Fic: Vignette Series

[jomarch]

I have been incredibly tied up with real life to read and feedback but I'm glad I made the time currently. I don't think I have laughed this much in the past five weeks so I really have to thank you. I am really looking forward to what you're going to come up with next!

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You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; It will not let you fall

And Death shall have no Dominion

[TrueXena]

Sass dear, I do believe you mind is going at a rather young age.

Quote:

---

**TX: That was a club, not a sex shop. Subtle difference. I've been to lots of clubs. Though, usually, I keep my shirt on.

---

Yes MM was a club, but didnt we try to go into some sort of STRIP club before that? And didnt they refuse us entrance because there was like only one guy with 30 women? And didnt we sorta stand around waiting for one particular member of our group to arrive so we could figure out where we were gonna go from there? And wasnt it cold as hell, so we found refuge in that there SEX shop next to the STRIP club that wouldnt let us in? hmmmm?? I could have remembered this all wrong, but I'm almost SURE you joined us in going in there to keep/get warm.

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Tara: "C-can you just be kissing me now?" - in 'Entropy'

Tara: "Its good to be a chicken casserole." -in 'Answering Darkness' By: Sassette

Tara: "Evil's....good." - in 'Seeing Red' (shooting script)

[Kailyn Of Povar]

Its good to be the guy :-p

[NewRuthRising]

Hmm... guy, girl,guy,girl.... no, sorry, I'd rather be one of the girls





ruth

One last call to answer, feeling full of despair.
Don't think I can get through it. Just one last prayer: Season seven.
Michelle Branch

[Sassette]

**Autumn: Oh, you and me both *G*



**bzengo: LOL *G* I'm pretty much avoiding hot sex in the Vignette Series ... at least, anything remotely graphic. Really, out of ... what? Twenty-something? There's only the one sex scene, and it really wasn't graphic at all. But your suggestion is duly noted, and I'll see what I can do with it.



**Puff: Oh, ouch. On many different levels *G*



**zero: LOL ... Jaysus ... you people are a crack-up.



**Jennpurr: Heh ... thank you - though right now I'm working on the next LD bit. I'm actually hoping to have that up today.



**MOUSE: HeeHee ... and that's the beauty of posting things on Pens. I love it *G*



**tiyodragon: Yes, exactly *G* And I'll get another vignette up as soon as I'm done with the next LD bit.



**NewRuthRising: Thank you - glad you liked it. Though, I claim no responsibility for the replies to vignettes or the subsequent laughter from reading them.



**jdcioffi: LOL ... why, thank you *G* I'll try to remember the disclaimers, but honestly? I'm a little forgetful when it comes to getting stuff done ... so we'll see if the warning shows up *G*



**Miss1234Kitty: Heh ... yes, the clerk knows them. I will not, however, be writing a about our Babes visiting Toyland. At least, umm ... not in this thread. I try to keep it PG-13 here, or sometimes R if I'm in a mood - but so far, it's just been that one time.



**jomarch: Awww, thank you jomarch. I'm really glad you liked them. Though, I'm not touching that 'tied up' comment with a ten foot pole. Nope, not me... too easy



**TX: Ahhh, TX ... I'm afraid that you're the one smoking the crack here. Yes, there was a strip club. Yes, they wouldn't let us in. Yes, there was a sex shop right next door. I, however, opted to stay outside in the frickin' freezing cold than to go into that store. As a matter of fact, I believe I was one of the later arrivals, and all y'all were in the store when I got there.



**Yuri and NewRuthRising: Heh ... I have to agree with Ruth on this one, Yuri. Sorry *G*



-Sass

[Bookcat]

I just read the last two vignette's and that cute lil' interlude thing in one go, as I've been away and am leaving again shortly. I've come to the conclusion that you, Sassette Dunno-your-real-name, are

God:

1. (n.) Someone who is the object of admiration:

• idol

• hero

• heroine

• star

• idealized person

• legendary person

• popular figure

• man of the hour

• woman of the hour

• public favorite

• guiding light



I'm pretty sure I get the arm, but does anyone wanna explain to my naive self _exactly_ the purpose of such a thing?

[Sassette]

**Bookcat: Heh ... I don't think anyone's ever actually called me God before. Huh. Interesting sensation *G* But thank you - and Hell No, I am NOT explaining the arm thing. Absolutely not.



BTW - does anyone have any idea what number I'm on?



-Sass

[tommo]

Is it 22? If it isn't, it darn well should be.



Write one for me, Sassette. Please? And perhaps I will do a dance, a little prance, and giggle girlishly.



Or you know...alternatively...um, not.

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It's dirty. It's all dirty. And all
over me. Dirty, dirty, bad. Bad!

[Sassette]

**tommo: Okay, 22 it is ... here you go. Nothin major, though - or, in fact, particularly amusing. Just ... kind of random.

Series: Vignettes
Number: 22
Title: Clueless
Author: Sassette
Summary: Willow and Tara discuss a clueless guy.
Feedback: Can be sent to pink_overalls@yahoo.com
Spoiler Warning: Set, ummm ... during some season. Doesn’t matter.
Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters. I do, however, love them, and as they reside in my heart, they belong to me. I'm not making any money off of them, though.
Rating: PG-13

Clueless
Part 22 of the Vignettes Series
by Sassette

“Wait, I don’t get it,” Willow said, a small frown crossing her face as she and Tara walked across the campus, their fingers intertwined.

“No, you see, the beans were IN the stocking – like, sewed in. As decoration,” Tara said, an earnest expression on her face.

“Why would you put beans in a stocking? Or would that be ON a stocking?” Willow finally asked after a long moment of contemplation, unable to arrive at anything resembling a sensible conclusion.

“That’s just it – I have no idea,” Tara said with a little shrug.

“Okay, this just gets weirder and weirder,” Willow said, her frown increasing. “Want me to go talk to him?”

“Willow, he’s like twenty feet tall. And it’s not like it’s hurting anything,” Tara said with a little shrug. “I’ve made it clear I’m not interested – he just … keeps giving me things.”

“Well, it sounds to me like he needs to know just how very taken you are,” Willow said, pouting. “I could set him straight.”

“Or maybe you could set him gay, then it wouldn’t be an issue,” Tara said with a sweet smile, her eyes dancing devilishly.

“Or maybe he could take his head out of his ass and notice that we’re always holding hands,” Willow grumbled, an unhappy expression on her face.

Tara squeezed Willow’s hand lightly, casting a wry look in her direction. “Are you okay, sweetie?” she asked.

“Yeah, fine,” Willow said, with a profound sigh that completely belied her words.

Tara stopped walking, tugging Willow to a halt and looking at her with a concerned expression on her face. “Look, I can talk to him again …” Tara offered. “I don’t … I don’t want this to bother you. He has a stupid little crush – it’s not a big deal.”

“It’s not …” Willow began, then stopped, her mind racing as she tried to sort out everything she was thinking and feeling about all of this. “I just … are you bothered by this? I mean – aren’t you? Really?” Willow asked.

“A little,” Tara admitted, a quiet sigh escaping. “I mean, it’s totally harmless, but I … I’m not used to the attention,” she said with a little shrug and a self-deprecating look.

“You get plenty of attention,” Willow said ruefully. “People are always looking. It’s just no one else has failed to notice that we’re joined at the hip and that you’re completely unavailable,” Willow said with a sour look.

“I know – but … do you think I should talk to him? What should I say?” Tara asked uncertainly, wondering if she was handling the situation all wrong.

“How about I talk to him?” Willow offered, hoping Tara would take her up on the offer. She wanted a chance to talk to this guy and to make everything perfectly clear to him, even if she had to explain everything monosyllabically and draw pictures.

“Baby,” Tara said, a knowing look on her face. “You’d probably try to scratch his eyes out if he didn’t get it right away, and he’s this huge football player kind of guy.”

“I could take Buffy with me …?” Willow offered, an innocent expression on her face.

“Oh, right,” Tara said, nodding. “I can just see Buffy explaining to me that she had gone to pat him on the shoulder and her hand slipped – that the black eye he showed up with tomorrow was completely an accident.”

“Buffy wouldn’t do that,” Willow said, shaking her head.

“Of course she would,” Tara said, an inelegant snort escaping.

“Do you really think of Buffy as that violent?” Willow asked incredulously. “Buffy would never hurt anyone!” she said defensively.

“Oh, I know that,” Tara said quickly, her eyes wide as she realized she hadn’t explained herself very well.

“And here you are saying that she’d go all ballistic and beat up some guy just because he was hitting on you? That’s really unfair, and it’s like … it’s like … it’s like saying that just because someone is an Olympic sharpshooter, they knock over 7-11’s for kicks, and that’s all judgy and wrong, and …” Willow continued, clearly upset.

“No, no,” Tara said, interrupting Willow and placing a silencing finger on her lips. “I just meant that you and Buffy are so close, she’d do anything for you,” Tara said with a helpless shrug, her expression conciliatory.

“So I’m like some kind of Mafia Don and Buffy’s my enforcer?” Willow squeaked.

“She’s your best friend, and no, you’re not a Mafia Don, but you two are always there for each other – and it’s nice, and if someone is upsetting you, and you genuinely wanted them beaten up, Buffy would be first in line to do the honors,” Tara defended herself.

“So I’m a bad person who wants people beaten up?” Willow asked.

“Of course not – and I didn’t say that. Stop it,” Tara said, laughing lightly. “Or I’ll introduce you to your insect reflection,” she went on, a self-mocking expression on her face.

“Oh, sweetie,” Willow said, her eyes sorrowful as she looked at Tara. “You were making a joke? I mean – of course you were making a joke,” Willow went on, laughing forcefully, earning a little smile from Tara. “And it was a very funny joke – all with the humorousness and the irony. Oh, yes … chock full of irony and … funny,” she finished lamely.

“Trying to make me feel better?” Tara asked.

“Is it working?” Willow asked uncertainly.

“A little,” Tara said with a slight half-smile.

“Anything else I can do, then?” Willow questioned, her tone light and teasing.

“I can maybe think of a few things,” Tara said.

“Do these things involve … parachutes?” Willow asked, stepping closer to Tara and placing her hands on her waist.

“Parachutes?” Tara asked, a confused expression on her face.

“Never mind,” Willow said, stepping closer still and kissing Tara sweetly. Tara sighed, her arms wrapping around Willow’s neck as she leaned into the kiss, their lips brushing together again and again, all thoughts of clueless guys, Buffy’s violent tendencies, and parachutes forgotten.

Across the quad, a large football player’s jaw dropped, then a sheepish look crossed his face as he tossed his latest unconventional gift into a nearby trash-can and trudged back to his dorm.

[WiccansIllusion]

Sass

aww..poor mr football player had a crush on Tara. Ain't that cut- oh wait, nope. No one else is allowed to crush on tara but willow. Either way, cute vignette hehe

Tara nodded in agreement "She has magic fingers." Then, as though the words had just echoed back to her and sounded not at all right, she perked up and glanced around at the others. "On the keyboard."

TheWisdom of War, Chris Golden

'My heart is cleverer then I and it knows what to do.'-MC Legends of the Kiss

[KathleenWolf]

poor football guy... trying so hard with the gifts and all...



laugh... very cute... love the worried head of willow jealousy



and I can just picture Willow behind a big desk in a suit and Buffy there with her five hundred dollar tie cracking her knucles while this poor guy begs for his life...



'so you come to me cause you have a crush on my Tara" ... he he he... sorry i'm tired and off to bed



bravo... kathleen

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."

To The Land of The RainbowWriters

[MadeinNZ]

Ah yes - the green eyed monster rares its ugly head. Of course, in Sunnydale this could be a real green eyed monster but I was meaning the other kind of green eyed monster. Anyway, lovely story.

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"When someone falls for Willow, they stay fallen" - Normal Again

[Sassette]

I posted this, what? Two minutes ago? Geeze ... you people are on top of things.



**W.I.: Heh ... darn tootin'. Nobody gets to crush on Tara but Willow, and nobody gets to crush on Willow but Tara. I hereby declare it a rule - break the rule, and Buffy will break your legs. Well, in that sort of "fictional character" sense. And thanks *G*



**KathleenWolf: Well, yeah, you feel sorry for the poor guy, but then you kind of think "Hey - get a clue" *shrug* Or maybe I'm mean. That's certainly a possibility. But - he has a clue now, and if it makes you feel better, he ends up dating a nice, pretty, straight anthropology student, they grow up, get married, have three kids, and live happily ever after. Heh ... and Willow and Buffy - the mob? That's a fun, if somewhat twisted, visual *G*



**MadeinNZ: Oooohhhh ... a real green-eyed monster. Interesting. And thanks *G*



-Sass

[tommo]

I just love it when Willow starts off digging and ends up in Australia. Heh. She's adorable when she tries to backtrack like that. I could just see Tara's face too. Excellent.



Now. About that fic I want writing...



Cheers, Sassette.

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It's dirty. It's all dirty. And all
over me. Dirty, dirty, bad. Bad!

[LeatherQueen]

This was great, Sass! And I can just imagine Tara's face when presented with some bizarre gift like the one mentioned. She'd have that cute "Um... thanks?" look with her forehead all scrunched up.



Lovely vignette, Sass!

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"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[BoredNow99]

Jealous Willow is just too cute for words.



All grumpy and pouty of lip. Bless her cotton socks.



Thanks Sass, loved this one

That's magic!...Paul "Wizbit" Daniels

[Jennpurr]

That was hillarious! The poor football guy. At least now he knows. Hee... and what a way to find out. Sorry, that was bad.



And you used the insect reflection line. Tara is soo cute.



Thanks Sass. I'm looking forward to #23.



Jen

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"Talented Tongued Tara." Willow snickered.-"Unexpected Consequences," by Lisa

[Puff]

Parachute? You'll have to explain that one some time Great new part Sass. Poor Tara getting noticed with odd little gifts and defensive Willow is

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You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Jennpurr]

OH... Puff, thanks for bringing that up. I forgot to ask. Could someone explain the parachute thing??? I didn't get it.



Jen

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"Talented Tongued Tara." Willow snickered.-"Unexpected Consequences," by Lisa

[areslei]

Well, he's certainly got a clue now. That was cute, sass. Hee hee...scoobies gone mafia. and kw...rotf! I can picture Will w/ the whole godfather voiceover...



parachute? ::gives confused look::

you two are the two who are the two...
Baby, I said it's all in our hands, got to learn to respect what we don't understand...'Fugitive' Indigo Girls

[SlayerTazz]

Sass - that was great!! I love how the green eyed monster makes it appearance. Oh and Willow as the Mafia Don and Buffy as the Enforcer - LMAO.



Tee hee - poor football player...NAH serves him right!!



I can't wait for the next update!! These are great! Thank you!

A dream is a wish the heart makes.

Willow: "You had two eggs, sunny-side-up. I remember because they were wiggling at me like little boobs."

Tara: "Sassy Eggs."

[Bookcat]

You are god, you know. Its a common practice around these parts to name important things like you, Patrick on Spongebob, Alyson Hannigan, Amber Benson, and chocolate ice cream god.

Anyway, that was really cute. I went "awww..." but that wasn't in the thesaurus. Then I realized that "awww" was an interjection, because of that schoolhouse rock song, so I'm putting interjection here. Also, the list has the word "ejaculation" and I'm very immature like that.



1. (n.) An abrupt remark or sudden cry:

• exclamation

• ejaculation

• interpolation

• outcry

• shout

• shriek

• yelp

• expletive

• yell

• vociferation

• outburst



BTW, I'm leaving for a good four weeks now, so sorry if I can't reply to any new ones till then.

[The Rose24]

Very cute.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.

Tara: Willow, I got so lost.
Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

Willow: Hi, um Tara. I was wondering maybe you want to go out some time for coffee? food? Kisses and gay love?

[VampNo12]

Very cute vignette Sassette! Poor, clueless football guy crushing on the "very taken" Tara. Not only is the guy clueless, he certainly has bizarre tastes for presents. I could so envision Tara's puzzled reaction with being presented with such a gift. Always love to see a jealous Willow, and it was great how Willow pointed out that people do take notice of Tara's beauty, but usually realizes "... that we're joined at the hip" (ie Tara is taken).



I cracked-up over the images of Willow as a "Mafia Don and Buffy as her enforcer". And I love how Willow mind works by going off in strange directions (ie her mention of "parachutes"). It seems Willow has the ability to make weird connections, but come out sounding cute. Lastly, the poor guy finally got the message, and he can now find someone who is available (and not Tara )! Can't wait for the next W&T moment!

[NewRuthRising]

Hee hee hee. Love this one. And the one before. And the interlude. Love Sass. Going away now





Ruth

Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty; it raises the dead! Americans! Aaah! - Giles, Dead Man's Party

[Miss1234Kitty]

Bad football player! And yes, Tara is completely right. Only Buffy would beat him up for Tara as well, cos she loves Tara too.



Loved it, Sass. And I read the comments on the Vignette Interlude and just had to go back and read it again.



For reference, of course.



Gem

Tara: There's just so much to work through... and can you just be kissing me now?

[Grimaldi]

cool update Willow as a Mafia Don and Buffy as her enforcer was too funny.

Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!

Cross my heart, smack me dead, stick a lobster on my head.

Watching TV shows doesn't create psychos...Canceling TV shows does

[Murasaki S]

Just read the last couple of vignettes and the interlude.



For some reason, it's always fun to see Willow getting large with the butch over Tara. Just the kind of fluff the doctor ordered.



I'm looking forward to catching up on this thread!





Thanks for sharing!

[xita]

Oh I totally feel for Willow, I have been there. And she's so cute when she's jealous. Thing is Tara is too nice. She's the kind of girl who would be more concerned about hurting this guy's feelings than being blunt and perhaps hurtful. Thank god they forgot about their little fight and decided to just kiss, cause the guy was around and go the point. Oh sigh, another little vignette in their lives... thanks sass!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Oooh Xita!" - Amber Benson

[tiredsoul]

LOL. Absolutely precious. You write these two so well.



I only wish that someone actually saw the football player's reaction. Maybe Buffy?



Love these little stories. Make my day each time.



Celia