Hello kittens,
Yes it's true, I have an update just for you (heehee, that rhymed
).
Warning: This update deals with the very sensitive issue of child abuse, needless to say, it's very angsty. Most of this is in the 'flashback', which is clearly marked & is mostly just back story, so, if you feel that you don't want to read it then skip through it, I promise you won't be missing out on anything that's integral or essential to the plot.
Right, now that I've got the warning out of the way, lets get on with the story shall we?
[center]______________________________________________________________________________________________[/center]
As the cheerful songs of the early rising birds informed the world that it was time for a brand new day, Tara awoke to the feel of gentle arms wrapped around her and the warmth of the rising sun softly caressing her cheeks. For a long, delightful moment, Tara was sure that she was still lost in dreamland.
The blonde slowly rolled onto her right side in order to nestle deeper into the arms that were holding her so soothingly.
A sharp lightning-rod of pain shot through her chest and brought her crashing down to reality; she knew that she was no longer dreaming.
The pain, which had lessened to a dull ache, caused Tara’s memory to recall the events that had occurred two days previously; just hours before she had packed up her few possessions and escaped from her father’s house.
----------------------------------
[center]
*Flashback*[/center]
Her day had begun, like every other day since her mother’s death, at five thirty. She had washed a pile of dirty laundry, by hand so as not to wake Donnie and her father, and hung them to dry in the back yard; cleaned the dishes which she had been permitted to leave the night before following her father’s midnight snack and had a full hearty breakfast prepared and waiting on the table when her father and Donnie finally decided to haul themselves out of bed.
The rest of her day had consisted of cleaning, cooking, completing assignments for two of the classes that Donnie had failed and been required to repeat in summer school; walking two miles into town for groceries and to run numerous errands for her father and brother; and generally being shouted at, insulted, ordered around and treated like a modern day Cinderella in the days before the arrival of her fairy godmother.
By eleven thirty, having been denied a decent meal all day and informed quite clearly that it wouldn’t do her any harm to lose a few pounds, Tara was both hungry and exhausted. She was not, however, sleeping, no matter how much she wished she could be. Tara’s day did not end until her father gave her permission to go to bed, which meant that the poor, exhausted teen had to sit up and wait for him to return from the local bar.
As Tara sat at the kitchen table, watching the clock and trying desperately not to fall asleep, she prayed; to any deities that might have been listening; that her father would return home in a good mood, or at least, not in a violent mood.
Unfortunately, on that particular night, the gods were not smiling down on Tara.
The crash of the back door slamming shut almost literally shook the small, cold kitchen and caused Tara to jump from her chair with a start.
She knew that her eyes had only been closed for a few seconds, or maybe it was more than a few seconds, but it had definitely been less than a minute because the long hand of the kitchen clock had scarcely moved.
Donald Maclay Sr. had, as usual, had far too much to drink and was looking for a punching bag. He was not a tall man, his physical stature was less than intimidating, but the second Tara saw the cold look in her father’s eyes she cowered in absolute terror.
A couple of hours later, when it was no longer unbearably painful to move and she was absolutely certain that her father was sound asleep, Tara crept slowly and silently up the stairs to her room, packed some clothes, a blanket, and some items that had once belonged to her mother into an old, tatty duffel bag and had left the house in which she had grown up without looking back.
[center]
*End Flashback*[/center]
----------------------------------
She didn’t remember exactly what had happened to her ribs. She did remember hitting the table as she fell to the floor, maybe that had caused the injury; or perhaps it had been a particularly powerful strike from her father’s heavy, steel toe-capped boots. Maybe it was both. Regardless of the cause, Tara knew from experience that her ribs were merely bruised and not broken, but they still hurt like hell.
But the pain was a good thing. She had needed to be brought back down to reality.
She cursed herself for letting her guard down long enough to forget her pain, to forget what her father had done to her.
How easily she had almost lost herself to the dream world, she had been kidding herself that the comfort she had felt the previous night, wrapped in Willow’s arms, could ever become a permanent state. She didn’t deserve that comfort, didn’t deserve the kindness that she had encountered since arriving in Sunnydale. She certainly did not deserve to be wrapped warmly and safely in a makeshift bed of cushions and blankets when there was breakfast to be made.
“Look at you, you lazy, ungrateful little bitch, just lying there like lady muck, in the lap of luxury. These gullible, trusting fools have been stupid enough to be nice to you, to give you a place to stay for the night and what are you doing to thank them? Over-sleeping, lying around like you’re on vacation or something. Why the hell should they wait on you? Get your lazy ass out of bed and start making the damn breakfast.”
Her father’s voice echoed through her head, putting her down, making her feel worthless.
Why would he not leave her alone? How far did she have to run to finally be free of him?
Mindlessly she obeyed her father’s instructions, she had spent too much of her life living in fear of displeasing him to even register the fact that he was not there to be displeased.
Following a quick wash with cold water, as she had learned to become accustomed to, Tara crept down the stairs and located the kitchen, where, to her surprise, she encountered Mrs Summers.
“Oh, uhm, I, I, uhm, h-hi, uhm…” Tara was flustered by the presence in the kitchen; she hadn’t expected anybody else to be awake.
“You do realise that its six thirty in the morning don’t you?” Joyce enquired, baffled by this startling evidence that it was actually possible for a sixteen year old to rise before mid afternoon.
“Oh, uhm, I, I’m sorry, I uhm, I over-slept a little.” Tara misinterpreted Joyce’s shock as a reprimand.
“Over-slept?” Joyce considered the youngster’s words and the accompanying apologetic expression, then she took a good, long look at the mousey, nervous blonde and knew that there was more to this girl than met the eye. “It’s okay Tara, you can go back upstairs and sleep some more if you want; you look exhausted.”
“N-no, uhm, th-thank you that, that’s v-very kind but, but I w-wanted to uhm, m-make breakfast. Uhm, i-is that uhm, okay?”
“Well, if you really want to, it’s fine with me, just so long as you know that it’s really not necessary.”
“O-okay, thank y-you.”
Joyce helped Tara to find everything that she needed, before explaining that she had to leave for work. Once left alone, Tara set to work making pancakes and toast.
----------------------------------
“Hey.” Willow smiled, rubbing sleep out of her eye as she entered the Summers’ kitchen. “You’re up early.”
“Oh, uhm, h-habit I guess.” Tara explained evasively. “Pancake?” She slid a perfectly round pancake onto a plate and offered it to the redhead.
“Mmm, yes please. You didn’t have to make breakfast.” Willow sat at the island counter in the centre of the kitchen and poured some maple syrup onto her pancake.
“Just uhm, m-my way of, of saying thank you.”
“This is yummy, thanks Tara. Oh, don’t worry about making pancakes for Dawn and Buffy, it’s still a little too early for those two sleepy heads, just, grab one for yourself and come join me.” Tara’s hesitated for a second. “Please.” Willow flashed Tara a flirtatious smile that she simply couldn’t say no to.
“L-last night was fun, I uhm, I’ve never h-had a, a s-sleepover b-before.” Tara commented as Willow poured two glasses of orange juice.
“Never? Really?”
“I uhm, I was n-never a-allowed, a-and I n-never really uhm, had a-anyone to, to i-invite.” Tara dropped her head sadly.
“Well, we have lots of sleepovers, and you’re very welcome to all of them so, you’ll get to make up for all the ones that you’ve missed out on.” Willow pointed out cheerfully in an effort to rid Tara of the sadness that dulled her bright eyes.
“I uhm, I d-don’t think uhm, I…” As much as it pained her to even think it, Tara knew that, with her father and brother still searching for her, she couldn’t possibly stay in one place for any length of time.
“Oh right, you, you’re not planning on stopping are you? Of course not, why would you? Sorry, I kinda got all, presumptuous and carried away didn’t I?” Willow couldn’t keep the disappointment out of her voice.
“Willow, I…”
Tara didn’t know what to say, she couldn’t quell the turmoil raging inside of herself, so how was she supposed to soothe Willow’s hurt feelings?
“I’m just gonna go, uhm, use the bathroom.” Willow made a hasty exit, leaving Tara alone and almost on the verge of tears.
----------------------------------
“Will? Are you okay?” Buffy walked out of her bedroom to find her best friend sat on the floor, with her knees pulled up to her chest and her head lowered.
“I’m fine.” The redhead mumbled unconvincingly.
Buffy wordlessly sat down next to Willow, offering silent support as she waited for her friend to reveal what had her so upset.
“It’s just Tara. I was all busy getting carried away with big daydreams.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. You like her and she likes you, so, it’s all good right?”
“No, it’s not Buffy. I mean, I thought it was you know? But, I was completely ignoring the fact that she’s just a runaway. She’s not gonna be here indefinitely, she’s just passing through. We could go downstairs right now and find that she’s gone, just as quietly and quickly as she got here.”
“She really likes you Will, don’t give up yet, she might decide to stay.”
“She’s not staying.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“She was trying to.”
Buffy took a moment to let this new information sink in, and a further moment to decide the exact right words to say to Willow.
“Well, maybe she will leave, but, that doesn’t mean that she won’t come back right? I mean, she really likes you, and she knows that you like her, so, when her family aren’t looking for her any more, and it’s safer for her to be staying in one place, she’ll come back and you can be together.”
Willow considered Buffy’s fairy tale interpretation of possible future events and slowly wiped tears from the corners of her eyes.
“You really think it’ll work out like that?”
“Absolutely.” Buffy wrapped her best friend in a tight hug. “You don’t have to make a movie to get your happy ending Will.”
“Thanks Buff.”
“Now, did I smell pancakes?”
“Do you ever think about anything other than your stomach Buffy?” Willow teased as the two friends made their way down the stairs.
As they entered the kitchen Willow instantly made her way to Tara and gave the blonde a friendly hug to show that things were good between them, whilst Buffy piled a plate up with toast, deciding to wait a minute or two before asking Tara to make more pancakes.
[center]________________________________________________________________________________________________[/center]
Okay, that's chapter 6 done, I know there was minimal W/T sweetness in there, but I promise there'll be more in the next update.
Also, for anyone who is reading
The Right Decision (& if you're not, please do, I've heard it's quite good
) you might be happy to know that I have been working on an update which should, hopefully, be posted rather soon.
Hugs
Jeanne
by cosmic dancer » Fri Jul 29, 2005 1:34 am 
just joking.
I have some updatey goodness to make it all better - forgive me? 
I don't know what breaks my heart more, the despicable way Tara's father treat her; or to see how badly she has been scarred and with so much self-esteem issues.
That was just so beautiful
smoochies aplenty in the future. 
- but of course 
Wow! Thank you so much, your feedback is pretty brilliant too 
- Grimmy likes my fic 
lol
