New Fic - Neverland

[EasierSaid]

Ask and ye shall receive! Here are the song titles and artists.

'Want to change everything' : "Every Shining Time You Arrive" Sunny Day Real Estate
'It was love at first feel' : "Love At First Feel" Mark Kozelek (an AC/DC cover!)
'I'll do anything for you' : "For The Windows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti" Sufjan Stevens
Chorus of voices : "For Those of Us Gone" A Northern Chorus
Fairy lights : "Mad as Snow (Acoustic Version)" Kitchens of Distinction

And for those out there who might not understand the allure of San Francisco's fog, a really beautiful time-lapse video. Sigh. I heart SF.

[DaddyCatALSO]

Yay!

Angst and a breakthrough might co-exist. But Willow's inenr monologue re Sheila reminds me (dating myself again) so much of the song "Tom Dooley;" "'bout this time tomorrow, reckon where I'll be...."

I can see Willow's reluctance/inablitiy to sya the word "red" out loud; she didn't want to chance finding out that it might not be inspired by her hair color. But she's grasped it well enough, I think.

Too bad in a way that the Willow- eye-color was achieved with oils & cna't be matched witht he acrylics; Tara could combine it with her own eye color and that red stripe color from "Confusing" in, well, any number of ways, I guess.

Abstaining from the itch to make a tasteless joke about looking at the ceiling....

[inspiron]

I love how you’ve incorporated music into this story and what an integral role it has to play. Every lyric, every beat of the drum, strum of the guitar creates a different emotion and it’s mesmerizing to read. I love how Tara is so affected by the music and you do a great job of describing her changing moods.

Tara’s thoughts have changed so much in the past week. She’s now considering Willow’s coming out and the fact that Willow could even be in love with her. As a reader, I relish all the little details you include (like describing the rain hitting the pavement) and am astonished at how well you work them into the overall mood and feeling of each chapter.

Willow. Oh gosh how I love Willow. She’s so concerned about hurting everyone else, I desperately hope those people don’t turn around and hurt her. Buffy has every right to be disappointed that she’s the last person to hear the big news, but I know she’ll quickly put that behind her and give Willow her full support. Their friendship is simply too important for that not to happen.

Very much looking forward to their dinner!

Thanks so much for finding the time to update this story again so quickly – you’ve made my day!

[Foomatic]

What the?!? How did I miss this update until now?!

I could totally feel the panic in Willow when she saw the red. Red red red. So awesome.

I enjoyed the descriptions of the music so much that I want a copy of Tara's mixed CD! Help a kitten out, would ya?

The fog as it raced past Sutro Tower. As it pushed against Ocean Beach. As it sat low among the tall buildings in the Financial District.

Loved this imagery. I think about the city and how gorgeous it is, and it blows my mind. I think about the city and Willow and Tara running around it, and it melts my heart.

And holy balls of titanium Batman, Willow asked her out on a date? Them barriers are gettin' knocked down. I love how both of them are entertaining the idea of everything being real; the love, the looks, the desire, the passion. Personally, I think they'll self combust the first time they kiss. Too much being held back for too long. Heh.

Am I the only one who's sad AND happy when Neverland's updated? When I read an update I don't know whether to feel excited that they're finally on the verge of getting together or bummed that we're inching to the end.

Thanks again for the frequent updates!

[WillowRulez]

What would she do if Willow's not what she was setting her up to be?

Isn't that what we all fear when we have been secretly in love with someone for so long? Heartbreaking.

She had been painting fog the previous Friday when Willow came home early from work, before Morgan's party. A lifetime ago.

..
Haha, a lifetime it was

And tomorrow she might break her heart. [..] What if her mom yelled, cried, or even worse, said nothing at all?

My parents didnt say much either and I just hated that. Nobody can be that accepting, I would have wanted some sort of feedback.
So I guess Willow is not keeping to the planned order huh? Cuz that really sounded like she asked Tara out on a date... and maybe then she will tell her what's on her mind...? Okay okay I am getting ahead of myself (or rather, yourself) again. Can't wait!!!!!!!!!

[SylverMaki]

OMG Heather! It was beautiful. It is unbelieveable. It is so close and so nerve wracking and wow. I reread the story over the past week and I wouldn't let myself read the update until I was back to it from the beginning and that definitely added some joy for me. To remember where they came from so vividly to now. Friday is over and the weekend is nigh and her and Tara are pretty much dating, which they both know but don't know the other one knows.

While I was rereading I read all my feedback and your responses. I'm really glad I started over. It is cool to see where I was mentally from 2004/2005 lol til now. I just graduated from college in 2004 and that is also when I broke up with my first love. Now I'm going on to a dream job starting next month and yes I'm still alone which sucks. But I bought a house and I'm gonna have everything paid off by the time I'm thirty. I feel like my life is settling and so I feel like this story is going with me. Willow and Tara are settling into a relationship whether they know it or not.

Yes I'm being long winded but I cried with the joy and realizations of this update. Tara is one smart cookie. Their happiness is coming and I wish I could say the same thing for myself. To be so close to having everything you want must be exhilarating.

Thank you for continuing to update. I love you for it. Like I said in a past feedback this story has a special place in my heart and in my life. I really appreciate it.

[JustSkipIt]

OMG. They're just gonna throw down on the dinner table and sweep away the dishes and silverware or maybe not even stop that long.

Or maybe not.

Still, it's just lovely to see. The music sounds quite intense. I have to admit that when someone says, "You've got to hear this song..." or whatever, I don't really analyze it that thoroughly although I guess in this case 1. they're totally obsessive about each other and 2. it's wasn't just "you've got to hear this song" it was a Tara playlist.

The thing is that the way Tara's starting to wonder about why Willow's so nervous about why Willow is so nervous and the way they are growing closer, I sort of think it would be strange if she doesn't mention it. You know? Like if she doesn't say "how are you feeling..." and "is there anything I can do..." and such? I mean at this point if she misses that, she's sort of not being the friend that she is.

The painting - like Filmore but red! Tee hee. Willow's going to totally spazz out over that for like the next 46 hours. Of course she did seem to unspazz enough to ask Tara out to dinner. And I've got to say it seemed very out to dinner as opposed to ... you know, like grab a bite. It seemed very "go out with me".

Oh. What lovely progress.

[LonelyTara]

I second the mix-CD request. I would totally buy a Neverland: Willow's Music Mix CD! It would be AWESOME! Then I could re-read and listen along!

[Agilulfa]

Awesome update! (as usual anyway :-) ) Your long reflective and descriptive sequences are always so fluent and never weight down the story while reading: they can really make you empathize with the world of the fiction and make it richer. I adored Willow screaming "Red" in her head over and over; it makes the scene so more vivid the switch from dialouge to the characters' immediate thoughts. Can't wait for their dinner-date and even more for what will happen on saturday! Thank you to keep writing such a great story, it always makes my day when a new chapter shows up!

[BeMyDeputy]

Heather,
When you began this story, I'm not sure I knew that there existed a show called "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," even though I was only a year behind the characters in school. Early comments basically amounted to "Ooh, look, you can write. More please, but they're going to kiss soon, right?"

When I first saw the series on Netflix this April, you had already posted your 53rd segment, in which Tara tells Buffy she and Morgan decided not to date, and Willow is told a story about a dolphin and half camel smoking and eating baguettes.

When I first arrived at this site this July, your story did not exist to me, because I kept strictly to the completed archives, having watched too many friends waiting anxiously for new comic book issues that never came.

When I finally decided to do something with the Buffy story knowledge gleaned from watching seasons 4-6 on repeat in the middle of the night all summer (long story), I began my own story, still leery of getting burned by reading other stories that were still in progress.

Then, a few weeks ago, Neverland made it to the top of the Different Colored Pens pile. With over half a million views and over two and a half thousand posts. So, I open it up, and I start to read. Ugh! AU . . . I hate AU . . . okay, except that a lot of the best writing on here is totally AU. Fine. It's popular, I'll give it a shot. One part, and I was intrigued. Five, and I was hooked.

What precisely does one say at a point like this?

Praising your visceral, detail-oriented writing style feels empty and redundant to the thousands of comments before me; though it is a style that is not my own, I find it captivating. That you actually command a use of the English language is evident in that you capture the attention of our local celebrities, and is evident to me in my ability to read your work at all. Alas, the curse of good English teachers.

I think now it's simply easiest to assume that we have agreed upon the thing to say, whatever it may be, and that I have said it, thereby successfully conveying my appreciation for the wealth of posts that came before the most recent one, and that you have received all the warm fuzzies and internet snuggles you are due at this juncture, so that I may move on to comment on the most recent post.

OMFG DATE!

Were this any other story, I would predict that something would happen during dinner to cause Willow to bump Tara to the top of her chronological "people to come out to" list, fitting her in between "right fucking now" and "when Shelia arrives." Were this any other story, I would also predict hot after-dinner action. Yet, this is not any other story.

Again you remind me with the first half of this post that you have a relationship with music that I simply lack (do you see how I have woven in the implication that we have spoken about this before? It continues the illusion that I came up with the right thing to say, and that whatever it was touched on your ability to describe music and art). While I enjoy music, and in fact played violin for 8 years in school, the way in which you describe music moving people is both completely appropriate (particularly with Tara) and completely beyond me. It's fascinating.

"–go out– Really?"

I see what you did there. Very nice.

She'd bake as many cookies as it took for the petite blonde to trust her again.

I also see what you did here. Nice reference. I loved "Something Blue."


On a final note, do you know Vienna Teng's "City Hall?" I think you'd like it. Even though it's a happy song, I cry every single time I hear it, which is why it's not allowed when I'm driving. I can't really put into words why, I just do.

P.S. Foo, I totally posted on the FaceBook page that there was a Neverland update within a few hours of it going up, so you have no excuse.

[sadie]

Awwweeesome! Didn't expect an update at all and it's kept me from work in the bestest of ways!

So... a date! I hope it'll make Willow a bit more at ease about the upcoming talks. Again the interaction is amazing, it's like you feel exactly what they're feeling every time they're just in the same room - and that against a backdrop of art and music, it doesn't really get much better than that

[histchic]

Genius! Genius! Loved this update, and I have more than a sneaky suspicion that the third act dazzle complication is...Tara. Meaning, Willow's impending coming out will be introduced into either dinner or post dinner conversation. Very angsty, as Willow will have a choice to make: violate her self-imposed timeline, or fast track to being with Tara.

And Tara has her own choices to make: does she want to be involved with someone who is brand-new gay? Putting aside all the romantic rhetoric about being "her first and only", it really is a weighty decision, especially given Tara's past and the fact, as you've pointed out, that this is a very whirlwind romance for both of them.

Willow being Willow, of course has done her homework and taken all the pre steps she can take, so it's not like gay is brand new to her, but does Tara know or sense that?

I really loved the line about would Willow live up to the pedestal Tara had put her on, because it's such an apt description of pre-relationship jitters. But can Tara live up to the pedestal Willow has put her on? I think sometimes we forget to ask the question both ways because we already know the story will end how we want.

I had an inkling Tara would be the dazzle right before you posted the Fillmore date, and their long hug was delicious vindication of that hunch. Getting the same feeling again, with Tara figuring out what's going on with Willow. BTW, the whole empathetic concern for a friend is classic, classic Tara.

Speaking of empathetic concern, Buffy has her own choices to make. While I agree that she won't be put off by Willow being gay in and of itself, Willow being gay + The Secret + Willow and Tara as a couple = Buffy as a bad case of the third wheel. I think she will be relieved that Willow hasn't been pining for Xander, but it will probably bring little ease in light of The Secret. She will be diplomatic and cool, but as far as genuine good feelings? I think she will come around, a la the end of "The Yoko Factor". But maybe not, in the interest of angst and a sequel.

ETA: thanks for the "old-timer" comment. It always makes me giggle to be called "old-anything" (I'm only 25). And I'm definitely glad to see your nick in this thread again also.

The reason I had asked about the iPhone is you had mentioned Dawn had one.

Also, have you ever thought about writing non fan fiction? Your style is really great, and your wamth for the characters and SF comes through. I know I would definitely be interested.

[Weaselbee16]

Yay! another update. I get so giddy when I see more of the story. I love your writing style. It's very emotional, but in a good way.

I would also buy the Neverland soundtrack, if such a thing was made. =D

[Foomatic]

P.S. Foo, I totally posted on the FaceBook page that there was a Neverland update within a few hours of it going up, so you have no excuse.

What do you think tipped me off? LOL.

[SickSadGirl]

Hello there! I was super excited to see this chapter. I've sorta been waiting for Willow to see the painting and react to it. I think this "kinda date" is going to be even more date-like than the last, but I'm a bit worried about how it'll end. I understand Willow's intentions with the order of coming out. Having Tara try to be her mentor or something would be mega awkward. And it would make their relationship a little too co-dependent. Tara wanting to help is sweet, but I think it will be easier to begin a healthier relationship if Willow sticks to her plan. I guess we'll see though.

Also...yay! They're both finally registering the possibility that the other is interested in them. One of my favorite things about this story is that they're so in character with the uncertainty in general, but willingness to trust each other. They wouldn't intentionally lie or hurt each each other. Even though they are extremely self-conscious, they want to do their best. It's wonderful!

Hope to see more soonish!

[Grimm]

Your killing me... I'm dying a very slow.... very delicious death with this story. Great update.. I really enjoy your writing.

[dragonfly]

My dear Heather,

I hope everyone is well, especially your baby who is probably staring to make some trouble around.
It’s always delightful to stop by the board and find an update to this wonderful story. With all the craziness going on in my days right now, I managed to miss your last updates, apologies for my lack of feedback.
Updates are marvelous as always, so much has happened in just a week, for us it’s been a bit longer, but for them just last week they were all awkward and tense, now they share moments, experience and enjoy each other with a world of possibilities. When reading through the updates I keep thinking they’re going to explode with all the teasing, just like Will asked Tara out for dinner, it’s the unstoppable force, they’re both acting on their feelings, step by step, getting closer with each line.
Love your description of Tara’s discern for the songs, it’s like the fog is thinning out and soon sun will shine through it allowing them to see what has been right in front of their eyes the whole time. I wonder if during dinner Tara tries to reassure her that she can count on her shoulder anytime.
I understand Willow’s logic and will to keep an order for events, she has a plan and is trying to stick to it, but her actions are revealing her true feelings. It’s very hard to not glow when you see the object of your affection near, how to control your emotions when in love is a mystery to me.
Excellent descriptions, I follow all their feelings, have gone through the pain, excitement, embarrassment, love and dislike during this amazing journey that I don’t want to come to an end.
Can’t wait for their dinner date, and hope Willow’s mom is not so hard on her.

Love,
Clau

[dragonfly]

I hit submit twice and got a double post...

[Sassette]

This fic is ...

Well, if I had to try to describe this fic, I'd say it's like this unholy amalgam of dodgeball and baseball, with half the characters runnning around with clue-by-fours in their hands trying to hit the other half of the characters upside the head with them, only to find that the other half of the characters are extraordinarily nimbly-bimbly and able to duck, shift, zig, zag, and otherwise keep their noggins clue-free.

I mean that in a good way. A Very Good Way.

I had to re-read this fic (time well-spent!), which I just finished doing - and with the above-mentioned description of this fic, for me, Part 54 was the part I was waiting for. The clue-by-four has now made at least partial contact with Buffy, Tara and Willow. Things are coming together nicely. But not in a pervy way. I'm sure that part will be later.

As oddly-violent french-farce as my dodgeball/baseball analogy sounds, what I really love about this fic is that it does not require any suspension of disbelief. The characterization here is fantastic, and every little obstacle between Willow and Tara - even the obstacles of their own making - are ... real. Because - of course Willow won't deviate from her Coming Out plan, even though she suspects that Tara is into her. Willow doesn't deviate from plans ... Willow panics when she has to improvise. And of course Tara doesn't grab and kiss the straight girl - not after what she's been through. And now that she suspects Willow may be gay and into her - of course she's going to wait and let Willow set the pace and see if her suspicions about Willow's coming-out timeline are correct.

But, even so, these are still Willow and Tara, and that means they're like little lesbian magnets, inexorably drawn to each other - ergo, parties, errands, concerts, dinners ... they just can't not be together. Beautimous.

And, seriously - your Xander is the best lesbro ever. I mean, I love my lesbros, but ... their relationship advice isn't nearly that good.

Is it wrong that, of all the unanswered questions, the one that I'm geniunely >worried< about is ... will Tara finish all of her paintings in time for the show ... ? Unless I've misinterpreted the timeline, Willow's coming out will be before Tara's deadline, and so there's a very good chance that Tara will have better things to do than paint.

So I'm >wondering< about the rest of it - but not worried. This is the kitten board afterall

I look forward to seeing precisely >how< things work out. I know they will, but ... my god. It's like they're both having this really crazy little-lesbian-magnets vs. internal-self-made-obstacles thing going on. Little-lesbian-magnets will, eventually, win ... but is the obstacle removal going to go as planned, or are they just so hot for each other the obstacles are going to get crushed? Because ... there's just not enough cold water in the world and it's a miracle they haven't spontaneously combusted.

-Sass

[pipsberg]

Wow, kudos on another long (actually, probably short for you) thoroughly enjoyable update. I really love these type of introspective updates - not that I don't love the interactive updates, 'cause those are awesome as well - but I really appreciate these for a number of reasons, specifically as it relates to Tara. First, without a doubt we never got enough Tara depth on the show and I think you do a fantabulous job here of exploring her in a very realistic way, and not just as an extension of her relationship with Willow. She's her own complex, lovely, talented person and I really love experiencing that in Neverland. Secondly, you describe her artistry so well and I love being in her head as she creates her work and gets in the mental space she needs to be to paint. Just love that.

I don't usually quote other kitten's feedback, but I have to steal something from Sassette here because it is spot on and so well said!

It's like they're both having this really crazy little-lesbian-magnets vs. internal-self-made-obstacles thing going on.

This is so true and like Sassette also mentioned, you don't have to suspend belief to follow along. There is enough cannon obstacles to think there would be this many real life obstacles... both tangible and self-created.

My other favorite part of this update was Willow's reaction to seeing the painting - thought that was very powerful and so well done. I can see her reaction playing out and feel what it would be like for her... her thinking

RED!

over and over again like she just can't get past that initial emotion of the reaction to it. Brillant.

This was such a warm, lush update and I really loved it. I am so excited they are going to dinner together and I loved the way Willow asked impulsively.

Big Kudos and congratulations on keeping the updates rolling. I am so proud of you and I know how much you have been focused on progressing the story of late. Love you lots. xoxo

[EasierSaid]

Kittens Not sure if you've noticed, but Sassette updated her Vignettes. Now, normally I don't call out fics like this but I just love her writing and this story in particular just really grabbed me. So, if you haven't checked it out, please do. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

BuffyFan4ever Thanks so much and yay for night class cancellations. The girls are getting it, hallelujah. As for Sheila, I don't think there's any way she could force Willow to move - she's a grown woman after all - but I think even a few negative words would hurt Willow to the core. Regardless of whether she's around, she's her mom, you know, and they've had a decent relationship during Willow's adult years. I think Willow is sensitive enough that anyone with a less than ideal reaction would cut her. Agree that Ira is a wild card. Willow has no idea what he thinks. Thanks! (And I don't know how to change colors; I'm woefully inadequate at that kind of stuff! Can anyone help a girl out?)

LonelyTara A date, a date - gotta love a date. Thanks very much for the super kind words. I'm glad you liked Tara looking at the rain; I wasn't sure it made sense, but I wanted to try anyway. I like what you had to say about her taking solace in herself; I didn't think of that when I wrote it but it's true, isn't it. Glad you liked the music line and the red bit as well. Very lovely and intense description of their spiral into each other. A space for love, indeed. Thanks so much!

lonelylanding I love that I've warped you guys into thinking three weeks isn't that long for an update! Bodes well for us all moving forward. Only started 3 months ago - I think the old timers would consider you a 'lucky so-and-so,' considering the slow pace and my slow updating schedule. I'm glad you feel like the angst and waiting is worth it. Thanks so much - please enjoy the next bit!

shiraz Thanks so much for the super kind words. Separate and together - yeah, that's pretty much it at this point, right? I'm glad you liked Tara's painting process and CD listening party for one. I worried that both were too indulgent. I'm glad you also like Willow asking Tara out. It seemed to fit where they both were in that moment. Thanks so much!

Naeryn Thanks - so glad you liked that line. Glad also that you approve of Willow's choice. She is trying to do right by everyone; she wants to badly for everyone to experience the least amount of hurt, and in her mind, that means telling people in a pretty strict order. The bit about Sheila possibly hating Tara - it's unfortunate but so common. I think for Willow, her reasoning is sound... it's the execution that's the thing. Hope you enjoy the next bit and thanks again.

vampyregurl73 Thanks for the elephants - those jolly bastards make the heart sing. Thanks so much re: the music. I don't think writing about music works unless you're writing about how it affects someone; a song that I love might sound like nails on a chalkboard to you, etc., so it's really less about the music and more about what Tara thinks about the music. (If that makes sense.) And your right, if Tara wasn't already in love she'd be falling hard. Between Willow's adorable efforts for them to spend time and the tunes - good times. Thanks so much.

Tranzevillan I love it - "irritating and mind blowing" pretty much sums this story up for a lot of people I think! Thanks very much for the very kind words - I really appreciate it. I'm really glad to hear that the story has resonated with you. And totally understand about the taking a break - the compliment is taken! Thanks so much Tina.

Kajun Hey - not sure if you saw but I posted the song titles/artist; once Tara's listened to the whole CD I'll post all the titles/artist again. Glad to hear you enjoyed the previous songs. I know they're not for everyone, so yay! Thanks so much for the kind words - totally appreciated. I'm glad you like Tara's painting process. You know, it's funny because I didn't really have it in mind but then I went back and reread Neverland when I was on that year long break to try and remember what was going on, etc. and saw that she had been painting gray when Willow came home before Morgan's party - thought, what the hell, why not. And I love SF's fog. It is so romantic and beautiful, even when it's just gray and blah. I thought Tara might like it too. And yay for Ferris - love that movie. Willow - coming out is so hard. It really is. Even if everything goes perfectly and every one is super supportive there is so much stress and worry involved. I think she's right in she's done all the mental prep she's needed to do; now she just needs to do it, say the words and see what happens.
Glad you like the red and totally re: Tara parting with the paintings. She's created these visceral, personal works and now she has to sell them? Just seems wrong. And date, yes, definitely a date. More on that in the next update. Thanks for sharing about the hummingbird, that's so cool. We have hummingbirds in our backyard and I'm always amazed by them. They're so fragile and robust at the same time. Very cool that you got to experience one up close and personal. Thanks so much Kajun.

MochaVamp So glad the update could help turn around an irksome day in a frustrating week! And yay for a fellow click lover. There is something satisfying about a house that makes noise. I'm glad you like Tara's worries about Willow; it is terrifying when you put yourself out on a limb, romantically, and she's trying to do so for a girl who might not even be able to reciprocate because she's straight... oof. Thanks re: nature. I love rain, I love the mood it creates and the effect it has on the world, so I wanted to take a shot at trying to convey that affection. Glad you thought it worked. And thanks re: the creative process. I think it's my inner-frustrated artist. I can't paint, so I like to imagine what it would be like to be able to make everyday things wonderful and beautiful. Hope you like the next bit!

Zampsa1975 Thanks so much. I'm really glad you liked Tara watching the rain. It was fun and challenging to write. Also glad you like Willow's thoughts on coming out. It's so close, I imagine her heart is just racing every time she looks at the clock. So much closer to her life changing forever. Hope you enjoy their date and thanks again.

wimpy0729 Again with the 'so soon' - I love that you guys think every few weeks is 'soon!' Totally bodes well. (And only slightly makes me miss the old days when I was able to just write and post multiple times a week.) Thank you very much, I'm really glad you felt like the previous update worked and wasn't just silly. I worry sometimes that I'm describing too much, like, does anyone actually care about this stuff? But lo and behold! I'm just genuinely surprised every time by the feedback. And a real "date" date indeed! Will wonders ever cease?! You sound as excited as I bet they feel. Thanks Wimpy, totally appreciate it.
(P.S. Don't know if you saw but Christmas Quickie featuring the infamous Lesbian Nasal Fracture - a wholly fictional tale - was mentioned in the Looking For thread. Totally made my day remembering good times and your special brand of evil genius. So glad a new generation of Kittens are going to be educated about the dangers of LNF.)

Mrs. Pineapple Thanks - so glad you were pleasantly surprised by the posting speed! (Or was it the update - either way, big thanks!) Three in a row - I think I would call Willow's worries angst, but we can count the streak in a special, no-major-angst-between-Willow-and-Tara category. As for the red; it had to be her hair, right? I think at this point Willow's not only open to seeing things like that but also actively encouraging the universe to show her signs. More on the red in this update. And yes, a date, for both of them, a date. Good idea to hold on for a breakthrough and angst cause on Pens either or both are usually just around the corner. Thanks so much!

DaddyCatALSO Angst and breakthrough co-existing; it's like a Christmas miracle. Sheila definitely has Willow spooked - it's just an intimidating, scary conversation. She thinks she's ready... but are you ever really ready for that? More on the 'red' bit in the next update. And yeah, Tara has a whole host of Willow inspired works she could mash up. Too bad her medium isn't collage. And you naughty, naughty poster - now all I can think about are tasteless jokes about looking at the ceiling. Thanks!

inspiron Thanks so much. Writing about music is always harder than I remember it being. A lot of the time I worry that I'm not describing it well, or that it's too trite or that people just flat-out couldn't care less that Tara is listening to music, so it's reassuring to read you liked it. I try and make it about the character and not the song; the lyrics just don't mean much unless Tara thinks they do. And you're right about Tara - she's gone in a complete 180 regarding Willow's feelings, her orientation, her relationship with Xander, Sheila, Buffy - it's really a whirlwind. I'm really glad you like the details - like the music, I worry that I over do it so I'm glad you enjoyed. And amen about Willow. Thanks again - hope you enjoy their date!

Foomatic Thanks so much. Cool that you could feel Willow's panic over the red. Another request for the music! Very cool. I posted the songs from this update a few up from your feedback. Once Tara finishes the CD I'll go back and do the whole list again. Hope you like the tunes - I realize they are not for everyone. Glad you liked the fog (also posted a link to an awesome fog video with those song titles). It's hard to explain sometimes to people who haven't been to SF how intoxicating the fog can feel - it really just adds a bit of romance to the city. And yes a date! Totally agree about the first time they kiss. What happens when the thing you want most of all actually happens? And I totally get you about the updates. We're getting to the point where I've written ahead to some of the big moments and it feels... surreal. No longer just in my head, but on the "page," so to speak. Just weird. Thanks again!

WillowRulez Thanks a lot for your thoughts on those lines. I totally agree that it's heartbreaking; the what ifs can kill you if you let them. And doesn't that Friday seem like a lifetime ago? It is, if you count my son; he wasn't even close to being born and a "week" goes by and he's walking and talking. Surreal. Thanks too for sharing your coming out story - every on is different, and I totally feel you about the feedback. How frustrating. As for the date, more on that in the next update. Willow thinks she's sticking to the plan while veering very dangerously off-plan. Hope you enjoy the next part!

SylverMaki Wow to a reread - that's just so incredible to me every time I hear that. And thank you re: the last update - it is close and very nerve wracking! And yes totally about dating - more on that in this next bit. And congratulations on the dream job - that's so very cool! And even more awesome about the house. Isn't home ownership grand? (And a lot of work, but also grand.) Sounds like your life is settling very nicely, and it's cool that you feel like the story is settling with you. That's so sweet. (And you'll get there, too, I have no doubt. Just around the corner.) Thank you, I am really overwhelmed by your super kind words. Take care and please enjoy the next update.

JustSkipIt The "sezual tenshon" (as I imagine a Frenchman would say) is building, no? But alas, no monkey love at the restaurant. (That would be a far, far different fic I think!) I'm glad you're enjoying. And I agree about music, but I think this is a pretty special circumstance as you pointed out. I agree about Tara mentioning it, and I think she will, in her own way. There's a lot of fear though, too. She wants her ideas about Willow to be correct; that Willow loves her, that Willow is close to coming out. But asking, hey, what's up? might lead to something she doesn't want to hear so she's sort of, ping ponging back and forth between her desire to be a good friend and her fear that her heart is going to get crushed. You know? I think given time she'll reach out in a way that balances those two big emotions. And 'red' - Willow got the big clue by four on that one. Totally - it's a date and they both know it. More on that in the next update. I hope you like where the next update takes them and thanks again so much Deb, truly appreciated.

Agilulfa Thank you so much. I'm really glad you like the descriptive parts; I often worry that they're overly indulgent and wordy, so glad you think otherwise. I'm glad you also liked the switch between Willow's thoughts and dialogue. It felt right. Hope you enjoy their date and all that follows. Thank you for the feedback!

BeMyDeputy You know, it's funny because I've been posting for what, six years, and my story wasn't even started by the time most of the best stories on the site—lipkandy's Tempus Fugit (S4 AND S7), Antigone Unbound's Gods Served and Abandoned, Sassette's Answering Darkness, to name very few of many insanely awesome tales—were finished. Finished!!! That is such a testament to how awesome this site and community are. I'm second or third generation Kitten and I've been here for what seems like forever, and it warms the heart to see so many new people writing, reading, commenting, etc. It's just very, very cool.
Funny re: command of the use of the English language because I often feel like I fall far short. I mean, it's my native tongue, and I put punctuation in the right place most of the time, but you should hear the grumbles when I edit or read back posed updates. Lots of harrumphs, blushes and groans of mortification. (I often wish I took more English courses in college, or you know, paid attention more in high school.)
And very funny about Willow's coming out order; it is a confusing conundrum she's gotten herself into. About the music - in my opinion, music is nothing without the reaction it generates, and that reaction is different for every single person who listens to it. So, the songs on Willow's CD are only as interesting as Tara's reaction to them. (Who cares if you like them or I like them as long as Tara likes them, you know?)
Thanks re: the two quoted lines. I really like touching back to canon because that's why we're all here, you know? There is no Neverland without the show, and it feels good to pay homage and bring a little of TV Willow and Tara into these two's lives. (That was awkwardly written, but hopefully you get what I'm going for.) Thanks for the song rec, I'll definitely give it a listen. And too, too funny about posting about this on Facebook. Social media: Not just for sharing YouTube videos of kittens falling asleep sitting up anymore!

sadie Well as long as it's kept you from work in the bestest of ways (cause the worstest of ways would not be good)! And a date indeed. I'm glad you liked the update - please enjoy the next bit!

histchic Genius? Blushing! (So flattered, truly, thank you.) I'm going to go for the ridiculously cheesy and say that I can think of very few things more dazzling than Tara. How's that for being obscure? But you are right, Tara is totally the wild card. And yes, Tara has a lot of challenges as well; more on that (a little) in the next update. I think there is mutual pedastaling (not a word, but going with it!) going on - the reality is going to be very interesting for both of them. And Buffy - so, so true about Buffy becoming the third wheel. That is going to be a very hard adjustment for her. I think Yoko Factor is a good example of how Buffy will eventually deal with everything, but, yeah, it's going to be hard. (And a sequel? Where else is there to go once they're together and deliriously happy?!) And you're welcome, old-timer. And damn Dawn and her new technology! You know, it probably should bother me, the anachronisms, but it really doesn't. I guess because there's nothing really timely about the story; it's not set in 2004, so much as that's just when I started writing it. I mean, Willow references a song in this next update that wasn't out when I started writing, but it works, so I'm using it. I mean, if I were starting Neverland today, Willow would definitely have an iPad, probably a Blackberry Torch, you know? Eh, maybe one day I'll go back and even it all out, but until then, viva anachronisms!
And regarding writing non fan fic, I have thought about it, but no concrete plans at the moment. With my limited free time I'm just enjoying writing this story. Maybe one day when this is done and my kids (present and future) are older... But for now - Neverland it is.

Weaselbee16 Thanks so much. Another request for a Neverland soundtrack. Maybe someday someone can put together an iMix or something. (Though, I'm not sure one of the songs is on iTunes...) Hope you enjoy the next part!

SickSadGirl Thanks - so glad you liked what happened when Willow saw the painting. More on the "kinda date" (hint, it's "definitely date") in the next update. You're right to worry, I mean, Willow is toeing a dangerous line. She's got this plan in which she comes out to everyone in order—a key part being that she's not technically dating anyone—and yet here she is, asking Tara—who doesn't date straight girls—on a date. I don't think she knows what she's getting herself into. And agreed about Tara; Willow doesn't want Big Gay Yoda Tara, she wants girlfriend-equal-footing Tara. Thanks so much re: the in character, I'm so grateful that you think that. Intentionally hurting the other is far, far from possibility. They just are two good people trying to do their best. Hard, but they're trying. Thanks so much.

SMGOVAN Thanks so much, and slow death-by-fic is worth it if it's delicious, right? Hope you enjoy the next update!

dragonfly Hi Clau, good to see you. Yes, my little one is quite the troublemaker, but he is also a gigantic sweetheart, so it all evens out. No worries on lack of feedback, just great to see you now. Hopefully your life will calm down soon; I know how Pens can be a rock when real life gets crazy. Amen about thinking they're going to burst from the teasing - it does seem like that sometimes, right? Baby steps, for sure. They're getting there, although slowly. Thanks re: the songs, I really appreciate it. And yes! Like the fog is lifting in their minds. And Willow is doing a pretty poor job of sticking to her plan... but darnit, she's trying, she's trying. Thanks so much - I hope you enjoy their date. (And hehe about the double post; been there, done that my friend!)

Sassette Hey, good to see you again. Hope you don't mind the little shout out at the beginning of replies. An "unholy amalgam of dodgeball and baseball" - hey, works for me! Oddly violent, yes, but so, so accurate. I'm glad you think that the story is believable and I'm supremely flattered that you think the characterizations work. Regarding the obstacles - when I started, I wanted to try and write a story that wasn't overly manufactured. I wanted the characters to be good people doing the best they could with what they were given, and hopefully I've stuck to that. I don't know, I feel like we create so many of our own obstacles with the way we react to things, there didn't need to be a Big Bad or the like. Hopefully that holds true throughout the end of the story.
I like your little-lesbian-magnets observation - it certainly feels that way when I write them! I think you're right about Willow; she does panic when she has to improvise. However, that said, I also think she barrels headlong into situations without thinking about all of the consequences, thinking, well, I'm doing this for the right reason, nothing bad can happen, right? I'm thinking of some of the S3 relationship stuff, 'that's not a ball of sunshine!', a lot of the S6 magick stuff. She has a plan, but sometimes she can deviate from the plan without realizing just how much she's deviating. A little, oh it's no big deal, we're just going to dinner when everything about her is screaming I'M ON A DATE!! Does that make sense? And I agree that Tara is more than willing to wait for Willow to set the pace... but what does she do when the pace is Willow practically screaming I'M ON A DATE WITH YOU!!, you know? (Or maybe not. It makes so much sense in my head... sigh.)
I'm glad that you like Xander - he is a pretty awesome Lesbro. I love writing his conversations with Willow; it's how I always pictured their relationship being on the show circa S4/S5. And yeah, Tara finishing her paintings... She needs to have four by Thursday, and it's Friday night in the next update, and she has two to go... so... she certainly has time if she's inspired, but as we've seen, you can't push creative works if you're not able to concentrate. (I sadly speak from experience on this one.) Should be interesting. And amen about them spontaneously combusting. Thank god for dreams, I guess. Thanks so much Sass, I truly appreciate it!

pipsberg Thanks - compared to this next update the last was relatively short! I'm glad you like the introspective updates. As you know, I worry that they're overly indulgent and ultimately boring. So glad you think otherwise. Thanks re: Tara. I think that's the best part about fanfic, is that we can really explore the supporting characters, make them our leads. We all know that Tara is more than what we saw on the show, so it's a blast to get to show why we know that, you know? And thanks re: her art. I wish I could paint, so I have a lot of fun imagining how something beautiful like what I imagine her work to be is created. As I mentioned to Sass re: the feedback you quoted, totally agree; I think good people can get in their own way, and that's really the drama in this story. How can Willow come out, how can Tara figure out Willow with all their own biases, etc. clouding their view? They should be together, everyone knows it (well, almost) but there's so much fear, etc. That push and pull is the driving force of the story. (Cause I still contend there is no plot, the story is just kind of meandering along.) Thanks re: the 'RED!' - that was a lot of fun to write. I can just so clearly see Willow's brain stuck on that one word. Thanks so much, both for the very kind words and for giving me the time I need to keep this thing going. I really, really appreciate it. Love you lots too, oxxoxo

[EasierSaid]

Title: Neverland
Author: EasierSaid
Feedback: Yes, please.
Spoilers: None.
Setting: AU. There is no Hellmouth, there is no slayer and no magic of the wicca variety. Just our girls and the rest of the Buffy characters living and loving in that great city by the bay, San Francisco.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Please don't sue me Mutant Enemy.
Notes: There's a line that is slightly altered and basterdized from 'Triangle.'


Thoughts in italics

PART 57


It took Willow all of three steps away from Tara's studio before she realized what she had just done. A date. She had just asked Tara on a date. She faltered a little, nothing more than what would appear to be a slight trip to the casual observer, and wandered up the stairs with a dazed look on her face. What was she doing? Her plan, her carefully laid out plan and she's asking Tara on a date first? Because it was a date. She knew it, and from the look on the blonde's face, that teasing curl of her full, red lips...

The redhead shook her head and entered her room. No, Tara doesn't date straight girls. And she was still straight. Well not really, but Tara doesn't know that. Unless Tara does. Is it gaydar? Can she tell? Willow sat down in her office chair with a thud, a look of barely controlled panic on her face. But even if the blonde could tell, she still wouldn't date her unless she said, 'I'm gay.' The redhead knew that much, knew it from the way Tara talked about Jill yesterday. Knew it from everything Buffy had ever said about the artist.

Jill. Willow's eyes narrowed dangerously as her mind fractured off onto a tangent. Earlier in the week she had wanted to know more about how Tara's relationship developed with Jill so she could match their own pace, see if her own relationship with the blonde was developing in the same vein. However, now that she knew the details what she really wanted to do was drive up to the mountains and beat the girl to death with a really, really heavy book. Giles would have a really heavy book, the redhead internally grumbled. That anyone would treat another human like that was awful, but that someone had done it to Tara... Willow fumed.

She closed her eyes and sighed. There was too much going on in her head; she felt utterly overloaded. She was 24 hours from coming out to her mom, less than two days from coming out to Buffy and a mere five minutes past asking out the girl of her dreams on a date well before she should. Add in Jill, Tara maybe knowing that she wasn't as straight as she had always seemed to be, and a beautiful painting downstairs that seemed to feature the color of her hair... Willow squeezed her eyes tight and flapped her hands in front of her face. Okay, freaking out now.

She dropped her hands to her lap and took a calming breath. It was okay. She opened her eyes, her gaze settling on the painting Tara gave her, 'Confusing.' Yes, this is a date. I admit it, Tara might know it, it's a date. But that doesn't mean it has to change the plan. Just be casual. Dinner, maybe a hug when you get home and then straight to bed. The thought of writhing in bed with a very naked Tara scorched her mind. Alone! Straight to bed, alone! Willow exhaled, her face flush. Just keep your hands to yourself and remember how important it is to do this right.

After a couple of deep breaths, she turned her attention to her computer, and brought it to life with a tap of the keys. She moused to her email and a line formed on her brow. An email from Buffy.

'Are you still picking me up Sunday? Give me a call. I miss Willow babble.'

Guilt washed over Willow as she once again regretted how she was avoiding the petite blonde. She picked up her phone and clutched it to her chest. She should call her. One short phone call won't be the end of the world. But what if I say the wrong thing? the redhead thought, her overwrought mind supplying her with a steady stream of worst-case scenarios. I'll sound nervous, she'll wonder what's wrong. She sighed. It's only a couple more days. She keyed to an application and began to type. 'Yup, see you at airport at 11:30.' She hit send and then turned her attention to her computer, trying unsuccessfully as she moused to her work email to block out the swirling mess of nerves and confusion in her brain.

*************************************************

Tara stood in her room, a towel wrapped around her head, a robe wrapped around her body. They were dating. There was no other word for it. Dinners, coffee, a concert—they were, dating. Tara stared at her open armoire, completely floored by the realization. She was dating Willow. She was dating, Willow. Of course, she would never say it out loud in a million years, but wasn't that exactly what this was? Dinners, coffee, a concert—weren't they dating?

Curiosity itched at her mind. Does Willow know they're dating? She must, the blonde thought. Right? Marissa, Michelle, Morgan. They knew, more or less. Dawn knew. Willow must certainly know... something. And Tara was beginning to suspect that Buffy knew. The blonde sighed, her brow furrowed as she thought about her best friend. What would she say if Buffy confronted her about how much time she and Willow were spending together? About her now admittedly obvious feelings? Would Tara argue that no, Buffy's straight best friend really was gay, just because of a few looks, a few touches? Because they were, for all intents and purposes, secretly dating?

Sure, there was no kissing. No hand holding, no wondering if tonight would be the night that things went further, but there was flirting, and touches. Touches so subtle and sincere that Tara almost didn't care if they never kissed as long as Willow kept reaching out for her.

Okay, that's a little melodramatic, the blonde thought with a smirk. She most definitely did care if they kissed. She wanted Willow to kiss her as much as she had ever wanted anything before in her life. She pined for it, desired it with a fervency that she thought must be insatiable. She had imagined it so many times, the feel of the girl's lips on her own. The thought of Willow's lips on hers made her feel alive in a way that only painting had made her feel before. When she was locked in, her imagination stretching, her skill flowing. Tara shuddered. No, she definitely wanted Willow to kiss her.

So she should feel euphoric. But a part of the scenario nagged at her. The part where she wouldn't say it out loud in a million years. It made her feel secretive, hidden, like she was a dirty secret of the redhead's. She was sure Willow didn't want her to feel that way, that if the redhead knew and they were in fact dating, she would do something to change the situation, but nonetheless, it was how the blonde felt. It had been a long time since she had contemplated living in a closet. She had been out for so long, had avoided entanglements with those who weren't for years and yet, here she was, dating a girl so closeted that she was left wondering if the other girl even knew if they were dating.

A quirk appeared in her brow. But the redhead was seeing her mom tomorrow, and Buffy Sunday. Maybe... Maybe. Tara sighed and looked back up to her clothes, commanding her mind to move on. She was going to dinner with the girl she loved. A smile slipped across her face. She'd worry about everything else later. Right now, now was time to worry about clothes.

*************************************************

They decided to take the bus and leave the umbrella at home, Willow assuring Tara that according to weather.com, the break in the rain would hold until at least two in the morning. The ride was uneventful, the poor driver looking wearier than the riders, and the girls spent the time talking and laughing about nothing at all.

The walk from the bus stop to the restaurant was short, and Tara was surprised when they were seated quickly, the popular corner eatery not yet swollen to its usual limits. They were seated against a large picture window, a perfect view of the passing foot traffic on Haight. Willow took a look around as she removed her jacket and scarf, dark wood booths to the right with chalk board drink menus hanging from above, a white tile floor below. She looked out the window, people in their own worlds streaming past, hunched over from the chill in the air. She looked to the door, a few more groups coming in and she was grateful that they must have come at exactly the right time to be seated straight away.

"Your name's Tara, right?" Both girls looked quizzically at the waitress as they slid into their seats, their menus placed before them. "I'm friends with Jeannine, Rawley?"

"Oh, yeah, hi," Tara said with a instantly warm smile, recognizing the name as another artist from Marissa's series.

"I was at your show premiere," the waitress said as she righted herself and fixated on the artist. "Really powerful stuff."

"Thanks," Tara said with a light blush.

"I mean it, it was very cool." The blonde blushed further, and Willow beamed. "Can I get you ladies anything to drink or do you need some time to look over the menu?" the waitress asked, looking between the two girls.

"Water for now," the redhead said, a huge smile on her face. Tara nodded as well.

"You bet, be back in a few minutes." The waitress smiled and left.

"What?" Tara asked, confused by Willow's beaming smile across the table.

"Nothing," the redhead said casually. "Just, I've never had dinner with a famous person before."

Tara blushed again and looked down at her menu. "She's friends with one of the other artists in the show, Jeannine Rawley. She did a collection of charcoal drawings on wood panels."

"Uh huh," Willow said with a knowing smile. "Famous." The blonde looked up and shook her head, an embarrassed smile on her lips and the redhead slightly shimmied in her seat. "I can't wait to tell everyone that I knew you 'when.'"

Tara's brow lightly crinkled. "Hope you still know me, then." She half-smiled vulnerably.

"Of course," Willow said, her tone still playful. "We're going to be blue hairs playing bingo together."

"Famous artists play bingo?" Tara teased as her smile grew wider. The casual way the redhead spoke about their future friendship warmed her soul and gave her hope.

"Yup," Willow said with a nod. "Between going to art show openings and inspiring Lady Gaga wannabes."

"Sounds like a busy schedule."

"You still have plenty of time to paint and play with the grandkids," the redhead beamed.

"And play bingo," the blonde replied, her voice dripping with mirth.

"Or mah jong," Willow shrugged. "I'm not picky."

"Goof," Tara said with a shake of her head. She maintained eye contact with the redhead for a long moment and then dropped her eyes to her menu. The blonde quickly perused the contents, searching for anything new, and then looked back up at her roommate.

"This looks nice," Willow said as she looked up from her own menu, a nod of her head indicating the room around them, and Tara smiled.

"Yeah, Buffy and I used to come here for lunch every now and then when we lived in the Panhandle." She smiled. "It's um, it's really close to a lot of shoe stores. Buffy's kind of place."

The redhead's brow momentarily furrowed at the playful mention of her high school friend; she consciously pushed the nerves aside and looked up with a smile. "So, we're close to Massawa's?"

"It's a couple of blocks away," the blonde said with a nod, remembering the three of them going to dinner there three years before. Before the day in the park. Before she knew with absolute certainty that she was insanely in love with the girl who now sat across from her.

"I liked that apartment," Willow said, her voice just carrying over the restaurant's music and the other diners' conversations. A different kind of nerves washed over her. "It was great that it was so close to the park." Her fingers fiddled with the edge of the menu, the warmth in her voice nostalgic and sincere.

"Yeah," Tara said, her stomach fluttering as she remembered that short walk from her apartment to the park three years before. She smiled at the redhead and then looked back down to her menu, worried that if she maintained eye contact she'd stare or say something uncomfortable.

After a brief moment waiting for the blonde to say something, anything about that day three years before, the redhead similarly dropped her eyes to the menu. She lightly cleared her throat. "Any recommendations?"

"I um, I like the burger with Gruyère," Tara said looking up with a slight smile. She took the napkin off the table and placed it on her lap. "It's tasty and budget-friendly."

"That sounds good, actually," Willow said, doing the same with her napkin as she read the description on the menu. "Mind if I copy-cat?" she asked as she looked up.

"Not at all," the blonde said with a bright smile. The way the redhead asked, it was just adorable. "The fish and chips are good, too, though, if you're in the mood."

The redhead looked down at the menu and then pulled a face. "Mushy peas. No thanks. I think I had my fill of those when I lived in Sunnydale." She looked up and pushed her menu aside.

Tara grinned. "How is Mr. Giles?"

"Good." The redhead grinned in return, resting her forearms on the edge of the table. "Enjoying England. Well, except for the weather. Apparently it's somewhat difficult to adjust from Sunnydale, California to Rains-a-Lot, England."

"I bet it's nice," the blonde said with a wistful smile. "It sounds so exciting and exotic. Unless... you're from there..." Tara looked down and then back up. "I haven't travelled, much. But I want to."

"Me too," Willow said. "I was going to go backpacking through Europe after college, but then I got a surprisingly good job offer right before graduation and the trip just kind of got indefinitely postponed. But one day."

"W-We could go together, some day." Tara looked down shyly and a wide smile broke across Willow's face. "I mean, if you w-wanted company."

"I do," the redhead said. "That would be really fun."

Tara looked up, brightening. "We could go see, stuff." She mentally slapped herself. Stuff?!

"Stuff would be nice," Willow answered with a large smile. "I hear there is a lot of stuff in Europe," she teased. "Stuff like art."

"There is," Tara confirmed, her own smile pulling at her lips. She loved the way the redhead teased her, full of warmth and absent any malice. With anyone else she'd feel self-conscious over her verbal gaffe, but with Willow, she felt safe and happy.

"You could be my own personal art expert,"

"Oh, I don't know about that," Tara replied bashfully. "But I'd love to go to some of the museums, and the cathedrals? I've always wanted to see the old masters. I can't paint a person to save my life so I've sort of always been in awe of those that can."

She's so modest, Willow thought, amazed as she remembered a similar conversation from three years before. "I like the way you paint more." The blonde's brows shot up in surprise and the redhead continued. "I'd rather look at your paintings than some creepy old saints any day."

"Thanks," Tara said with a wide smile.

Their conversation was interrupted by the waitress swooping in quickly. "Here's your water," she said as she put the drinks down. "Would you ladies like to start with some sweetbread or salad, or do you need a few more minutes?"

"I think we're ready to order," Tara said with a quick look across the table. Willow confirmed with a short nod and soft smile.

"Okay, shoot," the waitress said, pad and pen in hand.

"I'll have the burger with Gruyère and fries," the blonde said.

"Same, please," Willow added.

"No beer? Wine? Are you sure?" The waitress said as she collected the menus.
Tara looked to the redhead questioningly.

"I'll try the Hefeweizen, why not," Willow said after a quick look at the chalkboard drink menu to her right.

"Ruby Mild," the blonde said with a smile.

"Okay," waitress said with an authentic smile. She turned and disappeared.

The redhead took a peak out the window and watched a heavily bundled up woman walk by, followed by a heavily tattooed man wearing a tank top. She shook her head. Always something different to see in the Haight.

"You know, it's funny," Tara started, bringing Willow's attention back from the world outside. "When you told me you were going to be working from home I thought I'd barely see you."

"Too much?" The redhead replied nervously.

"No," Tara chuckled, shaking her head. "Just right." She looked up and smiled, and Willow felt her heart turn to goo.

"Okay, good," the redhead said with a relieved smile. "I worried that I'd be in your way."

"I don't think that's possible," Tara said bashfully. She lightly blushed and Willow sighed. This was heaven.

They smiled at each other nervously and Willow nodded her head to the door. "I think we came at just the right time, it's starting to get busy."

Tara swiveled in her chair a bit to take in the forming crowd before returning her gaze to the redhead. "We're lucky."

A wide smile blossomed on Willow's face. "Definitely lucky."

The blonde's brow quirked slightly and she smiled, her heart beating fast in her chest at the way Willow's green eyes sparkled. The redhead smiled in return, unable to look away, entirely mindful of the fact that they were seconds away from being accused of staring at each other. This isn't helping with the whole, sticking-to-the-plan, plan.

They looked away, self-conscious, as the waitress returned and carefully placed the beers on the table.

"Thanks," Willow said as she took the drink and moved it to the other side of the table, out of the way of where the food would eventually go, her face burning from the earlier interaction with the blonde.

"Thank you," Tara said with a smile and the redhead's heart did a little dance at hearing the blonde's sincere kindness.

"No problem," the waitress said with a warm smile before hurriedly disappearing.

"Do you want to try?" The redhead asked as she held up her glass.

"Sure," Tara said. She reached across the table and took the glass. She lightly placed her mouth on the edge and took a slow drink, licking a light layer of foam from her lips as she finished. Willow tried not to stare, but the sensuous sight lingered in her mind, like sparkles after staring at the sun for too long. After a long moment she cleared her throat and looked away, bringing the handed beer back to her side of the table.

"Good?" She nervously asked before taking her own sip. The cold liquid coated her dry throat, and she was thankful for the distraction.

"Yeah," Tara replied, her face flush from the intense look Willow had given her. The blonde held her own drink up wordlessly and the redhead reached across the table, their fingers brushing lightly as she took the pint glass. Willow took a sip and handed it back while nodding her head.

"That's good."

The blonde nodded in agreement. "I'm boring, I always get the same drink." She dipped her head demurely as she placed the pint glass on the table.

"Not boring," Willow said with a shake of her head. "I do the same thing. When I lived in Boston I always got the double chocolate cake donut and a medium mocha at Dunkins. Well, unless it was fall, then I'd get the double chocolate cake and medium spice mocha."

"Do you miss it?"

"A little bit, but Starbucks is good, too."

"I meant, Boston," Tara said with a slight smile.

The redhead smiled brightly. "I know."

The blonde lightly chuckled. "Ha ha."

Willow shrugged. "I miss it a little. I mean, I lived there for six years, sort of hard to not have at least some good memories built up, you know?" Tara nodded. "I don't miss the snow," the redhead said with a smile. "I never really got used to that. I mean, at first it was pretty, all, falling from the sky like a Christmas cartoon. But then it just gets slushy and dirty, and while I do love my mittens, they were hard to keep track of."

"You need the string," Tara said with a bright smile.

"I had the string!" Willow exclaimed, her hands tugging opposite ends of an imaginary string in front of her. "But then I would lose two mittens instead of one." The blonde shook her head with a smile and the redhead continued. "But most of my friends have moved. I mean, Bryan's in New York and Amanda's in Atlanta. I don't know, I guess, what I miss the most is the familiarity."

"How do you mean?" Tara asked, taking a sip of her beer.

"I had favorites," Willow explained, her fingertip tracing the embossed logo on the side of her pint glass. "I mean, I had places like this, burgers with Gruyère."

"Yeah," the blonde said with a slight head nod.

"As you know, I've kind of been a hermit since I've moved here," the redhead said honestly. "Not to say I was like, Ms. Social Butterfly person in Boston, but you know, it was nice. Knowing my way around, where to go."

"You'll get that here," Tara said. "I mean, you've only been here for three months."

"You're right," Willow said. "I know. And I'm already starting to. I mean, I like the bagels and coffee at Katz. And I think I liked that Thai place we went to well enough to go again."

"See," the blonde said. "In no time you'll be taking me places and I'll be copy-catting you."

Willow smiled bashfully. "That would be nice. I mean the, you-and-me-going-places, part." Tara blushed. She's so beautiful, the redhead thought, her heart straining in her chest. "You know, Tara–"

"Burger with Gruyère and fries," the waitress said as she stepped close, putting a plate in front of Willow. "And burger with Gruyère and fries," she repeated as she put a plate in front of Tara.

"Thanks," each girl said, and the waitress wiped her hands across her apron.

"Do you need anything else? Extra napkins?" The girls looked to each other and then shook their heads. "Awesome," the waitress said. "Tara," she continued, turning her attention solely to the artist.

"Yeah?" The blonde said looking up, surprised to hear her name.

"I wasn't going to ask, and this is probably going to seem like a really strange question, but do you know Morgan Novick?"

"Yeah," Tara said slowly, a quick glance over to Willow who watched the waitress with marked interest.

"Do you know, is she seeing anyone?" The waitress asked hopefully.

"Nope!"

Tara turned her head slowly to face the redhead, the blonde's brows raised in surprise at her roommate's giddy outburst.

"Sorry," Willow said contritely, picking up her beer and taking a sip, her eyes wide.

"Um," the blonde double-taked a look of confused surprise at the redhead and then looked back to the waitress. "I um, I d-don't think she is."

"Excellent, thanks," the waitress replied with a cat-ate-the-canary grin. She left and Tara slowly turned back to Willow.

"Sorry," the redhead said nervously. "She wasn't even asking me, and 'nope,' that was a bit presumptuous. I mean, maybe she is seeing someone. Not to say that she was seeing someone when she was trying to see you, not at all, but it's been a couple of days and from what I heard that might be something she would do. Not that I've heard much, or anything, really, other than at the party when Cass said she was a sex machine, though maybe she just really likes the song, it's a popular song, and not necessarily that she's easy or that she dates anything with boobs and legs, and I guess what I'm trying to say is really not much of anything at all and how is your dinner?" Willow stopped speaking and pressed her lips together tightly, her slim fingers picking anxiously at the edge of the napkin in her lap.

"I um, I haven't tried it yet," Tara said slowly, as in awe of the redhead's ability to babble as she was shocked by the unexpected subject matter.

"Oh, right," Willow said, exhaling nervously. "Cause it just got here." She looked down and then back up. "It looks yummy."

Tara dropped her eyes. "You um, you don't like Morgan." The words were out of her mouth before she knew she said them, and hearing them out loud made her brow crinkle in confusion. She glanced up and evaluated the guilty look on Willow's face, and a perverse sense of pride washed over the blonde. Willow didn't despise Morgan; Willow was jealous. The blonde blinked owlishly as the concept sunk in, and she thought with detached amusement how dizzy she suddenly felt.

"No, no that's not–" Willow blushed and winced. She was being ungenerous and unkind. Morgan was nice, had always been nice to her and was well-liked by people she herself liked. Like, Tara, for instance. The brunette had never done anything to her other than try and date the woman the redhead was secretly in love with. That explosion of inner thought process was jealous and petty and Willow knew it. "She's nice," she started carefully, regret at her words writ large on her face. "A-And I don't usually gossip, especially repeating things that are kind of mean and/or superficially complimentary in a frat house guy kind of way so would it be okay if we just talked about something else?" She puffed out the last few words, her face open and hopeful.

"Okay," Tara said with a simple, sympathetic nod of the head.

"I'm sorry," Willow said, wincing again as she felt the blonde's eyes on her. "That was just, and I'm just," she exhaled. "I'm really embarrassed," she said softly.

"You don't have to be embarrassed." Tara's brow furrowed and she leaned forward to try and catch the redhead's eye. When Willow's gaze remained averted, the blonde lightly sighed, her shoulders falling. It hurt her to see the redhead so contrite and awkward. Whatever she was going through... "I um, I unders-stand."

"You, do?" Willow asked nervously as she met the blonde's eye, a hopeful look on the redhead's face.

Tara nodded. She could say something. Be brave, maybe even be brave for both of them. The words pushed at her lips as fear rose in her throat. She could just ask. Ask Willow if there was anything, anything at all, she wanted to talk about that was bothering her. Because something was definitely bothering her. It was plain as day and the blonde felt monumentally stupid for missing it for so long. Or, or she could just try and change the mood. She met the redhead's eye and the fear overwhelmed her. She wasn't ready, and she internally cursed herself for it. She dipped her head. "You're actually not the first person to um, imply..." She looked up and forced a small, teasing smile to her lips. "Anya pretty much said the same thing. About Morgan. A-And the sex machine."

"I sound like Anya?" Willow said, her face a mask of disgust.

"N-No, I just." Tara stopped, surprised by the reaction her teasing words had elicited. The redhead looked horrified. N-Not what I intended! She sighed, slightly defeated. "How's your dinner?"

A small smile crept across Willow's face. "I haven't tried it yet."

"W-We should probably try them, then."

The redhead nodded gratefully and picked up a french fry. Tara did the same and each took a bite. The blonde smiled softly, Willow following suit and they started their dinners in earnest in comfortable silence.

About five minutes past before the first word was spoken. "So how is it?" Tara asked, smiling softly as she watched the redhead finish chewing.

"Very good, thank you," Willow said with a smile. She took a sip of beer and placed the glass back onto the table. "It was a great recommendation." Tara lightly blushed. "You? Good?"

"Yes, very good," the blonde replied. Willow smiled and took another bite. She hadn't thought herself hungry as they entered the restaurant, but now that she was eating, she found herself on the polite side of ravenous. Clearing her plate was a distinct possibility.

They went back to eating, an odd word here or there about a person passing by on the street or the music playing in the restaurant. It was companionable and comforting, and they savored the shared ability to be together in silence.

The blonde finally pushed her plate away, a few stray french fries littering the plate, her beer three-fourths of the way done. She glanced up at the redhead polishing off her last bite of food and softly smiled. After a long moment, she spoke.

"Can I ask you a question?" Tara asked, her eyes darting to her hands in her lap and then back up.

"Of course," Willow said, returning her napkin to her lap and taking a pull from her beer.

"In my studio," the blonde started, her voice open and earnest, "you said the painting was like 'Fillmore,' only... what?" It was a question that had been knocking around in her head since Willow said the words, and something about the way the redhead looked at her from across the table made Tara feel safe in asking for an answer.

"Oh, uh," Willow looked away as she refilled her water glass from the carafe on the table. "It's like 'Fillmore,' only, red," she said simply as she returned her gaze to the artist.

"Yeah," Tara said with a self-conscious nod, her breath unexpectedly taken away with the redhead's observation. She knows.

The redhead nodded to the blonde's glass and Tara nodded in agreement; wordlessly Willow refilled the blonde's water. She set the almost empty carafe down and the sounds of the bustling restaurant filled the spaces around them. There was a long pause. "I like it," Willow finally said, her eyes downcast, her fingers carefully tracing the grain of the dark wood table top.

"Yeah?" Tara asked, holding her breath.

Don't spaz, or gush, just sound smart. The redhead nodded and looked up. "It's a really neat contrast with the purple and yellow."

"Yeah," Tara said with a slight head bob as she lightly exhaled. Say something other that 'yeah!' "I um, I wasn't sure it was going to work, but–"

"It works," Willow nodded, blushing lightly at her emphatic interruption. "It really works," she repeated, her voice softening. Tara brightly smiled. "I bet it sells the first night," the redhead added with a smile, her eye meeting the blonde's.

"Yeah," Tara trailed off. For the first time she realized she didn't want to sell it. Especially with Willow's reaction. A small bit of sadness wedged into her heart.

"You okay?" Willow asked. She's probably worried about the deadline. Quick! "Tara. I know you're going to finish."

The blonde's brow quirked before she realized what the redhead was saying. "Oh, I know," she said with an easy smile. "I mean, I hope so."

"And your paintings are gonna do great. I mean, you sold out the show here, I bet you do just as great in L.A."

"Thanks," the blonde said, sheepishly.

"You have nothing to worry about," Willow added, her eyes encouraging. Tara nodded, not trusting her voice in that moment.

The waiter returned, and with a few pleasantries, cleared the plates and left the bill. After a brief discussion, Tara agreed to let Willow treat, the redhead arguing that they were celebrating the blonde's recent headway. The blonde joked that she couldn't wait to see what Willow had planned for when she finished, and the redhead blushed, much to Tara's delight.

Willow took her last sip of beer and glanced up at the blonde. It's now or never... "So, I was wondering if I could ask you a question now. It's about painting," the redhead said nervously.

"Of course," the blonde replied, her words unintentionally mimicking the redhead's early reply to her similar inquiry.

"What was the inspiration behind 'Neon Choir'?" Tara blushed lightly. "I mean, if it's okay to ask."

"Wednesday night," Tara said simply, taking a sip of water. "Just, the combination of the band and The Fillmore..." The company, she thought. "It felt like I had a snapshot in my brain that needed to be developed."

Willow nodded her head, her hands wrapped around her water glass. "Why the title?" She averted her gaze self-consciously.

Tara ran the tip of her index finger through the remaining condensation on her water glass. "I really like that song, from the CD; the phrase, 'neon choir'... It just sounds so, electric and spiritual. Like, really good music, how it sort of hums around you when it's loud, like at a show?" She blushed. "That sounds really stupid."

"No," Willow said shaking her head, her gaze meeting the blonde's. "I know what you mean. It feels like that for me, too."

"Yeah?" Tara asked, cocking her head to the side. "The show was just, powerful." The whole night. "The painting, it just felt like it needed a powerful title."

"I love Elbow," the redhead said. Off the blonde's perplexed look, she continued. "Elbow, is the band; the song is 'Switching Off'," Willow said helpfully. "I really like them, that band. They're almost my favorite. They have another song that I really love called 'Bones of You'."

"Yeah?" Tara asked. She loved hearing Willow talk about music, loved how passionate and engaged she became.

"Yeah, it's about this all-business businessman who's walking down the street and he hears this song from a shop," she said, her eyes dancing with joy. "And it just, takes him to another place and time in his life, when he was in love with this girl thre– five," Willow slightly sputtered, correcting her slip. "Five years before. Just, the idea that music can make you experience memories like they're happening all over again, even make you feel emotions that you thought you were over. I can totally relate."

Tara nodded. "I feel like that when I hear Fleetwood Mac. They remind me of my mom, being a little kid."

I remember, Willow thought, a soft smile on her face.

There was a long pause. Tara looked up and decided to try brave. "What does the song remind you of, the one from the CD? 'Switching Off'...?"

"Oh, uh." Willow paused. She looked up and saw the open look on Tara's face. The night after the park. She felt the truth push at her lips. "This, really, really great night." A light blush stole across her face.

"Must have been some night," Tara said with a half smile. When she caught the question in Willow's eyes, she softly teased, "You're blushing."

"Oh," Willow replied, her fingers absently touching her face as her head dipped and the blush intensified.

Tara immediately frowned as Willow's eyes remained averted. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean–"

"It was," Willow interjected simply as she looked up and met Tara's gaze. "It was the best night," she added.

Tara nodded, the honesty and tenderness in the redhead's tone striking her mute. Willow's words immediately replayed in the blonde's head and she swore she heard yearning. Is she yearning for me? Her heart skipped a beat. Tara looked down at the table and pushed her empty beer glass toward her water. "A-Are all the songs like that?" She asked, looking up and making eye contact. "On the CD, do all of them, mean, as much?"

Willow nodded. "Some more than others, but, yeah. I mean, I hear them and they just take me to another place. Hence the 'Real Me' title," she said with a warm smile. "It's like, a little journey through my diary," she admitted bashfully.

"Sounds intense," Tara said, her mind racing, her heart pounding in her chest.

"I guess so," Willow agreed with a nod. "I realize I'm sounding a little dramatic," she said dipping her head bashfully. "Kinda emo-ish."

"Not at all," Tara reassured. "And intense doesn't have to be bad. Sometimes intense can be good."

"That's how I mean it," the redhead said, relieved the blonde understood. "It's intense, in a good way. Mostly," she added, a bright smile on her lips.

"Only mostly?" the blonde softly nudged.

Willow shrugged and softly cleared her throat. "But you like the music?"

Tara gently sat back in her chair, the subject change surprising her, but she went with it. "I do. A lot."

"That's so cool," the redhead said, very aware that she had just avoided the artist's question. It was just too loaded, the honest answers too much for this moment. Stick to the plan, Willow thought. She looked up at the blonde. "I was worried that you wouldn't. Like most of the songs, I mean."

"I like them," the blonde assured. "Even love a couple. Thank you, again, for making it."

"No problem," the redhead replied proudly.

Tara relaxed again, leaning forward, her forearms on the edge of the table. "So, you said that Elbow is 'almost' your favorite band. Who's your favorite?"

Willow smiled brightly. She hesitated briefly before answering. "Have you listened to the whole CD?"

"Not quite," Tara said with a soft shake of her head.

"The last song is by my favorite band," the redhead said.

A wide half-smile broke across Tara's face. "Cryptic."

Willow tried to rein in her own large smile and she softly shrugged her shoulders. "It's not for everyone. Better you hear it first instead of having me try to explain."

"Now I'm very curious," Tara said, her tone flirty. "I sort of want to, run home and listen to it."

"I have it on my phone," the redhead teasingly offered, as she lightly fingered the device in her pocket.

"Tempting, but I'll wait." The blonde paused, her tone more serious as she continued. "I can be patient."

Willow's heart fluttered and her mouth went dry at the profoundly earnest look on Tara's face. The redhead opened her mouth to speak, and finding nothing forthcoming, simply settled on an earth-shattering smile.

*************************************************

"Thanks again for inviting me to dinner." Tara smiled widely at her walking companion as they strolled slowly up the street toward their home. She was toasty despite the chill in the air, the beer and love warming her bones. She took a deep breath, thankful for the break in the rain. The air smelled fresh from the low-sitting fog and the buildings around them glistened from its touch.

"Thanks again for going with me," the redhead replied, her smile equally goofy and sincere. There was a pause, the sound of their feet on the concrete echoing up around them. "We should go to the Beach Chalet next week."

Tara sputtered slightly. "That w-would be nice." She ventured a quick look to her left, her heart racing.

Willow stared intently at the street before her, too nervous to meet her roommate's eye. "I haven't been back since that night we went together." Nerves fluttered through her bloodstream and she once again wondered what in the hell it was, exactly, that she was doing.

"M-Me neither," Tara said. "I mean, to eat, I haven't."

The redhead couldn't help but smile. "So the art's still there?" she said, doubts about her behavior disappearing in a memory.

The blonde lightly blushed. "I wrote a paper my senior year on the WPA art at the Chalet and Coit Tower."

Willow nodded, her goofy smile returned. "I think it would be fun to go back."

"It would," Tara agreed. She looked up and met Willow's eye and they chuckled, nervously.

They continued their walk, the agreement to go at some nebulous date in the future enough, the fog streaming past them low and thick. The front of their jackets took on droplets of moisture, and their cheeks felt damp. Willow stuck out her hand and let the moisture slip through and coat her fingers. She looked at her hand and then spoke. "We should go up on the roof when we get home and look at the fog."

Tara double-taked and smiled. She let the redhead's words hang between them for a moment before she spoke. "You want to go on the roof and look at the fog?" she repeated, her voice disbelieving and teasing.

"Yeah," Willow replied cheerfully.

"It's... fog," the blonde said, looking around them and then back to her roommate. "It'll be here tomorrow... And most like the day after that, and the day after that, and the–"

"Yeah, but tonight it's all thick and swirly," the redhead interrupted. "Look, my hand's all wet."

Both girls blushed, and they looked away, suddenly finding the street and buildings around them very interesting. They walked in silence for a minute before Tara spoke. "Okay, I'm in."

"In?"

"For fog-gazing," the blonde said with an amused smile.

"Really?" Willow asked, her tone giddy.

"Really," Tara replied, her tone warm despite the knowledge that what they were talking about doing was infinitely silly.

"Oh, we can have blankets and hot chocolate!" The redhead bounced up and down happily and Tara laughed.

"Or, hot cider," she replied. Willow's brow quirked and the blonde dipped her head. "I um, I r-remembered you liked it and bought some at Trader Joe's Sunday."

The redhead smiled wide, her lips pressed together, happiness shining through. "That's..." She trailed off, words failing her. Tara half-smiled and ducked her head. Willow lightly cleared her throat. "I have a sleeping bag; we can spread it out and lay on it. Oh, and pillows, I can bring a couple up so our heads are soft and cozy."

"Sounds good," the blonde said. She looked over at her roommate and a snippet of something undefined flashed through Tara's mind. She concentrated for a moment, the thought quickly solidifying, and she felt her creativity spark. She blinked once, then twice, realizing with a flicker of excitement just exactly what was going on. "I um, I'm going to need an hour or so before we go up, is that okay?"

"Sure," Willow replied, trying to rein her excitement in. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," the blonde replied with a head bob, her mind quickly working to sharpen and save the image in her head. "It's just, I sort of have an idea and I want to try and see if I can paint it."

"That's great," the redhead replied, before the reality of Tara's words sunk in. "But, are you sure you want to do the whole roof thing then? I mean, if you have an idea–"

"No, I do, I do want to do the roof thing," Tara insisted, her whole attention returning to her roommate. "And it's not a big deal at all," she said modestly. "I don't even know if this idea will work."

"It will," Willow encouraged.

The blonde smiled shyly. "I already have something from earlier today, so it's less, starting from scratch and more, adding highlights."

"Highlights are good," Willow said. Her brow crinkled. "But if you need to work–"

"It won't take long, I promise," Tara replied. Nothing was going to keep her from laying on the roof next to Willow in the near dark. Nothing.

"Cool," the redhead said with a smile, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "If you want I can get everything together and then just sort of hang out. I was so super busy today that I didn't get to fit in my requisite web browsing and general goofing off."

"Okay," Tara replied as they came to their street-level door.

"Any requests?" The redhead asked as she fished in her coat pocket for the keys. "For our fog gazing picnic?" She felt happy just saying the words.

"Hmm," the blonde thought as she watched the girl she loved next to her. "Maybe one of the wool blankets from the trunk? It's kind of chilly."

"Trunk blanket. Check." Willow grinned and unlocked the door. They took the stairs in silence, the redhead unlocking the second door then shutting it and locking it behind them. "So, I'll get everything together, you work. Deal?"

"Deal," Tara said, unbottoning her jacket with a genuine smile.

"Only thing I need is to know where the hot cider mix is."

"With the tea," Tara grinned.

"Thanks," Willow said. She took off her own jacket and smiled. "So, come get me upstairs when you're done?" She rocked back and forth on her feet.

"Yes," Tara replied, hanging her coat on the secretary desk chair. She walked toward her studio quickly, throwing a quick look over her shoulder at Willow.

The redhead watched her leave then moved to the kitchen where she started preparing a thermos full of hot cider. She smiled to herself, and sighed.

[Mrs. Pineapple]

Dibs! brb

[Mrs. Pineapple]

Okay, so here I am again.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! I swear my stomach was fluttering the entire time I read this. Their interactions, the honesty... And hey! We had some more clueage about that famous day in the park.
A really long update, too. All in all this made me very happy!

It was cool to hear about Giles. I don't think you metioned him before in the story, but now I believe all scooby-charachters are accounted for

A big yay for Tara getting inspired again. And a double big yay for their roof-date! I loved that scene in the show. And although it'll be a little bit different, with the big city and the fog and such, I believe they have everyting to make it a memorable evening...

I just hope Willow won't regret anything, what with her schedule and all...

I applaud you for updating more regularly. Maybe we'll end up just as in the beginning, 3 updates each day . Just kidding, I know you're busy, but you're doing a great job!

[BuffyFan4ever]

Great Update. Loved the date. I love that Tara "knows" that Willow is gay and Willow "knows" Tara is interested (neither is 100% sure, but both see the signs). It will be easier for them to become a couple once Willow tells everyone else.

Can't wait for date part 2 on the rooftop. Will they have the star discussion? Or has that already happened. I don't remember.

Yea for quicker updates. Will you keep it at least once a week?

[Zampsa1975]

Yay for excellent update-y goodness... Wow! That was one great date... Big yay for Tara figuring out that Willow most likely is gay and Willow figuring out that Tara likes her... Can't wait for their fog-watching-date. I truly hope that the fog-watching leads to some serious hand-holding and flirting and maybe even some naughty touching...

[SylverMaki]

Heather!!! Woowwww! WOOOOO! YAY!!!!!! The date was so so so so so perfect. I definitely can't wait for more soon. Also yay for Giles being mentioned, I saw his name and I was like hey Giles, woo Giles. I'm sure they will all be at their wedding. You plan on doing a wedding or something right? I'm excited at all the joy that has been happening as of late and I can't wait to hear more about that perfect night for them both at the park. PWAEESEE??!!

[lonelylanding]

Woot! update-y goodness! XD I really liked that Willow was answered the waitress's question about Morgan's availbility. I hope that Tara listens to the last song on the CD while she is painting before they go cloud watching. I'm really curious if listening to the song will change anything between them. Can't wait for the update!

oh and btw you have great taste in music

[Bellalocke]

It's been a while since I posted feedback, and that is mostly due to the fact that this fic is so epic, I never know what to say or how to reply. In light of all this, the past few chapters that you've written certainly deserve attention and love

I find myself to be a lot more patient with the progression of the storyline now that Willow and Tara finally have a clue... or at least what they believe is a clue. Another thing that I love is the fact that instead of just doing the predictible and writing the story out in a way that Willow sticks to plan and the tension keeps mounting, you throw in these interesting little detours. Thinking about it, these 'detours' are absolutely essential and they really give me hope. Suffice it to say, I feel like I am watching two comets spiraling towards eachother in slow motion... it's breath taking, frustrating, and powerful all at the same time. Eventually, when Willow and Tara finally collide, it will be beautiful and powerful, and boy do I feel sorry for their neighbors.

Keep up the wonderful work, and if you find that you can update more than once a month, that would be so very awesome, and if not, all of us will still love you. Thanks for keeping up with this story for all these years.

[wayland]

Hi Easiersaid,

Wow, can’t believe you updated so quickly. I was still thinking about my feedback for the last installment. I was so glad you wove in the music and the painting again. I realized I‘d missed that, it’s such a distinctive feature of Neverland. I love the little details, the light switch and Tara’s routine, painting fog. You add layer upon layer to create people so real it’s a surprise when I turn off the computer and realise that they’re not actually out there, walking home through the fog.

Speaking of little details, I thought the green-eyes painting was in Willow’s room. Probably I misunderstood. I’m used to rereading your updates for weeks, (or months) before contemplating offering feedback, so this is a bit rushed. Not complaining though, definitely not.

I love the way you portray angst so much that I wondered if I’d like the happy ending as it begins to unroll. Shouldn’t have worried. The way you’ve written the date is wonderful and completely engaging. Isn’t it strange how a subtle alteration in phrasing, "Will you have dinner with me tonight?" turns an invitation to a friend to eat together into something so much more significant?

I loved ‘I can be patient.’ They’re speaking in code but we’re in the delicious position of knowing the key.

I didn’t expect you to take the story in this direction, not in all the times I imagined the ending of Neverland, (and I’ve done that a lot.) I’m fascinated to see where you go next. I keep expecting Tara to be hit with a ton of remorse, now she almost believes that Willow loves her. Especially when she reflects on what an excruciating evening she put her through at Morgan’s. And now Willow has got herself into a right pickle, vis-a-vis her time table. Still plenty of bumps on the road.

Neverland is a joy, thank you.

Clare