My Side

[alysagoddess85]

wow...so i just read this whole thing..i love season 4 fics...and i havent really read one yet that was just from taras POV...i like it..its nice to see her angle for once..keep up the great work!



~mel

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

[EndoraVolk]

Hey people! I'm very sorry for the delay, but I've been very busy (I have some tests real soon). The other reason/excuse for the update delay is that I think that this is the most important chapter of all, and this is the most important part. I wrote it the other day, but when I read it I didn't like it. So, I erased most of it and changed it around. I hope you guys like it and consider it "right". With "right" I mean that it fits into the story, that it's more or less believable.

Hugs!







Title - My Side



Author name - EndoraVolk



Email Address - mirror_strangers@hotmail.com



Rating - NC-17 just in case things get rough



Disclaimer - I don’t own the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' characters, they belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.



Feedback- of course, I'd like some feedback.



Summary- This fic is about the beginning of Willow and Tara's relationship seen from Tara's point of view. You could say it begins in 'Hush' and then goes on. It's mostly about things that happened "offscreen".



Notes- I'd like to thank my various muses for the inspiration. AND that I'll also continue my other fic ('Aftermath').



---------------------------



[continuation of the chapter]



I had tried to study, but I couldn’t make myself think about what was in my notes. For once, I didn’t feel like reading my magic books. My hours were spent lying stomach down on my bed, staring at the Doll’s Eye crystal. I still wanted her to have it, but I knew that it wouldn’t happen. I knew that she would avoid me, that I had scared her with my eagerness. Somehow, I had ended up doing everything wrong, everything the wrong way around and...



        There was a knock on my door. What the…? I got up, opened it and blinked. Willow! She was nervously playing with her hands and biting her lower lip. What was she doing here? I just stood there and waited.



“Hi. I… I didn’t wake you up, did I?”



        I shook my head.



“Great. You see, uh… One of my friends left with some others and… abandoned me. The irony doesn’t escape me... So, I was wondering if you’d still like to do something.”



        Right, I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t care if she was only here because her previous commitment hadn’t turned out right. She was here, she wanted to do something with me. I smiled in spite of myself and moved away, letting her in. She entered and noticed the Doll’s Eye at once, carefully taking it between her hands and studying it. Regretting my own words, I told her that I still wanted her to keep it. I think she didn’t want to hurt me again, so she kept silent and set the crystal on my desk; that way, she could freely sit on the bed.



“Are you angry?” I asked.



“Angry?” she seemed to snap out of some thoughts.



“With your friend.”



“Uh… she’s abandoning me too much lately, but I’m not exactly… it’s not anger. I’m deceived.”



“I don’t like to see you deceived, b-b-but I’m happy. That way I can see you m-m-more.”



        Did I just say that? I blushed and bowed my head, letting my hair cover my cheeks like two curtains. However, she was smiling –again- as if I was some cute puppy dog. I liked that I was able to be honest with her, no matter what we were talking about.



“And I’m happy to be here. You know, I don’t see you deceiving me. I feel always welcome here, I feel useful, even…”



“Necessary” I added, blushing again.



“Yeah. If I’m feeling bad or something, I can always come. Come to you.”



“Yes, you can.” I nodded.



“You can count on me too.”



        Then, the most strangest thing happened. She blushed too. What was happening?



“Would you like to do a spell?” she asked, hurriedly.



        I nodded, but didn’t move from my spot, beside her. There was something going on, and I wanted to know what it was. She wasn’t thinking about spells; I knew that she was trying to distract me and distract her mind. But I couldn’t be fooled, it was as if I knew her, her reactions, her array of expressions. Suddenly, the room seemed to get warmer, but it was only me. I was clueless, but interested in what was happening, because I was sure that the same thing was happening to her. She looked at me, and I was tempted to ask her why were her shiny eyes all over the place.



“I remembered a cool spell the other day…” she mumbled.



        A spell? No, this was something else. I looked down at her hand, which was gripping the bed-sheet. My hand moved towards it and touched it. It had something to do with this, with us… touching. She was looking at our hands too, and her hand let go of the bed-sheet and accepted mine. What were we feeling?



>, I thought, but she didn’t let me explore it. She let go of my hand and said something about trying the rose spell again. I nodded, although I didn’t feel like doing a spell. Like I said, I wanted to explore this. The problem was… we didn’t have a rose, and I couldn’t stop myself from saying it.



“You’re right, but we could do something else” she said, hurriedly.



“What do you want to do?”



        Willow looked at me oddly, but then shook her head and suggested that we could float something else. Okay. I stared at my desk and frowned, concentrating on a feather. If she wanted magic, she was going to get it. I had picked up that pigeon feather from the campus’ garden; it was white and very long, and it was just about all I could lift with magic… by myself, without Willow. The feather glided off the table and didn’t fall, I managed to hold it in midair, and make it travel towards us. Willow questioned me with her eyes, like asking “what do I do?”, but I wanted her to stay still. The feather moved, and I stopped it in front of Willow. Smiling, I made it tickle her nose and her jawbone. Then, it dropped on her lap. I was too tired to keep it flying any longer.



“Hey, that was neat”, she said, taking the feather and stroking it “My turn.”



        I sat back on my bed, my eyes never leaving Willow’s. The feather rose and came towards me, touched my forehead and then lowered itself, caressing my nose and my lips. Wow. It was a feather, but it was as if Willow was touching me. Willow was touching me, and no one had ever touched me like that. I felt warm again. Then, the feather dropped.



“Are you tired?” I asked her.



“A little, but I could still do something.”



        Knowing that she wouldn’t avoid me now, I moved closer and took her hand again. I pointed at my Christmas lights, and she nodded. The string of tiny light-bulbs unattached themselves from the walls and floated towards us. Willow pulled at my hand and we laid down on the bed, making the lights hover over our heads, near the ceiling.



“You first” I said.



        The string of lights began to move immediately, forming the shape of a smiley face.



“Your turn” she said.



        Alright. I frowned, and the lights formed the shape of a daisy. Then, she formed a broomstick, I formed a cat, she formed a fish. Finally, quite tired, I “told” the string of lights to form the shape of a girl.



“Hey, I don’t think I can hold this up any longer.”



“Wait, wait a sec” she insisted, concentrating and forming the shape of another girl with the remains of the string of light and making it float beside the girl I had made.



“Us”, I gasped.



        She nodded, and then let go of my hand, which made the lights fall on top of us. Panting, we giggled, and pushed the Christmas lights off the bed. Wow, it had been so great.. I turned to her, and she didn’t look panicky like before. She actually held my hand.



“More magic?” I puffed.



“No, no more magic, I’m broken. But… can I hold your hand?”



        Bliss again. A current of happiness sweeping me away. I nodded, and welcomed her hand, feeling the softness again. I thought that I could stay like that a thousand years, that I could fall asleep like that. And, in fact, I did. I fell asleep for a while, out of tiredness. I couldn’t have slept more than fifteen minutes, but when I opened my eyes Willow had drawn closer to me, and was lying on her stomach, her waist touching my arm.



“Hi” she said.



“Hi.”



“You know, I wanted to thank you for being here for me and for listening to me. And also for making me laugh and making me forget the bad times I was having.”



“It’s okay, I-I-I…”



“Hush.”



        She smiled and kissed my cheek. My eyes filled with tears at once, as if she had pushed a button. I had wondered the reason for feeling so warm, for feeling so good when we touched. This was the answer, this was what I wanted. I smiled and lifted my head to kiss her cheek. We were like little kids playing, experimenting with things, probing and trying. That’s how I felt, but I felt I was going in the right direction.



“I’m nervous”, she whispered.



“Don’t be. With me you don’t have to be n-n-nervous.” Then, I smiled “But I think I’m n-n-nervous too.”



        Her face approached mine again, to kiss my cheek once more, and I thought it would be extremely nice to kiss her cheek too, at the same time. So I turned my head a little to the left, and we ended up kissing the corners of our mouths. I froze, and she froze too. What was happening here? An alarm blared inside me. My heart, always my heart. With Willow, it was always my heart, beating so savagely that I thought it was going to be visible from the outside. Then, she pulled away several inches and trapped my hazy eyes with a questioning gaze. My hand brushed her cheek, and it was burning like a stone in the sun. <>, I thought, while her head lowered again and her lips brushed mine. <>. I opened my lips and trapped hers. <>. She opened her lips and trapped mine. <>. I stroked her hair. <>. She deepened the kiss.

       

[end of the chapter]

________________

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

[willlovestara]

Willow and Tara sitting in a tree, k.i.s.s.i.n.g! *Ahem* great update! Hannah

Edited by: willlovestara at: 9/3/04 2:00 pm

[BFR from Paris]

Excellent update!!! The magic trick with the Xmas lights, so cute!



And the kiss on the cheeks that slips... It's funny, we talked about that when I was on vacation with cousins, because in France we kiss on both cheeks to say hello and goodbye And if the two "cheek kissers" get mixed up during the "cheek approach", it can result in a "oops"

Anyway, it seems I always turn the wrong cheek

[LizPuRR]

great update!!

------------------------

i'm hot homeboy, never get it twisted!!

[The Rose24]

Awww. That was so sweet. The spells with feather and the Christmas lights were so cool.



I can just feel the tension between our ladies in this update.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[Tempest Duer]

This is so cute. I love Season 4 fics. Yay for kissage!

It's insulting to the whole gender[sic] of rap.



~Eminem

[EndoraVolk]

About the kiss on the cheek that slips, I know about that. I'm from Spain, and we also kiss like that, so I've also experienced it, lol. In fact, that's how my first kiss came about. Anyway, I'll go on with the story...









Title - My Side



Author name - EndoraVolk



Email Address - mirror_strangers@hotmail.com



Rating - NC-17 just in case things get rough



Disclaimer - I don’t own the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' characters, they belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.



Feedback- of course, I'd like some feedback.



Summary- This fic is about the beginning of Willow and Tara's relationship seen from Tara's point of view. You could say it begins in 'Hush' and then goes on. It's mostly about things that happened "offscreen".



Notes- I'd like to thank my various muses for the inspiration. AND that I'll also continue my other fic ('Aftermath').



---------------------------



Chapter 9: Involving Us

        I woke up before her, and was thankful. That way, I could evaluate everything that was and did happen. We were lying like the first night she slept over, the only difference was that her hands were on my shoulders and she was breathing on my neck. A slight but very important difference, because we had fallen asleep kissing each other. She looked in peace, relaxed, like last night when we kissed and kissed, but I had this little fear that things wouldn’t be so nice in the morning. I was afraid that this absolute happiness was going to be stolen from me.



        But Willow was being even sweeter in her sleep. She was cuddling against me, unconsciously sticking to the body of warmth that was me. At last, after a while of watching her and getting to no conclusion, she opened her eyes. She lifted her gaze up to meet mine and said nothing. I kept quiet too, wanting her to remember everything first. After a few seconds, it seemed to dawn on her, everything, and her face changed, it was serious, even worried. She looked down on her own body, and then sighed; I concluded that she was grateful for not being naked.



“What…?” she muttered, pulling away a little “I thought I had dreamed this. Tara, we… we…”



“I know” I just whispered. I didn’t want to make a scene out of it, just let things move smoothly like last night.



“You wanted this to happen?” she sat up on the bed.



“Didn’t you?” I whispered back, not moving from my spot.



“I… I don’t know! I don’t know if I can, if I’m ready to involve myself with someone!”



“Involve… Would you use that word to describe what happened last night?” I sat up on the bed to be at her level, and then stood up.



        She asked me what would I call it, and I told her that I would call it “doing what we felt”. She wouldn’t lie to me, would she?, telling me that she hadn’t felt anything… Luckily, she didn’t. Silence was her answer, so she did feel something. Last night it was as if something was pulling us together and all we had to do was comply and get closer. This regret of hers didn’t fit well in the picture.



“Look, look Tara. It’s not you, it’s not us. It’s me. I don’t know if I’m ready for this… Look, I’ve recently ended a relationship, quite traumatic, you couldn’t imagine…”



“You can always explain” I bit my lower lip and sat back down.



        So she did, beginning with the basics. She had been going out with a boy, he cheated on her, and then left. Then, she elaborated. This boy, Oz, was a werewolf. They even locked him up on full-moon nights. He didn’t cheat on Willow with another girl, but with a female werewolf, and he left to try to find himself, or something like that. It was still being hard for her to pull through, I understood.



“So, um… I’m sorry. I need some time to think about this. I still want to see you, but… you know.”



        I pushed my hands inside my pockets. Of course. I said I understood. I understood there would be no kissing or goofy smiles. No games with feathers. Willow got up, smiled uneasily and said that, well, she had to go now. Okay. I picked up the lights from the floor and coiled them around my shoulder, then, grabbed the chair. Hanging these up without help was going to be a lot harder than pulling them down with Willow. When I finished with the lights I looked down at my desk and saw that the Doll's Eye was missing. Willow had taken it, she had accepted my gift.

________________

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

[BARE1975]

De Valencia? Tía, yo soy de Barcelona!!!!



Anyway, I'm a sucker for "season 4- How did they got together" fics, and I'm really enjoying yours. As someone said before, usually We don't have the chance to see what happened with Tara all the hard time till Willow decided who she loved, maybe apart from Garner's "From the journal of Tara Maclay" (That I highly recommend, by the way)and a few more.



Keep on going with the updates



Un abrazo!



And about the kiss in the cheek that misteriously ends in the lips... Well, I know about it too, It seems it happens a lot...

[EndoraVolk]

Title - My Side



Author name - EndoraVolk



Email Address - mirror_strangers@hotmail.com



Rating - NC-17 just in case things get rough



Disclaimer - I don’t own the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' characters, they belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.



Feedback- of course, I'd like some feedback.



Summary- This fic is about the beginning of Willow and Tara's relationship seen from Tara's point of view. You could say it begins in 'Hush' and then goes on. It's mostly about things that happened "offscreen".



Notes- I'd like to thank my various muses for the inspiration. AND that I'll also continue my other fic ('Aftermath').



---------------------------



Chapter 10: Luck and Care

        It wasn’t as if I expected them, but there were no news from Willow that day. I guessed she would be with her friends, helping Buffy with demons or something. God, how difficult it was to concentrate in class while thinking about someone. Every time I looked down at my notes Willow’s face came up to meet mine. The remembrances of the kisses teased all my body, electrifying every little hair in a completely unknown way. It was like fear, but the other way around, in a pleasant way.

       

        Last night had happened exactly what I had wanted, what I didn’t know I needed, what I would be forever doing. Talking with Willow, magic with Willow, kissing Willow. There was no question anymore, just an answer. Just her. What bugged me was all this advancing and then retreating thing that was going on. Yes, I knew she had had an awful time… all I could do was be there for her. But she needed to think, she had to be the one that called.



        Her phone-call came the next day, ironically, while I was in class. When I came up to my room and saw that I had a message I just knew it was her.



“Tara, hi” the message said “this is Willow. Uh… I’m sorry I left like that. I hope we can still hang out. I was wondering if I could come over and just forget this morning.”



        The hidden meaning I grasped was: forget the kisses, don’t forget the magic. Fine. If she thought this retreat was necessary… I was happy with the simple illusion of looking at her and remembering last night. A minute later there was a knock on my door. Wow, that had been quick. There she was, staring at her feet, and then daring to look at me. I wasn’t going to hassle her, I was going to be a good girl and make her feel comfortable.



“Hi, I’ve just listened to your message. I was in class before.”



“I’m sorry about… before. I really had a lot of fun last night, with those spells.”



        I nodded, acknowledging that it had been “nice”, but letting the topic of last night go.



“You know I don’t come just for the spells, don’t you? That we… have a lot of fun with just talking and hanging out and everything…”



“Yes, I know. But I guess you want to do a spell."



        I really didn’t care what the spell was about. Whether it was a serious one or just an excuse, or a mixture of both, it didn’t matter. But Willow explained; we were to conjure goddess Thespia to… locate the demons in the area. I swallowed hard and wondered if we were ready for that. <> Unfortunately, she grunted that it was beneath us and began setting things up. Something like a map of Sunnydale. We had to conjure the goddess, then blow the potion on the map and different mists would appear, with different colors for different demon breeds.



        She smiled and asked if I was ready. <>, I wanted to say. But she was the Slayer’s best friend; Willow helped her slay evil and demons. I couldn’t tell her, but I couldn’t do the spell either. Trying to act normal, I accepted the green powder that she was offering me, watched her pour some white powder on her hand and closed our eyes. The potion, the potion… We chanted our lines, Thespia was convinced, but I wasn’t going to risk myself. When the time came, Willow blew her powder over the map, and I just sneaked my hand away and dumped my powder under the bed.



“Why isn’t it working? It didn’t even go wrong! Nothing…”



        <>. Maybe nothing would’ve happened, but I couldn’t take the risk. She stood up and frowned at the “map”, and then said something about not being able to help Buffy, that magic and her didn’t go well together.



“Don’t say that” I whispered, feeling quite bad and guilty.



“Okay, I won’t say it, but why didn’t it work? Am I too nervous or something? Now I’ll have to go back and tell Giles. We’re all sleeping at Xander’s basement, just in case. I didn’t tell you about this new half-man half-demon threat, but I…”



“You have to go.” I nodded, still feeling like trash.



“Hey, what’s the matter?” her voice softened and she came near me, placing a hand on my arm.



        In a way, this was killing me. Both the secrecy and Willow’s drawbacks and comebacks. Her hand seemed to burn my skin, and my lips were burning just with the memory of the kisses.



“I’m sorry you’re feeling like that” I mumbled “It’s all my f-f-fault.”



“Your…? No, no it isn’t. It’s me and my thinking. This confusion… I didn’t want to hurt you…”



“It’s okay, Willow, you don’t have time for this. Go with your friends.”



        She went to the door, and I went after her, opened it, let her out and was about to close it when she said:



“Aren’t you gonna wish me good luck?”



“Good luck with the monster.”



“And… take care?”



“Take care” I said, then closed the door.



        Instantly, there was a knock and there was Willow again.



“I’ll take care, I’ll come to see you tomorrow” she smiled, and then she dove her head inside the room, gave me a quick peck (as if she needed it), and left. Needless to say, I was dying for tomorrow to come, curious of what it would bring.

________________

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

[Persifore]

Hey! yo soy de Cantabria!! aunque creo que eso ahora no viene a cuento... XD



I like your fic, I loooove all the fics about season 4, I'm writting one, but in spanish because my english...



Great update



Si cierras la mano no tendras nada, pero si la abres lo conseguiras todo

[The Rose24]

These last couple of updates are pretty tense. I know things will improve soon.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[Sheba]

There's a four letter word that comes to my mind after the updates that I just caught up with...MORE!!!!!

[EndoraVolk]

Okay, another chapter for you guys



Title - My Side



Author name - EndoraVolk



Email Address - mirror_strangers@hotmail.com



Rating - NC-17 just in case things get rough



Disclaimer - I don’t own the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' characters, they belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.



Feedback- of course, I'd like some feedback.



Summary- This fic is about the beginning of Willow and Tara's relationship seen from Tara's point of view. You could say it begins in 'Hush' and then goes on. It's mostly about things that happened "offscreen".



Notes- I'd like to thank my various muses for the inspiration. AND that I'll also continue my other fic ('Aftermath').



---------------------------



Chapter 11: Comeback

        She came back twenty-four hours later, like an explosion of light inside an obscure room, talking excitedly about… faith? Faith in what? Faith in Sunnydale? What was wrong with her? I was beginning to believe that she had been the victim of some wicked spell, but then she explained that Faith was an actual person. No half-man half-monster for now; they were all concentrating in finding Faith. An evil Slayer who had been in coma for many months and had woken up revenge-thirsty? An evil Slayer that wanted to do who-knew-what to Buffy.



“We’re all searching for her” she said.



“You’re not.”



“At night I hide” she laughed “and come to you.”



“You’ll always be able to do that.”



“Thanks… Let me, let me apologize for yesterday morning, when I freaked out, and for yesterday night, when I… kissed you. I’m sorry, this kissing and then running away thing must be confusing you, and I didn’t mean it.”



        Not really. For me, things were clear. I wanted to be with her. I knew what I wanted and wouldn’t think twice if Willow’s face came close to mine. It was the redhead who needed to make up her mind; if she wanted to get over Oz, if she wanted to get over him with my help or not. I realized that they hadn’t broken up in a very orthodox way, so there was still some of the waiting factor, but she couldn’t ignore the things that had happened in this room. Those things were here, stuck to the walls, stuck to our memories. And she always came back. Always, when I thought I would never see her again, she phoned or came to my door, blabbering her cute excuses. She had kissed me yesterday, before leaving.



        Willow muttered that she would feel less doubtful if she didn’t know what she wanted. At least some sincerity. But she knew. She knew that the right thing had happened, that was why she was afraid and had retreated. I knew it since the very moment our hands had touched in the laundry room. We fitted together. It was simple for me, I had no conflicts, no Oz somewhere in the world, I had no friends to be my judges.



“I know” she said “I know that this is what I want.”



        She looked like a lost little girl. Her pout was delicious. She was trying to make me pity her and go to her, but I wouldn’t comply. If she was sure, if she wanted this, she had to be the one who took those steps towards me. I knew where I was standing, and it was so hard not to go to her and hug her… But I kept still and watched her walk, still like a little girl, towards me.



        Finally, she reached me and embraced my waist. We hadn’t ever been that close, not even with the kisses. My breast was against hers, and my stomach pressing into her stomach. Willow… I caressed her hair and felt that this time it was safe to be happy, that I could enjoy this without the fear of scaring her away.



        My hands traveled from her hair to her cheeks, and she lifted up her face. <>, I thought, and I was sure that she wanted it too. I took her lips between mine, savored them and let them go. She smiled and placed her hands on my back, pulling us closer and covering my mouth with hers. Like the night in which we held hands, I felt something surrounding us, but it wasn’t magic strictly speaking, it was just our heat. The kisses went on, growing in length and intensity, and her hands going up and down my back were driving me crazy. All those new sensations were driving me crazy. Then, I felt something warm entering my mouth. Her… tongue! I was thrilled, everything was so new, but it kept getting better and better, so I didn’t know or care when the “betterness” would stop.



        Her tongue grazed mine, making it react at once. I wanted to touch it, to investigate everything that Willow was until I knew every inch of her by memory. But Willow detached her mouth from mine and I realized that we had to breathe. We dropped heavily on the bed and panted for a while.



“You alright?” she asked.



        Without waiting for my answer, she dove into me, more or less lying on top of me, devouring my mouth again. Alright? If heaven wasn’t this, if God didn’t know about Willow’s stunning scent or the softness of her then I preferred stepping into hell. I knew this was marking the beginning of something, and I knew that Willow wouldn’t leave in the morning. She was letting herself go. I hugged Willow’s shoulders and kissed her neck. Nothing was going to take her away from me.



“Goodnight” she whispered, cuddling against me.

________________

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

[musicmad10]

Wow! Is all i'm gonna say to that! Oh and please update soon!



Luv hannah

[Sheba]

Quote:

---

If heaven wasn’t this, if God didn’t know about Willow’s stunning scent or the softness of her then I preferred stepping into hell.

---

I loved that line! I'm so glad that I logged on again to this update...this is a lovely fic...you woman, deserve a loud round of applause!

[alysagoddess85]

oooo i sooo like this fic!! yay for you!! plus the fact that you update very quickly is quite nice...I LOVE IT!! more soon please!



~mel

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

[EndoraVolk]

Title - My Side



Author name - EndoraVolk



Email Address - mirror_strangers@hotmail.com



Rating - NC-17 just in case things get rough



Disclaimer - I don’t own the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' characters, they belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.



Feedback- of course, I'd like some feedback.



Summary- This fic is about the beginning of Willow and Tara's relationship seen from Tara's point of view. You could say it begins in 'Hush' and then goes on. It's mostly about things that happened "offscreen".



Notes- I'd like to thank my various muses for the inspiration. AND that I'll also continue my other fic ('Aftermath').



---------------------------



Chapter 12: Faith in you (Part I)

        Morning. That had come too soon. If just one of all my wishes could have been granted, it would’ve been that Willow didn’t move from where she was. Her head was comfortably cushioned near my breast, her arm around my waist. Now that she was asleep her hand just hung there, but before falling asleep she had been hugging me real hard, as if she feared falling from the bed or something. Also, our legs were in a tangle. I looked down at us and considered getting Willow some extra pajamas that would stay in my room; we had to stop this habit of sleeping in our daily clothes.



        I slid my fingers through her soft hair. The way we had touched during our kisses… I mean, yes, my back has been touched before, but never caressed in that way. Or my face. My neck had not been kissed, ever, by no one. Using the same logic, I had never touched anyone like I did. Or kissed anyone like that. When I was eight or nine years old, there was a boy of my age who was my neighbor that grabbed my face and smacked his lips against mine. That had been the only thing similar to a kiss that I had ever had, and I was horrified. I didn’t understand why he had done it, or why he laughed, what pleasure did he obtain with it. However, the kisses with Willow made me understand why people did this. This mutual feeling was enough to justify anything, wasn’t it?



        To see someone wake up by my side, as Willow was doing now… I understood why people wanted to be together, you had to experience it to know it. She blinked, searched for my eyes and smiled lazily. For me, everything turned warm again.



“Hey” she yawned.



“Hey. Slept well?”



“Oh, you couldn’t imagine… it’s like I’ve never slept before last night.”



“Want me to bring you some coffee or something?”



“Tara, if you move out of this bed I won’t be responsible for my acts, understand?”



“And what if I stay?” I adored being playful like this with Willow.



“I won’t be responsible for my acts either…”



        Oh, God. She lifted her head and kissed me, still drowsily, lazily, deliciously…



“What’s today’s plan?” I asked, placing my hand on top of hers and playing with our fingers.



“I’ll have to talk to Buffy to, you know, see if she’s found Faith. If she has I’m taking the day off.”



“And if she hasn’t?” I twitched my nose.



“I guess we’ll have work then. We’ll have to search for her.”



“What we? Buffy and you?”



“No, you and me. I'm not letting go of you that easily...”



[I'll continue the chapter later. Wish me good luck on my test!! Kisses, everyone!]

       

________________

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

Edited by: EndoraVolk  at: 9/7/04 11:47 am

[The Rose24]

Awww. This is so sweet. W/T are getting closer and closer.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[VixenyTarasHot]

Dude, I haven't left feedback for this in a while.. I think I did once..? Anyways, its such a great story, and you fill in the blanks really perfectly.. and dude, gotta give you mad props for the prolificness of updatey goodness!! (Did that make sense.. meh)



But yeah, I always look forward to reading your updates and you never cease to amaze!!



Ashleigh

"...A-and I'm gonna make it up to you. Starting right now."

(Starts to smile)"Right now?"

[screeminguitar]

Wow....that was near perfect. Loving this fic..I am a sucker for the beginning romance type stories. This is really a good one. I imagined Willow acting this way because of the mess Oz left her in. I thought Willow was always the one taking it slow when it came to Tara, and you write that exactly as I thought in my head yet not able to put it down so well as you have!! I applaud you oh Kitten Board writer, THANKS.....



Keep up the purrrrrrrrfect work!!!!!

Love Marie

[tiger17]

I love this fic, I so can't wait for you to post the next update. It's so sweet, I love these kind of stories...great job



Tiger

[AntigoneUnbound]

EndoraVolk, this is wonderful stuff! I'm a sucker for S-4 canon stuff, so I was already inclined to like this. But your writing--both plot and style--is so good that it has turned this story into one of my favorites. I think it's easy to underestimate the impact of basic good grammar and spelling, as if it's too basic to concern oneself with. For me, though, it's the vehicle that takes the reader to the destinations. You may have some wonderful spots on your itinerary, but if you lack basic tools, you'll never see them. (Of course, this is coming from a woman who has a t-shirt that reads, "Does anal-retentive have a hyphen?")



On a more subtle level, I like how you're developing these characters. I've found that early Tara is often written as so debilitatingly shy that she almost seems socially autistic. But it took courage for her to move into a relationship w/ Willow, and I like your depiction of that courage in this story. Yes, she's shy, but she also has this rich inner life that makes her relative isolation feel as if it's in large part by her choice.



So...I'm lovin' this, and good luck with your test, and please do keep the good stuff coming.



Mary

[veiled isis moon]

I'm just like everyone else when it comes to season 4 cannon fics, LOVE them!! It's all new and sweet and innocent and i like the build up and the intense feelings they both experience.

I really like your style of writing and how it flows effortlessly from one line to the next. It's so easy to just get caught up in it that before i know it, of been reading for ages and its way past my bed time, but i don't mind, your fic is worth staying up for.



Can't wait for the next update.



Michelle.x

[EndoraVolk]

Hey, guys, what to say? I'm flattered. I was afraid you would find my fic monotonous, you know, but instead I read those extremely nice words coming from you. Updates will come, I also love this inocence and sweetness from the beginning, and I'm glad that you pictured the "offscreen" story like this too. Tara isn't a shy girl that doesn't talk much, she has a background, she's a very complex character that hides her strength, her sense of humor and how mature she is. But those things are there, and will come out, as all of us know.





AntigoneUnbound (I don’t know you but let me say that I love you! That’s about the nicest thing that has been said about my writing. That thing you said about good grammar and spelling touches me specially because English isn’t my first language. And also thank you for understanding my depiction of Tara as a shy person because of her background but being such a strong and brave person underneath. My test went fine! Today I have another one, but it’s the last one. Yay!)









Title - My Side



Author name - EndoraVolk



Email Address - mirror_strangers@hotmail.com



Rating - NC-17 just in case things get rough



Disclaimer - I don’t own the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' characters, they belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.



Feedback- of course, I'd like some feedback.



Summary- This fic is about the beginning of Willow and Tara's relationship seen from Tara's point of view. You could say it begins in 'Hush' and then goes on. It's mostly about things that happened "offscreen".



Notes- I'd like to thank my various muses for the inspiration. AND that I'll also continue my other fic ('Aftermath').



---------------------------



[chapter 12 continued]





This was getting better and better. I felt comfortable with her, capable of saying and doing anything, without fear of being judged, or fear of any kind. If I played with her fingers she would giggle, and I could easily read her green eyes. We had to get up eventually, and I told Willow about bringing some pajamas over to my room, which she thought was an excellent idea. “Pajamas and toothbrush”, was her answer.



“So, you gotta talk to Buffy about this evil Slayer.”



“And go to class. Then I’ll find you and we’ll do whatever. Okay?”



“Come back here if you want”, I smiled. I didn’t know why, but I liked that my room was our meeting point, where everything important between us happened. Where magic was made.



“Alright, we’ll meet up here. So, I’m off…” but Willow didn’t move from her spot “You take a shower, change clothes… why I am suddenly jealous of water and clothing…”



        Willow was a sight, and you just had to laugh at her words. She was staring at me with the deepest of looks, and I found her jealousy of everything that touched me very funny. It was funny, but it also made me feel desired, and that was too new for me, so we both blushed and muttered a “see you later”.



        Then, we both laughed at our awkwardness. We were like little kids in the playground. Swallowing our shyness, we approached each other and hugged. <> Had I just thought that? I was scandalized at myself, thinking about desire, but I did need the shower. It was getting very hot inside my own body.



“See ya” she whispered, and kissed me.



        Even if the kiss had been light, I had to bite my tongue. It was all I could do to stop me from saying something romantically stupid. That little kiss had lighted me up like a match. I hurried to my closet, pulled some clothes out, grabbed my towel, and sped to the showers.



        Later, much more relaxed, I managed to go to class and even concentrate. I had heated up in a moment, it was so new for me… I looked down at my book and tried to read; <> Willow. Just her name popping inside my head drove me crazy. <>



        The redhead was waiting for me outside my room. She hadn’t seen me yet, so I stopped and just stared. Was this the girl that I couldn’t stop thinking about? Absolutely yes. She was staring at the wall with unmoving eyes, as if she was picturing something, and it occurred to me that maybe she was thinking about me. Yes, she could be thinking about this Slayer, Faith, but just being a possibility inside her head made me happy. It made my soul grow inside my body. It made me… love her.



“Tara?” she had spotted me.



        I shook my head, trying to focus, trying not to think about the L-word. <>.



“Hi… Willow… Have you w-w-waited long?”



“Uh, no, don’t worry. We’ve got news. Buffy didn’t find Faith, so we’ll have to go searching for her. She appeared in the campus this morning, totally out of the blue.”



“Okay. I’ll leave my book-bag in my room and… l-l-let’s go.”



        Willow was thanking me about going with her to hunt down a psychopathic bitch like Faith. I didn’t mind, I was doing something helpful for her, and concentrating on going down the stairs and scanning the lounge was keeping me from other thoughts. What to do if we found her?



“Escape” Willow said, in a tone that didn’t leave room for doubt “Just run, we’re here just to recon.”



        Recon? I had to laugh at that. “Willowisms” were a treat for my ears. But of course, she didn’t know what I was laughing about. So I told her.



“Recon. As in ‘I’m a cool monster fighter and I use this big words’” I giggled again.



        She smiled, nodding, but telling me that Faith wasn’t a monster. And about the fight… she would be lucky to harm her fists with her face. Oh… she wasn’t much of a fighter. Me neither, I wasn’t good with it. I couldn’t remember ever hitting someone. I tried to punch the air, but Willow thought that I was swimming.



“No! I’m not good with... violence.”



“Oh” she said “It’s okay, we’ll see her before she sees us. She’s this mega-slut that has to be the center of all looks. She goes around saying ‘check me out, I’m so cool, I’m five by five.’” Willow mocking the gestures of a slutbomb was too good for words.



“Five by five? What does that mean? Five what by five what?”



“No one knows! She’s crazy, that’s all I know! So we’ll just look around until nightfall.”



“Then what?”



“I told you, then we hide.”



[this is going to be a loooong chapter]

________________

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

[Sheba]

...and we'll be enjoying the long-mess of it!

[alysagoddess85]

ooo thats so cute!! lol...theyre all awkward...but it probably wont last long...right??



~mel

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

[EndoraVolk]

Title - My Side



Author name - EndoraVolk



Email Address - mirror_strangers@hotmail.com



Rating - NC-17 just in case things get rough



Disclaimer - I don’t own the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' characters, they belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.



Feedback- of course, I'd like some feedback.



Summary- This fic is about the beginning of Willow and Tara's relationship seen from Tara's point of view. You could say it begins in 'Hush' and then goes on. It's mostly about things that happened "offscreen".



Notes- I'd like to thank my various muses for the inspiration. AND that I'll also continue my other fic ('Aftermath').



---------------------------



So we circled the campus several times, unsuccessfully finding Faith. We thought we saw her a couple of times, but they were false alarms; “other slutbombs”, in Willow’s words. There was no trace of her, it didn’t struck me as a surprise, but we kept playing the game of finding Faith. Spotting a “slutbomb” gave me the excuse to grab Willow’s arm and get near her to point. She also played my game, and soon she was holding my hand, squeezing it whenever she saw a Faith look-alike.



“Look! That girl, over there, she could be Faith.”



“Willow, that girl’s blonder than me.”



“And?” she huffed.



“I thought Faith was a brunette.”



        Willow fell silent for a moment, then attempted to convince me that it was a wig, half-dragging me towards the unknown girl to pull her hair. Of course, I refused, and tried to hold on to something, but there was nothing, so I sunk down to my knees, all the time laughing and shrieking. I had never laughed out loud like that in public, or made a scene. Both of us were aware of what we were doing. Willow wasn’t pulling me to go to the girl; it was an excuse to hold me by the waist and lean on my back. And, under all my silly laugh I was enjoying Willow’s contact more that I should say.



        When we got tired we went back to my room. It was like saying, “no more games”, although it had been fun. But we couldn’t deny it, we just needed each other, we needed to be with each other. I was still shaken inside, since I had thought that I loved her. I knew it was normal, I knew that people fell in love everyday, and I knew that I didn’t kiss her for fun. I kissed her because I needed her. Love? I looked into her deep green eyes. Yes, love, it had to be. It was something that had always been for others, but it seemed that it was my turn now.



        The cute redhead jumped on my bed, motioning me to go to her. I needed to tell her some way, without scaring her. But how? She just surrounded my shoulders with her arms and kissed me, melting me from inside to outside, making me forget my worries. How did she do it? Nothing, she erased everything from my mind. My problems drifted away and all that existed were her warm lips.



“You okay?” she asked, drowsily.



“Yeah, I’m great.”



        I smiled and sat up, resting my hand on her knee for a while. Again we had got all hot in a moment. My shirt and pants were killing me, but I tried to forget it. Just touching her, just feeling her knee under my hand was doing things to me. Very slowly, I dropped my hand and saw that she was just staring into space. After a while, she wondered were Faith could be. I shrugged; Buffy had to be looking for her, and she could hypothetically handle Faith.



“Yeah, but Faith could hurt someone else” she said, sitting up.



“You’re safe here… No one knows you’re with me…” I shrugged again. It was difficult to feel sorry or worried towards a group of people that didn’t know that I existed.



“Hey…” her hand was the one to pause on my knee now “come on…”



“No, I meant that as a g-g-good thing. I-i-it’s good."



“I do want you to meet them…”



        Then, she engaged in a long monologue of blabbers that erased all my huffiness. She had that ability. Using such a great number of words to explain herself, to explain a tiny concept, was so cute. I understood hers was a very close group of people that dealt with the Slayer’s “work”, of course.



“…I don’t know, I… I like having something that’s only mine.” She concluded.



“I get it, Willow.” Which was true.



“Okay…” she got up slowly and went to the phone “I’ll better call Giles to see if there’s any news.”



“Willow” my voice was tense, I couldn’t hold it inside, not after knowing that I felt love towards her “I am, you know."



“What?” she asked softly, with her hand on the phone.



“Yours.”



        It was done, I had said it. I had to say it. I raised my eyebrows, wondering if it was okay, but Willow was smiling. She approached me and embraced me. It was long and tight hug, in which I seemed to feel every part of Willow’s body crushing into mine. Completing me. Then, she went back to the phone and dialed, with cloudy eyes.



“Giles? It’s Willow… Yes, I just wanted to know if you’ve found Faith yet… No? Okay, bye.”



        With that, she hung up. Her eyes never left mine, and I was sure that she had left the poor man quite confused, but who cared? She was hugging me again, melting against me, making me feel all kinds of confusing little things. Again, it was too hot inside my room, and my head felt very heavy, trying to digest all this closeness. I felt this heat had to be released somehow, but kept quiet, even if I could read the same in Willow's eyes.



"We still haven't got pajamas f-f-for you" I managed to mumble.



"We'll manage. Just hug me, okay? All night."



[I decided to divide this chapter about Faith in two parts]

       

________________

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

[alysagoddess85]

ooo more goodness...i like their little game while walking around the campus...maybe i should try that sometime! lol...more soon please!



~mel

'The Cat in the Hat' is fine, just not during sex.--Alyson Hannigan

[tarawhipped]

Haven't left feedback in a while, so I thought I'd stop by and add my voice to the encouragement. This is so wonderful and realistic--the giddy blossoming of young love. *sigh*



And on a smut-puppy note, I can't wait to see how you handle the nether-realm spell!



-Cameron

---

What should I be but just what I am? - Edna St.Vincent Millay