New Fic - Neverland

[BuffyFan4ever]

An update already!!?? I wouldn't have even realized it if I hadn't checked the update thread.

Poor Tara and poor Willow. There had better be a serious talk in the next update. Willow needs to get some confidence because Tara will try to take the easy way out by pretending it hadn't happened. And you better not end your update with them making up and kissing and having Buffy or Shelia walking in. OH NO!! Did I just give you an idea

Update soon.

[ssc1980]

I promise this feedback will have 95% less caps-lock. I've been thinking about the previous update over the past day or two, and I know I've said it before, but what I really appreciate is just how real these two characters feel. I especially related to the roof date, where both of them are realizing that the flirting and touching is beyond 'normal' friend behavior, but neither of them are doing anything to stop it. I went through some very similar experiences with my first girlfriend where we just sort of drawn together, engaging in some decidedly non-platonic behavior, but never really talking about what was happening even though we were both ostensibly straight. Of course, it ended up a disaster, but doesn't it always?

Anyway, I had logged on today to edit my previous feedback to tell you this, and lo and behold, another update! I appreciate you not leaving us hanging for months, but I have to say, this was a hard one to read. I can't really feel angry at Willow, because as you wrote, she's been hiding for so long, that it's become her default behavior. On the other hand, I felt so terrible for Tara, who risked everything, and as far as she can tell, was completely shot down.

If I didn't know this would eventually have a happy ending, I'd be really worried, but even so, you've left me feeling quite sad.

And who knew fanfic could do that?

Fantastic as always. Thank you for sharing.

[Mrs. Pineapple]

Huh, wow... I applaud you for the great update, because despite all the hurt in this chapter, that's what it was: a great update.

And you know why?

I thought that after what happened, I should be angry at Willow, but - as I thought - the flinch was just an automatic reaction, I could understand it. The question was how she would react to it. And that, to me, seemed a very good reaction:

But it was a mistake, and she could fix it.

It reminded me of another chapter where Willow went to Sunnydale to avoid Tara and Tara was hurt, and Willow thought "fix this". But back then, she couldn't. The fact that she wants to now, just shows how much she has grown throughout this story.

So then I thought I should be angry with Tara. Because despite the redhead's concious efforts to explain herself, to make things right, she's the one who's avoiding this time. But then again ot seemed so normal, so human in the light of everything that happened.

No-one is to blaim for anything here, and that's what made this, for me, a great update.

Secondly, wow: Willow has finally figured out Tara's feelings. I thought that when Willow'd come out to Tara, she would still be clueless as ever and incredibly surprised when Tara'd tell her she feels the same. But that, apparently, won't be the case. It makes the drama all the more real, and now I'm genuinely curious as to what will happen now... Willow's mom only arrives in the evening, right? It should give them some time to talk.

btw, kudos on the quick update. I secretly suspect that you find this extremely exciting as well , so you keep on writing... Good job!

[inspiron]

It seems this quick update happily surprised me along with everyone else. I came here to read responses to your last chapter (I love to read everyone’s opinions and points of view), and discovered with gleeful wonder that another chapter had been posted. Woo hoo!

Oh Willow! Your hand was on the doorknob – all you had to do was TURN IT. One simple flick of the wrist and the drama could all be over. But noooooo, instead you had to return to your room and stew over your actions. I was sorta hoping you’d grab your pillow and blanket and camp outside Tara’s door on the slim chance she’d wake up early and leave the house, instead of staying put in your own room. But…no matter how much I try, I just can’t be angry at you. You’ve finally come to the realization that Tara’s in love with you too and I dearly love that you’re so resolute about fixing this. Do it. Quickly. If only your “inability to stop sharing” would have kicked in!

My heart breaks for poor Tara. She’s so confused and at a loss for how to deal with the impending rejection. Please, please don’t let her get up early and do a runner…my poor heart couldn’t handle it.

Once again, another wonderfully emotional addition to the never ending saga that is Neverland.

[BeMyDeputy]

Okay, that’s it. Willow needs some backup, and I’m going in. (Man, Heather was really right when she said people would split on how they took Willow’s journey through this.)

I feel so, so bad for Willow. Yeah, she flinched. She didn’t mean to do it. She tries to explain. She tries to stop Tara. Multiple times. Then, when Tara goes and hides in her room, Willow practically begs her to talk. She says she’ll be in her room if Tara wants to talk.

What the hell, Tara? You tell the girl you can wait, you can be patient. You’ve beaten into her head you’ll never ever kiss a straight girl. THEN you lean in slowly to kiss her, and at the last second she flinches. Not at the first instant it’s clear you want to suck face, but at the last second. And then you RUN AWAY? What the fuck? How do you trust someone enough to kiss her but not enough to listen when she tries to explain, tries desperately to stop you from leaving?

Seriously, Tara, you know that Willow is terrified about seeing her mom and Buffy. You suspect she plans to come out to them. If this is true, isn’t it possible she’s afraid? That she’s been closeted for some period of time and that any step out, even into the fucking bliss that is Tara-kissage might be a tad bit intimidating? None of this runs through your head? Not before you kiss her, not when she flinches, and not when she tries desperately to stop you? How can you not bow to the way Willow says “Tara” when she’s desperate, and the “r” gets all raspy-like (e.g. “The Body,” “Tough Love”)? My name isn’t Tara and it gets me!

Has Willow been selfish? Sure. And totally very S4 Willow, so props to Heather. But isn’t it also selfish to try to kiss someone and then not respect her enough to let her get two words out? To run away without considering that maybe that’ll fucking scare the crap out of her? Sorry, Willow can’t magically figure out if you running away means you want to be stopped, or if you want to be left alone. If you want to be stopped, don’t fucking leave.

You’re all “ah, this is the worst thing that could happen.” And you know, you’re right. And it’s you’re fault. Because now, now you’re stuck in sobbing over what-ifs and probablys, rather than knowing. You could have just found out what the hell the flinch meant. Then, if tears were to be had, you could have them for a good reason. Now you both feel like shit. And yeah, it is your fault. Because you wouldn’t stop to talk.


And seriously, I don’t see Willow and her closet-edness as the hurricane of destruction Debra does, even if Heather does agree. Because you know what? Someone else being gay? Not that big of a deal. When it’s you, it’s the biggest deal in the world until you’re out. But someone else? Even your best friend? Sorry, not really a source of destruction. Now, okay, what happens with Tara may change what happens with the coming out, but since it’s unclear where that will end up, let’s just consider that coming out to Buffy is scheduled after coming out to Sheila. So, chances are good from what we know that things with Sheila are not going to be fun. Sheila isn’t going to disown Willow from the sound of things, and instead she will deploy the evil parental weapon of guilt (bonus damage for Jewish guilt). And even if Willow can stand up to her and tell her that she’s gay, that nothing can change that, and dammit if Sheila wants to know potential grandchildren, she better get used to the fucking idea, EVEN THEN, Willow’s going to be a little shell shocked from the experience. So when she goes to talk to Buffy, is she going to be a picture of mental health? No. I’m thinking her best friend of many years is going to be able to notice that she’s terrified. I mean, I think we need to give Buffy a little credit for being resilient. Is it going to sting that she hasn’t known? Yes. But she takes it pretty well in NMR, and I can’t imagine her really being terribly upset now.

“When did this happen?” “When your mom died and you were in legal fights with your dad. Somehow, it felt relatively unimportant.”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” “Because I wanted to tell you in person, and the only chance I’ve had is here in San Francisco. The whole time I’ve been here, you’ve been all ‘sweet, straight friend,’ which hasn’t made this easy.”
“But, you’re in love with Xander!” “Wait. What?”
“Why has Xander known the whole time?” “Well, because he was there when my mom devastated me. Honestly nothing personal.”

And if Willow hasn’t outed herself to Tara at this point, I’d think she’d be smart enough to ask Buffy, you know, not to do it for her. And really, she shouldn’t have to ask; Buffy has enough gay friends to be familiar with not-outing people etiquette. At least, I’d hope so, given she lives in SF.

Of course, there’s the alternative where she ends up making with the smoochies before she talks to Buffy, and she sends a text: “Hey Buffy, you need to know I’m gay. I’ve wanted to tell you in person, but I’m too afraid. I still love you in a totally platonic type way. Now I need to go fuck the brains out of my roommate.”


Ahem.
Anyway, mad, mad props Heather. You have me mad at characters and arguing about their future actions and reactions. Not because you’ve done a poor job, but because you’ve done such a damn fine job that the characters are believable and the world so rich. Thanks for posting in the update thread, or like others, I would have assumed there was more talk about the original flinch.

And yes, it was a very Charlie Brown flat on his back sort of ARGH! Man I love Peanuts.

Damn, I swear a lot more when I'm tired.

[TinyAnt]

I wasn't going to post anything, BUT then I ended up reading the reply above mine (BeMyDeputy's). I found it very fun to read (because when people get very intense during debates it's always fun) and I happened to agree on pretty much every point, so I thought I'd say "hear hear!" (both plot/Willow analysis and also that last paragraph!). See how you get to us? So if good dogs get cookies, what do good writers get?

[wimpy0729]

HALLELUJAH!! I AM HEALED!! Well, except for the extreeeme broken heart I have right now. Thanks so much for the quickness of the update. I was getting quite claustrophobic in my straightjacket. At least the flinch only caused a funny nervous breakdown.

OMG Heather, stop for a second and really think about the power of your amazing words. You have created such an emotional upheaval not just in the US but probably several other continents. That's truly an incredible accomplishment and you should be so proud of yourself. I don't think I've ever seen such a reaction to an update before.

So okay, I can totally respect the opinions of the people who are angry at either W or T for what has transpired, however, I am not in the angry camp. I am in the heartbroken camp for both girls. Willow's reaction was a simple reflex from all her years that she has been dealing with this huge thing she is going through. And Tara...poor, poor Tara. Her gut feeling that Willow wants her is right, but now she feels so humiliated because of that unfortunate reflex. I don't blame her at all for wanting to curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out. I do understand Willow wanting to do the coming out thing with her mom and Buffy first, cause she has had her mind set on this plan for so long, and that's just how she works. But I don't understand why she can't at least tell Tara something like, "I'm so sorry about the way I acted. I need to tell you something very important, but just let me talk to my mom and Buffy first, then I'll explain everything. Please, just give me a couple of days." However, if it was me, right now I'd be throwing that plan right out the window and go straight to Tara and tell her everything. I can just picture the anguish on her face, and I don't know how anyone wouldn't crumble.

I don't think there are words to appropriately describe the explosion of emotion you have created with these last two updates. Let me just say amazing...simply amazing.


Wimpy

[sabina]

Soo... here i am on a friday night replying for the second time to this update which i think is a testimony to how great this story is and how much it actually moves me

But i kind of read TinyAnt and BeMyDeputy replies and i had to reply back, lol, and backup Tara.

I know Willow is terrified of coming out, i get it, been there but i don't think that's enough to get her off the hook, she behaved like an asshole to Tara. And i don't even mean the flinch, that could be written off as an automatic defense mechanism, i mean by letting Tara go without explaining anything even after realizing that the blonde has strong feelings for her.
Come on! Tara just got rejected after taking, what for her, was a huge risk. That pretty much elicits feelings of acute shame in most of us that lead to fleeing the scene as if our heads were on fire. She couldn't stay and wait, she couldn't hear anything anymore, she just had to go and dig a hole where she could bury herself for the next century!

And Willow could have stopped her without giving herself away. She could have said 'something is happening but i need a little more time to work it out, please?' and Tara would have smiled and actually gone to sleep afterwards.

So i'm team Tara on this one, lol

Edited to add: i meant to say Willow behaved like an asshole and not that she was an asshole

[Naeryn]

All I can say is...

I think my heart is actually breaking for them. Like... physically.

[Grimm]

Gotta jump on the "team Tara" bandwagon...I'm not saying Willow is an asshole...But, She has clearly displayed ass hole-like tendencies. My heart and soul ache for Tara. She appears to be devastated and Willow could/should do more to console her since she is clearly aware, by her own admission, that Tara is "In love" with her!! ..... all this back and forth between your readers is a testament to your great writing.....

[DaddyCatALSO]

I don't think the word "fixed" can apply anymore. They can come back form this, but it's already been too long a time gone by to "fix" it in the way I use that word.. Willow's not great with accuate self-description so I acna't fault her for not having the "right" words to say, but a simple "I'm sorry" could've gone a long and helpful if somewhat ambiguous way to making this less hard for Tara.

I do agree Tara is makign soem msitakes but I can't fault her as much.

In other words, "Ouch, I like it."

[WillowRulez]

Spoiled? How, read down accidentally? (Very curious for some reason.)

Yup, exactly. I only checked the thread hoping for an update (without checking the update thread I mean) and so I scrolled up and down and someone had posted those lines as their reply :(
Grrr, Willow drives me crazy with her "plan". I was screaming at the screen (not literally) for her to say something, anything to Tara, beside her name
At least Tara is being smart about this and seems to consider the possibility that Willow is just not ready. The only good thing that comes from this is that Willow realized that Tara has feelings for her. Now she can go forward without that worry hanging over her. I just wish that Willow would be impulsive enough to run into Tara's room and just kiss her, no words needed
Can' wait (as usual) for more.Will Willow wake up in time to hear Tara leave her room? Why doesn't she just camp outside of Tara's door?! These two are sooo difficult...

[wayland]

Hi Heather,

This chapter has haunted me since I first read it.

It was the worst sight she had ever seen.

I love your use of plain, simple language. It creates such an emotional impact. Anything else here would just seem wrong.

Your explanation of Willow’s flinch made perfect sense. She was reluctant to move in with Tara because she wasn’t sure she could hide her feelings and was afraid of the consequences. Given what she knew, her solution was logical and most likely to avoid hurt. Of course, the consequences happened anyway and were different – and worse – than she’d feared.

Willow and Tara are alike in so many ways. Both have so much fear and insecurity. Not long ago Willow was berating herself for always running away from difficult situations. Now Tara has, literally, run. I think that’s why throughout Neverland my sympathy has always been evenly split between the two. Neither of them has ever intentionally behaved badly. Even apparently selfish actions were never done with any desire to hurt others.

I don’t blame Willow for not barging into Tara’s room. To us it’s the obvious best move, but having just hurt Tara so badly and feeling so guilty, Willow cannot bring herself to brashly ignore Tara’s clear wish – to be left alone. Forcing Tara to face her right now would seem to add insult to injury.

Willow is taking all the blame on herself, as is her nature, but the situation isn’t all her fault, far from it. Both women have made mistakes. Both have misrepresented themselves, to eachother and to their friends. And both have done so for the same reason – fear of rejection.

Now Willow blames herself for taking so long to realise Tara’s true feelings, yet for most of that time it was Tara herself who was determined that she never would.

I’m glad that Tara’s reversal all the way back to ‘Willow loves Xander’ didn’t last too long and that sense is starting to filter in. She already realises that she did panic and did overreact. Before the roof she was aware that Willow was under a huge strain and she had promised to be patient. Tara knows that she shares responsibility for what happened and that shutting Willow out wasn’t right and wasn’t fair, (it was just all too human). I hope, eventually, she can convince Willow of that because for me this was the saddest line of the chapter,

She'd never forgive herself for causing the pain she saw on Tara's face tonight.

Neither of them deserves to carry that much guilt.

Thank you for writing such a captivating story.

Clare

[Samcat]

Oh God. I had to read that several times to realize the disaster. That was heartbreaking (but beautifuly written as always). Now we have two lonely girls, each crying their eyes out in their own room. I feel truly sorry for both. Especially for Tara, considering she is blaming herself.
I don’t put all the blame on Will though.

I think it’s the drawback of Willow’s cleverness. She over-analyzes everything (and everyone), and she thinks that all can be planned.
Maybe she should listen her (truly generous)heart more than her (so bright) brain.

What should she do now? Maybe write a note, slide it Under Tara’s door, just to say she’s sorry and will explain everything later. But I guess it won’t be enough to ease Tara’s pain. And she should call Xander, tell him everything, but maybe she‘s too ashamed right now.

I can’t wait for more.

Anne

[smileintheether]

This update has officially brought me out of lurkdom... I have been following this fic for months, but never felt like I could adequately express how much it has meant to me until now. You have captured so completely and truthfully so much of my own experience; it's almost therapeutic to read your words and know that someone else gets exactly what it's like to fall in love with a straight (?) girl, convince yourself that the littlest things mean something and the big things mean nothing... and the way you have developed and nurtured Willow and Tara has made me love them even more. As others have written, it is an art to be able to evoke such emotion with your words, and I am so so SO glad that you've committed to finishing this fic. As to Willow and Tara's current situation, it is so deliciously frustrating!!! Ugh, and so true to life; I've been in both of their situations at one time or another, and it is just as awkward and exhilarating and heartwrenching as you've portrayed it. Bravo. It seems so close to working between the two of them, and even though your timeline so far in keeping them apart has made the story as good as it is, I have to add my voice to the crowd and beg you to pleeeeeeeease let them be together soon! It's a selfish request, because I know that your handling of the eventual getting-togetherness will be brilliant and make me smile a lot THANK YOU for sharing this with us, and eagerly awaiting the next update!!!!!

[Naeryn]

I just feel the need to point out, RE: all the people wanting Willow and Tara to 'kiss and make up' in an immediate sense, that Willow mentioned or thought in an earlier chapter - unfortunately, I cannot remember which - that she couldn't be with someone already when she came out. She didn't want her mother to turn accusatory, blaming the woman she was with for "turning" her. Given Sheila Rosenberg's personality, coupled with the way she is frequently used in fanfic, I'd say this is a quite legitimate fear. Perhaps she wouldn't say it outright, but the implication would very likely be there.

And that, I think, could be very, very difficult for Tara (not that this situation isn't, of course).

Now, neither of them handled themselves perfectly in this situation, but they did handle themselves very humanly. Anything else, I think, would have seemed contrived, or possibly just deeply inappropriate. Had Willow actually entered Tara's room, for example. Had I been Tara, and had she done that, I would have been pissed. My room is my sanctuary, and you do not enter it without permission. Once that door was closed, the onus was on Tara to respond, not Willow to force the issue. And who could blame Tara for not responding? Look at her experiences. Look at her character in S4. Look at her family, her bitch of an ex, her treatment of Morgan. Would you, given those circumstances, really not have retreated? If you were utterly convinced - even if just in the moment - that rejection was imminent and unavoidable, would you really want to wait around to have it confirmed? I wouldn't.

I think Willow has very good reasons for flinching, Tara has very good reasons for retreating, and Willow has very good reasons for sticking to her plan in spite of... hiccups. The question is, how will they sort it all out?

I've sort of had this scenario in my head, very nearly from the beginning, wherein things are intense and stressful and borderline traumatic, until Willow comes out to her mom and Buffy. Her mom reacts badly and leaves, and Buffy reacts well and sticks around. Willow explains to Tara, and it all makes sense. They each carry some hurt around that will take some time to work through, but they'll be fine. And together. And fine.

Thus follows the golden age of man... or something. But somehow, I doubt that things will be that simple...

[angieb86]

Jesus flippin' CHRIST!

I can't believe this...Willow, stop being a cooch! Open your mouth and SAY SOMETHING!!

I know a girl just like Willow. And she broke my heart much in the same way...only she was evil. She did it on purpose. And I hate that bitch.

So please make sure Willow fixes it...'cause I don't wanna hate her.

And my poor Tara. I teared up when I read that part...She puts herself out there and Willow fucks around and FLINCHES. ( What a cooch.)

PLEASE PLEASE make Willow fix this. And soon. Because I just might go into convulsions if Willow's mistake isn't resolved.

Can't wait for the next one!

Best,
Angela

[what_we_do_is_secret]

Oh. My. God.

I started reading this fic so many years ago and then just forgot about it after it not being updated until I forgot what it was about. Then the other day, there it was right at the top of the board and it was 93 pages long! So I started reading and realised I remebered the story, at least I remembered Tara being an artist and Morgan and Willow's torturous waiting to come out to her mum and Buffy before she could tell Tara how she felt and then I was just like, so overjoyed that there were 93 pages of this story. I have stayed up till 3.30am the last few nights (despite 8am wake ups the next day) and just finished after a four hour stint in front of my computer, my neck feels like shit.

AND STILL YOU TEASE!

Oh god, this is just so painful, like so amazing and your story is so great and I love them all but I don't know whether to laugh or cry! I can only beg for an update soon and salute your complete mastery of teasing (or flirting with) us with one of the best stories on the board.

Also, wasn't there some kind of gallery party on Friday night?!

As smileintheether says above, you have really hit home with Tara's feelings of unrequited love. I can't count the times I've felt the same, had this same ongoing battle with myself about whether I should let myself hope for something like my heart so desperately wants or whether I should listen to the harsh voice in my head that tells me to stop being so stupid and to stop hoping because the inevitable crushing disappointment will be more painful than you can imagine.

[morningstar]

Yay!!! I get a weekend break from the army and I find not one but two updates!!!!! It really really made my weekend awesome.

Fog facts were really cool and it was pretty funny that it rained really hard and then fogged up where I am currently living. My friends and I could hear the foxes ( um maybe jackals) really loudly. So it was really fun being able to say it's so loud cuz of the fog!!!

As for Willow... She knows that Tara loves her and she STILL waits for a bit longer instead of going to her immediately? Arg

On the other hand... That would have ended this amazing story and I definitely wouldn't want that.

Thanks for the updates and hopefully by the time I get Internet access again there will be another one

[dragonfly]

Hey there, so glad I stopped by today to find you updated, and oh my…very intense, sad, and heartbreaking, I feared something like this was coming, I was hoping they didn’t go to their rooms so upset. I can imagine they won’t get much sleep.

Willow’s reaction was natural, pissed me off but still understandable; she’s been hiding her feelings for so long, is so worried about her coming out, (who wouldn’t?), and is convinced that following her memorized steps would get her a better chance that having Tara trying to kiss her was too sudden, like it was the last she expected, even though she wanted it more than anything and very consciously has been encouraging it for a few days now, but still for her is unbelievable that her feelings are reciprocated.
As for Tara, what else could she have done? A tiny movement stopped her, rejection is the obvious, million things running through her mind and not one clear thought, but just getting away as quickly as possible.

Morning is going to be interesting, hopefully neither of them will run out before dawn, maybe some breakfast, good pancakes can get them to talk a bit. My suggestion for Will if I may, is to prepare a nice breakfast and bring it to Tara, knock on her door even if it’s past ten and there’s no sign of her, go to her, and well, now that she knows how Tara feels, finally realized Tara loves her back, she could tell her more, fix this misunderstanding and ask for a few more hours to be all out and able to give her all she deserves, but that would mean do the complete opposite of her plan and well I’m not sure Will would want to skip at least telling her mom before Tara.

Heather you’ve created such a wonderful world, each character is so real that at one point or another one can relate, understand what they’re going through, and at the end of course they’ll be together and recount all of this, every step in this journey of falling into each other’s arms.
I can’t wait for the next update, and hope they don’t spend much longer without speaking, next few hours will be very stressful, please update soon.

Thank you for writing this amazing story and yes, my boss's a gigantic pain in my rear, right now there's a lot of stress in my office, but I'm gratefull I have a job, soon I may get on a new project and then it'll be new headaches...

Love,
Clau

[JustSkipIt]

Thanks for updating so quickly. Now we can wallow in this misery with the girls until you post again.

My first thought while reading was that you were going to write an update in which all Willow said was "Tara". Nothing else. Would have been an interesting exercise but I like this better. At least she made an effort. I feel terribly sorry for Tara and a little sorry for Willow. You write the anguish very well but it's also pretty much what we all knew was coming. I 1/2 way expect Tara to now avoid Willow for a few days like be gone in the morning. Didn't she do that some time a few weeks ago? Like when she went out for beers with Morgan, she just didn't want to go home? Of course, now she needs to paint.

[histchic]

Yes, genius. (I'll get to the proof a little bit later.) And yes, this is one massive feedback. Neverland and Notepad in side-by-side panels=3 feedbacks for the space of, well, 3.

Tara as dazzle...you obscure tease

Where else is there to go in a sequel? The fact that there is life after your dreams come true and then you get new dreams. And, more or less, I just want to read more of your writing.

You're really right about the anachronisms...Neverland has been written over a time span that most other fics here are not. I believe this adds to its charm. Changing the anachronisms...I could go either way (as if it's my decision anyway ) There's something about going back to the beginning of Neverland and treasuring it as a snapshot in time.

In a lot of ways, Neverland reminds me of what BtVS was without the mystical element, and I mean that in the best way possible. Because when you get down to it, the Monster of the Week and the Big Bad of the season were merely incarnations of the emotional turmoil of the characters (namely Buffy's emotional turmoil, but it was her show). It has truly been a pleasure to watch this story and its characters grow and take shape, all the while advancing the plot.

Speaking of canon, I absolutely love the easter eggs of lines from canon in a fic. It makes me giggle, as if sharing a secret with the author. Especially the better woven it is into the fic--then I giggle at the double entendre of it. Well played on the Triangle quote, and the dolls' eye crystal.

We see Willow making decisions, albeit without really considering the cost. As someone else has said, this often gets her into trouble because it puts her at risk of violating her own standards, i.e. The Plan. But the biggest suprise is Tara altering her behavior to protect/isolate her relationship with Willow. Tara, who has for so long guarded her heart against any and all other suitors, and yet she lets Willow waltz all over it. As I mentioned in the last feedback, can Willow live up to Tara's pedastal? Quite frankly, no one can, not even Willow herself.

Before I go any further, I love both of these characters. I believe and trust that you are working the story out for the happy ending. It just troubles me for both of them that their only defense to laying down at each other's feet is to overthink everything. (Gripe ended) (feedback in light of part 59)

The date was wonderful and authentic...in fact so much so I found myself flinching away to afford Willow and Tara their privacy, as if I were seeing a moment only for them to share. This is a good thing, kudos to your writing ability! And the waitress, great red herring! And thanks so much for the convo about Giles...it really rounds out the impression that we are peering in to a conversation that would have occurred in real life.

And the double entendre of Tara's "I can be patient"...honestly, I probably read that with way more sexual tension than was intended. Truly, Willow and Tara's relationship here is more about friendship than sex, as the best ones are. Not saying sex isn't in there, but when it comes down to it, they are friends first.

And Tara clueing in to Willow's jealousy...that was one of those moments where I stopped reading and just soaked it in. And speaking of jealously...am I the only one still waiting for you get Tara to sic Anya on Xander based on that obscure hint way back at Anya's store? I love Anya's bluntness, it's such a great foil for Willow's literal overthinking.

Getting to Buffy...yknow...there's a lot more to her emotionally than we give her credit for. She and Willow would not have stayed friends if she were just the one-note airhead she could appear to be. And again, without the crutch of a secret mystical realm, here in Neverland Buffy and Willow's friendship really comes through (in all of its glory and heartache).

One of the hardest things to do is to defend a relationship before you even have one. I see Willow and Tara already closing in to protect/isolate before either of them have come out definitively on the subject. And I fear it getting a lot worse before it gets better. Even though Willow is sure what Sheila will say regarding Willow's part of the coming out...it really does add a new dimension to say, "Oh, and I'm kind of already dating/living with my soul mate."

Am I the only one who wants to see some sort of mockup of Tara's paintings? Or has such a thing been created and I missed it?

And the rooftop fog gazing was sweet vindication! But it also sped things up waay too fast. It's so ironic that both of them are saying with their mouths, "I can be patient, stick to the plan, wait it out," and yet they are doing the exact opposite! You don't snuggle on a rooftop alone with someone you're trying to be not sexual with!

Anyway...moving on...ending with Willow's flinch is a great example of your writing genius. It's brevity leaves us hanging, and is so characteristic (of Willow's behavior and your writing style). In the aftermath...the interesting thing is Willow's inner monologue keeps repeating "It's a mistake. Mistakes can be fixed." Great way to capture her panic. And really interesting to see closeted Willow. She never really was per se in canon...but you've written her into such a corner that closet behavior would make sense. That's really the genius of your writing. You can take us to an end result that anyone else on the board would have said, "No way!" and yet it's believable.

Just out of wild curiousity, what would Dream Tara say to Willow? Assuming Willow gets any sleep tonight?

Heather, you've teased and tortured us for so long...we will read through dang near anything to get through this story. You could turn Willow and Tara straight and still kittens would read (if only to get to the other side of the madness). And I do mean that as a compliment, that your style is so intriguing, we are hooked.

Whew, I think that's all the feedback I can muster. And to think, I came out of lurkdom hoping the story was finished! Double Charlie Brown ARGH!!

[sadie]

Just wanted to say I enjoy reading the feedback to this story as well! I like the different viewpoints to the events in the story, things I overlooked etc. (goes to show the depth of the story).

Also, there's bound to be someone who says exactly what I would like to but only 10x more eloquently, so there you go! (re: feedback above).

[jackie2007]

This story is killing me! I hope Willow is able to fix things with Tara.

[beautiful_love]

So I've been reading this literally since the day you started it and have never commented but I absolutely adore this fic. It is by far my favorite and you write them both so well. Yes, it's angsty but life is angsty and I just think it makes them all the more real. I was so excited to get on here and see such a quick update. I can't wait for more.

[ilove_julius]

Please I've been reading this story for so long and have remained silent, as a guest, But PLEASE just let them be together its been since 2004 please!!!!!!


p.s. i really do love the story <3

[_Zure_]

I've lurked around here for years without making an account. I had actually forgotten about the kitten board until my girlfriend linked me this fic, which she has been reading since the get-go.

I got caught up in a few days and you successfully have me hooked. This story is amazing, and I'm so glad you're going to finish it. Be proud, your story has caused me to come out from the lurky shadows and be the receiver of my first feedback You're truly an amazing author, and I cant wait to see what happens next~

[Naeryn]

I'm pretty sure I already gave feedback for this (awesome) chapter, but I just needed to say that I just noticed the thread title.

New fic? Really?

[love_2003]

You can't just leave it there. Willow needs to talk to Tara. I'm guessing though that Tara will try and avoid Willow and if the topic is brought up she will say it was no big deal. Grrrrrrr. Somebody needs to lock these two girls in a room together and throw away the key. Better yet; bring on another rain storm/power outage. Maybe then we will see some

[histchic]

listening to pandora and catching up on Neverland...wanted to point out a couple of things...if Neverland were ever turned into a movie..."Collide" by Howie Day would make a great trailer song. I know he's way mainstream or whatever, but it seems like a good fit.

Wouldn't that be cool if Neverland were a movie?

Neverland's soundtrack, movie trailer...Heather, you need to wrap this up before us kittens get too carried away (too late )

sadie Thank you so much! I was so worried that it was too long of a feedback.

Naeryn I have noticed that for a while and it always makes me giggle...yet another anachronism.

Welcome to all the lurkers!