Hey kittens, part 126 is below.
Forrister - In his case I think Toni is about all he recalls, but maybe he doesn't know why?
At least not now.
And no, I can't see it being good either.
Thanks sweetie.
Cicca - Yeah, I know, but I sometimes feel that these things have to be 150% clear - or more - to avoid anyone asking. Its a sad thing that a writer can't write a character who is liked by another character without feeling that "liking" culd be interpreted as more.
Timing... The last story ended in approx S5 (Tara came to Sunnydale just after Hush). We are now 4 years on from then... so figure S9 if there had been such a thing (thank god there wasn't.)
Go do what you can with that info!
And enjoy part 126
Thanks
Katharyn
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Title:
The Sidestep Chronicle – Second Chronicle - Instruction Manuals and Encyclopaedia (Part 126)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
katharynrosser@hotmail.com Flames just demonstrate you have a tiny mind.
Spoiler Warning: Pretty limited. The story occurs in an alternate universe as set up in “The Wish” though reference is made to events that occur in both realities. Nothing is referenced that occurs after S5 though. Guess why? Most “spoilers” would be for the first chronicle of this fic rather than the show and if you haven’t read that then much of this will make no sense but you can try and get round it by reading the preface to Part 104 which summarises most of what went before.
Distribution This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens (This applies to all of the Sidestep Chronicle)
Summary: Finally Toni meets Jenny and Rupert.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories. You know the drill.
Rating: R – a general rating for occasional content. Individual parts might be less than this level. This part contains sexual innuendo and humour. You might not notice it if you are entirely innocent but hey… You shouldn’t be reading this anyway if you cannot deal.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever – others couples as necessary but nothing unconventional.
Notes: I have to say that I kind of let myself have fun here. Once again the vehicle for that was Jenny and the humour I always wanted her to show is messing with Rupert.
Thanks To: All My Brilliant Beta Readers (AMBBR) Kerry (Forrister) and Jo (Wizpup) who for some reason signed right back up for this fic after seeing the size of the last one. No accounting for madness is there. And Celia (TiredSoul) who should have known better but signed up anyway. *HUGS* and Big Thanks to all of you.
This is one of Celia’s and she has steered me right as usual. All I have to say to you sweetie is a message to tease others. Tease in the sense of them not having a clue what is going on. Read My Lips. No New (insert word of choice here)
The Sidestep Chronicle – Second Chronicle
Instruction Manuals and Encyclopaedia
By
Katharyn Rosser
“Are we
really certain this is entirely wise?” Rupert asked his wife for what must have been the fifteenth time if it was the first.
Jenny sighed. Her husband was such a worrier – about some things at least. A man who could go into a local café in the evening, play a guitar and sing to perfect strangers was worried about this little meeting with a teenaged girl? Jenny was firmly with Willow and could never have done that singing thing in public, despite their at-home harmonies for the kids, but they all loved to watch him when he performed. Except Ben, who for some reason it seemed couldn’t associate the singing man with Daddy. All hunting was suspended on the nights Rupert had his performances. Besides… “Do we really have a choice?” Jenny asked.
Not as she saw it anyway. They’d said they’d be there.
Tara and Willow had asked for their help – and even if they hadn’t been asked, they would have probably offered it anyway. Once they knew about what was going on. It was just – now that the time to help was here – things were a little different to the theory. At least so far as her husband seemed to think anyway.
Personally, she was having real trouble seeing what the problem was. This was what they did – what they all did – and a purer form of what he was supposed to do.
‘The helping thing’ as Willow would have said.
“It’s a sacred trust, not something to be used as some sort of…” He waved a hand, looking for the words, which wouldn’t usually have escaped him. He must really have been feeling the pressure.
“Encyclopaedia?” she guessed.
“Instruction manual,” he countered as if an encyclopaedia was far too common and not as in depth as he would have wished to be regarded. His scorn alone could, at times, be quite descriptive.
She had to admit that, if he had to be a book on this subject then he probably was more likely to be the instruction manual, and a good one at that – just because he would help someone through it step by step. But he knew as well as she that he wasn’t being treated like a book. His feathers were just ruffled by the way his knowledge had been acquired and what they now wanted him to do with it. Ruffled feathers were no reason to get snippy though.
“Oh come on! You
know that neither of them sees you that way,” she told him.
He looked a little surprised that she’d even suggest he had been thinking about Tara and Willowthat way. It wasn't surprising – he had a soft spot for both of their younger friends. Tara especially though. It was strange how it had come into being considering everything that had happened between them – naturally, of either of the girls, he should have found it easier to accept Willow.
Certainly he’d respected Tara when they first met – when she’d met his Slayer – for carrying the fight to the vampires, alone, for so long. For being so good at what she did and for being someone Faith had respected. Getting Faith to respect anything or anyone had been a battle.
He’d had concerns, of course, which was eventually how things had gotten out of control, but not even Tara tried to deny he’d been right to worry, even if the response had been… ill thought out. Things had gotten bad for a while… especially after… But, when Tara had come back – with Willow by her side and in her life – Rupert hadn’t been able to help respecting the work ethic she’d put into trying to make up for the death of their other friend, the Slayer Faith. Friendship had taken a little longer for them to find, and when it had come, it had been based on respect once again.
This time without the worry.
Jenny, really, had never stopped liking Tara. Even when Faith had… well, even then she’d been able to hope that there were major extenuating circumstances. And there had been. Willow… one of her favourite pupils, even in the short time before she’d been lost to them all for so long, was just a wonderful, wonderful bonus.
Whatever the Council were still worried about with Tara, she was well aware that Rupert didn’t have a single thought along those lines. And yet the Council
were worried about something. Quentin especially. But somehow they were still expecting her husband to deal with the Hellmouth alone. Well, not alone. The Council knew Tara and Willow were here, of course, and so now they were relying on the very people they’d wanted to kill a few years ago.
What was up with that?
Jenny, if she’d been in either of Tara or Willow’s places, might have told the Council – which had never once ‘asked’ them to help – to stick it and run off to that farmhouse in the country and they could live together for the rest of their lives. She and Rupert been to the farm once when Tara and Willow had been looking after Faith – it was very pretty out there. Quiet. Peaceful. Monsterless.
“Besides, you’re way too verbose to be an instruction manual,” Jenny teased to soothe him. “Even if you do come in many languages.”
“I’m rather more concerned about the girl,” he responded with a wry smile, but probably ignoring her innuendo entirely. He often did when he didn’t know what to do with them – which was generally all the time outside those intimate times they rarely seemed to be able to find enough time for.
“Toni.”
“Yes, Toni. I have to say that I’m not at all comfortable with her, or anyone else, knowing that I am, technically at least, a Watcher. Or even what a Watcher is. There are rules – rules that have been in place for generations. Long enough to have become engrained in the very fabric of what a Watcher is. As long as there have been Watchers, there have been – ”
Was that really what was wrong here? “Rules? Yeah I noticed the rules. English, your four-year-old daughter knows you’re a Watcher. Which, incidentally, we’re going to have to talk to her about before she starts kindergarten or someone’s parents are going to think you’re a little…”
“Strange?”
“Perverted,” she corrected. “Couldn’t you guys have called yourselves something different? The ‘Council of Slayer Guidance’ or something?”
“There probably didn’t seem to be much point to having any other name since there were the rules about not telling anyone what it was. It really wouldn’t have mattered if people didn’t keep finding out about us,” he responded as if she had just proved his point for him.
“I thought it was kind of fun, when you told
me you were a Watcher,” Jenny blew him a kiss.
“But then you, my dear, are…” he paused again. Looking for the word. Twice in as many minutes, he really must be having a bad day.
“Beautiful?” she guessed.
“Certainly, but not quite what I was looking for.”
“Happy to be watched by the right, very sexy, Englishman?” she guessed again and watched her husband take his glasses from atop his nose quickly and wipe them furiously whilst they waited at a convenient stop light. “That’s right, got to have that vision clear,” she went on. Which made him put them right back on again. He hated to be so obvious about his repressed upbringing – even if he wouldn’t have seen it that way.
“No. I was going to say ‘insatiable,’” he told her. “But, instead, I think I will go with obnoxious.”
“And you love it, despite your stick up the ass upbringing,” she smiled sweetly just in case he had chance to look over at her.
“Yes, I love it. Mother certainly wouldn’t, but I do. Perhaps…” he paused as they reached yet another stop light, turning to the backseat where Faith was playing with her plastic horses and Ben rested in his carrycot.
“Perhaps…?”Jenny asked, wondering where he was going.
“Perhaps we ought to have Tara talk to Faith? Before kindergarten. About the ‘watcher’ description,” he suggested quietly, as if he was embarrassed about the idea of having to ask someone else to assure his daughter’s silence.
Now,
that was what surprised Jenny. The one thing he’d never been entirely happy about with Tara, though he’d never held it against anyone but himself, was how his daughter seemed to pay more attention to her ‘Aunty Tara’ as Rupert wanted to label her, than she did to her own mother. Either of them could get Faith to listen by being the voice of ultimate discipline, if they needed to be but he hated to be seen that way. Jenny didn’t like it either. Faith was a wilful – if normally well behaved – child. She also had a keen eye for a loophole in anything you told her. Not to be naughty but just… because you’d missed it.
He was right though, if either of them went to Faith and told their daughter not to mention Daddy being a Watcher, then Faith would probably announce, when asked what her Mommy and Daddy did, that he was a librarian and that he liked to go out at night – maybe even mentioning ‘young ladies’ – and ‘watch’ things that Faith was too young to know about. That could get a little embarrassing at the PTA or Parent-teacher conference. Faith wouldn’t ever do it to be bad, but Jenny could imagine that, further down the road, when she was a teenager, they were going to face humiliation, as her parents, on many occasions. This would be just the start.
And even when she was older, Faith would only ever be telling the, teasing, truth. Jenny knew it was coming though. Faith was too like her for it to be any other way. Tara had once said to her, long after the bad times, that she thought the Slayer that had lived here with them had been like her too. And Jenny could see that, until she’d settled down – and apart from the superpower thing – she could see that.
The implication though was that her daughter, also called Faith, was going to be a little like the Slayer. Faith was going to be a teaser. You just had to watch her with Ben, and Willow, to recognise the signs. She knew how to play with people already – to have her fun without hurting anyone.
But, on the other hand, if Tara was the one who talked to Faith, then things
might be different. At least until those teenage years came upon her. Faith
listened to Tara as did just about everyone else who knew her. It was just that when Faith listened to Tara she understood something deeper behind the words and responded to them. What that was no one… least of all Tara, was sure.
Once upon a time, when Tara had first demonstrated the knack of influencing their daughter so quietly, Jenny had wondered whether there was the teensiest bit of magic in what she was doing even at a subconscious level – just so that a tiny little girl would understand her. Tara had promised her then it wasn’t the case and Jenny still believed that. She’d seen all sorts of animals listen to Tara too. And none of that was magic… it was just a knack she had.
The thing of it seemed to be that, nature
wanted to listen to Tara. With people it was different there she was a little less confident – until she knew them and she her. But the respect Tara had amongst anyone who knew her… she was going to be such a great teacher, Jenny was absolutely sure of it. There were teachers who could rant and scream and still be ridiculed by their students. And there were those who could walk into a room, for the first time, and have them eating out of the palm of their hand without even saying a word.
Tara was definitely going to be in the latter category. And the qualities she would show as a Mom…
“I think that might be the best suggestion you’ve had today…” she complimented hier husband. It was a good idea he’d had about Tara, one that should save some embarrassment amongst not only other parents, but fellow teachers. After all they knew some of the teachers at the school Faith was going to go to. “At least since the one you made this morning when we were in bed.”
Oh god, she still just loved to watch him squirm… Not that Faith was old enough to recognise that sort of teasing yet. Lord help them when she did though, Rupert would wear his glasses away when that happened. Still, when Faith was that old they wouldn’t be looking for snatched moments when they weren’t too tired and neither of the kids was awake and demanding attention. No, when they had the opportunity then they’d just be trying to avoid getting
caught by suddenly returning teenagers. She was sure it would kind of take the variety away and make them get a lock for the bedroom.
The next decade and a half should be fun.
“So may I make another suggestion then?” he asked carefully.
“Sorry English, you still have to come meet with her,” Jenny insisted. She knew what he was thinking.
He set off again as the light changed. Not even managing a ‘humph’ as he focused on the road again.
“You know, as well as I do,” Jenny pressed, “that neither Tara or Willow would put your ‘sacred duty’ at risk. They wouldn’t put me and the kids at risk either by telling the wrong person.” And there it was. There was just no getting around how careful Tara, especially, was about making sure they weren’t at risk. Tara allowed Rupert to help her, rather than the other way around, but she definitely limited the amount of time he was exposed to the dangers that were out there.
And bless her for it.
Jenny felt just a little bit guilty for thinking like that – but it was her husband, the man she loved. If Tara wanted their help with the big stuff that was great, they wanted
her to be safe too, but she couldn’t help feeling their friends were much better equipped than Rupert could ever be.
For hunting vampires anyway.
There were other types of equipment which meant nothing to either of the girls – but which Jenny valued quite highly actually.
As did Rupert, come to think of it.
“I know that,” he confirmed.
“Not that Toni knowing about you is any more of risk than her knowing about them,” Jenny said. “It looks like some vampires might already have been after her – and Tara and Willow let her stay with them.” Then she allowed some of her bitterness to come to the fore. “And it’s not like the Council gives two hoots about you since we lost Faith.” Their secrets weren’t really a concern of hers when it came to their safety, the safety of their friends and of that teenage girl.
The Slayer had been all the Council had really cared about in Sunnydale – before and after her presence. The Council of Watcher’s really hadn’t been involved in anything else Jenny’s husband had done. They didn’t even ask for reports any more. They might expect them – but they never asked if they were late.
They just didn’t care.
“It’s true,” he admitted, “that the Council has been somewhat more… distant – ”
“Distant? Try non-existent. They abandoned you, love. You don’t owe the Council anything at all.” She really did believe that. She had no problem with the two of them both helping Tara and Willow as much as they could, but she didn’t want to pretend it was anything to do with the Council. They didn’t do it for the Council. Or to feel good.
“I know,” Rupert replied, “how you feel about this, and I agree it is less than ideal – but you have to appreciate how these things – ”
Sometimes Jenny just had to smile at her husband’s refusal to condemn something that had been a part of his life for even longer than she had. If she didn’t smile then she might have cried. It was all part of the fuddy-duddy she found so attractive. If he had ranted about it then he wouldn’t have been Rupert. But she still interrupted him. “They abandoned you Rupert, even if they always do that – before and after a Slayer – they abandoned you even more completely because of what happened to Faith. And it’s not right. This is a Hellmouth. When was the last time they asked Wesley and Leti to come through here to help you out?”
It had been a couple of years. Wesley tried, when he and his Slayer were making their way to other places, but it had still been years. Wesley’s Spanish might even be up to scratch now. It had been interesting seeing him and Leti try to get by in a hybrid of English and Spanish when he’d last been here. But it was like the Council was
trying to keep their only weapon away from Sunnydale.
Or trying to get someone killed. She didn’t want to think about that for his sake.
“Well-”
“They got Faith killed,” Jenny told him. But he didn’t need anyone to remind him of it – he still held himself partly responsible for that tragedy. “They wanted,” Jenny pressed, “and still want, because they never rescinded the order, Tara dead.”
And that was the truly screwed up part of it. They might be trying to kill her by not giving them help – they might even not care if Rupert got hurt, or worse.
And what about their kids? Did they care
at all about them?
The Council were a bunch of cold-hearted bastards and she wasn't sure how her husband had ever been a part of that sort of organisation.
“They ‘let’ you have her help here though. They use all of us, you, me, Tara and Willow. They rely on us to keep the Hellmouth under control. So, you know if you can use some of what they taught you to help this girl, then I think you know it’s okay to do that. Right?” She looked over at her husband, surprised just how mad the talk of the Council could still make her. It hadn’t come up in a while – maybe she’d just been saving it up. There was really, apart from Rupert’s presence in Sunnydale at all, no part of the Council of Watchers that was good.
Well, maybe what the true-Watcher assigned to the Slayer did was worthwhile – in fact she knew it was. But nothing else. She came right back to the fact they were a bunch of self-important, interfering, busybodies with nothing better to do with their lives.
One Slayer.
One Watcher.
That was the way it was supposed to be – the rest was just bureaucracy and an overly high opinion of their own importance. She knew her husband was the only Watcher, bar Wesley, doing
anything to actually fight what they ‘watched.’
Rupert, though looking at the road, wasn't chastened by her tone or her words. Instead, he had a gentle smile on his face. Not bad, considering she’d insulted his vocation. Within seconds of pulling up to their destination though, he’d leaned over and kissed her and as they parted, a small plastic horse flew past their noses.
Ben, it seemed, didn’t share his sister’s enthusiasm for all things horsie.
“Actually,” Rupert said as he picked the horse up from the dashboard and examined it, “if I admitted I was rather nervous about trying to communicate great detail with someone who doesn’t speak my language… would you think more or less of me?”
Just for effect, Jenny paused and considered it.
“You could answer rather more quickly – just to soothe my masculine ego,” he chided her as he passed the toy back to his daughter who had been patiently scolding her oblivious brother about how to treat toys and more important than that, her horsies. Faith was going to have him trained before he was even talking.
“Remember, she doesn’t know us either. And was it not your ego I soothed this morning?” Jenny jokingly asked.
Rupert paused. “Technically, I would have to say ‘no.’ I’m pretty sure it was something else.”
She could see him twitching, wanting to reach for his glasses, but holding back – probably not wanting to be obvious. She’d have to see if she could provoke him into a quick clean, as well as making him feel good about himself.
Soothing egos was as much a part of being together as compromising. She liked to be told she was beautiful, despite two children and he told her she was even more beautiful because of them. He was a man though, and they liked to be told other things sometimes…
“Are you sure? It seemed to be just as big,” Jenny pressed. Her husband’s ego was no more or less sensitive than anyone else’s. The ego that was…
“Was it as big as a horsie’s Daddy?” Faith chirped up from the back.
Jenny felt her own jaw drop. She hadn’t thought Faith was listening to them as she told off Ben.
She saw her husband’s drop.
The both turned to Faith. Did she have even the tiniest clue what she’d asked? What the… What putting everything into horse-like terms would mean? No.
“No honey,” Jenny relied as the laughter took over her – even as she struggled against it. “It’s not
quite as big as a horsie’s honey. Is it daddy?” No… Certainly not quite in those dimensions. She’d lived the authentic gypsy life for all of a few weeks each summer. She’d seen horse…
“Horses do have big… ego’s, darling,” Rupert practically stammered not wanting burst Faith’s analytical bubble.
Horses were big so they would have big… ego’s.
It was a good job, she supposed, that they’d already arrived. Otherwise she might have had to insist that they pulled over to stop him from crashing into anything. “And everything else,
stallions more than most,” she added quietly to him with a peck on the cheek. “Daddy’s… ego is just right, honey. Not too big, not too small.”
“Like the three bears and Goldilocks?” Faith asked.
Jenny looked at Rupert. He looked back at her. There was a mutual exchange of thought in their expressions. If Rupert would have ever said such a thing it meant ‘don’t even go there.’ Not too soft, not too hard? Had they really told her that story? Was there some sort of message in that tale? Not too hot, not too cold…
It was going to be a long fourteen years until Faith went to college.
But fun too.
“Just like the three bears,” Jenny forced herself to say and shook her head at her husband. Tara liked nature programs. Maybe she’d know about the technicalities… But how to ask her?
“Daddy?”
“Yes, honey?” he replied.
“What’s an ego?”
Rupert looked from his daughter to his wife. Jenny just shook her head. Over to you librarian guy. You can get all technical with her.
--------------------------
“I think they’re here,” Tara said as she peered out of the window. Rupert usually preferred to park his car out front – it was easier to get to the elevator from that side of the dorm – rather than the parking lot, which they’d need with the baby carrier.
Toni flashed her a sign. One which Tara understood, they both did, because they’d seen it rather a lot already. ‘What?’ was pretty commonplace whilst they all tried to get used to everything about living in the same space. They’d pretty much started to ‘hot seat’ with the laptop and the PC now. There were only each other to talk to here in the room, so Toni would just plonk herself down at the PC and either she or Tara would go and chat to her. Or, if they needed to say something, then they could do the same and Toni would come over.
It got confusing when she or Tara wanted to do some school work – but they never just dismissed Toni, they always took the chance to do a little chatting first.
The best thing about that was… in part it was
actual chat.
It wasn’t all questions all of the time – though practicalities had entered into it of course – nor had it been all about vampires and where they might be which was pretty much all they ‘needed’ to know. The rest was just stuff they wanted to know. Sometimes they’d just talked, and learned something new about Toni – whilst revealing some things about themselves. And everyone, Willow was sure, felt more at ease because of it. It was still very obvious Toni felt like a ‘guest,’ which she was, and she obviously felt she had to behave that way. But there was also an element of having to treat her in that way too.
Being as it was true, what else could they do? Making her feel at home wasn’t an option – because it obviously wasn't home.
WiccanFoo: They’re here.
Willow had to admit she was kind of excited about the visit. It wasn't so often that Jenny and Rupert came here with the kids, as much because of a lack of space as anything else, but when they did then she got to see Faith – without the mini-trampoline. Faithy-fun without any bouncing which would turn her a delicate shade of green Tara always found funny. She found it funny at first, but then Tara got all guilty about it and would rub her tummy for her.
Which she liked even when she wasn't feeling sick.
It was almost worth it – even without Faith enjoying herself as much as she did.
Ben, right now at least, was pretty much Ben wherever he was. His personality – though becoming more obvious – was definitely still to be formed. Let him start charging around the place and then they’d see. Why is that everyone wanted kids to start crawling or walking as soon as possible and when they did just that, they kept wanting go back to keeping them still? But by then she and Tara would probably have graduated and this room, their faithful home for the last three years, would go to someone else.
Willow wasn’t sure she wouldn’t cry when they finally handed the keys in. She could tell herself it was just a place, that home was where Tara was… but it was a place she’d come to love. They had a while yet though so no need to be sad-girl just yet.
It was an ever-decreasing while though. Willow was about to move on to her revision plan for the final time. Sector Green One was only a few weeks away. By the time she reached Red Five… well there wouldn’t be much time in this place left for them. Just the few days after exams when they could chill out and hang out with their friends.
There were already barbecues, keggers and dances planned in. Strangely, Porter dorm was quiet though. Perhaps their usual constant partying had left them unable to contemplate one last, big one for the year. When you could party to celebrate the days of the week ending in ‘Y’ and hold a ‘Someone attended a seminar’ party, then perhaps the end of the academic year was a little daunting.
Toni: And who are they again?
Wiccanfoo: They’re our friends.
Wiccanfoo: Good friends. They’ll help us try and sort stuff out for you.
Willow didn’t really want to say they were family, which they were, because the last thing she wanted was for Toni to worry there was some big agenda here and that everyone would side ‘against’ her. She and Tara, knowing Toni better, would be the ones who looked out for her in this. Rupert and Jenny would make their suggestions, she and Tara would try and make sure Toni understood the ‘why’ and ‘if not then…’ of it. Faith would bounce on something, probably a bed, and Ben would sleep. That was the way this was probably going to work.
All Toni had to do was decide to trust in them – or not.
Toni: Like what?
Wiccanfoo: Like how to sort the legal stuff out… about your Dad.
Wiccanfoo: The authorities will know he’s missing by now. Both of you. He won’t have been at work or you at school
Toni: Because he’s dead
It was unnecessary for Toni to have said that – or at least it seemed so. Willow knew he was dead. Tara did too. The police might have done something about it, but they hadn’t paid enough attention to the girl. Toni knew it better than anyone though. If she wanted to be bitter about it then it was certainly fair, and Willow could more than forgive it. Bitter wasn’t self-destructive unless it dragged on too long.
Wiccanfoo: Sorry.
‘Sorry for making you upset,’ was what she meant.
Toni: It’s not your fault.
Toni: I know that.
Willow hoped that Tara wasn’t harbouring even the tiniest thought about that question. Fault. Blame. She didn’t want Tara to be thinking that it was her fault either, not even their fault together. Willow wasn’t going to let her lover do that. They’d done everything they could in this town. They’d given a good part of their lives in the last few years to making it a better place. If they’d missed something – well, things were a lot better than they would have been if they hadn’t been here at all.
Then again, could she expect Tara not to be thinking about it? After all, she was thinking about it herself.
Right now.
No. Stop it.
Still thinking about it.
Start typing again – maybe it’ll go away.WiccanFoo: There are important things for you too
WiccanFoo: Which have to be done.
WiccanFoo: Like… if you want to be able to get stuff from that house you told us about?
WiccanFoo: Go to school somewhere?
WiccanFoo: It’s all to do with your future, Toni, and it’s important. We can’t leave it too long.
Willow checked on their guest’s reaction to all that as she hit the enter key between each line. At first she thought that Toni might object to some of the things that she was typing here, but… the girl was obviously thinking about it and coming to the pretty quick conclusion that those things were, one day, going to be important.
Even if one day wasn't today, maybe she realised there couldn’t be too many tomorrows before she got there. The world was what it was.
Wiccanfoo: We know someone already reported the two of you missing.
Jenny had already taken a look into the Fremont PD computer – which she hadn’t been happy about. It was the kind of thing Jenny usually left to her.
WiccanFoo: Or there are bills back home which the bank want paying to stop them from taking your house.
WiccanFoo: We have to try and get someone to deal with that stuff for you, if we can’t help with it ourselves.
Perhaps this wasn’t what Toni wanted to hear? A sullen nod from the girl acknowledged the reality of the situation though. But it had to be bringing her right back to the world in which her Dad was dead. Willow had hoped that, maybe, in the last couple of days they’d insulated her from that just a little. A place where she wasn’t quite as alone as she had been before she came here.
If she was insulated it was mainly because they couldn’t bear to push Toni too hard. Maybe they should have, for more than one reason. But they didn’t want her to regard them as the enemy – again – or to feel she had to be “obviously feeling better” on demand. They knew her Dad was dead – and they’d both lost family to tragic circumstances and seen others lose theirs too – they knew they had to let Toni find her way through these early days.
With support, of course, but still finding her own way.
Which was why it had taken three days just to even start getting the ball rolling on what had to be done eventually. They’d been ready to do it, but the time had never quite seem right. All this was going to be was a chat to find out what might need doing, for Rupert and Jenny to think about it – and more importantly meet Toni. Nothing else was going to happen. Not today anyway. There probably wouldn’t even be anything decided. Rupert and Jenny both understood that – Willow had made sure of it when she called them.
Wiccanfoo: Mr Giles, the librarian, can help us to do all that without getting you, or vampires, involved too deeply with anyone else. He knows about that sort of stuff.
At least she hoped so. Until now, when Rupert’s group of ‘White Hats’ had lost in the past, there had always been a body for someone to claim. Death certificates weren’t as hard to come by when you had a body – though cause might be an issue. Without a body, Willow guessed Toni would have to testify to the fact he’d been killed, what had happened… and who had done it.
And that was where the problems lay.
Rupert had to be able to help – Watchers had to know about what was need in those situations, as well as what would work. Otherwise how could they deal with the inevitable fallout of their work? And it
was inevitable. It was as Willow wondered about how he might have made the arrangements for his Slayer, Faith, that she
felt the sharp snap of that young woman’s neck ripple up from her fingers to her shoulders and through her entire body.
Memory was a curse – at least memory of those times…
And, as it always did, that led her to the things the vampire had done to Tara… She shuddered and noticed Toni looking at her around the monitor of her PC. As if she’d drifted off or something and she supposed she had. Willow brought herself back the present and forced a smile.
Wiccanfoo: Sorry
Wiccanfoo: I was just thinking of something that happened a long time ago.
Faith had been buried, so as far as Willow knew – and it wasn't a topic she ever raised – without having any official guardian deal with it. She thought there had been a Mom who maybe the police should have approached. But the hints she’d picked up over the years suggested Rupert had dealt with it all after the investigation had ended. The investigation had been fairly cursory – it had even looked at Tara, whose apartment it had been, but… Rupert hadn’t just made arrangements for Faith.
She remembered being involved in the death of more than one of his friends over the years. What sort of strange coincidence was it that had drawn the vampire to his friends and then made him her friend?
In what sort of universe would that happen? She forced herself to come back, away from sad thoughts. She knew how much attention Toni liked to pay to expressions, even when they were typing.
Wiccanfoo: Besides you’ll like them. Jenny’s great fun. A good teacher too. I was always a geek… I liked my teachers.
Toni rolled her eyes and Willow didn’t fail to notice it.
Wiccanfoo: Not a geek?
Toni: No
Willow smiled. Geeks were the exception rather than the rule. At least in this universe. Somewhere in the quantum theory of the universe there was a school where academic excellence was just the norm and sports were where the weirdoes hung out. Not here though… There was always a Daryl Epps who’d be more popular than a Willow Rosenberg, two years after he graduated.
Wiccanfoo: Well, Jenny’s great. And the kids…
The kids. If only they could be so lucky one day, she and Tara. If they chose to be. And once again she was aware Toni was looking at her as if she’d drifted off, and this time so was Tara from across the room. Another smile ought to do the trick.
Wiccanfoo: Did you ever babysit?
Toni had already told them she had no brothers and sisters, no real family of any kind – at least not who she’d seen in years and years. Willow knew all about being an only child. She hadn’t regretted it too much at the time nor had Tara’s experiences back home changed her view on that. But she couldn’t help feeling that Faith and Ben were going to have something, something good as they grew up, that she’d missed out on.
They were going to have two very attentive ‘Aunties’ too. Except that title already made them feel old – and not even Jenny was sticking with using it. Rupert, desperate for his children to grow up with more respect for adults than their ‘colonial brethren in that place they call a school’ insisted on trying to give them titles which the kids would use. And ‘Aunty’ was really all that he could find which would fit.
Willow didn’t think Tara wanted to be an ‘Aunty’ and she was damn sure she didn’t want to be one until she was at least, say, fifty.
Toni: They were brats, all of them.
Okay, so kids
could be brats, but in general…
Wiccanfoo: Well, all kids can be naughty but Faith and Ben are good kids.
Wiccanfoo: Honest. You’ll love them. Everyone does.
Toni looked a little sceptical, as she had since she’d heard how old Faith was. Was that how old the ‘brats’ she’d known had been? Willow didn’t think Faith could be a ‘brat’ - she’d been brought up too well, and not just by Rupert. Jenny was a firm but kind mother, one who wanted to explain as much as she could of ‘why’ to her daughter. Tara, as Willow herself had been, was a constant influence in Faith’s life too and Tara didn’t stand for monkey business.
At least not unless it was for fun.
Tara returned to her side then, standing beside the desk the laptop was resting on and reading what she and Toni had been saying to each other. Willow wrapped her hand around her girlfriend’s leg possessively as Tara caught up, scrolling up the screen to the point she’d left the conversation, then reading back down to where they were now. Occasionally a chuckle could be heard as Willow re-read it at the same time.
As Willow looked up Tara, her head resting briefly on her girlfriend’s hip, she could watch as Tara nodded. ‘It’s true’ she was saying. And didn’t Willow know how much Tara loved those kids? Okay, Willow loved them too and would do anything to keep them safe, sound and happy, but Tara…
Tara had so much love in her and she was always so giving of it. There was the love Tara had for Willow, of course. The love she had for her friends. The love she had for Miss Kitty. The love she had for the kids… Wow. If Willow had thought Tara could love anyone as much as her, it would have to have been Faith and Ben.
And there was still so much love left over. Tara really wouldn’t have a problem sharing even more love out – say, just for example, to a child of their own. Somehow. Maybe. But the love was definitely there, ready and waiting.
The willingness to stop helping everyone else wasn't though. As if the love Tara had remaining had to be shared – and she chose to share it amongst everyone else in the world.
Next thing Willow knew, her girlfriend was bumping her along on the wide stool she was sitting on and taking the laptop gently from her and typing.
Wiccanfoo: It’s okay to be afraid
Toni: I’m not afraid.
In Willow’s opinion, the type was much more convincing than the eyes which were currently avoiding looking at them. When eventually they did, Toni must have realised that there was no fooling them – or at least if there was a fooling going on then it wasn't going to be Tara who was the one she was actually communicating with at the moment.
And the girl had no idea about the sense Tara had about people’s aura – if she chose to look.
They hadn’t avoided the subject, but it wasn’t something they’d thought it prudent to mention. Toni obviously didn’t really hold with magic – even when it had helped her – helped to save her life in fact. But she was wary of all things supernatural. Willow didn’t take offence at that, and knew Tara didn’t either. It was a good, safe, attitude to have in the world as it really existed. Not everyone was using their unusual abilities for good.
Toni: Okay I am afraid.
Toni A little.
Wiccanfoo: That’s okay.
Wiccanfoo: I have a problem meeting new people too. I have a stammer. It’s not so bad now, not as noticeable. You might see me not looking up at people though, I still do that. But it’s all worse when I have to talk to people I don’t know. Or when I get stressed out.
Toni: You?
Wiccanfoo: Yeah me.
Toni sat and thought about that for a few moments, looking at Tara as if weighing up what she was going to say about it. Willow hoped she didn’t ask what a stammer was. There was no easy way to really explain it to someone who’d never heard a word and the dictionary definition probably didn’t do the affliction justice.
And what did they do in closed captions about a stammer?
Maybe she’d have to ask Toni that some time.
Toni: I never saw you that way.
There was something in that. Tara was like… so small and delicate in one sense, yet such a perfect example of womanhood in others – to Willow at least. And she had this staggering confidence in the justness of her cause, her love for her girlfriend and her friends that it was tough to ‘see’ how she could be lacking in confidence.
But… just seeing Tara with a new person, someone she had to be a little nervous about, you could still see her head dip and a shy look come from her eyes as her mouth – only momentarily these days – let her down.
Willow, on the other hand, had never been let down by Tara’s mouth.
Back to the moment though.
Wiccanfoo: I never sound too much like that nowadays, and its harder to notice the looking down thing.
Wiccanfoo: It’s a lot better, but you know how I beat it?
That got Willow’s attention. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard this before. They were always discovering all this new, neat, stuff about each other. They would be for their whole lives she was sure.
Toni: Go on
Toni actually looked interested, which surprised Willow. That made two of them then.
Wiccanfoo: I just had to.
Wiccanfoo: I talked to people. I was confident who I was, what I could do and what I wanted.
Wiccanfoo: You don’t lack that confidence, Toni.
Willow nodded. Tara was dead right – Toni didn’t lack that sort of confidence. She knew just what she wanted and what she didn’t want too. Then again she didn’t have a visible problem with confidence either.
Toni: They could tell me I have to go away, to my Mom or into a home.
So that was it? Willow wasn’t surprised.
Wiccanfoo: No, they couldn’t.
Wiccanfoo: And I promise you they wouldn’t.
Wiccanfoo: But…
Wiccanfoo: They might say you need to go to the police or something.
Toni nodded, as if she knew what the result of that would be, then started to type again.
Toni: And the police could…
Wiccanfoo: All of it, anything our friends say are just suggestions. I promise.
Willow leaned over and typed on the keyboard herself.
Wiccanfoo: We promise.
It was all she wanted to say, and so left Tara to the keyboard again. She wasn’t being picky; she just wanted to be sure Toni didn’t go seeing loopholes they were creating to get her to do things, at least where there really weren’t any. It wasn't like the girl entirely trusted them yet. And why should she? Trust wasn’t going to come easily – if ever. All she and Tara could do was to make sure they never gave the girl any reason to doubt them.
Toni: So whatever he says, I don’t have to?
Wiccanfoo: You don’t have to do anything.
Tara’s reassurance was met with a look from the girl, which must have meant ‘then why bother with this.’ Either that or ‘adults always say that.’ One or the other. Once again Willow leaned over and, resting her head on Tara’s shoulder, started to type for herself.
Wiccanfoo: Anything you don’t want to do you don’t have to.
Wiccanfoo: And if you felt you had to just go then we wouldn’t stop you… if you thought it was the only other way.
Willow knew without looking that Tara wasn’t altogether happy with her typing that, she heard the intake of breath, but they both knew it was true. There was nothing they could, or would, do to stop Toni leaving them if that was her decision. It was a question of not giving her a reason to think of it.
And there was no reason to think they knew better either, not that Tara – least of anyone – ever would. Willow wasn’t the big knowledge girl. In this matter, neither was Tara. Toni didn’t know Rupert or Jenny. If anyone here, or soon to be here, could decide what was best for Toni, then it was Toni herself.
Wiccanfoo: But you have to get the facts first. Will you do that?
Able to type without looking at the keyboard, even at this strange angle, she’d been able to watch Toni’s face the whole time. And as the words, ‘Yes and thanks’ came up on the screen, Toni seemed to be more at ease than she had been.
Which was good because Willow was well aware that Rupert could be overwhelmingly English at first, which could be difficult to deal with until you got used to it. Especially when he was being all… official. How he’d do being English, official, and in type wasn’t something Willow was too sure about.
She did know his jokes weren’t going to translate too well. And on the old ‘dread machine’ as well… It would have been fun to watch if it weren’t going to be so serious.
Perhaps he just needed to learn to be good with his fingers. Perhaps she ought to ask Jenny about his skills there. Or not. Tara would be mortified – at least until she laughed.
Then there was a knock on the door.
*********************
-------------------------
If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in
Chance.------------------------
I love getting the chance to see Jenny and Giles. He is a sexy guy! I should type Rupert... Because he's not the same person as the Giles we know, not at all.
at: 8/27/03 11:18 pm
, spike's pump.. lol I love it.
aww.. sniff. 
Faith!