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We’ve got our first, very confident look at the first eight UPN episodes of the best television show in production, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”
Here’s the big news:
* Buffy and Spike become more than friends before Thanksgiving.
* The increasingly powerful telekinetic redhead Willow is going to go from Marvel Girl to Dark Phoenix. Look for her to emerge as the season’s Big Bad.
* A midseason wedding is planned for Xander and Anya, but when an anxious Xander gets cold feet on wedding day, Anya turns back into a vengeance demon and seeks out the boy who stood her up. But even in demon-mode Anya realizes she can’t hurt her little butt-monkey -- and reverts back to human.
* There will be a recurring “little bad” this season as a trio of bored twentysomethings begin using dark magic to conjure demons. Nerdy Jonathan, last seen in “Superstar,” will be one of the more harmless members of the troika.
Here’s a rough breakdown of the episodes through November sweeps:
Buffy 6.1/6.2 (Oct. 9)
Buffy is dead and buried. Giles, with no slayer to watch, heads back to England. Anya has taken over the Magic Box. Willow and Tara are acting as Dawn’s guardians. And Willow has reprogrammed the Buffybot: it not only slays Sunnydale’s demons, it goes to college and attends PTA meetings so Dawn’s dad remains unaware of Buffy’s death.
Willow uses her growing powers to revive Buffy, but the spell is slow-acting and the gang misses the slayer’s emergence from the grave. When Buffy does get back above ground, she is not herself and wanders back to the scene of her own death.
A demon motorcycle gang rides into Sunnydale to challenge the Buffybot. The demons damage the Buffybot badly but it stays “alive” long enough to tell Dawn of Buffy’s return. Dawn finds Buffy at the tower, where Buffy defeats the demon gang and, at episode’s end, reunites with the Scoobies.
Buffy 6.3 (Oct. 16)
As the Scoobs contend with a demon ghost, Buffy realizes she was happier with the peace of the afterlife. She finds a sympathetic ear in someone else who knows something about an afterlife: Spike.
Buffy 6.4 (Oct. 23)
With Joyce gone, Buffy finds herself trying to contend with burst pipes and home-improvement loans.
She seeks out the advice of a just-returned Giles and indulges an off-camera meeting with Angel (which makes Spike very jealous).
Buffy’s ongoing frustration is bad news for the demon dispatched – by a trio of bored, twentysomething would-be sorcerers – to the slayer’s home. Buffy begs the demon not to break anything, and winds up drowning him in a pool of water formed by her plumbing leak.
Buffy 6.5 (Oct. 30)
When Dawn lies to Buffy and spends Halloween night joyriding and partying with boys, Buffy finds herself having to assume the role of parent/disciplinarian.
Meanwhile, after Willow and Tara have a fight about Willow’s abuse of magic, Willow casts a spell on Tara to make her forget the fight.
Buffy 6.6 (Nov. 6)
Panicky about his impending marriage to Anya, Xander accidentally concocts a “truth spell” that causes everyone in Sunnydale to reveal all of their innermost thoughts and feelings in song.
When Buffy and Spike learn of their true feelings for each other, they share their first real kiss.
Willow reveals in song that she cast a spell to make Tara forget their fight, and Tara decides to break up with Willow as a result.
Finally, Giles decides to return to England for good.
The episode’s original score and lyrics were written by “Buffy” creator Joss Whedon.
Buffy 6.7 (Nov. 13)
Giles says his good-byes as he finalizes preparations for his return to the U.K.
Buffy 6.8 (Nov. 20)
When a demon invades Buffy, making it impossible for her to determine what is and isn’t real, she winds up in a mental hospital.
BONUS!!
We at Coax know all who watched Wednesday night’s repeat of “The Body” are jonesing from “Buffy” withdrawal, so here some excerpts from the two-hour premiere:
INT. DAWN’S SCHOOL CLASSROOM - DAY
Dawn and the Buffybot sit in a classroom along with a number of other students and parents. A somewhat stern-looking teacher, MS. LEFCOURT, is addressing them.
LEFCOURT: … as you can see, we provide the best in progressive school learning tools. But we can’t teach your child unless you do. As parents, you have a responsibility to create the right attitude. To teach them what school can mean –
The Buffybot shoots her hand up. Dawn tries desperately to get her to put it down before Lefcourt sees her – but it’s too late.
LEFCOURT: Ms. Summers?
BUFFYBOT (standing, proudly): School is where you learn.
(a beat)
LEFCOURT: Exactly. Parents let kids focus on school as a social experience, rather than a learning experience. We want you to get your kids as excited about education as they are about lunch hour –
Buffybot pipes up again. Dawn looks like she wants to die.
BUFFYBOT: I helped make lunch today.
LEFCOURT: Oh?
BUFFBOT: Before school. Peanut butter and jelly. I don’t eat, but Dawn likes them.
Another beat. Some of the parents look confused.
LEFCOURT: Well. Didn’t Ms. Summers just say a mouthful? About spending quality time with your child – making lunch, talking about the day ahead … Out of the mouths of babes, parents. Out of the mouths of babes.
Lefcourt beams. Buffybot smiles. Dawn sweats.
INT. DIFFERENT CLASSROOM – DAY
DAWN: This is our city of the future. I made the hover cars. They’re orange juice cans, see?
BUFFYBOT: They’re very nice. But I don’t understand…
The TEACHER, and eager young sort, jumps in.
TEACHER: We’re reading “Walden.” This is the kids’ version of a utopian society. You’ll notice there are no schools and an extraordinary number of pizza parlors.
BUFFYBOT (genuinely puzzled, examining the city): I don’t know of a breed of humans this small. Who’s going to live here?
A beat. Dawn realizes this has to be played off as a joke and starts laughing way too enthusiastically for the teacher’s benefit.
DAWN: Oh God. She’s always like this.
Still laughing a little desperately, Dawn pulls the Buffybot away from the table.
DAWN (walking Buffy off fast): Come on, wacky Buffy. See you, Mr. Davis. (under her breath) That’s enough face time. Let’s just go to my homeroom –
They are blindsided by one of the parents, an abrasive busy-body type named MRS. WILDER.
WILDER: Buffy Summers!
They stop and Dawn pastes on a fake smile. We see that Mrs. Wilder is dragging her cringing son with her. Mrs. Wilder latches onto the Buffybot.
WILDER: I just wanted to say that all of the parents think what you’re doing is so brave.
BUFFYBOT: Not really. It’s what I’m built for.
WILDER: Well then, you’re a credit to your mother. And little Dawn here, loss matured her. Just yanked her right out of that awkward phase –
DAWN: Thanks, Mrs. Wilder. But we’d better get –
WILDER (to Buffybot): Have you met my son? Justin?
She drags poor Justin forward. He and Dawn meet eyes. Bonded in embarrassment.
WILDER: He’s spoiled rotten. I keep telling him he should be thankful for what he’s got. Other kids have it so much worse, am I right?
BUFFYBOT: Not really. I think it would be very difficult having a parent like you.
Wilder’s jaw drops. Justin smiles.
BUFFYBOT: We have to go now. Have a nice day.
INT. MAGIC BOX – DAY
Giles is at his desk, which is piled high with papers that he’s sorting through. There are a few moving boxes around. Xander and Anya are dusting and moving inventory in the background.
GILES (holding paper): Anya, I seem to be missing the register report for January of last year.
ANYA (wearily): It’s stapled to the inside of the file folder. Like with the others.
GILES: Oh. Right. Sorry. Never hurts to double-check.
ANYA: But triple-checking does. You’re making my teeth ache.
GILES: I’m sorry if you resent my thoroughness, but I won’t be comfortable leaving here until I know all the records are in order.
Anya pulls something from one of Giles’ boxes. A small carved statue.
ANYA: You’re taking the Ramadan effigy?
Giles grabs it from her.
EXT. RETAIL ESTABLISHMENT – NIGHT
Some of the regulars look intimidated, particularly the females, who have to endure the Hellions’ crude passes. Other customers seem to enjoy the chaotic energy the Hellions bring. Among them we see THE SHEMPY VAMP who fought Buffybot earlier. He’s drunk now and mouthing off to some of his friends.
SHEMPY VAMP: … so I’ve got her cornered in this alley, see?
MAG (disbelieving): You’ve got the slayer cornered.
SHEMPY VAMP: Yeah, I figured, it’s my duty, right? She’s a menace to our society. So we fight – and I’m like – BOOM BOOM BOOM! I got her on the ropes –
The impatient Hellion grabs the shempy vamp’s neck with a meaty hand. Squeezes.
MAG: I don’t like liars –
Shempy scrambles, trying to win back his audience.
SHEMPY VAMP: I swear on all that’s unholy! You haven’t even heart the best part. I cut her, right? And she’s, I don’t know, some kind of machine. She’s not human.
Mag, confused, releases the Shempy Vamp.
MAG: You’re high. SHEMPY VAMP: I’m telling you – itw asn’t even the slayer, man. It was like a trick. A robot.
A beat – then Mag grabs the vamp again and drags him over to a back booth, where the leader of the pack, a demon called RAZOR, sits with his entourage. Razor is a little bit Marlon Brando in “The Wild One,” a little bit Darth Maul. And a lot scary.
RAZOR: What’s with the blood rat?
MAG (to vamp): Talk.
SHEMPY VAMP (nervous): Okay. See, I was over in Sunnydale, minding my own beeswax, when I see the slayer –
The Hellion shakes the vampire, hard.
MAG: The part about the robot.
SHEMPY VAMP: We fought, right? And I was all over her – BOOM BOOM –
MAG (out of patience): He says the slayer’s been replaced by some kind of machine –
SHEMPY VAMP: A robot, yeah! And I kicked her synthetic ass. You shoulda seen the sparks…
Now RAZOR stands out of the booth – HE’S HUGE.
RAZOR: You’re telling me there’s no slayer in Sunnydale –
SHEMPY VAMP: That’s what I’m saying. They’ve got some kind of decoy in her place. The town’s wide open, if you’re interested. Look, I know you guys don’t usually let vampires join the gang and I’ve got the whole (makes quotes) “sunlight issue” – but I was thinking, as thanks for the 411 –
Razor silences him by quickly RIPPING HIS HEAD OFF with his bare hands. The shempy vamp dusts.
RAZOR: I’ll let you die quickly.
Razor looks to the rest of his bad-ass gang, who have all gathered around.
RAZOR: Let’s ride.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Mag is leaning through the shattered window of an eletronics store and stealing everything in sight.
BUFFYBOT: That doesn’t belong to you.
Mag turns, DVD player in hand, to see the Buffybot standing nearby. He snarls.
BUFFYBOT: Put it back or –
But she’s cut off as Mag drops the DVD player to the ground and opens his mouth – emitting an eerie, high-pitched wail … it’s clearly some kind of signal to the other demons in the area. Everyone stops, including RAZOR, and moves to Mag.
Buffybot is surrounded. Razor steps close to her, examining her carefully…
RAZOR: Slayer. I’ve been hearing interesting things about you.
BUFFYBOT: Yes. I am interesting. Are these your friends?
RAZOR: They’re my guys, yeah.
BUFFYBOT: Good. Tell them to get on their loud bicycles and go back to wherever they came from –
RAZOR: Or what? You’ll electrocute us?
Razor slams her with a brutal uppercut. The Buffybot falls back into a group of demons.
RAZOR: Hold her!
They do. Surprised, the Buffybot struggles but is momentarily restrained by two demons. Razor reveals the reason for his moniker when he raises his hand and a switchblade-style claw suddenly grows from it…
Razor SLASHED THE BUFFYBOT deeply across the chest, revealing her robot inner workings.
RAZOR: You’re nothing but a toy. A pretty toy… (moves in closer) Wanna play?
The Buffybot marshals her strength and KNEES RAZOR. Then she FLIPS the demons who hold each of her arms.
BUFFYBOT: I would, but you injured me. I have to report to Willow.
A breif fight ensues. The Buffybot manages to drop Razor with a few well-landed blows, then knock back the rest of the demons trying to hold her. She takes off running. Razor climbs to his feet.
RAZOR: Get her!
The demons run for their motorcycles and take off after the retreating Buffybot.
EXT. BUFFY’S GRAVE – NIGHT
The spell is gaining momentum. Tara, Xander and Anya are now huddled together – helpless as they watch something that is clearly out of their control.
Willow is bucking in the middle of a crackling RED SWIRL OF ENERGY. It’s clearly draining her life-force, taking everything out of her… but still, she shouts –
WILLOW: Osiris! Release her!
Now a horrible RUMBLING sounds from the forest. A beat, and BUFFYBOT appears.
BUFFYBOT: Willow – I need service!
Everyone reacts as RAZOR, MAG and THREE OTHER DEMONS, all on motorcycles, crash through the woods. They are hyped, ready to rampage.
*reposted by xita
[This message has been edited by xita (edited July 05, 2001).]
