Title: The Sidestep Chronicle – Second Chronicle - Discovery (Part 155)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome. katharynrosser@hotmail.com Flames just demonstrate you have a tiny mind.
Spoiler Warning: Pretty limited. The story occurs in an alternate universe as set up in “The Wish” though reference is made to events that occur in both realities. Nothing is referenced that occurs after S5 though. Guess why? Most “spoilers” would be for the first chronicle of this fic rather than the show and if you haven’t read that then much of this will make no sense but you can try and get round it by reading the preface to Part 104 which summarises most of what went before.
Distribution This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens (This applies to all of the Sidestep Chronicle)
Summary:
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories. You know the drill.
Rating: R – a general rating for occasional content. Individual parts might be less than this level.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever – others couples as necessary but nothing unconventional.
Notes: See the thanks below for my disclaimer about marsupials.
Thanks To: All My Brilliant Beta Readers (AMBBR) Kerry (Forrister) who for some reason signed right back up for this fic after seeing the size of the last one. No accounting for madness is there. And Celia (TiredSoul) who should have known better but signed up anyway. *HUGS* and Big Thanks to all of you. This is one of Kerry’s. Would you believe how useful it is to have someone who knows the FACTS about koala’s on hand? If you are a writer and intend to mention those marsupials then make sure you have a knowledgeable (and preferably Aussie) beta reader on staff. That said, now Kerry has set me straight, Koala errors in the part below are those of the characters who, perfect as they are, do not have an Aussie on staff to set them straight (proverbially speaking.)
The Sidestep Chronicle – Second Chronicle
Discovery
By
Katharyn Rosser
Perhaps that parting comment to Miss Maclay, about her pendant, had been a mistake, given what he’d now surmised he needed to make his first task. A mistake which hadn’t been a mistake until he’d thought about the situation a little more than he’d been able to at the time. It was going to be a multi-step process to get all of his ducks in a row, and one of the first had to be to allow Darla, and what vampires she chose to bring with her, back into Sunnydale. The young woman he’d just met was nobody’s fool. Tara Maclay was definitely a clever woman as demonstrated by the fact she’d found him at all despite all the precautions he’d taken.
He hadn’t been testing her by hiding himself, she’d defeated some of the finest concealment rituals he’d been able to steal and learn for himself.
He knew that she’d certainly manage to put two and two together and come up with the right answer – even if she wouldn’t be able to prove it. Operating in the supernatural realms though, there was one overriding concern. It wasn’t whether anyone could prove anything against him – it was whether or not he got caught. Consequences here weren’t measured in time in prison, they were measured in terms of continuing to stay alive.
Or not.
Whilst he was still working on the ‘getting away’ part of his repertoire, he was vulnerable.
All he’d actually been wondering, he mused as he got ready to head down to the nearest pub for some of the typically very weak American beer, was what her reaction to a presence she couldn’t locate would be. He hadn’t been expecting her to find him, or if she had at least not so quickly. Such things as effectiveness were very telling in a person, and they would give him a handle on how she’d reacted to other things. On how methodical she was. How instinctive and above all how talented.
All in all it had turned out to be bad news. For the vampires at least.
She was clever and efficient. Methodical, inspired in her ideas, able to think on her feet and powerful with it. Something like a nightmare for the vampires, he was sure. In fact they’d spoken of her in such terms – without admitting it outright of course.
So what had be expected of her? First of all, for her to search mundanely, and then to turn to the magic to detect his presence. That, he’d been pretty certain, would have failed – as it obviously had done – and that should have been the end of it. All he’d actually wanted was to observe her ‘at work.’ Instead she’d actually managed to track him, trap himself and get him to reveal himself. It was easy to forget that, though she was still young, she was certainly a professional in this realm – as he was.
Like him she’d even earned money from it, for a time. Whereas now she seemed to be in the charity line, doing it for free. Probably from the goodness of her heart. Do-gooders, they always got in the way of the serious work – but then, in part, she was the serious work for him.
Still, the meeting hadn’t been a disaster. On the plus side he’d seen her at work and she might have staked him – or even worse done something magical to him. Just because Wolfram and Hart’s file on her suggested that she took a great deal of care to avoid hurting humans didn’t make it necessarily so. He’d seen files which had been… creatively edited for his consumption before. Besides the representatives at the law firm had also admitted that they hadn’t even really been watching her for about four years now. There had been an unfortunate tendency for things to keep happening to the watchers and… well, they really hadn’t been doing anything much apart from guarding Sunnydale anyway.
Four years, that would be approximately since the girl who had been a vampire had been returned to human form – though for a little while after… Wolfram and Hart had kept tabs on how that had gone, at least until their operatives started to turn up missing. The changing a vampire back to the same human she had been thing was something he couldn’t get any details on, and with his insatiable curiosity for all things powerful, was what he still wanted to know all about of course. It sounded like a ‘neat trick’ as these bloody yanks would have said. Everything here was ‘neat’ and ‘cool.’ Dartmoor in the middle of a winter night… that was his definition of ‘cool.’ Beer… best served ‘cool.’
It turned out all the lawyers had really done was to keep tabs on her address, her progress at University and the like. Mundane and largely useless things.
It was all very low-key compared to the reams of detail that had shown her prior activities, sometimes on an hour-by-hour basis. Wolfram and Hart seemed to have lost interest right about the time when she’d become a more stable and balanced person – when, in his most humble opinion, that was when they’d needed to step up their observation. Stable and balanced people were by far the most dangerous. They thought rather than reacted.
Somehow, and now he’d seen this with his own eyes, Tara Maclay had found a way to continue to use non-ritualised magic, in the long term, and still be ‘a good person.’ Ethan was well aware that magic was addictive. Fortunately he didn’t consider himself a ‘good’ person anyway and his magic, being overwhelmingly ritual based, wasn’t about to suck him into addiction, killer migraines and self-destruction. At least not just yet, not unless rules which had lasted for millennia were to change on him.
Her magic though... She didn't seem to be working by the rules of millennia and that was something which interested him greatly. She should have been a prime candidate for taking one trip too many into magic land and never being able to come home again. The reports he’d seen, though far from complete, even suggested that she’d feared it herself when the law firm had been watching for that sort of thing. She’d restrained herself, which was impressive enough, and ultimately she’d found a way past it. To say that he was curious how she had done that was a vast understatement. And the power she should, theoretically, be able to wield as a result… Unless the method itself limited her?
Talking to her had been instructive – once she’d figured out he was there and how to find him. Talking always shed light on people, it would have been his next step. That was why he was such a ‘people’ person and so eager to mingle with the people whose lives he was trying to affect. Ultimately it sometimes cost him, he was so wrapped up in their lives he couldn’t help hanging around just a little too long to see how his actions affected them.
But that was all part of being a ‘people person, ’ wasn't it.
Such people might have said, after the fact, that he had been trying to ruin their lives… but that wasn’t true except in a very simplistic way. They shouldn’t really take his intervention so personally – it was never personal when he did something that ended up hurting someone. It was either part of the jobs that funded his own activities or a devotion to blessed Chaos – and he’d hardly be chaotic if he was genuinely targeting specific people now would he? There had to be an element of chance.
Without chance, and chaotic destiny, it would imply caring who had gotten hurt by him. And that would make him some sort of psychopath, he’d be setting out to hurt someone with deliberate intention.
The truth was he really didn’t care – whether they got hurt or who it was if they did. Chaos really didn't care, it was part of what made it chaotic. That wasn't a mental condition, he’d have been another kind of psychopath in that case, it was a belief it was the definition of his existence. Not that he had a problem with mental illness, the differences between all people, was a part of the infinitely chaotic universe. If everyone was the same then where would he have been. It would have been extremely dull, even if everyone had been like him.
And as he thought of things that were ‘no fun,’ he was reminded of something else. The vampires were no fun at all – they saw him simply as ‘human’ and, if he was fortunate, perhaps ‘useful human.’ Darla was not one for talking to humans. The next step, with her, from even ‘useful human’ was ‘dinner.’
Drusilla on the other hand was happy to talk him, dead things, puppies and herself – but Ethan had the sneaky suspicion that perhaps she wasn’t quite as devoted to the ‘plan’ as Darla was, and that the lack of devotion would be characterised with him being eaten anyway. He was useful to Darla because she was following a plan, thus he could assume she would forbear from eating him for a time. Drusilla, who ‘liked’ him more, cared about the plan less.
Who was the bigger threat to him?
He really wasn’t sure.
Letting, and getting, them back into Sunnydale was a complication he would much rather have done without. He could achieve everyone’s aims better and quicker by keeping them away for a while longer, but then… Well, getting them back into the town was part of his contract and he had to admit that with Darla in her mood, the vampires should also distract some of the heat from himself.
After what he’d observed the distraction might well prove necessary, otherwise Miss Maclay wasn't going to look for long before she figured out that certain things that were certainly going to happen were down to him. Perhaps revealing himself at all had been a mistake, confirming there was someone else in Sunnydale – someone new – who could use magic. Who would her other suspects be?
But it came right back to the fact that he was a people person. He needed to see, speak to and have interesting conversations with the people he was going to be working with, for and against. Them and the attractive waitresses who might not mind a visit to his hotel room for a tumble.
Later for that, though hopefully not too much later. Darla and Drusilla would keep Miss Maclay occupied for at least a little while after their arrival – especially if she could no longer find them with that lovely little trinket of hers. It was plain what he had to do about that. The vampires should also then be free to stir up a little trouble and general chaos of their own. More chaos was never something he was opposed to, at least as long as it didn't interfere with what he’d been contracted to do here.
The more he thought about it, the more certain he was that the pendant was going to be the key to vampire survivability in Sunnydale, at least in the immediate period after their return. Meeting that young woman, rather than just watching her, had also proved to be instructive in that regard. The pendant, and especially the stone that was the active part of it, didn’t appear to have been newly created either. It bore the scars of being aged through use. Miss Maclay would probably be used to it, reliant on it and hampered by its loss.
He had to wonder why it had taken her years to find the nest of vampire underneath Sunnydale if she was reliant on that pendant. Darla hadn’t been taking people from the town – at least not in noticeable quantities – which was a tactic he had to applaud in terms of keeping herself hidden, but if Miss Maclay had that pendant and went out hunting them with it then how could she have missed them?
It was possible that the ground between the pendant and the vampires interfered with it’s powers… But given that the signalling method appeared to be pain… It seemed less likely. And if the ground blocked it… then surely so would buildings. It would be practically useless for hunting vampires which were, by necessity, very urban focused simply because they needed the available people.
Given that concrete and stone wasn’t likely to interfere with it, if it was to be of any use at all, which meant detecting over tens or hundreds of metres rather than a dozen or less then…
It seemed unlikely, but what else was there? For whatever reason it seemed that she must have stopped wearing that pendant or stopped patrolling… The former seemed the more likely, perhaps because of the pain? Was it too intense for her? No, he mused. If it had been crippling pain then she wouldn’t have been able to focus on using the magic which had ultimately destroyed the vampires. If the pain had interfered with that then it would have made the pendant worse than useless – it would have actually been dangerous to wear. It might hurt her but it wasn’t stopping her from doing magic which took focus and concentration…
There was certainly some reason though – which really didn’t matter to him he supposed. It would have been nice to know because it would have been another insight into her psyche.
He supposed that she thought she was on top of things now that Darla and Drusilla were out of town – all their hordes of vampires destroyed – and now she was being careful again. Pain was, perhaps, her self-imposed punishment for allowing it to build up into that state before.
Good for her. She should be careful, it wasn’t a good idea to ever stop being careful. It was a dangerous place, this town. And she was going to have to be even more careful once he took that pendant away from her. Her good habits now were going to help her later – and good luck to her then. She wouldn’t have that pendant to rely on – at least until she could make another one – but he wished her every success in fighting the vampires. Darla and Drusilla starting to feel that they didn’t have a need for him wouldn’t be in his best interests.
He’d have to be careful too, as he was associating with those same vampires… He wouldn’t want to be seen by Miss Maclay as guilty by association, especially being as he would most certainly be guilty. And during his other activities… The important ones, he didn't need them, Miss Maclay and her partner, interfering because they considered him to be in league with their enemies.
She’d seen him now and knew that he did magic. She even knew where he was staying in town. If he’d been concerned he could have moved, but he wasn't going to do so. He couldn’t really be bothered because if she wanted him – she’d find him anyway. That was what magic did, the great enabler. And besides there was rather an attractive lady on reception during the day shift that he liked the look of and, quite frankly, fancied his chances with too.
That lady liked a snappy dresser, she’d told him so as she had admired his shirt.
Snappy dresser or not, he knew he’d be first in line in Miss Maclay’s suspicions when things started to happen, which was hardly fair even if it was extremely correct. She didn’t even know him, how could she judge him? Even rightly.
People, in general, did seem to get the wrong impression about him… or perhaps the right one but for no good reason they could explain or prove. It was a shame that they couldn’t just trust him a little more – it would make some of the things he had to do that much easier and then they might not have so much of a problem with them. At least until they had good reason to find him guilty of what he’d done to them.
He didn't set out to hurt anybody – well not many people. But he was willing to accept some casualties. What was it the American’s insisted on calling it? Collateral damage. He supposed it was a very user friendly term for knocking seven kinds of stuffing out of people who shouldn’t have been in the firing line – usually their homes were the firing line.
It was chaos taking a hand of course.
Of course, working out the best way to unravel her ritual was going to be interesting. And instructive too. Unpicking the magic that formed the pendant’s power apart would teach him a lot about her – how her mind worked and perhaps even what books she’d learned her craft from. He had her pendant down as the result of study, though she might have been improvising when she created it… now that would be impressive at the age she had been then. It was attuned precisely to her.
She wasn't so old today, and if she’d been using the pendant since she’d started hunting vampire – seeking ‘justice’ as the file had said – which was a thinly veneered form of ‘revenge’ as most justice was – then she’d have to have been very, very talented at a very early age.
Even if she hadn’t been behind the creation of the pendant, in which case it had certainly been made for her, she was definitely very talented, and powerful, now.
He was betting she’d made the pendant though. Desperation was often the best inspiration. Possibly the father of invention, always assuming ‘necessity’ wasn’t messing around with invention.
How often had he personally placed people in desperate situations and seen them come through it in totally new and unexpected ways that they didn’t even know they had in them?
Well, not that often actually – but it did happen he was sure. It was the sort of thing you heard about. Miraculous escapes and the like. He’d have to make sure to avoid leaving such miracle loopholes. Loopholes were, in one sense vital, but in another they were sloppy work.
Miss Maclay’s magic though, miracle or no miracle, taking it apart there would still be tell-tale signatures which would be revealed to him. Ones that would point to her tradition, or the texts which had formed her earliest instruction. She might have grown beyond those things since then, but it would give him some indication on how best to handle her.
Aside from carefully, of course. Careful would have been middle name, if he’d had one.
The possibility that was hopefully going to make this first task a little easier was the one where she might not have chosen to ‘defend’ the ritual from magical manipulation. It wasn't certain that she’d ever have come across some capable and, more importantly, wishing to dismantle some of her ritual magic before. Ethan had gone for fifteen years before someone had tried it against him. It wasn’t an easy thing to do at the best of times, and if she’d never considered that possibility… Things would be easier that way.
Her personality seemed to be such that he was already quite certain she would have tightly constructed the pendant and the ritual that went with it… But on the other hand her file suggested she’d once been utterly obsessed with destroying vampires – which weren’t inherently magical at all. They were demons, certainly, but they were excluded from magic and thus no threat to the tool she had created. She’d never have thought that a human would wish to unravel a spell to detect vampires – when only a human could… Or at least only something that wasn’t a vampire could.
Aside even from that it should be, in theory, so much easier just to take a hammer to the stone itself. End of problem. Of course, that notion necessitated physically getting it away from her, which was hardly as subtle as sitting in a room miles from her and never actually touching the thing. Nor was it, apart from the simple violence of it all, as interesting to him. If he’d wanted to destroy things – apart from the fabric of order in the universe as a whole – he’d never have bothered with magic and would have bought a big hammer with him.
It wouldn’t teach him anything about her either, and he didn’t have a hammer.
Hopefully using his own methods, once he’d done what was necessary, she’d assume that the magic in the pendant’s construction had simply failed, or perhaps something else had intervened. Suspicion, again hopefully, wouldn’t fall his way – but then he always had been a big believer in the power of confession to avoid pain – if he did get into trouble – and the best thing about her was that he was sure she wouldn’t choose to cause him pain which was just one of the reasons why he found he liked her already.
Ripper, on the other hand, was another matter when it came to pain, but his old chum was a bridge he’d cross later.
--------------------------------
“So, you were chatting to strange men whilst you were out hunting tonight?” Willow asked teasingly as they watched the koalas on TV. Strange animals koalas – all cute and cuddly but… strangely slow until provoked. And when provoked their teeth and claws seemed capable of being anything but ‘cute.’ Not to mention the fact they were bound to reek in a way that was guaranteed to clear your nose out. One wonderful thing about watching TV with someone who was deaf – or at least just turning the closed captions on for yourself, which Willow had found herself doing automatically in the last month or so – was that it was just like watching a foreign film late at night.
Even if most foreign films didn’t involve koalas. It seemed European and artsy with the subtitles, and in this case also with eucalyptus eating bears.
More interestingly than making it seem foreign, artsy and better, was being able to both hear and read the words at the same time. Actually the interesting part of that was seeing how different those versions of the words often were – totally missing regional idiosyncrasies that made characters or real people who they were. Sometimes it was totally different. Sometimes the mouths moved for about thirty words and the subtitles came up with ‘Yes.’ There was something getting lost in the translation there, though it was the foreign films that were worse for that than the closed captions Toni replied upon to watch ordinary TV.
“I wasn’t ‘chatting’,” Tara insisted – her hands were as strident as her voice as she signed a more formal version of the same words for Toni. There was very little thought involved in doing that now.
Willow did the same thing, automatically again, but it was still amazing to watch Tara sign the words as she spoke. It wasn’t like Toni was necessarily interested, or even looking at every word they said – though in this case she was – but it was just a habit they’d fallen into. Practise was important, learning any new language. And they could assist in that learning process by correcting the words that were just plain wrong for each other. Sometimes humorously wrong. Sometimes it could be so funny that they forgot to get to the actual correction.
There were times Toni just got this look, they knew it now. It said ‘I really hope you have no idea what you’re saying.’ They didn’t often do it twice once they’d been told.
Toni was a very forgiving teacher though – and quite patient. She was a little like Tara in that respect. Tara was going to be a good teacher and if Toni wasn't a world champion athlete then maybe she could find something in a similar line. She had the knack for it, or at least she would if she could stop laughing with her students. Or she could be anything else she wanted… Jenny was impressed by her attitude and there was a solid enough base of knowledge there too. Toni probably knew more than she thought she did, she was always running down her scholastic abilities. If she’d just work a little harder… but then Toni was probably going to get a college athletics scholarship.
She was supposed to be more than good enough for that, but maybe she wouldn’t have to rely on that if she pushed herself more in her studies. Next year, when she enrolled at the High School officially, always assuming she was still here, then they’d be able to look at that. Toni probably didn’t realise that, at least with Jenny, she was already looking at stuff that was beyond the curriculum of people her age.
Toni didn’t want to be a geek, but if they kept educating her beyond her expectations like this they might be able to sneak it up on her.
But now was the time to take Tara to task for doing a no-no. At least it would have been a no-no if she'd been a decade younger. Goddess, were they really thinking in terms of being a decade younger now?
Yes, they really were.
Eeek! When had that happened? Probably when they’d take in a girl a decade younger than Tara. But then Tara was the old one around here. Through a freak of mystical insignificance Willow had a few extra years of youth on her side. That made her feel better.
“Sweetie, you were in the street talking to someone you didn’t know,” Willow said with a smile on her lips. She wasn't really worried. Tara could more than take care of herself… Or anything that even deliberated about threatening her. It was just that they didn’t meet many people – not to talk to – when they were out hunting vampires. Especially like Tara had tonight, hardly a random meeting. The streets were usually pretty empty once the bars closed, though busier than they once had been. There had been a time when Willow remembered finding anyone to eat.
An involuntary shudder ran through her.
*Don’t talk to strangers,* Toni quoted with a gently mocking smile on her own face.
It wasn't something Willow recalled saying to her in the past, but she knew they’d trotted out a lot of the things parents always said to kids – just to be sure Toni knew them…
Little realising Toni had more common sense and street-smarts than either of the two of them had at her age. Maybe they, and especially Tara, deserved a little gentle mocking now after that. It was okay. They all knew they’d been doing it for the right reasons. Tara could take it and Toni knew that too.
“I didn’t talk to a stranger,” Tara said then looked at them both. “Well, okay I did – but I wasn’t chatting to him. ‘Chatting’ isn’t what we were doing. Not at all.”
“But, you noticed his shirt,” Willow told her. This was kind of fun – teasing her baby – and it seemed that she had a willing ally in Toni. Again. She was sure that the young woman would join with Tara in teasing her, when the time came, and in fact it already had… Toni had teased her and Tara. And they’d teased Toni. Everyone was teasing each other now, though some of the teasing she and Tara reserved for each other alone. A different kind of teasing, and she didn’t mean driving Miss Kitty wild with pieces of string either.
Miss Kitty looked disgusted with herself every time she fell for that. Instinctual desire to play overcame feline pride.
The more general, humorous teasing, between the human residents was all like a part of the gentle discovery process. The part that came after ‘getting to know you’ where you figured out what another person’s limits were – and just how far you could go beyond them and still be found funny, or reasonable… or at least be tolerated.
It was natural – it was how people got along. And Toni, despite all that had happened to her and was still happening in some ways, had what Willow thought of as a fun loving nature. It was probably harder to get to it than it had been once, but once you got past the determination, the genuine tragedy, the pride and the communications difficulties she was a funny kid – and more adult than any fourteen year old had a right to be. In that regard she reminded Willow of what Tara must have been like once.
Figuring each other out had been the biggest hurdle. When they’d reached the point that they really knew each other, then they had been able to start to try and put that ‘issue’ stuff aside. Since then they’d been getting on pretty damn well, thank you very much.
“I just noticed his shirt was a particularly bad one – and you’ll recall I noticed he was invisible first,” Tara pointed out.
There was that. “And English,” Willow went on, still surprised how well Toni was doing in accepting a world in which there could be invisible people. From her reaction she was better with invisible than she was with more English people.
“No, let’s not be forgetting invisible.” Tara did what Jenny had described as a ‘passable imitation’ of Willow herself. Just to tease her back. Willow couldn’t see it was very good, but then she knew that everyone heard and saw themselves differently to how the rest of the world observed them. And everyone laughed when Tara did that, so it had to be pretty good. Toni had even started to impersonate her in sign, not as many people laughed at that – they were all a bit hesitant sometimes.
No doubt it would be funnier as they all picked up the nuances to signing… Willow wasn’t even sure what nuances she was putting into her signing. Sometimes Toni would smile as she watched a perfectly serious, and grammatically correct, sentence form before her… It was unnerving when it happened.
And thinking of all things for the hearing impaired… The other good thing about closed captions were that you could talk over them, vocally, without missing anything at all. That was cool – but then they were still paying attention to make sure that they caught everything Toni might say, so when the girl was there, they gained less than they might have. But between the sound and the vision, they were still getting the narration about the koalas.
“Okay ‘noticing girl’, Willow thought it was a shame that she couldn’t make the signs she knew have the same meanings as the tone of her words yet – but as Toni smiled she guessed she might be getting somewhere with that. “How,” she went on, “did you notice him if he was invisible?” Aha. This should be interesting…
Tara seemed to realise she was making a mistake even before the next words left her mouth. “I felt his presence.” She said it slowly and was waiting for the next thing from Willow’s fingers.
“Sweetie, you leave his presence alone,” Willow said. She could hardly keep from laughing out loud now. “Besides you sound like something out of Star Wars.” Magic… There was just no way to dissociate it from the biggest pop culture referencing phenomenon of the their life times.
*Use the force Luke,* Toni added with a huge grin on her own face. *I guess L-e-i-a in a metal bikini was a big turn on for you guys, huh?*
Willow, like Tara, only got the word bikini at the second time of asking. And once they got it they looked at each other, incredulous that Toni was, after just about two months, as familiar with their boundaries as she appeared to be – and willing to push them accordingly.
That would teach them to tease. Or so Toni would be thinking.
“You’re getting cheeky,” Tara said to her, trying to inject a little sternness into her signing.
“And, more importantly, we’re not so old as to remember that first time round… at least not in a way we ‘liked,’” Tara replied. “Right?”
Willow nodded. She’d been how old in 1984? Not old enough for that… Though watching it with Xander a few years later… Oh yeah, she could take Toni’s point then. Even if she hadn’t realised at the time what those points might have meant.
*I just think I know you by now,* Toni replied. *Both of you.* There was something about how she signed the word ‘know.’
“Toni, you do realise that we have to see the caseworker tomorrow,” Willow let the sign hang in the air. That was her attempt at a light-hearted threat. Whether it worked in sign was for Toni to judge. Not many people took a lot of notice of her ‘threats’ – probably because she wasn't that great at them. No one ever believed her. Perhaps she was just too nice to be threatening. Once there had been a time...
*And I’m not allowed to be cheeky?* Toni asked. *Is that in the handbook or something?*
“They still haven’t delivered the handbook that goes with you,” Tara said absolutely deadpan. Toni just looked at her then stuck the tip of her tongue out, which Tara matched – but with a little flickering motion Willow recognised.
Toni actually blushed and pulled her own tongue back into her mouth. Score one for the witchy gals. Toni thought she knew them? She hadn’t known Tara would respond that way, then again neither had Willow.
“You have to be respectful of your elders,” Willow said, wondering how that squared with Tara’s little stunt. She was also trying not think about just what she’d done to her elders when she hadn’t been herself. Vice-Principal Snyder. Her Mom. Lots and lots of others – nearly all of them older than she had been. The one good thing about Sunnydale back then had been that no one let their kids out on the street. Not whilst she’d been there. She was going to be all back–in–the-now-Willow now though, thinking of her girlfriend’s tongue stunt.
Hmm, she might have to ask for a repeat of that later on.
*You’re not my elders,* Toni told them.
“And yet I feel older than she is,” Tara said to her. “Not much, but some.” The ‘not much’ was the important part.
Willow nodded and they turned back to Toni, wondering what it was she meant. Was she trying to flatter them? They really weren’t old enough to start worrying about their ages, even though Toni’s presence had made the issue more immediate.
*You’re not old* Toni said again. *At least not compared to the people you hang out with. You’re not even twenty-five yet right?*
“We’re not old,” Willow said to her love, stressing the point and not wanting to get into the true details about her age.
“So Rupert’s obviously old,” Tara acknowledged. “But who’s going to tell Jenny that she’s old too?” she asked looked back to Toni. “She might not have realised yet. I know I hadn’t.”
Ah love, you might have her there, Willow thought as she watched Toni’s reaction. “We’re not old,” Willow said yet again. “I think I like Toni better already. She thinks were young…”
*You’re more middle aged than old,* the young woman completed.
Middle aged?
And that was just it. A prime reason for not having kids if there ever was one – gay or straight – kids made you instantly old. Or at least older than they were. It was the only reason she could think of though at that moment – and not a great one at that. There was a basic truth at work here; they were older than Toni.
But not much older. That was important. The lack of a ‘much’ was critical. If they had been her parents, aside from the slightly strange chromosone thing happening, they’d also have been waaaay underage. But….
“Middle aged?” they both asked together, fingers and lips in perfect harmony in a way that Toni could watch. Toni, as usual when she had nothing to say, just had an expression on her face.
Toni was good at having expressions – she had one of the most expressive faces, other than Tara of course, that Willow had ever come across. Not ‘come across’ like she might… with Tara having interesting expressions of the intimate variety. No, she needed to stop that way of thinking – babble in her head wasn't good. Words she could get trapped into. In her head she needed to be clearer than that.
On Toni’s face was an expression that was amused, innocent, devilish and still – because it never quite went away – pained and hurt. One day, Willow was sure, those last attributes would fade. She knew they had for Tara… and she supposed Tara might say the same of her. They’d never, any of them, forget what had happened to them. But Toni would learn to move on past it and have moments where it wasn't actually there… One day. She was making good progress – not wallowing except when someone pricked her memory… and she had a perfect right to wallow even if they did.
Willow had wallowed.
Even Tara had wallowed in her time.
And if Toni needed to wallow then that was just fine too. Perhaps, really, they were the best people in the world for Toni to be with right now. No matter how wonderful anyone else, bar the girl’s father, could be… No one would really understand it all like they did. Not like she and Tara. And that was why Willow was really glad that they had been allowed to do this with Rupert and Jenny. That they had been considered responsible and caring enough for this very important task.
More important than the courts and social services had known.
It wasn’t just a question of looking after Toni’s housing, food and education – though those were, obviously, very important. Or even about her happiness – which was paramount – but in there had to be understanding too. And okay, she and Tara, as well as Jenny and her husband, weren’t deaf – but they understood things about the world, and the loss, that anyone else probably never would have been able to without a tragedy in their own lives. A tragedy of this kind. They understood the full truth of what had happened to this girl and they knew just what it took to get your life to a place that was beyond that.
And getting beyond meant working through, so if Toni was accepting a world where people could be invisible, then that was a step in the right direction. A world in which she and Tara were middle aged though – now that was freaky and wrong.
At least it was now. Give it twenty years and she might accept it.
“So what did you think of this guy?” Willow asked after they’d considered being regarded as middle aged for long enough. If Toni was young and Rupert was old, there was a kind of logic behind the scale. Perhaps if they redefined Rupert to middle aged and Toni to kid? But back to what Tara had said. Invisible guys didn't chat to you for no reason, or talk, there had to be something behind it all.
Tara just hated to be judgemental so sometimes she didn’t volunteer an opinion as hastily as Willow herself might.
“I think… I hate to say it because I don’t really know anything about him but-”
*You have a feeling,* Toni’s fingers flashed just as Willow was saying the words.
Toni was getting to know them way too well. Were they parodies of themselves or something? Predictable? Were they really… old? Sorry, middle aged and set in their ways.
Tara nodded, confirming the existence of that feeling. “I think he’s probably trouble. For us, the town. Everyone maybe. I don’t know.” She lay back along the couch and rested her head on Willow’s knee… still able to see both the TV and Toni from there.
It was strange how Tara could do that. She could announce ‘trouble’ and then just relax. It never ceased to amaze Willow. If she’d been the one who’d met this guy, and had a feeling about trouble she’d have been running around trying to find things out – probably futilely – or to make plans. She was the action girl, after all. But over the years, or so Willow’s theory went, Tara had seen so much ‘trouble’ that she’d conditioned herself to face it when it came – or when she decided to do something about it – rather than worry herself overly much about it beforehand.
This guy hadn’t actually done anything so far, and he appeared to have been human too. Human, so they couldn’t just stake him, or run him out of town for no reason. They couldn’t do anything now, so they could worry about him later, or so Tara’s theory would go. When he had done something.
That was Tara’s theory at least but there was a problem with it. Tara usually found herself worried about bigger issues than the immediate problems. At least as far as Willow could see. She could put what seemed important – but really wasn't – aside and that just opened up room for the big, life changing, really important stuff.
‘Big Trouble’ would worry Tara – of course it would. But this guy wasn't ‘Big Trouble’ yet. He was just trouble. But not ‘A Bit of Trouble’ either. He was enough trouble to make Tara have a feeling. More than a bit and less than a lot. And that might be why Tara was having trouble determining how bad that might be.
“He wasn't nasty or anything,” Tara reassured them, “there was just this… vibe I got from him. A trouble vibe.”
Both of them looked at Toni, waiting for her to translate ‘vibe’ from spelling into an actual sign, but she had nothing to offer but a shrug. There wasn’t always a sign, or at least not one which came to Toni’s mind. There was ‘vibration’ of course but that seemed a bit excessive and a good deal less slangy than it needed to be.
“I think we’ll need to watch out for him,” Tara announced.
And that was the way it would be. Tara knew when things had to be done to keep people safe, to keep them safe, she wasn’t going to let this English guy with the bad shirt endanger them – or anyone else – not if she could help it. Nor could they actually do anything yet. Tara was right about that. While they certainly might be the executioner of the weird stuff in Sunnydale, they definitely weren’t judge and jury. Not when it came to humans. The actions of this guy would lead to his judgement.
He hadn’t done anything yet… not really. Even if Willow didn't like him following Tara like he had done.
“We never had to face a real person who could use magic before,” Willow said. “At least I never had to. Did you?” In part she was explaining to Toni that this was something new to them, but she added the question when she realised she had no idea whether it had been part of Tara’s past before coming to Sunnydale.
Tara nodded, which surprised Willow. Her girlfriend had never said. “Once or twice. It’s more common than you’d think. Magic can… Well, it can suck people down into a deep dark hole unless you’re really careful,” Tara signed – clearly for Toni’s benefit again. Willow already knew that. “And once they’re there in the hole they can’t get out of it. It’s never pretty when it happens. Sometimes they try to pull you into that hole with them, or lash out.”
Willow looked at her expression… It was a little disturbed.
“There was a witch here in Sunnydale,” Willow had a sudden recollection of Tara telling her that once up on a time, when she’d been illustrating why they couldn’t be as free with the magic as perhaps they might seemed to have been able to – at least not the old magic. The dark magic. What they did now was safer and this guy’s interest in that ‘safer’ magic was… worrying.
Magic as they practiced it now might be safer for them but they trusted themselves – and each other. If he figured something out about… Something maybe they didn’t know or know how to counteract…
Willow was pretty sure that their kind of magic wasn’t going to be available to him – it really wasn't even theirs. They were gifted it – and it was a gift that felt like it could be withdrawn at any moment if they abused it. And it only came to them, like this, because they were in balance with each other. Perfectly in balance. Natural, together… in love.
That was what she thought anyway.
But she knew that Tara wouldn’t take a chance on him getting his ‘hands’ on it – if that was even possible. Magic with fewer of the restrictions? That would be dangerous with anyone who was likely to be ‘trouble.’
Tara wasn’t even entirely happy with the fact that such ‘easy’ magic was ‘available’ to them – apart from the good that they could do with that – but in the hands of someone else? And someone she suspected might be… trouble. That wouldn’t be something they’d allow to happen, even if they’d known how to let him have access to it. Or if it was even possible. If he wanted to know the source of the magic… Well, let him try to find out some other way. Let him find out that he wouldn’t be able to do anything with it. They wouldn’t make it easy and Willow was sure he’d be frustrated even if he did find out.
It wasn't something anyone could take or make his own. It was… a product of their union. She and Tara’s love, their balanced partnership, was the catalyst.
She pulled herself back from her musing as she saw Tara was about to continue.
“She was called Amy,” Tara told her. “She was…” She paused, thinking what best to say and Willow saw her eyes flicker towards Toni. But then, they’d already gone into the way the world was in front of this girl – she knew more than most people ever would about monsters and magic. It was the unavoidable consequence of her experiences and of living with them.
And then Willow remembered why Tara might be worried about telling this story – or perhaps another one that was connected with it – in Toni’s presence. It was of those things about their past they didn’t like to mention because it would open the door to questions. More importantly, if the answers were revealed in the wrong way, then perhaps it could lead to requests and things that just couldn’t be allowed to happen.
The fact they wouldn’t be allowed to, or be able to, happen was one thing – but more than that they shouldn’t really be contemplated by a grieving young girl. It would just hurt her more, and spoil everything they’d achieved so far.
That way led to badness and sadness. Or could do. Tara was right to worry about that sort of thing. Tara, in general, was more often than not, right when it came to judging Toni, which made it a shame there was still that lingering awkwardness between them. Her instincts were so often dead on. What she said here would be the right thing, but… she seemed to be struggling for the words on this subject.
“Possessed by her Mom,” Willow finished for Tara. That was the simplest thing to say and addressed everything they needed to actually bring up right now. It wasn’t, in Toni’s presence, a good idea to try and find her way around, ‘the one who brought you, the vampire you, back on behalf of a law firm that later brought the real you back. Oh, did we mention its possible to bring a destroyed vampire back as a person?’
Oh no.
None of that in front of Toni. Places that none of them needed to go, because it couldn’t be done again. They had nothing to offer, for all that would matter to Toni.
“She’s gone now….” Tara added with a grateful rub of Willow’s calf for providing the best term to use. “But I had to fight her, to find out about why… Well, to get her free of her Mom,” Tara told them. Willow didn’t miss the fact that Tara had almost slipped, but she’d caught herself and Toni would just think it was part of the hesitancy. “Amy’s Mom was… She’d taken over Amy’s body. Her Mom was the one who was bad, Amy wasn’t, at least not then. Later, she was just kind of carried away with the magic after her Mom had been…”
“Removed?” Willow suggested. Her baby was struggling with this story, for reasons Willow should have put together faster. This wasn’t a great topic for right now as she’d already concluded. But there was no way to tell the story without revealing some of it, or sounding hesitant. Tara had wisely opted for the latter.
Tara nodded at her suggestion.
*Did you kill her?* Toni asked.
Willow looked at their guest. There wasn’t a smile, or any other expression on her face – other than the sense that maybe she expected the answer could be ‘yes.’ Was that what Toni thought of Tara? That she killed people? After all they’d done for her?
Perhaps on the evidence that wasn’t all that surprising, if you regarded vampires as people – which they didn’t, but Toni had a good reason to still do. The things Toni had seen Tara do, in the supernatural realm, might have pointed her that way. But she would have seen Willow do exactly the same thing if their positions had been reversed. Willow could and would have done the same things, including to Toni’s dad, if she’d been the one who needed to do it? Hell yeah. Would Toni have been looking at her and wondering if killing people was her solution now?
Probably, yes.
Besides… Willow, more than most, knew that Toni’s Dad hadn’t been a person at that point. Toni didn’t know that though – not in the same way that she and Tara did. She’d been told it, she’d said that she understood it – but she didn't really get it. No matter what he’d been doing – threatening to hurt her. To hurt a child too. It wouldn’t matter in the rationalising part of Toni’s head. Maybe it wouldn’t have until he’d killed her and then it would have been too late to think.
Maybe Toni had her reasons, but thinking it and saying it were two very different things.
There was no reason to ask Tara that. Willow didn’t have to look down at the woman she loved to know that she’d be hurt by the implication – she might even try to hide it – but Willow knew it was there all the same. Toni shouldn’t have done that.
*Do you think Tara would kill someone?* Willow signed forcefully without saying the words. Just in sign. Just for Toni. Tara, laying across her knee couldn’t see anything but Toni and the TV. All she would be able to do was feel Willow’s fingers catching her hair as she did so.
Toni, true to form, wasn’t phased by the force Willow used. But she didn’t hesitate to answer either. *No.* And there, perhaps, was the truth. Toni asked, but she didn't believe it. So why ask at all?
Perhaps there were doubts there. Perhaps she couldn’t get the idea out of her head, even if she really knew it wasn't true.
Willow waited a beat, to see if the girl would apologise to Tara. But she didn’t. Some things, clearly, Toni felt she didn't need to apologise for. Like asking Tara questions like that. “Good,” Willow said to Toni. No apology, but she didn’t think that of Tara – which Willow would tell her lover, later. “I think, in the end, Harmony ate her,” she said to them both then.
*Everyone dies around here* Toni signed.
Willow paused. It was true, to a point, but they’d made things better. Toni knew that.
“Whatever happened to Harmony?” Tara asked Willow.
Willow thought about that. Tara hadn’t really known the girl as anything except a vampire – a not very successful vampire, which was why she’d found a certain amount of fame. It wasn't even that she was a survivor – she had just bumbled her way from kill to kill and never bumbled her way into Tara’s way. Willow remembered her though, both before and after she was turned.
Harmony hadn’t been a member of the Order – she’d been one of those that the Master would have had killed on sight. Maybe someone in the Order had caught up to her. Maybe it had been that Slayer Tara had known at the time. Tara only knew who Harmony was from the stories that Willow had told her anyway, and the almost mythic ineptitude of the girl turned demon. It was tough to remember the vicious girl she had been when Willow had known her, she might actually have mellowed as a vampire.
Harmony had definitely possessed more potential as a teen bitch than as a vampire.
Harmony was ancient history though – Amy and more importantly her Mom’s possession of her were the point of the here and how. Tara had been forced to act to stop ‘Amy.’ And that was an example of Tara defeating someone who was also using magic, which was the whole point. Willow knew that it hadn’t been pleasant for her, which would be why Tara hadn’t told her much about it. Magic wasn't a product of the physical body. It was a part of the mind and the soul - just like love – and to fight it you had to get into the mind. Into the soul…
It was realising about that, which helped Willow understand.
A fear of getting inside someone like that was the main reason why Tara clearly wasn’t looking forward to this at all and probably why they’d lapsed into silence as they had. Also it allowed Toni to get off the hook for asking her question. Silence suited everyone at the moment. They were just watching koalas doing what koalas did. They were experts at being koalas. She’d never seen anything more koala-like than koalas. They didn’t really speak, or sign, about much at all until they’d wished Toni a good night and headed to bed themselves.
It was an unspoken agreement to drop it, and Toni’s question about killing Amy had really been what had stopped the conversation. Willow had to allow for the fact that Toni might not want to talk about it. Perhaps she had deliberately sabotaged the conversation? Perhaps it had been subconscious.
Perhaps Toni had just wanted to know. Maybe even to reassure herself that what she had come to know about Tara hadn’t been tainted by ‘another’ death.
“I just hope he’s not a bad guy – like a big bad,” Tara said finally when they were alone.
“Me too baby,” Willow agreed. They could really do without that, there was enough to do in hunting vampires, rogue demons and passing upcoming exams without this too. One good thing though – he was human and not some blood sucking fiend. If he was bad in any way then it wasn't likely to be for anything other than the human motives. It would be for the power, the money or something like that. Something that was easily understandable and therefore combatable. They might even be able to persuade him of the error of his ways without fighting him. Humans had the ability to reason, though some less than others..
At least she hoped that might be possible. She didn't want them to have to do anything… permanent to a human.
Willow lay down on the bed, still fully dressed, resting her head on her hand and watched Tara starting to get undressed. Something she liked to do when she could. It didn’t take much of that to take her thoughts from ‘maybe’ bad guys with bad shirts to a ‘definitely’ very lovely girl who she loved more than the world itself. “So,” she said as Tara’s sweater came over her head, “Princess Leia? In the metal bikini? Did that do anything for you?”
Tara paused, the sweater covering her face, seeming to think in that slightly comical pose. “Well, on balance I have to vote, yay,” she said finally. “But not at the time.”
Willow nodded even though Tara couldn’t see her.
“I mean, I was a little young the first time I saw that film to really… appreciate her… not knowing the full gayness that was me at the time,” Tara explained and, dropping the sweater over the edge of the dresser, came over to Willow.
“The ‘full gayness that is you?’” Willow asked her, suddenly intrigued. It sounded interesting…
“You know, the part of me that sees you, reclining on the bed like a queen, watching me undress,” Tara said. “That ‘full gayness that is me.’
“Or possibly a princess,” Willow countered. Princess sounded younger, and though she was younger than Tara she didn't want either of them to fall into Toni’s erroneous definition of middle-aged. They were so not middle aged.
“Or a princess,” Tara conceded, “and anyway, part of me just melts when I see that. I mean, okay,” Tara went on as she stroked Willow’s hair and Willow lightly kissed her lovers stomach, “that’s not the ‘full’ extent of the gayness that is me but it’s a start. Anyway… what about you?”
“Me?” Willow asked, a little confused as to just where Tara was going… Seriously light-hearted talks about their sexuality, snuggling and kissing, full on ‘take me woman’ loving or… All of the above?
“You and Princess Leia?” Tara prompted with a smile.
“Back then, I was even younger than you. I didn’t even see that until I was about ten… and right then I was still pretty sure that I was going to marry Xander. Or possibly Ken.” It had been the plan she’d had on and off. And not in a romantic way – she’d been a little young for that – but it had seemed… Well, they’d been friends for like ever and she’d just thought that friends got married. That was how it happened to a ten year old. “But if you wanted to rent it I could certainly stand another look.”
“It seems to me you’re getting a look at what you want right now,” Tara told her as Willow looked right into her eyes.
“Didn’t need the force for that, huh?”
“No, I can see right through your smouldering looks sweetie,” Tara assured her.
So Tara thought she could see right through her huh? “You won’t need me to get undressed then?”
“Well, I didn’t say that, did I?”
*************************
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If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.
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How funny! Tara has way better instincts so I am putting my money on her! And you know I must be really gay cause when you write that stuff at the bottom, part of me just melts. Thanks for the update 
if this was some TV show, that would never have happened and that is what i love best about fics.. they don't bend to any rules or public opinions! i can't think of anyone else emmm.. lets say brave, enough to do that.. lovely! 
anat.
So cute, but then now I am wondering what happened with the pendant, was Ethan's magic good enough to break the spell on it? What happened to Willow? And so now back to homework actually then back to reading so I can find out what happens , 
Thanks for the updates babe!
but i'm not sure i'm so happy about that, cuz i enjoy this place.i can read at my own pace, i don't have to wait.. its all good. but still i can't really help it, i can't stop reading when i start.. damn u! it's all ur fault! lol.. 
cuz those parts are just beautiful. 
