TEMPUS FUGIT -- Absolute Zero (S4)

[jixer]

Hello Kittens-







That's about the best I can think after that. Buffy finding her lip gloss in Faith's hand, the battered Slayer, Tara touching Faith's mind and keeping what she saw there to herself. Then we have Willow (and Xander) who have never really dealt with what happened on both sides of the issue with Faith.



Thank goodness there's an Apocolypse coming, since they do seem to be center pieces for conversation. Of course currently that conversation might be held at a decibel level somewhere above 'polite'.





Waiting for more,



Jixer

[good2cats]

Hi,
This is a very engaging story.You produce a very fine crafted story leaves the reader yearning for the next installment.May it be soon.Thanks
Be well,Karen

[JewWitch18]

hey mel, what's going on in the lipkandyverse? are ya ai'ight, hon? is real life doing one of these numbers on you...



just wanted to check in and say I hope there might be an update soon. here is an inspirational piece of kitten art to support your creative process:



love ya,

--JW

[mollyig]

I've been meaning to read this story for ages, as I really enjoyed your previous ones, but, sadly, work did not permit. Luckily for me my work supervisor is out sick (not so lucky for him though!), so Molly got to have much fun reading this.



The premise of this is intriguing; not only do we have a pending apocalypse, an awakened Slayer, and people experiencing prophetic dreams, but also conflict in the Scoobies, and trusts having to be reformed. As with your previous work, I admire how well you describe the action sequences - makes it really easy to picture.



Thanks so much, and hopefully I can stay up to date from now on.

---

". . . and tolerance it ain't acceptance . . ." - Amy Ray

[Idgie]

I'm giving up the board for Lent starting tomorrow (I'm going to get fired for all the work I'm not doing while I read online) so this is my last chance for 40 days to let you know how much I'm enjoying this story and have enjoyed the other two. I just discovered them yesterday and managed to read all of TF S4 and the beginning of S7, as well as all of this one between then and now. So no pressure for an update (since I won't be letting myself read it for awhile) but I did want to say what a great story I think this is so far.

[Kieli]

Hey lipkandy, be a dear and email me, will you? Got a question for you.



And hey there Molls *GIANT BEAR HUG* Long time no see

Time flies by when the Devil drives.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

[topSmaI]

Hey lipkandy-



I’ve been reading this story for a while and I really love it. Sorry there’s no feedback earlier (technically I left it, but that was like months ago, and under a different name, and I already lost track of where I’m going with this)

I read and enjoyed the other two TF’s, and this one is turning out to be extremely good too.

The w/t thoughts are beautifully written- makes you feel a little like you’re there with the character. I can relate to the things you write about, even though I haven’t experienced them.



Also, I really enjoy the way you’re setting up the Buffy and Faith relationship. You’ve got the beginnings of feelings in Buffy, but also don’t just have her waving off the history of hurt between her and Faith. And the way you write Faith as a character is also very accurate, nice to read.

Plus, I really like (sorry I swear I’m almost done. Then I’ll shut up) the way you’re making Riley so understanding and flexible to the situation; it seems like what the character Riley would do and it adds another emotional conflict for Buffy, which wouldn’t be as powerful (or as difficult to write) if he was a jerk, and really suspicious, or whatever.



Anyway, just wanted to say that I’m really liking the story and also would like to thank you for writing. Looking forward to the next update



-Chelle

[lipkandy]

good god that's a lot of shake...er, wonderful feedback. I go away for a couple of weeks and well, you know the rest.



actually, RL is completely insane, but in a good way. I'm just swamped. I'm going to try my kitten butt off to have an update this weekend and I'll get to the wonderful feedback soon. honestly, I'm such a geek it takes me almost as long to write my lame comments as it does to write an update. sheesh! thanks as always for your wonderful comments. they do inspire.

xomel



edited to add: thanks to a certain Kitten's *cough* Jewwitch*cough* not-so-gentle prodding there will be an update today (Sunday) after my beta gets done dissecting it. sorry for the long delay, RL has been very time-consuming lately. also, that muse is wearing teflon or something... slippery, slippery girl, that muse. also, personal replies to your wonderful feedback-y goodness.

Edited by: lipkandy at: 4/3/04 10:37 pm

[Puff]

An update today? Woo and hoo, what wonderful news. *Sits down and waits for said update to appear*

---

So, the day started and I knew my name and had my pants on. So far, so good. Yay.
Amber Benson

[lipkandy]

hey puff! voila!



and many thanks to tinnakaren for the old norse translation. we'll see if I can get it to show up correctly. these american-centric keyboards and word processors hate old norse apparently.



edited to add *sigh* it still isn't reading the old norse right. ah, well...you get the idea anyway.



Part 10



Tara sat alone in Giles' apartment poring over a musty book on Old Norse legends. Every few seconds she would steal a glance at the door hoping for Willow, knowing that it wasn't likely or even really possible. She had gotten to know the redhead well in the past weeks and was almost positive that when in pain, she would retreat from the source for at least a few days before returning to face it.



A lot like I would…only except for the facing it part. It took me how many years to face Dad? And then I didn't really. I just ran.



Sighing she returned her attention to the tome in front of her, her gaze falling on a particularly nasty looking demon. It's horned visage brought her back to the reason for her presence in this comfortable apartment -- the demon she wasn't anymore. How ironic that the moment she was freed from her demon self, she lost the most important thing in the world to her. As if she had cast a sacrifice spell to exorcise that part of herself and ended up sacrificing her relationship with Willow. Which really wasn't worth it. If she had to choose between normal for a lifetime and another year with Willow it was no contest.



And that was another problem: how to exist as just a 'normal' girl. Her entire life, any bad or selfish thought could be blamed on her demon nature, but now there was just Tara. And the lies her family had told her, not to mention the abuse… she knew she should feel angry, but all she felt was guilty and ashamed…and hopelessly naïve. It seemed so obvious now, sitting in Giles' apartment waiting for an ex-demon and two Slayers to reappear. It seemed so obvious that it was all a terrible manipulation, a way to keep her enslaved and under her father's control. Why hadn't her mother seen it? She was an intelligent and powerful woman. Why hadn't she protected her daughter?



She didn't have time to answer her own questions as the door swung open dramatically to reveal a shivering, muttering Anya.



"Idiot mortals!" she yelled throwing up her hands before slamming the door and walking angrily toward Tara. The blonde witch couldn't help but flinch as the ex-demon threw herself into a nearby chair. "All I hear for the past months is, 'Anya, why can't you be a normal girl and make friends? Anya why can't you help out more with the boring and pointless Scoobie stuff?' and now here I am friending and helping my butt off and all he can do is cry."



That surprised her. She looked up from the book to find Anya staring at her with a pleading intensity. Xander was crying. She thought of Willow suddenly, alone and crying somewhere…without her. Without even her best friend. So much pain.



"I mean, how am I supposed to learn anything if they keep changing the rules on me every freakin' second?" the ex-demon huffed, before looking down at her hands. "And I don't like it when he cries. It hurts me and that's not fair because, hello, I'm not the sissy with the tears and the," she looked up abruptly, her eyes wide like a child. "Is that normal, to hurt when someone else cries? Or is this some sort of sexually-transmitted virus or…"



"Um, I th-think it's pretty n-normal," Tara said quietly. "If you love someone…you h-hurt when they, um, hurt."



Anya held her eyes for a moment and looked thoughtful. "Well, I wish he'd be more considerate then and stop crying so I don't have to hurt too."



"I don't think he m-meant to hurt you," she said quietly and found herself smiling at the ex-demon's unconscious display of sympathy. "It's been a h-hard day for, um, everybody."



"I blame Buffy," Anya said and waved Tara off before she could begin a gentle defense of the Slayer. "Not in an I need vengeance way of blaming Buffy, more of an it's about freakin' time she got knocked off her pedestal. I've known emperors with smaller egos! I mean, the timing definitely could have been better, but, you know, it had to happen. Of course, it would have been nice if it happened some time other than Ragnarok, but," she shrugged and picked up a nearby book.



Tara looked back down at her own book and decided it was useless. Sighing, she shut it and began sorting through another pile hoping that the discussion had ended. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to the blonde demon -- she actually enjoyed their strange discussions of the Scoobies -- but she was so drained from the spell and…everything. And they still had almost no information about the upcoming apocalypse.



"Did it hurt when Willow cried?" Anya asked and Tara looked up from her book to find the ex-demon studying her with that same child-like intensity. She simply nodded and looked down hoping to escape any further questioning. "So you do love her."



Tara nodded again and fought the tears that seemed to be hovering so close just waiting for any mention or thought of the beautiful redhead.



"I bet you two have lots of orgasms," Anya stated calmly and fixed her with another intense stare. "Probably more than me and Xander. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a Viking in the sack, but let's face it he's no lesbian."



"Um, we, uh, I think…we d-don't, I m-mean, not…" Tara began, but the heat in her cheeks was so intense she couldn't continue.



Anya's was clearly horrified by her near-admission. "You mean never?" she looked at Tara incredulous.



"No," the blonde witch squeaked before looking down at her book with great fascination.



"Well, that's just too terrible for words," Anya said sadly. "I mean, we're about to die in a frozen Apocalypse and you haven't even had orgasms with Willow?" The ex-demon shook her head and leafed through another book. "If I were you, I'd go find her and jump her."



Her cheeks still burning, Tara swallowed hard. She wasn't used to talking about sex with anyone, but it was probably the only chance she would ever get. Plus, there was something so clinical about the way Anya discussed things. There was no judgement really. Well, besides her obvious disbelief. "I, um, I d-don't think Willow w-wants that, um, with m-me…anymore"



"Yeah right. She can't even sit still when you're around." Anya waved dramatically at the air. "I mean, I thought she was going to have an orgasm the second she laid eyes on you this afternoon…wait, can you lesbians do that? Orgasm just with the looking? 'Cause that's so not fair."



Tara coughed embarrassed and closed her eyes. "No." Although she really wasn't sure about that. There had been a few times…not that she would know what that felt like. She had been told repeatedly that impure thoughts lead to the demon. "Um, Anya, maybe we sh-should," she motioned to the books and Anya rolled her eyes.



"Alright, but don't come crying to me when you're a hot and bothered ice cube with no Willow in sight."



Tara was sure her cheeks had turned an even darker shade of red as she bent over the book trying desperately to focus. After a few minutes of reading through a familiar account of the Norse legends Anya interrupted her thoughts.



"Where's this prophecy Willow thinks she found?"



"Oh, um I don't know," Tara began and glanced over at the pile of notebooks and magick books the redhead had left on the floor. Anya followed her line of sight and immediately moved to bring the unwieldy pile to the table.



Tara tried to keep her focus on the useless book in front of her. She knew it was ridiculous, but it seemed like a violation of Willow's privacy to be leafing through her work. Especially after their flirtatious conversation the night before and all the redhead's talk of Carl 'fondling' her own notes.



"Okay, this is about physics or something. Who cares?" Anya said irritably and dumped the open notebook unceremoniously in front of the blonde witch. There was a definition of 'absolute zero' written in Willow's careful, precise handwriting. 'The theoretical lowest possible temperature at which all atomic motion ceases' and the word 'impossible! See quantum mechanics!' written in excited script nearby. "She's your girlfriend. Where would she put the prophecy stuff?"



"She's n-not my, um girl…"



"Whatever. Okay, where would Willow, who has naughty thoughts about you all the time, put the translation…"



Tara pointed at a few crisp green sheets of paper sticking out of the ancient, crumbling pages of another magick book. "There," she said out of desperation hoping to stop the agonizing and embarrassing monologue.



The ex-demon pulled the ancient book from the stack and smiled as she opened the brittle pages. Tara tried to look interested in the book in front of her and Willow's notes as Anya shuffled through the green papers.



"Aha! See!" Anya pointed at something written in the margin and the blonde witch's face heated up as she realized it was her own name written in big pink letters surrounded by little hearts. "Naughty thoughts! I bet she had an orgasm while she was writing…"



Tara thought it might actually be possible to die of embarrassment. "Is that her t-translation," she dared to interrupt hoping that it would distract the ex-demon from her excruciating line of discussion. She could just make out the curves and lines of Old Norse through the backlit paper in Anya's hand.



"Oh, yes!" Tara watched her eyes scanning the translation line by line, a small frown forming as her head tipped to the right. "Okay, see," she pointed at something on the page, "this is what I'm talking about. Sloppy, just sloppy," she shook her head and Tara moved to see what she was pointing at. "I only grew up speaking Old Norse, but do they ask me? No. Nobody asks the ex-demon anything," she continued to shake her head as the blonde witch scanned the page. Anya's finger was under a section Willow had obviously worked on a great deal. The papers were actually xeroxes of the ancient pages in the book before them and the redhead's translation was written in small letters above each line, except the space above Anya's finger which had been crossed out and re-written several times. Two words were circled in Old Norse: óklara›r galdr. It was familiar enough, but Tara couldn't be sure of the meaning from the context. Arrows lead to the margin where notes were scribbled in erratic script 'broken spell' and 'spell of breaking' as well as 'spell of unbinding'.



"See, this is what you get when those two work on a translation. They're both so literal." Anya held up the other sheets of paper which were covered in possible translations and notes about spells of unbinding and breaking. "And anal." She said rolling her eyes. "Your girlfriend really needs to get laid."



Tara began coughing and the ex-demon helpfully patted her on the back as she returned to her chair.



"So, what d-do you think it means?" Tara asked when she could finally speak.



"It's obvious isn't it?" Before the blonde witch could begin to answer Anya continued. "They're talking about a broken spell." The ex-demon looked thoughtful for a moment. "Or actually, an unformed spell. You know, someone or probably several someones started a spell and didn't close it properly either intentionally or accidentally and presto," she made a dramatic motion with her arms. "Big, energy-sucking open-ended nightmare!" her satisfied smile almost made Tara smile herself, but there was still the problem of who would have done such a thing and why.



"But that w-would have to be a, um, a p-powerful spell, right?" Anya nodded absently as she continued to study the paper in her hand.



"See, and that," she pointed at something else on the page. "right there. They're talking about pure, untouched snow here, not virgins! Sex on the brain I tell you," she raised her eyebrows at Tara and the blonde witch rolled her eyes automatically at the ex-demon's voracious appetite for sex talk.



"But there's no c-coven around her powerful enough to do that," she said carefully.



"Well, it's got to be you and Willow, obviously," Anya continued without looking up.



Stunned, Tara could only stare at her for long moments as she processed this information. But they had only cast simple spells. Low-level spells. Nothing of this magnitude. Nothing that could create this sort of energy rift. "But w-we didn't c-cast anything…wouldn't it, um, have to be a r-really powerful spell?" she knew the answer, but hoped her questions might prod the insecure demon into another helpful revelation.



"Willow doesn't need you, you know. She could have done it herself." Tara frowned down at the notebook in front of her, Willow's handwriting smiling back up at her. She knew the ex-demon didn't mean to hurt her, but her words cut deep. Maybe Willow had cast another spell without her. A dangerous one.



No. I would have felt it. We're connected now.



"I would have f-felt it," Tara admitted. Anya appraised her with a smirk and the blonde witch ducked her head in embarrassment waiting for the innuendo, but it never came.



"Did you perform any, you know, sexy joining spells? Those can be pretty powerful, combining energies and all." Tara's head snapped up and Anya raised her eyebrows suggestively.



"I, um, no. We, um, h-hadn't gotten that…far." The ex-demon crossed her arms and just stared at her for what seemed like an hour



Finally she shrugged and dropped the pages on the table. "Well, Willow did something to set this off unless some huge magical Big Bad rolled into town without anyone noticing."



Something was pulling at Tara's psyche, a memory just out of reach. She reviewed the spells she and Willow had cast, going over each carefully to make sure they couldn't have set the Apocalypse in motion inadvertently, but there was nothing. Just the rose-rocket spell gone awry and the fairy lights spell.



Which, technically, was unfinished because Willow felt your evil demon self through the connection and withdrew.

But I'm not a demon…



So why had Willow pulled back? Tara shook her head in confusion. She had always assumed Willow had pulled out of the spell because she sensed the demon in her.



But that wasn't important right now. She had to concentrate on the apocalypse and that spell was just a minor one. Nothing on the order they were discussing.



Still, something about it was bothering her. She couldn't remember the actual spell and she didn't remember Willow bringing an actual book with her, just some notes. She remembered the alterations to the locator spell and felt her forehead tighten. In fact, a couple of the spells they had performed recently were from Willow's notes. Tara frowned. Maybe Willow had performed a spell and she just hadn't noticed. Had confused it for attraction or something else.



Those dreams.



Before she could gather her thoughts, the door to the apartment burst open. Buffy rushed in carrying a badly beaten brunette in her arms wrapped in Giles' tweed jacket and the Watcher followed close behind.



Faith. She knew with absolute certainty it was the other Slayer. She shivered at the terrifying and disjointed memories they now shared.



"Put her in my bedroom Buffy. There are extra blankets in the linen closet." The Watcher pulled his glasses and a cloth from a pocket and began the now-familiar cleaning ritual. There was a bruise forming under his left eye and she wondered suddenly if Willow was okay.



"You look terrible," Anya said without a hint of concern.



"Thank you Anya," Giles said coolly before carefully putting on the glasses. "Riley has a concussion. We took him to the Initiative. I feel certain they can give him the medical attention he needs." He frowned at the floor for a moment, obviously lost in thought, before returning his attention to the room.



"What about the half-dead Slayer?" Anya asked. "Is she going to wake up because I want to be here when she does to make sure she understands that Xander's penis is off-limits."



The Watcher took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "Yes, Anya, Buffy believes she will wake up within the next few hours although I daresay her wounds are so severe your warning won't be necessary."



Anya just nodded as if his answer were satisfactory and returned to Willow's notes.



"Is F-Faith going to be alright?" Tara asked carefully and Giles regarded her thoughtfully for a moment before answering.



"Most probably, although we have no way of knowing what long-term affect the drugs they gave her will have." He frowned and she wondered what horrific scene they had found on the docks. Enough to make the hardened Watcher introspective. "Otherwise, Buffy feels sure her Slayer healing should take care of her injuries with a few days' rest."



"And thank you for your help in locating her," he said with a soft smile. "I'm not sure we would have found her in time otherwise," his smile faded slightly and he added almost in a whisper. "It seems I underestimated the connection they share as Slayers."



Connection they share…Willow.



Tara shivered as the words echoed in her mind. She couldn't seem to shake the feeling that it was all tied together somehow: the intense dreams they all shared, the connection, Willow and the spells. But the details eluded her. As she concentrated, running through the events of the past few days, thoughts of Willow sidetracked her train of thought. Willow alone and in pain. She owed the redhead an explanation at least, but she was stuck here with all of the useless books in the freezing cold room.



"You know, your translation isn't terrible, but this," she pointed at the circled words on the translation "is not a spell of unbinding or breaking, it's an incomplete spell," the ex-demon interrupted her thoughts and she heard the Watcher shift in his seat.



"Really?" Mr. Giles voice regained its formal tone. "Well, that's quite interesting. It would require a very powerful spell to create this sort of instability."



"Exactly! Which is why it has to be Willow!" she exclaimed confidently.



"But…" The Watcher began and Tara remembered their conversation earlier about Willow's power. He was studying her now intently as if he were remembering as well. "Tara, has she performed any spells of this magnitude?"



"I,uh…" she began and trailed off shaking her head. No. It was impossible. But it was the only possibility they had right now. "I think I really need to see her. Now." she said suddenly and began gathering her things.



"I'll take you." Giles said and she tried to think of an excuse. Because she needed to speak to Willow alone. This wasn't a Scooby thing even if it was about the end of the world; it was a Willow and Tara thing. Somehow she knew it had everything to do with the connection they shared. It belonged to the two of them and she didn’t want to talk about it in front of anyone else.



"No, I'll take her. I want to go home and have sex with Xander," Anya said and grabbed her things. "I mean, Tara and Willow shouldn't be the only ones having pre-apocalypse orgasms."



"Oh, dear lord," Giles said closing her eyes and Tara thought her face would catch fire. At least she didn't have to make any excuses.



She picked up the green sheets of paper and folded them carefully into her bag.



"I'll c-call you if I, um, f-find out anyth-thing," she said, ducking behind her hair again.



"Please do," he said softly and turned to begin the long process of searching through the giant pile of books for clues. Tara took a deep breath to center herself and followed the ex-demon into the freezing cold night to find Willow. If nothing else, they would be together when the end came and the world and everything in it came to rest finally at absolute zero.



***



"Stupid taxis," Willow muttered and checked her watch again. It had been almost an hour since she called the car service to find out what was taking so long. They had given her some excuse about the cold and the cars not starting and when she called backed there had been no answer at all. She sighed and resumed pacing to keep warm.



This was ridiculous. The lobby was freezing and her hands were two different temperatures. The pink mitten-covered one was toasty and warm while the sock-covered one was numb with cold. She tucked the freezing cold appendage into her jacket pocket and sighed. The lobby was empty. All of the students had gone home or were tucked inside down comforters and sleeping bags in their rooms. She could see the orange flicker of a fire just outside the dorm. Someone had started a bonfire in the quad using furniture and wood from god-knows-where for fuel.



Eyeing her luggage and the empty lobby, Willow finally decided it was time to get warm. Grabbing her backpack full of clothes and her laptop, she made her way out into the snow and extended her hands to the warmth of the flames.



It was the first time she had felt any warmth in days and she sighed with relief as her sock-covered hand slowly warmed. The fire smelled awful and judging from the green flames mixed in with the orange and yellow she was pretty sure that some of it was toxic, but she didn't care.



We're all gonna die in the apocalypse anyway. Who cares about a little cancer.



Her smile lasted only moments before her thoughts drifted to her friends who were probably gathered around Giles' apartment poring over books to find a way to stop it.



If Faith didn't kill them all already.



Xander would be cracking stupid jokes, Anya would be making rude, inappropriate comments and Buffy would be bossing everyone around and getting all impatient.



That brought a rueful smile to her lips. And Giles. Giles would be all frowny-faced and serious as he tried unsuccessfully to get them all to concentrate on the world-ending horror waiting just outside.



And Tara. Tara would be there now, freezing in that little apartment while she went through those musty books looking for clues, looking for the key to an ancient prophecy of cold and fire. She wondered suddenly if they had found her notebooks. Maybe her notes would help in some way even if she wasn't there to be all research girl.



Turning to warm her backside, she stared into the black that seemed to entomb the small fire and shivered. Tara. She finally let herself think about the blonde witch again, the hurt in her eyes.



She thought she was a demon. What kind of family lets someone as special as Tara think they're a demon?

Hello, your own mother tried to burn you at the stake.



So, maybe that was the family thing Tara had needed to work out on her own? Willow sighed in frustration. She needed more facts and by leaving she had made absolutely sure that she would never get them. Turning back to the fire she extended her hands again to warm the sock-covered fingers.



Because Tara will never forgive me for being such a poop-headed, whatever-I-was. I didn't even give her a chance to explain. Stupid mouth that never shuts up.



What kind of a girlfriend am I anyway? All accusing and hardheaded when poor Tara was trying to explain. But who could think with Buffy being all 'you have to rescue slutty slutty, evil Faith who tried to kill you' and Tara hugging Anya. Anya! What was up with that, anyway? I am the only person who should be hugging Tara…



"Willow?"



Hugging and kissing and all the other stuff in those naughty dreams and what was up with those anyway? Buffy said she was having dreams too. I wonder if they're…



"Willow?"



The sound of the familiar soft voice made her freeze in place, every muscle locked because she shouldn't be here. That voice belonged to someone who should be a mile away in Giles' apartment reading about Ragnarok and guys with ice wands.



But she's here, right behind you and you're going to have to turn around someday. I mean, it's not like she can get in front of you with the bonfire and everything.



Slowly, Willow turned, sure that Tara's face would be angry and hurt, or worse, Faith would be standing there with a knife to the blonde's beautiful, pale throat. But it was just Tara, beautiful, graceful, smiling Tara, her head ducked and a half-smile on her lips as she just… stood there. Her hair was golden and glowing, lit by the fire



"I, um," the blonde began and stopped, nodding to herself as if she had just made a decision. Willow knew she should say something, should begin a lengthy explanation about her actions earlier, but her tongue seemed to be as frozen as the rest of her. Time seemed to have stopped altogether except for the slow movement of Tara's hand as she reached into her pocket for something. "Sorry, for everyth-thing. Really s-sorry." She mumbled and looked down and Willow was sure she shouldn't be thinking that the blonde was absolutely gorgeous at that moment. She should be thinking about the hurt and the secrets. "I think this is, um, yours?"



Tara is sorry?



No one ever said sorry like that to her. They all sort of acted like nothing happened when there was a fight or an argument. If there was a 'sorry' it was usually a sort of joking, offhand sorry, not a sweet, mumbled, heart-felt sorry.



Somehow in the past minutes by the fire, Willow had convinced herself that she was the one to blame for the entire episode at Giles', but here was the beautiful blonde apologizing to her. Here. So someone had followed after her, even if it had taken a while. And more than that, she was holding something out to Willow. Something pink.



She knew she should be frowning or even crying, but Willow felt a familiar smile on her lips before her brain even processed what Tara was holding out to her: her pink mitten.

Edited by: lipkandy at: 4/4/04 11:27 am

[lipkandy]

and the generous feedback I never responded to"



tempered cynic I'm glad someone else likes a good old-fashioned love story. and I figured b/f deserved one too.



jewwitch

Quote:

---

we already knew this wasn't gonna be a hop-in-the-sack story for, well, anyone, but especiaslly for buffy & faith, cause they're just really getting into that part of their relationship in the S7 world of TF, to which this is a prequel (arguably also a sequel, but yunno-- it takes place earlier in the chronology).

---

I'm so psyched you remember things like that. makes me very



jixer yeah, I think the apocalypse is actually, for once, the last thing on everyone's mind...which I'm kind of enjoying.



good2cats wow! and thanks. I really needed that



mollyig welcome back! and sorry you just started reading again and I took an extended (involuntary break). hopefully things are rolling again.



Idgie wow again! I can't believe you read it all in one stretch thanks so much for posting.



topsmal hey chelle!!! thanks for posting (and don't ever apologize for it). you're spot right? I really dig your fics as well. and I agree on Buffy/Faith. they have a LOT to work out and it's going to be easy. also, Riley...heh. it's such a struggle for me because I really don't like his character, but *sigh* as much as I want him to, he just won't be an out and out jerk. poor guy, he's just clueless and totally out of his league. thanks again.



and thanks to all the kittens for your patience and for reading!!



xomel

[tinnakaren]

so using ð doesn't work? (using HTML) I would have thought replacing that with ð in the text would generate the icelandic letter ... huh? Anyway loved the update. I've realized that there are a few authors who leave me speechless after each update, and all I can say is 'wow' and you're one of them, so .. wow



edited because ... gahh .. ezboard did do a switcheroo on my html code .. & eth ; (no spaces) should produce ð

--------------------------

Tinna Karen

-tölvunörd í fyrsta ættlið

Edited by: tinnakaren at: 4/4/04 11:55 am

[Puff]

Ok so there are not actually words to describe how wonderful this update was so I shall try very poorly. I loved the interaction between Tara and Anya. You write them both so well and many of the lines that Anya said cracked me up, I especially liked the part when they were talking about Xander crying and how it hurts you to see someone cry if you love them. I think I actually blushed for Tara at one point with all of Anya's talk about sex. The more I read about Tara the more I admire her. Here is a girl that flinches at any sign of anger (even Anya walking into a room angry) and yet she willingly goes up against the bad things and see's the fighting that goes on. I can't wait to read about any interaction that she has with Faith, I think that will be very interesting. An woo hoo because she took Willow's pink mitten back to her. And can I just say that I love the fact that Willow has pink mittens and not gloves I am so excited about reading what happens next between Willow and Tara and all of the other characters. This story is just brilliant. Thank you Lipkandy.

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So, the day started and I knew my name and had my pants on. So far, so good. Yay.
Amber Benson

[justin]

That was a great part



So Tara and Anya have figured out the cause of the big freeze. And, yay, Willow and Tara are back together (well almost).



Looking forward to more

Postel's Prescription: Be generous in what you accept, rigorous in what you emit.

[JustSkipIt]

Hey LipKandy,

Most sincere thanks for the awesome update! My favorite part of this one is the entire interaction with Anya and Tara. Much as Anya is the caricature here as many other places, she’s at least the honest one and the one who is right on target. She’s the one who sees the connection (and love and lust) between Willow & Tara. I have to say that I like her better in this update than in any other part of any other piece of fan fic that I have read (and that’s a pretty good amount).



And then Willow! Awesome depiction of her cold. Absolute zero! I love that when Tara shows up, Willow can only think how beautiful she is. So touching and of course Tara has Willow’s mitten! Great job and thanks for the update.

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"Your little will can't do anything. It takes Great Determination. Great Determination doesn't mean just you making an effort. It means the whole universe is behind you and with you - the birds, trees, sky, moon, and ten directions." - Katagiri Roshi

[Sean Gaffney]

Very nice part as always. I did like the Tara and Anya conversation, though I thought there might have been a few too many orgasms in there. One of the dangers of writing Anya is to fall back on orgasms, so I like to see them kept to a minimum.



Other than that, the usual great job. You write a terrific Tara, very realistic and with faults (very important for someone like Tara, who is far too easy to write as the all-understanding all-knowing sympathetic Earth Mother).

[pipsberg]

I can't wait for the next part... hanging on every word here!!

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[Tempest Duer]

Wow, this is a fantastic story. Wait, I say that every time I leave feedback, don't I? You write Tara really well, you really capture every essence of her insecurity and kindness and so many other things. I just want to protect her... and all it is is words on a computer screen. You're a great writer.

Saying that up is down will not make up, down.



~Gene Burns

[JewWitch18]

frikkin'-A! yay update! so good to see my favorite series back in action



so, as usual, you have nailed the interaction between tara and anya. so perfect! the combination of brash anya and her childlike innocence, and shy early tara, is an interesting crucible indeed. anya's manner sort of forces tara out of her comfort zone, and at the same time she makes it sort of safe by her fundamental lack of judgement. this is good.



and I loved anya's translation of the text, and the play on semantics there-- so perfect. when I read it I felt like smacking my head in an "of COURSE!" sort of way. I felt just like tara-- the why-didn't-I-see-it-before kind of way. of course willow would argue the theoretical impossibility of absolute zero in her freshman physics class; she probably knows as much about quantum mechanics as the professor.



of course, I am still on edge...I wanna know what's up between buffy and faith now. there seems to be an opening for a lot more intimate moments between them, with faith being so helpless right now...what a key, turning-point place they are in. they both want to trust each other so badly, I think it must be time.



OK, I think that's all I have to say right now. we are just finishing up our passover cleaning here, and I think we're gonna have a party on the roof to finish all the beer before we bring in the passover dishes and stuff. yay! social justice and matzah ball soup, baby!



five elephants for update happiness:





love, JW

[jixer]

Hello Kittens-



Much happiness! An update, and what an update at that! The mix of magics back and forth through time and those memories are just beyond Tara's grasp, and it fits. Anya and Tara fit in a most surprising way. Tara's concern that her long time excuse of the demon has been kicked away and now she has to face the bad parts of her as being part of the whole. Willow at the bonfire and the pink mitten reunion.



That's just some of the highlights. It was a joy and now I want more, of course!





Jixer

[Modjadji]

Wowie wowie wow.



*removes delurking cloak of shame*



Been reading this for a while now, but not posting to pour out gratitude half as much as I should be. This entire fic is wonderful, so perfectly balanced between the worlds of fanfic and published fiction that it manages to satisfy both audiences effortlessly. You provide perfect characterization and fulfill the eternal Pens promise: that Willow and Tara will always find each other, and yet never lose the driving force and tension which makes all your fics so special. In other words, you manage to give us what we as readers want and what we need, a skill and his cronies never quite mastered.



On to the updates. Part of what I really liked about the last couple of updates (and I liked a lot of things about them) is that I really could see where every single character was coming from based on their experiences and general outlook on life. It made all the line-in-the-sand-drawing much harder to read, but also much more effective. I don't think there was an unnecessary action in the whole piece - every character had motivation aplenty for their choices.



Also, on a lighter note, the mitten thing. Absolutely gorgeous. A very snuggly reminder that W/T really do fit each other like a jigsaw puzzle. On which note, some of Anya's suggestions about our girls jumping each other before the world ends are starting to sound tempting, much as I love the long-winded buildup You just write them so shy and undercover-vixeny. I blame you entirely.



Buffy/Faith. Gotta love it. Their more 'brazen' personalities make an interesting counterpoint to the more subtle, ethereal and yet equally stunning relationship developing between Willow and Tara. It's going to be great to see their relationships develop side-by-side in the future.



Adore Anya. In fact, adore everything. You name it, I adore it. This is becoming redundant and stalkery, so I'll stop now.



Faith(+buffyandwillow+tara4eva)fully,

mo.

No matter how short life may seem, it's still the longest thing you'll ever do.

[topSmaI]

Lipkandy- Yay! Update!

Sooo great, again. I’ll admit I’ve been sitting at the computer for about 5 minutes just trying to figure out what all the clues about the spell add up to but… I tend to be pretty clueless until everything’s laid out in front of me.

Yeah, I’m Spot. But if anybody who sounds slightly parent-ish asks don’t tell. That would be bad. Thanks about my fics, and sorry I never got to reply to the feedback you left on there; if anything is posted on there under this name I’d be dead, so I can’t now…

Anyway, such a great chapter. I totally love Anya. I was grinning at the computer screen the entire time.

‘. "And anal." She said rolling her eyes. "Your girlfriend really needs to get laid."’



And Yay again! Things are looking good again for W/T!



Thanks!



-‘Chelle

[lipkandy]

wow! I'm always shocked by the Kittens' amazing generosity.



tinnakaren hey! thanks for all your help, I think the problem is that I'm using the ezCodes version, not HTML. got in the habit long ago and I'm too lazy to break it. thanks as always for allowing the semantics play in a language I don't even speak.



puff hey and phew!! so glad you liked. and I love Anya, especially with Tara. and I love the idea of these two 'ex-demons' with completely different personalities who can help each other in a way no one else can. no one else is as direct as Anya and none of the other scoobies are as accepting as Tara. and

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And can I just say that I love the fact that Willow has pink mittens and not gloves

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LOL. so do I. then again, she's Willow, she'd HAVE to wear pink mittens, wouldn't she?



justin thanks! and yes, Anya and Tara have almost figured it out, but there's a piece missing as usual. I wonder what that could be?



justskipit thanks! and, is it just me or does writer's block seem to be going around? hmmm, maybe it's winter. I'm glad you're liking Anya, she's such a great character. I love that she can be blunt and grating (and a perfect foil for Tara) and also incredibly, wonderfully innocent all at the same time. props to emma caufield. and the mitten I couldn't help giving our girls a Cinderella moment. plus, the image of Tara as the supershy 'prince' handig over willow's other mitten kept haunting me.



seangaffney too many orgasms??? heresy! actually, you made me so paranoid that I searched back through my other TFs to make sure my Anya wasn't 2D and uber-orgasmic. I was relieved to see that she doesn't say 'orgasm' once in any other place (she thinks it a couple of times). the reasons I let her cut loose here are:1. she would feel it's her duty to help her shy 'new' friend with her total lack of sex life 2. as soon as she noticed it made Tara uncomfortable (or anyone), she'd really go for it -- she is Anya after all. thanks!



pipsberg Thanks and I'm glad you're hanging in there. sorry for the long drought/



tempestduer always enjoy your feedback! and I love Tara too. she's a little more difficult for me to write because my mind tends to work like Willow's, but I love 'watching' her scenes unfold and seeing how she's going to deal with the Big Bad, magic or -- heaven forbid -- Anya. I wish I could be more like Tara.



KiwiAlcyone hey, fancy meeting you here!! I'm always amazed when anyone takes on this monster. it's a big investment I know so thanks for taking the time to read it and to give such great feedback.

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I'm really enjoying the glimpse into Tara's research about her 'demon' side. I always wondered why Tara had been so convinced that she was a demon and you've answered it nicely.

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actually, the great thing about Pens is that there's a lot of 'history' to draw from. I've been inspired by a lot of other writers' take on this particular issue, plus who can resist trying their own version? it's such an incredible story that ME never chose to tell.

anyway, I'm babbling. I hope to have an update up in the next week, but the muse is slippery these days.



jewwitch hey girl! you know this is all down to you, right? I had about ten pages lying around for the past month and kept thinking they weren't good enough (witchpunk is rolling her eyes at me) and I get a sweetly demanding email from your bad self.

I'm getting a real kick out of letting Anya cut loose and be the expert here, which is apparently, all she ever wanted (or so she tells me): to be recognized for her VAST experience and knowledge.

as for b/f -- hehe. I'm gonna have to be all evil and not give any clues. althugh

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I wanna know what's up between buffy and faith now. there seems to be an opening for a lot more intimate moments between them, with faith being so helpless right now...what a key, turning-point place they are in.

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yeah, there's just all the hard stuff to get through. I'll be drawing on some personal experience on this one and diverging dramatically from the show. I had a friend who was in a coma for a long time and I think Faith may be affected by her injuries here considerably more than she was on the show. which is going to push Buffy to the proving ground again.

also, HAPPY PASSOVER!!!!!!



jixer thanks! and yes, I'm loving the Anya, Tara moment right now. and what's a poor non-demon girl to blame when she has naughty thoughts now?



modjadji and wowie wow! to you too! that was some amazingly articulate feedback. thank you. I worry sometimes that I'm not fanfic enough, that I get too bogged down in plot and story (and other characters) to give W/T the attention they deserve. it's nice to know you noticed and feel I've gotten the mix right. (I feel like a chemist sometimes).

and I love your take on the 'line-drawing' that's going on. because, they're all right -- well, I think they are -- and that's the interesting part. do you grow as friends and build a more complex, interesting relationship or do you get stuck in the past and become self-absorbed, bitter and jaded and eventually drift apart emotionally? for me, this was where the show started to slowly build up toxins. they couldn't just let these characters be complicated and still love and support each other. and I'm babbling

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On which note, some of Anya's suggestions about our girls jumping each other before the world ends are starting to sound tempting, much as I love the long-winded buildup You just write them so shy and undercover-vixeny. I blame you entirely.

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LOL. that killed me. my thoughts exactly. the naughty dreams, no more demon to worry about, no roommates -- what's stopping them? except that whole apocalypse thing

also, your feedback -- so not stalkery. I adore every word of it.



topSmaI ouch! I'm sorry about your parents. I can take your old name out of the feedback at the top of the page if you want. I know how awful parents can be on this subject...believe me. just let me know. and don't worry about not responding to feedback in your old thread. I totally understand.

and I think you have incredible talent. amazing that you're in high school. keep writing. let me say that again so I'm sure you hear it clearly: keep writing. and writing. even if you can't post it here.







good god that's a lot of words! I don't usually use so many words to say so little... or something.



thanks again everyone for writing and reading!!!



xomel

Edited by: lipkandy at: 4/5/04 5:52 pm

[TemperedCynic]

Poor Tara, stuck looking for clues to Ragnarock, thinking about her redhead and facing an insatiably curious Anya. Laugh-out-loud funny!! Anya is the best character to make even calm and sedate people uncomfortable as hell. Yet Anya is the only person willing to discuss intimate feelings. All of this comedy and a vital story clue is almost overlooked. Almost. This gives Tara the courage to find Willow, something she's wanted to do for hours. This should be a very interesting conversation. Here's hoping RL calms down.

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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen (1935 - )

[mollyig]

You write Anya so well. I could actually picture her while she was on one of her many tirades. It seems she does have some useful information though. This unformed spell sounds as if it needs to be stopped.



So happy Tara sought out Willow, and not just so Willow can get rid of the sock a.k.a. pseudo-mitten Our girls need some time alone to talk, they're still not quite ready to believe they deserve each other.

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"Love is just like breathing when it's true" Indigo Girls

[JustSkipIt]

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is it just me or does writer's block seem to be going around? hmmm, maybe it's winter.

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Could be that. Seems more like RL issues for most writers which I'm not sure is a necessarily bad thing. I mean we want updates but sometimes everyone is busy with good RL stuff and that's exciting.

[WintersDreamer]

HEY!!!





It's been 17 days since you updated.....whats ya trying to kill me?!?!?!?!





*UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE*



PPPPPPPLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!



I'll whine....

[JewWitch18]

second!

I'm having one of those headaches...with pictures...a thought!

--Frye, Futurama

[lipkandy]

hey Winter's Dreamer and Jewwitch! I know, I know...I'm working on it. RL has been a little tough and, well, actually, Buffy and Faith aren't being very cooperative. they both have their own ideas about where the next part is going and they don't exactly mesh with my ideas so we're working on a compromise. although, slayers don't really understand the meaning of that word.



Tempered Cynic

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Anya is the best character to make even calm and sedate people uncomfortable as hell. Yet Anya is the only person willing to discuss intimate feelings.

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exactly! and Tara definitely needs that right now. Anya is kind of the perfect friend for her. Drawing and/or forcing Tara out of her shell. not to mention talking frankly about sex while the other Scoobies stick to euphemisms. and, yes. there will be LOTS of talking with willow and tara.



mollyig thanks! I'm glad you're liking Anya because I can't help it, I love the girl. the unformed spell is definitely dangerous and in need of...something.

I agree on these two needing to realize they 'deserve' each other. it won't be much longer.



justskipityes, RL can be exciting I just wish it would get out of the way sometimes or, wait. maybe I don't.



I'm hoping for an update early next week. Jewwitch would you please have a word with Faith and tell her to get her belligerant, hot-as-hell ass into gear? she doesn't want to listen to me. even though, hello!, I'm working my butt off here to make sure she gets redeemed and even (eventually) gets the girl. *sigh* back to herding cats.

[lipkandy]

Part 11 - Awakenings

I'm a junkyard full of false starts

and I don't need your permission

to bury my love under despair

--coming up roses, elliot smith



Buffy paced back and forth in the small floor space of Giles' living room, while the Watcher flipped through yet another big leather-bound book. It all seemed so useless and ridiculous. They only had two hours until the big event -- if it even was the big event. The Initiative had been wrong before. Not to mention that it was the Hellmouth and a strong magical signature could be almost any random wannabe Big Bad trying to prove themselves.



I've got some serious wiggins. Of course, that could be the freezing cold… or the fact that Faith is only two rooms away.



They had bandaged the more serious cuts, but the majority of the injuries were deep bruises from the beating. Buffy knew from experience that these would heal quickly, but that still left the question of other, invisible injuries. She was fairly sure there was no internal bleeding even though she hadn't found the nerve to check under the hospital gown, but there was still the question of the old injuries and how they would effect the Slayer. There was no way of knowing and she couldn't exactly ask Faith's doctor so there was just the waiting. If they survived the big Rag thingy.



Buffy sighed and sat down across from Giles, opening a book on demonology at random. Her eyes focused immediately on an etching of fairies, flitting happily in a spring scene full of flowers. It was so ridiculously out of place she almost laughed. One of them looked remarkably like Willow and she felt the smile fade from her features, her forehead tightening into a hard frown.



According to Giles, Tara had gone to find Willow about some lead on the Ragnarok spell and she found herself feeling sort of jealous. She should be out there comforting her best friend instead of not really helping with the research. Besides, if she apologized, maybe Willow would help and it would be like old times with the jokes and…



Yeah right. This isn't one of those times when you can just say you're sorry and Wil will be all 'no problem Buff',



Nope. This was one of those end-of-the-world fights that was definitely going to take lots of groveling and probably many mochas to sort out. If it could be sorted out. It was just…why did it have to happen right now?



The sound of a book slamming shut brought her out of her reverie. Giles was obviously frustrated and a frustrated Giles was so not a good thing. He was all she had left now.



"Mine has faeries. Wanna trade?" The Watcher glared at her and Buffy just shrugged. "Don't know what they're doing in your demon book anyway? I mean," she picked up the book to angle it so that Giles could see the etching. "See, they're so cute and, you know… fairy."



The Englishman frowned. "Buffy, faeries can be quite dangerous, in fact…" he began, but stopped at the sound of something hitting the floor above. Both of them rose immediately and Buffy gave the Watcher the sign to stay put as she quickly made her way to his bedroom.



What she found there startled her. Faith knelt on the floor looking around the room, obviously disoriented. The swelling around her eye was down and the bruising on her arms had faded a bit to dark yellows and purples. She looked up immediately, her eyes narrowing as she took in the blonde Slayer.



Buffy froze, unsure how to proceed. This was Faith after all. Wild, dangerous, unpredictable Faith. And there was no telling what affect the drugs had had on her memory. Not to mention the head injuries and that little issue of an eight month coma.



"Where am I?" The dark Slayer asked, struggling to get to her feet. She was still wearing the hospital gown and Buffy could make out the cuts and bruises on her pale legs. "I mean, it feels like the 'dale, but why's it so fucking cold?" She wrapped her bare arms around herself and Buffy could see her own breath fogging in the air in front of her. She knew she should get the other Slayer something warm to wear, but was afraid any movement on her part would be misinterpreted.



"I'm gonna," she gestured toward a pile of clothes on the dresser and Faith tilted her head slightly in confusion. Buffy took a step to the side and picked up the small pile. "We got you some clothes," she tried to hand them to her, but the girl didn't move, just stood there shivering. After a few seconds she set them down on the bed next to her and took a step back. A part of her still worried that the Slayer would attack; that she was just waiting for an opportunity, a moment of weakness.



Faith stood there staring at her, making no move to pick up the offered sweater and jeans and finally lifted her eyebrows in a gesture that spoke volumes of 'answer the question'. "Oh! Yeah! You're still in Sunnydale," she said nervously. "In, um, well, you're in Giles' apartment, which is unbelievably, a lot warmer than outside." Still nothing from the dark-eyed Slayer. She was just standing there shivering and staring at her and Buffy wondered suddenly if she was still drugged. but her speech wasn't slurred, so probably not the drugs. She sighed heavily, "We're not a hundred percent on why it's so cold. But, you know, it's probably the usual. Norse God trying to free himself from the Hellmouth to start an apocalyptic war, yadah, yadah, yadah…" Dark eyebrows arched.



"Same ol', same ol', huh?" She said, the smile playing at her lips as she hugged herself tighter.



"Yep." There was a long awkward silence as the two studied each other.



"So, are you gonna tell me what I'm doing here?" Faith said and Buffy noticed that her chapped lips were shivering slightly.



"Okay. But first, clothes. I mean, I know they're not really your style, but…"



"Why the rush? You wanna watch?" Faith reached for the clothes and Buffy rolled her eyes before turning her back quickly to avoid giving away the deep blush on her face.



She could hear the scrape and rustle of the clothes as the slayer hastily dressed. Then a few muttered expletives.



"Granny panties? Aw, come on, B!" Buffy couldn't help but smile. The clothes were from a stash she kept at Giles' in case of emergency. Not exactly stylish, but great for those nights when she ended up covered in electric blue demon mucus…or worse. And they so weren't granny panties. They were cute with little red flowers. So what if they were a little wide on the hips.



"Fine. Don't wear them," she said with growing irritation and crossed her arms.



"I won't," Faith said and there was the unmistakable sound of the jeans' zipper. "Okay, all safe now."



She turned to the incomprehensible sight of Faith in khaki's and a bright red sweater, struggling to pull on a pair of trainers.



"You should stay in bed, Faith," she said, feeling the smile fade from her features replaced by a frown.



"You gonna make me?" Faith finished tying both shoes and turned to stare at her. Buffy met her gaze and tried to read the intention there. She didn't want to provoke the dark Slayer, but she wasn't going to back down either if she insisted on a confrontation.



And maybe a confrontation is exactly what you want anyway. Yeah, 'cause it would be so much fun to beat up someone you've already put into a coma once.



"No," Buffy said finally, never taking her eyes from Faith's.



"Good, 'cause I really need a slay," she said and grimaced. "I feel like I'm gonna jump out of my skin."



But Faith just sat there staring at her, making no attempt to leave the room. "So, are you going to tell me whas' goin' on?" The slur was almost imperceptible, but her Slayer hearing caught it easily. And there was something under the words, something almost menacing. Or maybe it was the strain of fighting the drugs and the pain.



Buffy nodded once and sighed, releasing the death grip she held herself in for the past several minutes.



"You've been…sort of in a coma for about eight months," she said keeping her voice as calm and even as she could. Faith's forehead furrowed into a deep frown and she could see the muscles in her jaw working as she clenched her teeth. "The Council got to you before we…I could, when you woke up. Do you remember the van?"



A short nod. "Kinda hard to forget getting tied up and the shit beat out of you," she said without a hint of emotion.



Buffy ran a hand through her hair and nodded. This was the tough part.



"What else do you remember?" she asked finally and Faith closed her eyes, allowing the blonde a momentary break from her intense stare.



"I dunno, s' all kind of fuzzy." She frowned suddenly, her eyes narrowing and Buffy rolled automatically onto the balls of her feet, preparing for an attack. "I remember weird shit, like the Mayor giving me cookies." She shook her head in disbelief and shrugged.



"So you remember the Mayor?" Buffy asked careful to keep her tone light.



Another nod and a deep line forming between dark eyes. Faith wobbled then stumbled slightly and Buffy automatically lunged forward to catch her, but was stopped midway.



"No!" The dark Slayer held a hand out as if to defend herself and Buffy recoiled automatically.



"Sorry," she mumbled and backed up another step, holding her palms up. "It's okay, I'm not…" she began, but something about the way the brunette was holding herself, the defensive position stopped her. It was Tara: the way she had crouched and cried out while channeling Faith. Swallowing hard, the blonde Slayer took another step back and inhaled deeply. "I take it you remember more…."

       

Another nod and Faith straightened, her eyes locked with Buffy's. "Yeah, some," she said finally. "You and me…" she began then stopped in apparent confusion. "We're fighting, right?"



"Faith, you…" she began angrily and stopped. Her first instinct was to confront, to explain her actions, the anger and blame rising up inside her hot and fast the way it always did with the other Slayer. But something stopped her. Those dreams full of another Faith. And the dream that had eventually lead to the Mayor's downfall. But there was something else, a strange, comforting calm that seemed to permeate everything in the room despite the cold. It felt like…like the circle and the spell -- like Tara -- making her hesitate. "We were….yeah. with the fighting." Buffy said exhaling evenly, like a meditation and nodded. "You went to work for the Mayor. You know, the Big Bad who wanted to turn into a giant snake and eat the town?"



Faith's eyes narrowed, but she didn't move into a more aggressive stance. In fact, she just nodded again and shrugged slightly. "So what gives, B? Why bother pulling my big bad ass out of that van then? Looking to get your revenge on. Slayer-style?"



Revenge. Yes, she had wanted that so badly once and the dark-haired girl in front of her definitely deserved it for all the pain she had caused. The familiar fury rose up in Buffy again as images from the past rolled through her mind. Her eyes automatically traveled to the place on Faith's body marked by her unsuccessful attempt at revenge and she felt some of the anger drain away. It was covered by the bright red sweater, but she knew exactly where the mark would be. Her thirst for revenge had lead to eight months in a coma. "Um, no." she ran a hand nervously through her hair. "No revenge here. Except for, you know, maybe the clothes," which somehow, despite the tension in the room got a small smirk from the dark Slayer.



It faded rapidly. "So, in the middle of another frickin' Apocalypse," she hooked a thumb at the freezing cold room and the snow outside. "You haul ass over to the docks to rescue my worthless ass?" They stood there, eyes locked for several moments while Buffy assessed the situation. Everything about Faith's posture and tone screamed 'threat' to her, but something held her back. Maybe it was that residual Tara calm, or the cold or just the knowledge that the dark Slayer was in no physical condition to be any real threat. Relaxing back onto her heels, Buffy took another deep breath and let it out in a long, slow exhale.



"It's complicated," she began and was almost relieved at the sound of a soft knock on the door. Giles' head appeared, his eyes going wide as he took in the two of them. Clearing his throat he opened the door just wide enough to address his Slayer directly.



"Is there…" he began and trailed off suddenly, his eyes darting to the dark Slayer who now stood with her arms crossed staring at the Watcher. "Is everything alright?"



Buffy sighed and nodded.



"Yeah, good to see you too, Giles. I'm doing jus' great, thanks," Faith said angrily as she snatched a jacket from the back of the chair and walked to the window.



"Where are you going?" Buffy asked, her tone almost desperate as she watched the other Slayer unlock the window with a flick of her wrist.



"To slay," dark eyes challenged.



"Faith, you're in no condition physically to…" Giles began only to be cut off.



"I may be all mentally defective now, but I do remember enough to know that you're not my fucking Watcher," she barked, wrenching the window open with one violent jerk. "I don't need your permission," she smiled threateningly.



"This is not about permission, Faith. This is about your physical…" the Englishman continued in the confrontational tone.



"Giles, it's okay," she said firmly and stared pointedly at the confused Watcher. "I'll go with her. We can check out the park, see if anything's brewing early."



"I don't need a fucking babysitter," Faith said, her eyes narrowing as she turned to face Buffy, shoulders squaring for a confrontation.



okay, this isn't going so well



With another deep exhale, the blonde Slayer fought the urge to answer the challenge. Instead, she walked calmly to the ancient weapon chest and opened it. "Actually," she said calmly. "I'm kinda thinking you do." Before she could protest, Buffy tossed her a stake and sword, which she caught easily. "I didn't go all out to save your," she paused to get the quote just right, "'worthless ass' just so you could get it kicked your first night out." Tucking several stakes into her waistband and withdrawing a sword of her own she turned finally to face her fellow slayer. "And I know you don't remember a lot, but we usually use the door." She smiled and waited for Faith's response. It took several long moments before the dark Slayer finally rolled her eyes and shut the window.



"Buffy, I'm still concerned that Faith is dangerously weak from her prolonged stay in the hospital. It could compromise you both…" Giles said and she noticed that his tone had changed, softened slightly, but Faith was already squaring up for a fight. Before the Slayer could get a word out, she calmly addressed her Watcher.



"Giles, she needs to slay," she said because as much as she wanted to distance herself from her fellow Slayer, she knew implicitly what the girl was going through. The burning, itching need to do what they were both chosen to do. "Believe me. It's like a thing…with us." She said finally and felt as much as saw Faith relax slightly. Giles just looked at her in confusion before nodding once and stepping aside.



"Yeah, it's either a slay or wild sex and I don't think you or B are up for a party…" the dark Slayer said as she walked past a now-red Watcher.



"Yes, I see. Quite right," he said with a grimace and began cleaning his glasses.



"So, I'll check in after we crash the magic party?" Buffy said trying not to smile at his obvious discomfort.



He nodded, replacing his glasses. "Yes. And Buffy, remember, you won't be able to stop the spell once it is underway. They will probably be using some sort of magickal device or amulets related to Norse mythology so I would focus on destroying or disrupting those."



"Break the bad kids' pretty toys," she interjected playfully hoping to stop the Watcher-babble before it overwhelmed them both. "Gotcha."



After a few moments of awkward silence, Faith cleared her throat dramatically in the hall and Giles nodded emphatically. "Yes, well…do take care. Both of you."



"You too," she said with a smile and turned to join Faith in the hallway.



"Awww, isn't that sweet. I didn't know you cared, G-man," the dark Slayer said sarcastically and Giles mumbled something inaudible behind her.



"Hello, he just risked his life to save you from the Council," Buffy said testily, but the look on the dark Slayer's face stopped her anger: disbelief that was quickly shifting to something else. Something not good. Desperate to lighten the mood, she fell back on humor, taking another deep breath and releasing it to steady herself. "So be good, Faith," she warned with a smile and gentle push.



There was a moment of tense silence as Faith bit her lip and continued to stare at a point just beyond the Slayer's right shoulder and Buffy automatically rolled onto the balls of her feet anticipating some sort of attack.



"Oh, I'm always good, B. You just never took the time to find out how." A smug wink and the dark Slayer walked ahead of her. She exhaled and closed her eyes briefly, letting herself relax. It was just like old times, almost. Except for the terrible past and the limp in the Slayer's once-powerful stride.

Edited by: lipkandy at: 9/28/04 12:08 am