Hi Y’all. Writing is going slowly for some reason but I’m working on it. This should tide everyone over.
Washi – Thanks again for hosting and creating the avatar.
Nicole023 – Thanks so much.
BurningWhiteRose – Ha ha. I’m not sure that would be wise.
Title – School Days
Part 19 Less than a Kalpa
Author – JustSkipit - Debra
Spoilers – Yes.
Rating – Part 19– PG
Disclaimer – Guess what… I don’t own W&T, Buffy or the rest of the BtVS crew. Any similarity to actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental and fortunate.
PSA – Apparently the US Senate thinks that the most important problem facing our country today is gay marriage. If you are an American (and voting age), please follow the link at the bottom of this post to contact your senators and let them know that you oppose this discriminatory legislation.
Note - Asher’s contribution: qxw4t007Adfew esrszaaaaas – He had put this in the story but I decided to move it here for readability.
Note 2 – I am neither a meditation master nor an enlightened being. I wholeheartedly endorse and promote the practice of meditation. If you want to learn, I recommend that you find a teacher or class for some guidance. In the absence of that possibility, there are many many books on meditation. As Jack Kornfield says, the most important thing is “taking the one seat.”
Thoughts in italics
“Are you ok, Miss Rosenberg?” one of Willow’s students asked.
“What? Why wouldn’t I be… ok?” the redhead nervously answered as she stopped pacing.
“Well,” Brian answered, “you’ve been pacing nearly the entire class and I guess you just seem really uneasy.” The other students watched the interaction with interest; they had obviously all noticed the teacher’s unease and were relieved that Brian had asked.
“No, I’m not…,” Willow paused as she realized that the entire class was watching her and that she had been acting very strangely throughout class. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, “you’re right. I’m feeling nervous about a meeting I have later.” She moved to her desk and sat down as the students returned to their work. Once there, she considered whether to embark on a strict regimen of counting, breathing deeply, or drinking more coffee. Deciding that the afternoon would probably involve plenty of breathing deeply, she returned to the caffeine plan.
Noticing that there were still 40 minutes left in the class, the young teacher decided to do some work on the computer to distract herself. It worked well and she was able to at least make it until the final bell without getting up and pacing more than three more times. “Enjoy your meeting,” Brian called sarcastically as the students filed out.
“I will,” Willow answered before realizing that her students were teasing her. She waited until they had all left the room and then sat in front of her computer once again. She wanted to run out to the quad but she couldn’t appear that eager and besides, it was only 3:35. She worked a few more minutes on the computer before shutting it down and ensuring that all the computers in the room were shut down appropriately. Glancing again at the clock she picked up her bag and quickly locked the door to the classroom.
--
Tara smoothed her slacks again as she stood awkwardly by the tree waiting for Willow to arrive. She hoped that she looked professional. She was wearing her best pants suit although she had taken off her jacket earlier in the day in deference to the heat. Since making the date, Tara had been trying to figure out how to maintain the necessary distance between herself and the adorable redhead.
While patrolling the night before, Faith had predictably teased Tara about Willow, implying that the two girls had a meditation date scheduled. While Tara argued with her friend and attempted to defend herself, she also knew that she needed to maintain distance throughout the afternoon. And as the older and more mature woman, she needed to take responsibility for the encounter. If anything inappropriate were to happen, as the teacher, it would be her fault. Having run into Willow and Buffy in the cemetery had reinforced her knowledge of how young the girl was. Goddess, the story about researching at the library for Buffy’s paper was ludicrous. Tara wondered if Willow always panicked like that under pressure.
“What’s so funny?” Willow’s voice cut into the blonde’s thoughts.
Tara turned quickly to see the redhead smiling flirtatiously at her. Oh Goddess! This is going to be much harder than I had thought, she realized as she absorbed the sparkle in Willow’s eye and the sun glinting off her hair. “Some-someone said s-something f-funny today,” she lamely answered.
Willow immediately regretted startling the blonde student. She was obviously thinking about something and now the redhead had startled her so badly that she was stuttering. Instinctively the redhead reached out and softly took Tara’s hand. “Yes, sometimes high school students do manage to say funny things,” she whispered as she stroked the skin she had been dreaming of for days.
Tara could barely speak as she felt the sensual movement of Willow’s fingers over her palm, the younger girl’s thumb rubbing the back of her hand. “Some high school students can surprise you,” she finally squeaked out, “they are more mature than you would e-expect.”
“I’ve noticed the same thing,” Willow agreed in a whisper as she stared at the beautiful blonde. After taking the girl’s hand she had taken a step closer so that the two were now separated by a mere few inches. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest and wondered if Tara could hear it as well. Willow could see the vibration on Tara’s skin as her pulse pounded in her neck. “I mean,” she whispered moving slightly closer, close enough that she could smell the girl’s sweet scent, “sometimes it’s more about individuals than age.”
“Yes,” Tara agreed breathlessly, “it’s about two individuals who connect completely.”
Neither girl could bring herself to move closer but neither could they break apart. All either could do was stare at the other: her lips, her eyes, every feature on the other’s beautiful face. Both breathed deeply the scent of the other, reveled in the feel of their flesh brushing lightly together through their linked fingers. “Completely,” Willow breathlessly agreed.
Tara couldn’t believe the feelings she was having as she stood under the tree entranced by the redheaded student. It wasn’t like they had had that many conversations or that their encounters had been long. But somehow she felt that she knew the girl as well as she knew herself. I’m falling in love with her, she realized with a start and a slow smile spread across her face. I’m falling in love with her, her mind repeated and she felt elated. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. Certainly she had loved her mother and she felt love and affection as well as an intense protective streak for Faith but this was something entirely different, something like she had read of and dreamed of as a little girl. I’m falling in love with Willow Rosenberg. She played with the thought in her mind, playing it forward and backwards. “Can you feel that?” she whispered.
Willow was shocked to hear Tara’s question. She had thought that the two girls were going to pretend to not notice their connection. That they were going to just break apart saying, “Ok. So meditating?” Instead, Tara had asked, “Can you feel that?” And Willow’s mind whirled, searching for the perfect romantic but not too romantic answer. “Can I feel that?” she finally whispered. “Can I feel how perfectly our hands fit? How it feels like you’ve taken up residence in my soul and my heart? Can I feel your heartbeat and smell the sweetness of your breath? Can I feel how badly I want to kiss you and never stop?”
“Yes, th-th-that,” Tara stuttered back as she felt the first drops of cold rain on her head. She lifted her gaze to wonder at Mother Nature’s timing. It was a reminder of the power of the elements. As a witch she had to respect the messages her world sent and this one was clear. She pulled her hands away and attempted to lighten the moment: “Or c-c-can you feel that rain?”
Willow looked down at her hands in shock. The world was quite literally pouring cold water on the two girls as if they were dogs in heat. This she hadn’t expected. She wouldn’t have been surprised if Buffy had appeared suddenly from around a tree to cluelessly interrupt the moment but for it to start raining… and hard… was just too much. She knew that the universe sent signs all the time and it was clear this time: hands off this wonderful, beautiful, girl who you are falling in love with.
Falling in love with?
The two girls had silently started walking across the grass toward Willow’s jeep and the redhead now stopped suddenly. In love with?
Tara stopped as she realized that Willow was no longer walking beside her but standing a few feet away staring at her. “Are we g-g-going the right way?” the blonde asked, confused by Willow’s stopping. “Did you want to drive or w-w-walk?”
Willow stood smiling at the blonde for a second before skipping to rejoin her. “The Jeep is this way,” she said pointing at the vehicle standing in the almost deserted student parking lot. Of course Dawn had driven this morning and insisted once again on being cool.
“C-c-can we put my bike in back or do you want to bring me back?” Tara asked.
“Oh definitely in back,” Willow eagerly agreed, happy to focus on meditating and working out the transportation logistics. “I mean that we can put your bike in back and go meditate and then later I can take you home or you can ride home or whatever you want without having the complication of my bringing you back here to pick up your bike and then take you home or bringing you back here and then you riding home.”
Tara giggled at the redhead’s babbling. “I’ll get my bike then,” she winked as she walked away.
Willow reached the jeep and opened the hatch. It was still raining but only lightly and she didn’t mind standing outside watching Tara retrieve her bike and then return to the car. As far as she was concerned, the blonde was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen in her life. She held Tara’s bag as the blonde loaded the bike easily into the back and then led her around to the passenger door, opening it for her. “My lady,” she said half-jokingly, “your carriage awaits.”
Tara quirked her head somewhat curiously as she slid into the seat. “Your carriage has a lot of garbage on the floor,” she teased as Willow shut the door.
“Buffy and Dawn have no respect,” Willow commented as she started the car.
“I know B-buffy but I don’t think I’ve met Dawn,” Tara led. She was gripped with a sudden fear that she knew exactly who Dawn was. She’s probably the beautiful brunette you’ve seen Willow with before school and at lunchtime, she thought.
“Oh you wouldn’t have met her,” Willow commented casually, “she’s only a sophomore so I’m sure you never see her.”
“Yep,” Tara agreed, “I mostly get to know the juniors and seniors.” She tried to ignore the thought that Willow hadn’t really explained who Dawn was. She looked up as the jeep pulled into a driveway. “This is a nice house,” she commented seeing the two story house.
“I’m hardly ever here,” Willow said as she again came around to open Tara’s door, “but then neither are my parents.”
“W-w-why not?” Tara asked, wondering why Willow’s parents wouldn’t be around much. They had seemed to have a good relationship when she met them at lunch, not that you can tell anything from that.
“Oh,” Willow explained as she opened the door, “they travel a lot. Both are researchers and college professors.” She shut the door behind Tara and offered, “Do you want a coke or some water?”
“I’d take some water,” the blonde agreed as she looked around the house. She didn’t want to be rude but at the same time she was intensely curious to find out more about the intriguing redhead.
“My room is upstairs,” Willow explained before leading Tara upstairs. You are a very bad woman, Willow Rosenberg, her mind shouted at her, you shouldn’t be doing this at all!
“Willow? Willow?” Tara repeated. It was obvious that the redhead was lost in a world of her own.
Finally the redhead realized that Tara was speaking to her. She blushed hotly: “w-w-what?”
Tara smiled as she saw the look on Willow’s face: “Can I use the b-bathroom?”
“Oh absolutely,” Willow agreed as she opened the door to her room and pointed at the door across the room. Tara set down her bag and went into the bathroom, giving the redhead a chance to look around. She sighed as she inspected the room. It had been over three years since she’d been in her room for more than sleeping a few hours on Christmas break. Most of the time she was at home she’d been with Buffy or patrolling or hanging out. Now she had a chance to peruse the room.
It was like a time capsule to 17-year-old Willow. Her desk set still was arranged neatly on the desk with an assortment of different colored pens and pencils. Her bookcase displayed various books she’d read in high school and not wanted since. Most amusing to the girl were the posters on her walls: Sarah McLaughlin, the movie poster from The Craft, and a poster from the US Women’s Soccer team that had won the world cup. Another wall held the famous picture of Brandie Chastian after she’d made the penalty shot and torn her shirt off. How could I not have come out until college? Willow wondered.
“Nice room,” Tara interrupted Willow’s thoughts, sorry to see the redhead jump. “Oh,” she apologized, “I didn’t mean to startle you.” She stepped closer and ran her hand down her host’s arm.
Willow smiled as she caught Tara’s fingers in her own as they were brushing over her hand. “Did you ever see something later and wonder how it could take you so long to figure it out?”
“I guess so,” Tara agreed glancing around at Willow’s bedroom. It was a typical teenage girl’s bedroom, neat and somewhat pink with posters on all the walls. The blonde’s mouth quirked up as she noted the assortment of women gracing the walls. Searching for something to say she managed to compliment the room with a minimum of irony: “Your room is cute.”
“Thanks,” Willow said while thinking, Well of course she thinks it’s cute. I mean typical high school girl’s room with girls on the wall. She quickly reached for two pillows off the bed and held them up before setting them on the floor.
Tara breathed out the breath she had been holding and reached for her bag. From it she pulled a few candles and a book. “I … um … I brought you this b-b-book,” she explained as she handed the paperback to the redhead.
“A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield,” Willow read aloud from the cover as she sat down, “thanks.” She opened the book and began idly flipping through it, startled to see copious notes in the margins. “Kwan Yin = Compassion” one said. Another: “show to Faith.” She looked up to see Tara watching her with a smile on her face. “This is your book,” Willow stated simply.
Tara smiled again. “It’s one of my favorites,” she said simply. She didn’t mention that there hadn’t been time to buy another nor did she have the spare money.
Willow jumped up and grabbed her bag before sitting down. “I got you one too,” she explained as she pulled a leather bound volume from her bag and handed it to the blonde.
“Breakfast at Tiffanys,” Tara read from the cover as she ran her fingertips over the fine work. She didn’t know exactly what to say. The book was a fine book in perfect condition and suddenly her used offering seemed so inadequate.
Willow tried to gauge the disappointed look on the blonde’s face. “Because you said you love To Kill a Mockingbird and … um … well Harper Lee and …”
Tara looked up as she realized that Willow doubted her present. “Because Harper Lee and Truman Capote were friends and he is Dill,” she smiled as she placed the book behind her. “I love it, Willow. Thank you.” Impulsively she leaned forward and kissed the redhead on the cheek before sitting back on her heels again blushing furiously.
Willow gulped as she processed the experience of Tara’s lips softly touching her cheek. She wondered where she could get more leather bound books for the girl before mentally slapping herself. She looked away quickly again to pick up the book from Tara and found a post-it note on one page.
“It’s the definition of a Kalpa,” Tara interjected as she saw the page the redhead was perusing. When Willow shut the book and looked up expectantly Tara explained, “The Buddha lived one hundred thousand Kalpas of perfect compassion and equanimity before he became enlightened.” When Willow looked confused about the term Tara continued: “to understand what a Kalpa is, imagine a mountain taller and higher than Mount Everest.” She waited a moment until Willow closed her eyes and nodded. “Every one hundred years a raven carrying a silk scarf flies over the mountain letting the scarf trail over it. A Kalpa is the amount of time it would take for the mountain to be completely worn away.” She smiled as she finished the story. It always calmed the blonde witch to think of how long time really was.
Willow listened to Tara’s story intently. She felt herself calmed by the blonde’s tone of voice and the timber of her lyrical voice. If she couldn’t kiss this beautiful woman, she truly wished she could just lay her head in the girl’s lap and feel her running her thin fingers through her hair. “Kind of makes the time between now and summer seem short doesn’t it?” she finally asked, knowing that Tara would understand exactly what she was saying: “Can you wait for me? Will you wait until summer?”
“Only a heartbeat,” Tara agreed. And she could really believe it. Next summer Willow would be graduated from high school and, she assumed, 18. And Tara would be finished with college. They could be free to explore what was growing between them. It was a matter of patience…
Willow opened her eyes and smiled at the blonde allowing their eyes to connect and hold. “A heartbeat,” she repeated to let Tara know that she would wait for her. Both girls sat silently enjoying the other’s gaze and the peace that came from knowing that a relationship lay in front of them if they could just be patient.
Finally Tara spoke: “Tell me about your meditating experience.”
Willow leaned back against the bed and told the blonde about her relatively few and failed experiences meditating. She had read descriptions from books but never really been able to get into them.
Tara listened interestedly in Willow’s explanations of her attempts to meditate. No wonder she hadn’t been pleased. The girl had been trying to learn from books and trying to apply an almost mathematical methodology to the practice, keeping track of thoughts and distractions and classifying them. Tara had learned to still her mind from her mother and from the earth. She needed do nothing more than use her mystical senses and feel an inner calm. She hoped to be able to help the redhead attain a similar peace. When Willow finally finished speaking Tara thanked her.
She guided Willow to sit on the pillow with her back straight and her legs crossed, ensuring that the girl was comfortable and lightly adjusting her position with her hands. For Willow’s part, she turned herself over completely to the blonde student’s touch. She wondered if it was the intention to meditate or Tara’s touch that had her so relaxed and simultaneously wondered at the contrast of the calm and peace she felt in the midst of unquestionable sexual tension. Her want for the blonde was almost palatable and she grinned as she realized that she was finally feeling the passion she had never understood from those around her. Just before feeling Tara’s fingertips stroking her temples from behind she wondered if Tara felt the same excitement she did.
“Ok, Willow,” Tara spoke softly while still rubbing the redhead’s temples, “we’re going to do a Mantra meditation. For a mantra you will want to use something that you consider to be holy or peaceful words. Examples would be the Lord’s Prayer, The Prayer of Saint Francis, the Shema, or simply a word like peace, love, or joy.” She waited close to a minute before asking, “Do you have the phrase?”
Willow nodded. She thought about speaking to tell Tara what her mantra was but she felt just so relaxed that she didn’t want to break it.
“Ok,” Tara continued in her soft voice, “what I want you to do is just sit and relax. If a thought enters your mind, no matter what it is hear, as if you are actually hearing it, the next word in the mantra. You want to actually feel that you are physically hearing the word as if you are under a loudspeaker or listening to headphones. Don’t judge the thought, just hear the mantra and let your mind clear again.”
The blonde removed her hands from Willow’s temples with some amount of regret. As long as she had the excuse of calming the redhead, she could enjoy the softness of her skin and the intense sparkling connection she felt. She almost felt the impulse to ask if Willow was a witch but thought better of it and held her tongue.
“What about breathing?” Willow asked.
“I’m definitely in favor of it,” Tara whispered and enjoyed seeing just a corner of Willow’s smile. “Seriously,” she whispered, “let your breath go and relax.” She moved in front of Willow and told her, “We can start now and I’ll tell you when we’ve gone long enough.” When Willow didn’t speak, Tara closed her own eyes and quickly entered a meditative state.
After thirty minutes Tara allowed herself to return to conscious awareness of the room and slowly brought Willow back. The redhead looked refreshed and well rested.
“Wow,” Willow breathed, “that was amazing. I mean wow. Just … wow. It was better than…” she trailed off as she realized that she was about to say “better than sex” Not only is it a good thing you didn’t say that but how would you know? her mind kicked out.
“Sounds like it was good,” Tara joked back as wondered what the student had been about to say. Coming from someone else, the blonde would have suspected that she was about to say it was better than sex. But Willow just radiated such innocence that Tara couldn’t imagine her saying such a thing. The girl was … virginal was the only word. The blonde looked around the room and noted the growing shadows. “Can I use y-your phone?” she asked.
Willow nodded as she stretched her arms and legs. She noted the way Tara’s gaze was following her as she did so and smiled back. “I don’t have one in here but we can go to the kitchen,” she explained as she stood up. Tara did the same and followed her from the room.
Once downstairs, Tara set her book bag on the counter while Willow pulled another two bottles of water from the fridge and handed one to the student. “Hey,” she heard Tara say. Willow left the kitchen so that she wouldn’t be eavesdropping and waited in the living room for the blonde to finish her conversation with her parents. After a few minutes the blonde joined her. “I have to g-go,” she said, “but I really enjoyed today, Willow.”
Willow walked Tara to the door, not knowing exactly how to finish the date. She wanted to kiss Tara and in absence of that option, wanted desperately to hug the girl. But she was all too aware that if she hugged Tara, she might never let go. “Maybe we can… do this again?” she offered as the girls stepped onto the porch.
“I’d love that,” Tara whispered as she stared into the redhead’s eyes. She wanted to lean over and kiss the girl’s cheek again but knew that it wouldn’t be right. She shouldn’t have done it the first time. Instead she awkwardly stuck out her hand and shook Willow’s. Even that touch seemed strangely intimate as both girls held the contact for longer than the usual handshake. Looking at their hands Tara finally whispered, “I really d-d-do have to …” She knew that she was trying to convince herself to go.
“Right…,” Willow agreed as she noted the way the sky was darkening, “… dinner time and all.”
“Dinner,” Tara agreed wishing that she could ask Willow to dinner instead of meeting Faith at the apartment for sandwiches or Ramen noodles. As a clap of thunder sounded she started laughing and broke the contact. “I think someone is trying to tell us something,” she smiled.
As Tara lifted her bike down onto the sidewalk Willow offered, “I could take you home?”
“No,” Tara answered, “I think the rain will do me good.” She waved and pedaled away, leaving Willow once more standing and watching her ride away. It wasn’t until Willow had gone through the house turning off lights, straightened her room, and was leaving for Buffy’s house that it struck her that Tara had agreed about waiting until next summer in spite of only being a Junior.
lol
. Love sam xx
But please give them finally a clue. I´m not far from insanity here. 
Very nice with the slight hand/arm touches and kiss on the cheek. Ahhhhhh... So many memorable things to quote in this update but my favorites were; 
more
.
BWR
teasing us like that 
Edited by: 
But they'll find out soon right? ...... right? ...... right?! ...... oh come on! 
