Fic: Road to Nowhere

[tommo]

Although xita, I'm not sure Tara will be too happy about that. Plus, her dreams and memories are kind of worrying. Damn, love the angst. But it's not good for the sleepin'

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"Tara had never felt as good about herself in her life. Willow gave her that gift. And another gift. Tara couldn't quite bring herself to call it love. Not yet. But there was time." ~ Unseen: The Burning

[Rane]

hey you! this is great.

only thingy is that Tara was really mindwarped for about 36 hours. The last three eps took place in the same 24 hour period. i'm very sure about this. she was in the hospital overnight and then the next day was the rest of the eps, upto dawn the next morning.

someone please correct me if i'm wrong cause i need this info for a fic.

[Ed Wood]

Yes Rane, that's VERY interesting and I don't seem to remmember it was discussed before. I think you're right about the theory. Thank you.

[Dr.G]

CaptMurdock, this is truly wonderful. I love the way you have portrayed W/T so very accurately. Please hurry up with the continuation.

Rane, I think it was more than 36 hours.

One overnight stay in the hospital.

The next day they fled and ended up at the gasstation. They were there till nightfall at least. It was night when Glory took Dawn and Buffy went catatonic on them.

After this I am not sure, but I think it was more than one day before the last stand-off so to speak. I mean Willow had to bring back Buffy, they went back to Sunnydale, they prepared for the battle etc.

Anyway, at the very least Tara was brainsucked for at least 3 nights, maybe 4.

[xita]

I am going to go with 2 nights and 3 days. And of course Willow says this during the gift:

WILLOW: Well ... I, I ... do sort of have this one idea. But, last few days, I've mostly been looking into ways to help Tara. I-I know that shouldn't be my priority....

So, one night hospital, one night after spiral, it is night fall. One day planning, evening same day : attack on glory.

[Dr.G]

The attack on Glory was at night, at the end of that night, because the sun is rising when Buffy jumps. But I am nitpicking here. I will just have to watch the eps again to be sure. *sigh*

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Amber Benson has really nice hair and I want her shampoo.

[Rane]

OT- when i checked it out it went as such: night at hospital... then glory attacks the next day (morning, when willow takes tara to the dorm), leave, attack by knights, while at the gas station night falls and glory takes dawn. buffy goes catatonic but it's not for more than a few hours at the most i believe. a couple of hours at the shoppe, then they are at the construction site before dawn. that's honestly less than a day and a half to me since tara's been brought back to the dorm. could be wrong though...

and yes willow says that, xita linda, but it could have felt like days to her (it would have to me). i honestly believe it was two nights Tara was like that, one night with the scoobs. Dr. G, whatcha get?

edited after reading Dr. G's response: if you count the day tara was mindwarped and the day they were fleeing i'd say days too (i'm refering to the line willow spoke because it is two days). but i still think the mindwarp was one full day and a half with some spare change. just me personally. it's all good. but if anyone finds any concrete evidence to either statement please email me! thanks!

[This message has been edited by Rane (edited July 09, 2001).]

[Dr.G]

Honestly, I think that would have been too much to have happen in one night Rane, and Willow does say days, I think she is right.

[CaptMurdock]

OK already! I will go back and change it to "horrible NIGHT" singular.

Boy, you use a little dramatic license around here and get the troll hammer...

Really, I do appreciate the feedback. I will post the next installment when I figure out what the hell I'm doing...

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"Who am I? I am Commander Susan Ivanova. Daughter of Andre and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the iron boot that is going to kick your sorry asses all the way back to Earth. I am the last living thing you are ever going to see. God sent me." -- Babylon 5, "Between the Darkness and the Light."

[Sneaky Kitty]

Yeah it had to be atleast 3 days.

it was daytime when Tara got brainsucked
she had to spend the night at the hospital
the next day they fled
Dawn was stolen at night.
Willow got into buffys catatonic brain at night
Glory says something about how they couldnt do the thing until nightfall ot something

i dont know, atleeast 2 days. ugh. llol but then everyone else said that to

oh well just continue the story soon please its great!

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"And we could make kitty go bonkers with catnip and stuff?" -Will BTVS
- To be great is to be misunderstood - Emerson

[xita]

Yes please more story

[Rane]

capt... the discussion we're having really has nothing to do with your fic. you can certainly write whatever you wish, and you're doing a great job. i'm sorry if it was misconstrued as a dis on your dramatic liscence. i did not mean to imply that. it's just a good thing to know the timeline. again, sorry about that.

[CaptMurdock]

Disclaimers, Summary, Ratings, Spoilers, Feedback: You've seen this stuff already. Second verse, same as the first.
Notes: I truly do not know if Apple Computer has tours of their grounds, nor do I know if they have little suggestion cards to fill out. I'm exercising creative license here, dammit! Otherwise, enjoy.

Road to Nowhere
Part 4

"You want some whipped cream to go with those waffles, miss?" the brunette waitress at the Brookdale Lodge coffee shop asked. She became rather mystified when the petite redhead and the curvy blonde looked at one another in silence, then burst into giggles. The waitress was vacillating between confusion and annoyance when Red, in a sweet-as-pie voice, said no, thank you. Bemused, she went back through the virtually empty coffee shop back to the kitchen. If those two cuties aren't doing each other, I'm a Chinese jet pilot.

Tara was still laughing when the waitress disappeared. "You are so the bad influence on me, Willow!" She scooped up another forkful of her veggie omelet and shoveled it in.

Auburn eyebrows arched like a St. Louis monument as Willow looked up from doing major surgery on the enormous waffle on her plate. "Me? You started it."

Tara hadn't quite finished her mouthful of eggs. "Drue. I dind 'ear you gomplain doo lou'ly." A couple of final chews and she swallowed. "Of course, it was hard to tell if you were complaining – you were just b-being loud." She chuckled again as she reached for her wheat toast.

"And here I thought you liked applause," Willow said before popping syrup-and-strawberry-preserve-laden waffle in her mouth. "Mmmmm-mmm. Man, this is good. I woke up starving." Both girls had forgone their usual light breakfasts in favor of the large selection that the coffee shop had on the menu. Besides her omelet and toast, Tara had a short stack of hotcakes, now mostly gone. Willow had managed to down a nicely-done slab of ham in addition to her waffle. Coffee and orange juice were also in evidence.

"Among other things," Tara said with a twinkle in her eye, remembering the morning "session" in addition to the lovemaking of the previous night. "I don't know, sweetie. With all this fresh air fueling us, at the rate we're going, we're not gonna live long enough to get back to Sunnydale."

Willow didn't quite choke, but she did start enough to cough. Covering her mouth to keep from spraying Tara with half-chewed waffle, she managed to keep from having the Heimlich Maneuver done on herself.

"You okay, honey?" Tara was concerned, but also slightly suspicious, for reasons that she could not quite identify. It was one of those below-the-surface vibes that she had learned to trust over the years, especially after she had moved to college and found out that it was "University On The Hellmouth."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just, just thought that was funny. See, this is me, tee-hee-hee, here we are in the forest primeval, shagging like bunnies!" Knock off the stupid babbling, Rosenberg, this is your girlfriend who can spot you trying to hide a fib a mile away! Cover, cover! "You got anyplace special you want to see today?"

Tara shrugged. "Just the Winchester House. But that can wait. I know you're dying to see Apple Computer."

That earned Tara a cheeky grin from Willow. "Yay! Maybe if I'm lucky, Steve Jobs'll be there, and I'll get to talk to him, let him know that I think his new interface has a few problems, but I've worked them out, see, and – and your eyes are glazing over."

Tara shook her head. "It's all fascinating, darling. But we better get going; it's almost noon."

Willow was astonished. "We slept in that late?"

"It wasn't just the sleep, remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

Tara scooped up the last of her omelet, then stopped before she ate it. "Oh, I called Xander while you where in the bathroom."

"Oh?" Willow asked. Gee, why not a octave higher, Rosenberg, there are a few windows in here that didn't shatter from the sound of your voice! "What'd he have to say?"

"Actually, he s-said something kinda weird," Tara said, a puzzled expression on her face.

Willow schooled herself to remain nonchalant. What could Xander say – or know, for that matter? "Uh-huh?"

"He said that if we happened to be passing back through Oxnard, and just happened to stop into a place called the Skin Flute," a little uncertainty crept into Tara's voice at that part, "to say hi to a guy named Raul. Do you know what he's talking about?"

Willow chuckled, partly out of relief. "Well, it has to do with something Buffy told me when we were dormmates, something Xander told her when he came back from his road trip. Better hold onto your hat there, missy."

******

After paying the breakfast bill and driving for about an hour in the Marquis, Willow and Tara came to 1 Infinite Loop in Cupertino, California – the home of Apple Computer, Inc.

Needless to say, Willow was in awe. To see her stare at the beige buildings, one would think that she was gazing at the Emerald City in the Land of Oz (no pun intended). "It's, it's fantastic. This is, like, Camelot!"

Tara could not resist an opening line like that. "It's only a model," she replied in a squeaky English voice.

"Shhh!" replied Willow, also in character. She smiled and beckoned to her girlfriend. "Come, let's all go to Camelot!" They marched together in step, singing "We're knights of the Round Table…" in search of the public relations office where they could arrange a tour. "Y'know who we show screen that movie for? Anya!"

Tara considered that suggestion. "Monty Python and the Holy Grail? I dunno. She'll probably go through the entire movie pointing out, um, inaccuracies in the clothes and the food, or tell us that King Arthur was actually some slob of a guy with terminal acne on his face." Her expression twisted as she remembered Tim the Enchanter's warning about the "foul beast" guarding the cave. "Oh, Willow, that-that's terrible!"

Willow giggled. "I know!"

"She'll have nightmares for weeks about the killer rabbit! Xander will kill you!"

Willow doubled over in laughter. It took her a second to get the breath to say, "It'd be so worth it!" She adopted Tim the Enchanter's Scottish accent. "If ya do doubt yar courage, come nah farther, for Death awaits ye, with great, nasty pointy teeth!"

Tara shook her head. "I don't understand why you h-hate her so much."

Willow stopped laughing a second after she heard that. "I-I don't hate Anya." Tara raised an eyebrow at that, her patented tell-me-another-one expression. "Really. Okay, so she's not one of my favorite people in the whole universe, but, hey, considering she was a vengeance demon called forth by my worst enemy in high school who tried to wish all of us into a parallel universe where Buffy never came to Sunnydale and Xander and I got turned into vampires, can you say eww, I knew you could, and then later, she tried to use me to get me to get her powers back, and she managed to get my evil skanky ga— ah, sadistic vampire self into this dimension, and was ready to help Evil Dead Me into recreating Vampire World, okay, then she did give us some info on the demon that the Mayor was turning into, of course she then wanted to get out of town before the Ascension, and only came back after it was all over because she wanted to sleep with Xander, considering all that, I think I treat her all right."

Tara smiled. "Great soliloquy, honey. I think the oxygen-rich atmosphere is affecting you in other ways." She looked down at her toes. "I think – Anya and I are kinda like, um, the Scooby Wives Club. We've sort of bonded that way. I think Riley would have been the t-treasurer, or sergeant-at-arms, but he left."

"Tara," Willow sighed. "How many times have I told you? You're part –"

"—Part of the team, I know, you've told me," Tara finished. "I suppose I am, but Anya and I got brought into this not because of who we are, but who we're dating. Y'know, Oz felt the same way."

Willow blinked. "How would you know that?"

"I talked to him. At the wake." Tara reached out and touched Willow's shoulder. "It's okay. He said he didn't feel like an outsider. I don't either." Willow nodded. Tara saw that her girlfriend's enthusiasm for the tour had gone. "C'mon, you gotta show these guys what they're doing wrong."

*********

After the tour, and after Willow filled out about twenty suggestion cards ("What?!? They shouldn't've gotten rid of CyberDog!"), Tara had decided that it was a little late in the day to head over to the Winchester House. After a brief discussion, they drove back to Santa Cruz. They found the Santa Cruz boardwalk, with the pier jutting out almost a mile into the ocean, shopped in a dozen little stores for souvenirs to bring back for everybody, and ate dinner in a seafood restaurant that had apparently been a family concern for most of a century.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Willow asked. "I don't want you to get sick…"

"I'm allergic to shrimp, baby, not fish," Tara replied, browsing through the menu. "And I haven't had salmon steak in years."

"That sounds of the Yum."

After dinner, they walked to the end of the pier to watch the sun set. With so few tourists in the town, they had the whole area to themselves, and so treated themselves with a few unselfconscious public smooches. Arms around each other, they settled against the railing, looking out to the sea while the breeze blew their hair around until Tara's dark blonde tresses mixed with Willow's auburn hair.

"You know what I want to see sometime this week?" Willow piped up. "U.C. Santa Cruz!"

Tara frowned. "Do-don't we have something like that at home? Y'know, lots of buildings, grassy fields, library, chemistry labs, dorms and lots of teachers?"

Willow nodded. "Hopefully without the secret government demon-containment facility and the occasional roving vampire. I'm just interested in, y'know, how the other half lives, see what kinda courses they have, or don't have, and then I can laugh the Laugh of I Mock Your Inferior School. Of course, they might even have some courses that U.C. Sunnydale doesn't have, but, hey, let's take that chance."

Tara shrugged. "Well, it might be interesting and fun. I'm sure it will be, if I'm with you."

Willow reached up to brush some hair out of Tara's eyes. "Hey, I gotta tell you something. I love you."

Tara smiled and gazed at her. "I love you, too."

Willow jumped in quick after that. "I know. I'm trying to say…I've been doing a lot of thinking since you…uh, had your problem…"

"What Glory did." Tara's reply was very flat, in contrast to the depth of the pain that Willow knew she still felt.

"Yeah. I mean, I came so close to losing you. There were so many times when you'd…like, be almost normal, you'd be Tara, my Tara, and then…" Willow paused to swallow back a sob. "It was so frustrating, but I knew, if I was patient, if I took care of you, even if took the rest of my life, you'd come back for good."

"Baby, I am back. I am here," Tara replied. "What are you trying to say?"

"From now on, it's you and me. Whatever we do, wherever we are, we're together. Okay?"

"Oh yes." Tara kissed Willow, then took a half-step back. "Willow…are-are you p-proposing to me?"

Willow couldn't keep a short bark of laughter from escaping her mouth, even as she had to blink back tears. "Ah, ah, no, not as such, no. But, y'know, maybe someday in the future, probably after college, we could conceivably stand up, in front of all our friends, in a rather broadminded little synagogue or chapel…wait a second, I'm seeing Sad Face; why am I seeing Sad Face?"

Tara looked down before answering. "B-because someday you might…want ch-children. I can't give you that, Willow. When we had that fight, you did touch on the f-fact that I'm…afraid that someday you might children. You might need a man. I can't be one."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Then we can adopt, or use artificial insemination, or genetic engineering, or win one on a game show." Tara chuckled. "We'll work it out. Together. We can give the kid one of those shirts that say 'My Mommies Love Me.'" The two of them laughed this time. "This is all in the future, y'know, when we've got warp drive, replicators, we're living in a condo on Mars, right next to a big canal with hoverboats…"

"Sounds great," Tara said. She looked out over the ocean where the last light of the setting sun was dying out. "We should get back to the Lodge."

Willow frowned and took a quick look around the general area. "You thinkin' vampire activity?"

"Well, I'm thinking of some k-kinda activity. But it won't get started till we get back to our room." Tara had her lopsided grin, which combined with her rather bold pass made Willow giggle.

"Hmmph. And you were something about me being affected by the fresh, foresty air. You are getting to be such the tart."

******

Some hours later, Tara lay in bed while Willow was taking a shower. She had asked Tara if she wanted to keep her company. "No, thanks, sweetie, I'm really beat." Willow had smiled, said something about a beating a record, and went to the bathroom in search of soap and shampoo.

Tara drifted in the nether state between wakefulness and sleep, her breathing slow and steady, the warmth of the sheets and blankets on her skin keeping off the chill…

Tara opened her eyes. It did seem a little cold in the room. Not see-your-own-breath cold, mind you, but a little cold considering the amount of activity that that had taken place within the last few hours, and that none of the windows were open and it was summer.

The lights were off, so Tara could only make out the general shape of the room, which incidentally was much bigger than the usual sort of oversized closet that passed for a hotel room these days. Their luggage, including Willow's laptop case, was on the far side of the room, wreathed in shadows. There was faint light escaping from the closed bathroom door, where the sounds of Willowshower could be heard.

Again the feeling of a presence seized Tara, stronger than in the lobby the previous day. Tara tried to peer through the gloom but could see nothing, or rather no one. Just then, she heard a sound over by their luggage, the sound of something shifting on the low dresser.

A burglar? Tara was frightened, not merely for herself but for Willow, who being in the shower was vulnerable to a predator. Tara mentally readied herself to hurl a defensive spell at any intruder who might be in the room. Okay, now I need to see what I'm up against. If I skooch over to turn on the lamp, he might hear me. I need the element of surprise here. A moment's concentration was all it took to make the lamp switch itself on to reveal…

…no one in the room except Tara herself.

Frowning, she started to get out of bed to go check out the other side of the room. She stopped herself when she remembered she was naked. Ordinarily that wouldn't bother her (and with Willow it could lead to a very interesting time) but she felt more selfconscious than usual. Her extra-large Babylon 5 nightshirt was laying on the bedspread; she grabbed it and pulled it on.

A quick examination showed nothing missing or largely out of place. Willow's laptop carrier, however, seemed to teeter on the edge of the dresser, so she set it back so that it would not fall to the carpet. As Tara did this, her fingers brushed a small sheaf of papers that were partially hanging out of one of the zippered pockets. She frowned as she tried to remember if they were showing before or not. It seemed unlikely that a burglar (if there had been one) would be interested in Willow's web pages.

Her curiosity momentarily got the better of her as she hauled out the papers, telling herself that it was so she could straighten them out, and was only glancing at them to keep them organized. However, her organization became less efficient as she saw that some of the papers were college transcripts.

Some of the papers were her college transcripts.

All at once it hit her. Willow. Getting away for "a week." Wanting to see U.C. Santa Cruz. How "comfortable" Tara felt here. Being together "just you and me."

Tara sat down, not sure whether it was the hot blood in her face or the cold nausea in her stomach that made her feel worse.

Willow emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, wearing her robe and toweling her hair off. "Oh!" she said, surprised. "I thought you'd be zonked out by now. Why didn’t you come in?" No answer, combined with Tara staring off into space, made Willow worried. "Tara, is something wrong?"

Tara tossed the transcripts and the transfer application web pages onto the table. "Y-you wanna tell me a s-story about this?" she asked, finally locking eyes with Willow, who for the first time in a year and a half did not regard it as a pleasant experience.

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"Who am I? I am Commander Susan Ivanova. Daughter of Andre and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the iron boot that is going to kick your sorry asses all the way back to Earth. I am the last living thing you are ever going to see. God sent me." -- Babylon 5, "Between the Darkness and the Light."

[Dr.G]

This is truly a great story. I love it.

Thank you. It has it all: romance, humour, fear, love and angst. I hope we will get to read the next part *soon*. (Not so subtle a hint that.)

[This message has been edited by Dr.G (edited July 12, 2001).]

[mollyig]

Great stuff.

Looking forward to finding out more about the ghostly chill thingie, and if Tara will forgive Willow for keeping stuff from her!

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"The hardest to learn is the least complicated" - Emily Saliers (Indigo Girls)

[Rane]

i love this! i cannot wait til tara tells willow what she's figured out. i wonder how willow will get around it. great story!

[Ed Wood]

OMG this is absolutely FANTASTIC!!!!!

One of the BEST FICS EVER!!!!!!!!

OSCAR worthy writting, romantic, sweet, sexy, cool, sad, what can I say? This is as GOOD AS IT GETS when it comes to W/T!!! Captain Murdock, you ASOLUTELY ROCK!!!!

WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!! THIS should be THE next Willow/Tara story arc on the SHOW!!!!!!

AGAIN, THANK YOU!!!!! YOU made my DAY!!!!!!!!

PLEASE, GET ME MORE OF THIS DRUG!!!! DON'T SLEEP, WRITE!!!!! (j/k, get youself a nice 48 hours nap, YOU DESERVE IT!!!!)

[Warduke]

Great fic, like Garfield said, it has it all

Can't wait for the next part.

[Halcyon]

Great fic...that ghosty chill? why'd it want Tara to find out about Willow's plans?

please post more soon..

[tommo]

What I really liked about this is the way you write them together, in such a natural manner. I know that xita and I have both expressed a wish to see Willow and Tara doing stuff together, walking, visiting places...all the kinds of normal things a couple do; the type of stuff that we don't get to see on the show because of time etc. And you've given us that; some really perfect scenes of how they talk to one another and just be with one another. It's so lovely.

I'm also impressed at the way you weave the storyline in with this interraction. Just enough to keep us all waiting breathlessly for the next part.

I don't want to believe that Willow is doing this out of nefarious motives, but it's hard not to disapprove. And that last line of Tara's, wow, adding in the stutter there was just so perfect. It worked so well. I could hear the tone of her voice and practically see the expression on her face.

Excellent. I am thoroughly enjoying this. Yep, loving it.

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"Tara had never felt as good about herself in her life. Willow gave her that gift. And another gift. Tara couldn't quite bring herself to call it love. Not yet. But there was time." ~ Unseen: The Burning

[Sneaky Kitty]

wowsa, again this is great. please continue ASAP!!!!!!! Withdrawl is kickin in!

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"And we could make kitty go bonkers with catnip and stuff?" -Will BTVS
- To be great is to be misunderstood - Emerson

[legend]

Withdrawl HAS set in!!

[fell]

I'm totally loving this. “Scooby Wives Club,” hee! You slay me. Great writing.

As a former denizen of the earthly paradise that is Santa Cruz, this is a real sensurround experience. Subterranean homesick blues again too, baby. Wah.

This belongs in the kitten book, methinks.

[AngelusUK]

I am really enjoying this story, fantastic.

Please hurry up with the next chapter.

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Amber Fan
Willow "Thats fine I don't need to be snuggled"
Tara "Vixen"

[WiggleStick]

This is a fantastic story! I can't wait for more.

[CaptMurdock]

Road to Nowhere
Part 5

Willow stood there in shock, her damp hair doing nothing to dispell the chill that was sweeping through her. She had hoped that another day or two would have passed before she broached the subject with Tara, but the papers on the little table and the ice-blue eyes boring in her pretty much kiboshed any delays.

"Um, where did you get those?" Willow asked, stalling for time. Where was her celebrated glibness now? This was no time to have Oz-like brevity in her speech.

Tara, regardless of her obvious anger, almost looked amused at that question. "Ah, are you going to tr-try to tell me that you don't know about these?"

Make no mistake, Take-Charge Tara was open for business.

"This isn't the way I planned this," Willow began lamely, sitting in the chair opposite Tara.

"Planned what?" Tara shot back, putting across in no uncertain terms that she was not going to tolerate any more stalling.

Willow swallowed once, then plunged in. "I think we need to relocate. To here. I mean, Santa Cruz, not this hotel, not that I don't like it..." All of Willow's carefully planned speeches had apparently decided to fly off to Borneo. "Anyway, out of Sunnydale. You and me."

"Um, I kinda guessed that. When w-were you planning on telling me? Sometime after our first month here?" Tara covered her eyes with her hand, squeezing them shut, then looking again at her girlfriend. "Please tell me that this is not some, uh, elaborate kidnapping scheme."

Willow's jaw dropped halfway to the table. "Of course it's not! Is that what you think? Tara, I could never do anything like that to you! I love you, don't you know that, I'd never..."

"Go behind my back -- again! You did it when you showed Dawn which magic book to grab, and you're doing it now!" Tara's voice was louder now than Willow could ever remember hearing it. "Th-this is 'Willow knows best, so I'll just, just get around dumb ol' Tara--'"

"Oh! So not true!" Willow shot back, losing her temper, but partly because she felt guilty; Tara had hit home a little more than Willow would like to admit. "I have never said or, ever thought you were dumb! I'm sorry you feel that I don't tell you every damn thing, but I'm doing this for you!" Willow started to choke up on her last few words. She stood up and walked over to the other side of the room. "Please, Tara, baby, I don't want to fight."

"Well, I'm s-sorry, but I need to you to be honest with me n-now. Why do you want us to move here?"

Willow took a deep breath, trying to control the sobs that threatened to burst out of her. "I want us to live here, away from Sunnydale. Away from vampires and demons and hellgods and danger and death," she paused to choke back a sob, "I don't want you getting hurt anymore, I don't want you to ever get hurt again."

Tara stared at her lover for a long moment before standing and walking over in Willow's direction (though stopping, Willow noticed, a hands-span too far to touch). "Honey, what happened to me with G-Glory, that wasn't your fault..."

"Yes it was!" Willow shouted back. "Okay, even if we hadn't had that fight, she only went after you because you were Buffy's friend, she knew the Slayer was hiding the Key, she went after the one person who was 'new,' which you were, I suppose, there was no way she could know that Dawn hadn't been there all along, and..." she stopped as the sobs finally burst forth. "I can't let anything happen to you. You're...you're my life, don't you see that? Oh, God, crying now!"

"W-Willow," Tara said, sniffling back a few tears herself, despite the fact that she was still angry, "I know you, um, want to take care of me, but, but I've been taking care of myself since I left home. I knew what I was getting into when I started hanging out with you and Buffy and the others."

Willow shook her head. "No, it was stupid and foolish of me. I made it all sound so exciting, just because I got all excited when I first knew Buffy, and I almost got killed by a blond bimbo vampire in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform," Tara raised her eyebrows at that. "Don't ask. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I want us to have a life for ourselves, that doesn't involve the Hellmouth and the next Big Bad that's going to blow through Sunnydale."

Tara stood still for a moment, then slowly nodded. "I'm listening."

Willow wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Okay, we transfer our academic credits to UC Santa Cruz. That's why I brought the transcripts, so we could fill out applications and enroll while we're here, then we can go back to Sunnydale and arrange the move. I think we can find a nice apartment off-campus, a place that takes pets so we can have Miss Kitty out in the open. I can probably get a job in one of the Silicon Valley firms, they're all over the place, and hey, we'll be only a hour or so from San Francisco, nice big city with a sizable gay and lesbian population..."

Tara sighed, her blue eyes closing in exasperation. "Y'know, this-this all sounds great, but..." Willow made an impatient "What?" gesture. "I think you're running away from, well, Buffy."

The redhead made a growling sound that Spike would have given a six out of ten. "No! This has nothing to do with Buffy! Yes, she was my best friend, and I loved her, and she's dead, and I miss her, but I have to live my life for me and for you now. I can't keep fighting demons for the rest of my life just because she might want me to...and I'm not even sure of that!" Tears rolled down Willow's face, her eyes stinging. "Even Kirk and Spock went home at the end of the five year mission. Well, it's been five years and I've had enough!"

Tara chose not to bring up the fact that Kirk and Spock came back for six movies. She decided to stay on topic. "What about the others? Xander, Anya, Giles, Dawn? How can you leave Dawn? She's lost her mother, her sister...her father is still God-Knows-Where..."

"Giles'll take care of her," Willow countered, sounding like she was trying to convince herself as well as Tara. "She's a Summers, she's a survivor. Before you know it, she'll be going toff to college anyway. Xander, he's getting good at construction, he and Anya can move somewhere else, too, a good carpenter can get a job anywhere, right? And, and we'll be there for their wedding, I never said we would never see any of them again, and hey, Spike, he was taking care of himself for a century before we were born, he'll be all right, right?" Willow wiped her face again, then moved forward towards Tara and took her hands in her own. "I just want us to have a chance for a normal life. Haven't we, like, earned it by now?"

Tara said nothing for a long moment. Abruptly, she pulled her hands away from Willow's, to the other's dismay. "D-did it ever occur to you that I m-might not want to leave these people? That maybe they mean something to me? That I might consider them f-family, because they accepted me even I... All you thought of, was how to cure your guilt over what happ-happened to me. Not about what I want. You, you're so busy trying to protect me from skinning my knees, you don't even care about my feelings enough to even ask me if I want to do this!" She turned away from Willow to look for her jeans. Slipping them on, she turned back to Willow. "You keep on trying to f-fix the world, Willow, and you keep messing up because you're trying to fix what isn't broke! When are you going to learn?"

"Where are you going?" Willow whispered, as Tara found and slipped on her shoes.

"I don't know. I j-just can't stay with someone who feels she has to keep things from me."

At that point, Willow's temper reached the redline. "You mean, things like the family you were too embarrassed to tell me about? Oh, wait, that was you, wasn't it?"

Wrong thing to say. If Willow had spit in Tara's face, she probably could not have gotten a more hurt, more betrayed expression. "D-don't wait up for me." She grabbed her key and billfold and just managed to not slam the door on her way out.

Willow sat on the edge of the bed, for a long moment too stunned to cry.

***********

After midnight, the crowd in the Lodge bar was still going fairly strong, dancing to a mix of 80s and 90s hits. Tara, however, was in no mood for crowds, so she headed for the restaurant.

It turned out to be a huge, elegant, multi-level dining area with, incongruously, a rushing creek running over rocks, surrounded on both sides by bricked enclosures. The effect was somewhat Old World, and the noise of the water could preclude quiet conversation, but Tara could see how this would be a nice getaway spot for young couples on a honeymoon, or even celebrities trying to "get away from it all."

Of course, as she had said to Willow before, she would hate to be around if there was a flood. She had read on one of the newspapers in the glass-fronted display cases in the lobby that back in the early seventies, the entire lodge had been flooded when the creek overflowed. One young girl went missing, presumed drowned, although the body was never found. Since then, there had been hints of unnatural phenomena, but nothing concrete for psychic investigators to pinpoint. Tara had idly wondered if the mysterious presence she felt earlier could be connected to these events.

Right now, the restaurant was deserted, except for Tara, nursing a cup of coffee and a chocolate cheesecake. The coffee helped keep her awake and on edge; the cheesecake, her usual placebo for The Blues, was doing little to assuage her anger.

Damn her anyway! she thought, stabbing another piece of cake. Almost all my life, people have been "taking care of me," which was their nice way of telling me I was too stupid to talk care of myself. I know I'm quiet and shy and my stutter doesn't help, but I can take care of myself. I don't need her telling me, "Hey baby, here's the deal, take it or leave it!"

Having articulated that thought, she realized she was being a little unfair to Willow. Granted, her lover had no right to go behind her back, but it wasn't as if Tara had been kidnapped by her. If anything, that sounds like the start of a kinky and fun scenario, but I probably better not give Willow any ideas. Willow, as usual, was doing as she thought best, and was simply used to doing things her way. Being the smartest kid in class, she was used to being right all the time.

Besides, Tara knew that finding Willow Rosenberg, against odds that would make Heisenberg's nose bleed, was the best thing that ever happened to her, and it was going to take more than a minor subterfuge for Tara to toss Willow away. Not without a fairly stern lecture, of course. Can't let her get the idea that she can get away with this stuff all the time. I'm lucky to have her, but I've got my pride and my standards, y'know.

With resolve and forebearance in her heart, she finished the last of her cheesecake, then craned her neck to see if she could spot the waitress to get the check. Nope. Probably would have to go find her...

"You have to come," said the voice just her right.

Startled, Tara turned to see the young girl sitting at the table to her right, the girl that had not been there a second ago. She was about Dawn's age, give or take, and in fact reminded Tara quite a bit of the teenager. However, her hair was a shade blonder, the lips thinner, the eyes almost as brown as Xander's. The stranger sat in the chair wearing a denim shirt and jeans, which for a reason Tara could not identify, looked wrong somehow. The cut was very loose, for one thing, and yet the fabric clung somewhat to the girl's skin, as if...

As if it were damp, Tara realized with a shudder. The young girl, presumed drowned. This is her.

The girl spoke again. "You have to come to the house. Soon. There isn't much time left."

"Wh-what h-house?" Tara replied, trying to remain calm and simultaneously deal with what she was seeing and thinking.

"It's just up the road aways. You were planning on going there anyway, you and your friend. We need your help."

Tara's brow furrowed. Even in her extremity of fear, her nurturing instinct pushed outward. "Help? H-how can I help you? You're..." She could not bring herself to say the word.

The girl did not seem to care, however. "You're the first one in so long who even knew I was here. Please, it's only a short time before I'm drawn back there. You and your friend, you must help us. Before it's too late."

"Too late for what? I don't understand--"

"Tara?" Willow's voice made her involuntarily snap around, to see her girlfriend at the entrance of the restaurant. She turned back only to find the girl had vanished. Getting up, she looked around the chair for any sign that anyone had sat there.

Willow, on the other hand, was miffed that Tara had not acknowledged her presence. She made her way over to the table where Tara was moving around, looking as if she had lost a contact lens or something. "Hey, Tara, c'mon talk to me! I know I screwed up, but please, can't we go back--"

"Willow; Willow! Did you see her?"

Tara's outburst cut Willow short. "Uh, well, y'know, when I went through the door just now, I thought...I dunno, I thought I saw someone just for a brief moment, but I thought I was just tired or something."

Tara exhaled. There was nothing out of place at the table, but she could not deny what she saw and heard. "I, I think there's something going on around here, Willow. Something that might be dangerous. And I th-think it has something to do with the Winchester House."

Willow, understandably, took a moment to absorb all of this. Her response, though not well-thought-out, was also somewhat understandable: "Geez, you got some kinda jones for that place!"

*****

Rest assured, more to come. (edit: Sorry, I keep coming back to edit this. Bear with me, I finished this segment about midnight last night.)

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"Who am I? I am Commander Susan Ivanova. Daughter of Andre and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the iron boot that is going to kick your sorry asses all the way back to Earth. I am the last living thing you are ever going to see. God sent me." -- Babylon 5, "Between the Darkness and the Light."

[This message has been edited by CaptMurdock (edited July 18, 2001).]

[Dr.G]

Oh damn you, write faster! You are such a great story teller. I love the way they are so true to character and the storyline is very captivating. I can't wait for the next part.

Oh lol at the Kirk/Spock reference, very funny.

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Amber Benson has really nice hair and I want her shampoo.

[Puff]

Wow I am loving this story please write more soon.

[Ed Wood]

Great great great. The fic is, what can I say? ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!!! I'm gonna go with Doc Garfield: you're such a great story teller!

MORE! MORE! MORE!

pleeeaaaaassseeeeeee *puppy dog eyes*

[Halcyon]

Loving the characterization and psych about Tara's background. That Heisenberg bit made me giggle..hee.

Waiting for the next part very patiently.