Sorry, folks, for my long absence - and my lack of response to your wonderful comments. I have, however, read all of them, so thank you guys. I'll try to be better about that in the future. I had hoped to catch up on comments before writing anything, but I had a fairly crappy day (I'll spare you the smiley "interprative dance" depiction of what my life has been like for the last little while) and writing this made me feel a bit better.
Series: Vignettes
Number: 34
Title: Revelations
Author: Sassette
Feedback: Can be sent to
pink_overalls@yahoo.comSummary: Willow has a small revelation. Tiny, really. Not a big deal at all.
Spoiler Warning: Season 4.
Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters. I do, however, love them, and as they reside in my heart, they belong to me. I'm not making any money off of them, though.
Rating: PG-13
Revelations
Part 34 of the Vignettes Series
by Sassette
“It was scarring,” Willow said, a little frown crossing her face as she thought back. “I mean, it’s like, I figured it was all make-believe, until one day – bam!” Sighing, Willow took another sip of her mocha, then set it down, looking over at Tara who was looking back at her with a slightly bemused expression.
For some reason Willow couldn’t quite put her finger on, she hadn’t been interested in doing spells that day. Despite having had the meeting for magick set up with Tara a good week in advance, she couldn’t really muster any enthusiasm for it. Something had been niggling around in the back of her brain for awhile, chasing itself in circles so fast she couldn’t nail it down to examine whatever it was and really take a good look.
Tara, of course, had noticed her preoccupation right away, and had asked her if she wanted to reschedule, but Willow hadn’t found the thought of sitting by herself in the dorm she ostensibly shared with Buffy very appealing. In fact, she had definitely wanted to see Tara – had been looking forward to seeing her for days – but something was kind of … off, and so she had suggested mochas and chatting, and Tara had agreed, so there they were.
“W-well, umm … I don’t think I w-was quite as, umm … shocked w-when I, uhh … found out,” Tara said with a little shrug, her eyes darting around the Espresso Pump and her hands cupped around her coffee.
“But – but!” Willow said, looking at Tara with wide eyes. “It didn’t freak you out? I mean, I was totally freaked. Well, not >freaked< freaked, but freaked enough that every time I was out somewhere and I heard a rustling I kept expecting one to come flying at me out of nowhere.”
“Maybe, umm … y-you should, uhh … stop w-watching the, umm … Discovery Channel?” Tara suggested hesitantly, a slight smile crossing her face.
“And just where were you when I needed that piece of advice?” Willow asked, unable to help herself from returning Tara’s smile. It was strange, really – they hadn’t known each other all that long, but Willow found herself telling the stupidest stories just to get Tara to smile. Those smiles were so rare, and so nice, that Willow felt like someone had just handed her something precious every time she earned one. “Of course, I suppose I had to find out about the flying squirrels eventually.”
“Y-yes,” Tara said, her smile growing as she gave a little nod, trying to school her expression into seriousness. “Nobody’s life is, umm … complete w-without knowing about the, uhh … flying squirrels.”
“I mean, they’re cute and all,” Willow said, feeling the need to defend her position on the airborne rodents. “But – they’re squirrels! They’re supposed to run and horde nuts for the winter, not kamikaze jump out of trees with nothing but a few flaps of skin stopping them from big owies. Besides the creepy factor of wondering when they were going to fly out of a tree and, oh, I dunno – land on my >face< … I was just really disappointed that they didn’t, umm …” Willow said, then trailed off, wondering if she should share this part. Sure, Tara smiles were nice and all, but this was beyond embarrassing.
“W-what?” Tara prodded, looking at Willow with twinkling eyes.
“It’s silly,” Willow demurred, waving a hand in dismissal.
“And, umm … fear of, uhh … flying squirrels isn’t, um … silly?” Tara teased gently.
Willow smiled and laughed, her face reddening a little. “Okay, yeah, it’s a little silly,” she admitted, fidgeting in her seat. “But really? I was kind of disappointed that there were flying squirrels and they didn’t, y’know, have little hats and goggles like Rocky.”
“H-hey, W-willow,” Tara said, laughing lightly. “W-watch me, uh… pull a rabbit outa my, um … h-hat.”
“Again? That trick never works,” Willow said, shifting in her seat slightly. “Okay … three mochas down – need a break,” she said, standing up. “Be right back.”
“Okay,” Tara said with a nod, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
Still smiling, Willow followed the call of her bladder, heading straight for the bathroom.
Two girls she recognized vaguely from the campus were there, obviously standing in line, and Willow sighed, fidgeting slightly where she stood. She >really< had to go.
Which was her own darn fault, really – if she had just stood up and gone, she’d be done, and not standing there worrying about whether or not she was actually going to make it into one of the stalls without a repeat of the third day of kindergarten.
But she had been having so much fun, talking with Tara. Well, she did more talking than Tara did, but there was just something about her new friend that let her talk all she wanted without feeling self-conscious. And when Tara did speak up, it was always something funny or insightful, and Willow found herself hanging on every word, wanting to know which it would be.
There was just something so very … different about being with Tara that made Willow want to linger over each encounter – because it was so very comfortable, and to give her time to analyze exactly why it was different, and just what was so good about that.
It had been easy to chalk it up to the magick at first – the idea that she was just excited to have met another witch. And not just any witch, but a hereditary witch who had been trained since she was very small in things that Willow herself was just beginning to understand.
But Willow was no dummy, and the first time they had talked about something other than magick – it had been the cheesy quizzes in Cosmo, she recalled with a smile – she had realized that the >feeling< of being with Tara had little to do with magick, and more to do with Tara herself.
Willow broke out of her musings at the sound of a flush, waiting as patiently as she could for her turn.
Exiting the stall, she noted absently that the restroom was now empty, and moved to wash her hands, looking into the mirror and giving herself an appraising look. She wasn’t really >bad< looking – she wasn’t Buffy or anything, but she certainly wasn’t an ogre. And she certainly wasn’t Tara, with her big blue eyes and shy good-looks.
No, she was just Willow, with a few too many freckles, and goofy red hair that had been the bane of her existence for as long as she could remember.
With a sigh, she grabbed a paper towel and dried off her hands, looking back into the mirror, then stopping cold, looking at herself as if she had never seen that face before.
She blinked.
She blinked again.
“I am >so< gay,” she blurted out, staring at her reflection with a slightly shocked expression.
Things clicked into place – things she hadn’t really taken conscious note of that had remained in her subconscious, tucked away like the final pieces of a puzzle, waiting until the rest of it had been put into place before making their dramatic entrance and completing a picture that looked absolutely nothing like what was on the box.
But it was right, somehow, that picture – it didn’t matter that it didn’t look like what was on the box, or that it didn’t look like the pictures on the puzzles that all the other people put together. It was >her< picture – her puzzle. And they were her pieces that slid perfectly into place, their long wait over.
The strange feelings and niggling nebulous thoughts coalesced, and Willow could finally put her finger on >exactly< why being around Tara was so very different – was so very wonderful.
Blinking again, she laughed at herself, then froze.
Tara.
Tara was out there in the Espresso Pump right now waiting for her to get back.
Tara, who she had a Big Gay Crush on, >out there< and she was >waiting< - which meant she would be there when Willow walked out of the bathroom.
She looked around with wide eyes, trying not to hyperventilate as she wrung her hands together and took in her surroundings. Wondering briefly if she could be happy making a home there in the bathroom of the Espresso Pump, she studied the walls with a critical eye. There was water, and toilets, and she could probably get people to bring her mochas.
But all in all, it probably wasn’t the most sanitary idea in the world, and so she gave it up, instead turning her thoughts and attention to the little window high up the wall on the opposite side of the bathroom.
Would she fit?
It would be close, but she thought she could probably make it. Of course, she didn’t really have anything to stand on, and had no idea exactly how she could get up there.
Maybe Tara could give her a boost?
Then again – that sort of defeated the whole purpose of sneaking out the bathroom window while Tara was waiting out in the coffee shop.
Panic tried to take over, but Willow shook it off with a few deep breaths, shaking her head vigorously. After a few more breaths, she spun quickly to the mirror and looked herself in the eye, her resolve face making an appearance.
“I have faced vampires and demons and ghosts – and, and … I lived through demon ascensions and, umm … an apocalypse or two – and high school! I lived through high school on the Hellmouth! I will not – will >not< - back down from a cute blonde with an adorable smile and a laugh that makes me happy I have ears so that I can hear it,” she said sternly, shaking her finger at her reflection for good measure.
After her little pep talk, she took a step back, and tried a smile, noting that her cheeks were flushed and hoping against hope that Tara wouldn’t notice.
With another deep breath, she stepped out into the room and made her way back to the table, feeling very conspicuously gay when just the sight of Tara sitting there with her head down and her hands in her lap made her grin like an idiot.
“Hey,” she said, sitting down and mentally kicking herself. She just realized that she was ragingly homosexual and very attracted to Tara and ‘hey’ was the best she could come up with? Maybe she should have rehearsed something to say instead of giving herself the little pep talk.
Her heart clenched in her chest then started beating double-time, a sick feeling like she had a test and hadn’t studied washing over her. What was she supposed to say? Or do? How should she act around Tara now that she was a big lesbo?
And did Tara notice? Did she see that Willow was different now?
“H-hey,” Tara said, a slight smile crossing her face and reaching up into her eyes. “I w-was, umm … about to, uhh … send in a search party?” she said weakly, her gaze drifting away from Willow’s face and down to the table.
“Oh, well, y’know …” Willow said, her mind casting about frantically for something to say – some excuse as to why she had spent so long in the bathroom. “A line, and all that – and, and – who designed those little paper seat-cover things? Because once that middle bit hits the water, the weight just drags the whole thing in, and then you have to get another one, only you try to be more careful this time, but still – paper, absorbent. And water? That just loves paper, so the middle bit falls in again, and then the whole thing falls in again, and then all of a sudden you want to look around for the candid camera, because there’s just no way this whole thing can’t be some kind of sick joke, because those darn covers won’t stay where they’re supposed to stay, and you’ve really >really< gotta’ go.”
“Oh, y-yeah,” Tara said with a little laugh and a shrug. “I, umm … I h-hate those things.”
“Clearly their poor design is a purposeful and diabolical evil plot by the manufacturers to make businesses buy more of them than they should really need, because a bunch get wasted, thereby making them more money and allowing them to finance super-secret illegal experiments,” Willow said with a decisive nod.
“Right,” Tara said, a slow smile quirking the corners of her mouth. “Umm, experiments that, uhh … w-would make the wh-hole country, umm … stand up and, umm band together to put a, uhh … a stop to it.”
“Exactly,” Willow said, smiling broadly, falling silent as a sudden feeling of joy rushed through her. This was Tara – she didn’t have to act differently at all.
Edited by: Sassette at: 3/18/03 8:12:09 pm
by Scout » Sun Feb 02, 2003 7:05 pm 
That was so funny. And you havta love flying squirrels even if they look nothing like Rocky. There were so many things that made me all giggly. Vignettes are awesome! Go Sass.
Ok, so I said I was a geek.
great line! the flying squirrels...HEH LOL 
at: 4/24/03 12:03:48 am
. That was really touching, and left me with a warm fuzzy feeling - thanks. 
I know that song for some reason...I can't figure out why. 
As always Sass, your vignettes are rare gems. Nobody does it better.