New NC-17 Fic: Under the Sea (Completed September 15th)

[SithLordWiccan]

Aky: Yeah, I killed Buffy. Like I said before, I was kinda hoping for this sort of reaction to it, because it would help convince me that I had done enough of a good job building up her character. I'm hoping that by the end of the story, you and other will recognize the reasons why I did it.

There may be some space between Willow and Tara right now, but don't worry. As this is the Kitten Board, all will be good by the end. Well...between Willow and Tara, of course. Maybe not so good for everyone else.

And thanks for the and the about the underwater smut. It makes me so happy to know that I pulled that off as well as I did. As for your concerns about Faith vs. Willow...well, hold on. It's coming up.

[SithLordWiccan]

OK, folks. Here's Chapter Thirteen. As with Chapter Twelve, I'm not terribly confident that this chapter is ready for posting, but it's been almost five days since the promised update, and if I continue to work over it, I'll never get it done well enough (in my mind, anyway) to post it. In any case, if there are errors, they can always be corrected later.

So, without further adieu, Chapter Thirteen.

**

• Title: Under The Sea (Chapter Thirteen)
• Author: SithLordWiccan (Alex)
• Email address: decepticons_4_ever@hotmail.com
• Feedback: Feel free to leave it here. Or send me a e-mail. Or a PM. Or all three. I don’t really care. All comments read. Positive feedback welcomed, negative feedback to be collected, put in a rocketship and blasted into the sun.
• Distribution: Through The Looking-glass (http://www.uberwillowtara.com) Mystic Muse (http://www.mysticmuse.net)
• Rating: NC-17
• Disclaimer: This fic contains situations that may be considered unusual and strange to some. These include (but are not limited to) underwater sex between two females, breathholding and implied drowning. If any of this disgusts you, stop reading now and go find something else to do. This disclaimer is here for a reason: to let me off the hook so that I can feel free to go into as much smutty detail as I want without having to feel guilty about it. All "Buffy" characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
• Summary: Tara is a member of a race of undersea mermaids. Willow is a recreational diver who stumbles into their territory. Smutty underwater loving ensues.

**

[center]Chapter Thirteen[/center]

The minute that Willow saw Faith, she knew that something bad was about to happen. And what made her feel worse was the fact that Faith reminded her too much of Tara: a new person in the redhead's life that she had been greatly afraid of upon first meeting her. But while Willow had warmed up to Tara rather quickly (though recent events had given her cause to doubt if she should have), she remained coldly indifferent towards Faith, an act that she knew was out of character for her. As she had never knowingly gone out of her way to harm anyone or feel negatively towards others, it pained Willow to know that she was inherently, and perhaps unfairly, judging Faith. The fact that the brunette was here and looked as if she was about to walk over and stick a knife in her gut certainly didn’t do anything to change that mindset. Buffy had told her that there was good in Faith and that she wanted to work to bring it out. But as far as Willow was concerned, Faith was nothing but trouble.

Knowing that she couldn’t ignore her, Willow looked up and started directly into Faith’s eyes. “What do you want, Faith?”

Faith walked up to Willow, causing the redhead to step back as if she had just been cornered by a wild animal. “I think you know, Red.”

Willow gave the brunette a quizzical glance, confused at Faith’s response. She had given it to her in a very matter of fact tone of voice, as if the redhead should know exactly why she was here. “Faith, what are you talking about? Why would I know why you’re here?”

No sooner had the words passed through her mouth than she realized exactly why Faith could be here. And she mentally slapped herself in the face for not realizing it sooner. If Buffy had either made it to the beach or went there after getting to the docks, she would have told Faith everything that had happened, especially if she had come under attack. Willow grew frightened about this, especially given the fact that if Faith was here, then Buffy should be as well. But from all appearances, it didn’t appear as if she was anywhere in the immediate vicinity. Willow had to find out where Buffy was, if only to assuage her mounting fear.

“Faith, have you seen Buffy? Do you know where she is?”

Faith’s snarled as she pointed a finger directly into Willow’s face. “You got some nerve, Red, acting like you think I have no idea what’s going on.”

Willow’s heart was crashing against her chest, growing more confused and flustered by the moment. Faith was clearly attacking her for some perceived offense that she had done to Buffy. And though she wanted desperately to believe otherwise, it was somewhat sickening for her to realize how much Faith’s words were hitting home. But she couldn’t let the brunette know what had happened out in the ocean. It was mostly because she was still unsure about what actually happened, but more importantly, it was because she wasn’t quite ready to believe the truth. “Faith, I don’t know what’s going on! I’ve been out all day with Buffy, and we got…”

Willow paused, unsure of how to continue. She certainly didn’t want to bring up Tara to anyone, especially in a conversation like this. But she especially didn’t want to talk about her in front of Faith. If Buffy’s reaction had been any indication about how other people who didn’t understand her and would react to the idea of mermaids, then Willow knew that Faith would be antagonistic towards her, especially if she learned about who and what Tara really was.

“We got separated,” she quickly continued, hoping that her momentary pause wouldn’t be too noticeable. “I tried to find her, but I couldn’t. So I decided to go back to our boat and see if she was there. She wasn’t, so I decided to come back home and find out if she was here. You have to believe me, Faith. A…A lot’s happened to me in the last couple of days, and I’m trying to figure out how to deal with it.”

Planting her hands on her hips, Faith snorted as she flipped her hair back. “And since you couldn’t, you decided it would be easier to just drag B out to the middle of the ocean and kill her.”

Willow suddenly gave Faith her full attention, wondering how she could be tactless enough to say that. And she also wondered how much that statement didn’t seem to affect her as much as she thought it would have. Willow knew why, of course. She’d had the image of her blonde friend’s lifeless body in her mind for some time, so it wasn’t much of a surprise to hear about it from someone else. After all, all it did was confirm what she had already begun to suspect. But what did surprise her was who had given her waking nightmare a very real and very frightening confirmation, to say nothing about the incredibly insensitive way that Faith had said it. Her tone of voice and accusatory mood finally brought Willow around to the sudden realization that the brunette adamantly believed she had killed Buffy.

“Faith, I didn’t…”

Faith’s face contorted into one of disgust. “Oh, come off it, Red. I know what happened. I found her out in the ocean with a big ass knife wound in her side. And she said your name with her dying breath. Now, if you ask me, it doesn’t take much of a genius to put those two things together.”

Willow opened her mouth to deny Faith’s words, but found herself with nothing to say. She had been wondering if her actions had brought about Buffy’s end, but hearing it from the mouth of someone else just felt wrong. It didn’t help that the brunette’s words were lashing out at Willow as if she was mercilessly whipping her naked back, making the redhead’s already painful thoughts all the more excruciating to deal with.

Blinking her eyes and shaking her head in an attempt to regain her focus, Willow knew she had to say something in her own defense, lest Faith think her silence was an admission of guilt. “Faith, listen to me. I had nothing to do with Buffy’s death. I…I didn’t even know about it until right now.” She knew that wasn’t true, but at the same time, she told herself that it wasn’t exactly a lie, either. Even though Tara’s words had given her a reason to suspect it, Willow had still clung to the hope that she would find Buffy alive. Faith’s words, however, had brought that fantasy down around her head as quickly as if it she had used a jackhammer to smash it to pieces.

Her eyes began to water, and Willow knew she was on the verge of a complete emotional breakdown as she continued, “And to be frank, I don’t really appreciate the fact that you’re attacking me about this. Buffy may have meant a lot to you, but she meant a lot more to me. We’ve known each other since high school. We’ve been best friends for years. She went out of her way to make me feel more comfortable about things I did and things I liked which…which I thought would scare and frighten other people if they ever found out. She made me feel like…like a normal person at times when I had reason to wonder if I really was. We even had the rest of our lives all planned out. I was going to be Buffy’s maid of honor at her wedding, and she at…at mine. We were going to grow old together and share a room at the old folk’s home. We…we were going to forget to take our pills and complain about the temperature in our room. We were supposed to be together forever…I…I’ve never thought that I would have to spend the rest of my life without her…”

Willow leaned against the side of her car and buried her face in her arms, too emotionally spent to keep herself from crying any longer. The double impact of learning that her best friend was indeed dead and being accused of it by an angry Faith was too much for her to handle, finally unleashing the tears that she had tried desperately to keep buried ever since she first contemplated the idea that Buffy could be out of her life.

Faith, meanwhile, watched Willow’s emotional breakdown and realized immediately that she had made a big mistake. The pieces to the puzzle that had pointed her to the conclusion that Willow could have killed Buffy fit together so well that it never occurred to her that she might have been wrong about it. And caught up in her desire to avenge Buffy’s murder, she came off as being accusatory and feral, the very image that she had been desperately hoping not to give Willow. The redhead was someone she very much wanted to be friends with, if for no other reason than the fact that she was important to Buffy.

Faith immediately regretted saying what she had said, knowing that in doing so, she was dishonoring Buffy’s memory. The brunette figured that it would have been her one wish in life that the two of them could be friends. It was certainly ironic that the opportunity for that to happen only came at the expense of the blonde’s own life.

“Red…” she said, her voice a whisper that held back the pain that Willow had let loose. She turned away, trying to keep herself from letting the redhead know how much she had been affected by her words.

Turning to look, Willow thought about the dramatic 180 degree shift that Faith had just undergone. She was unsure whether or not she should believe it, thinking at first that the brunette was simply trying to lull her into a false sense of security by playing with her emotions. But as she watched the animalistic fury and tension that had been in her eyes and wrapped around her body slowly fade away, Willow realized that she was indeed being sincere. It became obvious to Willow that Faith was as deeply affected by Buffy’s death as she herself was, but while she was letting herself get depressed to the point of catatonia over it, Faith had decided to take a more proactive approach, trying to find out for herself what exactly had happened. Willow couldn’t blame the brunette for that. Given the right set of circumstances, not knowing what she did about the situation, she would want to do the same.

“Faith…”

Faith turned at the sound of her own name, seeing Willow looking at her with her arms outstretched, a puppy dog look of sadness on her face. Without a second thought, Faith ran straight into the redhead’s arms, the two embracing one another in a tight hug. Their sobs echoed across the empty parking lot as they collapsed to their knees, each of them letting their emotional guard down completely, knowing that the other felt the same way. They held one other for a few minutes more, neither fearing to separate out of concern of the other’s feelings. Eventually, they let go of one another and got to their feet, still sniffling and blinking away their remaining tears.

“Red, you gotta understand something. What I said…I didn’t mean…”

“I know,” Willow said, brushing away a strand of her hair. “You were just…You just wanted to find out what happened to Buffy. She is…she was someone special.”

“Yeah,” Faith sniffled, turning away to look out at the setting sun. “There’s nobody else in the world quite like her, Red. The world’s lost someone important today.” Turning back, she looked into Willow’s eyes. “But at least she can rest in peace now.”

Willow blinked. “What?”

Faith swallowed hard, the memory of what happened and her feelings about it still fresh in her mind. “Buffy’s last words…well…I didn’t catch them all, on account of the fact that she didn’t finish them, but…I thought she wanted me to find you and make you pay for what you had done to her. But now that I think about it, I think she wanted me to make sure that you were OK. And now that I know you are, I can get to work making sure that whoever was actually responsible for this pays for what they’ve done.”

Willow who had begun to feel a connection with the feisty brunette, suddenly felt herself ill at ease. Not only because it once again reminded her of Tara’s possible role in all of this, but because, despite all that had happened, she felt the need to protect the blonde, and her kind by association, from the well meaning advances of Faith that would no doubt become something substantially different were she to find out what really happened.

Faith’s voice cut back into her thoughts. “Like I said, I got the idea from her last words that you had something to do with it. But from what you’ve just told me…I don’t know, Red. I still can’t shake the feeling that you know more than you’re telling me. Are you sure you have no idea what happened?”

Hearing the question made it almost impossible for Willow to keep herself from blurting out what she felt at that moment. Her thoughts rewound over the course of the past few days, realizing now that with everything that’s happened, she may have changed more dramatically than she had thought at first. And Willow knew that it all stemmed back to meeting Tara for the first time. She had been so deeply affected by what had happened to her prior to that, both on an emotional and hormonal level, it never occurred to her to give herself adequate time to think about what had happened to her. And even when she had gotten back to dry land and had the opportunity to do so, Willow didn’t dwell on it as much as she knew she should have.

And there was also the fact that Tara had sung to her. Willow realized now it must have been what had affected her actions, because ever since that moment, she had been feeling and thinking things that had never before crossed her mind. Including, she realized with growing sadness and concern, the hastily made decision she had made to bring Buffy to meet Tara. It was something that bothered her greatly. Despite her tendency, because of her spazzy nature, to make decisions like that, she had only done so when it was about something rather insignificant. On decisions like the one she had made to bring Buffy and Tara together, Willow would have spent a great deal of time thinking about it, wondering if it was a good idea and weighing all the pros and cons before finally reaching a decision. And she knew that she would not have made a spur of the moment decision about a choice like that that unless she had somehow been tricked or coerced into doing so. This concerned Willow a great deal, and made her wonder if Tara’s song had implanted some sort of subliminal message in her mind, telling the redhead to bring someone down to be sacrificed by her people.

Willow’s mind screamed at her in two different voices, each telling her what she should do. The rational part of her mind told her to tell Faith everything that she knew, knowing that it would help bring about the justice that Faith obviously felt Buffy’s death required and which she, on some unconscious level, could agree with. But at the same time, the part of her mind that wanted to keep things a secret in order to protect others told her that it would be a bad idea to blurt out what she knew. What she had to say would have been impossible for anyone to willingly accept under normal circumstances. Buffy had seen it for herself firsthand, and things hadn’t turned out so well for her. Not to mention that if she were to tell Faith, the brunette would no doubt write her off as an insane lunatic, trying desperately to make up a ludicrous excuse to explain the situation. A situation that, despite everything they had just gone through, Faith might still think she had a role in.

The fact that any attempt on her part to explain to Faith what had happened in those terms would certainly serve to justify that left Willow wondering what she should do. She certainly wanted to explain to the brunette what really happened, but not if that meant putting herself and Tara in any harm. Those two things were something she did not want. “I’m sure,” she answered with great emphasis, hoping that Faith would believe her words.

Shaking her head, Faith turned around and walked back to her scooter. Willow watched her walk away, tears once again welling in her eyes. From the brunette’s actions, she knew that Faith didn’t believe her. Or, at the very least, didn’t think she was going to get a straight answer out of her.

“FAITH, I’M NOT LYING! I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE DIED!”

Stepping onto the scooter, Faith turned the key and gunned the engine. She then looked up at Willow, seeing a look on the redhead’s face that was unmistakably vulnerable. Faith knew by that look that what Willow had said was the absolute truth, at least as far as she knew. And as much as Faith wanted to believe that Willow had nothing to do with what had happened, the redhead’s unwillingness to give her an honest answer or possible explanation made her seriously doubt the redhead’s words.

Then again, would she really be acting this way if she had killed her best friend? For the moment, Faith really couldn’t answer that question as well as she would have liked. But Willow obviously needed to do what she needed to do as well: spend time dealing with the pain that she felt, imagined or not. And for the sake of Buffy, whom she knew would not approve of what she was doing now, Faith was willing to let Willow off the hook, at least for the moment.

Shaking her head, Faith drove up beside Willow’s car, turning to look at the redhead. “I know you think that, Red, and I want to believe you. I really, really do. So for now, I’m going to, for Buffy’s sake. But I am going to try and find out what happened. And if I find out you’ve been lying to me, I’m not going to be happy.”

Faith gunned the engine and sped off, leaving Willow without the opportunity to deliver a response. The redhead stood and looked out at the departing vehicle for several more moments before she got her keys out of her pocket, walked over to the trunk and opened it to retrieve her gear, all the while trying to keep herself from suffering another emotional collapse.

**

Several minutes later, Willow walked into the apartment, recalling how much the situation reminded her of what had happened two days ago. Like then, she had just come home from a secret dive trip on which she had met a beautiful blonde mermaid known as Tara, and bared her soul to her. But there was one major difference this time that made her feel depressed about walking inside the place that, up until now, had been a bastion of comfort in a cruel world.

Buffy. There was no comforting presence of her best friend in the apartment to make her feel better about the things that she had done and felt ashamed about. There was no feeling of knowing that Buffy was going to come home and help Willow leave the problems of the day behind her. The redhead felt a sense of loss as she realized this, knowing with some irony that she would have been the first person that would have helped her deal with her grief and loss.

Setting her gear down beside the door, Willow walked towards Buffy’s room, stopping in front of the door. She brought her hand to the knob and hesitated for a moment before grasping and turning it. Pushing the door open, Willow stepped inside the room, closing the door behind her. She then drew a deep breath and turned around, looking at the contents of her best friend’s room.

There was a Queen sized bed situated against the wall with simple white sheets and two pillows. A clock radio and a framed picture of her family stood on the nightstand beside the bed. There were also two bookcases in the room: one on the opposite side of the bed, the other in front of it. Both held a mix of videos, DVD’s, magazines, novels and old school textbooks. Willow found herself smiling at the sight of seeing so much reading material in Buffy’s possession. Despite her appearance as the stereotypical uneducated bleached blonde bimbo, the blonde had often enjoyed the thrill and excitement that came from reading a good book.

Knowing this, Willow had given several to her as birthday gifts over the course of their friendship. Walking over to the bookcase beside the bed, she withdrew one which she had given to Buffy on her last birthday: “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.” Opening the cover, she lifted the dust jacket and looked at the words she had written on the inside cover in her easily recognizable calligraphy: “Happy Birthday, Buffy! I hope you enjoy this. My parents gave me this when we went to London. I want you to have it because…well, it was special to me. Just like you are. Willow.” Willow traced a finger over the words she had written before returning the book to where it had been on the shelf.

Her gaze then drifted across the room, coming to a stop on the small cabinet beside the door. Taking a look, she saw that it contained the various trophies, certificates and medals Buffy had won while part of the high school swim team. Although most of certificates stood framed among the trophies and medals, two hung side by side on the wall above it. One was the certificate that the blonde had gotten when she had completed her lifeguard training. The other wasn’t a certificate at all, Willow realized upon closer inspection, but a picture. The picture showed Buffy at what looked like her mid teens wearing a blue competition style one piece swimsuit that, because she appeared to have recently been in water, clung to her body. A pair of swimming goggles and a medal hung from around her neck. She stood between two other people, her mother Joyce and younger sister Dawn. Willow had met them many times when she had stayed at Buffy’s house for sleepovers and late night homework cramming sessions. All three of them were smiling, Dawn and Joyce clearly expressing their happiness at Buffy’s apparent victory.

Looking at that picture, and thinking of the memories of their friendship that it had invoked, brought a fresh wave of sadness and pain over Willow at the loss of her best friend. It also made her think that it was rather selfish to think that she and Faith had the exclusive rights to feel anything about Buffy’s death. She had affected a great deal of people in her tragically short life, and both she and Faith had shown a large amount of grief about her loss. But as much as it affected the two of them, Willow knew that it would affect Dawn and Joyce more. She and Faith were Buffy’s friends, but Dawn and Joyce were her family. They most likely knew what happened by now, and Willow couldn’t help but wonder how they were handling it. Was Joyce sitting in a chair with a cup of tea, crying at the loss of her first born daughter? Was Dawn curled up in a ball in her room and holding a stuffed animal, trying in vain not to believe that her sister had been taken from her?

Blinking away the tears that were welling up in her eyes, Willow moved to the closet and opened it. Looking inside, she wasn’t surprised to find it stocked with jeans and t-shirts. Willow knew that Buffy had been a tomboy for most of her life, only wearing fancy clothes such as dresses and high heeled shoes on special occasions. Willow would never forget the pink dress and matching high heels the blonde had worn when she escorted her to prom. It was so unlike her to go to great lengths to beautify herself like that for anybody. But Buffy had said something that night that deeply affected Willow, who realized with those words how much she was willing to go through just to make her best friend happy.

”I know this isn’t something I normally do, Will. But because it’s you, and because I love you as a friend, I’m willing to do this. I want to make you happy, even if it means putting myself in danger.”

Closing the closet door, Willow turned and walked out of the room. As she closed the door and headed towards her own room, she began to cry once more. Seeing Buffy’s room, filled with the various knickknacks and personal items that showcased the blonde’s brief but vibrant life, reinforced and amplified her feelings of despair. These feelings were amplified by the fact that she knew that they would need to get packed up. She would have to walk back into that room, look at everything that was her best friend’s legacy, and put it away as if it were something to be donated to the Salvation Army.

But Willow knew that it wouldn’t be going to someone who didn’t deserve it. It would be going back to Buffy’s family, who could treasure it more than she could by leaving it here. It was the only thing Willow knew she could do with it, since she couldn’t keep it that room as if everything was all right. Because she knew that it wasn’t. Keeping Buffy’s things in her room would only serve to remind the redhead of what she had lost.

Pausing at the door to her room, Willow glanced back at the gear she had left by the door. Moving back to it, she unzipped the pouch on the buoyancy compensatory where she had placed the pearl given to her by Tara. Taking out the smooth marble and letting it rest in the palm of her hand, Willow felt something pass up her arm. It felt as if an electrical current had pass through her, infusing her being with a sense of freshness and calm that she had not felt since…

Since Tara had brought her back to consciousness. Willow almost dropped the pearl out of disgust at the thought, quickly being reminded of how much she was beginning to question her decisions and Tara’s possible influence on them. But for some reason she couldn’t even begin to fathom, she kept it in her hand. As much as she felt conflicted about Tara and her feelings for the blonde at that moment, Willow knew that it was also somewhat comforting to have something of hers nearby. She just couldn’t believe that Tara would be capable of doing something as horrific as what she was imagining. And knowing this, regardless of how much she wanted to doubt it, made her think that things would get better soon. Despite this, however, the negativity that had been brewing in her mind in relation to the mermaid refused to leave her being. It was as if Willow’s feelings for Tara were the sun, and her nagging doubts she had about the blonde were a dark cloud that was hanging over it, keeping the full vitality and strength of her feelings from coming forth at their full intensity.

Closing her hand around the pearl, she tried to push those feelings aside, thinking only of pure happiness and warmth as she thought of Tara, hoping that wherever she was, the blonde would feel them and be comforted.

**

As she swam home, Tara could not help but feel as if she was being watched. No matter how much she tried to feel good about what had transpired between her and Willow, the wrongness of what they had done continue to hang over her, making her feel as if she had betrayed her clan by making love to the redhead. Tara’s state of mind was not helped at all by the fact that she was forced to consider that because of her vagueness in offering a conclusion regarding Buffy’s safety, in addition to saying nothing about her clan’s xenophobia and distrust of humankind, Willow was at this moment beginning to think that she had lured them both down to the sea in order to be killed.

It had pained Tara to realize this, especially since it was her choices that had set everything in motion. Although Baji had given her blessing and said that she would not judge her for her actions, she had been the one to decide to walk the path that had led her here, knowing full well the dangers that were possible. She couldn’t blame this on an outside power. She couldn’t blame this on some less reputable element of her society influencing her. She had made the choice herself to do what she had done. That made what happened her responsibility.

Her teacher would no doubt try to comfort her, but she was a minority in this situation. If anyone else were to find out what had happened, she would be ostracized and put to death. And all for the simple reason that the Elders feared anything they saw as even remotely harmful to their society. That also meant Willow would feel their wrath, if they were to discover her role in what had happened, when she returned to the ocean.

“If she were to return,” Tara thought, fearing once again that Willow would somehow convince herself that the blonde had been in collusion with the others who had killed Buffy and never return, denying her the opportunity to try and explain everything.

But as much as Tara feared that situation and realized the apparent danger should Willow return, she was also beginning to think that, regardless of what the Elders thought about the situation, the redhead’s return and the love for each other that they shared, perilous as it was at the moment, could only be seen as a good change to the clan and their way of life. If she could prove to everyone that peaceful coexistence between mermaid and human could happen without the apparent dangers that had made them fearful of the love between Lorelei and her mate, it would do enough to convince others to begin questioning the Elders’ decisions as she had. This would force a change whether or not the Elders desired one. And Tara knew that if she could accomplish this, her death would matter little to anybody in her society.

But it would mean that she would be leaving Willow alone, confused and divided between two similar, yet completely divergent, worlds. Tara knew that the redhead possessed qualities of both, yet it was that mixture that would never allow her to feel comfortable living solely in either. It made her feel selfish to think about how much her death would not matter to others, because she hadn’t thought to take into account how greatly it would affect Willow, especially if she were to learn that their union had been the catalyst for that senseless act. Having already lost her best friend on land due to the actions of her clan, Tara did not want Willow to lose the only real link to comfort and love that she had available to her.

Approaching the aquatic city that her clan called home, she saw other mermaids swimming around. Males and females conversed with one another while children swam around without a care in the world. She smiled at the antics of the children, hoping that they would grow up without any of the fears and rules that had been so much a part of her own upbringing. Something about the way that the adults were acting, however, made Tara feel uneasy. It was almost as if they were trying to figure out what to do about a potential problem.

“Tara?”

Tara turned around to find Baji approaching, her hair billowing in the water. The fact that her teacher was here made her concerns about the others more prominent, for she would not have come here unless she had business with the Elders. The fact that she had specifically called for her meant that what she had to say was for her ears alone. Tara’s feelings of uneasiness and concern were rapidly approaching a dangerous point, and she knew that what her teacher would say now would not help them dissipate.

Leading Tara away from the others, Baji turned to look at her. “I’ve felt something earlier. Have you…Have you done…anything?”

As before, Tara knew that she could not keep anything from Baji, no matter how much she wanted to. So she told her everything: How Willow had brought someone from the surface, how that person had treated her with suspicion and fear and how she and Willow had made love shortly after she had left.

Baji grew uneasy as Tara finished speaking. “Tara, I can feel that you know what’s happened, so I won’t try to comfort you. Your friends invaded our territory. The one that left you was found by a patrol on her way back to the surface. They…they killed her.”

Tara shuddered. She knew that Baji was going to tell her this, but that didn’t mean it was easier for her to hear it. ”It was an accident. They didn’t mean to invade. They…She…Willow only wanted to come back and see me. I…I never thought…” Tara quickly wrapped her arms around Baji, giving her a hug as her tears moved to join the salted water.

Tenderly patting Tara’s back, Baji replied, “I know you had the best of intentions, Tara. And luckily, the Elders have not yet treated this incident as anything more than what it appears: a single person unknowingly invading our territory. It’s unlikely that any more will be made of this, as the patrol was quite sure that she could not make it anywhere that she could be easily found before she....before she passed.”

Hearing that, Tara could feel a mixture of revulsion and relief pass through her. On the one hand, it meant that Buffy would not be found by anyone on the surface, thus preserving the secret of her clan. And anyone that did manage to find her body would more than likely think that her death was the result of something other than an attack by her kind. But it reminded her of how much her mistake had cost Willow, and that she would need to try and explain had happened to her if and when she returned. And now, with clear proof that Buffy had been killed by her kind, Tara wasn’t sure that Willow would easily accept an explanation of her innocence in the act.

Baji’s voice cut into her thoughts. “Tara, I have to tell you something that you may not want to hear, but I think it is necessary for you to know. This perceived attack on our way of life has made the Elders more…xenophobic than usual. They’ve decided that until tensions have been lowered among us and the apparent threat has passed, no one is to travel outside our borders out of fear of potentially attracting other unwanted visitors. Now, I said before that I would not disapprove if you wanted to pursue your relationship with Willow. Now, for both your safety and Willow’s, I have to go against my word. I don’t think you should see her again.”

Tara looked into Baji’s face, a mixture of sadness and confusion on her face. The words of her teacher were something that she did not want to hear. The two of them had come so far and done so much to prove their mutual love for one another that it revolted Tara to think that a simple misunderstanding by those who didn’t know better was threatening to tear what they had done. She would need time to figure out how to deal with this and how to explain everything to Willow, but Baji needed a response now. The elder mermaid needed to be reassured that Tara, who was in every aspect like her own offspring, would not do anything rash. But Tara couldn’t agree with what Baji wanted her to say. Nor could she go along with what the Elders decreed. She would not be dissuaded from being with Willow, especially when the redhead had lost the one thing in her life that was special to her. And especially not when Tara could be the only comforting thing she still had in this world.

Willow would need someone in her life now. And Tara wanted it to be her. Mostly, it was because of her happiness at succeeding where Lorelei failed in bridging the gap between mermaid and human. But now, some part of it was because of the guilt she felt about having unknowingly caused Buffy’s death. Whether she was actually responsible for it or not, it didn’t matter. Willow may think that she was, and that was more than enough to make her feel ashamed. Buffy’s death at the hands of her people had been a wanton act of violence, one that could not be simply passed over as an accident as her actions that had led Willow to become lost in the cave and almost die had been.

She had to explain to Willow that it had been an accident. And she had to hope that, in doing so, she could gain her acceptance and love once more. It would not be easy. It may not succeed. But it had to be done.

“I’m sorry, Baji. I can’t do what you ask of me. I can’t do what the Elders want me to do. Willow has had pain brought down upon her because of us, and it is my responsibility…no, my duty to make sure that she doesn’t suffer anymore because of us. Even if it means I will have to be killed.”

Baji looked at Tara, neither anger nor fear on her face. “So much like your mother,” she murmured, gently hugging Tara once more. “Very well, Tara. But if you choose to do this, do so with the knowledge that anything that you do from this point forward is a risk not only to yourself and our clan, but Willow’s life. I know that is not something you wish to risk, so I know you will proceed with caution. But be aware that if something should happen to you, there is nothing I can do to stop reprisals from the Elders.”

Tara nodded. “Yes, Master Healer.”

Holding onto each other for several more moments, Baji and Tara finally separated. And as the elder mermaid began to swim away, Tara felt a wave of sudden happiness wash over her. Closing her eyes, she could feel the unmistakable presence of Willow mixing with the pleasant feelings, the redhead’s life force working gradually to change the blonde’s own feelings from somber and subdued to pleased and happy, despite the fact that a trace of uneasiness and fear were present in her own aura. Tara kept her face passive so that she would not attract unwanted attention, but she internally smiled at the fact that wherever she was, and despite whatever sadness and pain she herself was feeling, Willow was attempting to comfort her.

Tara's one wish at that moment was that she could return those feelings.

[Thianne]

DIBS!

[willowbaby05]

I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry... I'm not gonna cry! Okay I'm gonna cry. Alex...
I think I'm starting to understand why you killed of Buffy. Not a lot. But it's sort of comming to me. Although, I knew you didn't just kill her without a reason.
It's so cool how both, Willow and Tara can feel the same emotions towards eachother. Even when apart, they still connect.
Starting with Willow,

Closing her hand around the pearl, she tried to push those feelings aside, thinking only of pure happiness and warmth as she thought of Tara, hoping that wherever she was, the blonde would feel them and be comforted.

Then on to Tara.

Tara kept her face passive so that she would not attract unwanted attention, but she internally smiled at the fact that wherever she was, and despite whatever sadness and pain she herself was feeling, Willow was attempting to comfort her.

Faith vs Willow. I had thought Faith was going to jumped to conclusions, and it was going to end in bloodshed. But, once again you shocked me. There was not fighting. A lot of anomosity, but thatw as it. Nice!!
Seriously though, emotions were flying high, not just with the characters, but with the reader as well. So well written Alex.
You still never seise to amaze me with this story. So you already know what I'm about to say.... Definally waiting around for the next update. Tis all.
Akyiree

[DameSansMerci]

Hey, Sith! I know you don't know me, and I haven't commented before, but I'm Jenny, and I love this story! Wow! First of all, we're seeing a new side to Faith, a more caring side...she's actually almost nice! Secondly, what a great job mixing conflicting emotions in Tara and Willow! It's so realistic...it's just...like whoa! Thirdly, the smut rocks! Fourthly, the smut rocks! Fifthly, the smut rocks! Sixthly, aww, poor Buffy! But it makes this story so multi-faceted...it's fascinating (facet-nating? ugh, bad pun!)! FABULOUS! And seventhly, uh, did I say WOW? Keep up the good work! Ba-da-da-da-da, I'm lovin' it! Oh, and three of these

[SithLordWiccan]

Akyiree: To be honest, I am kinda glad that I got you to cry. But don't take that as an offense. It means a lot to me that I'm able to make people do that in this fic. I'm glad that you're beginning to understand why I killed Buffy, though I know that by the end, it will be more obvious why. I'm kinda curious if what you think is the same thing as what I planned, so we'll have to see if that pans out.

Willow and Tara do feel the same way towards one another, though both are beginning to question how what's happened has affected them. Tara's internalizing this more than she should, of course, thinking that it's her fault that everything happened, even those there's no really way that could be true. Willow, meanwhile, is wondering if Tara's really the kind soul she thought she was. I can't really go into this more without spoiling you, but rest assured that I hope the next chapter makes it clear where I am planning to go with regards to this.

I'm glad that you enjoyed the Faith vs. Willow segment. That was one of the most fun parts of this fic for me. To me, Faith's really an honest person whose had a rough road, and I wanted to go against canon in this fic by saying that, unlike Canon Faith who lashes out because of how life has treated her, UtS Faith is someone who uses the pain she feels as a reason to make other people feel safe. This, of course, creates a conflict with Willow, whom she still thinks is somehow involved in Buffy's death.

I'm hoping to get an update up sometime this week. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Jenny: Wow! New reader! I'm glad you're enjoying my attempt to cast Faith in a different light. It's really one of the things I'm enjoy about writing this fic. I'm also glad that you enjoyed the mixed emotions I've introduced between Willow and Tara. That's one of the things I feared I would screw up, since its so vital in this fic, especially at this stage now that I've crossed the line. And I'm glad I got three 's down in relation to the smut. Hopefully you'll enjoy the rest of this.

[Devi Crystalseeker]

Sorry it took me so long to reply to this!

*cries and whimpers* This chapter's so intense... I really feel for Willow and Tara - and Faith, for that matter. Just wanna hug them all.

The ending better be very -tastic to make up for this!

Points that caught my eye:

We even had the rest of our lives all planned out. I was going to be Buffy’s maid of honor at her wedding, and she at…at mine.

So Willow's been planning her wedding in her mind even though (IIRC) she's figured out her orientation quite a while ago? I guess she expected that same-sex marriage would be legal by the time she found someone (or that they'd just have a commitment ceremony or something), hm? And now she's in love with Tara, but there's no prospect that they'll get to marry any time soon, what with all the trouble, and that's why she hesitated when she made that statement, yeah? (I can hear her voice hitching at the point in my mind...)

Baji looked at Tara, neither anger nor fear on her face. “So much like your mother,” she murmured, gently hugging Tara once more.

Wait, could it be that Tara's mother was – Lorelei? In that case, that would mean that that incident happened in very recent memory...

[Artemis]

Well it seemed likely that Faith would suspect something about Willow, and while those suspicions haven't been allayed, she's at least got the memory of Willow's sincere distress to keep her from thinking that Willow intentionally got Buffy killed somehow. There's still no telling what a pissed-off Faith might do, of course.

And Willow, recognising that Faith has her good points, thanks to Buffy's faith (heh) in her, but still wary of her - I like that. It seems more realistic that way, than if Willow acknowledged that she was being unfair, and all of a sudden was fine with Faith. People take time to get over their preconceptions, even when they know they should.

Now, though, I'm curious about what Tara has in mind. Her sense of justice must be railing against what happened to Buffy, but I can't for the life of me figure out how she can try to make things right - as much as she can, of course. She won't let herself just leave Willow in pain, yet the more contact there is between the two, the more they're both in danger. Not to mention a vengeful Faith, and Willow's own doubts about Tara brought on by her distress. Oh what a tangled web we weave (In this case, a tangled, soggy web - I don't think webs do well in water, though this metaphorical one is holding its own )

[Darkness]

I actually got a tear in my eye when I read the last chapters! And that is a "happens once in a thousand years" event. Oh, but the emotional sorrows about Buffys demise, and Taras "two forces who fought" really got to me.

Makes me wonder what Faith will do if and when she finds the guilty ones. Will she leave it at that, or will she try to take revenge on the merpeople? Not the wisest thing to do, attacking merpeople. Then again, it's not very wise to piss off Faith either, as we have seen most of the times.

I truly wonder where this will end...

[SithLordWiccan]

Devi: I'm glad you think this chapter was intense. That's what I really had hoped to pull off. I wanted Buffy's death to be the rock that thrown into their lives that would ripple outward and affect their actions for the rest of the fic. And I can promise that the ending will be very . Of course, that doesn't mean that the path to that will be rosy.

As for Willow planning her wedding, I was hoping to convey that if Buffy were accepting of the way she was, then others would be as well. That way, when she finally got around to getting married, she wouldn't think that the stigmata against same sex marriage would be apparent. And though she's in love with Tara, she's not ready to make that kind of commitment, regardless of what happened.

Nope, Lorelei isn't Tara's mother. You may recall from Chapter Five that I wrote that Tara's mother (who actually has a name that will be mentioned later on) was very much like she was. In fact, her death was because of her open refusal to believe that the cave where Lorelei and her mate made love was haunted. And that will be revisted as well.

Chris: I very much wanted to convey that in this chapter, yeah. It's important because, as you will see in this chapter, she will find out evidence that she will interpret as something that does implicate Willow in Buffy's death. It's my hope that in doing this, I can provide her with a more rounded characterization that I feel she deserves for being such a late addition to the story. As for Willow, I did want her to start coming around to Faith, even if she still doesn't fully trust her enough to reveal Tara and the mermaids to her. Of course, by the end of this chapter, it will all become moot, as the three of them will be meeting. And slag (and I) only know how that's going to go down.

As for what Tara's going to do, it's my hope that this chapter (and the next) will set that up rather well. And you're right in that the more contact between the two of them, the much worse off things will be. And thank you for saying that this fic is holding its own. The last few chapters have really rattled my cage and made me think I'm not that great of a writer. It's nice to hear that one of the board's best writers thinks this is great, regardless of how many times I've asked to strike/add a word (and may end up doing so again in a couple of days.)

Darkness: Thanks for the comments. I'm rather glad I got you to cry at those two moments, because I felt that's where an emotional high was needed. As for what Faith will do when she finds out what really happened, all I can say is stay tuned, because the answer's are coming.

OK, folks. I still don't think this chapter is ready for posting, despite the insistence of other people who think that I should post it regardless. (I'm looking at you, Emmy.) Still, like before, if a problem does crop up, I can always ask for it to be fixed later. (Chris seems to be understanding that way.)

In any case, here's Chapter Fourteen, hopefully not as bad as I think it is.

**

• Title: Under The Sea (Chapter Fourteen)
• Author: SithLordWiccan (Alex)
• Email address: decepticons_4_ever@hotmail.com
• Feedback: Feel free to leave it here. Or send me a e-mail. Or a PM. Or all three. I don’t really care. All comments read. Positive feedback welcomed, negative feedback to be collected, put in a rocketship and blasted into the sun.
• Distribution: Through The Looking-glass (http://www.uberwillowtara.com) Mystic Muse (http://www.mysticmuse.net)
• Rating: NC-17
• Disclaimer: This fic contains situations that may be considered unusual and strange to some. These include (but are not limited to) underwater sex between two females, breathholding and implied drowning. If any of this disgusts you, stop reading now and go find something else to do. This disclaimer is here for a reason: to let me off the hook so that I can feel free to go into as much smutty detail as I want without having to feel guilty about it. All "Buffy" characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
• Summary: Tara is a member of a race of undersea mermaids. Willow is a recreational diver who stumbles into their territory. Smutty underwater loving ensues.

**

[center]Chapter Fourteen[/center]

Willow was underwater, struggling to free herself from the discarded fisher’s net in which she had become entangled. Moaning around the regulator between her lips, she lamented her predicament. Why had she decided to go diving alone in the middle of the night? It was stupid of her to have done that. And when her head began to hurt, she should have realized that something was wrong and headed for the surface. But before she could, a wave of nausea had passed over her and knocked her out. When she came too, all she could think about was getting to the surface as fast as she could. Unfortunately, in her haste, she managed to completely miss, and thus get trapped in, this blasted net.

Panic rising in her chest, Willow tried once again to free herself, but only managed to make things worse. Pausing in her struggles, she grabbed the air pressure gauge hanging from her side and looked at it. Her eyes shot opened as she saw the needle nearing the red zone. Flailing about, she tried once again to free herself from the net, realizing that unless she got out now, or someone came to help her, she was going to run out of air and drown.

Willow’s frantic struggling paused as she saw a shape emerge from the depths of the sea, her fear evaporating as she recognized what it was. It was Tara, the luscious blonde mermaid coming to save the redhead, much as she had done before when Willow had been tossed overboard.

“She’s going to rescue me,” Willow thought, her fear and panic fading. “I knew that Tara would come to rescue me. I knew she wasn’t cold and heartless.”

But instead of moving to free Willow from her prison, Tara simply floated in front of her, a small smile beginning to form on her lips that suggested neither love nor compassion. Willow’s eyes shot open as she saw this, realizing that Tara hadn’t come to help rescue her, but was instead going to sit back and watch her drown. She screamed, the regulator falling from her mouth as she did, and continued to struggle against the source of her entrapment, hoping that Tara was just playing around and that seeing the redhead in genuine distress would convince her to come save her.

Clamping her lips shut, Willow stared pleadingly at Tara, noticing that her face was looking more menacing by the moment, all remnants of its former passivity gone. But thoughts of Tara and how she had been were driven from the redhead’s mind as she realized that she needed to get fresh oxygen into her lungs immediately, even though she knew that there was none available to her. Willow felt her chest heave as she finally exhaled, sucking a copious amount of sea water into her lungs as she involuntarily inhaled. Trying to force the foreign invasion out of her body only resulted in further intrusions, but Willow could not help herself. Her body quickly began filling with water, oxygen and her strength leaving her body with every convulsion she suffered.

And as her eyes began to glaze over, Willow could only stare vacantly at Tara’s face, an anguished look of pain and betrayal on her own. And watch as the blonde laughed at the redhead dying in front of her, her face cruel and contorted into one of devilish amusement.

**

Willow awoke with a start from her nightmare, the sheets knotted around her body as if she had been acting out the struggle that had taken place in her mind. Shivering, she realized then that her body was drenched in sweat and that her breath was coming in panicked gasps. Turning to look out the window, she could see that the sun was high in the sky, its rays shining through the window down on her body.

Turning around to look at the clock, she was surprised by the fact that it was approaching noon. Moving to get up, Willow glanced at her nightstand, seeing the pearl resting beside her lamp where she had put it last night. Looking at it now, with the memory of her nightmare still fresh in her mind, brought to the surface the redhead’s confusing, and still conflicted, feelings for the blonde mermaid. No matter how much she tried, Willow still couldn’t decide how to deal with the idea that Tara could have had a hand in Buffy’s death. And despite her attempt to send good feelings to Tara last night, and her constant attempts to tell herself that Tara had nothing to do with it, the nightmare she had just had made looking at the pearl now a difficult task. Doing so made her feel a mixture of the love she had always felt for Tara and the cold disgust that had been growing deep in the pit of her stomach that made her feelings for Tara questionable at best. Willow knew that her thoughts were making her feel like she was on a knife’s edge and could topple at any moment, and it didn’t really do a great deal towards making her feel any better.

Moving to the washroom, Willow took a quick shower, the water spraying against her body in a hard and unforgiving way, as if it was trying to remind her how much her love for it had played a role in the events of the last few days. Stepping out of the shower a few minutes later, she dried herself with a large towel and moved back to her room to put on a fresh pair of underwear and her bathrobe. Walking to the kitchen to make herself breakfast, Willow found herself moving to Buffy’s room shortly after making it, the majority of her meal uneaten on the table.

As she stood in front of the door to her best friend’s room, Willow’s hand moved to the knob as she mentally prepared herself to walk inside the room and see everything that would remind her of happier times with her best friend. Though some time had passed, the wound of Buffy’s loss was still fresh enough to make her prepare herself for what she was about to do. Pausing as her fingertips brushed the knob, Willow found herself walking back to her own room, entering it and looking once more at her nightstand, the pearl still resting on it.

Walking over and taking it into her hand, Willow thought about what she should do with the smooth marble. The thought that she should throw it out the window and let it smash into a million pieces on the ground below entered her mind briefly, but left just as quickly. No matter what Tara had done, it didn’t seem right to destroy something that was precious to her and that she had given to Willow freely. But could she keep it in her possession knowing that her feelings for Tara were still up in the air? What if she decided that she no longer loved Tara? What would she do with it then?

Willow’s thoughts shifted suddenly from what to do with the pearl to what she should do today. Packing up Buffy’s things was the first thing that came to mind. It was certainly important and something that she should do with the utmost haste. After all, the longer that it remained in the house, the more likely it would be that she would grow too attached to it and decide not to let it go. Better to get it all out of the house now before she decided to keep it all in a desperate hope to keep Buffy’s memory alive.

But on the other hand, perhaps she should, one way or another, find a way to bring closure to her feelings for Tara. It would certainly make packing Buffy’s things easier for her if she could decide how she truly felt about the one who could have played a role in what happened, now that she knew for sure what had happened. And despite her pain, Tara needed, and rightfully deserved, to know how she really felt about it.

Closing her hand around the pearl and feeling its energy course through her arm, Willow tried to project a message to Tara, trying also to keep her negative feelings from clouding her mind.

”Tara? Are you there? Can you hear me? Please…talk to me.”

**

Tara sat cross legged near the dwelling she kept inside the borders of her clan, glancing above at the surface of the water. Her attention, however, was focused on her private thoughts. She knew the geography of the area well, and knew that where she was sitting was near the exact center of her clan’s territory. And all around her were people that would harm her if they found out that the cause of their current fears and concerns was among them and had been spying on humans ever since she was a child. What could make the situation worse than that was having someone discover what she had done to Willow, not only magically, but physically. That would definitely make people think of her as a dangerous person that was bringing disaster down upon them all, much like they thought Lorelei had done in the distant past.

”I never wanted this,” she thought with disgust directed not towards her kind, and certainly not towards Willow, but towards herself. She had known that this was a potential consequence for her actions the moment this began. And she had taken every precaution to make sure nothing bad could happen. But she hadn’t counted on Willow bringing anyone else to see her. She hadn’t counted on the two of them entering their territory to do so. And though she knew that the Elders would do whatever necessary steps to keep their territory safe, she certainly hadn’t counted on their fears and prejudices making them paranoid enough to do something as drastic as killing an innocent person who unknowingly violated them. Those same fears and prejudices had been much a part of her life, yet they were so for reasons that she had, until recently, never really understood.

It was merely the latest obstacle in her struggle to fight between what she was because of her birthright and what she hoped to become through learning and experience. That struggle had eventually led Tara to Willow, who was the first to see her not as a creature that could bring harm down upon others, but as a person of love and care that was special in a way that only the redhead could understand fully. It had made Tara proud to know that Willow looked at her and saw the one link to a place that she had always dreamed of going, yet had until now, had never managed to find.

It was ironic that, despite all of her best efforts, the place Willow had always wanted to go had also been the place where her best friend’s life had been brought to an end. For that reason alone, Tara wanted to howl at the top of her lungs. It had been the first time she had to deal with more than suspicion and bigotry on the part of her clan, any injustices they may have committed before the Change being lost throughout time. She had never in her lifetime experienced an act as horrific as this and Tara hoped that she would never have to again.

Her thoughts turned away from the disgust she felt about the act and the hatred of her kind as she became aware of a subtle imprint against her mind. It was as if someone had placed a pair of fingers on the back of her skull and was attempting to work them through the skin in order to get into her head. Shutting her eyes and attempting to concentrate, Tara tried to figure out the source of the invasion into her mind, one she immediately identified when she heard a familiar voice in the intrusion.

”Tara? Are you there?”

”Willow!”

Although relieved to hear Willow’s voice, Tara quickly recognized that what was going on could easily discovered by anyone with magical talent. Unlike before, when the redhead had imprinted her feelings onto her, there was no danger of what was going on being discovered by anyone else, as there was little disruption in the currents and flow of the energies that could be detected. This time, however, with Willow actually communicating to her, there was a danger. And with the situation the way it was, with everyone on a heightened sense of alert, even the slightest of disruptions would be investigated with the utmost urgency.

Turning her head to look around, Tara breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed that there was no one taking apparent notice of what was going on. But that didn’t mean she was safe. What Willow was doing was unfocused, and thus could be easily felt by anyone with even the most basic magical talents. The chances were very good that anyone else who could interpret this would most likely pass it off as a mild headache, however, so that meant she had to act quickly before anyone could have the chance to interpret it as anything else.

”Willow?”

”Oh, Tara! I need…I need to talk. I’m going to come back to the place I was when we met…. first met! First met! I don’t want to come back to where we had come yesterday and find myself under attack by…whatever attacked Buffy. I…I think that we…need to talk. About us.”

Willow’s presence left her mind rather abruptly after that final statement, leaving Tara to wonder just what it was that she wanted to talk to her about. Why was she coming back to her? Didn’t Willow realize how much danger she was putting herself in by doing this? Of course she did. She had to. Buffy had been killed by others of her kind. Willow had to know this by now. So why was the redhead coming back to her?

It had to be love. It had to be the same love that Willow felt for Buffy and brought her to the decision to bring her to meet Tara. It had to be the same love that had brought the two of them together in the first place. It had to be the same love that had made both of them decide to join together in the one way that could never be taken away by anybody, not even themselves. And it was love that was going to bring Willow back to her, even though it could mean both of their deaths.

Tara tried to keep herself from crying, realizing what it was that Willow was doing. She was once again making a choice that could doom her life. Not only that, she was making a decision that could doom Tara’s own and those of her clan. But there was still one very vital question that was unanswered by her thoughts: what did Willow want to say that would make her decide to go to all this trouble and risk the potential danger that her actions represented? If she wanted to say that she didn’t want to be near Tara anymore, there were other options for her to do so. She could have spat out a rather blunt series of expletives that would be stamped into the blonde’s mind for the rest of her existence. She could have said absolutely nothing at all, the very situation that Tara feared the most. She could have even destroyed the pearl, an act that would have been easy for her to do, and the magical aftershock of which would definitely make an impression on her.

But Willow didn’t do any of those things. She said she wanted to talk. That was a start, and it meant that there was still hope for them. That bridge had already been built, and even though there were some loose planks, Willow’s words had given Tara the confidence that the redhead wanted very much to repair it. That meant she had to pursue it, regardless of the risk to either Willow or herself.

But how could she, with countless guards patrolling the borders by now and any attempt on her part to leave the borders only serving to confirm her role in what had happened to all?

Tara would find a way to circumnavigate them. She had to get to her private cave. She had to see Willow again.

Even if it was for the last time.

**

Faith’s sandal-clad feet slapped against the wooden planks of the docks, the noise created by her actions reminding her of the sound of breaking bones. And, by association, her uncomfortable feelings that she had felt towards dealing with Buffy’s body the previous day when she had been fearful of breaking the blonde’s limbs as she worked them out of her wetsuit. Trying not to think about that, she instead cast her thoughts back on what she had done since encountering Willow.

Returning to the homeless shelter, she wondered why, with the income that had come from her lifeguard job, she would choose to continue to live in a dumpy, run down building on the bad side of town. It was a simple question that had an even simpler answer, at least in her mind. She did it because, although she was working hard and had the ability to live a better life, she didn’t want to forget where she had come from. If she started to live the good life, she would grow accustomed to it. And in her experience, it didn’t do any good to try to hold on to that which she knew would never last.

Besides, of all the places she had lived in during her trip to California, it was at that building where her life, a life without trouble, fear or the stigma of being labeled, had really started.

And it was all thanks to that mysterious stranger. Even today, Faith could easily recall the events that had happened the day she had met the man she only knew as Angel. Looking at him, she could immediately tell that he was someone who tried to find the good in everybody, no matter how they acted or how they looked. That had been something in her favor, as she had walked into the shelter that night wearing an ensemble that could only describe as “colorful”, though anyone else would have made far less tactful comments.

Angel took her into a room and asked that Faith talk to him about her life. She did, telling him everything about her past and what her life had been like at home, including how much she enjoyed swimming in the water and how she considered it a means to cleanse herself of the pain she often felt when dealing with the pressures of real life. As the conversation continued, Faith began to realize that she was doing most of the talking. All Angel had done was nod politely and say that he understood what it was that the brunette was saying.

And when Faith had finished talking, he had said something that would affect her for the rest of her life.

”Going down the path you’re on now will only ruin you, Faith. I think you know this; otherwise you wouldn’t be trying to do something about it. But you don’t have to go to the extreme in order to make a difference in other people’s lives. Sometimes the most powerful change can come from the gentlest strike. You’re a rare breed, Faith. You’re a person who genuinely wants to do right, even if you have to do something you don’t want to do in order accomplish it. And even though you’ve have a rough life, you keep caring about others. That makes you special. And someone like you can do well in the world…if you know how.”

It was then that Angel recommended that Faith get into the lifeguard business. He thought that it was the best way to combine the brunette’s two passions: helping others and swimming. And Faith couldn’t deny that it had done wonders for her life. She had a purpose now, she knew that she would be doing her best to make other people feel safe, and best of all, she had made a friend that would be proud of her and one that, unlike the others she had made during her travels, she would never lose.

At least, a friend Faith thought she would never lose. Thinking about Buffy made the weight of her loss crash against her once again; a dull ache the brunette knew she would have for a long time. Faith wondered if it would ever fade. Could she go on with her life without being haunted by this memory? Perhaps not, but at least she could try to make the impact she would get from dwelling on that less forceful by finding out what had happened. And since she wasn’t going to get it from Willow (which, despite what had happened between them, did more than enough to keep her suspicions of the redhead firmly in the back of her mind), she was going to have to find it herself.

Walking up to the rental agency office, Faith looked at the man on duty, hoping he could give her the answers she wanted. “Hi, I’m Faith. We talked earlier in the day?”

“Ah, yes,” the man replied, a small sparkle in his crystal blue eyes. “You’re the young woman who inquired to us about looking into our boat rental records.”

Faith nodded.

“If you don’t mind, miss, can I ask why?”

Faith licked her dry lips, knowing that it was going to be difficult to get what she wanted. “I’m…investigating an incident that happened the other day at Santa Monica Beach. I have reason to suspect that it happened out in the ocean, and I wanted to see who has been out there recently.”

The man gave her a quizzical glance. “Are you a cop, miss?”

Faith paused, but realized that she couldn’t lie. It wasn’t in her nature to deceive anyone, even when it was for the greater good. “No.”

The man went back to his paper. “Then I’m afraid I can’t let you see the records. You would need to get a warrant before we can allow you to do that.”

Faith swallowed hard. She knew that it wasn’t going to be easy to get what she wanted. And the clerk’s refusal to help meant that she would have to resort to less acceptable acts in order to get what she wanted. Taking off her hat, she shook her head, shaking out her hair to its full length. She then stretched her arms behind her head, displaying her impressive chest, barely covered by the white tank top she wore, for all to see. It disgusted her to have to do this, reminding her of the times when she had to resort to selling her body on the street in order to get money. She only hoped that it would have the desired effect she wanted, and that it would come quickly, lest anyone besides her target get the wrong impression about what she was doing.

Looking up, the man saw the private display of Faith’s charms and blushed. “But I guess I can make an exception in your case, miss. Come on in, and I’ll get you started.”

**

Faith was disgusted by what she had to do in order to get what she needed, but at least it had been worth it. She sat in front of a desk, a couple of binders open on top of it. She had taken one, which contained the records of the people who had rented boats for the previous six months, and gone over it, starting at the previous day and working her way backward over the past three months. And though there were many names listed, one stood out among the rest.

Willow Danielle Rosenberg.

Seeing that name on the majority of the pages she had gone through made Faith’s suspicions about the redhead resurface. Willow had said that she had nothing to do with what happened. Even if that were true (and she still didn’t firmly believe that), what reason did she had to take a boat out nearly every weekend for the last three months, presumably all by herself? What exactly was it that she did out there?

Rubbing her chin, Faith closed the binder and set it aside. Getting up, she made her way to the door and stepped out of the building. As she turned around, she saw a very familiar face walking down the wooden pathway towards the rental office, head thankfully tilted down and unaware of what was in front of her.

Moving to hide behind one of the nearby docked boats, Faith watched as Willow, whom she now noticed was holding a bag in one hand, walked up to the building and began to talk to the clerk. It was all the brunette could do to stop herself from confronting the redhead right then and there. If she did, she knew that she would never know what it was that Willow was up to.

Something about the situation still gnawed away at Faith. She desperately wanted to believe that Willow had nothing to do with Buffy’s death, no matter how much the evidence continued to point in the opposite direction. The reaction she had given to being accused of Buffy’s murder had certainly confirmed to her that the redhead could not have known about what happened. But Faith knew from past experience how easy it could be for one to manipulate the emotions of another, and it would certainly have been easy for Willow to toy with her on this issue, making a joke out of the fact that she had killed Buffy and, worse than flaunting it to the brunette’s face, insisting that she had nothing to do with it.

And being the type of person who would believe almost anything under those circumstances, Faith naturally took all in hook, line and sinker. Even though she still had doubts after what had happened the previous day, she had mostly shoved them to the side out of respect to Buffy. Faith knew that the blonde wouldn’t want her to be thinking ill of her best friend. But given what was now readily apparent, she felt foolish at how easily she had been tricked.

And muttering a silent apology to Buffy, she realized that disrespecting the dead may be justified if she was doing so to the blonde’s murderer. Watching Willow walk off, Faith cautiously moved out of her hiding place and headed back to confront the clerk at the rental building. “What was that about?”

“Excuse me?”

Jerking her thumb back, Faith said, “The redhead who was just here. What did she want?”

“Oh, her,” the man replied. “She comes in every weekend and rents a boat. I guess she just loves the ocean a bit too much. This is the third time this week she’s been here. Yesterday she came in with a blonde, but I remember that she came back alone looking pretty distressed, as if something had happened while she was away.”

Faith’s resolve hardened at hearing the man’s words. She had been willing to give Willow the benefit of the doubt out of respect for Buffy. But now that she had evidence that could support her earlier assumptions, Faith was going to confront Willow and find a way to wring a truthful answer about what happened out of her. And this time, she wouldn’t accept anything less than the truth.

“I need to borrow a boat.”

**

Willow sat on the boat, looking out at the water around her. Unlike her previous trips into the deep, it was somewhat of an effort for her to do so. For the longest time, she felt as if the ocean was the only thing in her life that made her feel complete. And now the one thing that had given her comfort and love had seen fit to both give to her and take away the only two people who could understand how she truly felt about it.

She shook her head, realizing now that what she was thinking simply wasn’t true. It had become painfully obvious to her that as much as Buffy understood her, Tara understood her more. But the redhead still couldn’t help but wonder how much of that was lies and deceit. The blonde mermaid had seemed so sincere, and yet the events that had happened since they had met caused her to question how sincere Tara really was. Willow desperately wanted to believe that Tara had nothing to do with what had happened, and she knew that there was only one way she was going to find out.

Getting to her feet, Willow began to strip out of her clothes until they were piled in front of her. Hesitating for a fraction of a second, she moved to take off her bra and panties as well, setting them down on top of the bundle. As she stood naked in the center of the boat, the breeze caressing her bare skin, Willow suddenly became aware of the fact that her hands were beginning to play across her body, her right drifting across her taut stomach before moving up to breeze between her breasts while her left moved to graze at the red curls of her sex.

Quickly realizing what she was doing, Willow forced herself to stop. As she did, a sense of guilt draped itself over her body. This is what the water had done to her; it made her unknowingly do things she knew were dangerous and stupid. The redhead, in realizing this, also realized that Tara may not have changed her at all. Maybe she had always been like this, using the fear and shame she felt about keeping her fetish for swimming and diving private as an excuse to keep her from doing to harm not only herself, but to others. If she hadn’t snuck into that pool, she never would have taken up diving. If she had never taken up diving, then she wouldn’t have knowingly violated the territory of a secretive and private race. And if she had never done that, she wouldn’t have met…

Willow was quickly growing more confused about what was going on in her mind. If things hadn’t happened the way they had, then she never would have met Tara. And it made her feel guilty to think about what may have happened to her had she never met the luscious blonde. True, Buffy would still be alive, but she would still be a paranoid recluse, keeping her private self a secret for much longer than she had until she let it out to Buffy in a different way. Would she still be alive if she had done that? Perhaps, but perhaps not.

And as much as Willow couldn’t shake the insignificant, yet ever present negative feelings she had begun to feel towards Tara, Willow couldn’t completely lose the powerful feelings she had for her either. She had done nothing wrong, after all. True, she did keep the secret of her clan’s xenophobia, but she did eventually tell her. Yes, it didn’t happen in the most flattering way, but it did happen. And if Tara really had anything to do with what happened to Buffy, would she really have done that?

This realization made it all the more important for Willow to talk to Tara, if for no other reason than to ask for her help in sorting through the jumbled thoughts of her mind. Picking up the bag she had brought with her, Willow withdrew a mask and a pair of fins, slipping them both onto her body. Moving to the side of the boat, she stepped off it, hit the water feet first and began to swim towards Tara’s private cave, hoping all the while that she would not suffer the same fate that her friend did.

[Willowtree252]

dibs i loved the update faith is going to cause so much hell. poor willow and tara so much love not much trust i hope everything will be ok

[Willowlover]

I like the way this story is going. I cant wait to see what happens with faith.

[Artemis]

They're in a bit of a bind, really - Tara can't go to anyone for help (Baji for advice, to a point, but her clan remains hostile by and large), and nor can Willow. In fact, having lost Buffy, she's in the position where the only person she could even try to seek help from in 'her world' without dragging in some stranger is Faith, and Faith's got no idea what's going on - the only way for her to be brought off her current path would be to reveal everything to her. And 'everything' already looks kind of suspicious - even Willow's having nightmares about Tara, born (one suspects) from her real doubts. It'd be next to impossible to believe that Faith wouldn't share those doubts - not just share them, but embrace them, if she were in Willow's place. Tara's been the only positive to come from under the water so far, and only Willow has experienced her, and lived. Everything else would only convince Faith that the merpeople should be feared.

Hmm I like the touch of magic with Willow and Tara - it'll be interesting to see whether and how Tara raises that when they meet, the danger of it being discovered. There's so much going on that it seems they never really get to talk about all of it - the moment they've opened up to each other, events tumble on and they get swamped in a bunch of new dangers and doubts.

[Devi Crystalseeker]

Such a heartrending chapter once again, what with Willow's doubts (as coming out in her nightmare) and all. And with Faith following her, things can only get worse (for now), right? *wibbles*

Good job!

[SithLordWiccan]

Dianneswillowtree: Faith is indeed going to cause trouble, though not just yet. And yeah, there's a lot of mistrust between our girls at the moment, though I think this chapter will do a great deal towards them rebuilding the bridge of their love. Thanks for reading.

Willowlover: Well, this chapter does give kind of a hint as to where she's going, though it won't be until the next one until we find out what happens to her. Thanks for reading.

Chris: I'm really glad that you pointed out the fact that losing Buffy has made it difficult for Willow to seek help from anyone, especially Faith, who stands a better chance of actually doing more harm than good. That's one half of the reason why I decided to take that route (the other half of the reason becomes obvious later). I agree with you that it might be a good idea on Willow's part to reveal everything that has happened to Faith, but on the other hand, it might not be a good idea. On the one hand, Willow feels the need to protect Tara and the mermaids, even though they've dealt her a grievous blow. And on the other, given that Faith's suspicions about Willow are starting to rise again, it's unlikely that she'll believe anything she has to say, even when its the honest truth.

I'm also glad that you pointed out the nightmare. I found the comments you wrote about the dream she had earlier (in Chapter Six, I think it was) interesting, and I decided that I wanted to do that again, but on the opposite side of the coin. The inspiration for the scene, incidentally, came from watching an online drowning clip I recently found. (Apparently there is a market for underwater drowning that some people find erotic. Who knew?)

With Faith going after Willow and thinking that she's up to something, it's going to be rather interesting for her to find Willow with Tara. Not only that, but by unknowingly being the cause for which the other mermen discover Tara and Willow together.

As for whether or not Tara will bring up the problem of what will happen when (and not if) it gets discovered, well, there is one secret about this fic that I want to keep revealed until later, but when it happens, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Devi: Yeah, things will get worse, as shown in this chapter. But don't worry. Being the Kitten Board, no matter how bad things get, Willow and Tara will be together by the end of the fic. As for how that will happen, I hope that it will be surprising. It's at this point that I'm really working towards the conclusion I had back when I first started writing this, so I hope I can get it right.

And speaking of getting it right, I wanted to thank you for your special help in getting this latest chapter done. That way, I know I can post it without having errors get pointed out to me later and needing to fix it. Thank you very much.

[hr]

• Title: Under The Sea (Chapter Fifteen)
• Author: SithLordWiccan (Alex)
• Email address: decepticons_4_ever@hotmail.com
• Feedback: Feel free to leave it here. Or send me a e-mail. Or a PM. Or all three. I don’t really care. All comments read. Positive feedback welcomed, negative feedback to be collected, put in a rocketship and blasted into the sun.
• Distribution: Through The Looking-glass (http://www.uberwillowtara.com) Mystic Muse (http://www.mysticmuse.net)
• Rating: NC-17
• Disclaimer: This fic contains situations that may be considered unusual and strange to some. These include (but are not limited to) underwater sex between two females, breathholding and implied drowning. If any of this disgusts you, stop reading now and go find something else to do. This disclaimer is here for a reason: to let me off the hook so that I can feel free to go into as much smutty detail as I want without having to feel guilty about it. All "Buffy" characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
• Summary: Tara is a member of a race of undersea mermaids. Willow is a recreational diver who stumbles into their territory. Smutty underwater loving ensues.

[hr]

[center]Chapter Fifteen[/center]

Bringing her boat beside the one Willow had abandoned, Faith looked around, raising a hand to shield her eyes from the sun. Seeing nothing that looked out of the ordinary nearby, she peered into the boat, finding a small pile of clothes inside. Picking up the shirt, she recognized it as the one that she had seen Willow wearing earlier. The brunette’s brow creased in thought as she wondered why Willow would want to be naked out in the middle of the ocean.

She realized, however, that the answers to those questions didn’t really matter at the present time. What did matter was that the clothes provided evidence that Willow was somewhere nearby. And when she found her, Faith would get the answers she wanted. Moving to collect the scuba gear she had rented along with the boat, she stripped out of her tank top and shorts, revealing the lifeguard swimsuit that she had gone back to the shelter to put on, knowing she would have to go into the ocean. The swimsuit that, Faith noted soberly, still had traces of Buffy’s blood across it. Faith never had time to wash it after she got home last night. And to be honest, she wasn’t sure if she was ever going to do it. Thinking for a moment about that, the brunette wondered if she was trying desperately to cling to the past by not washing her swimsuit. By not doing that, was she trying to preserve something of Buffy’s life in her mind? Was that psychologically sound? Surely being reminded on a daily basis of the blonde’s death wouldn’t do wonders for her mental health.

But the simple truth of the matter was that she didn’t have anything else to wear that was appropriate for what she had to do. And it had been a good idea to wear her tank top and shorts over it as she went to the dive shop, since anyone who looked her way (and given her figure, most people did) would no doubt see the blood and start to get ideas that Faith really didn’t want others to start cultivating about her.

As she moved to strap on the gear, Faith hoped that Willow hadn’t gone too far. And that despite what she had just learned, she could phrase her comments more diplomatically. All things considered, it would be easier for her to get the answers she wanted from Willow if she didn’t snap at her like she did last time.

No matter how badly she wanted to.

**

Willow glided through the ocean, breathing as easily as if she were breathing from a tank. Despite all that had happened, it was still an incredible and indescribable feeling for her to be able to do this, and she knew that it should be making her happier than she had ever been. But no matter how much she wanted to enjoy what she was doing, the knowledge of her ability’s origin, mixed with her feelings towards the task at hand, unsettled her. Her concern was no longer out of fear for what happened to Buffy, but the unshakable feelings of worry about how to explain her recent revelations to Tara.

She had been thinking about it ever since she had woken up, and the more she had, the more Willow realized that no matter what evidence could be presented to convince her otherwise, Tara had nothing to do with what had happened to her best friend. If there was one thing that Willow knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was people’s capacity for doing things in the heat of the moment they later regretted. After all, if she hadn’t been such a spaz about revealing her deepest secret to Buffy, Willow wouldn’t have felt the need to invite her to go visit Tara, and the blonde would still be alive. And though Tara had no real role in what happened, there was no doubt that she was blaming herself for everything. After all, in her mind, she had hurt Willow. And Willow could only imagine how much that was troubling Tara, knowing how important her safety was to the blonde.

They were both going through an incredible amount of pain right now, and Willow hoped that each of them could help the other through it. Seeing Tara’s cave as she came back to the present, Willow looked around to see if there was anyone nearby, then swam towards the entrance. Pausing for a moment to collect herself, she entered the cave, one hand moving to graze the stone wall.

**

Sitting on the edge of the boat, her back to the water, Faith clamped her lips around the regulator of the tank and drew a breath, the act causing a burst of air to travel down her throat. She smiled around the device, thankful that the equipment she had rented was in proper working order. Not that she believed that it was damaged or anything, but it never hurt to make sure. After all, she was putting her life in the hands of equipment that was not her own and could fail at any moment. Even though she had worked well with others and was as much a team player as her job required, she still found it difficult to put her life into the hands of anything that might not be dependable. It had a lot to do with the way she lived. Living on her own for as long as she had didn’t make it easy for her to open up to others about her feelings. Buffy had been the only one with whom she felt comfortable doing so, and now she was gone. It would have been easy for Faith to believe that the fact that she had opened herself to Buffy was the reason why she was gone. But that wouldn’t do her any good. Willow was still the only one who could explain what happened.

Having already put on her fins and weight belt, Faith moved to slip her mask on over her eyes and nose. Once it was on, she secured both it and the regulator to her face with one hand and dove into the water. The minute she hit it, Faith immediately felt a tingle pass across her body, a feeling that persisted and began to grow as she swam away from the boat, the only sound she heard the rhythmic pulse of her own breathing. As the tingling of her skin intensified, Faith began to think how funny it was that she had never thought about doing this before. Having been taught the basics of diving while being trained as a lifeguard, she knew how to do it without putting herself in danger. And since she knew how, she could have easily decided to do it during her free time. But it had never really occurred to her to go diving for anything other than rescuing trapped individuals from boat wrecks and downed planes. And it really made sense for her to think that. Doing things for the fun of it wasn’t something that she did very often. The minute she started doing something for her own enjoyment, it became less about helping others and more about fulfilling her own desires. And she never wanted to do that. Other people came before she did.

And it was because of other people that she was here. She wanted to make sure that she had a reason for Buffy’s untimely and unnecessary demise. The time for letting Willow off the hook had long passed. And one way or the other, Faith was going to get an answer now.

Looking around, Faith tried to see if there was anywhere that Willow could have gone. Seeing no evidence of either the redhead or a place where she could hide nearby, Faith began to swim around, looking to see if there was any place for Willow to run off.

**

Tara sat on the rocks inside her cave, waiting for Willow to arrive. She could feel that the redhead was close, her unmistakable imprint permeating through every one of Tara’s senses. Despite her happiness at knowing that Willow was coming, Tara was still unsure about what it was that she wanted to talk to her about. The apprehension Tara felt before was amplified tenfold now, knowing that the redhead had decided to come to her to discuss it, something that Tara couldn’t believe Willow would do. For her to do what she was doing was incredibly risky and dangerous to her life.

It was easy for Tara to feel so conflicted about Willow approaching her. Being in the redhead’s presence was something that had brought her incredible pleasure every time it had happened before, even if every time had been punctuated by an incident that had cast a cloud over her feelings. That cloud had done a great deal towards making her fearful about what was happening now. In order to get past the patrols guarding the borders of her colony, she had used her magic to cloud her presence. It was a simple spell, and one that could be easily enacted without anyone noticing a major disturbance in the life force of the Mother Ocean. But that still didn’t make Tara feel better about doing it. If anyone were to discover that she was missing, the Elders would send someone to search for her. And if the search party were to find her together with Willow, then they would both be in trouble.

Tara tried to push those thoughts from her mind, telling herself once again how much the perfect union she and Willow had formed would be good for the entire clan, no matter how much the Elders claimed otherwise. It was starting to become her mantra. Every time she thought about the negative aspects of her current situation, she would repeat that what she was doing was for everyone’s benefit. It helped to assuage her fear for a time, but it would always come back, stronger than it had been before.

For a fleeting moment, Tara wondered if it would ever reach the point where even saying that wouldn’t make her feel any better. And for an even briefer moment, she almost wished that someone from the clan would find the two of them together. Then she would be able to show them without any fear or doubt how much love could indeed bring about a much needed change in the way they lived. But the thought was too selfish to remain in her mind for very long. For while Tara wanted to show others that she loved Willow very much, she also wanted the redhead to be safe. And she couldn’t have both.

Turning her head to look into the water below, she saw someone approaching. Recognizing it as Willow, Tara faintly smiled as she saw the redhead approaching the surface, the fear and trepidation she still felt within her heart making it less prominent on her face. But she promised herself to try and make sure that her happiness would be apparent to Willow. Despite all that had happened before, Tara knew that both of their lives would change forever in the next few minutes, and she didn’t want her fear to be a negative influence.

**

Breaking through the surface of the water, Willow was pleased to see Tara lying nearby, as if she had been waiting for her to arrive. Not that it was surprising to find her here. After all, this was her private place. But Willow thought that she would have to wait for her to show up. Something about the way that Tara held herself, however, made Willow feel uneasy. Although she no longer felt any hostility or suspicion towards Tara, Willow couldn’t help but feel that the blonde was once again keeping something from her. Whatever it was, she hoped that Tara would have the courage to tell her. After all, there should be no secrets between friends. And if they truly considered each other friends despite all that had happened, revealing that secret would be the first act in rebuilding the bridge they had made that the actions of others had nearly shaken apart.

Swimming over, Willow moved to join Tara on the rocks, the faintest of smiles on her lips. “Hi…Tara.”

“Hi, Willow,” Tara said in reply, then cast her gaze down over Willow’s nude body. Noticing this, Willow let out a small chuckle. “I…I thought that you might like to see me…like this.” She then looked deep into the blonde’s eyes.

“Tara, I need to tell you something…”

Tara turned away, raising a hand. “Please, Willow. If you have come to say your goodbyes, then please do it quickly. It’s…it’s not safe for us to be together anymore.”

Concerned about Tara’s feelings, Willow reached out and brushed her fingers across the blonde’s arm. Tara held back the impulse to flinch at the touch, knowing that it might be the last time Willow could do this to her, and she wanted the redhead to enjoy the touch of their bare skin together. “Tara, please. Let me explain. I…I feel bad about what happened.”

Tara raised an eyebrow. “About what? Willow, you shouldn’t feel sorry about what happened. It was my clan that killed Buffy and harmed you. We brought great pain down onto you.”

“No, Tara. You didn’t do that to me. Your kind didn’t do that to me. I...I did it to myself.”

Tara could feel something change with Willow’s statement, and cast her senses out to pick up on the source of the change. She was surprised to find that it was coming from Willow herself. The redhead’s aura, vibrant with passion and life during their previous encounters, was now cloaked in a blanket of insecurity and pain. It was a feeling Tara knew all too well, having felt very much the same way when she had feared to tell Willow that she had nearly caused the redhead’s death.

“But how…”

Willow looked at Tara, noting the confused look on her face. Hoping that what she was about to say would be more understandable, Willow continued, “I…I never really talked to anyone in high school. You know, aside from Buffy.” Willow involuntarily winced at the sound of Buffy’s name, the pain from her loss still too recent. Seeing Tara do likewise, she looked around the cave before continuing, “I told you that…water is something…special to me. And I always feared that if I told anyone, they would make fun of me. I was afraid that people would make me feel like I didn’t belong. That I was…I was weird. I…I guess I started using that as an excuse to explain why I could never…never really be open about myself to anyone.” At Tara’s curious stare, she quickly added, “I mean, having told you and Buffy, I know now that it’s not that big of a thing. But back then, I let it eat away at me until I managed to convince myself that it was something about me that was bad and shouldn’t…”

Her eyes tearing up, Willow looked away from Tara and glanced out at the water. Crawling over to the edge of the rocks, she extended a finger and dipped it into the liquid. Raising it after a few moments of immersion, she watched water drip from her fingertip. “I let that kind of thinking rule my life, taking me to a place I didn’t really want to go. But, as much as I don’t like where it took me, I can’t…”

Turning back to look at Tara, Willow tried to smile, the roller coaster her emotions were riding making it difficult for her to make it seem genuine. “I can’t really…argue about what I found.”

Tara stared at Willow as if the redhead had suddenly sprouted a second head. “Willow?”

Willow choked down a sob, her resolve to keep herself under control slipping with each passing moment. “Tara, I’m sorry. I really am. I never should have thought that you…that you had anything to do with what happened to Buffy. It was my fault. All my fault. It could never have been you.”

Tara couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Was Willow really accepting the blame for what had happened? It was certainly noble of her, but it wasn’t right. “But it was, Willow. I know it was. At least, I think it was. I don’t know. I had to have done it somehow. I didn’t plan for every problem. I didn’t take everything into account. I was so concerned about your life that I never thought about…”

Crawling back to where Tara sat, Willow brushed away a strand of the blonde’s hair that had been covering her face and stared directly into her eyes. “No, Tara. Don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t you. It couldn’t have been you. I know how kind and caring you are. Like I said before, you wouldn’t have saved me if you weren’t. And besides…I can’t really blame you for what they did to Buffy. I mean, that wouldn’t be fair, and I don’t like to form opinions about other people right away.” She blushed slightly. “Well, except in one case, but I think I’ve been able to work things out with this person. At least, I hope so.”

Willow’s words made Tara nervous. “Willow, this person, can…Can you tell me about her?”

Willow could detect the uneasiness in Tara’s voice, but wasn’t sure what was its cause. Did the blonde fear that another person had been made aware of the secret of her clan? Of course she did. What Willow had said made it appear as if she had done exactly that. Of course, Willow had done no such thing. She never would betray Tara’s secret to anyone. All Faith knew about what happened was that Buffy had been killed by unknown assailants. She had no way of knowing that Buffy had been killed by a race of xenophobic underwater people.

That made it somewhat easier to tell Tara about Faith. “Well, she’s someone I disliked because…because I was afraid of her. And it reminded me of how I felt when I first met you.” Seeing Tara flinch at this, she quickly added, “But it was different. I mean, I grew to love you for who you are and look past the fact that others in your clan feel negatively about humanity.” Reaching out with one arm, Willow took Tara’s hand into her own and gently squeezed it. “And I do, you know. Love you, I mean. Never forget that.”

Tara smiled as Willow continued, “But with this other person, I immediately disliked her. It seems silly now, but at the time, I looked at her and knew that she was everything that I could have been had I been more…I don’t know. I mean, Faith might have been…”

“Faith?”

Willow tilted her head at Tara’s remark. “That’s her name. Faith. Anyway, I think that maybe I was…jealous, you know? That Faith might have been the person that I could have been if I had been…more open about who I really was. I mean, she was confident and charismatic and everything I always wanted to be.” She looked out into the water then, a pang of subconscious guilt hitting her chest as she realized that she was doing it again. Thinking like that made her believe that bringing Buffy to meet Tara was a good idea. And no matter what kind of a spin she tried to put on it, she was still making snap judgments about other people. And it hurt.

Willow felt a touch on her shoulder then, and turned to find Tara smiling at her. “Willow, you don’t need to change who you are. I mean…” The blonde’s words stilted and Willow could tell that she was thinking seriously about whether or not it was a good idea to say whatever it was that she had to tell her.

“Tara, whatever it is that you have to say, please tell me. I won’t be afraid.”

Tara looked away, her face disappearing behind her long hair. “Willow, I don’t know how to say this, but…” She began to sniffle, tears welling up in her eyes. “I…I’ve done things that I never would have done before had I not met you. I broke the rules of my clan; I endangered both my life and yours; I kept Buffy’s death a secret. And I did it all because…I love you, Willow.”

Willow was caught off guard by that statement. Although it was something she had been wondering for a long time, to actually hear it come from Tara’s lips was quite a surprise. It also shattered some of the doubts and fears that she still subconsciously held. It hurt her, however, to know that not all of them had completely disappeared with Tara’s words. There were still some lingering concerns about why Tara had said that. Obviously saving her life and making love to her should have been enough to prove to Willow that Tara did feel that way, but on some level, she needed more. “You do?”

Tara shook her head. “I do, Willow. From the moment when I first met you, I felt something for you. It was as if a connection had been made between us. One that’s…different from anything I’ve felt towards anyone else. I’ve never felt the way I do about you before. And…and I’m willing to do…whatever it takes…to make you…h…happy and s…sa…safe.”

And with that, the lingering doubts that Willow still had towards Tara disappeared completely. Enveloping the blonde in a hug, Willow squeezed tightly, feeling the touch of Tara’s skin against her own. It was a comforting touch, one that made her feel comfortable and safe, as if she was wrapped in a security blanket. Knowing that Tara would protect her from all the dangers that would come made her feel as if there was nothing that could harm them.

Suddenly she could feel a change in Tara’s demeanor, the comforting sense of her warmth changing rather abruptly to a cold dread. Looking into Tara’s eyes, Willow could see them growing clouded with worry.

“Tara? What is it?”

Tara looked at Willow, fear rising in her chest. Somewhere in the ocean, a monumental shift had just taken place, one that foretold of coming doom for both of them. Closing her eyes and reaching out with her senses, she could feel the familiar auras of several mermaids approaching the cave, including one who exuded power and authority. No doubt the Elders had found out she was missing and had decided to head out themselves to find her. Along with the mermaids, Tara felt one other presence. It was this presence that bothered her more than the thought of the approaching Elders. She could feel very familiar impressions from this one. Whoever this person was felt very much like Buffy had when Willow had brought her here: concern and suspicion mixed with anger that clouded her judgment. This meant that whoever it was most likely wasn’t aware that she was being followed.

Opening her eyes, she looked deep into Willow’s green spheres, which, like her own, were beginning to grow concerned. And though the situation was indeed dire, Tara couldn’t bring herself to lie to the redhead. She couldn’t reassure her that everything was all right. But there was no way for them to realistically escape from here without being spotted by those approaching the cave. There was nowhere in the cave they could hide, either.

It occurred to Tara then that even if there was some way they could safely escape the cave, there was nowhere she and Willow could safely run to. They could try to hide, but with the mermaids’ magical ability to track her, there was nowhere in the ocean they could go where they wouldn’t be found.

”I had hoped to deal with this much later, if only to save Willow unnecessary grief now. But if it is the wish of the Goddess and the God to test me now, then it is not my will to dispute them. Let them come. Let whoever this unknown person is come. Let my clan come. I will show them all that peaceful relations with humanity can be achieved. And I will protect Willow with my dying breath. Goddess, may she know that what I do now I do out of my everlasting love and devotion for her. And that no matter what, I will always treasure the time we had together.”

**

Checking her air pressure gauge, Faith saw that she still had plenty of air. Comfortable that she would be able to continue her search for Willow for a few more moments, she turned and saw a cave nearby. With no other place in the immediate area that the redhead could have gone, it made her wonder why Willow would have gone there. Had she hidden something in there that needed to be recovered? It didn’t really matter, as far as she was concerned. All it meant was that Willow had trapped herself in that cave, and that the only way for her to get out was the way she had come, meaning that Faith had her cornered.

Deciding not to wait for her to come out on her own accord, Faith swam over to the entrance of the cave and took a look inside. It seemed reasonably safe, so she decided to continue. Hoping that she wasn’t making a mistake, the brunette kicked her feet and swam into the cave.

**

The mermen had first been alerted that something was wrong when the Elders sent word that someone among them had gone missing. Though the discovery had come through the use of magic, it was considered enough of a serious problem, in light of the current situation, to be investigated. It had taken several hours, but they had been able to discover that Tara, daughter of Miranda, was no longer among them.

This deeply concerned the Elders. Tara was something of a maverick in their society, and under normal circumstances would not have been allowed to get away with many of her transgressions, whether or not she was fully aware of them. But the death of her mother, at their own hand for doing many of the same things, had made them uncharacteristically forgiving towards her. Even though they knew that what they had done was necessary to preserve their way of life, they also knew that the loss of her mother had affected Tara deeply, and so they could not bring themselves to chastise her.

But in this circumstance, they were not going to let her get away with what she had done. She had used magic to deceive them. For what purpose, only the God and Goddess knew for certain. That act alone was cause enough to punish her, but her disappearance at this moment, when their society could be on the verge of invasion by surface dwellers once again, had given the group cause to wonder what role she could have played in bringing the humans to them.

Fearing a repeat of the situation that had happened with Lorelei so long ago, each of them set out with patrolmen to try and find her. But instead of finding her, one had found yet another human who had entered the water dangerously close to their territory and was making its way towards a small cave near their colony’s borders. Informing the others of what was going on, the group that spotted the human decided to follow her inside the cave.

They would eliminate this human from their waters. Then they would find Tara.

And then the Elders would punish her for what she had done, whether or not she had actually done it. If she had done anything, then her punishment would suit her crime. If she had done nothing, then her punishment would serve to discourage others from following in her footsteps.

One way or the other, Tara would suffer for this.

[Devi Crystalseeker]

You're welcome.

As I already told Sithy - powerful chapter once again; it literally brought me to tears!

[SithLordWiccan]

Devi: I'm kinda glad I got you to cry, though not in the way you're thinking. It was my hope that I can make the latter half of this fic an emotional roller coaster, and comments like that make me happy to realize that it's working. And thank you for your help in getting this latest chapter up.

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• Title: Under The Sea (Chapter Sixteen)
• Author: SithLordWiccan (Alex)
• Email address: decepticons_4_ever@hotmail.com
• Feedback: Feel free to leave it here. Or send me a e-mail. Or a PM. Or all three. I don’t really care. All comments read. Positive feedback welcomed, negative feedback to be collected, put in a rocketship and blasted into the sun.
• Distribution: Through The Looking-glass (http://www.uberwillowtara.com) Mystic Muse (http://www.mysticmuse.net)
• Rating: NC-17
• Warning: Character Death
• Disclaimer: This fic contains situations that may be considered unusual and strange to some. These include (but are not limited to) underwater sex between two females, breathholding and implied drowning. If any of this disgusts you, stop reading now and go find something else to do. This disclaimer is here for a reason: to let me off the hook so that I can feel free to go into as much smutty detail as I want without having to feel guilty about it. All "Buffy" characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
• Summary: Tara is a member of a race of undersea mermaids. Willow is a recreational diver who stumbles into their territory. Smutty underwater loving ensues.

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[center]Chapter Sixteen[/center]

“Tara, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Looking into Willow’s eyes as she asked that question, Tara couldn’t help but feel worried about her safety. After all they had done, and after all they had achieved, everything they created was about to be destroyed. She wondered briefly if she should voice her concerns. After all, keeping secrets from Willow had brought them to this point, and Tara knew that it would not be a good idea to keep something from her again; even if they were unable to do anything about it. And with nothing they could do to prevent what was to come, all Tara wanted was for Willow to enjoy what very well could be her last moment alive.

Enveloping the redhead in a hug, Tara spoke softly, “Nothing, Willow. Just enjoy this moment as if it were your last.”

To herself, she added, ”For it may very well be.”

**

Faith was beginning to think she had made the mistake she had hoped not to make. Searching the cave for more than ten minutes, she had yet to find any evidence that Willow was anywhere inside. Despite the danger of continuing on, she pressed forward, taking a moment to glance at her pressure gauge. Seeing that she was nearly out of air, Faith retraced the path she had taken to get here, and figured that if she turned around now, she could make it back to the surface before she ran completely out of air.

But if she did, she wouldn’t have the opportunity to confront Willow. For all Faith knew, the redhead was going to skip out of town after doing whatever it was that she was doing in here. For that reason alone, she decided to continue on. The risks were obvious. There was the danger of getting lost inside the cave, the chance that she could get trapped inside if the entrance were to somehow get blocked. And of course, there was the more likely danger of running out of air and drowning before she could find Willow.

Faith knew the dangers. But she also knew that there may never be another opportunity to deal with the redhead and find out the truth. She had to continue onward and try to find Willow, even if she were to die in the attempt.

A few moments later, she came to the entrance to a tunnel that branched off from the main path. Heading down it as breathing became more difficult, Faith hoped that wherever it was she was going led to a fresh source of air, otherwise she was done for.

Her eyes widened as she saw that the path she had taken lead into an underground cavern. Kicking a bit faster, her air nearly spent, Faith headed out of the tunnel and towards the water’s surface, hoping that Willow was here. With the air in her tank nearly gone, she found it ironic to think that the person who may have played a role in ending Buffy’s life could be the only one able to save her own.

**

Willow continued to hold onto Tara, the feel of the blonde’s skin against her own and the sound of their combined heartbeats the only things that mattered to her. The pain, confusion and hurt of the past few days was gone, replaced by the touch of the one who could comfort her in these trying times, a thought made somewhat ironic in that the actions of her kind, taken out of ignorance, were the cause of what had happened. Her head resting on Tara’s chest, Willow closed her eyes and savored the wonderful peace that she had found, a peace that was abruptly shattered when she heard three words in a very familiar voice.

“What the hell?”

Willow’s eyes shot open and looked out into the water to find Faith, clad in scuba gear and wearing her lifeguard swimsuit, staring right back at her. The brunette’s gaze turned slightly, and Willow realized that she was looking at Tara. Breaking her look on Faith, Willow turned to look up at Tara, seeing an expression on her face that the redhead immediately interpreted as one of resignation.

Reaching the rocks, Faith ditched her gear and reached for Willow’s arm. “Willow, get away from that!” Glancing down at Willow’s body, she added, “And why are you naked?”

Willow stubbornly refused to move, her mind barely registering the brunette’s question. “Faith, what are you doing here?”

“Looks like I’m saving you from the same thing that might have killed Buffy,” Faith replied, tugging on Willow’s arm hard and finally separating her from Tara.

“No, Faith,” Willow said, turning to look at the brunette. “You’ve got it all wrong. Tara had nothing to do with Buffy getting killed.”

Faith wasn’t buying what Willow told her. First she had said that she hadn’t done it, and then Faith had seen her go out, rent a boat and come out into the middle of the ocean. That alone was confusing, and Faith promised herself to inquire about that later. But to swim into the cavern and find her in the embrace of a creature that was clearly alien in nature? That defied explanation, rational or otherwise. “Oh, yeah? So if she had nothing to do with what happened to Buffy, how come the two of you look like you were celebrating something?”

Willow found that she was unable to answer that question. It wasn’t that she didn’t have an answer, of course. But the answer certainly wasn’t one that Faith was about to either genuinely accept or believe without comment, especially since doing so would put Tara in danger, making her worst fears about Faith learning of Tara’s existence come true. The last thing Willow really wanted to do was admit to Faith was that she was in love with Tara.

“Faith, you have to believe me…”

The movement of Faith’s hand had been too quick for her to catch, and thus Willow found herself unprepared for the strike of the brunette’s hand against her check. Her knees gave out as if someone had slammed into her and Willow collapsed to the ground. Tara was on her feet immediately and grabbed Faith’s wrist, clenching her own hand around it. Faith let out a strangled yelp of pain as she felt the bone break, looking at Tara with anger and reaching up to strike the blonde with her other hand.

That hand never reached its intended target, for Willow had gotten back to her feet then and rushed to block the incoming strike. “Faith, no! Listen to me!”

Faith struggled to release the hands on her wrists, but their grips were ironclad. “Red, are you shitting me? This…this thing killed Buffy!”

“No, she didn’t!” Willow all but screeched, her mind working at light speed, trying to find something to say. But what could she say that would make Faith understand what was going on? The only thing she could think of was the thing that could make everything worse. It pained Willow to realize that the only way to clear Tara’s name would be to admit to Faith that she had lied to her before, and that she was the one that killed Buffy. It wasn’t a lie, after all. She had done it. Not in the literal sense, of course, but she had done it.

Faith snorted of disgust. “Oh, yeah? Well, if you didn’t kill her, and neither did that,” she tilted her head towards Tara, eliciting a glare from both her and Willow, “Who did?”

Before Willow could give her answer, Tara released her grip on Faith’s wrist and collapsed to the rocks, clutching her head. Immediately letting go of the brunette, Willow moved to help the blonde to her feet. “Tara? What’s wrong?”

The words that came from Tara in response to the redhead’s question were nearly unintelligible to Faith, who was only able to pick out one or two words, and even that wasn’t enough to make sense out of what the blonde was trying to say. Willow, however, not only seemed to understand her, but turned pale at hearing it, indicating that it wasn’t anything good.

Getting to her feet, Willow grabbed Faith’s arm. “Faith, we need to go.”

The sudden change in the redhead’s attitude was a bit too much for Faith to take in. “Why?” Gesturing towards Tara, she asked, “What did that tell you?”

Willow growled and stared into Faith’s eyes. “Faith, Tara is not a thing. She’s a living, breathing person with feelings, and I would like it very much if you started respecting them.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Red,” Faith snapped, all pretense of trying to maintain calm around Willow abandoned. The redhead was obviously too enthralled by the strange blonde to think rationally, and that made her words more untrustworthy than she had originally decided to believe. She wasn’t about to be led along by any more games. Pointing to Tara, she continued, “For all I know, she put you under some kind of spell and made you do things you didn’t want to just to serve her own ends.”

The comment stung Willow. She had already wondered if that was a possibility for what had happened, so it didn’t really surprise her that Faith had come to that conclusion herself. After all, it was the only way to explain everything. That is, if you had no way of knowing what had really happened. And there was no way that Willow was going to be telling that to Faith anytime soon.

“Faith, I’m not kidding around. We’ve got to get out of…”

The sound of someone coming up through the water cut off her words, and Willow turned to see several people emerging from the water, making their way towards them. The redhead was struck by how similar they appeared to Tara: naked as newborn babies and scales placed at strategic locations around their bodies. The only thing that separated the newcomers from Tara was their expressions, at first merely angry, quickly turned darker at the sight in front of them.

One of them, apparently the leader of the group, looked at Tara. “Tara, what is the meaning of this?”

Tara found herself at a loss for words. “I…I…I…”

Willow spoke up first after seeing that Tara couldn’t answer the accusation inherent in those words. “Who are you to ask her that? She can make her own decisions without…”

“SILENCE!”

The voice was so commanding that Willow took a step backward out of reflex and, looking down at her body as if she were only now becoming aware of the fact that she was naked, made a half hearted attempt to cover herself in front of the newcomers.

Faith meanwhile, glared at the mermen, anger in her eyes. “So this is how it was, Red? Your little friend here couldn’t settle for killing one person, so she got a bunch of her pals together and decided that it would be more fun to lure other people down here to butcher like cows?”

Willow shook her head. “It’s not like that, Faith. Tara had nothing to do with what…”

“I SAID SILENCE!”

The merman pointed, and four of the other mermaids who had accompanied him swam forward, approaching the rocks. Willow stood her ground in the face of the approaching danger, not willing to leave Tara’s side no matter what happened. Faith, however, apparently deciding that the best defense was a good offense, swung her head around, trying to find the best possible route of escape.

“Faith, what are you doing?”

The brunette shot a glare at Willow. “What does it look like I’m doing, Red? You may want to sit there while Aqua Girl’s friends gut you, but I’m gonna try to get out of here, and if I can’t, then at least I’m going to go out fighting.”

Holding onto Tara, Willow looked up at Faith. “Faith, please! Don’t do anything hostile towards them! Maybe we can find some way to get out of this so that we don’t end up like…like Buffy…”

Faith paused in her frantic search for a weapon at that, finally realizing that Willow was right. It wouldn’t do her any good to do anything that could get her killed. But at the same time, she couldn’t just let these… these things take her prisoner. Turning to look at Willow one last time, a mixture of sorrow and pain on her face, she turned around and, as the mermen approached, ran straight at them, leaping over them as she closed in and diving head first under the water.

“FAITH!”

Willow’s cry was seconds too late to make a difference, and Faith was gone. Two of the mermen that had been approaching quickly spun around and headed off after her. It was a sight that made Willow’s heart sag. Buffy had been an accomplished swimmer and excellent at controlling her breathing well enough to dive at great depths, and neither of those talents had been good enough to save her from the aggression of the mermen. She didn’t know how good Faith was at that sort of thing, but somehow she realized that it didn’t matter. The mermen had, as Buffy would say, the home field advantage. And that fact made Willow realize with absolute certainty that Faith was never going to make it to the surface.

And she wondered for a moment that it might not be such a bad thing. That thought, coming out of nowhere, shocked Willow a great deal. It surprised her to know that, on a subconscious level, she truly didn’t want Faith to escape and that she wanted the brunette to die at the hands of the mermaids who had gone after her. Why did she want this? Did she truly hate Faith enough to want to see her dead?

Those were questions that certainly deserved more thought, but as the mermaids reached the rocks and made their way towards her, Willow realized that she wasn’t going to have time to figure them out.

**

Faith swam in a panic, hoping that she hadn’t made yet another mistake in deciding to swim away from Willow and the creatures. All that kept her going was the thought that they had to be after her by now. She knew that there was no chance in hell that those things were simply going to let her get away. That alone made it important for her to get out of here.

Especially considering that those things had the advantage in the current chase. Whatever they were, those creatures must have some way to breathe underwater. That left her at an immediate disadvantage, having left her own air supply back in the cavern. Even if she had remembered to grab it, it wouldn’t have mattered. Putting aside for a moment the fact that it was nearly empty, the extra weight would only slow her down. Speed was important in her escape. Not only because she needed to get away from those creatures before they caught up to her, but because she had to traverse the tunnels leading out of the cave and head back to the surface all on the strength of one breath.

Faith had to admit that the chances of her succeeding in that weren’t good. She wasn’t that good at free diving to begin with, though Buffy had been trying to help her out. Still, to go from the cavern to the surface probably would have been beyond even her abilities. And if Buffy couldn’t do it, then Faith didn’t stand a chance. But it was certainly preferable to sticking around with Willow. Doing that guaranteed certain death. Even though the chances of death were as likely in this situation, probably more so, at least she had a chance, no matter how infinitesimal it was, to get away.

Looking ahead, she could see the tunnel twisting around. Faith swam forward as fast as her legs could take her, her chest beginning to ache as she turned around another corner and saw the mouth of the cave off in the distance. Keeping her mouth closed, Faith smiled. All she had to do now was swim out of the cave and head back to the boat…

She felt a hand grasp at her ankle then, and turned to find two of the creatures behind her, one of them holding onto her ankle. Using her free leg, Faith kicked the creature in the head, causing his grip to loosen from her body. Taking off in a mad scramble, Faith tried to make it as far down the tunnel as she could before either of the creatures following her had a chance to get her again.

Unfortunately, the optimism she felt at escaping didn’t last long. Feeling a hand on her ankle once again, Faith struggled to try and free herself, but this time the grip was too strong for her to break in her increasingly weakened state. She grew more distressed as she felt another hand on the calf of her other leg, the two now working to tug her back in the direction she had just come.

Faith fought the urge to give up, but the fact that her chest was beginning to tighten from having held her breath for so long, along with her earlier exertion while trying to find the cave entrance, was making that difficult. Moaning as she felt the hands move up her legs, she struggled to free herself, the combination of the water and her lessening strength working against her to make her reactions languid and easily counteracted.

The hands of the creatures closed around Faith’s waist, turning her around and shoving her against the stone floor of the tunnel. Looking into their faces, Faith could see nothing but cold, dark hatred in their eyes. And as she watched one of them wrap his cold hands around her throat, she realized that she shouldn’t have dismissed Willow’s arguments so easily and that she should have listened to her when she had said to do nothing. Maybe she would not be in this position had she done that. Of course, she wouldn’t have been in this position in the first place if she had listened to Riley when he had told her not to get involved in something that wasn’t her business.

But Faith didn’t listen to Willow. She didn’t listen to Riley. They had been the voices of reason, the thing that normally saved her from doing something as stupid as this. But as far as Buffy’s death was concerned, she shut her own voice of reason off and refused to listen to anyone else. All that mattered to her was that she find out what happened. She just had to be the conquering hero, doing what she thought was right in order to avenge the blonde’s memory.

It was ironic to look at the situation she had found herself in now. In the brief time that she had known her, Faith had learned a lot about Buffy, and one of the things she knew was that Buffy was a kind and peaceful soul who didn’t want anyone to go to any amount of trouble on her account. For the briefest of moments, Faith wondered if Buffy was looking down on her from Heaven. She didn’t believe in God or Heaven or any of that religious stuff, but she couldn’t help but think that what was going on was the work of some higher being. Had Buffy been looking down on her, trying to tell Faith not to do what she was doing? Was this God’s way of trying to tell her that she should have listened to Willow and Riley and not gotten involved?

As Faith blew out her air in response to the force against her throat and involuntarily sucked seawater into her lungs, she began to realize that, for the first time, she had allowed her emotions towards others to cloud her judgment. She had tried hard throughout her life not to do that, but when it came to Buffy, she couldn’t help it. She was like Angel.

No. She wasn’t like Angel. She was an angel. And Faith knew that she was about to join her in the big ocean in the sky.

”I’m sorry,” she thought as she felt the telltale signs that signaled that she was about to drown to death. ”Willow…Angel…Riley…please forgive me. Buffy…I’ll be seeing you real soon.”

**

Tara visibly, and very violently, shuddered. Willow, arms held away from her body by the mermaids holding her prisoner, could only watch as the blonde dealt with feeling the death of Faith at the hands of the other mermen. It made her ill to see Tara like this. She had told Willow about how much she had been affected when Buffy had passed away. But caught up in the throes of passion at the time, Willow hadn’t paid much attention to what effect it had on her. But there was no mistaking the downtrodden look on Tara’s face or the closed off and shrunken form of her body. There was only one thing that could make Tara feel that way. And were it not for those holding her captive, Willow would have rushed forward to comfort her. But the mermaids would not allow it, having separated them rather violently, and the two that remained after the others went after Faith holding her off to the side as their leader approached Tara. All he had done for the past few minutes was simply stare at Tara, the expression on his face one of disgust and anger.

When he finally spoke, his words were even and without emotion. “Tara, daughter of Miranda, daughter of Celeste, you have violated the edicts of our clan. You have led other humans to our territory. You have committed the worst of crimes: making contact with a human and having them learn about us. What have you to say for yourself?”

As Tara looked up into the face of the other mermaid, Willow could see a change in her demeanor. Where before the blonde had been withdrawn and painfully shaken, now she was projecting an image of confidence and defiance, a far cry from the shy and closed off Tara that she had come to know.

“I did it because our way of life has become stagnant. We cannot continue to allow ourselves to believe that if we remain withdrawn from the surface world, we will be protecting ourselves. This very incident should show you beyond a shadow of a doubt that if we remain hidden and attack anyone who violates our territory, unknowingly or otherwise, we only serve to bring that which you do not want: unwanted attention to ourselves. It is a vicious cycle that we’ve been trapped in for years, ever since you denied the feelings of one very much like me.” Tara looked at Willow, hope sparkling through her eyes. “A mermaid who found love with a surface dweller and would do anything that she thought was necessary in order to protect the one that she loved.”

Turning her gaze back to the merman, she continued, “And if you feel it necessary to kill me for doing what I think is right for our society, then so be it. But do so knowing that my death will not prevent what you fear. The seeds have already been planted. And if others were to follow in my footsteps and begin to question why they are doing the things they do, then I will have done enough. You can kill me, but you cannot kill what I have begun here. You would need to kill our entire society to do that.”

The merman cast a glance towards one of the guards holding Willow and nodded. Keeping one hand on the redhead, the merman withdrew a knife from the sheath tied to his arm of his partner and passed it to their leader. Taking the weapon, the elder merman moved back and brought Tara violently to her feet. Her head cast down, her blonde hair covering her face, she did nothing to retaliate. Willow watched with growing concern, wondering what had happened to the confidence and self assuredness that Tara had just shown.

“Tara? What are you doing?”

Lifting her head, Tara looked at Willow. “What I must. Don’t you see, Willow? If they kill me, others would find out that the Elders are not above killing their own in order to maintain their secrecy. Then a change in the way we live will have to occur whether or not the Elders desire it.”

Willow saw Tara’s eyes tear over as she looked at the merman. “But please…if I am to die, let me do so with the knowledge that Willow will be spared. Let me die knowing that she can return to the surface to lead out the rest of her life without incident. With me gone, she won’t have a reason to return here and bother you. And she can keep the secret of our existence. I trust her well enough to do that.”

“You may trust her, Tara,” the merman said, tracing the point of the knife’s blade across her chest and causing Tara to wince. “But I do not. And neither will the other Elders. She had involuntarily brought two other humans into our midst. She had corrupted you. And who knows what other secrets about us she may have learned from you?”

Tara’s eyes shifted to Willow only for a brief second, but it was long enough for the elder mermaid to notice. Grabbing Tara by the throat, he lifted her off the ground. “What have you done to her, Tara? Have you used your magic on her?”

Struggling, Tara tried to free herself from the merman’s vice-like grip. Disgusted at her actions, the merman threw her at the rock wall. The blonde hit it like a sack of potatoes and crumpled to the ground.

“TARA!” Crying now, Willow could only watch as the merman approached Tara’s fallen body and traced the knife across her body.

No. It was not all she could do. She could save Tara. There was no way that she was just going to stand here and let her be killed. Wrenching her right arm, she sent the merman holding it headlong into the water. Before his partner could respond, Willow had her knee buried deep into his gut, causing him to release his grip on her arm and crumple to the ground.

Rushing forward, Willow stood between the elder merman and Tara, arms outstretched as if she was protecting a valuable treasure. This, at least in her mind, was in fact exactly what she was doing. “Stop! I won’t let you hurt her!”

“Stand aside, human.”

Willow stood her ground. “I will not. If you…If you want to kill Tara, then you will need to kill me first.”

Before the merman could respond, Willow heard a voice from behind her. “Willow...no!”

Turning her head, the redhead looked at Tara, who was getting to her knees. “I must, Tara. If they feel the need to kill someone because of what has happened, then let it be me.”

“But why?” Tara asked, perplexed.

“Because…” Willow began, hesitating for a moment, before continuing, “Because…I have no one now. On the surface, I mean. Buffy’s dead. So is Faith. And my parents never bothered to pay that much attention to me. I don’t have any friends up there. Buffy was the only one person in my life who looked out for me…who treated me like I was normal…who treated me like family. And now that she’s gone…I have no one. And nothing left but the ocean that took everything from me. And…and I don’t want to live if I’m going to be reminded of everything that I have lost whenever I look at water, be it an ocean or the running water of my bathtub.”

She turned back to Tara. “And in any case, it works out for the best for everyone if I’m the one who dies. Tara, you said that if you were killed, and it became known to others of your kind, then the changes to your society that you want will happen. But if I die…then you still get them.”

“But how?” Tara asked, noting that the hand of the merman holding the knife was wavering.

“Because…if they kill me…then you can live. And you can make sure that your society knows that their leaders have killed one who harbored no prejudice towards you and your kind, no matter what they have done to me. And they can also see that perhaps not all human beings are evil. And Tara…I want you to live. I will die happy knowing that you will live. And that you will have gotten what you wanted.”

Closing her eyes, Willow stretched herself to her full length and tilted her head upward, opening herself up to be struck down. “Be brave, Tara. And live…for me.”

Tara expected the elder merman to walk over and deliver the killing blow to the redhead. After all, he had made it clear that he was not open to the idea that someone had to die in order to maintain the secret of the clan. So she was surprised to find the merman drop the knife to the ground.

“Perhaps…we have been wrong. If one can still see the good in one of our own, with the knowledge of what we have done to those she loves, then we may have been wrong to judge all humans based on the actions of a single representative of their kind. Perhaps you are right, Willow. Perhaps not all humans are bad.”

“NO!”

The heads of Willow, Tara and the merman turned to see one of the mermen that had been guarding Willow get to his feet, his own knife in hand. Staring into Willow’s eyes, he snarled, “No! There can be no peace with humanity! Humankind invaded our territory! Humankind polluted us! Humankind cannot be allowed to do so again!”

And with that declaration, he threw the knife at Willow.

“WILLOW!”

Willow was violently shoved to the ground, her head impacting against the rock. The last thing she was aware of was a strange, gurgled cry, and then total darkness claimed her.[hr]

[db]

dibs




Did you just kill Faith too?

... and did Tara or Willow just get stabbed?

...and also, stupid racist mean-o mer people.

bah.

**scrapes another hatch mark on the cold cement wall in the corner of gloom and despair**

This corner where I am sitting is all gloomy and sad.

Will I ever get out of here?

db

[Guppy]

Damn Alex! Another fine chapter! This story has gotten even more intense and I didn't think that was possible! I love the integrity Willow and Tara show. I can't wait for more.

[dixiedarlin83]

Great update! Both of them trying to sacrifice theirselves for the other. I love it.

[Devi Crystalseeker]

Alex: Once again, you're welcome.

Great update! Both of them trying to sacrifice theirselves for the other. I love it.

Yes, that really got to me too. In a good if heartwrenching way, I mean.

[SithLordWiccan]

db: Yes, I'm afraid that I killed Faith. It was something I knew I had to do the moment I decided to include her in the story, especially given the direction that it decided to take. I had hoped that by the time I got to this point, I would have made her a sympathetic character that the reader would feel sorry for. As for whether or not it was Willow or Tara that got stabbed...well, you'll find that out in the next chapter. As for hunkering in that corner...well, let me just say that whether or not you'll be spending anymore time there will also be answered in the next chapter (of course, being the Kitten Board, W/T smootchies is pratically guaranteed, so whoever it was that did get stabbed will be surviving. )

Guppy: Glad you enjoyed the chapter. I think that this has been the most emotional chapter yet, with regards to how angsty the drama was played out. I too enjoyed the fact that Willow and Tara were willing to sacrifice themselves for the other. Of course, neither of them end up dead, as you will see next chapter.

dixiedarlin83: Thanks.

Devi: Thank you once again in helping me get the last few chapters done. I too am glad that you enjoyed the idea that Willow and Tara would gladly sacrifice themselves for the other. That was something I hoped to convey at this point in the story, which makes events that will be coming up all the more powerful.

Thanks a lot, everyone. The next chapter will be up sometime within the next 24 hours.

[SithLordWiccan]

• Title: Under The Sea (Chapter Seventeen)
• Author: SithLordWiccan (Alex)
• Email address: decepticons_4_ever@hotmail.com
• Feedback: Feel free to leave it here. Or send me a e-mail. Or a PM. Or all three. I don’t really care. All comments read. Positive feedback welcomed, negative feedback to be collected, put in a rocketship and blasted into the sun.
• Distribution: Through The Looking-glass (http://www.uberwillowtara.com) Mystic Muse (http://www.mysticmuse.net)
• Rating: NC-17
• Disclaimer: This fic contains situations that may be considered unusual and strange to some. These include (but are not limited to) underwater sex between two females, breathholding and implied drowning. If any of this disgusts you, stop reading now and go find something else to do. This disclaimer is here for a reason: to let me off the hook so that I can feel free to go into as much smutty detail as I want without having to feel guilty about it. All "Buffy" characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
• Summary: Tara is a member of a race of undersea mermaids. Willow is a recreational diver who stumbles into their territory. Smutty underwater loving ensues.

[hr]

[center]Chapter Seventeen[/center]

Willow awoke to find a vague shape hovering over her, a shape that slowly began to morph into the outline of a face. Thinking that the face belonged to Tara, she felt an extreme sense of adulation. Even though she had delivered an eloquent speech about how her death would bring about what Tara wanted, the blonde still felt the need to protect her from all the dangers that life threw her way.

But as her vision began to clear, Willow saw that the face was not Tara’s. It was instead that of an elderly woman with long silver hair. The scales on her forehead immediately told Willow that she was a mermaid, but that made Willow question her behavior. After all, hadn’t the last mermaids she had encountered threatened to harm her because Tara had revealed to her the secret of their society?

Smiling as she became aware of the fact that Willow had awakened, the mermaid reached out and brushed her fingers past the redhead’s forehead. Involuntarily arching her back at the touch, Willow took a breath and found her strength returning. Though she felt better, she had a splitting headache, no doubt due to her collision with the rock.

Opening her mouth, Willow tried to speak. “Who…who are…”

The mermaid smiled. “My name is Baji. And you must be Willow.”

Willow tried to move her head, but stopped and groaned when a sudden jab of pain flashed behind her eyes.

Moving to help Willow up, Baji said, “I’m sorry for all that you have gone through because of us, Willow. Tara never wanted to harm you. All she wanted was your love, and she hoped that together, you could make our society see the error of its ways. I do think you’ve managed to accomplish this. From what I understand, your words had a major impact on the Elder you encountered. He told me that he will speak to the others about how wrong they were in their views of humanity.” She sighed. “Tara got what she wanted. I just wish that she could have lived to see it.”

“What? What did you…”

Willow’s shock at that statement was quickly replaced with horror as she saw Tara’s prone form lying near the water close to where she and Baji were sitting. Shrieking, Willow shot towards the body and turned it over, seeing the pained look on the blonde’s face and the wound on her chest where the knife that had been thrown at her had impacted. The knife, Willow noticed with a lack of genuine surprise, was nowhere to be found, obviously having been retrieved by one of the mermen when they had left with the Elder.

Crying at the sight of Tara’s corpse, Willow was, for the first time, sorry that she had felt the need to constantly protect her from harm. Had the blonde not shoved her out of the way of the knife, it would have impacted against her instead. It wasn’t a fate that Willow terribly wanted, but it would have been more preferable than witnessing this.

Cradling Tara’s body in her arms, Willow began to rock back and forth, her loud sobbing reverberating throughout the cavern. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, Willow turned and saw Baji, whose face was kind and understanding.

“I’m very sorry, Willow. I’m sorry that our actions have caused you to lose Tara. She was something that was precious to you, and I feel your pain. ”

Willow’s face contorted at hearing that. Tara had been killed senselessly, and all the elder mermaid could say was sorry and that she felt the pain that the redhead was going through? That wasn’t possible. If Baji truly felt the pain Willow did, she would be as dead as Tara was right now. She couldn’t accept that there was nothing that could be done to save Tara. There had to be a way for the blonde to live. There just had to be. “Isn’t there anything you…anything others can do to save her?”

Baji hesitated. “There is nothing I can do, Willow. I told Tara that if she took the path that led to this moment, there was nothing I could do to prevent the consequences of her actions. True, I never predicted that this would happen, but that does not mean I can do anything about it.”

Willow snapped her head around to look at Baji, an act that, for the briefest of moments, made her wonder if it was going to do more harm to her, given her recent head trauma. But that thought was insignificant in light of the information she had just been given. That was more harmful to her than any head injury, or any other injury, she could suffer. “What do you mean? Tara can use magic. That must mean that there are others in your society who could. She even mentioned a caregiver. Maybe she could help us. There has to be some sort of spell that could bring her back!”

“There is,” Baji said. “But…”

“Then find out how to do it!” Willow shouted. “Get someone here who can perform it and bring Tara back to life.”

“We cannot,” Baji insisted. “Willow, please try and understand. I am sure that Tara told you how magic was responsible for how we came to be the way we are today. That is something I am sure she would not have kept a secret from you. Since then, magic has been considered harmful, and those who can use magic have tried to teach others how not to use our gifts to harm the environment.”

A flash of insight sparked through Willow’s mind. “But Tara’s already done that. I mean, she gave me the ability to breathe underwater. I mean, she did it before, but it was only temporary then. But she decided to give it to me permanently.” At Baji’s distressed look, she quickly added, “Not that I would have abused it. I mean…I promised her I wouldn’t misuse her gift, and I never go back on my promises. And…And she gave me the ability to understand your language…well, you obviously know that, since we’re having this conversation…”

“Willow, please…”

Willow fell silent at Baji’s rebuke and looked down once more at Tara’s body. Brushing aside one strand of Tara’s honey-colored hair, she whispered, “I’m sorry, Tara. I truly am.” Lying down over Tara’s body, Willow began to sob quietly. “It’s my fault. I never should have come back. You would still be alive if I had just used her pearl to talk to you. I could have said what I wanted to say that way. But I had to come back. I had to make sure you saw me when I laid myself bare to you.”

Baji took this in with interest. “Tara…gave you the Pearl of Sicily?”

Looking up, Willow looked at Baji through tear stained eyes. “The what?”

“The Pearl of Sicily,” Baji answered. “It was a gift that I had given to her on her thirteenth birthday. I told her to give it to someone she considered special in her life.” Looking into Willow’s eyes, she saw the green irises of her eyes twinkle like gemstones, obviously coming to the conclusion that Baji was the caregiver she had spoken of earlier. “The Pearl of Sicily is not something to be given lightly, Willow. Tara giving it to you is nothing less than a proposal of marriage. Do you understand that?”

The redhead nodded, a faint smile forming on her face. Tara giving her the pearl was more special than she had thought at first. At the time, Willow had seen it as something that was exchanged between friends. It never really occurred to her to think of what had happened as being anything more than that.

“I’ve known that you were special to Tara, Willow,” Baji said. “I’ve known almost from the moment that she first spoke of you. If you had known her for as long as I did, you would realize that what she has done here is atypical of her normal behavior. Though she has at times done things that the Elders despised, she had never broken the rules in a manner such as this. It would not have been a thing that she would have done for anyone else, Willow. And she must have truly loved you for her to give you the one gift that meant more to her than anything in this world.”

Moving over beside Willow, Baji gently took her away from Tara’s body. “You have already lost too much because of us, Willow. I will make sure that you lose no more because of us.”

Willow’s eyes slowly widened as she realized what it was that Baji was telling her. It was almost too good to be true. “Does…does that mean that…you’ll bring Tara back?”

“I will.” Noting Willow’s expression, Baji added, “But you must understand something, Willow. What I am about to do is very dangerous. I don’t think that I can do it alone. I will need your help.”

“Me?” Willow flustered. “But…But what can I do?” Crawling back towards Tara, she ran a hand through her hair and sniffled. “I’m…I’m not like you. I’m not like Tara. I’m not…unique. I’m…not special.”

“But you are, Willow.”

Willow brought her head up to look at Baji at that, finding the silver haired mermaid looking at her with sadness, compassion and love. “You may not think that you are special because of what has happened, but look beyond the negative. See how much you have affected us. You have given the Elders serious reason to rethink how we live, telling them that not all humans are bad. You have also affected Tara. She never went against the edicts of our clan in a manner like this. She thought that you were special enough to save from drowning to death in the Forbidden Cave. She thought you were special enough to save from the misguided actions of one of our kind. Look inside your heart, Willow, and do what needs to be done. Not for me, not for yourself, but for the one who has already done more for you than you can ever imagine.”

Willow looked down at Tara’s body and brushed her fingers across her skin. It was simple to think that she wasn’t special. Having spent the majority of her adolescence hiding what was a vital part of her character, it had the side effect of unfortunately creating a lowered opinion of her own self worth. There wasn’t anyone she felt comfortable being herself around. Buffy had been the closest thing to a confidante she had ever had, but that didn’t mean Willow ever felt comfortable revealing everything about her to the blonde. And the minute she decided to do so, everything had gone wrong. Tara was the only one she could truly feel comfortable being around without having to put up a front or keep things a secret.

Willow looked up into Baji’s face, a neutral look on her own. She had lost Buffy because of her fears and insecurities. She would not lose Tara to those same fears and insecurities, especially when the blonde had been vital in helping her to look past them to see the wonderful woman that she truly was.

“I will. I’ll help you.” Willow tenderly brushed her fingers over Tara’s face. “I’ll do anything in this world if it means Tara will be brought back to me.”

Baji nodded and smiled. “Then let us work quickly. We do not have much time.”

**

Willow sat across from Baji, holding the elder mermaid’s hands in her own. Between them lay Tara’s body, the sight of which made the redhead nervous about what she had to do. Baji had explained that, while she would be the one to perform the spell required to bring Tara back to life, Willow would need to act as an anchor that would funnel her energy and keep her centered on the task at hand, as even the slightest distraction would be disastrous not only to Tara, but to themselves. Given all that had happened to her in the last few days, Willow wasn’t sure that she could control her emotions well enough to do what Baji wanted.

But she had to try. This was the only way to bring Tara back. And that alone was enough for her to make the effort.

“Ready, Willow?”

Willow nodded as she closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing, centering her mind and body on the task at hand. Seeing this, Baji closed her eyes as well and began to hum. Willow could feel something behind the melody, an indescribable feeling of pure pleasure washing over her, cleansing her being of all doubt and concern. The redhead realized then why Baji was doing this. The mermaid, whether or not she believed that Willow was prepared for what was about to occur, wanted to make sure that she was truly calm and focused, knowing how badly things could go wrong if either of them were to be distracted. Willow was truly glad for Baji’s help. Anything that could be done to help keep her mind focused on bringing Tara back would be a benefit.

After a few more moments, Baji began to chant. “Goddess Amphitrite, we call upon you now. God Poseidon, we beseech you, make your presence known. We ask for your help in returning to us the life spark of one who was taken from us. May you, in your everlasting wisdom, see the need to bring Tara back to us so that Willow may find the comfort that she so rightly deserves, a comfort that we have unknowingly denied her.”

Willow shivered slightly as she felt a breeze pass across her naked flesh. Curious as to where it had come from, she opened one eye and looked up, and was surprised to find a dark cloud beginning to form above them. She involuntarily clenched her hands and immediately felt a sense of guilt about doing so, wondering if her act had broken Baji’s concentration.

If it did, the mermaid didn’t voice it. “Goddess Amphitrite, we command you, bring Tara back. God Poseidon, we command you, bring Tara back.”

Willow tried to maintain her calm, but the fear that she was beginning to feel about the situation was growing, in no way helped by the fact that, after opening one eye to look at the cloud, she saw that it was getting larger by the moment. And though Willow wasn’t sure, but she swear that she heard the unmistakable rumble of approaching thunder.

“Goddess Amphitrite, in the name of the Mother Ocean, bring Tara back to us.”

A blast of lightening erupted from the cloud, striking the rocks dangerously close to Tara. Willow flinched as her brain registered the noise, but otherwise did not move from her seated position. Her fear was reaching uncontrollable levels now, and she hoped that whatever Baji hoped to accomplish, that it would happen soon, as she wasn’t sure how much longer she could remain calm.

Another strike of lightning. Another. And another.

And another directly against Tara’s chest.

Willow let out a shocked yelp, the only way she could express the surprise she felt at seeing what she had just taken in without doing anything that could seriously jeopardize what was going on. Despite the fact that it was strange to her, she knew that it was necessary for what needed to occur. But knowing that didn’t help allay her growing fear.

“Goddess Amphitrite, God Poseidon, we call upon you. Bring Tara back!”

Baji’s words brought about another lightning bolt that impacted against Tara, followed by another. Willow involuntarily winced at each strike, her fear beginning to grow despite her knowledge of the event being played out in front of her. To calm herself, she put the thought of Tara’s body the way it had been before into her mind. The blonde’s warm skin against her own when they had made love immediately came to mind, and she smiled at the recovered memory. Despite all that had happened, that had been the only good thing to come out of this entire situation. It was the first time she had truly felt alive.

That memory triggered something in the back of the redhead’s mind, and she could feel her strength increasing ten fold. The sudden increase cascaded over Willow like the crest of a wave, leaving her a little disoriented, leaving her unprepared for what happened next. Whatever it was that Willow felt mixed with Baji’s magic, creating colossal force of energy that erupted from the magically created cloud and struck Tara’s body dead center in the blonde’s chest.

And that was the last image that Willow’s mind perceived as she blacked out.

**

As Willow came back into consciousness, all she could think about was how much time had passed while she was out. And that she was beginning to get sick and tired of being knocked for a loop. What was this, the third time it happened in as many days? The fourth? Did it matter? Not really. She just hoped that it was all worth it, and that Tara was alive. Opening her eyes, Willow looked around, finding herself alone on the rocks. Tara’s body was gone. So was Baji. Panicking, Willow scrambled to the edge of the water and looked into its depths, finding nothing.

For a moment, Willow thought of swimming out of the cave to try and find them, but she rejected that. For some reason that she couldn’t figure out, Willow knew that it was important for her to stay where she was. As she thought about that, she also wondered why staying here was so important. There was no explanation that Willow could come up with that made any sense. If Tara had been brought back to life, then she and Baji should be here now, comforting Willow and reassuring her that everything was alright. If Tara had not been brought back to life, then Baji would be there to comfort her and offer her sincerest regrets that she had failed in her task.

Either way, there should be someone here with her. But aside from herself, the cave was empty. That could only mean one thing: that what had happened did not work. Was that why Baji was not here, Willow wondered? Did she take Tara’s body back to her people so that they could perform a burial? The thought that Tara was truly taken from her, despite everything that had happened and their efforts, made Willow feel as if a vital piece of her being had been torn away. It was too much for her to take. Buffy was dead. Faith was dead. And now Tara was taken from her.

Crawling over to the corner, Willow curled herself into a ball and began to cry. Despite everything that had happened, she was surprised at the act. After the pain, grief and loss that she had suffered over the course of the past few days, it was a surprise for her to find that she still had tears to shed. But these tears were different. The tears she had shed before were for Buffy, whose loss was like losing a sister, a pain that Willow would feel for some time, but would eventually fade. The thought of Tara being out of her life, however, was a pain that was like a cancer, working its way into her body and infesting her vital organs, slowly but surely driving the life out of her.

She felt a hand on her shoulder then, and through her tears, Willow looked up to see a sight that should have been impossible. There was no way that it could be true. But it was.

Tara got down on one knee so that she could look Willow directly in the eye. “Hello, Willow.”

The sound of that voice made something snap in the back of Willow’s mind, and the redhead enveloped Tara in a fierce bear hug, her crying growing more intense. She held onto Tara tightly, fearing that letting go of the blonde would cause her to be taken from her.

“Willow…air’s becoming an issue…”

Looking up into Tara’s face, Willow smiled. “But what about your gills?”

Tara’s smiled back. “You got me. But…Willow…You’re kinda hurting me…”

Willow’s immediately released her grip on Tara and looked into the blonde eyes. “Sorry.” Then the reality of what was going on set in. “But…if you’re here…then that means…”

It was then that Willow noticed two others nearby. One of them was Baji, her face radiating happiness and love as she looked at Willow. The other was the merman that had been here before. Willow immediately grew wary at seeing him, remembering what had occurred the last time he had been in her presence.

As if he could read her thoughts, the merman spoke then. “Willow, I’ve spoken to the other Elders. We…We’ve learned about what we have done to you, and we are truly sorry about the pain that we have caused you. We see now that there can be peaceful coexistence between us and the surface dwellers.” Staring directly at Willow, he asked, “Tara has told you of the story of Lorelei?”

Willow nodded.

“At that time, we had thought that the human she had encountered had done something harmful to her, that he would spread the knowledge of our existence to others of his kind and that they would send others to kill us all. After we enacted the Spell of Transformation on our race, we grew to be disgusted by the fact that we had to reshape ourselves in the image of an apparent enemy because of that misguided belief. We allowed our anger to twist itself into a distrust of all human contact.”

The merman cast his glace towards Tara. “There are those who were born following this who came to wonder why we did it. We’ve never bothered to explain to them what truly happened, telling them only that it was because of an incident that happened long ago. We helped saturate that belief by creating social stigma about the cave where Lorelei and the male consummated their love.” He shrugged slightly. “It was perhaps inevitable that there would be those who would find out that the two were related.”

“My mother wanted to disprove their theories about the cave, so she went there,” Tara spoke up. “And when she did, they murdered her in order to make sure that the rest of our society continued to believe that the cave was not to be visited by others.”

Willow looked at Tara, an expression of empathy on her face. The blonde had said before that she suspected the role of the Elders in the death of her mother, so it must have been especially heartbreaking for her to hear it confirmed.

“Tara told us that she encountered you entering the cave,” the merman said. “And fearing for your life, she rescued you.” He glanced at Tara. “We would have merely punished her for that, had she not allowed you to see her. But it would seem that the two of you had formed an immediate bond, even if neither of you were aware of it. That compelled her to stay with you until you were brought back to life. Had we been more aware of what was going on, we would not have reacted in the manner in which we did.”

Tara looked down. “I was…I was unsure of how you would react. I feared for Willow’s life. I had to make sure that she…that she…”

“We understand now, Tara,” the merman replied, placing his hand on Tara’s shoulder. “And we are truly sorry for the pain we have brought down on Willow.” He turned to look at Willow. “And we intend to make up for it…if she is willing.”

“What?” Willow asked.

“We want to adopt you into our society, Willow,” Baji said. “I can perform the Spell of Transformation on you to allow you to become one of us. You no longer need to be fearful on the surface. You can live with those who understand how you feel.” She looked at Tara. “And those that you love.”

Willow couldn’t believe what she was told. To be like Tara…a mermaid…to live among a society of underwater creatures…to be with Tara…to have their love be acknowledged and respected. It was everything of which she always dreamed.

So why was she hesitating in giving her answer. It was true that what she was being offered was special and something that she always wanted. But what of her life on the surface? Was she really willing to give it up so easily?

“Can I have time to think about it?”

“Of course,” Baji responded. “Please take as much time as you need. This is not a decision you should make immediately, after all.”

Willow looked into the face of the elderly mermaid and smiled, but lost that smile when she looked at Tara and saw the haunted and pained look in her eyes, as if she could not believe that Willow would need to think about this decision. Willow could sympathize with her, but as much as she wanted to make this decision now to appease her, the redhead needed to have time to figure things out in a way that could make a decision easier to come to.

**

After returning to the surface, Willow got onboard her boat and, to the best of her ability, dried herself with her t-shirt. Once she had done this, she got back into her clothes, leaving her sopping shirt on the deck. Sitting down, her thoughts turned to the offer she had been given and the pros and cons of her choices. It was certainly a tempting offer, but now that she had time to think about it, Willow wondered if she was truly worthy of it. After all, although her actions had brought about a peaceful end for Tara, it had come at too heavy a price for herself. Buffy was dead at her own hand. Not directly, of course, as she could never think of lifting a finger to harm the blonde. But directly or not, her best friend was still dead because of her hasty actions, and it continued to gnaw away at her.

And then there was Faith. Though Willow didn’t feel as responsible for her death as she had for Buffy’s, it still made her sad. Could it have been prevented if Faith had stayed where she was like Willow wanted? The redhead shook her head, knowing that such thinking was self defeating. It made no difference now to think about what might have been. What mattered was the here and now.

And here and now, she had a choice that would affect the rest of her life. Bringing her boat alongside Faith’s, Willow reached out with one hand and grasped its side. As soon as she did, she began to make her way back to the docks, all the while thinking about what to do with the offer she had been given.

**

Arriving home as the sun began to set after bringing the boats back to the docks, (and ignoring the stares she had gotten from others given her near topless state despite the fact that she gamely attempted to cover herself), Willow walked into the apartment and made her way to Buffy’s room. Looking once more at the legacy of her best friend’s life, she got to work packing it away, starting with Buffy’s clothes. She made sure to take the time to fold them and put them into the boxes in such a way that they did not crease. She followed up on this by packing away the blonde’s trophies, medals and certificates, doing as good a job as she could manage at putting them away so that they wouldn’t break while being transported.

As she put the last trophy away, Willow looked around the room, deciding that she would leave the books and everything else for tomorrow. Going to the phone, she picked up the receiver and dialed a number. After a few moments of listening to the phone ring, someone on the opposite end of the line picked up and a voice that was unmistakably feminine responded.

”Hello?”

Willow swallowed, knowing that this conversation was going to be difficult. “Hello, Joyce.”

The pause that seemed to stretch into infinity following her words was punctuated by Joyce’s small gasp, followed by, ”Willow? Is that you?”

From the sound of Joyce’s words, Willow figured that she had been crying when she picked up the phone. The redhead wondered how long she had been doing it. “Yes, Joyce. I wanted to call you about…about Buffy.”

Willow could hear Joyce crying at the other end of the receiver, and she immediately felt guilty about mentioning Buffy by name. But was there any good way to mention her that would not bring about this response? As with wondering if Faith would still be alive if she had stayed where she was, it was pointless to dwell on it. It had happened, and there was no use trying to think about what might have been.

Taking a deep breath, she asked, “Joyce, I don’t want to sound insensitive, but…how are you feeling?”

”How do you think I feel, Willow?” Joyce snapped. ”My baby girl’s dead, and I’ll never know how or why… “

Willow felt a fresh stab of pain and guilt at hearing Joyce speak to her like that, not only because she knew not only why Buffy was dead and how it had happened, but because she could never tell anyone about it. It had been the same way she had felt when she told Buffy about Tara and the existence of mermaids, and it had gotten the blonde killed. And on the other side of the coin, not telling Faith about Tara and the existence of mermaids had gotten her killed, too. It was the perfect example of a Catch-22 situation. “I’m sorry, Joyce…”

Apparently calmer, Joyce responded, ”Don’t be, Willow. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped. I know how much Buffy meant to you. I can remember like it was yesterday the first time that you came over and stayed the night at our house. Buffy told me how excited she was about the fact that you were going to be here. I baked you two chocolate chip cookies. Buffy always liked them…”

Willow could tell that Joyce’s recovered memories were going to cause her to start crying again, so she decided to say something before that could happen. “Joyce, there was another reason I wanted to call you. I was going to ask that you come down to pick up Buffy’s things.”

”I understand.”

“And…that you pick up some of my things, as well.”

”How come?” Joyce asked.

“Because…” Willow hesitated, coming to the decision on the choice that she had been mulling over ever since she had been given it. “Because I’ll be moving out of the apartment.”

”Willow?”

Exhaling, Willow tried to explain her decision to Joyce in terms that would require her to actually explain it. “Joyce, I’ve decided that…with Buffy dead…there’s no reason for me to stay here. And I don’t want…to keep the things that will remind me of her. I want…I want to go somewhere that I can get a fresh start. Somewhere where I think I can find someone that can…help me get through my pain and grief.”

Joyce sighed. ”Willow, this really isn’t the sort of thing you should be talking to me about. Maybe you should call your parents…”

“Joyce, my parents never cared about me,” Willow blurted. Then, before she could catch herself, continued, “They always tried to shelter me when they went on their trips. They never let me come with them, fearing I would hurt myself. If they really cared about me, they wouldn’t have made such an active effort to stunt my emotional growth. That’s why I always spent time at your house with Buffy. It was there where I could…”

Willow hesitated. She didn’t want to say that it was at Buffy’s house where she could be herself, because that wasn’t true. No matter how much she let others know about herself, be it her talent with computers or her sexuality, the fact that her status as an aquaphile was always the one thing she feared to reveal to anyone. Telling Buffy certainly hadn’t been that great of an idea, though whether or not it was doing that or her overcompensation afterward that had proven to be the disastrous move was yet another situation in which looking back on the situation did little good.

”Where you could what?”

Jolting back into reality at Joyce’s question, Willow answered, “Where I could feel like I belonged, where someone could accept me for who I was.” She hadn’t time to consider her words, but looking back on them now, she could see how appropriate they were. They were obviously enough to appease Joyce, at any rate.

”Thank you, Willow. I won’t pretend to be your mother, but I would suggest that you think about your choice. Dawn and I will come by tomorrow to pick up Buffy’s things and what you will be willing to part with. We’ll see you then.”

The line went dead, and Willow put the receiver down. Moving back to her own room, she flopped onto her bed and thought about what she had said to Joyce. She had thought about it, and it was a decision she would not regret. Tara and the others were willing to go out of their way to accept her, though there was the possibility that they were doing it out of a sense of guilt. On the other hand, perhaps they were genuine in their concern for her welfare.

And of course, there was Tara. How could she think of abandoning her now? Tara had risked her own life, and indeed had lost it, in making their love known and accepted by her kind. To say that she didn’t want to be with her now would be rude in the grandest sense of the word. And, of course, she had nothing on the surface to keep her here. Buffy was gone. Her parents were never around. And she had no other person to keep her here.

In a way, by killing Buffy, Tara’s clan had made this decision easy for her. That, more than anything, was the great irony of the situation. And as Willow drifted off to sleep, she allowed herself to think one thought.

”I’m going home.”

[db]

She's going home, Tara's alive and my corner is starting to look not as dark and gloomy...



db

[SithLordWiccan]

db: I told you that things would start getting better for Willow, though in the next chapter (which will be up later today), you'll find that even though she's going home, there's still a bit of heartache she has to deal with.

[SithLordWiccan]

• Title: Under The Sea (Chapter Eighteen)
• Author: SithLordWiccan (Alex)
• Email address: decepticons_4_ever@hotmail.com
• Feedback: Feel free to leave it here. Or send me a e-mail. Or a PM. Or all three. I don’t really care. All comments read. Positive feedback welcomed, negative feedback to be collected, put in a rocketship and blasted into the sun.
• Distribution: Through The Looking-glass (http://www.uberwillowtara.com) Mystic Muse (http://www.mysticmuse.net)
• Rating: NC-17
• Warning: Character Death
• Disclaimer: This fic contains situations that may be considered unusual and strange to some. These include (but are not limited to) underwater sex between two females, breathholding and implied drowning. If any of this disgusts you, stop reading now and go find something else to do. This disclaimer is here for a reason: to let me off the hook so that I can feel free to go into as much smutty detail as I want without having to feel guilty about it. All "Buffy" characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
• Summary: Tara is a member of a race of undersea mermaids. Willow is a recreational diver who stumbles into their territory. Smutty underwater loving ensues.

[hr]

[center]Chapter Eighteen[/center]

Willow awoke the next morning to the sound of a loud noise occurring somewhere nearby. Through the fog that clouded her brain, she recognized it as the sound of the call buzzer telling her that someone was outside the apartment trying to get her attention. Fumbling out of bed, Willow sleepily made her way over to the wall mounted unit that would let her talk to whoever it was outside. She let out a croak, pushed down the button, and said, “Hello?”

”Willow? It’s me.”

Rubbing her eyes with her free hand, Willow recognized the voice as belong to Joyce and said, “OK. I’ll buzz you in.” Letting go of the button, she pushed the one beside it, unlatching the door to the complex so that Joyce could come in and made her way back to her apartment. Moving back to her room, Willow began to get dressed, pulling a shirt over her head just as someone knocked on the door. Heading to it, Willow opened it to find two people waiting in the hallway, one a middle aged woman with curled blonde hair, the other a sullen teenager with straight dark hair hiding her features.

She smiled faintly, trying to hide the sadness that she felt deep within her heart. “Hi, Joyce. Hi, Dawnie.”

Dawn looked up, hair falling away at the act and revealing her face to Willow who, for the first time, noticed that her eyes were rimmed in red. Pushing past Willow, Dawn made her way inside the apartment, not turning back to look at either her or Joyce.

Noticing Willow’s hurt expression, Joyce said, “You’ll have to forgive her, Willow. She’s taken Buffy’s…she’s taken it hard.”

“I can image,” Willow responded with as little emotion as she could manage, as she watched Dawn collapse into the sofa, arms folded across her chest. Willow and Joyce went into Buffy’s room and spent the next half hour taking the boxes containing the blonde’s belongings and loading them into Joyce’s waiting van. The entire time, Dawn continued to sulk, neither asking her mother or Willow if they needed help nor responding when they asked for her assistance.

After they had finished putting Buffy’s belongings into Joyce’s van, she and Willow returned to the apartment and stepped inside the redhead’s room. “Are you sure you want to do this, Willow?” Joyce asked. “A lot of this stuff is little more than personal effects. I wouldn’t feel right just taking it off your hands.”

“I’m sure, Joyce,” Willow answered without hesitation. “Where I’m going, I won’t need most of this. The rest…The rest is just stuff. I don’t need it. I suppose I never really did need it. Keeping these things will just remind me of everything that has happened to me. And where I’m going, I don’t…I don’t want to be reminded of that.”

Joyce raised an eyebrow at Willow’s words as she stepped passed the redhead and made her way around the room, selecting several of Willow’s things that she would take home with her, mostly consisting of old magazines and books that she figured would be of interest to Dawn.

Willow, meanwhile, watched the sight with genuine sadness. Despite what she had told Joyce, most of her things were valued treasures that, given any other option, she wouldn’t want to part with. The most precious of these treasures was the small gold mirror she had bought at a garage sale a couple of years ago. Buffy had said that it wasn’t a worthwhile purchase, and that her money could have been better spent getting something more essential. But the moment Willow had laid eyes on it, she knew she had to have it in her possession.

It made the decision to give it up all the more painful.

After ten minutes of looking through the room, Joyce had collected several books and most of the magazines, putting it into one of the boxes remaining in the room. As the older woman walked to the door, Willow stepped to her dresser and opened it, taking out the gold mirror and putting it on top of the box.

“Please, Joyce. Take this, too.”

Joyce looked down at the mirror, then back up at Willow. “Oh, no, Willow. I can’t. I can’t take that.”

Willow was caught off guard by Joyce’s words. The redhead hadn’t expected her to realize not only what it was, but how much it obviously meant to her. “Please, Joyce,” she insisted. “I want you to have it. It’s…it’s the most precious thing I own, and I want to make sure…I want to make sure that it…it’s safe.”

Joyce sighed deeply, not convinced by Willow’s argument. “Are you sure, Willow? If it’s as precious to you as Buffy told me, perhaps you should keep it.”

Willow thought about Joyce’s words, not exactly surprised that Buffy had told her mother about how much the mirror meant to Willow. It was indeed precious to her, and with startling clarity, she realized that it was something that she shouldn’t give up. She also realized that Joyce had talked to her about the mirror in terms similar to how Baji had spoken of Tara’s pearl: a precious personal object that should not be discarded, no matter the reason.

Reaching out to take the mirror off the box, Willow slipped it into her pocket. “You’re right, Joyce. It is a precious thing, and I shouldn’t just give it away.”

Smiling, Joyce walked out into the living room, turning to look at Dawn. “It’s time to go, Dawnie.”

Stepping up beside Joyce, Willow looked at Dawn. “It was nice to have you over, Dawn. Joyce is giving you some of my things. I hope you enjoy them.”

Dawn turned her head and looked up at Willow, her eyes penetrating into the redhead’s soul. “Why?”

“Well,” Willow began, thinking of how best to explain the situation to her. “I thought that maybe, because I need…some space in my room, I thought that…”

“No,” the teenager snapped, getting to her feet and giving Willow her full attention. “Why couldn’t it have been you?”

“Dawn…” Joyce started to say, but before she could continue, Dawn stepped right in front of Willow and slapped her.

“WHY COULDN’T IT HAVE BEEN YOU?!”

“Dawn!” Joyce shouted, scarcely believing that she could have done that. “I know that you feel upset about what happened with Buffy, but not even that gives you the right…”

“No, Joyce,” Willow said, turning to look at the older woman. “Let her get this out. If she doesn’t do it now, it will just come out in some other way that’s more…harmful.” She turned around to look at Dawn, seeing the barely restrained rage contained within her eyes. “Go, ahead, Dawn. Let it out.”

For a moment, Dawn hesitated, this turn of events clearly not the reaction she had been expecting. Then she began to pummel the redhead in the chest, shrieking like a banshee as she did so. In between the screams, Dawn shouted, “It should be you! You should be the one who died! Not Buffy! Not my sister! She helped the disillusioned, consoled the depressed and cheered up the lonely. Buffy could have changed the world for the better if she wanted to. That was her gift. ” Looking up into Willow’s eyes, Dawn’s expression darkened considerably. “And that’s a lot more than I can say about you, Willow. What good have you done for this world? What have you done that’s so special and makes my sister’s death justified?”

Willow’s tongue caught in her throat, knowing the answer to that question very well, but knowing also that she couldn’t tell Dawn. Aside from the fact that she wouldn’t believe it, Willow didn’t want anyone else to know about Tara and her society. Though they had adopted a new outlook on humanity, it wasn’t very likely that humankind would look upon them in the same way, at least not in the way that she had done.

“I’m sorry, Dawn…”

Ignoring Willow’s attempt to apologize, Dawn turned to Joyce. “I’ll be in the van, Mom.” She then brushed past Willow and made her way to the door. As it closed, Joyce put a hand on Willow’s shoulder.

“Don’t let what Dawn said bother you too much, Willow. She’s going through a tough time right now. And to be honest, she was always jealous of the friendship you had with Buffy. I think it was because she wanted the relationship she had with her to be like the one the two of you shared. I think she’s always felt some sort of hostility toward you, only accepting you because you were friends with Buffy.”

Willow blew out a sigh. It wasn’t really surprising for her to hear this. Dawn was never really all that talkative when she had spent time over at Buffy’s. There was even one time when she had asked Joyce if she could stay over at Janice’s when she had been over. It may have been a coincidence, but the fact that she had bluntly asked that the minute she became aware of the fact that Willow was going to be staying the night, and right in front of her no less, had made her curious.

“It’s OK, Joyce,” she said, turning to walk back into her room. “I don’t harbor any ill feelings towards Dawn. She reminds me a lot of the way I used to be.”

“Used to be?” Joyce probed.

“I used to be a lot like Dawn,” Willow elaborated. “Frustrated and scared by the world around me, lashing out at anything that I thought would threaten my small personal sphere. But…I’ve grown a lot, especially in the last few days. I’ve opened my eyes to the way the world really is, and I don’t think that I like it.”

Joyce didn’t like the tone of Willow’s words, her concern for what the redhead had said earlier painting an uncomfortable picture of what was going on in her mind. “Willow, what exactly are you saying?”

“Only what I said before,” Willow answered. “I’m leaving, Joyce. I’m going to go somewhere that can accept me for who I truly am.”

“But where?” Joyce asked, incredulous as to what Willow was talking about.

Looking out the window, Willow saw the beach near the apartment, the water cresting rhythmically onto the sand beginning to grow in sync with her heartbeat. They were as one, she realized at that moment. It had been that way for the majority of her life, ever since her experience in that swimming pool all those years ago. The water had been a major influence in her life. And very soon, she would return there to be with Tara, the only person on this world who truly understood her.

“Home.”

**

After Joyce and Dawn had left, Willow sat on the couch, going over the second of two letters she had been writing to those she would be leaving behind. Having already composed a letter to the landlord explaining to him why she was leaving and telling him what to do with her remaining personal effects, she was now working on the more personal, and thus more problematic, letter: the one to her parents.

Ironically, it was that letter which should have been easy for her to write. After all, Willow’s opinion of her parents was rather negative, and it was partly their fault that she was leaving this world to join Tara and her clan. On the other hand, if they hadn’t been neglectful, then she wouldn’t have started the journey that led her to the beautiful blonde.

Sighing, Willow put her pen down on the paper, and began the hardest letter she would ever have to write.

[blockquote]Dear Mom and Dad,

I bet you weren’t thinking you would be hearing from your little girl. When was the last time that we talked to one another? I can’t really remember. Goes to show you how much we really love one another.

Anyways, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Y’see, I’ve done a lot of soul searching in the past few days, and I’ve come to realize that I really don’t belong in the world. I mean, I was picked on in school, and I didn’t have that many friends. And I really can’t help but blame you for it all.

I mean, I probably didn’t do myself any favors by never really being open about myself, but that’s mostly because I never really felt comfortable doing it with you. You always treated me like a baby, always insisting that if I wasn’t too careful, I’d end up hurting myself. And a couple of days ago, I couldn’t help but think how right you were.

Because a couple of days ago, I nearly died. I bet you’re shocked to hear about that, aren’t you? Though I’ve got to be honest and say that I suspect what you’re really thinking right now isn’t whether or not I’m really OK, but something along the lines of “We told you so, Willow. You’re not responsible enough.” Well…you’re right, Mom. You’re right, Dad. I’m not responsible. I may be grown up, but at heart, I’m still a scared little girl.

But don’t worry. This scared little girl isn’t going to be around much longer. I’ve decided that I’m going to go live with people who will accept me for who I am, and won’t judge me for who I am or what I do. They may be responsible for some of my greatest pain, but at the same time, they want to make up for those problems by offering me the life I could never believe I truly deserved.

I’ve left instructions with my landlord to send my things back to you. They should arrive in about a week or two. As for my money, I’m donating that to charity. At least there it will do somebody some good.

Don’t try to contact me. Where I’m going, you won’t be able to find me.

Goodbye, Mom and Dad.

Willow.[/blockquote]

Signing her name, Willow folded the paper in half and slipped it into the envelope. Sealing it shut, she collected the other envelope and headed for the door. Pausing as she reached for the knob, Willow took one final look at the apartment, her home for the past seven years. But the more she thought about it, the more Willow realized that it wasn’t truly her home. It was just a place that she felt less afraid of the world.

The ocean was her true home. But before she could return to it, there were several other things she had to take care of. First she would deliver the letters, and then she would head to the shelter to make sure that Faith’s things were properly taken care of.

In the back of her mind, Willow wondered which of those tasks would end up being more difficult.

**

“I’m sorry to hear that. Faith was a very special person.”

Listening to the owner of the homeless shelter talk about Faith brought about the first feelings of true remorse Willow had about the brunette’s death. Despite how she felt at the time, it really was unnecessary, and something that should never have happened. And at the peak of the problems she felt over it was the fact that, at some basic level, she truly wanted Faith to die at the hands of the mermaids. Whether it was out of her need for the secret of their society to remain that way or some latent aspect of her supposedly buried jealousy towards the brunette greatly troubled her.

In response to the man’s question, she simply said. “I know. And I just wanted to drop by and take care of her stuff.”

Leading Willow over to a door at the opposite end of the room, the owner pointed to it. “This was her room.”

Willow nodded as the man walked off and, flashing back to days earlier when she had done the same thing with Buffy’s room, stepped inside. As she did, various scenarios flashed through the redhead’s mind, trying to give herself a picture of the room that she was about to enter. Despite what she now knew about Faith, Willow couldn’t help but see a darkened room with a heavy S & M influence and decorated with posters of heavy metal bands.

Which made her all the more surprised when she saw that the room was as Spartan as any she had ever seen before.

The only things in the room were a simple cot and a dresser, no evidence of any personal effects anywhere. Walking up to the dresser, Willow opened the drawers to find that there was very little in the way of clothing inside, and that which was there was unlike the type of stuff she had expected Faith to wear. The only instances in which Willow had seen her was when she was wearing her lifeguard swimsuit, and the way that it hugged her perfect figure made it seem as if she were the type to wear tight halter tops or leather or something equally outrageous. Instead, there were simple t-shirts, shorts and pants, along with socks and various styles of lingerie, all of modest cut. It looked as if there were enough clothes here to last a week.

That confused Willow. Faith was a lifeguard, much like Buffy. And though the blonde didn’t make a lot of money, it was certainly enough for her to live comfortably, if not extravagantly. So why did Faith decide to live in a dumpy run down place like this?

Moving to sit on the bed, Willow glanced around the room, taking in the emptiness of the place. She wondered why Faith had decided to live her life this way, knowing that she could have done better. The explanation continued to elude Willow as she got up from the bed and made her way back to the dresser to collect Faith’s things. As she took out her clothes and made her way to the door, a sudden realization flashed through her.

There was a reason why Faith lived like this. She was afraid of the world, just like Willow was. No. On some level, Willow could tell that what scared Faith was not the same thing that scared her. But it didn’t really matter. That had to have been the reason why she didn’t keep so many possessions. Did she feel that if she had ever lost anything that was important to her, she would do something she would later regret? Given what happened, it wasn’t hard to draw that conclusion.

Willow felt a fresh wave of pain hit her, realizing for the first time that she and Faith were truly alike. The world scared both of them, and it made her sad now to realize that circumstances had thrown them together in the manner in which they had. If Buffy was still alive, there was no doubt in Willow’s mind that she would have done her absolute best to make sure they got to know one another better.

Buffy had really been the one thing that they had in common. To Willow, she was the sister that she never had, a real friend that she could be herself around. Or, at the very least, be less secretive and afraid. That must have been why Dawn disliked her so much. It must have made her so upset to see Buffy acting towards Willow the way she had hoped her sister would act towards her. The redhead didn’t know in what context Buffy was to Faith, though if their conversation at the Il Fornaio and how the brunette had confronted her had been any indication, it was clearly a case of hero worship. That didn’t surprise her in the slightest. Buffy was always looked up to by others during high school. Of course, she took it rather modestly, never allowing it to give her a swelled head.

Walking out of the room with Faith’s things, she headed for the exit of the shelter and walked down the street. It took her about fifteen minutes to reach the Salvation Army store. Talking to the clerk, she left Faith’s clothing with the clerk on duty, who promised to hold them for a specific person that she thought would be worthy of them.

As she stepped out of the shop, Willow took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The letters had been sent and Faith’s things had been dropped off. Her life on the surface, such as it was, had come to an end with those two events.

It was now time to head for the ocean and begin her new life.

**

As the sun began to set over the horizon, Willow sat on the edge of the water, wearing a one piece blue swimsuit that was a near perfect match for the one she had worn the first time she experienced the water in a sexually suggestive way. She had worn something like this when she had begun her journey, so it made sense that as she made completed that journey, she try as much as she could to appear like the teenager she had been.

Willow would have preferred to go into the water naked, much as she had done before. But she couldn’t, not with the possibility of being spotted by anyone passing on the nearby street. Willow also wanted to enjoy the sunset, for she knew that it would be the last one that she would be seeing in this fashion.

Glancing down at her hand, she saw Tara’s pearl, one of the few things that she would be taking with her on her journey back to the ocean. The only other thing she was going to be taking was the golden mirror, which she was holding in her other hand. Her discussion with Joyce had made her realize that it wasn’t something she wanted to part with. For a moment, she wondered if Tara would accept it much like she had accepted her pearl. It wasn’t as precious as the pearl, but it was something special to her. Would that be enough of a reason for Tara to accept it?

As the sun went down, Willow let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding and got to her feet. Taking her first hesitant step, she started towards the water, her strides growing larger and more confident with each passing moment. It wasn’t long before she had entered the ocean and was swimming out to sea.

Approaching the area near Tara’s private cave (and wondering if she should really be calling it that anymore), Willow closed her eyes and held onto Tara’s pearl as hard as she could. As she did, she broadcasted her thoughts, hoping that either Baji or Tara would feel her message.

”Baji…Tara…I’m heading back to the cave. I’ve…I’ve decided to come home. I’ll be waiting for you.”

Diving under the ocean as soon as she finished her thought, Willow headed towards the cave, hoping that she would not have to wait long for Tara and Baji to come.

**

Tara’s eyes, which she had closed while she was meditating, opened as she could feel Willow’s voice in her mind. It could only mean one thing: the redhead was returning to them. She smiled at the thought, knowing that, with the stigmas towards humans that her clan held no longer factored into the equation, she and Baji would be able to do all they could in order to make Willow more comfortable in the role she was about to take in her new family.

“Do you feel it, Tara?”

Turning, Tara saw Baji approaching. Smiling, she reached out and took her teacher’s hand into her own. “Yes, Master Healer. Willow is coming back.”

Baji returned the smile, but then her face grew serious. “Are you happy, Tara?”

Tara looked into her teacher’s face with concern, not really understanding what it was that she was saying. “What do you mean?”

“About Willow coming to live with us,” Baji answered, spreading her arms out in an all encompassing gesture. “But more importantly, I want to know how you feel about being brought back to life.”

Tara looked down at that, and Baji could tell that she was visibly distressed. “I am truly sorry for that, Tara. I truly did not want to do this, but Willow was in so much pain by your loss that I could not bring myself to refuse her request.”

Looking up, Tara sighed. “I know, Master Healer. But you of all people should know that using magic in that way is dangerous and could pose a risk for the one who casts the spell.”

“I know, Tara,” Baji said, coming to rest beside the blonde and taking her hand. “And that is why I must tell you something important. I knew when I enacted the spell that there was a danger to myself, so I tried to prepare Willow as much as I could about how to use her talent.”

“Her talent?” Tara was confused as to what Baji was talking about, but she quickly came to understand. “You…you mean that Willow…can use magic?”

“She has the innate talent,” Baji replied. “And during the spell we enacted to bring you back to life, I could feel a great deal of power coming from her and directed towards me. That, I believe, is the reason why you were brought back to us. It wasn’t due to my power. It was because of Willow. Her love for you and her need to have you in her life is a magic that not even my talent can eclipse.”

Tara still had one question. “But how can she learn to use a talent that she does not have?”

Baji turned away. “Because, Tara, during the link we shared, I used my magic to transfer all of my abilities to her. She now possesses all of my talents.” Seeing Tara’s shocked expression, she continued, “I knew this would upset you, Tara. But there was no other way. This is why I insisted on bringing you with me when I went to speak to the Elders. I could not have you run the risk of finding out what happened and telling her, adding to her problems.”

Tara had never thought about speaking ill towards her teacher and caregiver, but hearing what she had done made her seriously tempted to do so. But just as she was about to, Tara realized the logic of what she was saying. With the death of Buffy less than twenty four hours ago, the fresh knowledge that Faith had been killed, a death that could have been prevented, and believing that she herself was dead, imparting to the redhead the knowledge that not only that Tara was alive, but that Willow herself now possessed magical abilities, would not have been the best choice.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Tara,” Baji said, letting go of Tara’s hand and running her own through the blonde’s hair. “I am very proud of you, and I am sure that you will help Willow acclimate to our way of life.”

Tara immediately grew wary. “Baji, what are you saying?”

Baji swallowed. “Tara, the spell to bring you back has done a great deal of damage to my life force. I’m afraid it’s worse than I thought. I am dying.”

Tara’s eyes widened. “But…but you can’t. With the changes that our society is going to be undergoing, you’ll be able to be a vital part of our lives once again. And…” Her tongue caught in her throat. “And…there is much that Willow will need to learn about us, and about magic. She will need a teacher.”

Tara looked at Baji pleadingly, and saw that the elder mermaid was looking back at her. Comprehension dawned on the blonde’s face as she realized the unspoken intent in her gaze. “Oh, no, Baji. I can’t…I can’t do that. I’m…I’m too young. There is still much I need to know…”

Gently squeezing Tara’s hand, Baji brought her panic to a halt. “Tara, listen to me. In all the time that I have guided this colony’s magic users, I have never had a student who took to my teachings as quickly as you. You are a very knowledgeable and talented magic user. You have already displayed this in helping Willow deal with the pain she has suffered. All you need is the confidence to use your power without second guessing yourself. Willow will be able to help you, and you will need to be able to help her.”

Removing her hand from Tara’s hair, Baji gestured towards the water. “Now, go. Let the Elders know that Willow has returned. They will know what to do.”

Tara swam off, Baji watching her departure with a smile on her face. A smile that slowly faded as her body began to grow weaker. A slight shiver passed through Baji’s body as she fell back onto the rocks, her life force leaving her body. But despite the finality of the act, she allowed herself to feel comforted. Tara had found love, her society was going to accept Willow, and the two of them would become more powerful together than they ever were apart.

”I am so proud of you, Tara. And of you, Willow. Mother Ocean, God Poseidon and Goddess Amphitrite, may you watch over them.”

Baji closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of contentment, her final acts as her life force passed beyond the physical ream to join with the Mother Ocean, where she would watch over Tara and Willow with happiness and love.

[db]

Why? Why? Why?!


Why does *everybody* have to die... and by everybody I mean the good people.

wah!

And Dawn is being a brat, and Joyce is all sweet and good and supportive and, again I ask why everybody has to die?

[Devi Crystalseeker]

This chapter really spoke to me. Keep up the good work, Alex!

As for why Baji had to die - well, I'm not Alex, but I'd say it's because she was a wise old mentor and traditionally, 'old mentor' figures have to die before the last act (see also - Obi-Wan ), and to show us a peaceful (if still sad/touching) death as contrast to the violent deaths of Buffy and Faith. Basically, the way she died is a sign of both the healing that's going on and the price that had to be paid for it?

Dawn... well, she's Dawn. Of course, she isn't the Key in this fic, but I think Alex has still made it plausible enough that she'd act the way she did.

[Artemis]

Drat, I've been neglecting my feedback-giving duties

There's two things that've really, really stood out for me in recent chapters. One was the way that the opposing 'sides' in the conflict for the soul of Tara's clan were, finally, drawn for all to see - Willow and Tara, loving and kind and self-sacrificing, and the xenophobe faction, brutal to the point of destroying their own kind. There's a message that even the Elders couldn't fail to recognise, in the end.

The other is the sense of melancholy that settled over the last chapter, and that's something I've really enjoyed, odd though that seems. Normally at this stage of a story it'd be a case of sitting back and celebrating the end of whatever crisis was just got through, but here so much has been lost that can't be recovered - and for Willow, she still has to set aside her old life which, awkward though it has been with her love for water setting her apart from those around her, is still the life she's lived and known for all her, well, life. And the scenes that were, in their way, a testament to the people who're gone, and can't be brought back - poor Faith, alone and misunderstood, and Buffy, with her family there to feel her loss. I especially liked Dawn's reaction - for those who don't know about the merpeople, Buffy's death can only be an inexplicable tragedy, and there's nothing to cling to to provide a sense of stability after her loss - no meaning, or explanation.

And even for Willow, who's lost so much, and is now losing her life as it's been - even though she's found Tara, and is going to a new life that offers a happiness she was unable to find on land, it's been a difficult, painful transition, and it's only natural that she's feeling that.

[SithLordWiccan]

db: Not "everybody" died, you know. Just the ones who would provide the most emotional drama to the proceedings. And as has already been said, it was a quiet and peaceful death as opposed to a violent and bloody one. (I was kinda hoping to give readers the same sense that they get when they view Yoda's passing in "Return of the Jedi". If you can find the soundtrack somewhere and play the cue that happens at this specific point, I think you'll see the emotional impact that I was hoping for.

Devi: Yup, you've got it right. Baji's death was meant to be emotionally peaceful and bring an end to the arc that the "merpeople-hating-humans" arc. And this way it means that Tara can come into her own now, since she, as a childlike character undergoing as much a change as Willow is, has, for lack of a better term, growned up.

Dawn was meant to be the final link that gets severed in Willow's connection to the surface. By having her accuse Willow (quite rightly, in a sense, though she has no idea about it) that she was responsible for Buffy's death, I wanted to reinforce the fact that Willow's life has been one of pain and hurt, and one that she no longer feels a part of, knowing that she's being welcomed with open arms by others who feel like her: at home in the water and at peace with themselves.

Chris: No worries about leaving feedback, dude. I know that you've been busy with other things, and that whenever you leave feedback, I know it's well thought out and worth reading, as this feedback is.

I wanted the fact that the other mermaids finally see the love between Willow and Tara as the thing that makes them realize how wrong they have been in their xenophobia towards humankind. It helps that Willow is more alike than they give themselves credit for. They come to see that she isn't the harbringer of doom for their kind that they imagined her to be, but a wayward child that needs to be led back to the home that she's always known, but could never admit to others on the surface. (Reinforced by the fact that when Willow admitted as such to Buffy, things turned out rather badly for both of them.)

And I'm glad that you pointed out the melancholy mood that this fic has taken. I truly did not know what direction this fic was going to take, and it's only through the helpful suggestions of Sally (who contributed a great deal in that regard) that this fic decided to take the dark turn that it did. And I, for one, couldn't have been happier that I decided to do it that way.

I really wanted to cover in this chapter the finality as far as Buffy and Faith go since, as far as the land vs. water side of Willow, the land side is pretty much done. I wanted to cover that Buffy's loss will be one that has (and will have) an impact on those she loved most, while providing a finality as far as Faith goes, in that she, like Willow, was alone in the world, and a great deal could have been accomplish had they put aside their doubts and fears of one another and worked together.

And I'm glad that you enjoyed Dawn's reaction, since I really wanted to create a friendship between the two that I felt canon never bothered to cross. I mean, kinda got a glimpse of that in canon towards the end of Season 5, but for the most part, it was your standard younger sister resenting the older sister bickering relationship. I wanted to have the two of them be true sisters and friends, so that there is something that is lost between them (and that she feels blame towards Willow, given how, in both canon and here, the two were so chummy.)

Thanks for reading, guys. I hope to have the final chapter up soon.