Ok...here is a partial update. I'll call it Chapter 4a. I wanted to post something since it had been 2 weeks since the last one, and I realized that the length of this chapter was getting unruly, so I decided to cut it in half. I will try to finish writing Chapter 4b as soon as I can.
Thank you all so much for your patience and all the kind words of feedback. It really means a great deal!
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Title: Slipping, Tripping, and Falling in Love
Author: LadyB
Rating: I’m going to say a maximum of “R” for now, but I reserve the right to change it later, if needed.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my own thoughts. All characters, quotes, and references to BtVS are owned by Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon, Fox, UPN, et al. Song lyrics in chapter 4a belong to Basement Jaxx.
Distribution: Pens and my site
http://www.geocities.com/ladybrym/index.htmlSpoilers: I don’t think there are any, really.
Summary: A mostly non-angsty piece of fiction. Pretty much AU…Tara and Willow are University Professors and are not residents of the Hellmouth. The course of love doesn’t always run smooth, especially for the neurotic and accident-prone.
Chapter 4a:
The drive from the market to Tara’s apartment was a short one, barely lasting ten minutes. Conversation was sparse during this time as Willow was content to rest her eyes and let the bump on her head settle its merciless throb. Tara passed through the gated entrance of the apartment complex, wound her way past a couple of curves and guided her car into covered spot number S4-10. As she turned off the engine, the blonde looked over at her passenger, smiling softly. During the drive, she’d snuck glances at the redhead, each time catching her with her eyes closed. Tara reached over with her left hand and gently brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face and behind her ear. “H-hey there.”
Willow opened her eyes and smiled at the object in her line of sight. “Hey. Are we there yet?”
The blonde laughed softly as her hand trailed down to play with the ear-tucked ends of Willow’s hair. “Yes, sleepyhead, we’re here.”
“Sleepyhead? No, no…no ‘sleepyhead.’ Only ‘resting my eyes and enjoying the ride head.’” The redhead yawned sheepishly, turning her head in a weak attempt to keep Tara from seeing it. She could hear Tara chuckle and emit an exaggerated ‘mmhmm’ as she yawned. Willow looked back over and grinned. “Ok, fine, a little ‘sleepyhead,’ but don’t you worry, I’m just fine. I mean, finey mcfine fine fine. How much more fine could you get?” Willow quirked her eyebrow as she thought for a second. “Well, I guess you could get finer than finey mcfine fine, but that would be the equivalent of…” Willow was silenced by the feeling of Tara’s index finger against her lips.
“Willow, slow down. Y-you’re going to run through all the words in the dictionary if you keep that up. Plus, I w-was getting lost in all the ‘finey mcfine fines.’ Come on.” She got out of the car. “Let’s get these groceries in my refrigerator so we can go on our coffee date…er, outing, um, excursion, w-well, y-you know.” The blonde’s face glowed beet red as she chided herself for her presumptuousness.
Willow immediately perked up at the mention of impending java joy. “Mocha-y goodness, full speed ahead.” Willow exited the car, walked briskly towards Tara and looped her arm through the other woman’s. “Lead the way, Ms. Maclay.” She smiled at the blonde and Tara moved them both toward her apartment building. Tara led them up a flight of stairs and down the second floor walkway to the apartment that straddled the corner. As Tara unlocked the door and prepared to usher Willow inside, the redhead stopped her, placing her hand on top of the blonde’s which still grasped the key in the lock. “Tara?”
The blonde looked over at Willow, slightly confused. “Yes?”
“It is, you know.”
“What?”
“A date.” Willow squeezed Tara’s hand, smiled, and walked inside the apartment.
***************
“Make yourself at home, Willow. Feel free to turn on the stereo or the TV or something,” Tara called out as she hefted the grocery bags onto the breakfast bar counter.
“Ooh, music? Great.” Willow looked around the living room and spotted the stereo. Walking over to the small setup, the psychology professor whistled. “Nice, Tara. A Bose Acoustic Wave. It’s amazing how such a little piece of equipment can produce such an awesome sound.” Any response Tara had for Willow’s comments was drowned out as Willow pressed the stereo’s “on” button and female vocals surrounded by a thumping baseline poured out of the speakers.
“I want to undress you
Wanna caress you
Don’t wanna be coy
It’s time to GET ME OFF!
Come on my baby, thrust me, trust me, GET ME OFF!”
Willow quickly found the volume button and turned the song down to a less deafening level. “Uh, nice song choice there, Tara. ‘Get Me Off?’” She quirked an eyebrow at the blonde as Tara peeked her head over the grocery bags, blushing furiously. “Was this apartment cleaning music?”
Tara set down the loaf of bread she was about to put away and walked back into the living room, her face still flushed. “Uh, you’re not exactly wrong.” She hit the stop button on the stereo on her way to the CD rack. Making her selection, Tara popped the disc out of its jewel box and placed it in the stereo. A few seconds later, a softer, more soothing sound emanated from the speakers. Both women exhaled as each let the music knead away the tension of the day. “When I got home this afternoon, I w-walked on the treadmill for a w-while and did some strength training. I had the Basement Jaxx CD to keep my rhythm steady. I finished up and as I w-was cleaning up my mess, Anya walked in and immediately changed it to her favorite track.
“Get Me Off.”
“Exactly. Anya’s current phrase of choice…or sh-should I say, action of choice.” She looked at Willow expecting her to know why she was smirking. She realized with a light smack to her forehead that of course she wouldn’t know anything about Anya as Willow had never met the woman, or had even heard of her for that matter. “Oh, Goddess, you have no idea who I’m talking about.” Willow shook her head. “Anya is my roommate.”
“Y-your roommate?” Willow stammered, her mind automatically racing to every conclusion possible. “Is sh-she your, uh…” Tara looked at Willow and saw the fear in her eyes. At that instant, the blonde realized Willow thought Anya was her girlfriend. Her mind still racing, Willow couldn’t look Tara in the eyes, so she lowered her head and stared at the carpet.
Tara immediately cupped her hand and placed it under Willow’s chin, put light pressure on it and moved the psychology professor’s face back to eye level. “Willow, no. God, no. Anya my girlfriend?” She laughed and Willow smiled in relief. “She is so not my girlfriend. Just my roommate, plain and simple.” Realizing how close she was to the redhead, Tara self-consciously removed her hand from Willow’s chin, moved over to the credenza and hit the button on the answering machine. “Anya…hmmm. How to describe her. S-she’s kind of—.” BEEP! The answering machine interrupted the blonde.
“Tara, its Anya. Despite the promise of fresh fish, I am going to have to pass on dinner tonight. Just after you left, Parker and Cordelia came over. Yes, I know you hate them, but I just can’t help myself. You know what happens…me, her, him…throw in some interlocking parts and a Prada store and we’ll be orgasm friends bumpin’ uglies until I feel like I’m 1120 years old. So anyway, sorry, I’ll make it up to you somehow. I’ll probably be back in a couple of days…at least that’s how long it was last time. If by some chance, a man in uniform comes to the door, or a woman for that matter, too…um, just tell them their ‘Little Patriot’ went out of town and I’ll be back. In fact, tell them ‘Anya says to start without her and she’ll be back in a couple days.’ Thanks, Tare! Love ya…well, not in that way, because that would be like loving your sister. And, I may be into lots of things, but not that. Bye!” The machine beeped again and proceeded to announce the date and time of the message at around five minutes before Willow and Tara arrived.
Tara walked back over to where Willow was standing and gently laid her hand on a shoulder. “Willow? You ok there?” The redhead stood still, her brow furrowing, still trying to get her head around that whole answering machine message. “Willow? Sweetie?”
“D-did she just say, uh, ‘bumpin’ uglies?’” Willow looked at Tara with a mixed expression of humor and horror.
Tara moved her hand off of Willow’s shoulder only to cover her mouth as she let out a hearty laugh. A few seconds later, as the blonde calmed down, she grabbed Willow’s hand and led her into the kitchen. “Come on, h-help me put the rest of these groceries away and I’ll tell you about the unique creature that is Anya Jenkins. At least I think that’s what her last name is.”
“Huh? You mean you don’t know what your roommate’s last name is?” Willow wasn’t sure if she heard the blonde correctly. The two entered the kitchen and Tara guided Willow to where the pantry closet was for the dry goods.
“Oh, no. I know a last name of hers is Jenkins.” Both began grabbing groceries off the counter. “Hmm, how do I explain? You see, Willow, Anya is a, um, very free spirit. I guess I could sum it up by saying that she has a voracious appetite for life and, uh, everyone in it.”
Again Willow thought she misunderstood Tara. “Don’t you mean ‘everyTHING in it?’”
With a deadpan expression, Tara clarified. “Uh, no, I meant, ‘everyONE.’”
“Oh,” the redhead blushed. “Ok, go on.”
“Well, I met Anya a few years ago when I was traveling in other parts of the country, taking some time off from life for a while. She was sitting at the counter of a coffee shop, crying to no one in particular about how much men suck and how they should be eviscerated and met with torturous revenge, among other, even more descriptive acts.”
“Goodness,” remarked Willow as she set a box of crackers in the pantry.
Tara laughed. “Oh, there’s more.” She continued, “well, I can’t stand to see anyone upset, so I sat next to her, and tried to calm her down. I found out that a few days prior, Anya’s fiancé ran out on her in the middle of their wedding ceremony. The poor thing was crushed, but the anger she had, I couldn’t believe it. She ranted on about trying to find someone who hated her fiancé and wanting to curse him for all eternity. She even went so far as to announce that she wanted Riley to live the rest of his life with genitals the size of ten cent gumballs.” At that, Willow let out a laugh. “To make a long story short, I stayed with her for several hours as she poured out her heart and anger. I let her stay in my motel and we talked more. During that time, she told me that she’s kind of a wanderer, not really calling any place home, she’s gone by many aliases because she doesn’t quite know what she wants to be, and through this conversation I realized she was probably the most blunt and forward person I’ve ever talked to. Something just intrigued me about her and I asked if she wanted to accompany me on the rest of my sabbatical. She said yes and we’ve been friends ever since.
“Ok, so how did you find out about, uh, her ‘voracious appetite for life and everyone in it?’” Willow laughed lightly, again relieved that Anya was just a friend and roommate.
Tara shook her head a little, remembering that fateful evening. “Um, well, I had spent most of the day at the Salvadore Dali museum in Tampa, Florida while Anya stayed at the motel. I came back late in the evening and uh, well, I kind of walked into um…”
Tara’s story had Willow captivated. “What? What? What did you walk in on?”
The blonde gulped and stammered. “Uh, well, hmm…have you ever seen the movie ‘Eyes Wide Shut?’” Willow’s eyes grew wide as she realized what Tara was inferring.
“You don’t mean…”
“Ok, maybe not on that grand of a scale, but yes, what I walked in on was quite similar to that, uh, scene in the movie, um, including masks.” Tara blushed just thinking about what she walked in on.
“My goodness, Tara…what did you say?”
“Uh, well, I kind of just walked backwards right out the door, closed it, and sat in a nearby coffee shop until finally Anya came by to check on me. Needless to say, I was a little shocked. But, by that time, I shouldn’t have been THAT surprised. I just asked her to be careful and to get a separate room when she was going to have, uh, visitors. She couldn’t believe my understanding. Then she hugged me and thanked me for not turning my back on her.” She smiled at the picture of the two of them pinned by a magnet to the refrigerator. “She called me her stabilizing influence, and the only person to stand by her, no matter what.”
Willow walked up to Tara and grabbed her hand. “That’s because you’ve got a huge heart, Tara. I can tell just from the time I’ve spent with you tonight.” She looked up at the blonde and saw the most beautiful smile gracing her vision. Willow slowly rubbed her thumb over the top Tara’s hand and simply stared for a moment.
Tara stood still for a moment, unsure of what to do, then tried placing her other hand atop Willow’s. Of course, then she realized she had the can of whipped cream she was going to put away still in her hand. Not meaning to break the moment, but doing so nonetheless, an idea spilled forth from the blonde’s lips. “Hey, Willow. Is your heart set on going to the Steamed Bean tonight?”
“Why?” Willow looked grief-stricken. The anatomy professor wanted to cancel, she just knew it. She dropped Tara’s hand. “You want to cancel, don’t you.”
Tara immediately picked up Willow’s hand to reassure the woman. “No, Willow. Goddess, no. This has been the best night I’ve had in a long, long time. I don’t want to cancel for anything.”
“Then why did you ask?” Willow broached, still not entirely convinced of the blonde’s words.
“Well, it was the can of whipped cream, actually.”
Willow blinked. “Huh?”
Tara laughed. “I remembered why I bought it. I was going to curl up on the couch with a book, some coffee, and a Karamel Sutra ice cream sundae.”
“Ok, well, what’s that got to do with me and our coffee?” Willow asked, not getting the hint.
“Well, I was wondering how’d you like to curl up on the couch, have some coffee, eat a delightfully sinful sundae and get to know each other better?”
“Oh.” She thought about it. “OH!” Willow’s face lit up with a 1000-watt smile. “Yes! That sounds great.” She calmed down a bit. “Honestly, anything sounds great as long as it doesn’t call an end to this evening.” She began unconsciously rubbing her thumb on Tara’s hand, this time over the palm.
“Great,” Tara beamed, “Karamel Sutra, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce it is.” She let go of Willow’s hands to start gathering the ingredients.
“Hey Tara?” Willow asked abruptly.
“Yes?”
“I just noticed. You lost your stutter.” She smiled at the blonde.
She gave a half-grin to the redhead as she reached into the freezer for the ice cream pint. “Must mean I’m comfortable with you.”
Willow grinned at Tara as she lowered two bowls. “I’m glad you feel comfortable around me. I want to be, you know, Tara-friendly.”
“Oh you are…very much so.” Tara closed the freezer door, grabbed the chocolate and the whipped cream and headed for the coffee table. “Come on, I got everything else. Grab some spoons in the top drawer. Time for some sundae fun.”
“I’m all about the sundae fun,” Willow responded, trailing right behind.
End Chapter 4a
~LadyB~
"I am just your ordinary...average, everyday, sane, psycho, super-Goddess." - Liz Phair, "Extraordinary"
by Washi » Sun Aug 31, 2003 9:05 pm 
Mary, that was great! And Willow is a psy professor? She should know better.
at: 9/10/03 9:12 pm
and I like that OZ already knew too. OMG Marie the poor gears 
OUCH as a car girl that hurt
lol.
LadyB,
I loved that update! 
The whole stick vs. automatic convo, double meaning much! 
and 
are very accedent prone around one another aren't they. I can't wait to 
more of this wonderfully funny fic. Update soon, please? 
They are so cute just so completely thrown, literally, by each other. But they are making progress actually going for a little coffee date. Thanks so much for this! 
Thank you very much for the compliments. They mean a great deal. I'm so glad you're enjoying the comedic aspects and are having a good laugh. That's the greatest compliment...that people laugh. I can't ask for more. However, please don't choke! LOL. I'm too far away to give the Heimlich maneuver. I will try to update as soon as I can.
I wonder if they're gonna get kinda messy with the sundae funage. 
lol! oohhh sundae fun **wiggles eyebrows** you've certainly gotten me hooked!
is that really an ice cream???