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Fic: Fractured

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The one with the feedback (finally)

Postby Marilda » Tue Apr 27, 2004 7:48 pm

Hey guys, sorry I've been so remiss about the whole acknowledging of feedback thing. I do appreciate everything that you guys say. I can't respond to each individual one right now, but know that reading your words of encouragement and excitement fill me with joy. Each and every one of you is awesome.



I wanted to apologize for the lack of an update, I've been feeling hella stressed recently with school finishing up and my total lack of readyness for finals. I will, however, try my best to have something done by this weekend.









Marilda
 


Re: T

Postby mollyig » Thu Apr 29, 2004 2:49 am

No worries Marilda



You just make sure to take care of yourself and try not to stress too much. We'll be here waiting for an update when you are able to make the time to do so.


"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

mollyig
 


Update, update, he's our man!

Postby Marilda » Sat May 22, 2004 11:56 pm

“Willow? What’s wrong?”



Willow looked up at Tara for a second, seemingly dumbfounded. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, she stared for a second longer and then shook her head “No.”



“Are you sure?” Tara asked.



Willow nodded and looked down at her coffee cup.



Tara nodded and moved to sit down, still holding on to Willow’s arm. “I, um, okay. Well, anyways, thanks for…” She trailed off then suddenly let go of Willow’s arm. “No.”



Willow, who was trying valiantly to mask her overwhelming emotions behind the guise of taking a drink, stopped suddenly. “No?”



“We’re not going to start out this way.”



Willow put down cup and stared at Tara. “Start? What way?”



“This way,” Tara said, gesturing at the two of them. “We…I won’t do this again.”



Willow was mentally chastising herself for allowing things to go so wrong so quickly. Here she was with one simple assignment for herself: Keep Tara happy, and already, she had failed miserably. The other girl was visibly upset and agitated and, Willow knew, it was all her fault.



“Tara what? I don’t…”



“I don’t want to start with the hiding and the hurt…”



“Hurt? There’s hurt?”



Tara grabbed Willow’s arm again, “Damn it Will, tell me what was wrong.”



Willow sat back and looked at the hand holding her arm, “Oh.”



Tara squeezed the hand, “Please.”



“I, oh, it’s not my place.”



Tara looked at Willow in the eyes, “I’m asking you, therefore it’s your place.”



Willow stared back into Tara’s eyes and had to mentally shake her head before getting lost in the deep blue depths she saw. “I have no right to. I mean, it’s your life. Who am I to?”



“Willow please don’t make me ask again.”



Willow opened her mouth as if to protest some more, the looked down and sighed. She nodded slightly and looked up at Tara again. “I, um, that girl…” she took a breath, “are you, I mean, is she…your girlfriend?”



Tara looked up at Willow, confused. She looked back out the door and realized that Willow must have seen her hugging Jessica. Surprised, she looked back at Willow.



“Jessica?”



Willow shrugged, “I guess.”



Tara looked down at the smooth white arm she was still grasping in her hand, and took a moment to revel in the feeling of it beneath her palm. The smoothness of the skin contrasted wondrously with the pads of her fingers.



“Would that bother you?” she asked, softly.



Willow looked at Tara in the eye. She stared for a second, seemingly searching for some clue as to how to respond. Finally, she sighed.



“You want the truth or the less-complicated platitude?”



“Truth, please,” Tara quickly replied.



“Immensely.”



Tara took a second to process the answer, “Oh.” She couldn’t stop the smile from overtaking her face, “Okay.”



Willow saw this and turned her arm over, putting her hand over Tara’s. “Well?”



Tara shook her head. “She’s just a friend. I haven’t, I mean, there hasn’t been a-anyone else since you.”



Willow took a second to process the answer, “Oh.” She couldn’t stop the smile from overtaking her face, “Okay.”



Marilda
 


Re: Update, update, he's our man!

Postby onyxsundrops » Sun May 23, 2004 7:26 am

I liked Tara insisting that they not start off with the hurt, and pressing for Willow to tell her what was wrong. Thanks for the great update.



Yvonne:peace

onyxsundrops
 


Re: Update, update, he's our man!

Postby sam darls » Sun May 23, 2004 7:38 am

Ooh, yay an update..:heart and a lovely one. Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

sam darls
 


Re: Update, update, he's our man!

Postby allykat » Sun May 23, 2004 10:03 am

Yay!! Updates!!! Love them, thank you so much!:bounce



allykat

allykat
 


Re: Update, update, he's our man!

Postby ShyTemptress » Sun May 23, 2004 1:37 pm

Howdy:bigwave

Dude awesome, i want more though:) :) :) I love Dawn shes so cute. I'm glad you have Tara wanting the completel honesty, I was afraid she was gonna leave, but yay!

-Shy Southern Temptess:kitty

ShyTemptress
 


Re: Update, update, he's our man!

Postby DreamsToDream » Sun May 23, 2004 8:58 pm

oh an update!!! and it was great!!! its soo cute how they are jelous of eachother tee hee



DreamsToDream
 


Re:

Postby mollyig » Mon May 24, 2004 3:30 am

Tara was right to insist that they start of by being honest with each other, and I'm so glad that Willow complied.



Thanks for the update - hope you're well.


"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

mollyig
 


Re:

Postby veiled isis moon » Mon May 24, 2004 4:44 pm

I'm so happy you updated! And i'm glad Tara wanted to start things off properly, with honesty and the truth. Our girls are sooooooo getting back together!



Michelle.x

veiled isis moon
 


Wow, been a while...

Postby astrangerhere » Tue May 25, 2004 7:43 pm

Marlida-



ya know, i had almost forgotten about your little story. So mcuh so that i had to re-read just for the last part ot make sense. But ya know what? it was worth it. I can't wait to see how you use your summer vacation to breathe life back into your story. You were doing so great to start with. Anyhow, thanks much for the update, and looking forward to more.



ash

Can you help me with this heart in my chest? It ain't perfect, but you should see me use it.

astrangerhere
 


Finally, a break. Also, an update.

Postby Marilda » Tue Jul 13, 2004 4:40 pm

No time. Thanks for feedback, I appreciate it so.



Here's next part. Off to work.



Tell me what you think, please.



Everything went well. There was laughter and hesitant looks and “accidental” touching. There were phone conversations and first visits to each other’s new homes. It was a slow process, and deliciously torturous. It became harder at night, right before they said goodbye. That’s when things, their strength and willpower mostly, were tested. That’s when they kissed. When they tried their best to not let things go to far, because they feared that once unleashed, there’d be no control over their passion.



Tara closed the door behind her and slowly and deliberately turned the lock before leaning back heavily against wooden frame. She turned it not because she was afraid that Willow would barge in and ravish her, rather she was afraid she’d unhinge the door and go after the redhead, push her up against the nearest wall and well, fuck the brains out of her.



She let out a strangled laugh and felt herself blush at the thought. It’s just, she swore she could feel Willow on her fingers, taste her on the tip of her tongue. She slowly ran said tongue around her mouth as if to recapture the essence of the other girl, but all that was there was the slightly fruity taste of her own lip gloss.



“This is getting ridiculous,” she said to herself.



“What is?”



Tara looked up into the mischievously smiling face of her roommate.



“Oh, nothing.”



“Uh-huh.” Jessica said, her eyes twinkling.



Tara looked at her more closely and rolled her eyes. “Oh, hush you.”



Jessica raised her hands in mock surrender, “Didn’t say a word.”



Tara just shook her head and took off her scarf and jacket, putting both on the coat hanger by the doorway.



“So here’s my question,” Jessica began," and please feel free to stop me when you think it out of line…”



“Now, then.” Tara interrupted, while putting her keys in the glass bowl by kitchen.



Jessica went on as if not hearing, “This girl is, by your own admission, the love of your life. And you’ve been miserable since you left her. I mean with the moping around and the whole not smiling thing.”



“I smiled.”



“Tar, honey, I can count with one hand the amount of times you’ve smiled since I met you.”



“Maybe you’re just not a funny person?”



“Hmm,” Jessica said, as if considering that option. “Regardless, now she’s back, has been for over two weeks. The smiles are more frequent. Suddenly, the clouds have disappeared. The air is clearer. All that bright, bright, sunshiny day crap.”



“Oh, please tell me you’re not going to s-start singing,” Tara said as she flopped down on the couch.



“Maybe later,” Jessica continued, undeterred. “All your old friends have stopped by the place. I mean Dawn comes and brings her sleeping bag every other day.”



Tara sat up in the couch, “Is it bothering you? Dawn spending the night?”



Jessica waved away Tara’s concern. “Oh, please. I love Dawn. Girls got spunk.”



Tara leaned back on the couch again.



“The point is…”



“Finally,” Tara said, slightly exasperated.



“You know all your friends would be shocked if they found out about that smart-alecky mouth of yours.”



“It’s only with you,” Tara said, smiling slightly.



“Aren’t I the lucky one? Anyway, the point is that all these people come into the revolving door that is our home and Willow has been in here once, for approximately five minutes. Why is that?”



“Maybe she doesn’t like you?”



“As if.” Jessica said, sitting down next to Tara on the couch and tentatively laying her hand on the other girl’s knee, “Seriously.”



Tara looked up at the other girl, “Seriously?”



Jessica nodded.



Tara sighed, “Maybe I’m afraid if I let her in, I won’t want her to leave again.”



Jessica squeezed Tara’s knee slightly, “Would that be so bad?”



“No,” she hesitated, “yes.”



“Which is it?”



“It’s just, it’s Willow, you know?”



“And you don’t want to screw it up?”



Tara nodded her head slowly.



“We haven’t really talked,” she admitted softly.



“What do you mean?”



“I mean we’ve talked, obviously w-we’ve talked, but not really. Not about us. A-about what kept us separated.”



“You haven’t talk about the breakup?”



Tara shook her head.



“Why not?”



“W-we started to, but I don’t know, it just got h-hard. It seemed easier to just let it go. We talk around it. And it’s like we’re starting over. Like everything is new again. And she’s just so beautiful and I get caught up. And maybe it’s easier to forget.”



Tara shook her head, “I can’t believe I just said that.” Tara sat up again, “I just found her again. And I, I love her,” she said nodding her head resolutely, “I won’t lose her again.”



She turned and looked at Jessica, “I can’t ignore it anymore can I?”



Jessica shook her head.



“If I, if WE don’t talk about and sort through the problems, t-they’ll just come back again later. This is how we ended up here in the first place. Us not t-talking and letting things fester until the only o-option was for me to leave. God, I’m a coward.”



“No, Tara, not again. It takes two people, honey. If a relationship goes bad, it’s usually both people’s fault. I see you two and both of you are carrying the weight and responsibility squarely on your shoulders. She because of her addiction, and you because you think you shouldn’t have left. When it’s so obviously not an either or situation.”



“Okay,” Tara said, placing her hand over the one on her knee, “I see what you’re saying.”



“Oh, good, cause I was starting to confuse myself.”



Tara smiled and patted Jessica’s hand, getting up from the couch in the process. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”



“It might be hard,” Jessica said from the couch.



Tara turned around, “Oh, I know it will be. But, I...it’s just….I won’t l-lose her again, Jess. I can’t. I’m fighting this time, I…I’m fighting. No more running away.”



“Good.”



Tara smiled, then turned and walked toward her bedroom, “I just hope I can keep my hands to myself in the meantime,” she said, under her breath. She opened the door to her bedroom.



“How’s that libido doing?” Jessica shouted.



Tara froze for a second, then slowly and deliberately walked through and shut the door. She rolled her eyes and softly said, “You have no idea.”









It turned out that she had less self-restraint than she thought. That became abundantly clear when she did in fact pin Willow against a wall and began sucking on the redhead’s bottom lip.



Willow moaned, but pulled back after a minute with a hesitant, “Tara?”



Tara was breathing heavily and leaned her forehead against the smaller girl, “I’m sorry, it’s just you’re so beautiful Will. Goddess, you’re so beautiful.”



She reached out with her hand and began lightly stroking the other girl’s cheek. “My Willow.”



Tara leaned back a little and took a look at Willow’s dress again, the dress that had captivated her imagination much more than the play they had both gone and watched tonight. The dress was black, low cut, and clinging to Willow’s body in all the right places. That plus the way the redhead’s legs looked in the high heels she wore made it impossible for Tara to concentrate on anything but trying to keep her hands to herself throughout the night.



Willow smiled and placed her own hand over the one on her cheek, “Baby, believe me I’m not complaining, it’s just,” she looked around, “here?”

Tara blinked, looked around, and smiled sheepishly when she realized that she had dragged Willow to the darkened alley behind the theater. “I wasn’t g-going to, I s-swear, it’s just that you’re heel strap loosened and you leaned over and um, well…” she shrugged helplessly.



Willow laughed and leaned up to kiss the blonde. It was meant to be a quick kiss, but as soon as her lips connected to the blonde’s her body and senses took her. She slowly wrapped her hands over Tara’s neck, effectively pulling their bodies closer. Their mouths were now opening and closing teasingly allowing each others tongues brief tastes.



Tara moaned and put a leg between the redhead’s, making the other girl’s dress ride up. She pushed her thigh up higher until she felt the heat from Willow’s center through the cloth of her pants. “Mmm, baby,” she said, pulling away slightly, “we should go. This isn’t the safest of places, plus, um,” she kissed the other girl again, “we still need to um,” she sighed when Willow moved down and began sucking on her neck, “talk.”



“You’re right,” Willow said, as she began pulling up Tara’s cashmere sweater, “that would be the um,” her hands deftly pushed Tara’s silk bra over her breasts, “practical thing to….” They both groaned when Willow placed her hands over Tara’s breasts, her palms grazing over erect nipples, “um, do.”



Tara placed both hands against the wall on either side of Willow’s head. Her breath coming out in short gasps. Willow began licking then sucking on the pulse point of Tara’s neck. Her right hand kneaded her breast and pulled the painfully erect nipple through the web of her fingers.



“Goddess,” Tara said, when Willow twisted her left nipple lightly.



Willow smirked against Tara’s neck, “Actually…”



Tara leaned back and looked at Willow questioningly.



“Nothing,” Willow said, and captured the blonde’s lips again, “well talk about it later.”



Tara took one hand off the wall and cupped Willow’s sex over her panties. Willow opened her eyes in surprise and arousal. She was about to close them again when she saw two slightly disfigured figures walking towards them. She sighed and grabbed a hold of Tara’s wrist before she could go any further. “Or I guess we could talk about it now.”



Tara looked at Willow, confused, “Sweetie? What?”



Willow gently pushed Tara off of her and gestured with her head towards the two vampires that were almost upon them, while pulling her dress back down.



Tara turned and looked, annoyed at the interruption. Her eyes widened when she saw what they were and she began looking around for something to fend them off with. She let out a startled squeak when she realized that her breasts were still hanging out, and that the vampires were, at the moment, looking at them with lechery. She pulled her bra and sweater down. She turned and looked at Willow and saw that the redhead had moved slightly in front of her, her stance tense and defensive.



Tara looked around, hoping to find anything to use as a weapon. Spying a broken piece of wood, she began moving toward it cautiously. Before she could however, one of the vamps grabbed a hold of her arm and twisted it painfully, causing her to let out a whimper.



Willow’s eyes darkened in anger, “you’re not going to want to keep doing that,” she said, turning to face him more fully. Tara looked up and saw the other vampire with a hand extended about to hit her, she opened her mouth to yell in warning when Willow extended her hand backwards forcefully. A bolt of lighting came out of nowhere and stuck the vamp, incinerating him instantly. The other vampire and Tara both looked at the place were he stood with shocked expressions on their faces.



“Let her go,” Willow said. The vampire extended his hands and backed up slowly. Then he turned and ran away. “Baby, are you okay?” Willow asked. Tara rubbed her arm and nodded. Willow turned and looked at the sky then back at the vamp. Another bolt of lighting seemingly coming from nowhere stuck the other vamp and incinerated him too.



Willow closed her eyes and said something under breath, then walked slowly toward the blonde.



Tara backed up slightly, hating herself for the move.



“Baby?” Willow asked, reaching for her.



“T-that w-was magick,” she said, feeling stupid at stating the obvious.



Willow nodded.



Tara crossed her arms and pulled into herself. She looked down and felt her hair covering her eyes. Then she sighed and looked back up, “W-why, I-I mean, I-it b-broke us up. Willow, why are you doing magick? I, um, I though you s-stopped, got o-over it.”



Willow nodded and moved to touch Tara’s arm, when Tara pulled more into herself, Willow let her arm fall uselessly to her side. “I did, for a while. Then Buffy got shot. I’ve been using it since. I thought you knew.”



Tara shook her head. “I-I didn’t.”



Tara felt tears forming in her eyes. She looked down and then back at Willow, her eyes filled with betrayal, anger, and fear, “How could you?”



Marilda
 


Re: Finally, a break. Also, an update.

Postby Spikeizmine87 » Tue Jul 13, 2004 5:17 pm

:jaw

What! First with the nice...and now with the...ohh willow! :fit2 that is sooo wrong!! Ok so I finally decided to finish reading all the parts up until this, I like this fic alot!!! Damn Willow has to ruin everything! Well I hope everything turns out ok and that Tara realizes that Willow was just doing it to protect her....please? Man please let everything be ok! Thanks for writing! :)

:pride

-Rose

AKA: Spike is not mine 87 :) I dont want him...I want Tara!

Spikeizmine87
 


Re: Finally, a break. Also, an update.

Postby onyxsundrops » Tue Jul 13, 2004 6:17 pm

I was wondering if what Willow wanted to talk about 'later' was her continued use of magic, but since she thought Tara knew-never mind. I can understand Tara's feelings of betrayal, but it isn't solely Willow's fault. They've had the opportunity to discuss it rather than going on assumptions. Anyway, great update. I'm sure I'll continue to enjoy the story as you continue updating. Thanks.



Yvonne:peace

onyxsundrops
 


Re: Finally, a break. Also, an update.

Postby shuyaku » Tue Jul 13, 2004 6:28 pm

Definitely agreeing with Rose on this :jaw

It starts off all sweet - more talking, 'dating' and touching and then :punch I kinda feel bad for Tara, but in a way I'm like, well that's what you get for assuming. It should seem pretty obvious to Tara that Willow no longer uses magick for fun or for her own gain (at least I hope I'm right in assuming those facts - ya' never know :glasses ) She used it for protection, especially protection of another. I'm guessing there is going to be lots of angst ahead...



Great update by the way

-shuyaku

Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)

shuyaku
 


re: Finally, a break. Also, an update.

Postby ange04 » Tue Jul 13, 2004 7:05 pm

up until the end, there were lots of :banana ! :pinky then BAM! tara's all aggro-girl because willow saved her with magick. hello.....still alive, ungrateful, much? :wtf willow stayed on the hellmouth unlike SOME people. tara is seriously :crazy . i think she needs a motrin.



please update and make it better.

ange

ange04
 


Re: re: Finally, a break. Also, an update.

Postby wimpy0729 » Tue Jul 13, 2004 11:21 pm

Okay, they were getting along so well, with some talking, and then the kissing and then the pushing up against the wall (I really like the thoughts about the pushing up against the wall) :eyebrow



But hey, it wasn't dark magic, it was of the good variety, only for the good, so that should be acceptable, as long as it is controlled and only for the good, right? It's all gonna be good, right?



Can't wait to see what's next!



Wimpy

"There was plenty of magic." ~ Tara

wimpy0729
 


Re: re: Finally, a break. Also, an update.

Postby sam darls » Wed Jul 14, 2004 1:55 am

Ok, that was umm..wow :heart ..Everything was going good and then the ending..:( ..poor Tara. Wonderful update. Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

sam darls
 


Re: re: Finally, a break. Also, an update.

Postby Arwen276 » Wed Jul 14, 2004 3:47 am





starts greatly, ends badly, thus proving that they should have talked first, kissed LATER!! even though I was secretly urging them to do so :P



Anyway, I think Willow needs to explain to Tara her new way of using the magicks, ... we shouldn't blame Willow... I mean if you all forgot! Re-read the first parts, about her saving BUFFY and HOW she did it!



Hope Tara can understand that when they'll talk!





more please?



~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

Arwen276
 


Re: re: Finally, a break. Also, an update.

Postby mollyig » Wed Jul 14, 2004 4:37 am

It's good Tara had Jessica to talk to as it made her realise that she needs to make the step to start discussing the hard stuff with Willow. This realisation might also help her to give Willow the chance to explain her side, i.e. why she's still using magic, and how she feels she has a better understanding of it.



Looking forward to the next update. Thanks.




Sheacht mh'anam déag do bhéal, do mhalaí's do ghrua

mollyig
 


Re: Fractured

Postby bluehippocampus » Wed Jul 14, 2004 8:31 pm

Yay! :pinky Updatey goodness :pinky

I hope they'll get things cleared up soon. Looking forward to read more.



BH

Beauty in things lies in the mind which contemplates them - David Hume

bluehippocampus
 


Re: Fractured

Postby BurningWhiteRose » Thu Jul 15, 2004 12:27 pm

:spin Tara, Tara, Tara...Never assume my dear, never assume. :spin .



And Willow you doof! All you had to do was float the stake. It would have scared her less. But, they did hurt Tara...



hmmm...



Lets let them sort it out. Im just going to hurt myself.



One more thing: :drool :thud :thud :drool .



Sincerely,

:flower BWR



***

If homosexuals dont reproduce, why are there so many of them?-Jim David

BurningWhiteRose
 


Feedback

Postby Marilda » Sat Jul 17, 2004 10:53 pm

Hey guys, I've got a bit of a break and just wanted to stop in and say thanks for all the kind words and for reading this story.



I'm actually halfway done with the next part and should be posting it around the beginning of next week, or this week depending on your time zone.



It seems that the vein of the feedback right now is that Tara overreacted and I tend to agree. I just think she was thrown for a loopy and well...you'll see.



I kind of want to apologize for a couple of things. First, I'm sorry I'm such an irresponsible writer. I seriously have no work ethic so my updates are erratic.



Second, I'm hot and cold. I think I have my good and my bad days. I know I can write, if not well, at least adequately, but lately I feel that my writing has been a bit off. And not just in this, in pretty much in everything. Writing for me has always been a means of expression, a cleansing of the soul, if you will, but lately I've been pretty much a font of nothing (as Buffy would say). And everything that I write seems to portray that. I've read my last update again and I cringed. It's shoddy and blah.



I don't want to, and I refuse to, quit because this (fan fiction) is my only means of writing for fun, but lately even this has been a horror. It just seems as if I'm trying to hard for miniscule and seemingly unworthy results.



I really don't know why I'm dumping all this on you guys. I just wanted to say I'm sorry that my writing hasn't been up to what I think it should be and I apologize. I am however, grateful that you're still reading and endeavor to do better in the future.



Thanks for taking the time to read.



Marilda
 


Re: Feedback

Postby CEsgirl13 » Sat Jul 17, 2004 11:49 pm

wow..this is great im really liking it. hope theres an update soon.

~Jamie

When you choose to hold the rose you are also agreeing to bleed.

CEsgirl13
 


reply to author`s feedback

Postby willohand » Mon Jul 19, 2004 6:48 am

now you listen up missy,there is no way am i going to give up on you and this wonderful fic your writing. im sadden that your all with the down on mysel blue`s. but hey im sure all the other kittens agree when i say from the time i started reading this so long ago ive beenm in love with it.as long as you conitinue to write i shall continue to read it. feel better and know that im loving this . i look evertday to updates although its way to fast and way to often to expect updates like that. please feel better. and if you have to take a break from it ill never leave you. ill wait and wait to read yet another chapter from you.

willohand
 


Re: reply to author`s feedback

Postby BurningWhiteRose » Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:41 am

Alright, everybody listen up. Im only gonna say this once:



The greatest authors hate their writing. They cant stand to look at it. But when they hand in their writing, down trodden and thinking its bad...SUCCESS! People out there fall in love with them, so they force themselves to write more.



Or at least, thats my theory. The moral of the story is: Authors usually have low self esteem. But it doesnt mean the writing is bad. Believe me hon, I know bad writing. Ive seen the worst. Granted, its all from people in my class at school who have no imagination and live in a box, but hey. Its bad writing.



You my dear, Write wonderfully.



Im begging you to keep going.



Sincerely,

:flower BWR

***

If homosexuals dont reproduce, why are there so many of them?-Jim David

BurningWhiteRose
 


Re: reply to author`s feedback

Postby veiled isis moon » Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:04 am

Hi , i thought i left feedback for your last update, but i didn't, naughty me! Anyhow, really enjoyed the last update, regardless of what you think about it, missy!! The fact that they're getting on and both confessed that they still really like each other and have all these conflicting emotions and feelings when they're around each other, it's fun! They want each other so bad but they don't want to rush or spoil anything.



I think personally, Tara's reaction was what you'd expect. They haven't spoken about magic in fear of spoiling things between them, so it's understandable that Tara would have assumed that Willow gave up magic. She would have been a little shocked to see Willow take out those vamps if she thought Willow didn't use magic anymore. I think, once Tara has time to think about it and talks to her new and old friends, she'll realise that maybe her reaction and actions were a little dramatic.



As for your writing abilities of late..................it's wicked, like it always is, silly!! So no more bad mouthing your talents.



Michelle.x

veiled isis moon
 


Re: Finally, a break. Also, an update.

Postby Irishgrl3 » Tue Aug 10, 2004 12:06 pm

This is one of my favorite works in progress. :applause Looking forward to an update hopefully soon. :pray

Irishgrl3
 


Re: Replies and Update

Postby Marilda » Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:38 pm

Hello all,



It's been forever, I know. I just wanted to take the time here and thank you for your kind words. I was all maudlin and depressy in my last post and you encouraged me.



Burningwhiterose and willohand: thank you, sincerely.



Thanks everyone for continuing to read, it means a lot to me.



Anway, here is the next part.








And now we come to the part of the story that is really about love. Not the love that is shown in movies or read about it books. Not the butterflies in the stomach or flowers on the first date. Not the first time you feel someone touch your skin. No, this is love in its purest form. Love after infatuation. This is about the falling and the getting back up.



Some people never try, you know. After the falling, some never try the next step. It seems too hard, too much work for seemingly minute results. Instead, they gather into themselves, examine their wounds, and move on.




Tara felt herself beginning to do that. She felt herself withdrawing, already closing off her heart against further hurt. She started to turn; her feet were already in motion, already set to get to the moving on. But she stopped and remembered and refused to brand herself a coward yet again.



Instead she turned back toward Willow, sighed, and took in the redhead’s shocked expression.



Willow quickly began to talk, explanations and justifications already on her lips.



Tara raised a hand to stop her, “Wait, before we do this…wait. I, I’m sorry.”



Willow hesitantly inched forward, afraid to move too quickly for fear of scaring the other woman away.



“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Willow stated. “I should have told you. I shouldn’t have assumed that you knew.”



Willow looked down at her hands, the hands that moments ago called upon the goddess to grant her request.



She shook her head in disgust, “I should have considered how doing this would have made you feel.”



She put her hands down to her side again and looked up at Tara.



“Goddess, I’m so stupid,” she said, with an exasperated shake of her head. “You left because of this, you left because of how much I abused magick. Yet, here I am using it all willy-nilly in front of you. Goddess, I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me!”



She looked around, disgusted at herself.



Tara leaned forward and placed her hand on the other woman’s cheek. Willow looked up at met Tara’s gaze in surprise. Tara held that gaze, seemingly searching for something within the green depths. After what seemed like an eternity to Willow, Tara smiled crookedly.



“Jessica was right.”



Willow scrunched her face up in confusion, “Huh?”



“We’re a Shakespearean tragedy,” Tara said laughingly.



Willow placed her own hand over the one on her cheek and smiled slightly. She was confused about what Tara meant, but couldn’t help but respond favorably to her tone. “I think maybe you’re going to have to elaborate a little.”



Tara smiled and raised her other hand to Willow’s cheek, effectively cupping her face. “We’re like one of those heroes that’s full of angst and regret and is running around yelling ‘Mea Culpa’ and beating his chest.”



Willow mock-frowned in indignation, “I do not beat my chest!” She trailed off suddenly and blushed, “Well, I mean except for that one time when Buffy and I were imitating the power-ballad divas and Buffy was all waving her hands like Mariah and I was pumping life back into my heart like Celine. But we were being silly and there might have been Margaritas involved and…Hey! That was supposed to be a secret.”



Tara couldn’t help but laugh, “I’ve missed your babble,” she said as she leaned in and gave Willow a quick peck on the lips. She stepped back and lowered her hands, but kept hold of Willow’s hand at her side. “But that’s not what I meant. I meant that we’re going around mentally flogging ourselves for the relationship failing when it really isn’t and either or thing.”



Willow looked at Tara and shook her head, “But baby, it was my fault. If I hadn’t been so stupid and controlling you would never have left.”



“And if I had been more supportive and brave I wouldn’t have thought that leaving was my only option,” Tara said, interrupting.



“No,” Willow said instantly, “You were right to leave. It was me I was being all domineering and ‘Grr’ with the magi-…”



“See what I mean,” Tara said softly. “We can go on like this for a while, beating ourselves up for the things that went wrong. But s-sweetie, if we do, we’ll just end up in the same place, lost and alone.”



She let go of Willow’s hand and went over to where a stack of wood boxes lay haphazardly against the wall. She moved one of the boxes down and sat on it. She leaned forward, her hands clasped together between her legs. She looked up at Willow. “I hated myself for a while,” she said.



Shocked, Willow walked quickly towards her and sat on her haunches by her side, “What? Baby why?”



“Because of this, because of what I did,” Tara said wearily.



Willow placed a hand on Tara’s knee, “What you did?”



“I left you,” Tara said plainly, as if that explained everything.



Willow still looked confused.



“Sweetie, how can you not hate me?” Tara continued, realizing as she said the words that her self-loathing had not, in fact been conquered. It was still there below the surface, waiting for the perfect moment to erupt. Looking up at Willow genuinely befuddled expression, she knew that the eruption would happen now.



“How c-can you sit there looking at me with confusion in your eyes when you know, you know what I did,” Tara said, genuinely astounded at the redhead’s lack of comprehension.



Willow nodded her head slowly, as if trying to prove an extremely complicated theory,

“You left, I get that, but…”



Tara stood up, her sudden moment making Willow have to quickly seek purchase before falling to the floor.



“Yes! I left. I quit. I gave up,” Tara began pacing, her moments and tone of voice becoming more agitated with each word.



“How c-can you look at me and not think I’m a coward?” she said, twirling around and stared at Willow, who slowly got to her feet. “How can you look at me at all?”



Comprehension dawned on Willow’s face, “You think you made the wrong choice by leaving.”



“Of course I did!” Tara said tersely, “All my life, I’ve been this great self-sacrificing lamb. I did it for my mom out of a sense of love, for my dad out of a sense of family, and for my brother out of a sense of human decency. I laid down my wishes for them. I put them aside. But for you, the woman I claimed to love…”



Willow looked up, shocked at Tara’s choice of words.



“…I did nothing."



"No, that's not true," Willow said softly.



Tara sighed, her hands falling limply to her sides. "Yes, it is."



"Tara, I am not going to stand here and let you.... what was it you said earlier? 'Mentally flog' yourself for doing the right thing."



"Willow..."



"Baby, don't you get it. You leaving was what caused me to stop. Did it hurt? Of course it did. It felt like someone was ripping out my insides."



Tara reached her hand out, "Will..."



"...but," Willow continued, "it was necessary. If you had been there, I don't think, no, I know I wouldn't have stopped. You were my safety net, and as long as you were there, everything was fine. With you gone, all that was left was the fall: a very hard, very painful fall. And, as clichéd as it sounds, the good thing about hitting rock bottom is that there is nowhere to go but up."



Willow reached out and tenderly stroked Tara's cheek. "It was an important lesson to learn, and I don't think it would have happened if you'd been there."



She grabbed a hold of Tara's hand and slowly lowered her down to the crate. She picked up the hem of her dress and knelt down before her.



"I've missed you every day since you've left. I'd wake up every morning and in that instant before I would open my eyes, I'd reach over and expect to find you there. When all my hand would touch was an empty bed and cold sheets...I cried."



She looked up and saw tears coming down Tara's face, she smiled ruefully, "Kind of like that." She reached over and wiped the tears with her thumb.



"Then I'd wipe the tears, get up and face the day,” she said, “ because maybe when I woke up the next day, I’d reach out and instead of finding nothing, I’d find you.”



She leaned forward and kissed Tara on the cheek, “you gave me hope.”



Tara wiped a stray tear from her check and stood up, pulling Willow with her. “Come on,” she said quietly.



“What? Where?”



“I think we’ve tempted fate enough tonight. This isn’t exactly the safest place to be.”



“Oh,” Willow blinked, looking around “you’re right.” She furrowed her brow and continued, “We still need to talk about the magick.”



Tara nodded, “We do.”



“Tara I would never do anything to hu-“



Tara put a finger up to Willow’s mouth, “Shh. We’ll go home. You’ll explain, and…” she smiled at Willow, “I think I’ll understand.”

Marilda
 


Re: Replies and Update

Postby Arwen276 » Sun Sep 12, 2004 5:51 pm





God this was beautiful!



Finally they 'talked' well, initiated negociations or something like that...



But after a long wait, It's a perfect gift for us.



I loved how Tara changed her mind, stopped and turned to face back the problem.

They both learned a lesson: Willow with Tara leaving, and Tara at that moment in the alley I think.



I particularly loved the ending sentence



Quote:
Tara put a finger up to Willow’s mouth, “Shh. We’ll go home. You’ll explain, and…” she smiled at Willow, “I think I’ll understand.”




That's just it, " I think I'll understand" , LESSON LEARNED, this short sentence gives the whole thing a sence of hope.

I'm jealous of how well you use words and actions, I could just picture Tara acting it. It's beautiful.



okay enough sap,



more soon okay?



~Arwen

Hear That Baby? You're My Always... Willow

Arwen276
 

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