Fic: - The Sidestep Chronicle & Second Chronicle

[tiredsoul]

Now this was a part I was honored to be able to scamper in. You already know I loved it but it so deserves repeating.



The interaction between Willow/ little Faith and Jenny /Tara was precious. It just shows how close they’ve all gotten over the years to me. And how cute is it that Faith has Willow wrapped around her little finger? Nothing like giving in to a four-year-old. I can so relate to that.



Though, Grimmy, I can't see where you think Toni left with the intrepreter ...

Quote:

---

“Well, it says that they started to ring around for an interpreter. It doesn’t say what kind – but she’d left by half-past-six when they found one. It doesn’t say who ‘she’ was though.”

---

Poor Toni didn’t even wait around for the interpreter so she left the police station before they could get her story. The Sunnydale PD is still as clueless as ever. At least she left at 6 a.m. so the sun should be up, right? It better be.



Tara’s right in thinking that Toni is damn tired and most likely could do something foolish. They do have to find her if they’re going to be able to help her. She probably didn’t get too far.



Oh, and in response to your earlier comments, I do get to read it “fresh” … just a hell of a lot earlier than everyone else. I’d say I’m damn lucky there



Makes me a happy scamperer.



Thanks Katharyn. An excellent part.



--celia

---------------------------------

When innocence is shattered
... madness is inevitable
www.gotlicky.com

Edited by: tiredsoul at: 7/20/03 11:03 am

[Katharyn]

Hey thanks as ever ladies and gents...



Justin - Thanks for liking it. I truly enjoyed the Faith parts of that - more so because of what I got to do with the girls.



T/W have tracked Toni to the police staion - they haven't found her though. I think that, broadly, most vamps stay inside in the sunlight - its just the ones who are smart/old enough that go out...



Yeah that would be Dru and Darla.



Lucas... well you'll see Lucas in 117 I believe.



Notl33t - There is suspense? Where? I see it less cos I kow what is coming and when. At least when I can remember.



Let me join you in "Mmmm Take Charge Tara"



Sorry... back now. The spelling thing just came to me... I know what happens at work when my guys mispell and spoil my perfect databases GRRR!



I think Tara is putting her own past over the top of Toni's to some extent, but she is right to be worried too. Still, as you say, Toni is not supergirl... and she knows it. What she tries... you will have to read on for.



Teaser ain't I.



Thanks.



Grimlock - Lets be clear. Toni did not leave WITH the interpreter. The Interpreter never showed. They found on at 6.30am, Toni left at 6.00am. Just to avoid those urban myths *S*



Faith similiar to Faith... the way I see it Jenny is actually sort of similiar to (but not the same as) Faith(slayer). When she was younger I can see Jenny as being a little wild... but then she grew up. As such (kid) Faith is similar to her Mom and hence to (slayer) Faith.



Yeah, that makes sense. Remember this is PoV... opinions are not fact, just observations. Jenny might see it very differently.



Trampolines ARE evil. I agree.



Yup - Toni is NOT Dawn. Killing her makes nothing go away but Toni...



Actually I think they are right to find Toni. They know better than most that you cannot rely on killing all the demons, or "one big spell" even if it was possible for them to do it. Finding Toni is the easiest way to make Toni safe... or they could go do this spell, prepare for it and find Toni dead in the morning because a vampire was already out there?



I prefer them to think of the individual... Tara used to think of the majority and look where it got her.



Thanks.



Celia - Honoured? I like that. You may rise.



Would I be lying if I said that your exploits with your relatives had shaped how I redrafted this? After you told me a little about them, or rather that there were exploits... I imagined a scamperer and some tots... So no lie at all *S*



I like happy scamperers.



Thanks hun. Now go see to 128 for me. *wink*



Part 117 tomorrow.



Katharyn

-------------------------




If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.




------------------------

[Grimlock72]

Oops... you're right celia that report only states that once they HAD found an interpretator Toni had already left. Probably read that one to fast the first time around, shame on me :-)



Would be interesting to know why Toni is persistently running away from any help coming her way. At least she was smart enough to wait for dawn, unless that was coincidental. Where on earth does she expect to find shelter if she keeps running around/away ? I can understand her being upset, but she's definitly not helping herself by keeping running. Maybe all she needs is rest and sleep.



Given that Sunnydale PD at least knows about vampires, you think they have vampire-defenses (crosses, holy water) in their station ?? (saw _Terminator 1_ again, so I can picture a hostile being walking into a police station quite clearly :-)



Now why would Toni be so important to Tara ? Clearly we readers know quite a lot about Toni and want her to live but why does Tara focus on her so much (she hardly knows her) ? If they ever find Toni (and manage to establish a communication method miss Toni agrees with) they'll realise the greater threat. At this rate it's rather amazing some previous Big Bad didn't sneak up on Willow/Tara and killed them.



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[Katharyn]

Here you go Kittens... 117.

Katharyn

-------------------------
Title: The Sidestep Chronicle – Second Chronicle - Those Who Seek… (Part 117)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome. katharynrosser@hotmail.com Flames just demonstrate you have a tiny mind.
Spoiler Warning: Pretty limited. The story occurs in an alternate universe as set up in “The Wish” though reference is made to events that occur in both realities. Nothing is referenced that occurs after S5 though. Guess why? Most “spoilers” would be for the first chronicle of this fic rather than the show and if you haven’t read that then much of this will make no sense but you can try and get round it by reading the preface to Part 104 which summarises most of what went before.
Distribution This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens (This applies to all of the Sidestep Chronicle)
Summary: Everyone is looking for Toni…
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories. You know the drill.
Rating: R – a general rating for occasional content. Individual parts might be less than this level.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever – others couples as necessary but nothing unconventional.
Notes: Once more I beg forgiveness for my ignorance of how to write a deaf character well. In fact I beg forgiveness for being able to write nothing in particular well. What I lack in quality I like to think I make up for in quality *S*
Thanks To: All My Brilliant Beta Readers (AMBBR) Kerry (Forrister) and Jo (Wizpup) who for some reason signed right back up for this fic after seeing the size of the last one. No accounting for madness is there. And Celia (TiredSoul) who should have known better but signed up anyway. *HUGS* and Big Thanks to all of you. This is Kerry’s and all I want from her now is her own fic… I have been waiting long enough. At least you guys never knew you were waiting for it!! I am in agony here… teased all the time. Teased to death.



The Sidestep Chronicle – Second Chronicle

Those Who Seek

By

Katharyn Rosser


“You know babe, I thought we knew this town,” Willow said as they watched the sky start to turn red on the horizon. That was generally a bad sign when you were looking for someone in Sunnydale. It wouldn’t be long now until the sun was low enough to allow the vamps that feared it out into the world. It wasn't like it was a huge problem for she and Tara – at least one of them would have headed out later to do a patrol sweep anyway, but for a young girl who might not know the rules… it could be really bad.

“We do know it. We know where to go shopping, where the library is, what the best places for a picnic are – including the shadiest and most secluded spots…” Tara said and smiled as she counted them off on her fingers.

Willow thought it was nice that her girlfriend could find the humour – there was no point in being all grim. They could look and be less than grim. At least until they had something to be grim about. It was how they’d always got through the hunting after getting back to Sunnydale. They treated each night as opportunities to be together.

After counting on the one hand, Tara switched. “We also know where to find vampires, suck clubs, demon lairs… all sorts of the best attractions Sunnydale has to offer.”

“But not where someone might go to hide from all those things…” Willow mused “at least and not be found.” That was the trouble. People who could get away from the vampires and the bad things out there didn’t need their help and so they never got to look at the good hiding places. Just the ones that sucked and people who needed rescuing from them.

Or where the bodies were.

There was kind of a serious point in what Tara had jokingly said though, and Willow was willing to bet that her love didn’t even know what she’d implied. This whole life… How long… well, how long could they keep this up? Being in this town… and just knowing where to shop, have a picnic and get a book – along with where the demons hung out. Places to go like clubs were just places that stray, visiting, vampires might go to try to feed or cults targeted for the occasional large-scale sacrifice.

Not places to have fun at all – even though the Bronze had been reclaimed they hardly ever went there unless it was to stop some brewing evil. Too many bad memories of that place. She had memories that weren’t quite hers of this whole town but… The Bronze was something different. It was on a different level.

It wasn't that Willow wanted to go to a club – she danced even worse than she sang, which was in turn worse than how she matched her clothes and played basketball, and she was pretty certain that Tara wouldn’t want to go there either. Scratch that… very certain. Clubs weren’t Tara places anymore than they were Willow places. Maybe the occasional slow dance… but not in a club like the Bronze, a high school meat market. But clubs or the lack of them weren’t the problem.

It was just that… for all the good they did in town , and as happy as they were together and with their friends this life was… she never knew how to explain it – even to herself. Which was why she’d never really been able to say it to Tara. She’d tried… but how could you explain something that was just a feeling?

Willow couldn’t get over the idea that this life they led – this part of it – was unsustainable. The rest of it… Their studies, which were finally due to end in graduation this year, were more than fine. They both enjoyed those. Their friends, and some friends so close they were definitely family, were overwhelmingly of the good. And the love, oh the love and the loving… Warm. Wonderful. Hot and frequently wet – in the best traditions of what hot should be… But this, hunting, part of their lives, their penance if that was what it was supposed to be…

Where was that going? Her feelings said it was going nowhere at all. It was static, unchanging. Not part of the future, but dominating it too.

She couldn’t just get Tara to look at the future of this hunting. Of the absolute lack of a future in a sense they’d like to think was worthwhile now… Willow knew, along the line, it would probably still seem worthwhile – when the future was the present – but looking forward to it now…

She couldn’t look forward to this part of their lives continuing unchanged and think it was a good thing.

That was just the way it was.

Just as an insignificant, but with graduation looming more imminent, part of that, how hard it was going to be to hold down paying jobs… and do this? Or to go on and do post-graduate work. They’d worked hard up to now, but Willow knew that post-grad was an order of magnitude tougher. Much more demanding in study and reading time. And if they had a job… someone was going to expect them at a desk by eight or nine a.m. every morning. Without fail. That person wouldn’t care if they’d been out saving lives or even the world.

And that was if they even wanted to try and do both. Wanted being the operative word. Did they want to do this forever? Willow couldn’t honestly say ‘yes’… but she wasn’t exactly saying ‘no’ either. She’d do this with Tara for as long as Tara thought they needed to – for other people. Tara was the truest soul Willow had ever known. A part of her own soul, and she was the truest judge of what needed to be. What needed to happen. But… though she trusted her lover implicitly to make that choice, Willow just wanted something else in their future than this and if it had to be this then it had to be for other people, not to make up for something in the past.

She knew it would be. Tara wasn’t selfish… She wouldn’t keep this going just for their guilt – or just her own.

“Willow?”

Tara’s enquiry brought her back to the present. The present was, like the past, where they were doing this. And she needed to be here right now with her baby. The future could wait for them for a long time yet. The future was always there, you didn’t even have to look for it.

“I was thinking of Willy,” Tara repeated. “You know, wondering if maybe he might have heard something about her.”

Willow thought about that – this was why the now was as important as the future. There was a person in danger now. The problem was there pretty much always was. “I don’t think so, love. I mean it’s not his usual area of expertise. Even if one of his customers had… well, if she hadn’t made it through the day… Willy wouldn’t know about it. She means nothing to him or anyone he serves drinks to. He wouldn’t remember every person mentioned in passing by some demon.”

“She did make it through the day. And she’s still here in town,” Tara announced firmly.

Willow looked at her lover. She could see just how certain Tara was and she didn’t quite get that degree of certainty. The more that Willow felt, rather than thought, about it the more she had come to realise what might have drawn Tara to that place in the park last night. Willow felt something of that herself – not as urgently and not at the time either, but she did feel it. She was sure that she had and did – though she might just be believing it of herself after the fact to rationalise some things – feel something, if not as intensely as her love obviously had.

The girl was alive. She was pretty certain of that and she could accept Tara’s certainty too. There was something that made them believe it.

But… how could Tara know that the girl was still around, in town? Alive was one thing, still here was something else entirely. In her situation Willow would have wanted to leave Sunnydale as fast as she could. Just get out. Get away. Go home. She remembered that sort of situation…

She’d been in a cage though. She hadn’t had a chance to run.

And she’d died.

Now she was here though. With her girlfriend, so that was okay.

But she couldn’t get over the fact that if the girl stayed she’d die too though. Surely the girl had to know that? She said so.

“Unless we find her first,” Tara said.

“First?” Willow wondered. “So are we in a race?”

Tara looked at the sky, the setting sun. “I think so… I mean what would girl be doing in the sewers unless she was taken there? They wouldn’t just find her in there already and decide to have a snack. People don’t hang out down there – at least not unless there are any homeless and we know what vampires do to them.”

Sunnydale hadn’t had a homeless community in a long time now. The rules didn’t apply… They were the first to be taken.

Willow considered what Tara had said. “And why would they take her in there when they could feed anywhere within thirty seconds or so?” Tara nodded. “So they either wanted her for something else… or there’s something going on.” That had been Spike she’d nuked, after all – he had a big appetite, but he wasn’t one for hiding when he ate – at least not by reputation.

More a ‘I don’t give a shit.’

“They’ll want her if there’s something they don’t want us to know about – and we would know otherwise. I didn’t even think of it until after we got up this morning,” Tara said and started to head for another doorway to check if there was anyone there.

Willow was worried now. Not just about the girl – though she was important – she was worried about Tara too. She’d seen this before. Tara was worried that by failing to realise earlier… she might have got the girl killed – even though she hadn’t. Yet, anyway. Or worse. That was the sort of burden Tara put on herself all the time, just more specifically this time than the whole of Sunnydale.

And Willow hated that burden being there. Weighing her love down when she should be free from that sort of thing. Tara could do her best but she didn’t have to be so guilty when that wasn’t good enough.

Worked in theory… but Willow felt some of that guilt too. It was never just Tara’s failure – if there was any – it was their failure. Willow refused to believe that they failed that often though. Sunnydale was a better place than it ever had been since the Master had risen… Maybe even before that. Kids had always been told about being out after dark.

Maybe that ‘goodness’ was why Tara was feeling this now, why they both were. It was the difference between what they had known in recent years and what was happening now. Maybe…

“You can’t worry about when you thought about it babe,” she said to Tara as she checked the other side of the back street. She’d been there too – she hadn’t thought about it either. They were intelligent women and even though it was Spike, and she’d known that Drusilla would probably be close by, she hadn’t considered what the emergence of a girl from the sewers meant. Not until right now. Tara had beaten her to the conclusion.

Spike definitely, wasn’t one to skulk in sewers at night and if anyone should have realised that it was Willow who ‘knew’ who he was. What he was capable of.

But they couldn’t be expected to think of everything – and they both thought the girl was still alive… Willow supposed Tara was looking more to the idea that she might not stay that way than how they thought she was right now.

“I have to worry about that,” Tara confirmed. “What it might mean and not just for her.”

Do you? Willow wondered. Maybe that aspect was better suited to being Rupert’s territory? He was trained for it after all. But he hadn’t thought about it either, when they’d told him about what had happened. He’d just been more interested in the recently departed Spike, and whether they could really expect Drusilla to be in town too.

Willow knew very well that Drusilla wasn’t a skulker either. Drusilla wouldn’t hide, and she might even come after anyone who was involved in the end of her paramour. Their biggest hope was that the two vampires might have fallen out and Spike had been here alone.

She didn’t debate the point with Tara though. It wasn’t something to discuss now. It was, instead, for some time later - after they found the girl and after all of this went away. Then… then they would have to talk about it. She’d tried before but…

Willow sighed. They were so, so happy, but sometimes she just wanted all of this… this other stuff in their lives to go away. It was selfish she supposed, which she regretted, and she did want to help this girl. She wanted to help anyone who ever needed their help. But…

She sighed again.

Where was the future in all that?

What was it?

Fine… no one knew the future. But couldn’t they try and shape it for themselves instead of letting the present twist and change until the future was a foregone conclusion? They’d struggled free of prophecy and fate only to hand themselves over to pre-destination?

No thanks.

“She’s not here,” Tara concluded, “But we’ll find her, Will. I promise.”

There was an unspoken ‘we have to’ in there and Tara obviously took the sighs as signs of frustration. Frustration about the girl rather than the restrictions that always seemed to be on them. She had to concentrate on the girl though. Their future was years off. For now they were in the present – and so was the danger for the girl they were looking for.

They were only halfway down this, the latest of many back streets, but they hadn’t been as quiet and stealthy as they would have been on the hunt because they wanted to attract attention of anyone else who was out here and get them away from her. If the girl was out here they wanted her to look and see them. They had saved her, maybe they’d do it again. They were hoping she’d take that into consideration despite her fear of them. Anyone else who was listening for trouble would have scrambled away right now – most creatures in this town knew who they were - or learned quickly. Willow knew that Tara was probably right too. And thinking of getting away… “How are we going to get her to listen to us?” Willow wondered aloud as they met in the middle of the street, gently touching hands as they often did just to affirm and renew their connection with each other. Walking it was hands, standing behind the other hair and necks. Sitting… elbows were good for when they were sitting.

“I don’t know,” Tara said sadly. “But we have to. She’s all alone out there.”

Tara had tried something magic based once and possibly driven this kid away with her best of intentions, so she was feeling the guilt now. Willow wasn't sure it was that simple at all but it was certainly what it looked like. They couldn’t try that again to communicate with her. Which meant more mundane methods.

“How do you even know she’s still here?” Willow asked her. Tara had seemed so certain before and Willow didn’t understand how she could be. She had feelings of her own about this whole situation, but Tara was so much more certain than a simple feeling.

“It’s because they killed her Dad. She’s not going anywhere,” Tara responded simply.

And as Tara said those words Willow believed it too.

Absolutely.

-------------------------------

She was used to sleeping on the floor now – she’d been doing it for a while. Toni had always liked her big bed. Dad had moved down to a single once Mom had left, before Toni even really remembered, and that had left them with one big bed they had nothing to do with. Once she was big enough to have a real bed of her own instead of a kids one then it had become hers.

Once it had been like her whole world. She’d been so small and the bed had been so big… It had been like an expedition – in some of her earliest memories – to get from one side of it to the other. At least that was how she remembered playing the games anyway, crawling under the duvet and exploring. She’d got bigger and the bed had felt smaller – but it was still way bigger than she needed. The bed, her room, and her Dad had still kind of been her whole world though – for a long, long time.

Maybe one day she’d share the bed, the room, with a special guy. He’d never get to meet her dad though. Dad would have wanted to meet the boy who she got to like one day and he’d never be able to. It wasn’t fair at all.

She wondered if she would ever get to go home to her too big bed, and an empty house. There was no one left for her… but she’d still have her bed at least. Not much, but it was something familiar she could still dream about getting back. Beds were important. She’d never really been able to settle into hotel bedrooms, or other strange beds, for a few nights when they went anywhere. That meant she didn’t sleep and eventually it was being tired that did her in. Once she’d really slept… well, it was okay then.

He wasn’t going to be able to take her anywhere again, not on vacation, not to a track event… but she’d have been happy to stay home with him forever if she could just have him back. He was gone though – he wasn’t coming back. Ever. She wasn’t going to see him again.

Not ever.

So it really didn’t matter where she slept. Now the floor seemed to be okay, but even in the cage she’d had more room than this. She was cramped here, forcing herself into a tiny corner. But that was okay – she wanted to make herself small. She didn’t want to be found. She didn’t want to be remembered. She didn’t want to remember what happened, but she couldn’t forget.

Dad was dead and no one cared. The police didn’t care… They’d just told her to wait. And wait. And wait. Even when she’d written them the note that said what why she was there, that he was dead, they’d still wanted her to wait.

Always waiting.

People were dying down there and they were keeping her waiting forever? Leaving hadn’t done anything for anyone though but she’d just been so tired. Tired physically, exhausted mentally. Sick of the fake sympathy they showed her without asking her why they should be sympathetic.

They’d been bored. It had been a night shift and when they thought she wasn't looking she saw those same, sympathetic, officers laughing and joking.

Her Dad was dead. People were trapped, being killed. And they’d been laughing at something?

Dad was dead. And she probably wasn't ever going to see that bed again was she? They didn’t care, she’d just needed to hide out and rest somewhere - anywhere. The officer hadn’t even looked surprised when she handed the note over.

‘My Dad is dead.’

And they’d barely even flickered emotionally. Not in any way that was real. It was more like, a shrug on her face. More like the officer was showing she was bored. Where were the detectives? Where were the people who were going to go and find that sewer full of vampires and kill them all?

Why weren’t they doing something?

Maybe there had been a little real sympathy on the Officer’s face. But most of it… most of it had been like, ‘what another one?’ or something. Maybe they hadn’t believed her, not without more details. Her colleagues had been a little nicer after that but it was professional niceness – not real sympathy. She knew the difference between people’s expressions – she’d relied on knowing that sort of thing for a long time now.

Toni hated her, the desk sergeant. At least she’d wanted to.

Her Dad was dead and she, that police officer, hadn’t even really and truly cared. But, though Toni had left, that was mainly because she needed to sleep. She had to sleep – to be alone and let the dark claim her. She hadn’t been able to keep going like that. Not after everything that had happened. She’d just wanted to get away, curl up somewhere and…

Rest. Forget for as long as the dark would hold her.

There hadn’t seemed to be any point waiting and waiting and waiting there. Not when they obviously didn’t really care… and not when whatever they did nothing would change the fact that her Dad was still dead and no one down there had helped him. So why should she have helped them?

She was sorry about that now, but she could go back another time. During the day, when she’d slept for a few days. She would… except…

If she’d stayed they’d have sent her places she didn’t want to go either. Fostering, if she was lucky, some sort of kids home if she wasn’t. Even that would be better than living with her Mom though. Mom who hadn’t wanted a deaf baby and certainly wouldn’t want a deaf teenager she didn’t even know now over a decade after she’d left. She might even have a new family – which Toni didn’t want to go near. But the gene which has made Toni deaf was one from that side of the family. If she’d had more kids… They might be deaf too. Had she run out on them too?

The ‘B’ word always seemed to come to mind when Toni thought of that woman.

So that had been another reason why she’d left, and then she’d had to think of where she was going to be safe in this town without any money. Where she could sleep and not have to worry about being robbed or murdered. Bitten… The police station had been a safer place than the streets… So, looking around once she’d gotten out of there into the breaking dawn, she’d seen just one place that was off the streets.

This place. It hadn’t been easy to get to and if it hadn’t been for the scaffolding because work was being done then she wouldn’t be here at all. She couldn’t have gone through the door because there was security downstairs in the lobby. But she was safe enough here she was sure of that. No one would know to look for her here. No one would think of it. There was just a small metal access panel that must have led to the inside. She already knew that it wouldn’t budge and the hinges were all rusted up too.

If it was all rusted up then no one came up here from the inside and without the scaffolding outside she wouldn’t even have been here. Why would anyone look for her here?

It was cramped and she either had to huddle up or wrap herself around the contents of the alcove but it was sheltered and it was hidden and so it was safe. She’d worried about being found by the builders during the day… but what was the worst that would happen? They’d take her back to the police and she’d already have got some sleep which was all she wanted. Rest… the ability to forget for a little while.

That, being found, was okay, she supposed. But they hadn’t been working up here at all during that day. It had been pretty deserted really – no vibrations from the building tools, no one interrupting her at all. This building – though obviously in use – didn’t seem to be on a busy road either. Trucks, big ones, could resonate through the road and stone to wake her up sometimes. Not here though. So she’d been able to sleep right through from when she got up here and laid down on her jacket to when eventually she woke late in the afternoon to the sun shining down onto her face. And she was starving hungry. Despite that though she’d sat there and her thoughts had taken her.

Dad.

Mom.

The police.

Those women who’d done… something that had saved her and yet had scared her too.

Dad was dead.

Eventually she’d found she needed to go and find some food as well as a bathroom – that was becoming more important too. She pulled aside the plastic sheeting that covered her hiding place and looked out over the town. The sun was starting to set already. She hadn’t meant to be thinking for so long but she’d just got lost. She’d wanted the workers to leave the area so she could get down without been seen – but night time was their time as far as the movies said and she was getting close to being caught in their time – their place.

This whole damn town that had cost her so much.

If they came out of the sewers – she had to assume they did.

Now she was going to have to take a chance. She had to go and find a bathroom and some food… she had that ten dollars after all and then she was going to come right back here to decide what she was going to do tomorrow.

’Cos ten dollars and a cubby-hole couldn’t be her future. She knew that. Dad was dead and he wasn't there to help guide her anymore.

She was alone. She had her own race to run now and somehow she had to do that as best she could even though she didn’t know the layout of the track. She pulled aside the sheeting and slipped out, stiff from the awkward position she had been forced into even when awake up there, out onto the scaffolding and climbed down into the streets of Sunnydale.

-----------------------------

He was going to kill her, this kid, so bad. This had not been a good day for him at all. Lucas had been waiting for her outside the police station. Well, in the trees nearby anyway. He’d waited. And waited. And hours had passed. People had come and gone – even in the middle of the night – but there hadn’t been any big movements that would have indicated the police were going to do something as deeply stupid as trying to raid the sewers.

They probably wouldn’t even be able to find an unsealed entrance anywhere near their destination. That was one of their security measures they’d had in place. All the entrances from the sewers were a good distance from the lair. Aside from which, if they did get in then Darla would have had them all killed. Lucas was keen to avoid that – he knew killing them would just bring more police with bigger weapons. When police died… more police came.

And eventually there would have been the Feds. Not that they would do any better, or shouldn’t have done anyway unless the rumours about Cleveland were true… He hadn’t been able to make Darla understand that not all humans were just cattle. Edible sure, but any Feds were going to be trouble. They were government and that would mean… Who was he though? Darla wouldn’t listen to him about this. She’d kill them and there would be consequences.

There were dark stories coming from Cleveland about government monster squads. Humans capturing – not just killing – demons and vampires to do experiments on them. This wasn’t a Slayer, it was something worse. Lucas had worked in a college lab before he’d become… he knew what happened in animal experiments. He hadn’t given a frag about the animals even then. He didn’t care about the demons over in Cleveland now … and other than Drusilla and himself he wouldn’t care who was caught by the government guys if they came here – just so long as the Order survived and he, eventually, ruled it.

But he didn’t want to be that lab rat.

So in the end he was pretty concerned about what this kid might be telling the police. If she was telling them anything at all? Nothing had happened and nothing was happening. If the kid had mentioned humans in cages… being killed and eaten – but not in that order – then the police would have been out there already.

They weren’t going anywhere.

Maybe they didn’t care about what she told them? Maybe they knew better?

Maybe Darla had some sort of tap into the police department at a high level – but he doubted that. She didn’t have the patience to spend on a fawning human who wanted to be immortal – which was usually what the deal was in such cases.

When the kid had come out though – and she’d been alone – the sun had been creeping into the sky. He’d been able to see the stain of red growing on the horizon which was when he’d had to make the choice. It was already too late to get back to the entrance to their section of the sewers. If he went after her then… she could run and he might have been pulled away from any form of shelter.

Dusted by default. Not an attractive option.

Or he could see where she went, without being spotted and hide out somewhere around there. Still watching her. Still obeying Darla. Then he could kill her when the sun went down again. She didn’t have a home here – she couldn’t keep him out that way which would make it much easier. So he’d been there, shaking nervously in the shade, all day, terrified that a reflection from something would set him on fire – just watching the spot she had chosen for herself. She’d probably been safer from the sun than he had been until late in the afternoon – and that raised the possibility, in his head, of turning her.

Darla was very strict about turning humans. Food was food and the ones to be turned in Sunnydale would be chosen by her alone – turned by her too. She didn’t want any competition to arise against her – which was why she hadn’t been too bothered by the death of Spike. Considering it though, and Lucas had a lot of time during the daylight hours when he was hiding from the sun to consider all sorts of things, the death of Spike was a clear sign of a human who was worthy of taking Spike’s place in the vampire throng – just as Lucas himself hoped to take Spike’s place in… well Drusilla.

There was, or would be, an opening and the girl was obviously strong. Just because she’d run didn’t mean that she wasn’t strong. She’d run hard and fast to get away from Spike. A girl like that – as a vampire – well she’d be able to run down any prey that ever looked like getting away. With a vampire’s sense she’d be like a bloodhound – but fast too. She could be a valuable tool for the Order.

She could be a valuable tool for Lucas in what was to come.

Why had no one ever thought about that before? Taking human’s who had physical gifts and turning them just for those gifts. Darla and others were always more interested in either destroying a ‘good’ soul or picking qualities, such as cruelty, which they wanted to enhance through bringing the demon into it.

Well, Lucas’s theory on all that was pretty simple. The soul was replaced by a demon. Cruelty could be taken as read – as could bloodlust, lack of morality and a hedonistic desire to enjoy yourself before, during and after eating. Given all those qualities why select based on the personality of a human? A priest, turned, would be just as cruel as most other vampires – he would only remember what it was like to be ‘good and virtuous.’ Why not select those who had physical advantages that would only be enhanced by the gifts death would bring?

It had struck him as something of a revelation.

Darla had told him that Spike had been a poet, and look what had happened to him. The soul of a poet – famous for being a survivor and cruel vampire. Now, if he had been an athlete then the girl would never have escaped him and he’d still have been here.

And Lucas himself wouldn’t have been out here all day in imminent danger of immolation.

Considering turning her had passed the time and opened up all sorts of thoughts in his head. By carefully picking and choosing, say at the UC Sunnydale campus for example, he could create a group of followers that would be superior in every way to Darla and the Order she’d created and just as cruel.

Why should only those she’d sent to other cities be allowed to expand the Order – just because she couldn’t be there? It made no sense… even if she was trying to avoid attracting attention to them here in this very dangerous place.

This, his idea, was something that he needed to use only when the time was right. He could either give her the idea or he could use it all for himself. The girl could have been the test. But Darla wanted her dead. Turned would still be dead – and that would give him his test subject anyway – but he knew very well what Darla had meant. Dead. Dead. Dead dead.

Not undead dead or a little bit dead.

All the way dead forever and ever but without evidence.

Darla could quite easily force him to sacrifice himself for disobeying her, if he chose to go down that road. She would do that too. She’d, apparently, learned it from the Master. It was traditionalIt was the way that the Order was supposed to work. Absolute obedience in exchange, when the day came, for a share in absolute power over the world. And it was better, he mused, than being handed to Drusilla’s not so tender mercies. He wanted that dark queen to torture him – but not to the point of a final death.

It was the bargain, or had been in the old days. The Master’s lowliest minion would be held up and exalted by the rest of the world when the day came. So it had been written. They would bathe in the fresh blood of human animals every night.

Except this was Darla he was being forced to deal with. Not the, fabled, Master and she didn’t have the belief that her predecessor and creator seemed to have possessed, not in her subjects anyway. She had altogether too much belief in their loyalty though.

But then she was here and he was long gone – it was no use wishing things were different. This was how they were and he had to deal with that. One day she would have to deal with him.

Sometimes Lucas wished he’d known the Master. Just to see how the Order should have been run. The Master had done so for centuries and Lucas wasn't convinced that Darla really knew what she was doing. She gave orders… but were they the right ones? The Master was the ideal he wanted to return to. True devotion and absolute power.

Darla had just assumed his mantle.

She was keeping it warm… or would have been if her flesh hadn't been so cold.

He admitted that there was no one else, in terms of age and experience, who could have salvaged the Order after what the Witch and the Slayer had done to it by killing the Master and his favourites. But… was age and experience really the key? Wasn’t attitude and intelligence something to do with it? He could… Lucas had ambitions. He wasn't going to be a flunky to Darla forever. He would wait for an opportunity, and serve her faithfully until that came along, but he would have preferred it sooner rather than later.

And with his specially chosen brethren… Ones he’d turned himself and were more loyal to him than he was to his own sire, Darla, he would be able to recreate the Order in the image of what it had been – with suitable modifications for the modern world. He was pretty sure that whoever controlled the Hellmouth controlled the Order. He could rule most of California from here – with this sort of power at his disposal. Power Darla refused to use because she was afraid. The Master had been trapped, never afraid.

California would satisfy him for a few centuries he was sure. Allow him to make slow progress out into the rest of the country, maybe into Mexico first. Slow progress was best because it would ensure that the humans, thinking in terms of no more than four years between elections, never managed to oppose him effectively. Mexico would be easier to start out with perhaps. Canada was there after Oregon and Washington State… but who wanted Canada? Besides it was absolutely full of shape shifters by all the accounts he’d heard. Very dangerous. The occasional werewolf that came to Sunnydale was bad enough – they’d lost a few of the Order to them. And up there were shape-shifting bears as well.

And much worse than that. Canadians.

Canada he might well leave to its own devices – at least until he had a punishment duty for one of his future followers.

It was planning domination of North and Central America that had occupied his mind until the girl had finally emerged from her hiding place behind the scaffolding sheets. Could it be she was the first step? It would be a shame not to turn her. She moved so easily over and through the metal poles…

And she had so kindly waited until the sun was dipping before emerging. She could have gone anywhere she liked and he would have been stuck in shadows over the last few hours. But she hadn’t. Until the last, hated, rays disappeared he could stay on one side of the street, follow her and never be touched by sun for a couple of blocks at least. Even then he had his coat to cover bare flesh. But she didn’t head off immediately which made him pause too. Even though she looked around, expecting trouble perhaps, she would never be able to spot his shelter

His impression was that she didn’t seem to know where to go. And that gave him a little more time to think – this time about her and what he was going to do. She didn’t know who he was. She wouldn’t expect him in the daylight – and it kind of was still daylight. But the buildings here, together with the low angle of the sun at this time, meant that the whole place was pretty much fair game for him already. There were spots of sun, but he wasn't going to be beholden to the breeze not blowing the trees in a certain way for survival.

She could be turned.

Or left dead and unbitten. Darla had wanted no evidence. Screw that. He was hungry, it had been a long, active, day. He needed food. As long as the body wasn't left behind he would be fine.

Either way he could do it here and now.

Maybe he’d decide whilst he was feeding on her – it wouldn’t be too late until the very last moment as her heart slowed. And what would Drusilla think of him turning the human who killed her beloved Spike? That was a factor that had to be weighed. He had to assume she’d know…

Maybe… well, the girl wouldn’t actually be that human anymore… He supposed Drusilla might like to torture her for a few decades anyway. That could be fun, something they could share… and something that would really bring him to the dark goddess’s attention. Keeping the girl undead was looking more and more attractive. A gift for Drusilla that would just keep on giving and he could still prove his point about the selection of humans to Darla – if he chose to make it.

He could, in a few years, even take the girl, his creation, back from Drusilla and ‘free’ her. Tie her to him more firmly than the bonds of being her sire ever would. Rescuer… and evil hero. That had possibilities for bringing her around. He straightened his coat and stepped from his hiding place into the street.

He didn’t have to hide anymore.

The fiery kiss of the sun couldn’t touch him as long as he stepped carefully.

The only heat here would be her blood passing over his lips.

The only decision what he was going to do with her then.

*************************




-------------------------


If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.


------------------------

[notl33t]

And the plot just keeps thickening. My pulse rate is quickening. Eeeenteresting. Double wow. You do realize that this is going to keep my brain in a true tangle...plotting about the plot that you've already plotted. Sorry, had to print out graphs yesterday. Plot on the mind.



W/T have issues that they just haven't talked about yet. And I think these issues are just going to plague them for a long time, beyond the current situation of the Order. It's rather sad because, as Willow kept pointing out, their relationship is great. It's wonderful. It's magic. It's hot...and wet. But communication is so key to any relationship...and for some reason, they just won't talk about a big part of their relationship: the future. Tara can't imagine her life without being able to help people by killing vampires and endlessly patrolling. Willow doesn't know how their relationship and even their own individual lives can continue with the constant vigilance in place. Tara won't speak about it because she's absolutely sure about her destiny...killing vamps. Willow won't talk about it because she fears that Tara won't budge from her current position or may even cut Willow out entirely. But Willow knows that a future life with just the patrolling, while kind and thoughtful for their fellow human beings, isn't a life at all. How can W/T manage to talk to each other and perhaps resolve the issue? Should they try to enlighten people in Sunnydale (they might need a lot of help to get rid of all the Order)? Should they get outside help? I don't know why, but I think this path is interesting. It reminds me of a puzzle that many writers and dreamers ponder: how does a story end? Does a hero end up being a hero constantly and forever? Is there a happy ever after? I think its an interesting thought and I hope you can come up with some kind of an answer...in the very far, far off future, of course.



But to the real problem...Toni. W/T are after her and so is Lucas. In fact, he's just been hiding out waiting for her to come out into the night. I think Toni actually did really well. If I had gone to that police station and faced people who didn't seem to care very much that my dad had died, I would have gone straight up crazy on them. Believe you me, I may have broken something. That something probably being me...but she took it rather well. And she has a plan...a very short plan, food and stuff, but she's taking little steps back to being a person again instead of a victim. Go Toni! Go straight to W/T, please....I beg of you. Do it for me and my weak heart, please.



Lucas...why do you insist on making him so interesting? Oh, gods above and below, he's really beginning to make me like him. He's got patience; its limited, but its patience. And his plans for world domination...I could see them working. Its plausible, he just needs a little time. I think I'm really empathizing with him because, well, all he really wants, besides control of the Order, is a snugglebunny. A psychotic snugglebunny, but a snugglebunny nonetheless. And really, I want one, too. I think everyone does. Minus the psychosis, but still, its a healthy need. He's a healthy kind of...vamp, yo.



And as much as I hate to admit it, I'd love to see Toni as a vampire. A small part of me does. I have a vague fascination with the darker side of people, as you've probably gathered. Since she's deaf, she'd remain deaf, but with her other heightened senses and speed, she'd be pretty remarkable. And what she would do with all of that would be up to her. I think she's pretty defiant, and even with the loss of her soul, the fact that the Order brought about the end of her father...why its enough to make a vamp stake another vamp, I believe.



There is another part of me that wants W/T to find Toni before Lucas can maul her and/or turn her. Ooh, I'm shivering with anticipation. Or is that the juiced up A/C unit over my computer? In any case, I'm enthralled with the direction this story is going in.



-Noe

[Grimlock72]

Do ALL vampires have visions of world domination or what ? Lucas at least seems to think things through a bit more, but still he strives to be the Big Bad. Obviously he hasn't realized that how 'bigger' the Bad, how shorter it's life-span. He either underestimates the SDPD or they really haven't adapted at ALL (for which they deserve to die then). Send in a SWAT team with flame-throwers and those vamps WILL be in trouble.



I like Willow thinking about their (lack of) future. By patrolling and hunting for vamps, both Willow and Tara effectivly sacrifice part of their life so others can have a happy one. Can't keep doing that forever though, for starters Willow and Tara won't life forever... education of Sunnydale inhabitants is key here I think.



Toni obviously has never been to a police station before. Waiting is normal and four hours is almost short. I had to report theft at a Polish police station once and not speaking the language I effectivly had the same problem Toni had. Took ages to get a translator as well... spend nearly a day at the station just to get some paper for the insurance.



Anyway, it's good Toni got some sleep. I wouldn't like to see her get turned, mostly because Tara would blame herself for the rest of her life (like she seems to do for all other victims). Lucas' observations on how to select people to be turned for interesting to read, but after all his thinking I was like; get ON with it already... either attack or retreat.. don't just sit there!



I so verrrrry much agreed with Willow's thoughts in this chapter. Doubt that comes as a suprise to anyone here :-)



P.S. Does Canada really have shape-shifting bears ??





Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 7/23/03 3:12 am

[Cicca]

I've been away so I've missed out on keeping up!



Bouncing Faith! She's a cutie!



Willow and Tara are still wonderful, of course. Lucas has more brains than I gave him credit for. Go figure.

And Canada!



As for who I was picturing coming back.... That would be Angelus.

“Spirit of Sappho, ... I summon you. Come fill me with your big, dykey power!” ~ Final Exam by Tommo

[tiredsoul]

I seem to be scampering slowly...



I can see Tara’s concern toward Toni and why she is so determined to find and help her. Toni is someone Tara can understand and relate to, even though she doesn’t know her. Not really anyway. But she’s seen the fear and fight of her as they saved her from Spike. She’s been in her mind and felt the fear there. She knows that Toni’s dad is dead. And more than anyone else, Tara knows what all that feels like … all too well.



They’ve got to find her. Right?



I can’t imagine how alone Toni must feel. A strange and dangerous town, no money, and no one to trust, let alone to turn to.



Lucas is one with some grand ideas, isn’t he? I can see that the last thing he’d want to do was to admit failure. Those are the vamps to be most afraid of in my opinion.

Quote:

---

Either way he could do it here and now.

---

Run Toni, run!!!



Again you are racking up the tension as you do so well. What will happen to Toni? Will she get away? Will Willow and Tara find her in time or will the big bad vamp take a bite?



So many questions … but so looking forward to the answers.



Thanks for the fun



--celia

---------------------------------

When innocence is shattered
... madness is inevitable
www.gotlicky.com

Edited by: tiredsoul at: 7/24/03 10:54 pm

[Katharyn]

Hey guys, thank you as ever...



Noe - The plot is eating too much, it needs to go on a diet *S* You can plot out what I have plotted and what you think I am plotting by all means.



Have you been reading my notes?? *S* Issues are there for a reason - but lets be clear... they are not in trouble. They just have different visions and I am not going to say Willow's is right either.



I think Tara avoids the conversation because... like in the show I am not sure they ever fought and know how to - then get over it. I am not advocating fighting at all, just that maybe (aqnd this is not necessarily where I will take this) she is afraid of it... and afraid of what it would mean to admit willow is right. (If she is)



They KNOW that they would never have a real problem over it... they would find a way. Perhaps Tara is afraid of what that way is... and to be fair Willow is hardly forcing the issue is she?



This will be resolved in the fic. In the future... a way off yet... but it will be. IT is kind of the point. I will not set anything up that I do not clear up this time, last time it was minimal, but this time all issues and characters will be resolved.



Toni... she will be resolved too, one way or the other.



Lucas - I have no real interest in Lucas. But I hate to make throwaway vampires with nothing to them. If I get into their heads I think they, like everyone else, are unique. Then I found I kind of liked him so I chose not to throw him away. He too gets a resolution. Healthy kind of vamp? LOL



Toni as a vampire - eek. Okay so I thought of it, so its my fault. YOu might guess I like the darkness too.



Thanks so much



Grimmy - Do all vamps dream of world domination? When you are part of something like the Order then... maybe. Darla isn't interested in those just listening to their stomachs. Its a balancing act.



Not sure SWAT has flame throwers though. *S*



An important thing to remember is that T/W are happy right now... Willow has no complaints about their life as it is now... just what might (and looks likely) to be. The future is just the present as it will be... When is the future? By the time you think you are there, you are actually happy in a new present.



Lets not get too caught up on the future - except as a concept and idea. That would be my advice.



Toni, I would hate to see her as a vamp but I might do it *S*



As for Lucas... its just my style. His thoughts occured in a second or too... Don't confuse the thought for delay *S*



Canada - bears... Why not? I figure there must be alot of stuff out there in the wilderness. I think (memory girl??) I said there was a were-sloth in the Amazon in first chronicle. So why not?



Thanks



Cicca - Bouncing Faith - I loved it. That niceness was my fave part so far. When you can wrap W/T up in happiness then things are bound to turn out well.



Lucas has depth, like the shallow end of a pool *S*



Canada... Well I keep being nasty to Canada, but its my opinion of an American thing (and vice versa I am sure) rather than my own opinion exactly. We will see more jibes about Canada. No offence!



AS for who your pictured coming back... I can say nothing. I won't even say anyone IS coming back. But that guess is... interesting. Very interesting.



Celia - Hi sweetie! *HUGS*



I think, perhaps, Tara THINKS she understands Toni because if Toni feels as she felt then she can understand herself, in those days, a little better. Does that make sense?



But yeah, there is a kinship there. Of kinds, I wonder if Toni would think of it the same way?





Do they have to find her? I guess so... One way or another. Before or after.



Run Toni Run...



Erm slow down... I can't keep up.



What will happen to Toni? - she gets a dog and moves to Montreal.



Willow she get away? - see above.



Willow the big bad vamp take a bite? - Maybe...



Thanks for the support sweets.



Part 118 tomorrow



Katharyn

-------------------------




If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.




------------------------

[heraldgal]

I started reading this last week and had to register and tell you how much I am enjoying it. I am only through part 47 so I have little to comment other than how much I appreciate this story. It is truly a pleasure to read. While the darkness is ever present, I really find the burgeoning relationship between Willow and Tara so enthralling and find it difficult to tear myself away from the screen, wanting to read it all at once, needing to see how it can all come together as you said in the beginning that it would. It is good to know that I have much more to experience and that you are continuing to add further. I guess that is as good of a hint that the two girls are still together as I am going to get.



Cathy

[Katharyn]

Part 118 is below kittens, but first a welcome to Heraldgal

Thanks so much for reading it, liking it and saying so. I love to know people are out there reading this and feedback is the only way I get that from that so thankyou so much.

I hope you continue to enjoy this. I have a feeling you are about half way through the darkness... then everything gets lighter. And by the time you reach this, the Second Chronicle, the tone has completely changed. I hope you still enjoy it though.

Please feel free to continue to post questions, comments - even about the old stuff. I might have to look it up (as I havea bad memory) but I will be happy to respond to anything you want to know.

And yes, I am a feedback whore.

Thanks.

Okay - here is part 118. More Lucas for his fans, but lots of T/W first. I would be interested to know what people think of the "sapling" scene... We had some amusing times coming up with the version you see now.

Katharyn

----------------------------

Title: The Sidestep Chronicle – Second Chronicle - Delusions of Bluntness (Part 118)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome. katharynrosser@hotmail.com Flames just demonstrate you have a tiny mind.
Spoiler Warning: Pretty limited. The story occurs in an alternate universe as set up in “The Wish” though reference is made to events that occur in both realities. Nothing is referenced that occurs after S5 though. Guess why? Most “spoilers” would be for the first chronicle of this fic rather than the show and if you haven’t read that then much of this will make no sense but you can try and get round it by reading the preface to Part 104 which summarises most of what went before.
Distribution This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens (This applies to all of the Sidestep Chronicle)
Summary: Tara and Willow catch up with Toni.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories. You know the drill.
Rating: R – a general rating for occasional content. Individual parts might be less than this level.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever – others couples as necessary but nothing unconventional.
Notes: Yup, still not happy with how I write Toni. At least that will go away…
Thanks To: All My Brilliant Beta Readers (AMBBR) Kerry (Forrister) and Jo (Wizpup) who for some reason signed right back up for this fic after seeing the size of the last one. No accounting for madness is there. And Celia (TiredSoul) who should have known better but signed up anyway. *HUGS* and Big Thanks to all of you. Celia has her mind in the gutter, at least after she has chatted with Xita. She even though the original version of the sapling was suitable…



The Sidestep Chronicle – Second Chronicle

Delusions of Bluntness

By

Katharyn Rosser



This time, it was Willow who was sure she’d found the way they had to go. Tara didn’t know if her girlfriend was feeling as she herself had the previous night – like there was something pulling her in a certain direction… like dread… or more specific than that. More specific in the sense she didn’t know what it was at all. Maybe it was the same thing Willow was feeling or maybe it was just a hunch. Tara didn’t know and she didn’t ask. She trusted Willow’s feelings as much as she trusted her own. They hurried in the direction that Willow had initially pulled her in. Besides, she didn’t have any better ideas to put forward.

It was… Tara looked back down the long street that eventually disappeared down the hill… it was so very nearly sunset. The sun was framed between the two buildings at each side of the road, the last glimpses of that warming their backs. Not much time to do anything safely… and in certain places, the vampires could already be active making their way to the surface or through the shadows.

But if they were prone to do that she and Willow would have known about them long before now.

She wasn’t quite sure why they were so certain that vampires would be after the girl. She was certain though – and Willow seemed to agree with her. Maybe they just knew that one-way or the other a person like that girl wasn't finished with the vampires. The determination to escape, the courage she’d shown to fight back when she couldn’t run… It revealed a lot. It suggested that if the vampires didn’t come to her, then she’d go to them and try to do something on her own. Maybe it would take awhile for her to get to that place inside herself and realise she wanted more than to get away. She’d want some sort of revenge.

Tara knew that sort of feeling very, very well. She’d been through it and barely made it out the other side with her life, sanity and a pure heart. Perhaps the pure heart had faltered a little in the middle, and some times she’d felt like she was going mad… but Willow had brought her through it. Love of Willow. If this girl went that way, if that happened, if the girl went there, then… well, maybe she would get lucky. She might find some weapon that would kill the vampires and find a way to inflict death on them. Like fire, maybe. She could burn them out of wherever she went and found them without much trouble.

Even if she survived the encounter though…

She’d didn’t have a Willow to bring her through it though. Was there someone else she could love? Tara was convinced love was what was needed… otherwise surviving was just luck.

Maybe she’d even manage to get lucky twice.

Perhaps, even three times.

But every time this girl tried to do something about the vampires, the odds would shorten on her doing it again. Every time she did, she’d be gambling with her life. Not just her life – because life or death wasn't the end when it came to vampires. They could do things that would torture a person’s soul for much longer than that.

Willow had told her, just once, about the ‘sensation’, or the impression of the dark nothing she’d occupied whilst a demon was in her body. It seemed, if Willow was recalling something that had been in any way real, that there was no ‘heaven’ for those who were turned to vampires. If such a place existed anyway…

Whether the vampires chose to turn this girl or not they’d certainly get her though. Eventually, she’d die.

No matter how fast or far she ran, they’d get her eventually. She couldn’t kill them if she was running – assuming the girl would ever want to kill them and found a way to do that. Tara had trouble believing she wouldn’t but she knew she was biased. She’d done it and now she was imposing her experiences on the mindset of that poor, bereaved, kid. Perhaps she was even trying to make herself, as she had been back then, seem more ‘normal.’ But maybe the girl was a better person than she had been back then.

Maybe the feeling she and Willow were sensing was just because the vampires were after her for some reason? When they found her, they could try and figure that reason out – what the girl needed and why they were so drawn to making sure she was okay. Why they were feeling as they were about helping her – keeping her safe.

And thinking of feelings… there was a change… it was… suddenly urgent.

“Do you feel it?” Willow gasped as they practically ran up the sidewalk.

The question brought it home to her. Something was definitely starting to happen. Something that they thought they’d long since left behind. Something that they’d bypassed where they could and come through the rest of already in their lives. Something they shouldn’t have been interfered with by again. “I feel it,” Tara confirmed.

They looked at each other and Tara could see in her lover’s eyes that there was confirmation, not just of the sensation, but also what that might mean as it washed over her. It was as if by coming up the road they’d been following, they’d stepped through an invisible curtain - a place where destiny, prophecy or fate had some sort of hold of them again. They could feel it. It wasn’t that it was ‘there’ as such… more that there had been a complete lack of it in their lives for so long, and now that they could feel the pressure of it again – as a tangible thing – it was present again.

Tangible? It should have been intangible… once, it had just been a part of their lives and no one had ever known about it… including them. But it was back now. Something had changed by their choosing to come up this road. Maybe not for them, but something important they were supposed to be involved in had shifted. Except they weren’t supposed to be ‘there’ at all.

They were free of that thing. At least they were supposed to be free it – they’d fought to get free of it. They were happy and together – that was their fate. She not only felt it, she knew it. They’d met their fate, embraced it, and they didn’t want anything else. What had changed? Why had they… what had they done by coming up here? Going where they were going, had they opened a door for fate to get a hold of them again?

But… Destiny… Fate. How could they not keep running onwards? If they stopped - if they avoided it – well, then, Tara knew as well Willow did that the girl was going to get hurt in their absence. They both felt it in their bones, which was what had brought them here. They had to help this girl because they couldn’t be selfish… not about that sort of thing.

Being unselfish was what they owed the world – or at least what she owed it. She’d been selfish once, one long time, and people had been hurt. She was making amends for what had happened in their past by how she lived her life today. Loving Willow was a wonderful part of that life. Her friends were too, her family. She’d hurt the people in her family once, and she was glad they’d let her be a part of their lives and even wanted her to be part of Faith and Ben’s lives. She was going to make sure those children never had to suffer the curse of the monsters.

And how could they abandon the girl?

They had to help. It was just another small sacrifice to make. A selfless sacrifice of their efforts. They had a wonderful life together and Tara knew their life, as it was now, wasn’t a hindrance to what they had to do. Once upon a time, she’d worried if she should have dared be with Willow – if that was taking her desires further than she deserved to be allowed to. She’d been wrong to worry about that then and she might well be wrong to worry about anything now.

But something… something had changed here. Something important.

She wanted to stop. She wanted to go back through that ‘curtain’ to the place they knew and step away from what might be ahead of them. Except that she really didn’t. She just knew she should have wanted to. What she really wanted was to do the right thing… and there would still be them whatever else happened. Whatever else, there would always be them. Always and forever – that was the prophecy. That was what was fated for them – or at least a part of it. And they were going up this street – towards it, whatever ‘it’ was – together. The way that they were…

The way that they were fated to be. Together.

Fate didn’t have to be a bad thing at all. Did it? Hadn’t it given them each other – for always? No… not quite. Fate wasn’t a force – it was just the way things were. They’d given themselves to each other – nothing else had helped. Fate just told them the way it would be.

Then she realised just where it was that Willow was leading them. She’d rarely come at it from this direction. The apartment she’d lived in when working for the Mayor, and he’d left too her, wasn’t far away around the next corner but her old patrol routes, varied as they had been, had more often led her down this street, rather up it as they were going now.

“You know -” she asked Willow as they carried on going. “Where we’re heading baby?” she completed.

Willow might have nodded, they were pretty much running by now so it was tough to tell. Tara knew Willow was aware of it though. Feeling as they did now, especially around this place, was more worrying than it would have been anywhere else. It was, had been, the centre of so much of their past and what they’d done that was so wrong. They? No. Not really ‘they’ at all. Willow chose to share her penance because she felt she needed to, but it was still hers really. Just hers. Willow hadn’t been the person who’d done the things she blamed herself for. And this was the scene of one of the last things she had to do penance for.

City Hall.

They were heading right for City Hall. As soon as Tara was aware of where they were heading towards, she also knew it was where the girl was. Somehow, that knowledge came from inside – as some of the most important things did. It came from somewhere inside, which had always let her feel that she was within the grasp of the future, the past - or something – once again.

Once more, Tara glanced back down the way they’d come as they came to the edge of the plaza. The… she guessed it was the past… was definitely behind her now. Calling this a plaza was overly grand, she mused when she turned back to where they were going but it was an open, vaguely park-y, area bordered by buildings and one whole side by City Hall itself. And neither she, nor Willow, nor the buildings, were casting shadows anymore. Sundown. The sun was their ally… and it had gone for the next several hours.

That didn’t matter so much to them, but the sun was also the friend of a girl who didn’t have many too many local friends right now. Not if she wouldn’t allow herself to be helped – if she was so afraid of them that she ran again.

Not good. If she did that, it would be into the night – the dark where the demons were in the ascendancy. Or would have been if she, Willow and Rupert hadn’t stopped the demons of the night from gaining that upper hand.

The girl could still be in trouble though if she didn’t let them help. Tara had the feeling she already was. Surely it was the basis of the urgency she was feeling. Just because the demons no longer ruled the night, it didn’t mean the girl would be safe.

She slowed as Willow did the same, both looking around for where the girl might be – it was kind of tough to protect her, help her, if they couldn’t even find her. It wasn't something they’d ever had to do much. Even hunting demons, they were usually more interested in a fight than in hiding out from them. This was something new. And why did the girl even need protecting? Vampires rarely stepped out in the Sunnydale night anymore – at least not like they used to do. New ones to town, or the few that were created here, sure… but vampires didn’t seem to last long now. Natural selection had come into play with a creature that should have been entirely removed from the process. Immortality was nothing but a dream to those demons now.

The smart ones stayed away from this town or they… they stayed hidden? Did they stay hidden? Was that what had happened? Was that where…

Maybe such a hiding place was where the girl had come from - as unlikely as Willow’s description of Spike’s reputation seemed to make it. It was said he’d killed Slayers. More than one – it was good he had been fried if that was true.

Even if it wasn’t true.

It was, Willow had told her, even said that he’d deliberately hunted Slayers down to kill them. Not just got into a fight he’d happened to win – he’d wanted them. Tara remembered the way the vampire she’d once known as Willow, had celebrated the death of the Slayer she’d killed, Faith. And she remembered the way that vampire had wanted to celebrate the death of Faith. The blood of a Slayer was supposed to be… powerful.

Was that what Spike had wanted? Or had he been after the Kudos? He seemed to have got it, grudgingly at least. The stories were being told – he had been recognised in his time.

And now his time was over.

But the point was whether he was a vampire to go wading through sewers? One who’d killed two Slayers?

Tara had considered the idea of vampires hiding out last night - and again during the afternoon at Jenny’s - but she’d never really thought about it before because it was something which she’d never thought possible. Vampires killed and people in Sunnydale just hadn’t been dying. Had they allowed…? Had they let the vampires stay hidden? Just because they weren’t eating the locals…?

Well, that was okay then, she thought bitterly. They couldn’t have let it happen, could they? The locals were more important than anyone else? No. Not at all.

The girl wasn’t local. They pretty much knew that from their research this afternoon.

So what was she doing here?

Maybe she’d come here visiting with her Dad, her Dad who was dead now, and they’d just run into random trouble… but on the ‘we’re living on a Hellmouth’ side Willow was so fond of, maybe she hadn’t.

Spike, Willow had insisted, wasn’t a vampire that would have lain low though, which went against the idea of hidden vampires they might have missed. But then why had he been in the sewers chasing the girl? A girl like that… she could run. She’d run fast and she’d run a long way given how tired she’d looked. They’d watched her leave them behind in the park despite that though. It wasn't the run of someone in a panic, and Tara had seen plenty of those, even if she had been terrified of… both of them as well as the vampire. No, it was a measured run. It was the sort of run she’d seen from Faith, the first Faith she’d known. It was the run of someone who knew how to run.

As for the other Faith, Jenny’s daughter was hardly a runner yet. Maybe one day.

It was probably never something she or Willow would know how to do properly. They hadn’t been really running as such up this street to get here – they weren’t dressed for it either and, as a rule, it wasn't something that they’d had to do very much in the past, but they were out of breath now.

Quick enough now getting up the street, but slow getting to this point? They should have known this before. After all, they’d missed it and it had brought them… here. Tara couldn’t, or at least didn’t want to, believe it but she was more and more sure that they had in fact missed the problem.

They’d missed a nest of vampires or… They’d definitely missed something. Something was down there under Sunnydale. But there was something up here too. The girl was up here and she might know more about what had happened down there – if anything. And they were up here too. In fact, the girl was really up here. There she was, just standing there in the plaza – which was good because, it was going to be a lot easier to talk… no, not talk… communicate with her if they could actually get face to face with her.

Tara was a big believer in eyes, looking into them, and what they revealed to her.

She could look into Willow’s eyes for hours, at least if her lover didn’t fall asleep or get restless, and she knew that Willow saw a similar attraction in her own – which led to a real lack of restless there. Eyes… they really were the windows to the soul. Tara knew that truth better than most people perhaps. She’d seen the evil, malevolent and ultimately dead eyes of a creature that had been in the shape of the woman she loved even then.

And now, the last thing she saw at night, as well as the first thing in the morning, were the beautiful green, expressive and loving eyes of her girlfriend. The difference between the vision of perfection and the vision of evil was, substantially, in the eyes. She just hoped… she hoped that by looking them in the eyes, this girl would realise they weren’t there to do anything but help her and maybe she’d even give them a chance by not running again.

If she ran they’d never catch her… again.

Tara was pretty certain that she’d made a mistake the last time they’d met the girl by trying to touch her mind. She’d just wanted to be reassuring. To tell her that they would help her… and if it had been Willow she’d been trying to reassure it would have done exactly that. But this girl wasn’t Willow. No one was like Willow. This girl wouldn’t have even known that such a thing was a possible, let alone what it meant. The unknown, as well as the new, was always a little scary.

Maybe more than a little.

Aside from which… it was her mind. Tara had known that and she should have known better than that too. She’d just thought there was a more urgent need then. And there had been. She still believed that now – but it was still that girl’s own mind. There was no more personal space. She shouldn’t have expected her touch, no matter how delicate and reassuring she’d thought it was, to be well received.

Tara was determined not to make that mistake again. Not now that they’d found the girl again. There was something… well, there was obviously something bigger than finding her going on here. Something was making them feel this way - both of them - and they had to respect those feelings. Act on them. Even if they didn’t know what they meant yet.

Maybe it had something to do with the girl herself? Maybe it had to do with what she might have to say about what had happened to her. They didn’t know and right now, it didn’t matter.

They’d found her.

The girl was just a little way in front of the steps to City Hall, all eighteen of them, looking as if she was deciding what to do, and as they stood and watched, she must have made up her mind. She turned on her heel and started walking across the grass… and suddenly found herself looking across that area, right at Willow and Tara.

A couple of steps after which, no doubt whilst her mind put that image together with the memory of the previous night, was when she stopped.

Or, she might just have stopped dead because there was someone behind her. A vampire or someone else that was going to do something to her was suddenly there, from behind the last tree before the open grass… He was well inside the girl’s personal space. Too close for an accident and obviously absolutely focused on her. And then he wasn't. He looked up at them, hesitated and then stepped back again. Tara would have said vampire immediately… but… she really couldn’t be sure. He could just be someone else wanting to attract her attention and help her. On the other, hand he couldn’t have been able to tell who they were either. Which was good.

Once up on a time, she’d have had the pendant to tell her for sure who or what he was – but not anymore. She didn’t use it now. She hadn’t needed to for a while and Willow didn’t like her to anyway – it hurt her every time it was useful. Willow had always hated that – even when Willow had been a vampire, interested in pain, instead of the woman she loved. The fact Willow hated it was enough to stop her from using it.

In fact, the vampire, or whatever he was, seemed to be as indecisive as the girl had been just a moment before. He’d reached out and then pulled his hand back – as if he’d changed his mind - but his step backwards was of no use to the girl. Because, recoiling from them, she stepped back as well, maintaining the distance between herself and the person stalking her and widening the gap to her and Willow.

Tara felt the shift in the air, like static, as Willow started to call the magic to herself, and at this distance, it would be a bad idea to use Willow’s magic right now – or any magic at all. Even if it was just to keep him away from her. At least until things were clearer and the girl was further from that ‘man.’ Tara laid her hand on her lover’s arm and the magic was gone in that very instant. It was just a touch – a touch like any other – but they were so synchronised that they knew the meaning of whatever the other did. A simple touch could carry the weight of a thousand words.

There was no time to debate it anyway. At any moment the man, or creature, might try to do something to the girl and there was a limit to how fast they could do anything about it. Time that might see her die – even if he was human. But on the other hand if he was someone who was just trying to be a friend to the girl then…

He might even be her Dad she’d reported to the police was dead? Had she seen her Dad’s body or was she just assuming?

They had no idea and they couldn’t hastily judge him guilty before he did anything. Nor did she have time to try and judge his aura. Not if she was going to stay focused and ready to help the girl.

Now, the young woman they’d been looking for changed direction to avoid them but at least she didn’t run. The ‘man’ changed direction with her and, now that they needed her to run, she just walked off in another direction. What was she doing? Run! But the girl didn’t. Tara could have tried to touch her mind again to warn her that there was someone there… but she wasn’t going to do that. There were still other options as the male figure set off after her.

Other ways which didn’t mean anyone would be hurt. Just in case.

Tara allowed the sensations of the earth to flow up through her, from her feet to her heart and her head, stepping onto the other end of the rectangular area of grass the girl and the ‘man’ were on. She could feel the worms burrowing through the soil, reacting to the vibrations all of their steps were making. She could feel the tiny bugs and she had a sense of the soil. The microbes and the decaying plant material. And there, in the ground near the girl was what she needed - a seed. Too deep to have germinated and somehow it knew it – in the unique awareness of nature it knew. It knew it would never come to anything before it decomposed or got eaten by something.

Unless she gave it its chance and it repaid her for that by following her guidance. She stroked it with her mind, unpacked the tightly packed soil from around the outside of it so it could split open when it was ready. She gave it the moisture from the surrounding earth and promised it that it would all be all right if it would just follow her and grow up really, really quickly. She’d help it do that, it didn’t need to worry about anything. It just had to trust her and everything would be okay, by morning it would be ready for the sun.

The seedcase split open and new roots stretched out like delicate, elongated fingers, drinking in the water she’d provided for it from the surrounding soil. She fed the tiny energy reserve which lay within the case with energy of her own and the little seed germinated, stretching towards the surface. There was no daylight to offer it, but she promised it that there would be… soon. In the morning. When it would already be big and strong – able to resist the wind and any animals that might come to disturb it. And believing in her, appreciating the caress of her energy, it followed her directions. Within moments of breaking the ground, it had stretched out, the shoots widening, spreading and becoming stronger… always in the direction she guided it. Stretching and unfolding.

Looping into the path of the possible vampire and tripping him up. Okay, so she’d tripped him up but, it wasn’t going to hurt him if he was a good person who was just trying to help. Better to be safe than sorry.

Tara could practically hear his snarl as he hit the ground and something must have alerted the girl then too. Maybe she felt something, a vibration. Maybe it was the movement of the displaced air that passed her which did it.

Tara didn’t know. She just thanked the new sprouted sapling that was still climbing towards the sky and was now waiting for daylight to caress its leaves for the first time, and then urged Willow forward with another touch on her arm. He’d fallen over, but they still had some ground to cover to get between him and the girl. And not a lot of time.

“I wasn't going to toast him,” Willow promised her as they ran across the grass towards the two of them.

The girl had spun round and seen the man on the ground. Not a man.

“I know,” Tara said. “But I wasn’t sure that he wasn’t human.”

He looked up and… “Have you any doubts about him now?” Willow asked her.

No need for doubts, he was very definitely not the man he had been a few moments before and the girl knew it now too.

“No.”

“So I can go ahead and do what I need to?” Willow checked.

“No. I mean, yes. Get him away from her,” she said and winced as the girl aimed a kick at the vampire’s face. Aimed, connected and… fell to the floor beside him as he reached out for her foot and caught it as it pulled back to deliver another kick. The girl cried out as she fell and Tara winced again as she rolled into the sapling. That wasn’t what Tara had promised to it. It understood though – realised that there was something that wasn’t part of nature that was there and making these things happen to it.

All of nature recognised that stench and reacted to it. In the whole world, it was only ever humans that could withstand it and be at all attracted – no, never mind what they could be. For Tara, at least, attraction hadn’t even been an issue. She’d been attracted to Willow, not the creature who’d had worn her face back then. She’d loved Willow. Always Willow.

But there were some humans who desired those creatures or what they thought vampire were... not this girl though. She knew she had to get away and, in order to do that, she knew she had to fight. She was doing it too.

Tara felt the air charge as Willow again started to manipulate it. This time she went ahead and used that power against the vampire. Tara heard the word, “Thicken,” from under her love’s breath, but there was next to nothing similar about how Willow achieved that effect and how she herself had used to do that, years before. Apples and pears.

Magic was all different now. For the two of them, if no one else in the world. The same effect could be achieved in safer, better ways. Willow was a natural with air and fire… whilst Tara could have easily used the thickened air to hold the vampire down. She couldn’t have contemplated, in such a dangerous situation, doing what actually Willow did. Willow had practically turned the air under the vampire, between its body and the ground, into a board - one that she was then able to flip over with a signalling twist of her hand.

Ever the show woman was her Willow - when she was safely able to be. The vampire spun three times in the air before landing in a heap and being crushed beneath that thickened air. Holding it down as Tara would have tried straight away. But Willow had moved him away from the girl, whose ankle had also been released in the spin, without risking her in any way. A job well done, a job to be finished.

“Baby?” Willow asked.

Tara pulled out her stake and stood between the vampire and the girl. She wasn't taking any chances over this. “Do you want to do it?” she asked.

Willow nodded and focused on the stake in Tara’s hand as she flipped it up over the vampire, tumbling in a slow lazy arc until gravity took it and began pulling it back towards the ground.

It was only then that Willow took control of it.

--------------------------------

Lucas looked up. The Witches. The damn Witches. It had to be. So that was what they looked like. He wondered which one had used to be a vampire. When he’d looked to the other side of the grass, he’d wondered if it was them, it had made him pause. Then he’d gone and now they’d taken the girl from him and there was no way, even if he got out of this, that he could go back to Darla and admit his failure. This was almost worst-case scenario time.

The Witches had the girl.

And the girl knew where the Order had built its heart.

Right under Sunnydale. And she was bound to tell, after her life had been saved by them – even if she hadn’t already told the police - and it was the damn Witches she was going to be telling it to. Who else could it be? They were holding him down with their magic and the kid was still alive. He’d taken his mind off the job and now he was going to have to admit to failure. She should have died last night and he’d have washed his hands in her blood.

Drusilla could have been his that much sooner if he’d brought her the heart and eyes of the girl who’d gotten her lover killed.

The stake seemed to crawl through the air above him, tumbling end over end.

Blunt.

Pointy.

Blunt.

Pointy.

Blunt.

Pointy.

Blu- Where was blunt?

Just poin-

Then it wasn’t so slow… it was fixed, vertical. Point down. Right above him. Just for a split second and then it drove down towards him. In another second though, he was free. His struggles had paid off. He was free of whatever had been holding him. He’d broken through their magic!

He was strong.

If he was too strong for their magic – and Spike hadn’t been – when he was…

He was invinc-

He was dead. He realised they’d just moved the obstruction between him and the stake as it drove into his chest and he didn’t realise very much after that other than it hurt as it went in and stroked his ribs apart.

It hurt lots.

Not the sort of pain he’d been looking forward to.

Dru-

**********************




-------------------------


If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.


------------------------

[Cicca]

This whole Lucas arc is really funny. Or maybe I'm twisted, but oh it's funny!



The sapling scene. I like it. I've been in awe of that nature magic since Tara found it. It's wonderful.



And hooray! A baby tree where there wouldn't have been one. I'm a tree-fan. Even a hugger!



Now, can I sit on Toni so she stays put and lets Willow and Tara explain stuff so SHE can explain stuff?

Please?

“Spirit of Sappho, ... I summon you. Come fill me with your big, dykey power!” ~ Final Exam by Tommo

[Katharyn]

Cicca - that was a fast response...glad you liked it.



A Lucas Arc? It was never intended - but the story just stretched and stretched.



The sapling scene... has changed somewhat since the first draft - which I might post simply to embarass someone who loved it and didn't realise (like me) what the imagery there was suggesting.



A tree hugger huh? Hmm, I will take that in the innocent way it was intended *S*



Toni hasn't got any running to do for a while. Promise.



And thanks.



Katharyn

-------------------------




If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.




------------------------

[Cicca]

Ooh! Post it! Post it! Embarrassing sapling scene? Bring it on!



And you did indeed have a Lucas arc. Which is good because it made it all the funnier for the poor guy.



As for treehugging, it was certainly meant in that happy fuzzy bunny way, not... Um...

Ever see Superstar? Mary Katherine making out with a tree at Catholic School. That's not me! Just so we're clear.

“Spirit of Sappho, ... I summon you. Come fill me with your big, dykey power!” ~ Final Exam by Tommo

[Katharyn]

Okay then, how is this for embarassing. I am a little drunk (already and it is only 7pm) so I can do this with a good conscience...



Here is the POSTED VERSION of the sapling scene:



The seedcase split open and new roots stretched out like delicate, elongated fingers, drinking in the water she’d provided for it from the surrounding soil. She fed the tiny energy reserve which lay within the case with energy of her own and the little seed germinated, stretching towards the surface. There was no daylight to offer it, but she promised it that there would be… soon. In the morning. When it would already be big and strong – able to resist the wind and any animals that might come to disturb it. And believing in her, appreciating the caress of her energy, it followed her directions. Within moments of breaking the ground, it had stretched out, the shoots widening, spreading and becoming stronger… always in the direction she guided it. Stretching and unfolding.



Nice huh?



And here is the ORIGINAL VERSION:



The seedcase split open and new roots stretched out, drinking in the water she’d provided for it. She fed the tiny energy reserve, which lay within the case, with energy of her own and the little seed germinated, thrusting towards the surface. There was no daylight to offer it, but she promised it that there would be… soon. In the morning. When it would already be big and strong – able to resist the wind and any animals that might come to disturb it. And believing in her, it followed her directions. Within moments of breaking the ground, it had stretched out, thickening and becoming stronger… always in the direction she guided it.







Okay... now the differences seem pretty plain to me... one of these is extremely phallic (though I admit it suits the situation better than the posted version) - nature can be pretty phallic - and one... well I tried to de-phallicise it up a little. *S* Not that I have a single thing against those who like the phallic... but I have a reputation to maintain!



Now... and here, after embarassing myself, is the comments made by my lovely beta reader Celia, AKA Tiredsoul regarding the ORIGINAL version:



That’s a pretty cool description. It may be my mindset at the moment, but some of the word choices were … J But don’t blame me, I was talking to you know who earlier. But that aside, this is a really cool description.



I will leave you to guess who you -know-who is but everyone here knows her.



In her defence let me say that Celia looked at the word "thickened" for example in quite a different light to what seemed clear to me when I re-read it... and I missed the implication too.



But...



She LIKED it. More than that, she thought it was sexy.



I love it when I get to do this... of course now she will have to retaliate and embarrass me in return. Let the scampering commence.



Katharyn

-------------------------




If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.




------------------------

Edited by: Katharyn at: 7/26/03 11:27 am

[tiredsoul]

My mind is the gutter? Oh no my dear, you helped it along quite well with that bit of writing.



How I wish I could post the chat that went along with this. It was pointed out to me and I still didn’t get it right away

Quote:

---

Okay... now the differences seem pretty plain to me

---

And let me just say that you were the one that connected the dots. Not me.



I can’t help it if my mind didn’t pick up at what the first was suggesting. That is a good thing, right? I was so blown away with the articulate and descriptive writing, paying attention to the … nah, forget it, I just have a dirty mind

Quote:

---

It was just a touch – a touch like any other – but they were so synchronised that they knew the meaning of whatever the other did. A simple touch could carry the weight of a thousand words.

---

Even in the tension-filled moments, the beauty that is W/T comes through and resonates beautifully.



And when Willow got Lucas in place with her majick and then turned to Tara to ask permission for the next step, it just says so much about how perfect they work together.



And the … Blunt. Pointy. Blu-



Too funny. Loved it.



Thanks Katharyn.



*sheepishly scampering off to restore my reputation*



--celia

---------------------------------

When innocence is shattered
... madness is inevitable
www.gotlicky.com

Edited by: tiredsoul at: 7/26/03 2:10 pm

[Grimlock72]

It's a good thing Tara can walk without actually thinking about where to place her feet, does she ever think (to) much!! She sounds worse than Willow-bable :-). I don't agreee with her guilt-trip as per usual, hopefully she'll get over it someday (preferably before she's an old lady). The entire concept of Fate/Destiny tends to make me rather defiant so I can understand some of Tara's thinking there.



I was a bit confused as to where the were walking towards, first it was Tara's appartment from the mayor and than it became City Hall. Are those two locations close together, I forgot. Why can Willow and Tara sense Toni specificly anyway ? For that matter, why can only Willow sense Toni near City Hall while Tara sensed her in parc ??



That air-cushion thingie should work on Toni too. It's only needed if she runs again of course, maybe she realizes that those two women have helped/saved her twice now and aren't all that bad. I generally hate the 'for your own good' lines, but maybe I'll make an exception for Toni .



I liked Tara's conversation with the seed/plant thingie. Which in itself is surprising since I'm not all that hip with the nature-magic stuff. Tara obviously differentiates a lot between her former use of magic and the new and improved nature-magic stuff... as long as it makes her more comfortable I'm all for it :-) Nice to see Tara promise the plant lots of things if it would just help her out a bit right now... the original version of that conversation is also...eh... interesting... yeah thats the word.



Hilarious to read Lucas believing he broke through 'the witches magic', hehe... sooo delusional . His thinking almost make me afraid Willow was taking to long in staking him, probably only seemed long in retrospect. Or maybe it was evilly put in there to cause anxious feelings.....nah... never! .



Obviously I'm now anxiously awaiting Toni's reaction to all this. It's not every day you see a tree sprout from the ground like that .



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[Katharyn]

Celia - Your mind has been led to the gutter, but as the saying goes you can be led to the gutter but you can't be made to drink.



And yeah, the chat would be fun.



I connected the dots in the right direction. You mixed all the numbers up and the dots shows you something else.



I think its important that T/W shine through in as many places as I can find in this fic... I didn't get to do it first time - and we all know their beauty as a couple is how things really are. Wherever they are.



Ideally Willow should have added another "are you sure" or something to her questions... that would have been funnier I think.



Restore your reputation? You have an all new (or not so new) reputation...



Thanks.



Grimmy - First this... The apartment was within a few minutes of city hall which was setup in the First Chonicle, but that was such a throway thing it wasn't worth explaining it all again.



Why can T/W sense Toni? Are you sure they are sensing Toni, as such?



Toni won't run this time. That's a freebie...



I am not hip with nature magic either, I just write the stuff *S* There is a big difference between her use of magic now and what it was in the past. The original version works better, fora plant, I must say... but hey... it's me.



Glad you liked LUcas's end... and yeah he is gone.



It's funny you should mention Toni seeing the tree, someone else mentioned that to me in another light...



Thanks...



Now, I want to be careful how I say this because I value your feedback Grimmy, its just sometimes in feedback (not just here) I think you go a little far... Sometimes, and its not just this post, your comments go beyond a certain line. To take this post just as an example, the first sentence comes off as not liking the style in which I write. Which is a choice sure, but not something which will change.



There is going to be thought in this fic - its me - and that will involve all characters thinking about stuff. Lucas thinks at the end and you thought that was hilarious, but Tara thinks and she is 'thinking too much.' In part this is a story comment, I see that, but you have mentioned the amount of thought, and the delay it caused in the action, in the past.



This is the way it always had been, always will be and is now... Quite often I think you come off critical of the style, story and the characters in a way that surpasses worry about where they are going. It might just be me, and do not be offended by this, but its not cool to read that when, as a writer, you spent so long working on it - whether you mean it that way or not.



I mean the fact you read the story suggests you like it, but it doesn't always appear so in feedback... That's not a great thing to read.



Okay, I said it... Please don't take this as confrontational. I like hearing from you, but what you say is sometimes undermined by going a bit too far IMHO.



Thanks



Katharyn

-------------------------




If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.




------------------------

Edited by: Katharyn at: 7/26/03 11:42 pm

[Cicca]

heheheheheheh



That sapling thing is funny!



I think the word "thrust" can seldom be used in an innocent manner

“Spirit of Sappho, ... I summon you. Come fill me with your big, dykey power!” ~ Final Exam by Tommo

[Grimlock72]

Katharyn,



Sorry that you read my feedback as being negative, it surely wasn't meant that way. I do like your thought-based story-telling, otherwise I simply wouldn't read it . Based on your message I doubt further explaining would help . I'll scamper of to my cave and be quiet now (doesn't mean I'll stop *reading* this story though) .



Bye



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 7/27/03 11:29 am

[Katharyn]

Cicca - I am glad you see the problem with the original. Which is my problem I admit... Some people missed it *S*



Grimmy - No need to go hide Grimmy, you often have some insightful things to say that are very helpful.



However, and this is not just my impression of posts in this thread, I think you sometimes let the 'problems' you see in a plot/character/style spill out into the feedback in a way that is not very constructive. Personally I would love to see you keep posting - but I just think you need to pull back from some of the other opinions you have been sharing since they can go right to the heart of what, how and why I, and others IMHO, are writing without being necessarily constructive about it.



No need to hide in a cave.



Katharyn

-------------------------




If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.




------------------------

[tiredsoul]

Katharyn writes

Quote:

---

Your mind has been led to the gutter, but as the saying goes you can be led to the gutter but you can't be made to drink

---

See, even with that phrasing, my mind is gone. All I see is 'led,' 'gutter,' and 'drink.' What have you people done to me?

Quote:

---

I connected the dots in the right direction. You mixed all the numbers up and the dots shows you something else.

---

I never looked in that direction. I never mixed up the numbers. They’re important. So if you looked in that direction after you connected the dots, then the ‘something else’ is mixed up... or I am



You see what I have to put up with? Sexy writing, teasing, handcuffs …



Wait. Why am I complaining?



--celia

---------------------------------

When innocence is shattered
... madness is inevitable
www.gotlicky.com

Edited by: tiredsoul at: 7/27/03 10:53 pm

[Katharyn]

Sexy writing... in ways that I never intended.



Teasing... Well guilty I will admit.



Handcuffs... Aren't you the one who found a pair in the closet?



Part 119 tomorrow.



Katharyn

-------------------------




If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.




------------------------

[SquishyTrishy]

Hey..



I just started reading this fic..and obvously I have a long way to go. I just wanted to tell you how much i enjoy this fic. I love it, its such an inretible idea. I love how yuo have the pateince to set it all up to connect all the dots and get the good detail in. Its amazing..i wish i could write like that. Anyway..I am off to try and finish this fic..god its gonna take me forever..hehe..so excited..love the story!



Trishy

[Katharyn]

Hey Trishy, thanks for stopping by. Glad you are liking it so far, though now you have me wondering where you are up to!



You will quickly see I am a feedback whore, so take this as it is meant *S*, and feel free to ask any questions, make comments about old stuff... I have a beta reader with an excellent memory who will tell me what you are talking about... *S*



You will also find my memory sucks... even for my own fic.



Thanks so much for stopping by, it means alot.



Katharyn

-------------------------




If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.




------------------------

[cattwoman98111]

Katharyn, imagine my suprise, when i realized that you had started a sequal to this. I just caught up with the story and am enjoying it just as much as the first.

i am also enjoying the fact that Darla is being explored more in your story than on the show. i always found her history (or lack of) intriguing. Lucas, interesting while he lasted.

liking mucho



-Catt



I want it. Give it to me. I love it. 7 Year Bitch

[Katharyn]

Hey all, thanks for the feedback and for joining in on embarassing Celia. Its a team effort...

Part 119 is below... but first:

Catwoman - You were suprised I started it? Probably less surprised that I was back in December when I started it...

Glad you are enjoying it and that Darla does something for you as a character - I think you will see more that you like in the next few parts (or you might already have seen it... I forget.)

Thanks... enjoy 119 now.

Katharyn


---------------
Title: The Sidestep Chronicle – Second Chronicle – Somewhere to Be (Part 119)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome. katharynrosser@hotmail.com Flames just demonstrate you have a tiny mind.
Spoiler Warning: Pretty limited. The story occurs in an alternate universe as set up in “The Wish” though reference is made to events that occur in both realities. Nothing is referenced that occurs after S5 though. Guess why? Most “spoilers” would be for the first chronicle of this fic rather than the show and if you haven’t read that then much of this will make no sense but you can try and get round it by reading the preface to Part 104 which summarises most of what went before.
Distribution This story was written for Pens. Pens is its home. No archiving off Different Coloured Pens (This applies to all of the Sidestep Chronicle)
Summary: Toni comes face to face with Willow and Tara. Or is that face to faces?
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories. You know the drill.
Rating: R – a general rating for occasional content. Individual parts might be less than this level.
Couples: Tara and Willow forever – others couples as necessary but nothing unconventional.
Notes:
Thanks To: All My Brilliant Beta Readers (AMBBR) Kerry (Forrister) and Jo (Wizpup) who for some reason signed right back up for this fic after seeing the size of the last one. No accounting for madness is there. And Celia (TiredSoul) who should have known better but signed up anyway. *HUGS* and Big Thanks to all of you. This is one of Kerry’s and… She always knows what to say. Thanks to all you readers who stuck by me over a looooong period of time, waiting and now reading again. And also to the new ones – love to convert a lurker. The last section was beta’d by Celia – actually it was requested by Celia as where I left it wasn’t good enough. Apparently. J



The Sidestep Chronicle – Second Chronicle

Somewhere to Be

By

Katharyn Rosser


Willow smiled. That had been pretty fancy as far as stakings went. Sometimes, when they’d already won the battle, she liked to figure out just what they could do. Not necessarily doing it better, just what they… could do. Like… for practice, and to make things a little more interesting and lively. The vampire had been down, the girl was free of him and safe, so there had been no problem in testing her fine control of the stake. She liked to do well and that wasn’t a crime – especially not as far as Tara was concerned.

Willow knew that her girlfriend had been throwing the stake up for her so that she could catch it, magically, and stake him. That was the best way that they’d found when they were dealing with thickened air. If you made the air effectively a solid then there was no way through it with the stake. The air was as much a shield for the vampire as it was a hindrance to his movement. At least until you removed it just at the right moment.

To stake a trapped vampire then it was necessary to let that thickening effect fade, late enough that the vampire couldn’t escape, but before you hit it with the stake. It wasn’t as easy as it seemed – because Willow’s mind, like most peoples, was focused on the visual. Though she knew the extent of the magical effect, how thick it was, she couldn’t see it. At least not without focusing on another kind of vision, which in itself was a distraction.

Distractions were bad because vampires were faster than they were. Vampire reactions were more than human. She knew it better than most because for a long, long time after she’d come back from that nightmare she felt liked she’d slowed down - as well as becoming physically weaker. The world had been a very different place to the one the vampire had remembered. Even though it had kinda been the same.

It had been slower certainly but it looked different too. It had taken a while to realise it looked better. It had taken about the same amount of time to know that really, with Tara, she was stronger in every possible sense than the other Willow could ever have been. Even without the magic. Just enough time to find the love that had always connected them.

She had fond memories of finding the love on the farm… Tara bringing her back, and also of bringing herself back.

What she’d done with the stake was tougher than their usual moves, with the tumbling and all, and she was happy with how it had gone. The timing had been a little off – but not enough so that she’d actually missed or anything that could have been as disastrous as letting the vampire escape to attack them, or just move enough to avoid being dusted.

She watched for her lover’s reaction and noticed Tara was unable to resist a wry little smile crossing her lips before the little shake of the head that cleared it. Tara’s attitude to such ‘practice’ actually made Willow smile in itself. By virtue of her talents being directed in the area of fire and air – though like Tara not exclusively so – she tended to be the one who killed the vampires by overtly magical means when they were out together. And her baby knew she had to practice.

Stakings didn’t count in that – despite the magic involved, stakings they could both do.

Tara was perfectly capable of lethal magic, she might even be better at it, but it didn’t come so easily to her girlfriend as it did to Willow. The effort that it took for Tara to bring the earth or water to destroy a vampire was far greater than for Willow to incinerate it or trap it in the ever-present air. Vampires could live forever underwater – but they couldn’t last a second bathed in flame. It was kind of an unfair advantage. But on the other hand bath-time with Tara could definitely be fun… And not just for the kids.

There was always the ever-reliable stake, and Tara preferred to use that when she could, but… well there was very little variety to it. It wasn’t that Tara didn’t approve of her getting ‘flashy’ it was just that it wasn't something that Tara chose to do herself. It pretty much characterised their outlook on hunting. To Tara it was purely something that had to be done – that was the way it always had been. Tara had been weary of the hunt even before she came to Sunnydale.

Willing, definitely able, but slightly weary. It was a tiredness that wouldn’t go away.

For Willow… it was more complex than that. To her, hunting wasn’t something that had to be done. It was something that they chose to do and could… in theory… stop whenever they wanted to as well. That was an important distinction in her own mind. Willow had to believe that they could get out of this aspect of their lives… if they ever wanted to. And while she was here… well, maybe they couldn’t ‘enjoy’ what they did – but they could make the best of it, test herself as long as it was safe to do so. Safety was always the key – and this time Tara had been there, watching out for them. If something had gone wrong Tara would have handled it. But nothing had gone wrong.

It was like schoolwork – that had always been pretty much her definition of fun when she was growing up. Getting to do stuff that expanded her mind, her experience, which gave her a future and good grades. That had been something like heaven, still was to a lesser degree. She just wanted to be the best she could.

Okay, now Tara was her heaven… They walked together under the stars while they were hunting. They helped people as they killed demons and vampires. They got to hang out with Rupert, Jenny, Faith and Ben both on and off ‘duty.’ They’d come together through all the hunting. They’d made their friends doing that. There was Larry too – though he’d left town now – another friend. And that was just the benefits outside their own love…

Hunting was a part of who they were now but if they left it behind then they’d still have the skills. They’d still have the friends. And they’d still be able to take those moonlit strolls under the stars. If they ran into a vampire, sure they would always be able to kill it, but they wouldn’t have to actually hunt to still have the benefits.

The thing was, they were the most important people in each other’s lives. There wasn’t any reason that shouldn’t and couldn’t be the case. And so it was with her use of magic. She wasn’t being frivolous… the magic that they used, and which used them in turn, wouldn’t let them do that. It was a trade that usually took place. That was the price of escaping what Tara had always called ‘the darkness’ and the bad things she’d always had to worry were coming for her. Sure, they were more restricted… but they were also free of all those bad things in the magic too. And so, Willow could enjoy it, which Tara didn’t really mind – even if she did shake her head like an amused teacher with her star pupil. When it came to magic Willow could always rely on her lover to tell her when she was sticking even the tip of a toe into dangerous waters.

Actually before she even got her shoe off.

And she hadn’t needed to be warned about anything like that for such a long time.

Tara had been there, to the dangerous places, and Willow had every faith that her love wasn't about to allow her to go anywhere near them. Tara hadn’t had to warn her about anything in over two years. Nearly three. So a little wry smile and a shake of the head were, pretty much, okay.

Then again, Willow guessed that this might be the wrong time to mention that she’d been thinking of keeping it spinning through two axis’s as it had been driven down. That might have been too flashy. If it had just been them then maybe she would have tried for it, but… not with the girl there. Not when there was a chance that something could have gone wrong and they’d have to resort to more forceful magics which weren’t as precise or controllable. Willow didn’t want to think about the possibility of getting knocked or distracted when she was trying to bend fire to her will. Burning someone other than the vampire wouldn’t have been a good thing at all.

She looked beyond Tara at the girl who was scrabbling backwards along on the ground and staring at the place where the vampire had been before it went ‘poof.’ The surprise on her face suggested she’d never seen the way that those creatures died before.

Maybe she hadn’t even known that they could die. She hadn’t thought they could be, back in that cage with Xander, vampires had seemed the strongest thing in the world to her. But there was always something stronger.

Tara.

Love.

Which were kind of the same thing. But the point was she could well believe in the younger girl’s disbelief.

Why should she have known anything about those creatures? Despite having the memories of being one, Willow knew she still didn’t know everything. She wasn’t sure even an ancient vampire like the Master had known either. Not everything. Everything was a lot. The only ‘everything’ she really had, and felt comfortable in understanding, was she and Tara’s love for each other.

She had a handle on that.

But the girl wasn’t actually trying to get away from them this time – which was good on a scale of one to… running away afraid. She’d pushed back, but she was reacting to the vampire – looking to where the vampire had been and where a gentle cloud of dust still hung in the air. The girl wasn’t looking to them – or trying to get away from them. Last time, for whatever reason, she had been wanting to be away from them. Willow knew how much it had bothered Tara that she felt she was the one to blame for what had happened there.

But the girl wasn’t running this time.

They could keep up with her.

She was just moving backwards along the ground until she wasn’t right next to them anymore. That was fine. In her circumstances Willow would want a little bit of distance too. How was she supposed to know that the ‘poof in cloud of dust thing’ wasn't catching like the common cold? Or that there weren’t more vampires? Willow didn’t recall getting a very detailed answer from Tara about just how they were going to talk to this girl… And she was definitely a ‘girl.’ It would be a couple of years yet before anyone was saying ‘young woman’ on a regular basis. Maybe a teacher who was being condescending.

Neither of them knew sign language. Maybe she could read lips though? Maybe that was a way around it? Maybe she should suggest that as an option to Tara, who was determined to be the one to make right what she’d done last night – or thought she had.

------------------------------

Willow was about to say something; Tara could tell it was something she’d been thinking about too. There was the telltale movement of the head, the way her lips opened, closed and then opened again before actually starting to speak. She looked at her lover and gave her a tiny shake of the head. No. Talking amongst themselves, if the girl didn’t lip-read, wasn't going to help build trust here and they really, really needed to do that. They needed her to trust them or at least to not run away again. No… actually the girl did need to trust them. She’d almost been killed. Again. But this time Tara knew it was because she’d already run away once and not let them help her. Whatever good reason she’d had for leaving them last night – she needed to trust them at least enough now to be taken somewhere safe.

Tara also knew it was because she’d done something she shouldn’t have done – but that was okay if the girl would just stay now – let them help her. There was no harm done if she did that now – there was even some extra good. Another vampire destroyed – more lives saved for the future. One vampire could kill hundreds of people a year… and all of their children and grandchildren, ad infinitum, which would never be born.

One vampire was worth a lot.

Still, the girl… Tara was kind of hoping saving her life, again – needing to do that again - would have showed the girl that running away wasn't going to solve her problems here. Not even if she ran clean out of Sunnydale.

But talking amongst themselves, even if she could see one of their lips – and could read them – when she was deaf… It wasn't fair. At least not until they knew her – and what she considered to be fair and good manners. Without knowing that it would be liked having a conversation and deliberately excluding the girl from it. In fact, more than ‘not good manners’ Tara pretty much considered it rude too. She didn’t know what the ethics of talking in front of deaf people were, but she just thought – deep down – that it wasn’t a nice thing to do. Also it would just say that they were planning something. That they were hiding something. Either that or they were ignorant and didn’t care what she thought about them.

They really weren’t hiding anything though – and the only thing they had been planning was what they were going to do when they’d found her. How they were going to talk to her.

Now they had.

And see how well that plan had come together. They didn’t have any more idea now than they had when they’d talked about it before. The reality was different to the theory. It was a very different thing talking with Willow about the abstract idea of how they would deal with her than looking into her wide, wary and fearful, eyes and doing something.

Right then Tara just wanted one of them to hug this girl – but they couldn’t go there. Not yet. Comfort wasn’t what was needed. It was reassurance. That they weren’t bad people. That she was safe with them and they wouldn’t let the vampires hurt her. But…

Well, there was pretty much a complete lack of a functioning plan of communication here. She didn’t need to be paranoid about this girl thinking they were planning something because they really, really weren’t. They wanted to – but they weren’t. Tara could understand paranoia though – it had probably kept this girl alive for as long as she’d needed to so far. This girl was entitled to her paranoia.

Her dad was dead.

And she’d probably seen it happen to him too if she knew it.

Tara still didn’t know what she was going to do when she chose to just sat down on the grass a meter or so from the girl’s feet. And then she didn’t move at all. She just sat there, looked at the girl and absolutely nothing passed between them. No looks. Certainly no attempt to put some reassurance in her mind. Nothing. There was no way in the world that Tara was going to do anything other than allow the girl to size her up. To size up both her and Willow. They needed her to realise that, whatever it was that she was afraid of, it didn’t need to ever be Tara or the woman she loved.

--------------------------------

Willow watched them both, sat there on the grass, insanely for a few moments she was thinking about Tara’s skirt getting grass stains on and how she was going to get them out afterwards being as it was her turn to do the washing. She got past that though pretty quickly. The trouble was Willow wasn’t really sure what she was supposed to be doing now. Tara was wasn’t doing anything – but in a meaningful way. Willow supposed, she could sit down too, but that would make this tableau look something like an after sunset picnic – and right outside city hall. In this town anything like that could mean a vamp pig-out – or at least the vampires might try it. If they tried then the girl would run again. Also it might be crowding the girl Willow could sit and risk spoiling whatever Tara was doing in getting this girl to trust them.

Or she could stay on lookout for trouble.

Tara knew best when it came to trust. She was a superb judge and she was the sort of person most people, most good people, instinctively liked and wanted to trust. Willow had seen it happen and was always amazed by how easily it came to her girlfriend. Her lover was still a little shy, say in a social gathering with new people, but once she came out of that shell… People always liked Tara. People brought her out of that shell because they wanted to like her.

Willow was the one that found herself having to make an effort to meet new people at those parties. It was easier to stick with Tara though – she could be ‘the girlfriend’ for a little while and then people got to know her too.

She could let Tara win the girls trust now, and make sure they were safe as they did that.

On the other hand, if she didn’t sit down with them then there was a chance that the girl would think that Willow wasn’t willing to sit down with her. That she wasn’t to be trusted as much as Tara was. There was this whole big quandary going on in her head now about what she should do for the best. The safest thing seemed to be to wait there and let Tara invite her over if she wanted to. Neither going nor staying. Just sort of there. She could do that and Tara didn’t need to actually ‘say’ anything to invite her to them. Just the way she moved would let Willow know and they could always communicate through the magic if they needed to as well.

With her if not the girl.

Better to be the one on look out – keeping them safe. Just so long as she kept her eyes on Tara and the girl. She knew, because Tara had already promised herself, that her lover wasn't going to touch the girl’s mind. That had been a disaster last time. The shock wave of fear and revulsion from the contact… well Willow had been able to feel it because of her own link to Tara. The girl hadn’t liked Tara being in her head. Not even to reassure her. Not to tell her she was safe. Willow knew she might well have made the same mistake, it wasn't that Tara had made a choice she wouldn’t have. She and Tara didn’t overuse the ability to put a thought in the other’s head – it was part of their connection but body language and familiarity was equally as powerful – but on the other hand she would never have thought about how a strange person doing that could feel.

Thinking about it now, Willow knew she would have made the same mistake. She’d have been quicker to try and get into the girl’s thoughts and she probably wouldn’t have been as… gentle and warm as Tara. She’d probably have been more eager to reassure than Tara had been. Helpfully eager, but not with the delicate touch Tara always had. In short the girl would have been more afraid now than she was of Tara.

Now though – well despite Tara’s determination not to ‘try’ anything at all the girl was getting something from the passive position. For the longest series of moments… Tara and the girl just kept looking at each other.

---------------------------

Toni had steeled herself for it from the moment she’d been certain who it was who was out here with her. The two women from last night – who’d helped her but then done… That bad thing too. She knew what this blonde woman was capable of. She’d seen that same look of compassion in what, seemed like, a kind face the previous night. But that hadn’t stopped the blonde from following that vampire woman into her head where no one should have been. No one but Toni herself.

She didn’t want anyone in her head like that. Even if… Even if it had just been the sort of things the woman seated beside her had put there – a feeling of safety. But how could she be safe if someone was inside her mind like that? It shouldn’t even be possible – but it was worse than someone reading her journal. It was… It was a violation of everything that was private and just hers.

She didn’t want that. Not ever again. Not after the years of nightmares that she’d had to feel in those split seconds with the vampire woman. Horrible… terrible… icky things no one should ever have had to see – or go through – at least not in a world which was even half way fair.

This world wasn't though, was it?

Not fair at all.

Some of those things the vampire had forced into her head… some brief moments of them had seemed to, maybe, involve the redheaded woman that Toni still didn’t dare look at whilst she was standing over there. She was with the blonde again, here, like she had been last night in the park. At least the blonde wasn't in those terrible feelings as well… but the redhead was. Toni was pretty sure of that. She was right there, a small part in the visions she’d been forced to see. The redhead was in there so what did that mean? From what the vampire had put in her head, Toni could even feel herself biting that red haired girl. Now that was a whole other level of violation – making her experience it. And then… moments later – in the dream at least – she was watching as the redhead was biting someone. In that dream the red haired girl had been all pale, with the teeth of a monster and a delight in hurting people. The redhead was a vampire herself.

Had been… Whenever that feeling, that nightmare, was.

Except… Well, it didn’t look like she was now did it? Not that Toni was able to bring herself to look again though. Instead she just made herself meet the blonde’s eyes. After that one had been in her head she didn’t really want to be there again – but the redhead was a worse option if her nightmares were real and…

They’d saved her from the vampires twice now. This time she could… she felt like she could see right into that blonde woman’s heart when she looked – but also that she was allowing the blonde into hers too. Both of them were totally open which was better than what had happened last night. Just because she didn’t feel threatened didn’t mean she was forgetting what the blonde had done yesterday.

But… This… Doing nothing. Sitting here – open – and looking at each other allowed Toni to look back on last night. She still didn’t like it – but maybe… Maybe she’d made a little mistake about what had happened too. Maybe she’d been… Maybe it had been the vampire that had made…

She didn’t know… but she could feel…

In a way… last night had been like a softer version of what the vampire had done to her. There weren’t images there and none of it had been forced on her as the vampire had. But… she’d been able to feel some of things that the blonde woman felt – and maybe not just what she’d wanted her to feel. There had been fear, fear of losing something important. Fear of not making amends. There had been guilt.

What had she been guilty about?

Even feeling it was… better than the vampires.

There had been regret. No regret in a vampire.

There had been contentment and there had been, still was now, … Such an overpowering love that Toni had to blink when she realised.

She didn’t think…

She didn’t think that anyone who felt that much love for anyone could possibly be bad. Which was why she didn’t mind that the blonde woman, seated on the grass opposite her, might see the things that were inside her too – but just like a normal person would. Not in the invasive way she might have done that last night.

And perhaps last night had been a mistake… people made them. Everyone did. People tried too hard.

The blonde cared, that was it. She so obviously cared about what had happened to Toni more than the cops ever had while she’d been in the Police Station. And yet this woman didn’t know anything about what had happened.

And still she cared.

She’d, both these women had, saved her life. Twice. This woman cared… and she knew too. What she knew, Toni wasn’t sure. But someone she felt that the blonde, at least, understood – but Toni herself wasn’t even sure what she understood. The blonde woman understood what she was feeling even if she couldn’t know why.

Somehow she could feel this woman knew what losing her Dad had done to her. She understood that pain. That loss.

She could see it and she understood. But how did she know? How could she know what had happened? Unless she’d seen it last night… when she’d done the bad thing?

Or… there was another option. A bad one.

Without a word the two of them understood each other. They might have been able to find words that they both understood too, but right then Toni didn’t need words or communication problems. She knew that the blonde, and the red-haired woman with her, really cared...

About each other – and for some reason about her too. Which… felt better than having no one to do that.

----------------------

Tara didn’t need to be in the youngster’s head to feel the moment arrive when a silent understanding came into existence between them. The moment when the fear, if not the mistrust, ceased to be the overwhelming issue for the girl, when she knew that if they wanted to hurt her they could have just… done nothing at all. Left her to get hunted down on the streets again. It was a moment she realised that Tara didn’t want to hurt her. That Tara hadn’t meant anything by what had happened the previous night and she wasn’t going to do it again – which was what Tara thought she must have been afraid of.

And if the girl could feel the apology Tara wanted to give her then she hoped that was there too but she wasn’t going to use any magic to go there. She would allow… she’d allow herself to view what was already there though. The natural life energy of a person was always there. It was just that most people couldn’t register it.

Tara was, as she cautiously allowed herself to see, able to see all those swirling emotions within the girl’s aura. It wasn’t a surprise to find them there. This girl was tired. She was desperate. Afraid. Scared. Probably hurt by events and people who’d wanted to help her. And she’d lost… a lot. Tara and Willow were the least of her problems. All in all they barely registered on the scale.

All those colours – every one of them another emotion, all bound up in the things that had happened to her, were happening to her and which she was probably afraid of happening to her later on.

But gradually the girl, seeing something within Tara, perhaps in her passivity or perhaps even in the same way Tara saw her now, became a little less afraid of them and that was the absolute best that Tara could hope for here. The rest of it would have to wait until they could find a way to communicate in a way that was less well, passive and nebulous. This hadn’t been communication… it had just been seeing each other. Seeing what was within someone else by looking into his or her eyes.

Allowing someone else to see within you by being totally open. Nothing like the invasion of privacy which had happened last night, and which Tara so bitterly regretted.

The thing that got to Tara most of all was the girl’s loss. Over the years she’d seen a lot of people who’d lost friends, lovers and family who were close to them and she knew how to recognise that in a persons aura. The loss in the girl was raw and it was within everything else she was feeling. Streaks of the emotion stretched out into her fear, her wariness, her determination. It made Tara wonder how well she was dealing with that? Her dad was dead. Tara didn’t know anything about the girl’s Mom but she’d lost him for sure.

And it was tearing her up.

Tara wasn't sure… but maybe that was where the girl’s indecision was coming from too. There was a lot of that in there. Maybe the fear was even of making the wrong choice now. Her whole aura, apart from the loss, reeked of ‘what should I do?’ Perhaps it was a desire to be looked after that existed in everyone – young or old?

Tara could understand all of how she was feeling, if what she was sensing was true. There hadn’t been anyone there for her when her own family had… Not even Willow. There had just been a dream of Willow. but even that hadn’t helped her back then. This girl was younger than the girl that Tara had been then – but not by much. She felt at least as lost as Tara had.

And she shared, unless Tara was way off base, a need to do something about it.

But within that… what would she have given to have someone look after her then? There had been her aunt and uncle, but they’d believed too firmly in the demon heritage to ever want to look after her.

Here in Sunnydale there wasn’t even that level of ‘support’ for this girl. No one had been there for her when things had gone wrong, when they’d got worse or even when she’d tried to do the right thing, as she understood it, by going to the police. But she and Willow… they were here for this girl now. It was important – they both knew it inside, they felt it. At least they would be if they were allowed to be. Tara wasn’t about to let this girl slip into the sort of life that she’d had… even if that had ultimately brought her to Willow, as well as all their friends.

It had worked out for her – eventually – but not as a direct result of any choice she’d made. She was afraid, even now, that her choice had really been revenge, cloaked as justice. She hadn’t chosen Willow until years later.

For this girl that sort of life would be much, much shorter. Which was why Tara wasn’t about to let her slip into it just by letting her be alone now. She hadn’t told Willow about any fear of the girl choosing a battle she couldn’t win – the thoughts she had about her own choice now – but she’d be willing to bet that her sweet lady probably knew all about what she was thinking anyway. She usually did. They were like two sides of the same coin in many respects. They had two faces… but at the core they were one and the same.

Tara watched as the girl blinked, she was blinking back tears right now which seemed like a good step – she was starting to let herself go. Starting to let what she’d been holding inside come out as it had to do eventually. And she could only do that when she felt safe – it was a survival thing and this girl was clearly a survivor. Those brown eyes were watering. Filling. Tara could have held her arms out to her, offered her a hug or some comfort. But for some reason she couldn’t. The girl… It was like this really wasn't the time for those tears. Here, now… maybe with she and Willow… it just wasn't what she needed now. They’d come eventually.

But for now she blinked them back. Held it inside again and the aura settled a little. Not resolved, still a mass of emotion but no longer surging. As if the near miss with the tears had relieved the tiniest, essential, bit of tension. When the tears were gone she looked at Tara again.

Tara wondered if, perhaps, the girl was questioning why there hadn’t been an offer of comfort? She felt terrible for not offering it to her. Anyone else… Anyone she knew and she would have made the offer. Tara hated to see people in pain – she did all she could to relieve that – but if she’d hugged this girl… Well, it would have been an impression of someone who really cared for her but… Tara knew her pain, or something like it, but that didn’t mean that she had any way to really lessen it. It would have been false because she wasn’t the person this girl really needed. She needed her Mom, her dead Dad or some real friends not someone who she’d only really met twice and didn’t even know the name of.

In her own case Willow had been her salvation in the end. Revenge had been what allowed her to continue – drove her onwards – but only Willow had taken her from that path. Only she’d been able to. No matter how much she might have called it justice only Willow could bring her back to the light. And, funnily enough, despite all the risks she took to try and ‘save’ the woman she loved – and who was already dead – it had been Willow who ended up saving her. Took her from the life and gave her another, better, one. She wasn’t sure where this girl’s salvation was going to come from if not from them.

In a person who was hurting, that sort of pain needed something to replace it, or it left a huge dark festering hole inside… which led to bad things. Bad deeds and thoughts would fill it if they could. They would fill it until they overflowed and escaped into the world. The question was… what else was this girl going to find to fill that hole? Tara wondered because she didn’t intend to let it be anything bad – at least not in these first, crucial hours.

Crucial because it was in those that she’d killed her first vampires, and once she’d started… only one thing had stayed her hand. One that looked like the woman she’d always been meant to love.

She couldn’t see that happening to this girl.

----------------------------

Willow watched the tears come and, just as she’d thought the kid was going to break down, go away again. Then she watched as the youngest of the three of them watched Tara for a little while longer. The two of them, on the same level, were able to commune in a way that Willow, standing at a slight distance above them, couldn’t share. Maybe if she had sat down… but that could have been kind of aggressive. Interview skills courses had shown her that. You had to try and avoid confronting a person with too many other people they didn’t know – if you wanted to avoid appearing hostile that was.

Back here, she was kind of a neutral observer. Which was good – not a threat. Not entering the girl’s equation. Also she hadn’t been looked at in a long time now. Actually, it was almost as if she was being visually avoided.

And hey, even if she was neutral, she was still deeply in love and that had to resonate somewhere. Love did… It was obvious.

Finally, just as she thought how long it had been since the girl looked her way, those eyes flickered towards her again and rather than measuring her there was a question there. Willow was about to say ‘Hey’ but there really wasn't any point to that now was there? Instead she gave the almost-patented Willow-wave and one of the smiles that went with it. She’d never seen the smile, but it always made Tara smile too. She wanted to be welcoming… not at all pushing to find out what else was down under the town. Even though really wanted – needed – to know.

Tara would never agree to rush this girl, even though she was obviously pretty tough, especially not after what she must have suffered recently. Willow, as usual, was more impatient than her lover, but she knew that Tara was right. Right as usual too. Tara was blessed with a greater empathy than anyone else that Willow had ever known. She’d follow her lover’s lead in this even though she might have known they needed the information, she never would have plucked up the courage to push the girl for it anyway.

The reaction to her wave was sort of unexpected though. There, on the girls face, were the tiniest beginnings of a smile. It was the sort of little success that gave Willow hope for her. She might have lost… but she was able to see other things than the grief, if only for a few seconds. Grief was important. It was a natural process. But where there was blame involved… it could consume you. She knew that Tara had been scared of that, on this girl’s behalf, since they’d read about the note she’d left the police.

It was Tara’s own nightmare, being sucked back into that, and now it was her nightmare scenario for this girl too.

What if she blamed herself in some way – for not being able to help or something like that? It could be bad.

The girl looked back at Tara, then to Willow. There might have been some wondering there, and then another question. Tara must have seen it too, interpreted it as such. Her lover held up her hand, back towards her, inviting her to take it. Willow came nearer and touched it, gently stroking the back of it. As she did she had a sense of the trepidation in Tara. The fear that this could still all go horribly wrong and that they still might lose the girl. That wasn't going to happen, Willow was sure of it.

By way of reassurance she wove her fingers into Tara’s and gently squeezed, only remembering after a moment of that to return her attention to the girl and her reaction to their togetherness. She meant, with that squeeze, to say ‘We’re in love.’ People in love… well they couldn’t be all bad. The love part of them, at least, had to be good. The girl’s eyes had widened a little, surprise perhaps, and then she was past it as Willow touched Tara’s cheek too.

There was the beginnings of a smile again. A different smile though. Not an amused one. More a… ‘well that’s okay then’ one. Love was showing her the way, which was good.

All that left her with was the decision, after their introduction, about whether to sit or to stand.

Willow still couldn’t decide. She really was indecisive-girl tonight.

-----------------------------

They were clearly together. Which was… well, it was okay. It was reassuring to Toni. She’d been so afraid, last night, that the red-haired one was another of those… creatures. Because she’d seen it in her head even if what was there was different to what had been in front of her. The red haired woman didn’t look the same as she had in the vision that had been put there. The terrible, horrible, feelings. They were feelings more than visions. In those the redhead been killed, sucked dry and the she had been pale… pale like a vampire and with horrible red lips that could have been stained by the blood she’d seen that vampire shed. In her vision at least.

This wasn’t the same person as that had been.

And yet it was.

But if they were in love then… well there wasn’t anything she could imagine that would bring a person to be in love with a creature like that. Love was special, she’d always been told that. No one could love… The things that vampires did. She’d… Dad had warned her in the cage about some of the things that they’d said they would do – to her and to others. Suggested. Sex stuff that he hadn’t spelled out to her but she could guess at when he’d used the word for ‘having.’ But that was sex, violence. It wasn't love.

What it looked like these two had, it was definitely love. There was probably sex going on too, but that was just the way that people were together… she’d had her own sexy urges in the last couple of years. Dad had said…

Dad was dead. Gone. The vampires had taken him from her and then they’d tried to kill her – but these two women had saved her.

Twice.

She didn’t think she’d ever met any gay women before, not knowingly anyway, but it really didn’t make any difference to her. It wasn't where her own desires lay and more importantly she wasn’t sure that happiness, desire or even love were a part of her life anymore. Her dad was dead. But they’d saved her life. Twice. And they’d done that by killing vampires.

It was, obviously, what they did. No coincidence that they’d found her twice.

Her dad was dead. Killed by vampires and the police couldn’t help her.

Next to all that meeting two people in love, which Dad had always thought was the most important thing you could say about people, was pretty trivial and somehow reassuring. She’d lived a life where most of the world didn’t think she was ‘normal’ she had a much broader definition of what ‘normal’ was.

And she didn’t have to like them or trust them more than necessary to let them help her – which they obviously wanted to do – get the things which had killed him and which were still hurting all the other people down there. The police couldn’t help her – or wouldn’t – maybe they could. If they believed her, and didn’t think she was crazy. These women would believe her all right, they obviously knew what vampires could do and did something about it themselves. That also meant they were very dangerous… but the police had guns. They were dangerous. They could be, should have been, trusted. She tossed the idea back and forth in her mind.

Besides… she needed somewhere to go. She knew couldn’t stay out here. Eventually vampires or something else would get her.

She needed to be somewhere that wasn’t her Mom’s or being taken into care.

She needed to be somewhere where she could still do what she needed to about the vampires and stop them hurting people.

And if someone there cared about her – even a little – then she could feel just a tiny bit better.

She’d made her choice because there really was only one.

-------------------------

They were all there, watching each other, unsure what to do next. It wasn’t something they’d really thought about. Tara might have considered it… but if she had, then she hadn’t mentioned it to Willow. Communication had been the problem and they… well, they might just have overcome that problem by as simple a gesture as holding hands. At least the initial stages – making the breakthrough.

Tara’s hand was cool as it was interlinked with her own. Willow had seen the girl staring at their connection and her reaction, which had visibly passed through her very tense body when she appreciated what was happening. That could have been a bad thing but, when she was already tense, it was actually pretty good.

The girl relaxed a little.

Love, Willow thought, will always win the day. And not just for them it seemed. If there was still a wariness in the kid then it was only natural. They couldn’t expect her to be perfectly okay, now could they? Not yet but hopefully now, the worst of the initial problem was behind them. No more running away or anything like that? She hoped so, anyway. It was tough to find any way to communicate when someone was running away from you.

Slowly Tara’s hand slipped from their connection, fingers lingering as long as they could, catching the two little ones for the tiniest moment of wrestling, which the girl might not have been able to see, before Tara reached out with that same hand and offered it to the girl, to help her up and to get them on their way. The smile… the hand. Perhaps Willow was biased, she knew Tara so well and she knew what those lips and hands were capable of - in both smutty and non-smutty ways – but… why wasn't the girl taking Tara’s hand?

Tara was left standing there, virtually blanked as the girl pushed herself to her feet and gestured as if to ask which way they had to go. Virtually though – not actually. There hadn’t been a determined effort to look like she was blanking Tara. It could have simply been something that happened. Self-reliance, which this kid definitely seemed to have to go with her obvious strength, might have made her want to get up by herself.

She could have made it look a lot worse if she’d wanted to. She could have slapped the offered hand away. She could have given Tara a look which wouldn’t have left any doubt. Or shook her head. She hadn’t done any of those things.

Or, it still could have really been something the girl meant. Willow nodded down the street to reply to the silent question and the girl set off in that direction. The nod was all she trusted herself to do – they had saved her life. Twice. And she did that to Tara?

But then, Willow thought as she slipped her hand back into Tara’s rejected one, they had no idea what the girl had been through. It was impossible to be mad with her right now because whatever it was… it had been bad.

Besides, this was her hand as much as it was Tara. Her baby offered it to her often enough. Gave it to her too. Possession was like, nine-tenths of the law.

*********************





-------------------------


If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.


------------------------

[Cicca]

* Wonderful stuff with Willow comparing "life" as a vampire and life as Willow. Fascinating. Must've been quite unnerving for her.... Although maybe she didn't notice it at the time because she was too busy being traumatised by the whole experience.



* Bath-time with Tara. Oh indeed, that could be fun. Where is that other hand anyway?



* Willow seems to be the one for safety and fun with the slaying. Ok, not fun fun, but... Sorta fun?



* "Everything". Goes nicely with always



* Tara

Quote:

---

Next to all that meeting two people in love, which Dad had always thought was the most important thing you could say about people

---

I love Toni's dad!

Quote:

---

Besides, this was her hand as much as it was Tara. Her baby offered it to her often enough. Gave it to her too. Possession was like, nine-tenths of the law.

---

Damn straight, Willow! So to speak. Imagine someone not wanting to hold Tara's hand!

“Spirit of Sappho, ... I summon you. Come fill me with your big, dykey power!” ~ Final Exam by Tommo

Edited by: Cicca at: 7/29/03 12:10 am

[heraldgal]

I am glad you don’t mind me breaking into your story with old stuff. I must say though that it is hard to avoid reading the more recent comments and not spoil myself.



I’ve just finished reading part 76 and as you said there, it was the darkest piece so far. I should have seen it coming but did not want to believe that Tara would stake Willow. I imagine that it was the only way to do it other than to give her her soul back.



“The ribbons collapsed as if in slow motion as wrists and ankles disintegrated within them.”



This was a chilling visual as a lot of this story has been. Tara thinking that this was the only way was heartbreaking. You do a nice job of getting into the character’s heads. As much as I will miss Vamp Willow, I am looking forward to a real Willow and what that will mean for the girls. She will be real, right? I can only wonder what Willow will be like.



Again, thank you for letting me comment and for moreso for writing it. It has been such a pleasure to read this so far.



Cathy

[tiredsoul]

Embarrassing me? That’s worth a blush or two … Making you write more? A benefit for us all … Scampering and general annoyance? Priceless.







It’s good to see that Willow feels the benefit of practice. Practice is important.



I think Tara was pretty smart here in how she approached Toni … not pushing, physically or magically touching, not giving Toni anything to run away from.



And I have to say that I really liked how the simple movement of Willow slipping her hand into Tara’s conveyed so much to Toni. As you said in the last part, “a simple touch could carry the weight of a thousand words.”



Now it appears that Toni will let W/T help her. At least, it appears that way. But maybe that would be too easy.



You're not easy, are you?



Of course, the ending was great … Just as good as the first one



Thanks.



--celia

---------------------------------

When innocence is shattered
... madness is inevitable
www.gotlicky.com