New Fic: Goddess from the Green

[Sapphos Dream]

Title - Goddess from the Green

Author name - LaTisha...Tishy..Tish...Tisha...or just SD...doesn't matter

Email Address - ecchithoughtsofwillow@yahoo.com....ecchi means naughty in Japanese

Rating - PG-13 for the first couple of chapters, one NC-17 slip up then R and NC-17 throughout the whole way.

Disclaimer - Some beatage, but trust me it'll be worth it...if you don't like it...*sighs*...I thought I might care but..*shakes head*..nope don't care. No spoilers but it'll be worth it. Mostly AU

Feedback- Maybe..maybe not..it all depends

Summary- There's a goddess in every woman and child(ren)....curious?...I hope so..

Author's Note:....first couple of chapters are short but they say so much you just have to read between the lines and have a HUGE imagination cuz mostly like whatever normal thing you try to image will be wrong...













Chapter 1





Willow strolled confidently into the OBGYN's office for her 5th month check-up her long red hair ending at her upper thigh it it's delicate french braid. Her green eye's sparkling in pregnancy and her pale freckled skin glowing. Her stomach bulging and breast..well at least now she had some...boy did she have some, from a 32B to a 34D. But in all of the pregnancy's glory she hated one thing: Dr. Mitchell. Everytime she went it was the same thing, she spread her legs, Dr. Mitchell coldly felt her up, she closed her legs, and got the same news everytime. Her babies were healthy. Goddess, she knew that. She felt them kick and move.She knew when the babies were sleep, when they were awake, when they were hungry, and when either one of them became uncomfortable. She knew it, so why go. Plus everytime she had to put up with the ridiculous stares that other expecting mothers or patients gave her. She knew what was going through their minds, most probably having heard of her, others guessing her age. She looked 16 but hey give a 19 year old credit, she couldn't help it if she looked younger than what she was, especially in her loose blue jean overalls with little bursts of flowers on it. She wasn't fazed by it but it was pissing her off and keeping her emotions in check was not a fine line to be played with. Walking straight up to the assistant's desk, she smiled and drawled out," Hey Buffy, I'm here for my 6th month check-up."







What do you think so far??? Is it any good...*twiddles thumbs together*





Tisha

Edited by: maudmac  at: 3/21/05 3:50 pm

[peggy of sunnydale]

hey nice start looks real promising i like the idea of her pregnant is tara her next obgyn i hope so keep it up





totaly cute

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

Love it! But then again, I'm a sucker for the fics with kids. Yay! Willow's gonna be a Mommy!



More please?



xoxo

Emms

[dreamspace]

Very nice start. Pregnancy is always a good theme, so I'm guessing you'll have lots of fans. I liked the way you described Willow, long hair (I personally LOVE her with long hair ) and looking younger than she really is. The question in everyone's mind is obvious: who is the "daddy"? In a perfect world it would be Tara, but as I'm thinking this story won't have witchy-fu that would be kinda impossible. Sooo, who is it? Not Oz, I hope, God knows I really like him but not with Willow, please. Maybe Xander was sperm donor? Or unknown sperm donor? Or... Gods, so many possibilities, I would be rambling for hours.

Alright, shutting up now. Update? Soonish please?

Cheers!

Anna



"Well, I got things to do, people to annoy and monkeys to migrate"



"We are witches and they are wiccans...you know members of WICCA....The Women Identified Candle and Cookie Association" - Angels and Goddesses

[TaraBaby77]

Great start. So when are we going to get blessed with an update??? Keep'm comin', please??? =)

Aaron

'Tarababy77'

---

"Don't buy into all the media crap. Love yourself for who you are, not what others THINK you should look like. It's DEFINITELY more important in this life to love each other despite our imperfections." - Amber Benson

---

[Sapphos Dream]

Ask and ye shall receive...who says every story doesn't have a little bit of magic in it??? *arches eyebrows*



Disclaimer in Chapter 1



Chapter 2







Tara looked over the file. 'Hmm,' she thought. The case wasn't what she expected. Most moms actually came to their appointments worrying about their babies, but this woman hadn't came since she found out she was pregnant actually. She came twice then never showed back up. Dr. Mitchell's theory was that she had an abortion, but Ms. Rosenberg was here so undoubtedly she didn't. Walking to the intercom on the wall she pressed the small button," Buffy, can you show Ms. Rosenberg her way back here. I would go get her but I'm kinda busy."

        "Okay Doc," Buffy smacked out, her gum clicking restlessly with every small pop.

        "Thanks Buffy," the blonde said back.

        "No prob," came back the reply.

        Tara sat back in her chair by her desk and waited for her patient to come in. She had alot to talk to her about. Especially the terms of the birth. She wasn't artificially inseminated for they would have saw she was unable to bare a child for any long period of time, and from the last tests ran on the girl it didn't seem like she willingly got pregnant. Her vagina was scarred in several places in the internal wall cavities and scars on the outer flesh around that area looked as it was torn before as well. Yet the babies were healthy so it seemed the patient was content. Dr. Mitchell's notes on this patient was very extensive, and for the girl to be carrying twins made the case even more intriguing. Suddenly the door opened with Buffy appearing for behind it, her hair a tangle of a long blonde mane.

        "Your patient's in room 2 right down the hall. I told her to get comfortable, so she just put on the gown and laid down. I think she knows the procedure by now. Heh."

        "How many times has she been here," Tara asked curiously. How would anyone know the procedure from only being here twice. She barely knew most of the procedures and this was her 4th year of residency.

        " Many. Sometimes for antibiotic creams, sometimes stitches, sometimes surgery. Everyone knows her, or at least who she is. Her parents are the creepiest people I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. Before she went to college, her parents never allowed her outside after 3, which meant she went to school and came straight back inside. I heard one time she came in at 3:01 and her father raised so much hell she had a mental breakdown. I think it was the bruises that made her like that though. Her family is sacreligious so beating the women into place is not uncommon from what I hear. Her husband--"

        "She has a husband?" Tara asked incredulously. The girl was only 19 when did she have time to get married? Was it one of those high school sweetheart marriages or something?

        "She had a husband. Her father married her off to her third cousin. She kicked and screamed when they drug her to the altar, she was 17 for god's sake. He was a mean man, slapped her down right then and there to shut her up. He disappeared after the honeymoon though. No one saw him again. Some think she killed him. I think she put him in his place and he just left but whatever. Whatever happened not many people in this town talk about it, not many people ever really see her. She still stays inside. Works from home. Shops at night. She tries really hard to stay away from people like her father told her to."

        Tara was quietly thinking. Where was the law in any of this? This poor woman goes through hell and no one even really pays any attention to her at all other than to gossip. Someone like her would be a hard patient. Whether she was mentally disturbed or otherwise could decide the actual delivery later in her term. She had to be calm when addressing Ms. Rosenberg she decided firmly in her head. "Okay," she said solemnly with a nod," Thank you Buffy. I'll give her about 3 minutes more then go in."

        Buffy looked at her smacking her gum," Aight. Buzz if ya need me," with that she left.

        Tara sighed crossing her finger over her eyes. Looonnnnggggggg day. Picking up her crisp white doctor's jacket she put it on going to meet her patient in Room 2.





TBC....



Please don't kill me....*twiddles thumbs*



Tisha

Edited by: Sapphos Dream at: 3/21/05 2:59 pm

[Sapphos Dream]

Well...I guess this wasn't such a big hit....well..I'll wait five more days and update regardless...

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

why wait 5 days? you could post now ya know..



This latest update was kind of confusing for me...not because I couldn't figure out what was going on...but more because this update kind of caught me off-guard character-wise...like...willow being forced to marry her third cousin? what was that about? (scary)



also...Why would willow be thought to have had an abortion just because she hadn't been in since her initial visit? She's 19 right? I would think that would've lead the doctors to believe Willow just didn't know the importance of regular check-ups... shouldn't they have followed-up....you know...called or something?



I'm still intrigued. Update soon?



xoxo

Emms

[Kendahl897]

If you don't announce it in the update thread, most people will not even know its here.Its the first thread in this section, where people announce new stories and chapters.

Edited by: Kendahl897 at: 3/26/05 8:31 pm

[Sapphos Dream]

*puts hands up scared*..okay okay I give. It's kinda of a confusing story but I promise the next two chapters will explain everything. you just have to trust and don't kill me and I promise you'll get everything. Especially when you see her family...more importantly, her father.



Give me two more days and I'll have them posted I promise. I've been trying fics for a while to get the feel of them and this one I think could make it. I just need to really get focused and post them, but they'll be up in two days tops...I promise.





Tisha

[MissKittys Ball O Yarn]

Hi Tisha



Don't be scared... Im sorry if I came off as a little... cause I didn't mean it that way. I really like what you've got going here. And please...by all means take all the time you need. No rush.



xoxo

Emms

[Tempest Duer]

A little confusing, a little creepy and your description of Willow's family makes them downright disturbing - but at the same time that's a compliment to your abilities as a writer. I'm already emotionally invested in this story, so I would like to see it continued most certainly. Don't get discouraged.

I got bitten by a drunk lesbian! Does that mean I'll turn into one?



~my friend Mary

[TaraBaby77]

Hmmm, I am definitely curious on what's next. How Tara can keep all that she knows now, from being evident when she finally sees Willow in the waiting room. And Willow's father??? Dear gosh!!! Talk about harse... Anyhoo, like everyone has said, don't be scared... just bless us with another update soon. Take care. =)

Aaron

'Tarababy77'

---

"Don't buy into all the media crap. Love yourself for who you are, not what others THINK you should look like. It's DEFINITELY more important in this life to love each other despite our imperfections." - Amber Benson

---

[DarkWiccan]

Hi there. Your story premise is definitely interesting... sort of a combination of Deliverence, Nell and Agnes of God. Nothing short of bold.



Some of your sentence structure is a little confusing, and the meaning of what you are saying gets lost. This is something you might want to take a look at. For example:

Quote:

---

Willow strolled confidently into the OBGYN's office for her 5th month check-up

---

Then later in the same paragraph you have Willow saying:

Quote:

---

"Hey Buffy, I'm here for my 6th month check-up."

---

This left me scratching my head. Which month is it?



Also you have a tendency to drop the requisite "s" to indicate plural. For example you say "breast" instead of breasts and "burst" instead of bursts (when refering to the embroidery on Willow's overalls). You need to keep an eye out for this too.



Finally watch out for potentially confusing phrases. For example:

Quote:

---

Her family is sacreligious so beating the women into place is not uncommon from what I hear.

---

Are you sure "sacreligious" is the term you meant? Sacreligious means to go against religious doctrine. I can't tell from the usage in this sentence whether you mean the family is deeply religious, or against religion.



Also here:

Quote:

---

Whether she was mentally disturbed or otherwise could decide the actual delivery later in her term.

---

Can you clarify this sentence for me?



Your knowledge of medicine, though seemingly cursory, is detailed. This shows me that you know what you are talking about and that is a definitely a good thing.



If I seem tough it's only because I like the start you have, and would love to see you move forward with it, and grow your skills as a writer.



My suggestion for you is to re-read your updates carefully a minimum of three times before posting. You will be amazed at the little (and big) things you will catch.



I haven't seen you around before... so here's my hearty welcome to you!! I'm interested to see what happens next!!



Cheers

DW



Edited because I realized that I made some technical mistakes!

"Promise me you'll never be linear." "On my trout." Support The Arts! TLC Fundraiser Forum

Edited by: DarkWiccan at: 3/31/05 1:21 am

[GayNow]

I'd like to add a bit to what DW has written. Specifically, I would like to refer to the following:

Quote:

---

My suggestion for you is to re-read your updates carefully a minimum of three times before posting. You will be amazed at the little (and big) things you will catch.

---

My suggestion is to read it aloud at least 2 times. This will introduce multiple stimuli to your proofreading--you'll see the words, speak the words and hear the words. If you say the words out loud and find that you are hearing grammatical errors or awkward sentence structure, odds are your readers will notice these things too. After you've made corrections, read it aloud again--just to be sure.



This is something I do with my own writing and it is a suggestion I make to my students. It isn't 100% fool proof, but it gets the job done.



My two cents. I'm interested to see where this story goes.



Carleen

[Sapphos Dream]

Sorry I've been sooooo lvery late in updating and thank everyone for their productive comments. And DW hey why don't you beta for me. I'm very pressed for time and could use some help. But all in all it's time to update.







'Okay 28 things I hate about the doctor's,' Willow surmised,' the wait.' She hated the wait. All she wanted to do was rush home before it got dark. She had to protect herself and her babies and changing again wouldn't help neither of them. Sighing she laid down thinking of baby names. She had supposed when it was time the babies would tell her what name they wanted but she hadn't heard from them yet so she would think for them. She was thinking of the name Karma when the door opened.

        "Hello Ms. Rosenberg," the blonde doctor came around to face the red head," I'm Dr. Maclay, Dr. Mitchell has decided to hand your case over to me considering my experience with multiple births."

        Willow stared. Who was this goddess? This...Goddess. I know her last name is Maclay but exactly who is she? She seems familiar? Is it her look? No. Her voice? No, though it's beautiful. Her soul??? " What is your first name," she blurted out. She just had know, she didn't know why but she was riveted to her, her blonde flowing hair, her ocean sapphire eyes, her rosy lips and sun-kissed skin.

        Tara looked at her curiously. Why is she staring like that? Look at her eyes, they are so green. Why won't she stop staring at me like that? It's so unnerving...I'm trying hard to not reach down and kiss her and she stares at me. Kiss her? Where did that come from? Do I want to kiss her? Yeah..yeah I wan't to, but I can't and I won't. Wait, she asked me something? My name...ummm...damnit...I forgot what my name was. Wait! I'm Tara okay..Tara..hear we go..got to say the name." T-T-Tara." Damnit. I was so close. The stutters back. She sighed.

        Willow rolled the name out on her tongue her slight Southern accent carressing every syllable. The name would sound so beautiful in her native tongue. Willow internally groaned. None of that. She couldn't afford to risk everything for this...this..this Goddess named Tara. She had to help the girl though. She hadn't mean to make her stutter so she'd have to get rid of it. The poor girl probably looked into her eyes. She hated when people looked into the green of her eyes, it mesmerized them, enchanted them, captured them and wouldn't let go. The eyes of the Faerie people are trance-like and the colors captivating, knowing that the green of her eyes was rare and that made people who saw them even more mesmerized than most of the Fae women who used their eyes to find their mate. " Stutter none for peasants nor queens, for I am just nature, like wind under wings." She said calmly while Tara just stared on. Willow touched her throat and warmth carried through her whole body. Tara gasped. The heat..it was so familiar, so erotic, so warm. It soaked into every pore of her body and warmed her soul. Pulling her hand back, Willow ducked her head down, feeling everything around her as she staggered back. It was her...it had to be. She had found her soulmate. Willow looked up into the mirror in the corner and gasped. Her eyes swirled with the emerald green of her's and the ocean blue of Tara's eyes. NO! She wouldn't change. She couldn't. One more change and her children would be full Faeries and taken away from her. She couldn't let it happen. She wouldn't and it all depended on her. She couldn't give up her children for anyone. Walking back Willow took a deep breath resolving herself. "I must go," she whispered.

        Tara was still stuck on the feeling. What was that? What had this girl done to her? She felt confident...in everything. "Go? Go where. We haven't even started Ms. Rosenberg."

        The redhead quickly left the room. Tara ran to the door to follow but saw no sign of the girl. She closed the door and sighed leaning against it. What the hell just happened?

[BFR from Paris]

Ooooooh! I had to read it twice because I was distracted, but Willow is a Faerie? Cool! And what's that she can't change once more? is it like the dvd player of your pc, you can change its region only so many times until it's stuck in its current region? Nevermind, I like the beginning of this story, so please continue

[dokkyo]

ooohh this is getting interesting. A few narrative bumps in the beginning, but I'm eager to read where you take this. It's beginning to remind me of Laurell K. Hamilton's Meredith Gentry series. Please continue.

[photographer02]

Very interesting...
please continue?

photographer02

[Sapphos Dream]

Hey everyone. sorry for the delay just alot of unsuspected occurances but I promise to have up the fic sometime this week most likely tomorrow. So thanks for you patience and bear with me


Tisha

[Tarababy77]

No biggie, you update when you can. But did I catch that too??? Willow is a Faerie??? WOW, I'm so in for a great surprise. Anyhoo, like where this is going, but was sad to see Willow run out of the room. Update when you can, kay??? Take care. =)