Title: A Woman In Uniform - Chapter 23
Rating: PG
Disclaimers: Blah Blah Blah see previous installments
Notes: A full translation of Willow's letter from her Bubbeh appears at the end of the chapter...any mistakes in the Yiddish are purely mine
Chapter 23"Do you have the slightest idea what this is?" Tara scolded her lover's roommate.
"A hairball?"
"It's a talisman...an amulet...this could command some very powerful magics...show a little respect!"
"Oh a
magic hairball..." somehow she just couldn't stop herself, "Hey, is that anything like a Magic 8 Ball? Cuz I had one of those...it's always the same...
Oh Magic 8 Ball will I meet a tall handsome stranger? ASK AGAIN LATER...I'm tellin' you, those things suck."
Again she found herself fixed with the icy, deep blue stare.
"Eeeeeep," the blonde sunk back into the couch.
Buffy didn't know what it was about Tara that filled her with such an irresistible desire to tease. Perhaps it was the fact that she took all this magic mumbo jumbo so seriously, it might have been the endless parade of cheerfully tie-dyed clothing or just maybe it was the noises she heard coming from Willow's room late at night. Naaaaa there was no point in denying it, the truth was Buffy had a big ole girl crush and that was that. Still, years of fighting fires had taught her when to be aggressive and when to back off before the wind turned and you found yourself toaster caked.
"If we could just find out a little about the history of the thing," Tara sighed, "Time to hit the books."
"Not those smelly old things you keep under your bed," Willow moaned.
" Fraid so, darlin'...if there's even a chance that..."
Buffy interrupted once again, "Um...at the risk of being bitch-slapped by Tara...didn't the magic hairball come with a note?"
"Buffy!"
"What?!? What!?! I'm sorry, OK? Don't turn me into a gerbil!"
"No...that was actually very helpful...I'm amazed...thank you."
The petite blonde blushed and grinned like an idiot.
Tara picked up the letter and started to read, then caught herself and handed it to her lover, "She wrote it for you...I shouldn't..."
"That's OK, honey," the redhead gave her a quick peck, "I don't mind."
"No, baby...it's the right thing, plus...um...I don't read Yiddish?" she grinned.
Willow chuckled, shaking her head, "Bubbeh!" Always mixing Yiddish with her English.
Maideleh -
Nu, if you're reading this I am
farbay...gone...and I don't mean to Boca. My deepest
veln was to give this to you myself, but it was not to be and that is my
eyntsik fardross. If I had told you that your
Bubbeleh was a
machshaifeh you'd have thought I was spinning a
bubbeh maisse, you would never have believed that your
Elter Bubbeh and her
Mutti before her and all the women in our family as long as our story can be told, had been
machshaifehs you would have been sure your
alter Bubbeh was
meshugeh, eh my
goeneleh?
Nu, you
don't know everything.
Mesoyre dictates that if you had not come into your
makht while I could pass this
kishef to you, I should leave it with your best
chavver until,
vi ruftmen these days? Oh yes, until you got a clue. I realize that technically the Harris
boychick is your best friend, but he's such a
shmegege that I decided it would be safer with that
nishomeleh Summers girl. A
shayna maidel that one, for a
shiksa. I often wondered why you two never made a
por.Yes
mameleh, I knew and no, it didn't make me think any less of you. Your
groys fetter Itzahk was a
faygeleh and he was a
choshever mentsh if ever there was one.
Deigeh nisht, I could not have asked for a better
eynikl.
Oy, there I go getting all
shmaltzy, that won't do...
Ei, I wanted so much to teach you myself, but you were such a
vildeh chayah, always running around with that Harris
nudnik like you had
shpilkes or something. Still, since you are reading this you
dervisn zikh somehow.
Nu...what you hold in your hand is a
koyekhdik kishufim or so the
megile goes. Over the centuries a
kroyz from
yetvider froy of our line has been woven into it.
Machshaifehs all they were and many. For a while it was thought lost, during the pogroms, but it turned out that your
oysergeveynlekh elter bubbeh had hidden it in her
shaitel."Eeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"Buffy, it means wig," the readhead snapped, "Get your mind out of the gutter!"
"Sorry, shutting up now."
"Thanks."
I've heard it called the
Groys Shtrik and The Amulet of Ruth. Now your
ayngebildet Aunt Esther would have you believe it is from "the" Ruth, from The Torah, just because there has also been mention of a Naomi, but I can remember my
Bubbeh talking about her
Bubbeh Ruth and her
same gut chavver Naomi Schiflitt, which to me seems a more likely explanation. You know me, I don't like to
blozn fun zikh...but it's for you to decide what you believe.
Anyway, here is the
shpruk. I'm sure you'll be able to decipher it if you remember your Hebrew
and you'd better!"Doesn't look like any Hebrew I've ever seen...anyway..."
The legend passed along with the
kishef says that it works best when used by "a woman in love in conjunction with another woman who is beloved herself also" Not real big on the grammar back in the day, were they? Anyway, I guess none of the women in our generation have known real love, because we could never get it to work.
Feh, I could have sworn I loved your
tataleh, but I guess a hairball knows more about love than I do. Go figure.
But now it is your turn to add your
kroyz to the
haldzband and who knows, perhaps you will have some
glik a little.
Fun mayn moyl tsu J*****H's oyern. The
welt is more
geferlech than you could know,
maideleh.My only
veln for you, my
Willeleh is for you to find some
simcha. Get yourself a nice
maidel, a nice
froy and settle down, make a home, so you shouldn't live alone like a dog. The way I see it,
gelibte or
gelibter it's all the same.
Emes libshaft un freyd should only come to you. It wouldn't hurt you to find a nice
yidishke, that's all I'm saying. But even if you fall in love with a
shiksa, as long as she makes you happy, then to me she is
meshpokha. A
brocheh on you both.
Shah, mein kint, shah! Don't cry. You will always have me with you.
Bubbeh wouldn't go off and leave her
maideleh all alone, now would she? You just tell that
froy, whoever she may be (I still think you should take a shot at the
shayna blonde) if she doesn't make you happy, then
yetvider machshaifeh in
meshpokha will
tshepen und shmeis her sweet
tuchus until doomsday.
A leben ahf dir, my
Willeleh.Ich hob der lieb - Bubbeh
Silence hung over the room for a moment, punctured only Willow's sniffles and low sounds of comfort from Tara as she held her weeping lover. But then the moment came that Buffy could hold it in no longer.
"I don't care what your Bubbeh or the Magic Hairball say, Will...you are not my type!"
TBC (Bubbeh's letter translation to follow, after I put the wife to bed)
Hope you dug it - Sandi
