That was... wow!

The narrative, the dialogues, every single detail was wonderful. One of the hottest scenes I ever read around here. What gets me is that, it's not just a very hot sex scene, but it's completely real to our girls' feelings, it's a normal, expected consequence to the wonderful and unique love they share. You nailed this with perfection.



And the cliffhanger at the end... oh my...

Edited by: sheila wt at: 10/24/02 1:30:53 am

That was just...wow. Each and every word they said to each other, everything they did with each other...just simply beautiful.

And THAT was a shocker at the end! Oz......

Awesome update!!!

"I got so lost"

"I found you, i will always find you"

Edited by: snuggle79 at: 10/24/02 2:21:31 am

Brilliant portrayal of Willow's pain and envy in The Bronze. Willow's many names for "whoever she was" were amusing though, bless her.



It was so lovely to see Buffy being the best friend she declares herself to be. Buffy, I say this with boundless love and eternal friendship, but if you come home right now I will murder you in your sleep.



Willow had never had a working definition of "steamy" before, but now she did, and she was drowning in it The sensuality of the union so wonderfully and beautifully described.

that was beautiful.



you have the power to move reader's emotions with your words. i bet you can make anyone readin your fic choke or cry.



i almost did.



Great work!

OMG..

I think I actually felt Willow's pain when she saw Tara at the Bronze. So descriptive.

The love....Awesome. I think I forgot to breathe while reading it. Most interesting was how you added in Willow's thoughts of how she had imagined making love to Tara while she was actually doing just that!

Oh and after all that goodness, ya had to throw in that cliff-hanger didn't ya?

Will be waiting anxiously.

BV

"In front of total strangers won't you kiss me, Flowers for no reason but you miss me - OOH, I wanna be in love"

Melissa Etheridge-Skin

that was so..gosh, i can't think of a good enough word. Touching. The feelings and their actions, the Bronze, and then Oz showing up. I'm just like reveling in your fic.



I am SO going to be checkin for updates

-Will

"Hear that baby? You're my always."



"well, you know, when you play a lesbian witch you've gotta get killed in this fun kind of exciting way, so the heart was the way to go..."



"we have the most amazing fans though they LOVE us."

Wow, that was great!



The interaction between them, soo good. And I loved Willow wanting to look into Tara's eyes, that was lovely.



That was and in a perfect mixture!



And Oz there, um, well see what happens...



Thank you!



-Viv-

You know, just when I think that we've all run out of ways to make the pancake-Tara connection work...and we all try it, don't we, it's like a staple... here you come with Mrs. Butterworth's Lite. Loved it.



I also liked Willow's beastly epithets for Chris, and the little neuron inhibitor runt--very Willow. Again with the parts of speech; it just seems very Willow to me that she would be thinking with various parts of her brain: the science part, the language part, the sex part, the breakfast part. Nice.

"And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!" -- Willow in "Doppelgangland"

wow. utterly amazing writing.



CK

"I'm not coming back." Willow. Villians

Just caught up with this story and it is amazing! Fantastically written (is fantastically a word?) and loved the plot line and eeeeep Oz is back! That was one mighty cliffhanger! Cant wait to read more



Aly xxxx

editing what i wrote:



oops, just read your wanting feedback via email... off to email you.

Edited by: Rane018 at: 10/24/02 1:50:46 pm

Just read parts 1 and 2! I really can't find words adequate enough to say how much I have enjoyed your fic. My emotions were all over the place when reading this. I felt so bad for Tara at the beginning, then for both of them when they just had to see each other and the time kept going too quickly. Then for Willow when she saw Tara with the other girl which was more than made up for by Tara going to Willow's room



By then ending this post with Oz coming back, well that was about as much as I could take



Thank-You, looking forward to more.

It's was so much fun to read Willow being all jealous and describing the Other Woman/Spawn of Hell . Has been a while I laughed that much when reading a fic, thanks !

Quote:

---

Take your time—make sure you do a thorough job. In fact, you might want to cut her head off, too." Willow was extremely pleased with this solution

---

That had me laughing so hard, esp. the 'extremely pleased' part. Willow thinking of it as a solution already tells us she thinks any other woman with Tara is a problem to be solved.



I adore jealous Willow, always nice to see her all possesive and protective .

This fic is riddled with good quotes, gosh :

Quote:

---

"Buffy, I say this with boundless love and eternal friendship, but if you come home right now I will murder you in your sleep."

---

Loved Willow remebering how she thought about making love to Tara. I kept fearing that Oz would interrupt them sooner, thank God he came around much later..heh. Now if he would just kindly turn around and leave that would be good. (and yes, I know Willow has to apologise to him about all this but lets NOT try that to mr. Wolfy )



I most enjoyed the humour in this fic...now where is that cold shower, heh.



Formatting: you forgot spaces around bold italic stuff.



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

I have just read parts 1&2. Your writing is masterful and truly brilliantly descriptive. I am in total awe.



The quality of the writing on this board never ceases to amaze me, but having just read your work, I feel it has pushed those high standards up to a new level.



The cliffhanger was oh...sooo perfect and now Oz, is probably going to go all wolfie. I hope he doesn't hurt anyone.



Just one other thing, I really like the length of your updates, as this allows the reader to really get into the story.



So looking forward to the next update.





Thank you.





Ann-Marie

Well written and captures the love and devotion of the couple, but has some good angst as well. Keep it up.

Shameless plug- Read my fic 7th Hellvan. It isn't half bad:)! "Innerbed".

Great fic!! I can't wait for an update!! I'm kinda hoping the whip out some witch-fu on Oz, or Buffy comes home!



Update sooN! *big grin*



~NICKOLE~

--------

"I-I understand. You have to be with the person you l-love."

"I am"

mmmmmmm *cough* that was, urm yeh. you know what i mean.



more please!



xelliex

**"Damn gayly forward!"** Anya- into the woods by blameburner.

and of course,



Wow!



And the ending ... oh my. I need more!

JD

"Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind saying, "maybe..." (Jeff Buckley - The Last Goodbye)

Oh, how lovely! They do come together, in passion and in genuine love. *sniff* And then poor Oz gets his heart ripped out, which is not fair by any standard but inevitable under the circumstances.



BTW, loved this little bit especially:

"Willow, wait—I’ll certainly check her out, but if I don’t pick her up on my

Slay-dar, I can’t just go kill her."



"I thought you were my friend," Willow replied, dropping into Full-Sulk Mode.

"GOD created Man in his own image. Man, being a gentleman, returned the courtesy." -Voltaire

OH. MY. GOD!!



This part made me dizzy



I know it's wrong, but I don't even feel sorry for Oz (after all, we all knew this was coming)

AntigoneUnbound I just read parts 1&2, and I'm completely blown away by your writing! Simply amazing with the way you make their emotions so palpable to me, (so descriptive), truly the narrative flows so well that I am just reeled into this story. Between the angst, I really loved Willow's word choices for ("Or whoever she was.") , as well as way you portrayed W&T finally connecting on all levels/truly being with the one their hearts desires was just beautiful .



As for W&T connecting "completely" on a physical level just wow, it most definitely deserves a ! Not only was their love-making hot/sensual, but through their thoughts/interactions the depth of their love was conveyed wonderfully. Really I simply just loved how W&T expressed their love ,with them being able to give into their feelings/desires (ie not having to hold back anymore). Lastly, to end the part with the Oz cliffhanger definitely ups the angst/tension, and I can't wait to see the "fallout" in the next part!

Edited by: VampNo12  at: 10/24/02 9:54:53 pm

All I can say is that your writing is incredible. I am hanging on every word. You drew me into such angst and then brought me into such revelry I am nearly speechless.

The torture Willow went through in the Bronze made my heart ache for her. But then:



QUOTES:

"But I draw the line at impaling random lesbians."----Buffy

"But remember— if there’s a halfway decent reason, you kill her skanky ass."----Willow



These lines had me laughing through the torment of the "all-corrupting succubus (or whoever she was)" touching Tara.



The climactic moment when Tara and Willow finally embrace and kiss was spell-binding.



QUOTE:

"And then it was too painful to be apart, and she pulled Tara back to her."

Ohmigod....



This is without a doubt the most touching, beautiful and hot piece of writing I've ever read. Every single feeling they experienced, we experienced along with them.



We hated the she-beast bitterly, felt Will's horrible anguish,

Quote:

---

Was this how Tara had felt for the past ten days? How did she stand it?

---

I was so sad in this paragraph,

Quote:

---

And why shouldn’t she? Had Willow given her any reason not to? Why shouldn’t she dance with a tall, striking woman who wouldn’t keep her separate from her friends, who wouldn’t ask Tara to keep their relationship a secret? Why shouldn’t she kiss another woman, if Willow had told her she couldn’t kiss her?

---

We could feel her pain, her guilt...but overall, her intense love and need to protect Tara.



But then...after all the angst, came the amazing love-making. It was so vivid, luscious...we felt every single touch, every movement they made. I'm just in awe.



Thank you so much for sharing your fic with us.

_________________


Willow laughs, kissing her. Soft and sensual. Deep love territory.
Seeing Red, Shooting Script.

Edited by: vix84 at: 10/24/02 11:31:01 pm

Right um, I'm gonna um go cold...uh yeah.



I'm sure I'll comment better when I'm not so... y'know.

"The only thing Willow had...I had going for me were the moments...just moments, when Tara would look at me, and I was wonderful."

~Willow.

Hey Kittens~~Wow...Thanks for your amazing feedback. It definitely helps to know what clicks.



>Pacou--I hope you enjoy "Antigone" in your class. When I first registered, I found that "Antigone" was already taken, so I added the "Unbound" part. Dunno exactly where that came from...Thanks for writing!



>DarkWiccan--Thanks so much for your feedback. You really convey things in a gifted way. Speaking of which...Everyone should check out "The Heart Rules The Mind," by the talented DW. I'm completely into it.



>Bagheera--Well, you know, life's a buffet, so why not sample everything we can! I'm glad the cliff-hanger worked for you. I didn't want to have a set-up in which it was easy to hate Oz by virtue of his being a caricature. You write a good character, so I definitely look for your feedback!



>JennyY--I'm glad the emotional depiction worked for you. If I were Willow's career counselor, I'd definitely nudge her away from professional poker, y'know? She's just so fun to write. Thanks for your input.



>Rose24--Yeah, that crazy Oz...Love him, hate his timing.



>SheilaWR--thanks for your feedback. Dialogue is tricky, so I'm relieved it rang true for you. Gotta say~~writing the love scene was fun! (And my girlfriend reaped the rewards!)



>Snuggle79--I'm glad you could feel the characters. This piece is definitely character-driven, so if that doesn't work, well...thanks for the input.



>Mollygig--I've noticed that you give great responses. (I've seen other feedback you've given.) I really appreciate your time and thoughtfulness. Yeah--I think all of us have had some variation of Willow's experience at the Bronze, and how excruciating it is. I so much prefer Buffy when she's not being all self-absorbed (though, in fairness, she certainly has a better excuse than most of us). I'm glad the love scene felt meaningful, and not just pure smut. (Is that last phrase an oxymoron? Hmm...) I mean, I love pure smut as much as anyone, but I wanted this particular experience to be as emotional as physical. Thanks again for your writing!



>Sleek--Coming from someone who writes the kind of characters you do (hey folks--check out "Finding You"!), I'm glad that W&T ring true and meaningful for you. Thanks for the feedback.



>Barnabasvamp--Poor Willow at the Bronze...Couldn't you just see her flashing back to her high school days, only this time w/ the added delight of self-recrimination? I love her...Writing W's fantasies was a fun aspect of the love scene--glad it worked for you! Thanks for the response.



>Willntlover--I'm glad you connected with our girls in this piece. It's definitely hard to let them hurt for too long, you know?



>Tulipp--You write such amazing feedback, and in such a droll fashion. And oh, thank God, I'm not the only one grappling with Tara (as it were) and pancake... You have such a wry style; I enjoy it immensely. Writing the epithets for Chris was pretty fun, actually. W&T are such good people at their cores, and it's fun to have a chance to show Willow being jealous.



>Canadian Kitty--Thanks for your response! I hope you like the future installments.



>Ally02--Let's just agree right here, shall we, that "fantastically" is a word? As in, I was fantastically appreciative of your feedback.



>Rane--You know, I'm fine w/ getting feedback in these posts. I wasn't sure of the appropriate way to solicit feedback, but these posts seem geared for that so you can send it to me here. And hey--Dawson's Creek, like Mary Cheney, has its own appeal that may not be immediately apparent but is no less legitimate, right? Thanks for writing.



>Stereo33--You were so thoughtful in your feedback. I've always love the profound emotion that connected W&T from the outset...They're both so emotionally complex and deep as individuals, it's exponential when they're together. Thanks for replying!



>Grimlock72--I have to say, I love your avatar, or icon, or whatever the right term is. I'm glad you liked the laughter--Willow's so incredibly quirky that she practically writes herself, and like you, jealous Willow tugs at my heart in a really basic way. Thanks for the thoughtfulness of your reply.



>Maisey12--Wow...What kind words! I'm like you--longer installments tend to work for me as a reader b/c I can get more immersed in them. I hope you enjoy future postings. Hey--have you written any fics yourself? I'd love to read them!



>Ittybittykitty--What a great moniker! Thanks, and I'm glad you like the fic.



>SilverWingedNemesis--And another great name...I also love your phrase: Witch-Fu. Maybe I'll call Ang Lee and ask him for some consultation on pulling that off...Thanks for the response.



>WitchbitchWillow--Oh, yeah--gotta love the sex, dontcha? (Well, I know I do...)



>jdcioffi--Again, thanks for your response. You know, I checked out your completed fic "Paper Airplanes" and totally loved it. I definitely wanna see anything else you write.



>Zahir al Daoud--What a nice response...Thank you! And I'm loving "Childhood's Hour," by the way. Vampire Tara is all kinds o' sexy to me!



>BFR--Dizzy...Wow, I'm honored! Hope the next parts work for you, too!



>VampNo12--Your feedback was so thoughtful and supportive. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I'm glad the emotions felt real and available to you; they definitely informed the sex aspect (or at least, that was my intention). I really do appreciate your response!



>SlayerSydney--I'm psyched that the laughter felt like it belonged for you, that it added to the story instead of detracting. I thought last year that even when Dark Magick Willow was in full bloom, she was funny--albeit in a horrifying, grief-fueled way. Thanks for your feedback.



>Vix84--Wow, your words are so kind...It's the kind of feedback that keeps a fledgling fic writer going! I'd love to know if you've written anything, b/c I suspect it's quite good. Thanks.



>Amberbenson...4eva (long name, but true for me as well!) Hope the cold shower was revitalizing! Thanks.



I plan to post the next installment tomorrow night (Saturday). I'm working on Eastern Standard Time in the US, by the way. Thanks again to everyone for your incredible feedback. Kittens: Today, the EZ Board; tomorrow, world dominion!



Thanks,

Mary

Mary, beautifully done, but I expect nothing less by now taking us and W/T through every emotion. and I've said it before, but it bears repeating -- Slay-dar! you are brilliant! and I love jealous Willow trying to talk Buffy into slaying (the other woman).



and Amphibian Pride Parade (!!)...okay, I'll stop now.



xomelissa

Wow, I must agree with everyone else here, your writing is really incredible. You really have a talent for capturing the characters. And the imagery ... swoon, oh the imagery.



Very nice. To put it simply. Hehe. I'll be checking back for more!

Edited by: an at: 10/25/02 8:47:20 pm

You are an absolute genius. I started reading this fic and thought oh no Willow can't have chosen Oz over Tara but it soon became apparent that Willow could not 'just be friends with Tara'.

Your descriptions of how they were feeling at any one moment were incredible. If they decide to write a BTVS Willow and Tara novel can you and Christopher Golden

write it Can't wait for the update to see how the girls are going to handle a mightily pissed off werewolf (I do feel for Oz though, this is going to be so painful for him).

"I think this line's mostly filler" - Willow in OMWF

Good god.

This is the reason I kick myself every time I give in and start in on a realy great unfinished story.

I feel the need to smack myself in the forehead.



In case you haven't inferred from my self flagnation I love this story. The characterizations are dead on and so well written. I love the direction you've taken from canon.

More please before I decide I realy am a masocist.

Yeah, the cold shower was revitalizing. Thanks. I really did love the first 2 parts of this and I'm dying for the next part. Oh my God, Oz showed up and it didn't really bother me,(you fried my brain with all the naked W/T) but then I came back and I thought, Oh crap and now I need to know what happens. Of course, it has to end up with happy W and T, right?

"The only thing Willow had...I had going for me were the moments...just moments, when Tara would look at me, and I was wonderful."

~Willow.