Author name - WI is fine.
Rating - This is a Willow Tara story, and yes there will be lovemaking. Eventually. NC-17
Disclaimer - Definetly an angst filled fic set durring Willow's withdrawl in season five. Joss owned. I borrowed.
All songs belong to writeful writers. Tori, Sarah etc.
And also this proper disclaimer is owned by Rane.
Feedback- please
Summary- Tara comes to Willow durring the worst of her withdrawls from magick.
I'd like to thank all the author's who have come before me. Sassette, Lisa of Nine, Dumbsaint and Tommo.
I'd also like to thank Sarah (UnionJill ) for partial inspiration in using songs to say what one feels.
When the night has come
And the land is dark
and the moon, is the only light we see
No, I won't be afraid No I won't shed a tear
Just as long, as you stand, stand by me.
So Darlin, Darlin Stand by me
Oh Stand by me
Oh stand now, stand by me
If the sky we look apon should tumble and fall
And the mountain should crumble to the see
I won't cry, no I won't cry no I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me.
The moon was bright in Sunnydale that night. It always seemed bright even on the darkest of days. That day, Willow had her downfall and had brought Dawn down with her. The events that followed had been a blur and she didn't even remember having showered or changed to get into bed. All Willow knew right now, at this moment was the pain. The pain of need, of unquenched desire, of loss. The bed sheets had been soaked through a long time ago but no one was going to help her change them, not now. All she could do was lay in the soaked bed, sweaty and in pain. Emotional pain could sometimes feel worse then physical pain. The redhead had read that in one of her psychology books. About those who cut themselves to release pain. It made sense now when it hadn't before. Before she would have never even have thought of that sort of release, but now, when everything felt hopeless she understood.
Willow understood the turmoil that runs in the darkest of night, when your alone and there is nothing more terrifying then your own self. A self that was falling, that remained trapped in a sea of darkness despite the light of the ever present moon. Nothing repents itself in the dark, it's only savior is light. It was the light that she prayed heard her, the Goddess, the moon she wanted to draw down and wrap around herself in comfort. What comfort was that of an ethereal presence when her real life Goddess was gone, her Tara. Even the name sent a spasm through the redhead. Enough to perhaps ease some of the other yearnings and she could focus on something at least. Shakily she had moved, eased herself down onto her stomach and buried her face in the drenched pillow. Perhaps she'd die this way, die lonely and yearning for a love she'd destroyed. An animalistic sound emerged past her throat, sobs that filtered down into the pillow so no one would hear. Or she prayed no one heard.
Willow's prayer's had not gone unnoticed despite how much Tara wished she could stay away. The moon saw everything, felt everything and during her meditations she could feel Willow's pain as if her own. Once she'd settled into her newly assigned dorm room she had cast a circle amongst the boxes of belonging's. Everything about this first night of release had caused her to be rather skittish. How could she have thought to meditate on the night of the bright moon was beyond her. But even now, with barrier's and self preservation rights that she'd done Tara still felt Willow. She would always feel Willow as she prayed Willow would always feel her. And it was for that reason and that reason alone that the blonde could not stay away that night.
The walk down Revello Drive at night had not been one of Tara's brighter idea's, but if she'd called anyone, even Xander there would have been some form of intervention. The house seemed still, unlike the warm home she was used to. Still having her key, the blonde entered rather quietly and shut the door behind her hopefully avoiding a loud click as she locked it. It was dark inside, quiet and filled with chilled regret. The kitchen, as Tara moved through it felt empty, since it'd often been a place of gatherings. She had checked briefly on Dawn, knowing of the accident since a phone call earlier that evening from Buffy had gotten her rather upset. Garlic permeated through the house, her nose wrinkling slightly. Tara knew better then to ask about that one as she made her way to her old room. Their old room.
The door had been left just slightly ajar, on purpose or accident Tara would never know. But it left for an easy entrance. She had promptly shut the door behind her and just starred at the girl who was formally her girlfriend, a twisted, sobbing figure soaked in sweat and looking much like a junkie other then a magick addict. One in the same, the blonde mused. All Tara could do was find a chair and wait. Wait for Willow to wake up, or become somewhat aware of her surrounding's before making the decisions of how to cope with her withdrawal. It would be the hardest decision Tara had ever made in her life, and she dreaded it more then her past. Since Willow would always be her future.
"It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we can live without cheese, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without Cheese, we'd be truly dead."- Angel on the Passions of Cheese
Definitely looking forward to the next update. Keep up the lovely work 
you are writing more. Update soon please!
