Fan-letter about Tara's death on Lesbianation

[wiltar]

If this isn't the right place to post this little piece I found on Lesbianation, feel free to remove this mods

(www.lesbianation.com/arti...4&id=10740 )

Lesbian Media Blender
07.16.02

By Tammy Fo

FROM THE BUFFY MAIL BAG
Member hilary clay writes in:

It has become clear to me that there is something of a misunderstanding as to why there is such anger and sadness over the death of Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yes, Tara was treated as a character, not a lesbian. No, I do not think Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy are homophobic or were trying to send a homophobic message. Why, then, am I so completely disappointed in this storyline? In an attempt to convey this without the emotion, I am going to try to relive the timeline of Willow and Tara with nothing but facts and quotes.

Tara is introduced into the Buffyverse in December of 1999, in the episode "Hush." Her romance with Willow is subtle, and is not directly acknowledged until nearly six months later in "New Moon Rising." At this time, there are no lasting same-sex relationships on network television that involved major characters. The closest example might be the occasional "Friends" characters on NBC, Carol and Susan.

On February 21, 2000 Doug Petrie talks about the future of Willow and Tara with Sci-Fi Universe. "Willow and Tara are going to have a good, happy, satisfying relationship. That's something that we're more acutely aware of and we definitely don't want to touch on 'being a lesbian is bad.' We've all seen shows where if you have any kind of gay tendencies, you must be killed or made to suffer for no other reason other than you're gay. We're hyper aware of that, so we're more predisposed to have things work out for Willow and Tara. In fact, if Tara were a guy, I would predict a near 100 per cent chance of a breakup for Willow. The fact that Tara is not a guy may make things work out better, because we can avoid what we feel is this old clich."

The relationship between Willow and Tara continues and continues to spark controversy. The network and producers receive hate letters as well as testimonials from gay teens stating how important the show was to them. May 24, 2000, Joss Whedon states on the Bronze Beta that "...one post from a gay or questioning teen saying the show helped them is worth six hundred hate letters...Here's the word: Tara's not gonna disappear. She's part of the show, part of Willow's life."

Over a year after the introduction, Willow and Tara are still the only lasting same sex relationship on network TV. Websites appear across the net devoted to the relationship, thousands of people talk about how Willow and Tara changed their lives, gay and straight alike. On February 27, 2001, "The Body" airs with Willow and Tara's passionate first on-screen kiss. Reportedly, the WB fights hard to keep it out, and Joss Whedon is rumored to threaten to leave if the kiss was cut.

In May of 2001, Joss Whedon tells Entertainment Weekly "I have no plans to send Tara anywhere. Amber (Benson) and Alyson (Hannigan) have such great chemistry; they're so great together, and they're very romantic together. We have terrible, terrible things to do to them because they're on my show, so needless to say, horrible things will happen--but as a couple, I think they work really well. As for Amber, even if she weren't going out with Willow, I think she's become a big part of the heart of the show."

As the couple approaches its two year anniversary during Buffy the Vampire Slayer's sixth season, Willow and Tara are still the only lasting same sex relationship found on the network. Organizations such as Concerned Women for America warn parents against allowing their children to watch the show. NBC's ER features a budding relationship and a passionate kiss between Dr. Kerry Weaver and Sandy the firefighter, but their relationship receives less than thirty total minutes of airtime.

Rumors begin to surface across the net that Tara is going to be killed before the end of the season. Multiple writers from the show state that Tara was not leaving the show.

During this season, Willow and Tara are broken up for much of the season until Entropy, where their second passionate on-screen kiss in two and a half years is featured. On May 7, 2002, the next episode Seeing Red breaks new ground by showing Willow and Tara lounging in bed together. Within three minutes of getting up and dressed, Tara is shot through the heart. Willow embraces black magic. Villains depicts the fall of Willow as she tortures and murders Tara's killer and threatens her friends. By the end of the season, Willow is talked down from destroying the world and falls sobbing into the arms of her friend.

In response to upset fans during an online interview in May at Succubus Club, writer Steve DeKnight jokes about lying to fans, accuses "the lesbians" of causing technical problems during the interview, and makes sarcastic remarks about Joss Whedon killing Tara out of religious motivation. At the Bronze Beta after the finale aired, Joss Whedon responds to the outrage with "The gay thing is so passe. We're over that."

At the end of Willow and Tara, there are no homosexual couples receiving significant airtime on network television.

Relationships on Buffy the Vampire Slayer have never gone smoothly. They do not end well. People have died on the show before. Out of the relationships involving major cast members, Angel, Cordelia, Oz, Riley, Anya, and Spike are all alive. Buffy, Giles, Xander, and Dawn have never been evil.

The fact is I was lead to believe that a lesbian relationship in the media could work out for once. The fact is that people involved in the show acknowledged the cliche and said it would be avoided years before it played out. The fact is that I was lead to believe Willow and Tara's was a safe relationship to invest it when it wasn't.

The fact is that Willow and Tara are the only couple even trying to portray a healthy and loving relationship between two people of the same sex. The fact is that you can't claim equal treatment when you are talking about the only example of its kind. Anything that happenes to Willow and Tara is necessarily excluded from equal treatment because they are the only lesbian couple of its kind on television. When you wipe them out, you wipe them all out. The fact is that the only equal treatment that Willow and Tara received was equal treatment with all of the other lesbians in Hollywood. Dead. Evil.


Patricia

[tkheaven]

*tk stands and applauses...*sniff*sniff*

[supermus]

"The gay thing is so passe. We're over that". Out of context much? The full quote was "The gay thing is so passe. We're over that. But seriously, that's just the way Clem [i:85c2b93b2e] acts[/i:85c2b93b2e]."

[jdcioffi]

I don't think I have read a better, more well thought out, letter [b:35ab906b8a] EVER[/b:35ab906b8a]. It's amazing to me how, when you add it all up from beginning to end, you still come up with the same old clich.

While I see the writer's motive for what has happened, I still think it was an unsatisfying end to the only lesbian relationship in the media.

Thank you for sharing this letter with us ... shows that we're not alone in our thinking (even if some of us can't so elequently communicate it).

JD

[helpful information perha]

has someone sent the link to slayage.com?

[Arafel the Witch]

Interesting letter. My only quibble is with this statement:

<Buffy, Giles, Xander, and Dawn have never been evil.>

That's just plain wrong. Admittedly, Giles evil deeds were never shown directly, but they are acknowledged as part of his history in two or three episodes, especially the ones with Ethan. Xander has gone over the edge several times with deadly consequences, including S2 in "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered" and in S6 with "OMWF". And Buffy was pretty nasty in S2 in "When She Was Bad", plus in S3, first when she was corrupted by Faith and ended up almost arrested for theft, and then near the end of the season when she was going to kill Faith by feeding him to Angel.

Other than that, good article and excellent use of the writers' quotes to show how they misled people.

[tommo]

Clever, the way that the writer kept on going back to what the ME writers had said and then corroborated that with the show itself.

[kukalaka]

Great letter. Nothing to add.

Arafel: I haven't yet seen most of the episodes you mention, but this:
[quote:a812b0ebd6][b:a812b0ebd6][i:a812b0ebd6]Quote:[/i:a812b0ebd6][/b:a812b0ebd6]

---

Well, I didn't know what was gonna happen! I just thought there were gonna be dances and songs. (to Anya) I just wanted to make sure we'd... we'd work out. (nervous smile) Get a happy ending.
(Xander in OMWF)

---

[/quote:a812b0ebd6]
is just stupid not evil. I don't think you can compare that to what Willow did at the end of the season.

[Ben Varkentine]

I wouldn't have described the kiss in "The Body" as passionate, as that seems to have a sexual connotation and the kiss in that ep was more one of comfort. And in the "who's not been evil" stakes, lets not forget Xander-the-Hyenea.

Otherwise, a good summary of the case.

[PandoraSpocks]

That is a wonderful letter, it covers everything that needed to be said, I hope it gets well circulated, everyone needs to read this one

[WebWarlock]

Could someone email this link to Slayage?

I sent one a couple days ago, when it first went up, but nothing.

This is too good not get some good advertising.

Warlock

[ninjitsugrrl]

What a wonderful letter!

[helpful information perha]

sends a version of this to the advocate in response to whedon and marti's latest spin there

[hilarita]

as i read that again...i will send that to the advocate.

thanks for all your kind words people.

[The Next Tara Maclay]

Great Letter.

[Willowsmirk]

That was a very well thought out and well written letter.

I'm not trying to give Joss Whedon and Marti Noxon and the rest of ME the benefit of the doubt - goodness knows they certainly don't deserve it. But although they did have a preconceived notion of where the story line was going to go as reports come out - I would like to think that when Joss planned out the whole storyline of Willow and Tara he didn't I think really understand the depths and the people it would reach and how it would affect them.

Dare I say that by far the Willow and Tara relationship really and clearly had the most effect on so many people, outside the show. (Though I'm sure some Buffy and Angel fans would argue that their relationship really has had the most impact on the show, but I disagree). What I think Joss and the rest of ME didn't realize was that the far reaching consequences of the death of Tara would have on so many fans of the show. (Both gay and straight). I mean yes, they knew exactly what they were doing, they don't get off scot-free at all. But I don't remember so much outcry from so many people before ever on the show. And it is getting to them. Really. I mean The Advocate's recent little interview kind of proves it.

The storyline of Willow and Tara became so much more, not just because they were lesbians and all, but because it was real. The love between them was as passionate as Buffy and Angel's were. However, as with every relationship on the show, it is always doomed from the start. There's no way happiness ever can continue in Sunnydale, much as we all wished and hoped that Willow and Tara would. It upsets me that I can't even look forward to seeing at least one happy relationship on that show anymore, because honestly, my own relationship fell apart like on the show. "Things fall apart, they fall apart so hard."

Truer words were never spoken by Amber Benson.

My point is (and I do have one) is that obviously while the writers of the show knew what was going on, you never can really know the impact of everything while you are necessarily writing it. You can only put the product out there and see what people think of your art. This doesn't excuse the carelessness of the season finale and how the whole thing went down, but I think honestly a lot of lessons have been learned by them.

At least I hope so. Hey, I'm trying to be stiff upper lippey here, but I guess it's not working.

What is it they said on The Crow, "Can't rain all the time." I have to believe still that while the death of Tara was terrible, in death maybe some light came of it.

[SJ]

Great letter!

[the vamp nurd]

what is Joss on?
The gay thing pass?
But he said he got upset about talking about Tara's death.
Any way, off to the pens. At least I can be happy. I'm bored of hearing about Tara's death. No harm meant in the barb, I want W/T to be happy. That means the pens for me so be it.
bye bye. That is my two pence and I'm sticking it in here.
The vamp nurd.

[Ben Varkentine]

"I want W/T to be happy. That means the pens for me so be it."

Didn't you read Joss's interview? Willow isn't going to go back to...oh, *pens*. Never mind.

[Wtasg5]

Okay, I don't post a lot on these boards and when I do it's like guerilla warfare tactics. I've posted how I'm a gay teenager and the Willow/Tara relationship was my only model of a functional lesbian couple on television. Then I go into my light was a big ol' train analogies, and well frankly, it's not pretty. I post and then run away shamefully never reading the replies because all of the three times I've posted I reread them and repeatedly slap myself in the head afterwards saying 'You're not supposed to tell people you're a lesbian dumb ass!' That out of the way, I just want to do the unthinkable and defend Joss and ME for a second.

Now don't get me wrong, when I first heard Joss was killing my inspirational Tara I cried, I mourned, but most of all I wanted to kick Joss in the shins, and I don't mean one of those little girly kicks. I mean the kind of kick where your playing defense on the soccer team and the one kid whose not wearing shin-guards is trying to get passed you with the ball, so you kick him so hard in the shins that he falls to the floor crying and eventually passes out from pain. Yeah, that's how bad I wanted to kick Mr. Whedon in the shins. But then I read a whole mess of letters and posts by people that wanted to kick him just as badly, and I was like, wow, that guy's legs are going to be broke for a long time.

It's really not their fault. It's Joss's job to pull heart strings. He may have pulled a little hard this time considering our hearts were on the floor after the news, but that's what he does, he writes drama, and drama he caused. ME had to back him up cause Joss is the reason ME has the show so don't go pointing your foot in their direction either. We all felt the hate, anger, horrible depression that made us gain ten pounds in two days from all the comfort food we consumed, but it's one of those (oh god here comes that damn line) "Don't hate the player, hate the game" type of deals. It's not the Buffy staff, its TV in general. If there wasn't all the killing off/turning evil of gay characters going on before this, maybe Joss wouldn't have felt so obligated follow suit.

... But then again, maybe he needs to be kicked. Oh well, I'll just sit here and wait patiently for the new season so I can see some all new Willow/Tara love. Wait... I can't do that cause they killed Tara! I'll also say that agree with this letter and would defend it with a fire poker in one hand and a spiked club in the other. And also that reply WILLOWSMIRK posted made some choice points, unlike my post which has none.

[AutumnT]

[quote:d0b9bd021c][b:d0b9bd021c][i:d0b9bd021c]Quote:[/i:d0b9bd021c][/b:d0b9bd021c]

---

It's really not their fault.

---

[/quote:d0b9bd021c]
Yes, it is. They lied. They built false hope. They did not need to. It is entirely their fault. It's not just about the story. It's about the lies.

[Kalita]

Agreed - it is entirely their fault. They planned this storyline in advance, and lied about it to the fans that would be affected most; they mocked and belittled our concerns afterward; they have yet to show me that they are fully cognizant of our concerns, and they have yet to apologize for the pain they've caused.

Damn straight, it's their fault.

[xita]

It's about the fostering of a fragile community, the false feeling of safety the carefully cultivated in us, the lies, the appreciation of the positive social consequences which were done under false pretenses. They lied to get us to trust, something some of certainly don't. Maybe it's age, maybe it's never having trusted in all my 30 years and finally doing so, this betrayal is bigger. They purposely fooled me and the gay community and continue to be 2 faced liars

[Willowsmirk]

Unfortunately we all fell for it, wanting and wishing that perhaps Joss was above the fray. Sadly it turns out not to be true.

The thing is I can't be mad at Joss or ME. I think there's plenty of that going around. I can't be angry for the storyline that he developed with Amber and Alyson over the past few seasons. I tried to be angry at the whole situation and how it ended so terribly and I just can't do it.

I as a lesbian am for all more positive gay tv characters and for awhile there Willow and Tara embodied that. But the way things were going in Season 6, with Willow going all addicty and such, things just got so ugly.

Joss said after Season 6 that he felt Willow earned the finale with Xander. I'm not quoting exactly but he felt that their characters had developed to a place where they deserved that last scene with each other.

My question is then, are we now going to go way backwards? Joss says the next season is about going back to the beginning. Obviously no spoilage from me here, but how can this possibly help Willow's character any more, by taking away the one person whom she loved and connected with on all levels and gave her quite a bit of strength?

I do not understand that. But ME said the season was about "growing up" - but I thought that the Scoobies had done enough of that fighting Glory in Season 5. I mean you don't get much more growing up I think then taking on a god-like creature and seeing your best friend and lover snatched from you like toys or something.

I'm not angry at Joss. He's producing a television show. He's responsible for his actions. I in fact see now why he did what he did - because on the WB he couldn't get away with half of the things he wanted to. Makes me think if they had stayed on the WB if Joss would've still gone ahead with his plans or if he would've had to revise his script. Yeah I know he told Amber he was going to kill off Tara, but maybe he would've written a better way to do it.

We'll never know. But as much as it sucked that Tara was killed off the way she did, I'm just going to keep on watching because maybe, just maybe this next season will explain in his own way why he did it.

[The Destroyer]

C'mon Willowsmirk, we already know - he did it cos we 'need' it. Right.
I actually think that Joss meant that the two actors - AH and NB- deserved to be the focus of the last episode, rather than the characters themselves. (too bad he couldnt manage that for Amber)
I wont go into the rest because I dont think this is the appropriate forum to discuss Willow and Xander's character development. What I will say is that there was something rotten in the state of Sunnydale last year.

[Warduke]

We already know why Joss did it, because he wanted to have DMW, because he thought it was so cool...please

[Willowsmirk]

I'm disappointed more in the fact that Joss said that giving you what you need not what you want quote he did. Cause how does he really know what each viewer needs? I mean that's a really blanket statement. That pissed me off more than anything he wrote because it says to me he basically is ignoring the viewers of the show. Many people actually NEEDED the relationship!

[The Destroyer]

I think the audience undoubtedly needed the relationship. We can tell from this board they didnt. Which it was why it was such a ridiculous statement.