WillowRTaraM1 Hope you liked the last update, and that you enjoy the next one! Thanks.
smileintheether Glad to enliven your evening a bit! And wow, can I just say I was super shocked to read that the last update made you smile!? I thought for sure when I posted it that people would be so angry and upset at Tara, so it was nice read something completely unexpected. And thanks, I'm glad you thought it was a needed forgotten moment. I had a hard time with this update, because on the one hand, I could see her staying and just taking whatever happened... but on the other hand... I don't know, I just kept thinking of canon Tara and this Tara leaving seemed to fit so much better than if she stayed. I'm glad you liked how the title was explained. It seemed like a decent way to describe how Willow was learning to trust and love Tara through her dreams. Thanks so much, I hope you enjoy the next update.
WR/TM Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the last update. Hope you like the next, as well.
lavenderangle Glad that the update energized you, that's awesome. And yeah, my updates seem to come out of thin air, with no rhyme or reason as to when they'll be posted. I blame bunnies. Again I'm surprised to read that someone thinks Tara is brave and not a complete chicken (which is what I was expecting from feedback this round; that's what I get for expectin'!). She was brave, even if she isn't quite sure what it means yet. And glad you liked the conversation with Xander. Willow has been co-dependent to a degree, and it was important I think for him to remind her that this is her life to deal with. Hope you enjoy the next bit and thanks very much.
BeMyDeputy Filler feedback! Interesting. I'm not sure how I'd feel if the love of my life told me they loved me for the first time in a note on the kitchen bar or text. I'd probably be giddy and then bummed wondering why they didn't tell me to my face and then be perpetually regretful if we got together that the first 'I love you' was so impersonal. Hopefully it won't come to that for these two! And I think everyone has had a variation of that dream - I know I have! Thanks so much - I hope you like the next bit.
nightmask Thanks so much. Another vote for Tara needing some time before facing Willow - will wonders ever cease! I agree about the CD; if can't talk to Willow, why not immerse in Willow and really get to the nuts and bolts of the matter. Very funny about the timing; I've had that happen with fic too. I remember back in the day being very sleep deprived at work because of Sassette, lipkandy, tarawhipped, etc. Hope you enjoy the next part and thanks again.
taranwillow4ever Thanks so much. I'm glad the last part resonated - big relief. You're right, I too think everyone has been in that situation of making a mistake and then instantly wanting to make it better, only to be stuck waiting. It's really, really hard, especially when you're prone to overthink. Glad you liked the Neverland explanation. I was nervous it would seem lame. Please enjoy the next update.
Mrs. Pineapple Ha! Yeah, reading about half would result in a steady stream of expletives. (Of course, I think there have been plenty of whole updates that could result in the same... but you know what I mean.) I'm glad you went back later though and that the result was more sense-y. Thanks on the dreams/nightmares and Xander-call. You know, I don't know if I mentioned that the title would be a Peter Pan reference, but I definitely did say that it was not a Michael Jackson reference! (Cause, weirdness.) I'm glad that the note made things a little better. Interesting guess on the song, and not a bad one, especially since you picked both sides!
But yes, safe to say that it'll get under Tara's skin, just like anything Willow usually does. And thanks re: writing ahead. I try. It's hard with the baby and now puppy, but if I can, I try. I don't like the breaks any more than you guys, trust me! Hope you like the next bit and thanks again.
zampsa19752001 Thanks, I'm glad you liked, and that you liked Willow's conversation with Xander. Felt like it needed to happen. And a vote for Tara to talk to Willow before Willow meets up with Sheila you say... /whistles Hope you like the next update!
beautiful_love Favorite? Blushing! Thanks so much, truly. I'm glad you like the detail, and that the Post St space came alive for you. I can see it very clearly in my head, but wasn't sure I'd be able to describe it well. Glad to read that you think I did. Interesting that it wasn't angsty for you and that Tara's note was the savior. In my mind, of course Tara would leave a note; Willow would, so even if Tara didn't want to she would just as a sort of, reciprocal courtesy, you know? I'm glad you liked the conversation between Willow and Xander, too. I like Xander, and it's fun to write him as the best version of who he was on the show, in a way. Thanks again, and please enjoy the next part.
The Best Name On The Site Glad the last little update could make you happy - hurrah! I'm glad that you're almost fixed, and I hear you on the terms for complete fixing. Trust me, it's in the plans so sit tight! Thanks so much, and please enjoy the next bit.
ceridwen Yeah, I think long ago I thought she would overhear Willow (her reaction was... interesting), but it just didn't fit this circumstance. And yup, the big night, Sheila is probably on a plane somewhere, listening to the safety announcement and wondering why in the world airlines stopped offering blankets and pillows as a complimentary service given high ticket prices. Glad you can see the light - it's been a loooooooong time coming. Thanks very much for the incredibly kind words - very much appreciated.
wimpy0729 A gift of dragging things out? I'll take it, if only because I like gifts.
Yeah, they do think and think, thinkthinkthink themselves in circles, don't they? And poor Tara, so close! Yet so far away. Actually, I think she's pretty close. In a game of hot or cold I'd say she's firmly in the warmer camp; she just might not realize it yet. I'm glad you like this Xander. I liked Xander on the show... mostly. I think his problem was that his faults were emphasized to the extreme to accentuate his buttmonkeyness and that was grating. However, occasionally he'd have flashes of something better and I wanted to try and capture those traits here. (Puffy Xander is well-represented here.) And running Tara. It just seemed to fit. Sitting and waiting for Willow to maybe break her heart was something that S4 Tara was able to do (see, NMR), which is both a testament I think to her strength and insecurity. I think this Tara is a little more confident in knowing what she needs and perhaps a little weaker as well. She's terrified of getting her heart broken, whereas S4 Tara maybe thought she deserved it (at least, that's my take because of the demon and all). It's interesting finding the similarities and contrasts and committing to them. I'm glad you thought Tara was being brave with the note. You know, I didn't think it when I wrote it but I can see it. If anything, she's just being honest, which is important for them, showing their honest feelings. Love the fantasy, though not quite what happens next. (Hopefully you'll like the alternative... maybe.) And ulcers! Probably. But I think I'll get rocks thrown at me if I delved into their medical histories. Like this story isn't long enough! Thanks so much! I hope you like where things go from here.
LonelyTara I like the idea of Xander as prophet. He would be so surprised, and possibly prone to brag! We'll see though. As you wrote (paraphrasing), Willow does have an uncanny knack of stepping in it. Hopefully the last 24 hours have taught her a little something though about boundaries, expectations, etc. Thanks so much; hope you like the next update.
KnightlyLove Oodles of exclamations! Could be good, could be bad... I'm going to go with neutral, like Switzerland. That way the room for misunderstanding is smaller than a flea's studio apartment in New York City. Glad you thought the title explanation was cute. Seemed to work, given the dreams, etc. Hope you like the next part, and thanks!
Kajun Thank you so much. Willow did indeed make an oopsie, and boy is she beating herself up about it. You got it right with the door clicking. It's funny sometimes when you're asleep how you can incorporate sounds into dreams, startled awakenings, etc. I'm always fascinated by that. Glad you thought the cast iron pants line was funny. I was like, "what wouldn't fit... cast iron pants." I'm sure if I spent more time on it I could think of something more clever, but it is what it is. And you're totally right - Willow is a laser and Tara is buckshot. And oh yeah, it would be crushing to hear Tara ask her to move out, but I don't even think that would deter Willow from declaring her love. The girl is on a mission! I'm glad that you're admiring Xander. So funny how we all have our respective feelings about these characters from the show, other fic, etc and how hard it can be to let go of those thoughts. Xander's great gift here is that he's reminding Willow about Tara wanting to kiss her. It's easy to get caught up in the fleeing and miss the wanna-be-smooching. His message was very, "This too shall pass," because it's so true. Willow is up against it, but in a few days the landscape will be very, very different, no matter what happens. (Cause, it can't stay like this forever.)
And yup, "love" is what she wrote. You know, funny about the parallel you mention between the note/doodles because I didn't even think of that. And props to Marissa indeed, though I picture her being so busy as to not even wonder in that moment. Sort of like when you bother someone at work with a "quick question" and they don't even look up to answer. And agreed that she should have the time to just paint. Hopefully she can get that! Hope you're doing well, and thanks for the super kind words. Very much appreciated! Hope you like the next update.
what_we_do_is_secret And hoo! Thanks!
love_2003 Yeah, Tara leaving was probably pretty telegraphed... just seemed like something she needed to do. Glad you liked Willow chatting with Xander, and yeah, Tara could probably use a confidant soon. Thanks so much.
WillowRulez Amen to it being Pens and guaranteed good things in the end. Yeah, Tara is being cautious. I'm glad you liked the pinball analogy - it seemed apt! Glad you liked that she knows that things will change once they talk, and yay for Xander. You're right that Tara will thank him. I think he's due a mini muffin basket of epic proportions. Maybe a "beer of the month" club membership for life. I'm glad that you liked the title explanation from Xander. You're right that he is more selfless here. I like to think of him as being the best of what he was on the show, you know? The note is definitely good and bad for Willow. On the one hand, Tara isn't there... but on the other, gotta love the love. Thanks so much, hope you enjoy the next part.
inspiron Tara the tease. At least you know she's not doing it on purpose. Interesting suspicions. Definitely going to have to keep reading to find out. Would be very intriguing if Willow showed up at the studio, though, I'm sure she'd think that was borderline stalkerish behavior. Xander saving the day - least written phrase, ever?
You're right though, he was all about the kiss while Willow was all about the flinch. Missing the forrest for the trees. I'm really glad you like the title description. Seemed to fit. Glad you liked the love note and CD bringing, as well as the vote of confidence. Things might seem unsettled now, but patience, it is Pens after all! Thanks so much and hope you like the next update.
bouncer73 Thanks so much. Yeah, yet more of them not talking. At some point, I promise, they will talk.
Glad you liked that Xander told Willow no. She needs to suck it up and do what she needs to do, you know? Hope you like the next update.
sabina Haha, fair enough about not liking where the story is going... just remember, happy ending guaranteed! And yeah, even if I wanted to write an instant solution, I don't think I could. I'm long-winded, don't you know! Glad you liked Xander's take that things are looking up. And yeah, two days, ten chapters, that sounds about right, sadly. Did I mention I was long-winded? Yeah, Willow's plan is starting to look like it's going to go off as planned, and I can see how you'd think it would be good for her to shake things up a bit. And you're right, the plan is a total excuse. It's the toe in the closet, you know? And who hasn't had that dream, right? I've had one where I've needed to take a Spanish exam, but I've never taken Spanish. As you can imagine, mucho panic inducing. And 4am! Get to sleep missy! Thanks so much, and take care yourself!
wayland Thanks very much. I'm glad you liked the dream sequence. As I mentioned above, I find it really fascinating how we can incorporate real sounds, smells, events etc into our dreams, and have enjoyed writing that here. You're right that Willow is at her core terrified of rejection. It's like, I know she loves me... but what if that's not enough? Yeah, I think the groundwork was definitely telegraphed for Tara to flee. Interesting thoughts on why you like Tara taking off. I can relate very much; it would be hard if it was something blurted and questioned, though, at this point I'm not sure how they'll get entirely to the point of no-doubts when they talk. Just seems ingrained. Glad you liked the note. You're right that Tara would of course leave a note. Willow would leave a note in the same situation - they care too much about each other to let the other worry. Willow and the note. More on that in the future. Xander as compassionate voice of reason - second least used sentence ever.
But so true. Hopefully Willow will come out of the pit of self-made hell and realize that things are coming up Willow. Thanks so much, truly.
Agilulfa Thank you so much for the very kind words, and no apologies necessary. Just glad that you're here now! I really appreciate the flattering compliments. Hope you enjoy the next bit and thanks again.
Samcat Thanks so much! Thanks especially re: Tara walking in the rain. That was a fun little paragraph to write. Glad you liked the Willow Xander conversation. I'm a Xander fan too, and agree sometimes that fic writers really go to town on him, highlighting his negatives only. That said, dude does have faults, just here I tried to focus on his positives. Funny how you felt bad for Tara and now feel bad for Willow. It's tough, how these two are coming together, but fear not, coming together is in their future. (Huzzah! Pens!) Thanks again Anne.
JustSkipIt Yay Xander indeed. Re: Tara and the note... I think all of the above. (Except for the "lower, long, lo" part.
) I sort of think of it like... sometimes my son does something I don't want him to do, and when I call him on it he bursts into tears and comes to me for a hug. I always tell him, "I'm not mad at you, I just don't want you to do whatever it was dangerous/annoying/etc that you're doing." I kind of think the note was like that for Tara. Like she's saying, "I'm not ready to talk, but don't think that my leaving means I'm angry with you or hate you." It's the salve on the waking-up-with-Tara-gone wound, I suppose. And yeah, silly Tara. Interesting thought on whether they kissed three years ago... that would certainly add a crazy dynamic to the story. The truth will be revealed very soon! Hope you like the next part, and thanks so much.
Naeryn Yeah, this is definitely what some might call a, "rough patch." But hey, at least Tara didn't over hear their conversation and really go spinning off into 'uber extra crazy introspection land.' And yes, very frustrating, but hopefully not too unrealistic. It's so hard to put yourself out there, though I suspect the next time they meet up they'll have no choice. Thanks very much - hope you enjoy the next bit.
SylverMaki Aw, no breaking hearts! I promise it'll be housebroken puppies and sunshine in the end.
And totally understand re: wanting Willow to go track Tara down. I think if she didn't worry it would be an invasion of privacy she would. Hope you like the next bit and thanks very much!
pipsberg No apologies needed, massive or otherwise, though I do find it interesting that you'll make it up to me... by doing things you already do.
First of all, thank you very much. Second of all, very fancy with the underlining and such! I am very impressed. You're right that Willow doesn't do anything simply; that big brain is both a blessing and a curse. I'm glad you thought Willow and Tara's pain is appropriate to the situation, and yes, head bomb indeed. Funny about the dark, depressing movie, which as you know that is not my favorite. How did that happen?! I'm really glad you liked the most recent update. A relief to read because I was so nervous about it. It looks like multiple people agree with you about the school dream analogy! I've had those too, not fun. I'm glad you thought their reactions were true to canon. I think Tara could have gone either way, but I chose to go with the aspects of Tara that were more avoidy. Might have been a mistake, we'll see as the story progresses but it just felt right, like it fit this version of Tara best. (So, the canon moments of Tara leaving Giles when Oz showed up, leaving Willow's dorm when Oz was around, etc. were the ones I had in my mind.) You're dead on with the note. Glad you liked the conversation between Willow and Xander; another afraid of Tara overhearing, and honestly that was the original plan... but it didn't feel right, and if it feels forced or contrived I usually try and blow it up and go in another direction. I'm glad you liked that passage - that really is the crux of the issue, right? That no matter how much support Willow has, she has to come out on her own. (Sort of that whole, everyone dies alone thing.) Thanks so much, and thanks as well for the permission to take my time. Knowing me as you do, you'll know I'll take you up on it. xoxooxxo
indigokane Wow, you've read numerous times - that's impressive and crazy to me. (Still can't believe people like the story to read once; I don't think it'll ever sink in.) And thanks for popping in, welcome to the thread. And no need for slapping! Just gentle nudges in these parts.
Too true about the answer in the question, but to be fair, we know Willow is gay. For someone who doesn't have that tidbit of info, the reaction, backing away, could also be a straight someone saying, 'oh, not for me.' Hopefully Tara will see it for what it truly was soon and they'll get everything sorted out. And you say you want to know what happened three years before, eh? Your wish is my command.
Very pretty analogy with the pinball in Tara's head you used there!
Gotta love him! I loved the fact that he kept reiterating that Tara tried to kiss Willow…it’s a pity Willow was too busy focusing on the flinch, rather than Xander’s point of view.
). I have complete faith in you though and know everything will turn out peachy in the end….but I fear there are still quite a few bumps in the road ahead. Can't wait!
I'm excited to finally find out what happened that day at the park!!
