Episode 7.1 - "Bobby" : A Spoof

[The Big I T]

Hey snipp! Nice timing...did you know that today is Canadian Thanksgiving? Not that I'm celebrating or anything, since I have a really hard time adjusting to the idea of Thanksgiving falling before Halloween. It's the whole cycle-of-life pumpkin-wise thing that throws me. Although I certainly don't mind the long weekend that goes along with it.



Or was it just the whole parallel between Xander and turkey that inspired you? (Personally, my first thoughts were that you were going to somehow manage to insert he-who-is-swooned-over-by-Tulipp. But then not. Loved the XanMan's "response" to tap-dancing Angel, though. *snerk* And the "Emmy" crack. *snerk* *snerk*



Ooh -- and Dawn's Thanksgiving play. Crack me up with the whole PC twist. God Bless, indeed. That's an evil sense of humor you have, snipp. I like it.



But this...

Quote:

---

Lesbians are irrational, using all their common sense on their shoes.

---

Now see, this just worries me. Cuz I have *no* common sense when it comes to shoes. If they're orange, I buy them.



And you are going to keep Joss where he belongs, aren't you? And what about Marti? Nothing's safe if she's still running around "free"...



I missed you snipp...

********

"How 'bout them Broncos..." -- Riley, saying something useful, in The Initiative

[kbk3022]

Good update. Like the title. Like the Dear Lord joke.



Kasey

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You should come around here on Halloween,
you'd really see something then...
we all jump off the roof and fly."

[mollyig]

No one presses the issue further because, well, to be perfectly honest, none of the other Scoobies really care what happens in Xander’s life. This earned the evil Molly cackle! As did "Hand check!"



The prize snigger though went to the Judge's decision. Heh, shock therapy!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[TromDeGrey]

"Hand check!" I started laughing so hard I scared the dog!!! OH, Oh, oh!! My sides hurt!! Snippy, that was totally brilliant!!

"The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love,which includes not only others but ourselves as well." -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

[snippygal]

I T - I’m glad somebody appreciates my evil sense of humor. Most people just kinda shrink away from me then point and laugh to their friends. It’s a sad, sad thing, I tell ya.



The shoes - well, it’s a well-known fact that we tend to enjoy the “sensible” shoes. And I generally fall into that category, except that I’m so obsessed with sneakers that I will become the straight girl and wear them even if they are taking off the top layer of the skin on my feet.



As far as your little problem with the orange fetish goes - you’re on your own, kid. Who are you, Billy Bob Thornton?



Ask me no questions about future eps. All will be revealed soon. Or later. Whatever.



kbk3022 - Glad you liked. The damn song has been swirling around in my head all day long and I have no idea how it even got there in the first place to give me the title.



mollyig - I’ve reached “Evil Molly Cackle” status? I have arrived. I can stop writing this silly thing and die happy.



TromDeGrey - Brilliant? I mean, don't you think that's taking things a little too far -- okay. Brilliant. So you scared your dog, huh? And here I was just going for frightening little children. Ah, the look on their faces when they are about to wet their pants. It's truly pricely. *Looks around* What?



Glad you all enjoyed, or at least have so much free time on your hands you we so bored you just decided to make stuff up. Either way, it sure makes me feel a whole lot better about myself.



Snipp

--------------------------

A cool red rose and a pink cut pink, a collapse and a sold hole, a little less hot.

[TromDeGrey]

Anything for your self-esteem, snipp.

"The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love,which includes not only others but ourselves as well." -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

[areslei]

LMAO! Terrific update, snipp! Hand check was hilarious. For some reason it reminds me of something we did at ROTC competitions called a boob check. Anyway....and xander..hee hee! What a yutz. The whole dinner scene. Very funny. Also the exchange w/ Xander and Angel. Janice being home-schooled now...



One last thought...Joss is such an idiot. Of course, we all already knew that...

you two are the two who are the two
Baby, I said it's all in our hands, got to learn to respect what we don't understand.. Indigo Girls
Now I'm trying to get back to what I know that I should be hoping to God I was just a temporary absentee

[snippygal]

TromDeGrey - And it's risen two points since you've joined our sick little world. Thanks!



areslei - Mmm ... Boob check ... I always knew I shoulda signed up for ROTC. You should be a recruiter. Are you a recruiter? Because that would make one hell of a pitch. Just say "boobs" ... Christ, where was I going with this? Oh yes. I'm so happy to have made you laugh. That's what I'm here for. Joss really just writes himself, ya know. Some stuff you just can't make up. Unfortunately.



---------------------

A cool red rose and a pink cut pink, a collapse and a sold hole, a little less hot.

[kbk3022]

Hey snipp, I just thought I would let you know that the song "Changes" has been in my head for most of the day now, well that and "Walk Like an Egyptian" which I have no idea where that came from.



Kasey

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You should come around here on Halloween,
you'd really see something then...
we all jump off the roof and fly."

[barnabasvamp]

I could't stop laughing at this one

Xand and Angel,He..He OMG

Quote:

---

Just once I'd like to play the innocent Island girl, lost and alone, confused and willing to please ... ahem.

---

Mmmm "visuals"

BV

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

[Anne860]

So, is Joss going to end up in the High Risk Observation Wing? Maybe in a room next to David E. Kelley's? What about Martin, er, Marti? Will she end up in there with him, talking to her imaginary boyfriend Spike? And will Xander finally admit to his undying love for his favorite Dead Boy, um, Girl? Do you know that you have a very strange mind? And that we love you for it?



Just wondering.



Seriously, this story is hysterical. It's very Pratchettesque (is that a word?) in it's asides and meanderings. Keep up the good work.

Edited by: Anne860 at: 10/14/02 5:38:30 am

[Tulipp]

Well, happy Canadian Thanksgiving, Snipp and Big IT. Sorry I'm a day late.



Well, I happened to notice that certain people aren't getting mentioned anymore in this story, and that's okay because I've actually been cured now and everything. I even put my strappy high heels back in the closet and put on some sensible shoes again, so that should show you how serious I am. Let's all notice who's the only person left with that guy in her sig, ok? Coz it ain't me.



Anyhoo, Snipp, I was LMAO during this chapter, at everything--hand check, little timber, pc play, home schooling, insane Joss--but this was my favorite:

Quote:

---

As if being in synch with the narrator, Willow starts thinking about Anya and how she does like her...

---

Whole new level! Meta-narrative and self-reflexivity! Cool! It's practically like reading War and Peace now, only funny!

***************

"Run, flee, maybe skedadlle. We're not here to engage. This is strictly recon." Willow, on season seven, in "This Year's Girl"

[Centauri2002]

Whoo hoo, an update! *doea a happy dance*



That was sooo funny, as usual. It's hilarious how Buffy has caught on to the whole Janice thing. How dim can the girl be? And then, the Spike thing. Heh. But the funniest parts are with Xander, and Willow and Tara of course.



"I missed your brain, and other squishy parts" lmao, sorry, that was so damn funny!



I could go on about the other great parts but I'd probably be here all day. Can't wait for the update.



Caz

Tara: I got so lost
Willow: I found you... I will always find you

[The Big I T]

Snipp, this Billy Bob Thornton guy...is he a Broncos fan, too?



And hey, my orange shoes are *all* sneakers. Does that mean anything to you?



And as for you Tulipp, I've taken care of that little sig problem you mentioned regarding a certain unmentionable someone. See below...

********

"How 'bout them Broncos..." -- some guy, saying something useful, in The Initiative

[snippygal]

kbk3022 - You said that just to get “Walk Like an Egyptian” into my head, didn’t you? All right, you’ve won this round, Kasey. But sleep with one eye open. And walk like an ... ugh.



barnabasvamp - There seems to be a lot of positive feedback on Xander and Angel. It’s nice that those two kids have so many people pulling for them. I know I'D like for them to run away together, never to return. Ever.



I have come to find out my big sister is now checking up on my fics (seems she needs a good laugh here and there and apparently this is the story to do it. Who knew?) So no more Island girl (plus I get that song stuck in my head too). Nope, from now on I’m just an upstanding, shy, bookish type with glasses falling off the end of my nose, spending all my time in a library, away from society until another strong silent type with a sword (I don’t know why a sword, keeps it kinky) comes in and swoops me up and we escape to the Isle of Lesb... Hmm. I need a new hobby.



Anne860 - Thank you. I’ve never been “esque” before. I’ve always gone for it, but it never worked out. I’ve always been more ist, or osis, or sorta-kinda-like. I appreciate the esque and will do everything I can to keep my title.



And you do realize I will answer none of your questions, right? The element of surprise is a wonderful thing and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. BOO! See that? You weren’t expecting that were you? I think I’ve proven my point.



Tulipp - Comfy in your shoes? Good, good. Glad to have you back.



I figured you would be just geeky enough to appreciate this next level. A-and I mean that in a good way. Honestly, I’ve messed with reality so much with this I can’t even keep things straight (ha ha - straight, with the ... and I’m ... sigh. I have to stop thinking that’s funny).



I thought War and Peace was hilarious. But I guess that’s just me.



Centauri2002 - *sidles up and joins happy dance ... then apologizes for dancing* Please go on and on. I won’t mind. All right, I’ll do it for you -- what about that time when Buffy did that thing and then Willow gave her that look. That was great. I’m a freakin’ genius, ya know? Whew! Good stuff! Hey - let’s dance again, eh?



I T - As long as they're comfortable sneakers, you're good to go. The ugly factor, that just reinforces it. Wait ... did I say ugly? I didn't mean ... orange is a great color. Especially for feet.

I don't know if Billy Bob is a Broncos fan. I myself don't really follow the volleyball.



A side note to everyone:



Happy belated Canadian Thanksgiving. And while I'm here, I would like to show my respect to our neighbor (except to you Canadian kitties who just call it, well, home ... and except to those other kitties who don't live in North America who just call it -- I don't know - they probably just call it Canada). Here's to Canada: (holds a glass of Moose Drool high) your drinking laws are accommodating to young college students looking for a weekend of fun and irresponsible alcohol poisoning goodness. And if a person locks her keys in her trunk at the border, you just smile and laugh (but not in that condescending way) and will spend 2 hours helping her get them out and on her way back to America. Cheers.



Snipp

------------------------------

A cool red rose and a pink cut pink, a collapse and a sold hole, a little less hot.

[Centauri2002]

*grabs Snipp and continues to dance* Heh, well I'm so glad you realise your genius. You do realise, there's a fine line between genius and insanity right? You do? Great, I was just making sure.



Caz

Tara: I got so lost
Willow: I found you... I will always find you

[snippygal]

Very, very fine line, Centauri2002. I was taught early in life some of the most creative geniuses (or is it geniui?) were completely insane. Now I'm taking crazy pills just to keep up.



---------------

A cool red rose and a pink cut pink, a collapse and a sold hole, a little less hot.

[snippygal]

Title: Season 7

Author: snippygal

Rating: Regular font - PAX - PG/ Italics - Kitten-vision - R

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are property of Joss Whedon, ME, and Fox. The ideas expressed in this story are mine -- you can tell cuz they’re funny and lesbians don’t die.

Spoilers: Joss Whedon .. oh, you mean, ha ha. Not those kind of spoilers. Boy is my face red. Yes - Season 7 spoilers, of the fake kind.





“BUFFY” Episode 7.14 - “R.E.S.P.E.C.T.”



LAST TIME:



“I couldn’t get it up, alright?!” Stop hounding me!”



----------------------------------



Meanwhile on the streets of Detroit ---



Spike trudges on, the wind at his back, his hands buried in his coat pockets.  He mutters to himself through the snow.  "Bitch is gonna see a change."



A homeless man steps up to him.  "Ya got change?"



"Sorry, mate.  On a mission.  Gotta find Berry.  A change is gonna come.”

----------------------------------

Suddenly, without warning (hence the 'suddenly') Xander feels some shifting below his belt and his pants get a little tighter.  He looks down, then back up at Angel, happy tears in his eyes.

----------------------------------

"Request denied.  Mr. Whedon is obviously insane and must remain here with us for more tests and shock therapy."



AND NOW:



Spike turns the corner of John R and Canfield and enters the old abandoned building. He holds his Zippo™ up to the walls. Little stick figures are drawn of a group of 5 guys, one resembling a young Michael Jackson with an afro.



“Barry?” Spike calls out.



No answer. He sees another picture of another stick figure wearing sunglasses and sitting at a piano, widely smiling.



“Barry!” he yells this time.



He can just barely make out a sign at the front reading “The Flame Show Bar”.



“Spike?” a familiar voice questions.



Spike turns around to find himself face to face with --



“Clem. What are you doing here?”



“The cold weather’s good for my skin. Besides, I blend in pretty well in Detroit. What about you? Did the Slayer finally kick you out of Sunnydale for good?”



“No, I’m looking for Barry.” Thought he’d be here.”



“Oh."



“He and I hung out a bit in the mid-60’s. I introduced him to Jackie Wilson.”



“So why are you looking for him now?” Clem asks, munching on some chicken wings.



“I tried to dance with Buffy. I stepped all over her feet.”



“Oh.”



“Why do I feel this way, Clem?”



“Love’s a funny thing.”



“Is that what this is? I can feel it. Squirming in my head. What am I supposed to do?”



“Well, you know Spike, she may be weary. And young girls, they do get weary.”



“I am always wearing this same old shaggy dress,” Spike says, referring to his coat.



“But when she gets weary,” Clem reminds, “try a little tenderness.”



“A little tenderness?”



“You know she waiting. Just anticipating for the thing that she’ll never, never, never, never possess.”



“Yeah,” Spike agrees.



“But while she’s there waiting, try a little tenderness.”



“That’s all I’ve gotta do?”



“It’s not just sentimental. She has her griefs and her cares,” Clem says. “But the soft words, they are spoken so gentle.”



“Yeah,” Spike thinks, giving in.



“That makes it easier. Easier to bear.”



“Yeah!”



“You won’t regret it.”



“No, I don’t suppose I will.”



“And Buffy, she won’t forget it. Love is her whole happiness. But it’s all so easy. All you gotta do, is try a little tenderness.”



Spike still considers this while Clem drives his point home.



“You gotta squeeze her. Don’t tease her --”



“Well,” Spike chimes in, “she’s the tease.”



“-- Never leave her. You got to, got to, go to --”



“Try a little tenderness, huh?”



----------------------------------



Back in Sunnydale --



Xander sits at the once-again newly remodeled Bronze. His tie is loosened and his fingers wrap around a beer bottle. A wild-eyed kid with a cheap shiny leisure suit sits next to him and orders up a Zima. They exchange a look.



“Well, hey there, Sparky. You don’t look so good.”



“I can’t get it up,” Xander sighs, not even attempting to mask his patheticness anymore.



“Ah. I have that problem, too. Only robots excite me.”



“Only a Broadway-obsessed vampire who may or may not be a hermaphrodite excites me.”



“You win,” the kid snorts, throwing his hands up in the air.



They sit in an uncomfortable, drunken silence for a while. Then:



“Ya know, Slim, I’ve heard of a place you can go.”



“What kinda place?”



“A kind of ...” the kid looks around, then leans into Xander. “... a service station, if you will.”



“Really? And that will help me with my little problem?”



The kid slips him a business card. “Couldn’t hurt, Frodo.”



Xander examines the card.



----------------------------------



Meanwhile ---



Willow hangs upside down from a swinging bar. She’s been swinging like this for 45 minutes now and the boy on the other trapeze is beginning to grow a bit tired of her rejecting his hands.



“Willow! When I swing to you, grab my hands and let go of the the bar!” he yells to her, a little annoyed.



“Okay! I’m really gonna do it this time!”



As they swing to meet, Willow reaches out, but misses his hands. She loses her balance and covers her eyes and screams as she falls to the net below. She lies there for a moment, exhausted. Her head hangs over the side of the net. When she finally opens her eyes, she sees a lovely blonde standing over her, smiling.



“Hi, honey! I brought lunch!”



Willow smiles, untangles herself and drops to the floor.



“Thanks!” she replies with a kiss.



----------------------------------



That night --



Buffy strolls through the cemetery. Patrolling. It’s what she does.



----------------------------------



Meanwhile --



Xander double-checks the address on the card as he walks down the sidewalk. He hears quick, desperate footsteps on the pavement. Frightened, he looks back. Buffy rushes towards him.



“Hey!” she yells, frantically waving her arms.



“What is it, Buff? What’s wrong?”



Buffy comes to an abrupt stop. “Just hold on a second! Stop everything!” Buffy yells through pants to no one in particular. Instead of continuing, she holds her finger up and rests her hands on her knees as she wheezes.



Xander peers down at her, curious (but we always knew Xander was a little curious, didn’t we?) “You okay, Buffster? You seem kinda outta shape.”



“I think it was all the pumpkin pie. And I haven’t been training like I usually do -- ya know, no apparent evil.”



“Do you still have your Slayer strength?”



Buffy clocks Xander square in the nose. He goes flying half a block. Buffy smiles.



“I guess I do.” She looks at her fist mesmerized by it’s shape. Then she remembers why she’s here. “Oh! Okay, so, that’s all I get?” Buffy yells to no one again. “ ‘Buffy strolls through the cemetery.’? That’s it? This show is called ‘BUFFY’! It’s MY show! I’m sick of the minor characters being more interesting and getting more time than me -- Oh no! don’t you dare start correcting my grammar now! I’m Buffy the Vampire Slayer! I talk funny! It’s what I do! So, are you gonna give me a damn storyline or not? -- Okay, then. That’s what I like to hear! So, what is it?”



A 50 foot dictionary with razor-sharp claws and teeth towers over her and growls.



“AHHH! Really big words!” Buffy yells, waving her arms. She continues screaming as the big-ass book chases her away.



Xander lifts himself off the pavement, wipes his nose and continues on his way.



When he reaches the house, he knows it’s familiar, but can’t remember why. He taps on the door. It opens to reveal Dawn.



Xander looks up at her in embarrassed terror and shock. “What -- Dawn --- huh?”



Dawn is equally stunned. “Xander! What are YOU doing here?”



It’s about this time that Xander first notices what Dawn is wearing - very, very little (which we won’t go into detail because she’s just a kid and that’s just not cool).



“I .. uh .. I got this card from someone. Said it could help me with my .. issue.”



Dawn sighs and thinks what to do. Then it hits her: Xander is completely harmless. Sure he killed a bus-load of nuns, but their eternity was pretty secure. They’re probably a lot happier, now. Even if he ratted her out to Buffy, nobody would believe him anyway.



“Okay, Xander. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret,” Dawn tells him, leading him inside and closing the door.



“Ooh, I like secrets!”



----------------------------------



Halfway across town --



Buffy still runs as fast as she can from the giant dictionary.



Through screams we hear “Very funny!”



----------------------------------



Back in L.A. at “Buffy Central” --



All the writers sit at the big table with their thumbs up their asses.



Marti staggers in, looking tired and beaten. The writers all look up, hopeful. She stops at the head of the table and takes in a huge breath.



“I’m still in charge,” she says to them.



The writers let out disappointed sighs and moans.



“I’m still trying to get Joss out, but he is a long way from being sane. So until then, I’ve got a great idea for tomorrow’s episode. You know how we have the girl who can predict the school menu?”



Everyone nods, recalling the weak plot.



“Well, I thought we could get someone to create a really half-assed website about her, pretending that she’s a real person and then go to the Bronze board and tell everyone about it. We’ll create a buzz. It will be like ‘Blair Witch’ meets ‘A.I.’! What do you think?”



The writers all ‘hmm’ and ‘ahhh’. A few pipe up with ‘very original!’ or ‘great idea!’



A poor writer’s assistant steps in, humbly offering coffee and Baily’s to the writers. He knows he’s not allowed to speak in the meetings, but can’t control it any longer. “But, you’ll only create a 24 hour buzz. That’s not enough time to get people interested. Plus, it seems to me that it’s just coming across as a stunt.”



The writers turn and look at the young assistant. Marti’s face turns red and a little purple. “How dare you question me! Now go and do your chores! Have you sent out the Emmy ballots like I asked?”



“What? I thought someone else was supposed to do that.”



The writers all moan and groan again. They begin to realize that “Buffy” is turning into a lost cause.



“Hey,” says Fury, “let’s just give up. Write some 'Buffy Animated' eps.”



“Okay,” they all agree.



END OF 7.14

----------------------------------

"BUFFY is my life! I'm so into Willow being a lez!" - Jack, "Will & Grace"

[jaycatt23]

oh, the shoe line has already been quoted, but I laughed so much it deserves to quoted again, I think:

Quote:

---

Lesbians are irrational, using all their common sense on their shoes.

---

And, on the 'laughing so much I scared away my pets' note, I laughed so much I scared the cat. It looked at me with utter disdain, and fled the only warm room in the house to go and play in torrential rain. Which, in a twisted way, is a compliment to you, I think.



Edited cos I'm illiterate, and also cos you posted a new update while I was typing. Grr. Sure it's good though.



....Comes back 5 minutes later, having read update...Yep, I was right, it was good. Loved trapeze Willow, and fell over laughing with

Quote:

---

“Only a Broadway-obsessed vampire who may or may not be a hermaphrodite excites me.”

---

It's a good job the cat had already run away, cos I really would have scared it this time.

Edited by: jaycatt23 at: 10/15/02 11:44:17 am

[moominmamma]

Well, I just can't keep up with you. I was trying to come up with a witty, clever response to 13, and you've gone on without me. You rule, Snipp. That is all.

[Centauri2002]

Quote:

---

A 50 foot dictionary with razor-sharp claws and teeth towers over her and growls.

---

Heh, that was sooo funny! And what you were saying about Buffy (well, she was saying it about herself) was so true. The truth tends to be the funniest sotries.



One complaint about this update. Not enough Willow and Tara! You don't want me getting sulky now do ya? You'll just have to make up for it in the next update, hmm?



Caz

Tara: I got so lost
Willow: I found you... I will always find you

[The Big I T]

snipp...another update? so soon? praise be!



I'm reading this at work, tilting my monitor to a ridiculous angle so that I can proceed without drawing any untoward attention to what's really on my screen. If the snorting and wheezing caused by my muffled laughter doesn't give me away, this debilitating kink I'm developing in my neck surely will...



Clem is cracking me up with his "song of wisdom". Is this the Otis Redding version? Buffy mesmerized by the shape of her fist. *snort* And then running from that scary giant dictionary. And good ol' pathetic Xander. So easy to poke fun. And yet it cracks me up. Every single time.



But you know what really made me burst out laughing? (And I do mean "burst out"...in a very non-office protocol sort of way.) Dropping in on Buffy central where the writers are all sitting around with their thumbs up their asses and cluing in that Buffy is turning into a lost cause. Way to lead there, Marti. Sometimes it's the mundane that is the most freakin' hilarious all on its own.



You kill me, snipp. You really do. And I like it.



Edited to add: Swiftly and nicely done on the Cassie website bs. Lame-oids. You are wickedly evilly funny, snipp. And the pills are still working I see...

********

"How 'bout them Broncos..." -- some guy, saying something useful, in The Initiative

Edited by: The Big I T at: 10/15/02 1:28:05 pm

[mollyig]

Clem's advice to Spike was priceless. Although it reminded me of the film The Commitments (which I love), and the lead singer in the band Andrew Strong, who makes Clem seem positively debonair!



Loved the menacing dictionary chasing Buffy. Fun stuff.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[kbk3022]

Like the update. Like the title. Like the Clem and Spike scene. Although, unlike others I'm reminded of Three Dog Night's cover of Otis' version, someone I might know could possibly have their best of cd. Anyway, good update, maybe a little more Willow and Tara next time though, huh?



Kasey



P.S. - That was shockingly fast update time, plus with the whole Cassie deal thrown in that was a great touch.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You should come around here on Halloween,
you'd really see something then...
we all jump off the roof and fly."

[snippygal]

jaycatt23- I love twisted compliments!  They're my absolute favorite!  Thank your cat for me.  I know what a huge deal it is for a feline to give up their happy warm place.  Sorry to slip an update in under your nose like that.  Honestly, it just snuck up on me, too. 

 

moominmamma - I apologize for not allowing ample time for feedback.  I will refrain from updating anymore until you write me a 10 page dissertation on the literary effects "Bobby" has made on contemporary pop culture.  No need for wit or cleverness.  Just some big words and bloated phrases.  Say things like "heretofore" or "aforementioned" or "post modernism".  It'll be great.  Take your time.  I could use the break.

 

Centauri2002 - So, you noticed the Willow and Tara deficiency, too, huh?  Damn.  I was hoping no one would catch on to that.  Actually, after finishing "R.E.S.P.E.C.T." I realized how little W/T had been in these last two episodes.  Which is always a terrible shame.  The truth is, the purpose of this fic is to make fun of things.  It's much more fun to be nasty (er, in the mean sense, not the smut sense) and it's just too hard to do that to our girls.  But not to worry.  Wonderful things are in store for them.  I haven't forgotten where I am.



I T - Ease up there on the laughter. I’d hate to get you fired or committed or something. Actually, that would be kinda cool. Let me know if I have that kind of power. Yeah, so I read the writers’ posts on the Bronze last night and God bless them, they’re giving me so much great material. I’m reading them go on and on about this stupid Cassie site and they’re like “Oh hey! Check it out before tomorrow night’s episode.” As if this horrible site could possibly enhance what I thought was a fairly blah episode, save for Willow’s big scene - all, what, 10 seconds of it, prefaced by a ridiculously long scene with Xander. I’m ranting, now, aren’t I? Sorry. I’m not allowed in the Season 7 thread, so I have to do it elsewhere. Welcome to elsewhere.



Anyway, yes, the song was based on Mr. Redding’s version as much as humanly possible. The original plan was to have Spike sing it to Buffy, but then I realized that 1) That wouldn’t make much sense and 2) I think Jon Cryer did that to Molly Ringwald in “Pretty In Pink” and as cool as Spike may be at times, he’s no Jon Cryer. So the honor went to Clem. I believe “Try A Little Tenderness” is one of the greatest songs of all time. Which leads me to ---



mollyig - Not until I heard it performed by Andrew “the reincarnated Joe Cocker” Strong and the rest of The Commitments, did I realize that this is one of the greatest songs of all time. And while I’m on the subject, how great is that movie? Best scene (which I didn’t even notice until I had several viewings under my belt): Video store - Jimmie’s showing them the James Brown footage and in the background you can see a sign over a video shelf that says “Alan Parker Week”. The guy is shameless and I love it.



I’m glad you liked what seems to be a favorite - the killer dictionary. I was sitting here like a goof trying to think of what Buffy would be afraid of. Obvious much?



I do have to give props to (did I just say “give props to”?) Munchkin who had mentioned the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man several episodes back and as I wrote the giant dictionary part, it was then that I knew something subconsciously must have slipped through my brain. So that was subliminally for you, Munchkin - wherever you are.



kbk3022 - Believe it or not, I’m not sure if I know the Three Dog Night cover. I’m sure I’ve heard it - just not in a very long while. And I know, I know - more Willow and Tara next episode. I promise. I seriously couldn’t believe I had an update either! I was like a maniac these last two days writing this. I couldn’t stop. I was insane! When will the lambs stop screaming?!



Alright, kids, I’ve gone on way too long and said too much. It’s past my bedtime anyway. Thank you all for laughing and sharing said laughter. Muchos gracias. From the bottom of my heart, I love you all. Except you. No, not you. Dammit, I T, it's not you, put your hand down! YOU. In the back. Yeah. You bug me.



*skipping off to take more pills*



Snipp

-----------------------------------

"BUFFY is my life! I'm so into Willow being a lez!" - Jack, "Will & Grace"

[gspiggott]

You are an evil genius. For some reason I imagine the Xander in your story with a Donald Trump combover.Loved the giant dictionary. Will Dawn get a big East of Eden scene? I can hardly wait.

[moominmamma]

Dear Snipp:



Here is the first paragraph of my essay:



Snippygal's "Bobby: A Parody" (heretofore referred to as "Bobby") is a classic example of the fragmentation that seems to be a necessary condition of modernity. "Bobby" weaves fiction and the "real world," artifice and "reality," in a postmodern romp through the contemporary landscape of popular culture's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Her social satire is particularly striking when she critiques the ubiquitous influence of the religious right through her incisive descriptions of PAX TV's nefarious influence. Snippygal, in the aforementioned "Bobby," has created a devastating pastiche of our post-capitalist, postmodern world.



Please post soon to save me from having to finish this.

[Tulipp]

I'm so happy that in my world, your fic has become Real and the show on tv has become a Fake Mockery of What Once Was Cool.



Seriously, last night my gf and I were watching the part of the new ep where Buffy is sharpening pencils, and she is concentrating SOOOO hard on getting the pencil into the little pencil sharpening hole, and then turning the pencil around and around to get that nice little point on it, and we both thought of you immediately and knew that it was the kind of thing you would like. Buffy's so dumb.



Anyway, loved the song, of course, loved Dawn pulling Xander into the house, loved that Tara made lunch for Willow, loved the part about that freaking website, and I love it that now moominmamma has to write a paper for you.



But tell you what...you could keep updating and just let the rest of us read the new chapters, and just don't let her read it until she writes the paper. Okay? Thanks, Snipp.

***************

"Run, flee, maybe skedadlle. We're not here to engage. This is strictly recon." Willow, on season seven, in "This Year's Girl"

Edited by: Tulipp at: 10/16/02 11:02:13 am

[The Big I T]

Oh you have The Power alright, snipp. : -->



Alas, I think my job is fairly safe no matter how much of a spectacle I make of myself. I know where all the bodies are buried...



Hand check anyone??



Actually, there are no bodies. But they *do* need me. To turn the lights on in the morning. And turn them off at night...

********

"How 'bout them Broncos..." -- some guy, saying something useful, in The Initiative

Edited by: The Big I T at: 10/16/02 11:09:53 am

[Centauri2002]

So true, snipp. I wouldn't like anyone being mean to Will and Tara, so I'll let you off... this time. Glad to hear we'll see more of them though. That makes me a very happy kitty.



Caz

Tara: I got so lost
Willow: I found you... I will always find you