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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby watty » Wed Jul 27, 2005 6:13 pm

Agent hidden bunny reporting for duty, Taskmaster, sir! May I suggest, sir, that updating on a Wednesday night is just as effective as Sunday, thank you.

What a great beginning. Gentle touches without the need to go further -- sometimes that is exactly what they need. I'm not surprised at how Tara is not in the mood for sex, cos of the events of the day. I chuckle that the great smut bunnies aren't able to say the words though. :lol

I got a big awwwww out of
"You're so soft"

cos sometimes simple words are what is needed.

there was nothing sexual about her caresses - just love and care, given freely, and bestowed on Tara's smooth form in the knowledge that her touch was welcome, anywhere. The experience caused a bloom of pleasure within Tara's chest that was not arousal but satisfaction, almost like the aftermath of a strong climax

What a wonderful description of the feeling of being loved. Yes, the emotions can be more intense than sex, thanks for including this.

Of course next morning, when they got to Miss Maclay and Student Will, it's another way of expressing love. And if it gives Tara back her sense of control over her life, that's all to the good. Heh, naming body parts, eh? I got a big laugh out of that.
re: g-spot --: it... god... makes... me... COME!"

well, that about sums it up :thud

Let's not forget the Daniel/Cordy/Harmony interaction. Harmony is always good for the not-so-innocent laughs. How could I not mention
Platypussy Galore

I was looking at the online shop at Taronga Zoo and they have the funniest T-shirts that have koalas, elephants, and a very nice navy blue one of platypus, I couldn't help but giggle.

And lastly,
"I was kind of born with a laptop and modem already attached."

:lol I hope the modem is wireless, heehee.

Great job, as usual, thanks!
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby arwen276 » Fri Jul 29, 2005 12:16 pm

Oh My God! Chris!!

That was friggin' amazing!
:clap :clap :clap

It's just wow, and I've just read the last 2 updates...I'm still under the effect of the Sex-Ed course...

THANK YOU for this jewel!

~Arwen
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby meretricious » Fri Jul 29, 2005 1:24 pm

chris, don't know if you've ever read any of the callahan's crosstime saloon books, but they take place in a bar where in between keeping the world safe from alien insvasions, they drink a lot and have weekly punning and tall tale contests. the hightest complement that can be payed to a truly awful pun is that all the patrons run from the bar screaming. this was my reacation to plattapussy galore, it was truly, spectacularly awful, in the best possible way. the set-up, harmony's momentary competence, the freakin hilarious buttons and thier supervillian uses, all wonderful.
and the bath sequence, big sigh. reminded me why i reread hellabore more than prob. any other fic. simply perfect. the problem with giving you fb chris, is that i run out of superlatives. i'd have to go to thesaurus.com to even come up with new ones for the smut. it was smuttastic! ~mary
you toyed with my heart like it was a toy heart ~ lisa simpson
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby terra21 » Fri Jul 29, 2005 5:48 pm

Chris,

Again a fabulous update. Sweet massages without the looming expectation of sex is awesome, especially on those long hard days. So sweet that Willow understands, and Tara knows that she understands. And even without the sex this is a very intimate scene.

Now about Teacher Tara...where do I sign up for classes????!!! To start off this update with a caring massage/bath and then end with this angsty role playing scenario, whew, totally hot!

LMAO!!
"UhhhUhhhUhhhUhhhUhhh-" Willow moaned, one long exclamation voicing her rapidly rising pleasure, until she seemed on the verge of peaking, and Tara's hand stilled.

"Uhh?" she asked weakly.
I can just see Willow's eyes grow large at the anticlimax.

I love Tara in sexy characters as this, she is so capable of being a teacher, yet having the ability to melt Willow with a "half sexy octave."

Great smut Chris!
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby robotguru » Fri Jul 29, 2005 8:07 pm

0013 checking in for duty, hope no one here has tridekaphobia (the irrational fear of the number thirteen). I saw the tapes of the interview, on a sidenote, he looked pretty uncomfortable, what exactly did the agents do to knock him out, anyway, do i really want to know?

In his inebriated state, there's very little chance that McDonald was able to lie to the agents even if he wanted to, again, i'd say that he wouldn't due to some past event, he was clearly uncomfortable in their presence.

The information was interesting and it should help the agents in their mission and me in mine...unfortunately, i am not at liberty to discuss it on this channel. The fate of smut and the free world rests on this mission.

Agent 0013, British MI6, signing off (and for the record, 007 isn't all that, the only reason he gets publicity is because he is bedding Moneypenny, besides, some of us get the job done without spilling enough claret (blood, sorry, been playing The Getaway) to paint the town red, that doesn't get so much attention, and can anyone say...collateral damage?).

heh, i can see why Irene does it :p this chapter was nicely done, you never disapoint. By the by, i read Hellebore some time ago on your site, can i just say that it rocked? :p
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby LesbianJedi87 » Fri Jul 29, 2005 11:57 pm

oh my god.
:drool :drool
I almost fell outta my chair!! hahaha
THIS WAS FANTASTIC!
-Rose
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby Darth Pacula » Sun Jul 31, 2005 1:47 am

G'day Chris, whoops ... I mean 'C'. Wouldn't want to accidentally violate any Ministry protocols now would I? I get the impression that I wouldn't survive being the human equivalent of a crash test dummy in Anya's workshop. :-D

Truly inspired idea. I love James Bond, and all the other associated movies and TV shows that lampoon the whole genre. But you, you take taking the piss to a whole new level. I bloody well love it. :bow

How have you spoofed the spy genre, let me count the ways. Or not, because you've done a hell of a lot of spoofing and I'm too damn lazy to count, so I'll just sum up my favorite parts.

The little bit about villainous gloating was a hoot. They always do it don't they, but it's always a mistake. Same thing with evil cackling. Sure, it's fun and all, but you inevitably end up missing something important, like the hero escaping or something else like that to completely bollocks up their half-assed schemes.

Leather Bunny and Cheerleader Bunny?! Superb.

It's my shtick and I'm shticking to it
:rofl

Special Ministry for Unconventional Threats - great name, even better acronym. In hindsight, it also could've been Unconventional Tactics as well, given some of the hijinks you've put the girls through. Great choice for 'M'; Lilah fits the role like a glove.

Stunning way to introduce Willow and Tara. Who wouldn't be awe-struck by a vision like that? I especially liked this little line.

her feet continued to carry her forward, from 'in-the-same-room' to 'should-have-introduced-self-already' right up to 'I'm-a-creepy-stalker' territory


I absolutely adore your naming convention for the chapters. But what about the first one? It's not named! :eyebrow

From Anya with love has to be my personal favourite so far. I laughed so much I had to stop reading to wipe the tears away, and I was doing full on Sandra Bullock style snorts. I might actually have broken a rib, but it was worth it. The concept of having all the usual gadgets disguised as sex toys was divinely inspired. :lol :rofl

"Biometric synthetic polymer," she explained, "we're calling it the Illyria suit. It should be pretty useful, if we can iron out the bugs. Fortunately it needs someone else's help to get in and out of."


Great little reference to Angel season 5 there, and a hilarious little pun to boot. :-D

Oz is an interesting choice for the evil genius, but how could you go past the same guy who played Scott Evil, especially given the way Goldmember ended. Plus, the name Osbourne is giving me Spiderman flashbacks.

Tara's internal dancer of joy got right back up and started dancing again, this time joined by a whole Broadway chorus line, jugglers on unicycles, and a trained elephant balancing on a podium at the back of the stage.


Wow, that's one impressive mental lineup.

Tara has a cuddle pillow? I do the same thing. But I have to agree with her unconscious descision to forgo it for Willow. Who wouldn't?

'I'm that pillow! Yay!'


'Oh my god!' Willow thought again, as Tara continued to gently grind herself against her thigh, 'I'm... I'm being made out with! In my sleep... kind of... what do I do? Tara Maclay is doing naughty things to me!'
...
'Awesome!'


Damn skippy! :-D

Harmony Kendall! Yes! Perfect choice for the incompetent henchwoman. Who can go past that slow motion slap fest with Xander from season 4, not to mention season 5 of Angel.

"I hate to interrupt your Lex Luthoring," a female voice echoed around the office.

"Then don't," Daniel said calmly.

-----------

"You're going to leave it up to Harmony, aren't you?" the voice asked. "God, what is it with villains and incompetent lackeys?"


Oh, come on, Cordy! Using incompetent lackeys is a foundation of being an evil genius. Everyone knows that! It's right up there with building in a self-destruct mechanism into your secret doomsday weapon. :-D

The Song! Nobody does it better! Classic choice. Although it's somewhat spoiled for me because I keep thinking of that bloody L J Hooker real estate add that used it. Not the mental image I was aiming for.

'Just in case the fortieth floor floods, and then I'm attacked by aqua-monkey commandos. Hey, lookin' good!' Willow turned around in front of the mirror, studying herself. 'Wow, look at my butt! This outfit's hiding nothing... but wow, I look good. I want to grab my butt, and I'm me!'


Again, I'm in danger of hyperventilating and passing out from lack of oxygen I'm laughing so much. :lol

"She's been at the para-gel, the stupid stuff's gone banana-flavoured. And... it didn't used to be this slippery, I'm sure."

"So..." Willow said, trying not to laugh as she moved towards the elevators, in a confusing pattern of sprints and sidesteps that meant the various surveillance cameras kept just missing her. "...you're on a rooftop, covered in banana-flavoured lubricant?"


Anya strikes again! And using the same stuff to shoot Oz and Harmony was a crack up. Vexed indeed. :lol

Cacofonix! Yes! Asterix rules! :glasses

Wild Willow Sauce? I think I need to lie down for a while. In a cold shower.

Naming the ship the Disco Volante was a nice touch. Good little homage to the Bond movies. And the little scene ripped-off, sorry ... 'inspired by' Charlies Angel's Full Throttle was fun. But seriously, did that scene in the movie make any sense at all? But using Cordy as the 'hench-wench' was inspired. Ya gotta love her communication device though. :-D

Sierra Echo X-Ray Yankee One


Did anyone else notice this little joke? SEXY ONE? Nice touch.

Nice tango themed homage to True Lies. I love that movie, and it's even got Eliza Dushku in it, pre Buffy.

Big guy, real tall, badly-fitting tux, face looks a bit lop-sided
"Former US Navy Seal, British SAS, French secret service, Omega Branch special agent... bits of everything


:lol I love the way you describe your version of Adam. Had me cackling for yonks. The verbal sparring between Harmony and Cordy was great, and I loved the reference to the killing machine from Austin Powers. Using Harmony to explain the plan was hilarious. Honestly, can you think of anybody less qualified to explain anything? :-D

"Taser to the genitals," Willow replied cheerfully, "his, not mine, obviously."


OW! The very idea almost makes me feel sorry for Lindsay. Still, better than getting whacked by a karoke singing sidekick I suppose. :-D

"Crap!" Cordelia exclaimed.


Great way for the traitor to be uncovered. Homage to the start of Cordy's little Pylean adventure methinks.

"Give yourselves up and you won't be harmed!"


Please! Is anyone ever stupid enough to believe that? Well, maybe Harmony.

"Get my helicopter ready!" she demanded.

"I didn't know you had a helicopter," one of the minions said, puzzled.

"Get a helicopter ready!" Harmony amended.

-------

"Harmony's going to chase us," Willow sighed, stretching her shoulders as she switched the car's controls to manual. "I don't know whether to be relieved or insulted... what?"

----------------

"Harmony's capable, surely-" he paused, hearing himself, and revised: "Even Harmony should be capable of dropping a depth charge without messing it up."

"You'd think," Cordelia said archly.

"You've been instructing her, haven't you?" Daniel asked her sharply. "She keeps going on about the 'supervillainess training' she's been getting from you."

"I've been doing what I can," Cordelia admitted. "But there's only so much that can be achieved without a complete brain transfusion. Or infusion, more like. Look, she's a nice girl, and if she's not actually ruthless she's at least air-headed enough that the idea of morality doesn't occur to her, but face it - she's never going to be a capable villain."


That last bit reminds me of an episode of Kim Possible where Shego was tutoring Senor Senior Junior. :lol Boy, everone's taking potshots at Harmony aren't they. Me included. Oh well.

The whole section with Harmony in the chopper had me cacking myself. It would've had to have been the windshield wipers wouldn't it. Great chase scene too.

She brought down the Pylean anti-music crusade almost single-handed... and Sensei Snyder and his ninja hall monitors?


Good god, you're killing me here! :lol

Your version of Cordy is one mixed up little kitty, isn't she?

Platypussy!!! And the requisite death traps were superb. :rofl

Damn, mate. You ROCK. Now I just have to hope I've recovered by the time the next part comes out. :bow

Bye,
Paul
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby LtSticks » Thu Aug 04, 2005 3:08 pm

....



f***in HELL! *faints*


*10 minutes later*

Ok, I think I can come up with a more coherent way of expressing my appreciation for the latest update now.

Funny, sweet then amazingly hot. I really need a gf right now.

Can't wait for more!

~Sticks
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby tarawhipped » Thu Aug 04, 2005 6:51 pm

You know, Chris, every time you update I think "there's no way in hell he's gonna be able to top THIS one for sexy comic fantabulousness," and yet every time you do! Oz, Cordy and Harmony have got to be the most bizarre trio of villains (and villainesses) ever assembled, and I ADORE them (well, maybe not Oz, cause of the nature of his evil scheme...though he hasn't sent Harmony an exploding Victorian-era swimsuit yet, so if nothing else, he seems to offer job security). Dialogue like this had me giggling for days:
"And look at her!" Harmony went on. "She wants to help out so much - can't you just, like, feel the villainy radiating off her?"

Cordelia gazed down at the platypus, which had stopped circling and was drifting lazily around.

"Only compared to you," she said.
The tenderness of Willow and Tara bathing each other was so lovely that I found myself not even thinking about the smut, until....HOLY SMUT!!! That was just so frickin' yummy. Is Agent Hot Tamale's house wired for video by any chance? :-D This was a well deserved break for these intrepid agents, but I can't wait for them to continue the mission! Bravo, General! :cool

-Agent Whipped Bunny
"I hate fairies! They're like little slutty bug monsters!" -- Angela
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby taralicious » Mon Aug 08, 2005 10:56 pm

Agent Brer Rabbit here to comment on the Elysian turn of events in the latest transcript of Agents Adorabunny and Shy Bunny in their downtime, or is that goin' down time.
Tara, reeling from the betrayal of Cordelia to the side of anti-smut, is tempted by Willow's thigh upon the bathtub and utters a variation of Benjamin Braddock's line "Agent Adorabunny, you're trying to seduce me."
The memberships to spa treatments would increase exponentially if they would offer aqua-massage and sponge baths like what Tara is treated to by Willow's pampering.
Harmony is again well, Harmony, Goddess love her, "the evil pet store". that sill cracks me up.
Imagine Harmony with Maud Adams's voice watching her pet swin around in the wading pool saying "That's my little platypussy."
In regarding the educational tutorial which closes out this update, i can only imagine that the ministry has some sort of vicarious brain wave decoder which reads the most vivid and erotic fantasy between the two star agents which other agents have fantasized about reading transcripts of and have provided us with just such wonderful visual imagery.
Tara as the Sex Ed. teacher and Willow regressing to the character of her teenage self is the stuff of any agent's most intense and mindblwoing fantasies.
A dark stocking clad tara complete with black lace bra and panties and a overall clad Willow are just what the Ministry ordered to relieve the tension that Daniel and Cordelia's diabolical scheme might ever come to fruition.
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 28/Jul/05)

Postby Artemis » Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:59 am

Hello Kittens and Bunnies. I can't believe how long I've let this story go without an update - bad me :ashamed Sorry for the absence, and thanks to all of you who're still around.

If it makes up for it at all, my 'chapter' of the Elemental series will be up in a few weeks' time, and I think you'll be pleased with it. You'll definitely be pleased with the other short stories, two of which are already posted: 'Moon' by MissKittys Ball O Yarn, and 'Fire' by tarawhipped. If you haven't already, go check 'em out, they're awesome, and there's more to come.

(Also, on a non Willow/Tara note, I'm just starting work on an original novel-length story. I have no idea if I'll be able to sell it, or if so to who, but I'm excited by the prospect nonetheless. It's called Exo.)

Now then, replies:

Agent Gay Bunny: Thanks for dibsing me, it's nice to feel wanted :blush Heh, that's right, people were going to throttle you for not getting to the meeting under the tree back then. And now, it's for keeping us hanging on the moment of Buffy's interruption... plus ca change... Of course, I'm hardly the person who should be drawing attention to delays between updates :paranoid

I had a blast writing both love scenes for chapter 11. The bath scene was initially going to go at the end of the previous chapter, but that was long already, and I wanted a bit more time to work on it. In retrospect, I think maybe I should have done it that way though, and had Willow and Tara's tenderness in the bath contrast with Harmony spanking the heck out of Cordy. Ah well, hindsight. I really liked working on the teacher/student scene though, not only because, admit it, who hasn't as a teenager fantasised about a hot teacher, but also because I adore Tara in a dominant role. She's such a gentle character that I think she makes a great domme - like the contrast you note, about her working her upset out within herself, rather than externalising it like some lamebrained action hero.

Harmony is definitely not the brightest crayon in the box :lol - in fact, she may be a misplaced texta, rather than a crayon at all. There was a bit of Dr. Evil in that whole evil pet thing - to Bond in general, with the sharks and pythons and electric eels and pirahnas and so forth, but the head-mounted laser beam was pure Austen Powers. The evil pet concept was also the only way I could think of to use a parody of 'Octopussy' as a chapter title without being vulgar :D

Fallen Dove: Of course you can be a bunny - I dub thee Agent Raven Bunny. Sadly no gadgets are provided, but your badge awaits right here. Sorry about the delay, and thanks for the feedback. I really love Bond movies, especially the villains - though I'd like the heroes more if they tended less towards Bond in a tuxedo and more towards hot women in skimpy outfits :D There are plenty of skimpily-clad women, of course, but I like it when they get to do something constructive, rather than just stand around looking pretty. Needless to say, I adore Pussy Galore.

Where do I get my ideas? Well for once I can give a definitive answer to that question: it was the three founding Smut Bunnies, tarawhipped, wickedreds and wimpy, and their Smut Bunnies theme song, to the tune of Goldfinger. Having just finished the G-rated Finding Miss Kitty Fantastico, I wanted to do a fun, sexy fic, emphasis on the sexy, and the idea of turning Smut Bunnies into a story appeared at just the right time.

Agent Hidden Bunny: Thanks :) Updating on Wednesdays or Sundays isn't so much an issue as just updating at some point in a vaguely timely manner... I'll be trying to do better. I was really pleased with the bath scene, as I said to Car up above - what with there being so much smutty goodness flying around, I wanted at least one scene to ground Willow and Tara's relationship, and emphasise that it's not just two hot women seeing how many orgasms they can fit into each day. They really love each other - that's why we're all here, after all.

Arwen: Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.

Mary: Thanks, and you're right, there should be more synonyms for 'good smut'. I'll try to figure something out :) I've never read those stories you mention, but I'm glad to have sent you running and screaming at the bad-punness of Platypussy.

Agent Terra Bunny: Thank you. I think a lot of people would like classes with Miss Maclay - sadly for us, she insists on small class sizes, one in fact, and somehow her teaching schedule always gets filled up with Willow's name before anyone else can sign up to it. I was really pleased to be able to make the smut scenes not just smut, but a part of the story as well - of course, this chapter it's back to being wicked hot as much as possible :D

Agent Hot Tamale: Thanks for extending to Willow and Tara such a warm welcome, and keeping them in such lovely accomodations until they were ready to move on to the next mission - I'm sure they'll be missed (but like the rest of us, I hope you enjoy following their exploits from their mission reports). I had fun playing with a domme/sub kind of game without it being strictly Mistress/Kitten - and like I said before, who hasn't had a fantasy-worthy teacher at some point? Rest assured, it won't be the only alternate game Willow and Tara play.

Robotguru: Thanks, I hope you enjoy this further mission log of the Agents' activities.

LesbianJedi87: Thank you :)

Darth Pacula: Thanks. Wow, that's a lot of feedback :D I knew, even before I realised that Lilah's last name starts with the proper letter, that I wanted her as M - she's got the right feeling of maturity to be in charge of the slightly more young-woman-feeling Willow and Tara, she's sexy as all hell, and she's got the strength needed for a role like M - she couldn't be just a desk jockey, M has to be someone the agents under her command would respect as their leader. And, admittedly, I have a huge crush on Stephanie Romanov :blush

Speaking of people I adore (aside from Willow and Tara, 'cause we all know that), yep, Harmony. Aside from the hilarious slap-fest you mentioned she never really clicked for me on Buffy, but when she showed up on Angel I thought she outshone the whole rest of the season single-handedly. Given how villains always hire underlings who are a bit less than bright, how could I resist?

I know exactly what you mean about thinking about the blasted TV ad when I hear 'Nobody Does It Better' - I spent a long while with the actual song playing looped on Media Player to get the ad version out of my head. Luckily I'm 'cured' now :) Plus, it has good associations for me, what with it coming from The Spy Who Loved Me, and Barbara Bach being hugely hot there.

Yup, inspired by Full Throttle - it was very inspiring, after all. I bought the DVD pretty much just for Demi Moore, damn that woman is hot! As you also noted, yes, the tango was taken from True Lies - Eliza is so cute, all adorable and little.

I have too much fun writing Cordy and Harmony sniping at each other, it threatens to derail the whole story sometimes. But there is a reason Harmony's in on things, and giving briefings, even if she does get easily distracted. I haven't seen the episode of KP with Shego and Senor Senior Jr together - lousy Australian non-showing-Kim-Possible TV stations - but I do love the show, and there's more than a bit of Shego in Cordy (it's no coincidence that her outfits always tend to be green). And yes, Cordy is one mixed up kitty - but rest assured, we'll find out by the end what's going on with her.

Agent Stick Bunny: Thanks :)

Agent Whipped Bunny: Thank you. Well it was a longer break in the mission than I intended, but Willow and Tara are finally back in the fight against Oz and his minions of variable competence. There is a reason he hasn't gotten rid of Harmony... but where would the fun be if I just told you? :D Hope you continue to enjoy the laughs and the smut.

Agent Brer Rabbit: Thanks. I had a blast writing Teacher Tara - there's really nothing you can do with a hot teacher fantasy that isn't sexy. :) So far as having a brain wave decoder... I admit to nothing :D I'm glad you're enjoying the mission, and I hope you likewise enjoy this next escapade.
Chris Cook
Through the Looking-glass - Every world needs a Willow and Tara.
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Smut Bunnies! chapter 12

Postby Artemis » Mon Oct 17, 2005 9:00 am

Title: Smut Bunnies
Author: Chris Cook
Rating: NC-17, naturally
Summary: Secret agents. Supervillains. Adventure. Excitement. Smut. Lots of smut. And saving the world, too.
Spoilers: None.
Copyright: Based on characters from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, created by Joss Whedon and his talented minionators, and all manner of things including the James Bond series by Ian Fleming/Eon Productions, and The Avengers by Brian Clemens. All original material (I'm sure there's some in there somewhere) is copyright 2005 Chris Cook.
Feedback: Please. Here, or to alia@netspace.net.au

[hr]

SMUT BUNNIES!

Chapter Twelve: Dr. Yes!


Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, heading east
Kitten One: Hypersonic Ministry Transport Aircraft
2130 Hours (GMT)


"Briefing incoming," the pilot of the super-jet announced over the cabin radio. Willow and Tara separated from each other's embrace and returned their seats to the upright position, just in time for the luxury passenger cabin's wall screen to activate.

"Good evening Bunnies," M said when she appeared.

"Ma'am," the two agents replied.

"I'm sorry we didn't have time to brief you earlier," the Ministry commander continued. "We've had reports coming in from all the agents we could tap on this case, and we thought it best to get you girls en route while we compiled our information. We believe we're up against the clock on this one."

An image of Mr. McDonald appeared in a picture-in-picture to M's side, and was quickly replaced by a series of corporate hierarchy diagrams.

"Your captive has given us a break," M explained. "The support McDonald lent to Osbourne's operation was primarily in setting up smokescreen companies to conceal the extent of Mr. Osbourne's activities outside the purview of his own corporation. We've been able to dismantle some key camouflage on the corporate landscape and discern a lot more about what he's been up to."

The rolling diagrams of McDonald's companies vanished, replaced by a series of orbital photos of various landmarks: Versailles, the Coliseum, the Brandenburg Gate, the Millennium Dome, and others.

M continued her briefing: "Osbourne Industries has had remote public dealings with Centennial Construction, a specialist consultancy group involved in a lot of major construction and restoration projects in Europe. There's hardly a major landmark on the continent, new and old, that Centennial hasn't either worked on, or constructed new facilities to compliment. To the public eye, Osbourne's interest is merely diversifying his portfolio and reaping the returns of investment in a profitable firm."

"But he's involved more deeply than that?" Tara asked.

"He is," M nodded. "Our new information suggests that Osbourne has been using Centennial's construction activities as a front to build infrastructure for his Panacea project. We've sent missions into several facilities already, and found data analysis complexes, computer centres and transmission control networks built into at least ten sites spread over six countries. Practically every major European data network, short of the Smut-Net itself, has been fatally compromised - in the event of a release of the Panacea virus, all defensive measures would be futile. There was even a rebroadcaster buried in a refurbished section of Buckingham Palace, and I suspect we're going to catch hell from the Queen when she hears about that in the morning briefing."

"Can we shut the network down?" Willow asked.

"We've got our best agents on the job," M replied, "but so far we're not confident that we can box Osbourne's virus in, in the event that he releases it. There are prototype versions of Panacea acting as watchdog programs in every site we've discovered - they make it impossible to trace the locations of other sites, we're lucky to be able to retrieve any data at all. It's a radically advanced program. That's why we're bringing you back to Europe."

"I'll be joining the hacking team?" Willow asked, her voice losing some of its enthusiasm. Tara discreetly took her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"Fred asked for you, but no," M shook her head. "We're keeping you two together. At present, our analysts still believe that our best course of action is to disrupt Osbourne's project, and prevent the release of the virus. Until we can find out how he plans to release it, we can't build a countermeasure strategy we're sure will work. You know Osbourne - it's essential that you continue to engage him directly." Willow nodded, and stroked her thumb over the back of Tara's hand.

"What about Cordelia?" Tara asked quietly.

"That's another reason we don't want you two working separately," M said. "Agent Queen Bunny is likely the most dangerous element of Osbourne's operation - not only for her abilities as an agent, but because the mere fact that she's working for him means our files on her are somehow woefully inaccurate. You know her better than any other field agent we have - you have the best chance of working out what her stake in this is, and finding a way to use that against Osbourne. And," she paused, and continued sombrely, "if worst comes to worst, you're intimately familiar with her fighting skills. If she needs to be taken down, no-one has a better chance."

Tara swallowed.

"Understood," she replied. M and the other images vanished, replaced by an aerial image of a soaring road bridge.

"This is the Millau bridge," M's voice continued. "Centennial was involved in the logistics effort during construction. We have strong evidence to suggest that their activities on the site were far greater than publicly revealed, and we've devoted considerable effort to uncovering any scrap of information about this location. We believe there is a command and control facility beneath the town of Millau, put there during construction of the bridge's foundations and maintenance sites. It's likely to be heavily guarded. Our information points to a coolant conduit as your best means of ingress - it's disguised as part of a ventilation system that was installed a year earlier by another of Osbourne's shell companies in a clinic on the outskirts of the town."

The screen changed to a computer-generated image of a conduit leading from wireframe-rendered buildings on the surface down to a sketchy map of an underground complex.

"If we're right about the purpose of this conduit," M explained, "it'll be full of highly toxic coolant fluid. You'll have to be very careful not to cause a breach when you enter, so as not to endanger anyone on the surface. You'll find sealed wetsuits in Kitten One's storage compartments, they'll protect you for exactly one hour - longer than that, and our tests indicate a chance of a suit breach, which would be dangerous, if not fatal."

"So we'll be swimming through a very long, narrow tunnel filled with poisonous liquid?" Willow summed up.

"Just another day at the office," M nodded, reappearing. "One more thing: Osbourne's private transports are fitted with some kind of stealth technology we haven't yet been able to crack, but from what we've pulled together from secondary sources, we believe he, Queen Bunny, and this personal assistant of his, Harmony, flew to Europe a short time after you escaped them in California. Our analysts give a 60% chance of them being at the Millau facility." Willow and Tara nodded soberly.

"We've prepared an infiltration plan for the hospital, and technical briefings on the coolant conduit you'll be accessing," M continued. "But feel free to improvise however you see fit - you're the agents on the ground out there. Any equipment not already on board Kitten One can be shipped to your landing zone, the Ministry's full resources are at your disposal. Good luck, Bunnies."

"Thank you Ma'am," Willow and Tara said. M's image disappeared.

"Cordelia's there," Tara mused.

"Daniel too," Willow added.

There was a moment's contemplative silence, then, as one, the two agents reached for each other's hands and held them tightly.

"You'll be okay?" Willow asked quietly.

"I won't let you down," Tara promised.

"Pfft, I know that," Willow replied. Tara ducked her head in a bashful grin, then looked back up, into Willow's smile.

"I really do," Willow said.

"If worst comes to worst..." Tara began.

"...I'll be there for you," Willow finished. Tara nodded, with unshed tears in her eyes.

[hr]

Millau, Massif Central, France
Tarn Fertility Clinic
2350 Hours (local time)


Willow, clad in very proper-looking doctor's attire, breezed past the receptionist in the clinic and spoke directly to the duty nurse. Tara sat patiently in the waiting area, enjoying the soft, light feel of the woollen pants and crop top her role called for, and watching Willow air her flawless French with confidence, explaining to the nurse that she and her patient had been delayed several hours due to horrendous traffic, but would nevertheless, in spite of the lateness of the hour, go through a routine check-up that had been scheduled for the afternoon, which she, Willow, was perfectly qualified to perform without requiring any assistance. Tara watched Willow flourish her credentials, and direct the nurse's attention to her appointment in the clinic's schedule database, both of which the Ministry had provided for them. The nurse gave an accepting shrug, and she and Willow fell into a brief, friendly discussion.

The door to the examination suites opened, and a doctor emerged, chatting with her patient and her partner as she handed her key card to the receptionist and checked out for the night. The patient, an elegant brunette who was just beginning to show signs of her pregnancy, caught Tara's eye in passing, glanced at her stomach, and gave a warm smile. Tara returned the gesture, patting her eight-months-pregnant belly contentedly as Willow returned to her.

"All good," the redhead whispered as she helped Tara to her feet and guided her towards the examination suites. "We've got the right room, and we won't be disturbed. You'll be getting a full check-up, so we've got plenty of time."

"Doctor knows best," Tara murmured in reply. Out of sight of the receptionist and the nurse, her hand on the small of Tara's back dropped momentarily to her bottom and gave a quick squeeze.

"Is that really proper doctor-patient behaviour?" Tara asked with an arch smile as the door closed behind them.

"Just testing your reflexes," Willow grinned. "Salle deux, here we are." She held open the door to the examination suite for Tara.

"Thank you," Tara smiled.

"Hey, you're pregnant," Willow quipped. "Anything to help." She secured the door behind them and glanced around the room, which was clean, modern, and arranged around a padded chair with stirrups. Her eyes drifted to Tara, as the blonde leaned against the chair.

"What?" Tara asked, noticing Willow's gaze on her.

"You're sexy when you're expecting," Willow said, waggling an eyebrow for emphasis.

"I'm not normally?" Tara replied, grinning.

"I didn't say that," Willow pointed out. "Nevertheless, let's deliver your baby, shall we?"

"Do the honours," Tara offered, leaning back. She looked down at herself and patted her round stomach. "After all, you put this here."

"I'm so virile," Willow nodded. With one hand beneath Tara's stomach, she put her finger to the blonde's belly button and pushed firmly. There was a moment's resistance, then a click and a beep, and a seam appeared around the bulging stomach, where previously there had been only smooth skin.

"Congratulations, it's an equipment package," Willow said, lifting the false stomach off Tara. "Have you got a name picked out?"

"Atlas," Tara sighed, pulling free the straps concealed under her top, and beneath the waist of her pants. "So I don't forget how heavy that was. The access to the coolant conduit should be behind that wall," she added, pointing.

"Righty-o," Willow nodded, turning the faux stomach over and opening its underside. "What we need is one high-resolution ultrasonic probe, which should be right... here."

Tara put a hand over her mouth to stifle her chuckle as Willow held up an impressively-proportioned dildo, which at the press of a button sprouted a sonar transceiver from the tip.

"Hey, don't laugh," Willow shot back, trying to keep a straight face. "This was in you twenty seconds ago."

"Uh-huh," Tara giggled, "I had a fifteen-inch penis inside of me... That's quite out of character for me."

"I should hope so," Willow nodded, blushing furiously as she held the monster phallus against the wall. Data streamed across the screen built into its base.

"According to Anya's dream machine here," she read off, "the conduit is filled with A7-H coolant... We can't open it up until we've dealt with that, or we'll flood the room."

"A7-H crystallises," Tara said thoughtfully.

"Right," Willow nodded, dropping the dildo and prising a panel off the wall to reveal a metal surface behind it. "So, pop a reactive mix into the conduit, wait for it to crystallise..."

"Use a condensing reagent," Tara suggested. "It'll solidify the liquid down to a fraction of its usual volume, enough to clear out the conduit for us to get in. We can seal it back up from inside and cut out way through to the liquid lower down."

"It's a plan," Willow agreed, selecting from the equipment pack a fluid injector, which unfortunately looked like a novelty fake breast. She placed its nipple against the metal, fired it with a dull clang, and held it for a moment.

"And... hard seal," she nodded. "Okay, give it... forty minutes? Then we can go in. This panel will pop right off with a nudge from a vibratory spanner, no problem."

"No doubt there's plenty of things that vibrate in that pack," Tara said wryly. "So, say five minutes to get our wetsuits on... What shall we do for thirty-five minutes, all alone in here?"

"Don't you hate it when missions have these pauses, with no spy stuff to demand our attention?" Willow smiled.

"It's terribly tedious," Tara agreed, with a matching smile. She looked over her shoulder, then swung her legs onto the chair and leaned back.

"There is always the obvious option," she suggested, giving Willow a sidelong glance.

"What's that?" Willow asked, adorably grinning and frowning in confusion all at once. Tara raised an eyebrow at her, then lifted her legs into the chair's stirrups.

"We're in an examination room," she purred. "And those impressively realistic credentials I saw you showing off earlier do say you're a doctor..." The grin on Willow's face spread from bemused to cat-that-got-the-cream in the space of a heartbeat.

"Okay then," she said, "we'll have to get your pants off, if you don't mind..."

"Not at all," Tara said demurely. She lifted her hips to help Willow tug her pants down.

"Very nice," Willow nodded, gazing at the gauzy lace that didn't quite conceal Tara's sex. "I like your taste in lingerie."

"You'll like my taste out of lingerie too," Tara chuckled.

"Mmm," Willow agreed, slowly drawing the thin lace down Tara's legs and, along with her pants and sneakers, pulling them over her feet and letting them fall to the floor.

"So, how should we begin?" Tara asked, mock-serious.

"Detailed examination first," Willow said. "We'll see how you feel, and then decide what course of action is necessary."

Slowly, with her other hand resting, friendly and reassuring on Tara's shoulder, Willow let her fingers stroke down among the blonde's curls, and finally further down to sample her moist, soft labia.

"Mmm-hmm," she murmured thoughtfully. "Beautiful shape and texture... rather a lot of moisture though, isn't there?"

Tara took a deep breath as Willow's forefinger slid slowly into her, while her thumb continued to softly massage her lips.

"Tell me, does this happen often?" Willow asked.

"Uh-huh," Tara nodded. "Several times a day... at least."

"Indeed," Willow bit her lip in thought. "And do you know what causes it?" She slid her finger into Tara's channel firmly, burying it to the hilt, and began to stroke up and down inside her.

"Ah... yes," Tara nodded again, her chest rising and falling in deeper, more agitated breaths.

"And the cause isn't something you can avoid?" Willow asked.

"No," Tara shook her head. "Never... ooh..."

"I see," Willow mused, increasing her pace, wiggling her finger vigorously in its wet, hot embrace. "Well then..." With a teasing grin she withdrew, leaving Tara gasping.

"Uhhh," she moaned quietly, her hips lifting off the chair, seeking release.

"I prescribe orgasms," Willow said happily. "Whenever the symptoms reappear, as and when necessary."

"You sound... like Anya," Tara grinned, getting herself a little bit under control. "Would you assist in my treatment? Or, do I have to attend to myself?"

"My esteemed colleague Dr. Anya does have some good ideas," Willow offered sagely. Her eyes lit up at a thought, and she knelt down to rummage through the equipment pack.

"What are you up to down there?" Tara wondered.

"Just preparing to assist in your treatment," Willow said. "You could attend to yourself, of course, but it's always better to seek the help of a trained professional, don't you think?"

"I'll definitely do that," Tara smiled. Willow stood back up and reached beneath Tara's neck, stroking the back with her fingertips. In her other hand, she held up a pair of smooth metal balls.

"Oh," Tara nodded, her smile widening. "You want me to take two, and see you in the morning?"

"Why wait 'til morning?" Willow chuckled, lowering her hand between Tara's spread thighs. Tara gave a little twitch when Willow touched the cool metal to her lips, then sighed as the redhead delicately parted her folds and nudged the first sphere into her.

"Don't worry," she promised, "it'll warm up."

"Mmmm," Tara agreed. Willow withdrew her hand from behind Tara's neck and moved to stand between her splayed legs, her free hand stroking Tara's thigh as she nudged the second ball against her sex.

"I'll just perform a routine examination at this point," she explained. "No need for an impersonal probe, of course, when first-hand contact will work much better..." Tara murmured happily as Willow knelt down between her legs and inhaled the silky scent surrounding her core.

"Say 'ah'," she giggled, and leant forward to press her tongue to the bottom of Tara's sex, sneaking the tip inside to taste the source of the slickness coating her lips. Slowly, she drew her tongue flat against Tara's soft, hot labia, and licked up the length of her sex, finishing with a flourish on her clit.

"Ahhhhhhhh," Tara moaned.

"Good girl," Willow whispered approvingly. She placed a kiss on the second ben-wa ball, then used two fingertips to hold Tara's folds apart while she gently inserted it.

"There," she went on. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Mmm, not unless you're finished," Tara murmured.

"Oh there's still a lot of procedures to follow," Willow assured her. "Remember, this is going to be a very thorough examination..."

"Good," Tara sighed happily. "I'm definitely... mmm," she moaned quietly as she shifted her hips and the spheres inside her slid smoothly around, "...definitely... in the mood... to be... thoroughly..." Sighs and moans overtook words, as her hips began moving in a rhythm all their own.

"Who said medicine can't taste good?" Willow smiled to herself, before taking another long lick at Tara's pouting sex just inches from her face. "Let me just slip into something more appropriate." She peeled off her jacket and undid her skirt, standing up to let it fall to the floor. Tara laughed, between deep gasps, at seeing Willow's remaining attire, a tight-fitting white nurse's dress with a zipper running up the front. With a tug Willow undid it far enough to reveal the perfectly formed cleavage within.

"Were you... thinking you might get... lucky with me?" Tara asked, as Willow leaned forward over her, holding her hips and adding to their rhythmic thrusting.

"I picked up the odd sign here and there," Willow admitted.

"I thought it... yeah... was only, patients, who... uhh... wore short dresses for easy access?"

"Why shouldn't doctors have some fun too?" Willow dipped her head down, pulled Tara's top up over her breasts, and licked at the soft mounds straining to escape her bra.

"Are you... yeah, like that... are you a doctor or a nurse now?" Tara wondered.

"I'm all your health care needs, in one convenient package," Willow murmured into her breasts.

"One lovely package," Tara breathed. Willow licked her way thoroughly down Tara's cleavage and onto her stomach, bathing her with long, firm strokes of her tongue. Tara's hands found their way to the back of Willow's head, her fingers winding among her hair.

"You're responding to your current treatment quite well," Willow joked as Tara moaned and arched off the chair. "How about upping the dosage?"

"If you... oh baby... if you think so..."

"Trust me," Willow grinned, slipping out of Tara's embrace, "I'm a doctor." She crouched and searched through the equipment pack for a moment, then returned to Tara's side.

"Ready for the healing hand?" she asked, holding up her hand to show off the thin, smooth sleeves over her index and middle fingers.

"What're those?" Tara asked, slightly breathless.

"I think it'll be more fun if you find out for yourself," Willow smiled deviously. "I should warn you, there will be side-effects."

"Some writhing?"

"Probably."

"Further moisture?"

"Almost certainly."

"Moaning at the top of my voice?"

"Definitely," Willow nodded.

"Thank you for fully informing mmm... me, before my treatment begins," Tara said seriously. She took a long look at Willow's scantily clad form. "I don't suppose you'd have anything that could cover my mouth, would you? It'd be a shame if someone came to investigate any excess moaning and interrupted us."

"It would be a shame," Willow agreed. "Lucky for you, I think I have just the thing." She grinned and lifted her dress, revealing white silk panties, with a large red cross emblazoned on the front.

"A first-aid kit," Tara noted hungrily, "how convenient. You think of everything."

"I never attend to a patient without it," Willow said, reclining the chair back and straddling it, facing back down Tara's slowly moving body as the blonde stared up from between her thighs.

"What should I do?" Tara asked innocently, stroking one hand over Willow's mound, while her other took a firm grip on her hip.

"Just open it up..." Willow murmured huskily, "and eat what's inside. It's good for you," she finished with a wink.

"Doctor's orders?" Tara whispered, pulling Willow closer to her lips.

"Doctor's orders," Willow nodded seriously.

Tara's innocent smile turned predator in a heartbeat, and she wasted no time in wrapping her arms around Willow's thighs and pulling the redhead down onto her mouth. Willow giggled and wriggled her hips as Tara carefully took the fragile fabric of her panties in her teeth and pulled, tearing the crotch open to reveal her sex, already generously soaked. Pausing only to utter a muffled 'love you,' Tara held Willow firmly atop her face and sent her tongue questing deep inside.

"Ohhhh! Mmmm," Willow moaned, clamping a hand over her mouth to muffle her initial outburst. Gaining a little control she removed her hand long enough to touch the sleeves on her fingers, tapping on each a tiny stud at its base, on top of her knuckle. With an almost inaudible whirr her fingers began vibrating. An anticipatory grin spread over Willow's face, and she experimentally touched a fingertip to her nipple, already poking prominently through the thin material of her dress.

"God!" she exclaimed, forcing her voice down to a whisper. "Oh baby, you are going to love this..." Leaning forward, keeping her core grinding against Tara's eager mouth, she rested one hand on the blonde's thigh, and brought the other with its two sleeved fingers near her sopping sex.

Tara jerked the moment Willow's fingers touched her labia, and gave a long, throaty moan into her sex. Willow toyed with her soft inner lips, taking one and then the other between her fingertips, sliding up and down their length, as all the while the finger-sleeves sent frantic vibrations into the blonde's heaving body.

Willow, feeling light-headed from Tara's now-erratic but still vigorous exploration of her core, played her fingertips all around Tara's sex, up and down the insides of her thighs, along her lips, all over her mound, delighting in the desperate, uncontrolled thrusts and shudders she drew from her lover. She forced herself to curtail her teasing, as she felt her own climax straining to gush free from within, and dipped her forefinger between Tara's lips to stroke her entrance, pressing gently against the yielding opening. Between her legs, Tara groaned loudly into her sex.

Willow leant back for a moment, savouring the sight of Tara as she was, totally devoted to their lovemaking. Her face buried between Willow's thighs, eagerly seeking the release which Willow knew she could not hold off much longer; her ample breasts, still encased in her bra, shuddering as she took great gasps of air in between thrusting her tongue as far as she could into Willow's depths, her body writhing, legs trembling, her sex glistening with arousal, her lips pouting open as she pushed against Willow's fingertip on her channel's mouth, trying to enfold it completely. Willow swallowed a moan, and knew it was time.

She lifted herself off Tara's mouth a fraction, not without difficulty as Tara held her thighs firmly. Willow looked down at Tara, between her nectar-soaked thighs, saw her deep blue eyes staring back at her, needful and giving, in a face gleaming with Willow's juices.

"Wanna lose control?" Willow whispered. Tara's eyes widened, then she nodded quickly.

"It's alright, I've got you," Willow promised, lowering her hips again. Tara's tongue was already outstretched, so that Willow felt her slide within as she settled once more on her lover, and leaned forward to lie on top of her, resting her open lips around Tara's clit, not yet licking or sucking, simply enclosing her. She withdrew the single finger tantalising Tara's entrance, and curled it and her middle finger into her palm, feeling their vibrations run through her hand. She pointed her ring and little fingers instead and, without warning, thrust them into Tara to the hilt.

Tara's body accepted the intrusion without reserve, thrusting back to meet Willow the moment she felt her fingertips enter. Willow fucked Tara vigorously, thrusting her fingers into her again and again, jostling the spheres nestled inside her, ignoring the ache in her wrist. Her whole being focused, shutting out everything but a circular path of sensation that ran through herself and Tara, joining them at Tara's tongue inside her, and her fingers inside Tara. Willow's body sank into the sensation, guzzling pleasure like an animal, while her mind floated, slightly detached from events, wrapped tight in the idea of herself and Tara uniting, their souls flowing through both their bodies, forgetting which was which.

The first shudder of climax brought her mind back to the task before her, and she breathed in a lungful of Tara-scented air, thrusting one last time, deep, curling her fingertips to press against Tara's g-spot, breaking the wall of self-restraint that was holding Tara's climax barely in check. She felt Tara spasm beneath her, muscles clenching, her body heaving up off the chair, lifting on her legs and shoulders, carrying Willow stop her. Her sex pulsed, engorged with feeling, drew taut in preparation for the next heartbeat's release - and then, Willow withdrew, straightened instead her two vibrating fingers, and thrust them firmly into Tara's core, thudding into her target, the vulnerable, sensitive spot within her, with surgical precision.

Tara lost control, utterly. Willow knew, not by experience but simply by instinct, what her lover was feeling - trapped in her own body, unable to command it, a prisoner in a cage of gilded flesh that was being tossed on a stormy sea, exploding in climax. Tara was lost, without anything to guide her save her trust in Willow. Her fingers clawed into Willow's hips, scratching her, and Willow came into a mouth helplessly open, around a tongue moving randomly inside her, and Tara felt herself swallowing her lover's nectar without trying to. Her own sex was almost painful, almost more than her body could feel - it was as if her heart had opened up and was pumping her life out of her, but it was clear, sweet juice that Willow's lips tasted as she spread her mouth wide, touching the base of her fingers as she enclosed Tara's sex and tongued her clit for all she was worth.

It seemed endless for Tara - not multiple orgasms, but one, stretching on infinitely, pumping narcotic pleasure through her veins as long as Willow held her fingers inside her. Points of reference slipped away from the blonde as her body continued to surge, leaving her defenceless and disoriented - it should have been terrifying, but the trust she had in Willow made it exhilarating instead. In the moment before she lost all comprehension, she felt what Willow had imagined - both their climaxes circling through them, the juice flooding into Willow's mouth, passing through her body, flowing from her sex back into Tara's eager mouth, and in turn through her.

Still trembling with the aftershocks of her own orgasm, Willow slowly withdrew her fingers from Tara, snagging the balls' cord and pulling them free at the same time. She tenderly lapped at Tara's weary folds, as her body continued to shake and yield sweetness. Willow used her tongue lightly, with infinite care and grace, soothing the blissfully tortured softness before her until Tara relaxed, her body settling limply onto the chair. Finding the strength to move she lifted her hips, feeling Tara's hands clutch feebly, then slip and fall away, and turned herself around, facing the spent blonde. Tara's eyes were closed, and her mouth hung open, coated inside and out with Willow's juices.

"Hey," the redhead whispered, stroking a stray hair from Tara's sweat-covered brow. She stirred, and her eyes flickered open.

"H-hey," Tara murmured, her voice trembling. "A-am I... still coming?" Willow chuckled softly.

"It's over now," she promised. Tara nodded weakly.

"I couldn't tell... for a moment there..." she whispered.

"Are you okay?" Willow asked, wondering if she might have pushed Tara too far.

"There aren't words for how okay I am," Tara smiled. "I feel like..." she trailed off, searching. "Like you and me, us, got mixed... We turned liquid and poured together and flowed into each other, and... and now we're full of each other."

"You too?" Willow asked. Tara nodded.

"Um, so," Willow continued, looking sheepish, "you're not too worn out, are you? For the mission, I mean? I didn't mean to get quite that intense-" Tara put a hand to her lips, silencing her, and glanced at her watch.

"We've still got ten minutes before wetsuit-time," she said. "In five minutes, you'll be in this chair, naked, I'll be between your legs drinking more Willow-juice than you ever believed your body could produce, and I'm not going to stop until the very instant we have to get ready." She raised an eyebrow at Willow's shocked, eager smile. "If that's okay with you?"

"There aren't words," Willow grinned broadly, "for how okay that is with me."

[hr]

Millau, Massif Central, France
Underground Lair, Coolant Conduit
0100 Hours (local time)


Agents Shy Bunny and Adorabunny, safely enclosed in sealed wetsuits and helmets, swam steadily down through the blue-tinged coolant. Tara, in the lead, was busily taking ultrasonic readings of the conduit walls every few metres, while Willow, swimming behind her, was mainly concerned with how good Tara's ass looked in her silver wetsuit.

"Got something," Tara said, her voice being relayed through the helmet's point-to-point radio to Willow. "I think there's an airlock - well, fluid lock I suppose, behind this panel, we should be able to get out."

"Need a spanner?" Willow offered, reaching for her equipment belt. There was a muffled clang.

"No, I've got it," Tara replied, pulling the side of the conduit open. There was momentary rush of liquid as the empty lock beyond filled with coolant, then everything was still again.

"There's room for us both," Tara said, sliding her legs into the fluid lock chamber and reaching up to help Willow manoeuvre in the confined space of the conduit.

"It's just as well we like cuddling," Willow quipped, as she slid in beside Tara and pulled the hatch closed above herself. "Otherwise we'd have to get through this one at a time, and that'd be inefficient, you know?"

"Cuddling is very efficient," Tara agreed seriously. Willow saw the humour dancing in her eyes, through the transparent faceplace of her helmet.

They held onto each other as the fluid lock cycled, opening vents above them to admit a rush of icy-cold water, while the coolant seeped out from more vents below. In the space of a minute the vents closed, and they were immersed only in water. A funnel opened in the side walls of the lock chamber and drained the water.

"The alarm on this is just a hardware job," Willow said, reaching awkwardly down between her and Tara's feet to clamp a hotwire pack to the outer door. She fiddled with its controls for a moment, adjusting it to the alarm system it was tapping into. "No... problem... at... all!"

The door swung silently open, allowing Willow to crawl feet-first into the room beyond. Tara followed her, and they removed their helmets and drew tranquilliser pistols.

"Now we find Osbourne," Tara said, with quiet determination. She started forward, but then a blaze of crimson light filled the room, and Willow lunged to catch her and keep her from stumbling in surprise. Tara stared down at a thin, deadly laser beam that had appeared directly in front of her.

The two agents looked around carefully, finding their way blocked by dozens of beams - a cage. As one they looked up when a speaker crackled to life.

"Don't bother," Cordelia's voice echoed around the room. "I'll be happy to bring you to him."

[hr]

To read is human, to leave feedback, divine.
Chris Cook
Through the Looking-glass - Every world needs a Willow and Tara.
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Artemis
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby watty » Mon Oct 17, 2005 9:23 am

To read is human, to leave feedback, divine.

To dibs is sacred privilege granted to the favored few.

Thanks Car. Et Taskmaster Chris, naturellement.

[hr]

ETA: Oh man, have I missed me some smut bunnies! And before you glare at me and say "you know very well what I've been working on", I just want to say that I didn't mean it in a pushy or groupie way (though I'll gladly admit to being a SB-groupie), it's just that this fic is so fabulouso that I want constant updates, even though I know that's asking too much and boy was that a run-on sentence or what. :P

I'm glad M wisely decided to keep the bunnies together, cos, splitting them up will have dire consequences! Dire, dire! arrrr!

:lmao at the doctor-patient examination and hospital theme,
"So we'll be swimming through a very long, narrow tunnel filled with poisonous liquid?" Willow summed up.

Why does that sound like getting born? With Tara impersonating a pregnant lady, and the, um, stirrups and the examination. :hmm Okay, moving right along, I'm :thud :bow at how much hotness they could generate in only 35 minutes. Yes, thank you Dr Anya for the vibrating finger sleeves, these gadgets and amazing!

"Wanna lose control?" Willow whispered.

You build atmosphere and put so much meaning into just 3 words. There they are, in the middle of a dangerous mission, and they find time to connect, to lose themselves, and to give themselves to fully to someone they trust. It's like they
turned liquid and poured together and flowed into each other, and... and now we're full of each other

:drool

But then, we have the cliffhanger. Our agents trapped in a cage, with the baddies all around them. It's just like all the best spy thrillers!

[br][hr]
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby Reallybigpineapple » Mon Oct 17, 2005 11:49 am

:bounce
That was extremely hot, General! :bow
I will never, ever be able to use latex gloves again without wishing for them to vibrate... And wonder why they won't cast Amber and Alyson on E.R...
As ever, this is both the hottest and funniest fic around... How excellent of you to bring the gift of such a juicy update to the world! And darn, are they in a tigh spot! No pun intended :-D
Salutes, exits
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby justin » Mon Oct 17, 2005 1:43 pm

Hi, long time reader, first time feedbacker :blush

This is a really good story. I spend most of the time I'm reading it alternating between :lmao and :thud

Harmony makes a great incompetent side kick, as Buffy said in the real me, when she tries to be bad she just stinks.

I liked the idea of their death trap having a platypuss in it (what, were they all out of sloths?)

Though this story could well make a Hordelia (or maybe that should be Carmony?) shipper out of me, which is a bit worrying

Willow & Tara make great secret agents (Well they make great anythings really :) )

Looking forward to the next action packed (in all senses of the word) update
02/28/2007
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby Trom DeGrey » Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:54 pm

Who needs a medical team when you've got a nurse like Adorabunny??? How the hell do I get on that insurance plan???

:thud
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby Darth Pacula » Wed Oct 19, 2005 12:53 am

G'day, Chris.

Well, all I can say is thank whatever deity you care to for Smut Bunnies!

....

Okay, so I can say more. Who'd have thunk it? If you want to watch Kim Possible on free to air TV in Australia, it's on Saturday Disney at the moment, some time around 7:30 onwards on Channel 7 on Saturday at the moment. Well, it is up here anyway.

Now, how about I say something about the actual update, hmm? It's a radical concept I know, but I'm willing to risk it.

Okay, first thing. I know 'Mr McDonald' is Lindsay, he of the taser to the genitals claim to fame, but every time they call him that, I keep seeing Ronald McDonald, so I was laughing for no apparent reason while I was reading this. As opposed to when I was laughing because the story's so funny that is.

Nice touch using all the different monuments to hide elements of Daniel's sinister plot. It seems a very Bond-ish thing to do.

I loved all of the pregnancy banter they indulged in, especially this little gem.

"Congratulations, it's an equipment package," Willow said, lifting the false stomach off Tara. "Have you got a name picked out?"


Anya strikes again, huh? Though I suppose that ultrasonic probe would also make a handy cudgel. If you've ever seen Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, you'll know what I mean.

As for the requisite smut, do I need to say it? :thud That pretty much says it all. Though, that is one hell of list of potential side-effects. Too bad more medicine doesn't cause that.

But Chris, what a place to stop! With our delightful, and apparently delicious, heroines trapped in a laser cage at the mercy of the traitorous Queen Bunny, Daniel Osbourne, and ... Harmony? I just hope we don't have to wait as long this time. But if we do, rest assured I'll still be lurking here. Possibly because my legs are still shaky. :-D

ETA: Hey, I left feedback, so does that mean I'm divine now? Am I a deity? If so, excuse me, I'm gonna go indulge in some smiting. :devil

'Till next time,
Paul.
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby taralicious » Wed Oct 19, 2005 11:29 pm

Agent Brer Rabbit here to say that I need to have a chat with Human Resources as to how to get on a health plan like Agent Shy Bunny has.
With Agent Adorabunny catering to all of her health care needs in an especially hands-on manner, Shy Bunny has to be the fittest agent of them all and no wonder that M deemed her the choice to go up against Queen Bunny.
It looks like she'll get that chance as the two Bunnies have wandered into a laser cage.
"Do you expect us to talk, Queen Bunny?"
"No Shy Bunny, I expect you to die!"
Efficiency, efficacy, and the applied use of technology on the vibrating edge set this health plan above all others currently available in any marketplace.
That's 35 minutes of taking samples from Shy Bunny's gash and lovingly dressing it with her tongue.
Then the doctor got her needs tended to by the patient.
Now that is what I call an HMO.
Good Heavens, can it be true?
Whomever will save our Bunnies Now?
The dental plan offers Oral B Brush Ups-fabric sleeves for you to clean your teeth with your fingers but Willow"s health plan offers Bush Ups to clean those hard to reach gum lines.
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby Emms » Thu Oct 20, 2005 6:13 am

Agent Yarn Bunny comes running in; she's out of breath and her hair is disheveled. "I'm so sorry I'm late....see there was this criminal...and I though she could use a..." Agent Yarn Bunny pauses, not intending to go any further with the explanation, but seeing the look on everyone’s face she feels pressure to continue. "It's not my fault. Really, it isn't. She was very naughty...I felt it my duty to put her back on the ..." Agent Yarn Bunny coughs "...straight and narrow" Agent Yarn Bunny blushes and takes her seat for the debriefing.

Sorry I'm late with the feedbacky goodness....I'll be back later today with some yummy tid-bits. Forgive me? :flirt

ETA: Okay, I'm back and ready to leave those tid-bits I mentioned earlier. I think you might remember them....they're errr....bacon flavored. (that made no sense....sorry. )

I can't say enough, how much I missed this yummy story (well.....probably...I mean I could go on and on...but you'd probably get tired of reading compliment after compliment. Am I right? :-D ) I started the update this afternoon with the half-thought that I'd probably have to go back and read the last update, just so I'd be in the proper mood for the high-tech antics I knew were to come, but I was pleasantly surprised to discover no such necessity. (well....not pleasantly in the worst sense of the word. I would have muchly enjoyed going back and re-reading the previous chapter...cause let's face it. They're all HOT!) Reading your writing is like instant gratification....there's no need for a warm-up....it's chocolate taken intravenously (for the fullest, quickest effect.) :lol

I absolutely loved the beginning when our girls were briefed on their mission. It was so.....spyarific (not a word, I know.) And I've said this before...but it never hurts to say it again...it was sooo.....Bond. James Bond.

But my absolute favorite aspect of this update (besides the smut) was Willow in her doctor disguise and the banter back and forth between she and Tara.

And then there was the smut. Sweet, sweet smut....* dreamily* I've never read someone who could get to the deep, down, nitty-gritty of a sex scene while at the same time still keeping all the romance of two people in love quite the way you do it. *sigh* Also, I don't think I've ever been so riveted by role-play smut. :lol Me likes doctor Willow. :-D

and thanks to Anya's weird obsession with dildos and boobies we got to see some pretty cool technical stuff too.... :glasses

Wooo Hooo for Smut Bunnies!!
Wooo Hooo for Chris!
Wooo Hooo for those marshmallowy Easter peeps....
And Wooo Hooo for velcro and string cheese! (okay....I think I'm getting a little carried away here.)

Great stuff!

xoxo
Emms
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby AntigoneUnbound » Thu Oct 20, 2005 7:32 am

Hey Chris--I finally ventured through the Smut Bunnies door and oh, the lessons I've learned! I've only read the first two installments thus far but wanted to let you know how much I'm enjoying it. Your combination of technical know-how and humor makes for a wondeful read. And truly--was anyone ever better suited for her job than Anya? My oh my...

I know you've received loads o' great fb here, so I'll just chip in my 2 cents' worth to say how much I like it and how much I'm looking forward to reading more.

Thanks for the great story,
Mary
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby RKT » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:37 pm

LOL this is so much fun! You know, I really want action figures! Can't wait for more!
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby SithLordWiccan » Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:39 am

Hi, Chris. Long time reader of this fic (and your other fics), first time reviewer (not really anymore, since you read the e-mail I sent last week). Of course, I didn't think I would be signing up for the Kitten Board later on...

Anyways, as someone who has read his fair share of Willow/Tara NC-17 fan fic, I have to say that this ranks just slightly behind "Please: The Series" as the best I've read anywhere. This is one of the very few fics (and when I say that, I mean fics in general) that I find myself reading on a regular basis.

Keep up the good work.
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby wimpy0729 » Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:38 am

Oh my Chris. You've done it again. Sent my mind whirling and body tingling. Pure genius, with the...and the... Sorry, my brain is still dizzy. So what now? Cordelia seems to have them in a very compromised position. I can't wait to see what happens next.

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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby ringwaldoeuvre » Sun Oct 30, 2005 3:19 pm

Chris, I don't think I've left you feedback in quite a while, and it is a damn shame. This story has progressed nicely, and not just because I never thought I would have thought I'd be reading a hot James Bond-esque tale. It is very imaginative, yet pays homage to so many excellent action/adventure films/tv shows that came before.

That said, your mastery of action and character development is remarkable. The plot moves along at a great pace, while still including the small details that give the action real emotional meaning. Well done, and looking forward to more.

~Mary
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My sister: Well the real question is, why does he bother working out when no one will ever love him?
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby the hero factor » Sun Oct 30, 2005 5:30 pm

Oh, Smut Bunnies, how I've missed you.

Great update, Chris!

Well, that was some of the smuttiest smut that ever smutted a smut. Sooo good and yummy.

And the end. Ack! How are they ever gonna get out of this?

Can't wait for more.
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby Artemis » Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:44 am

Well, here I am again. I hope you all had fun reading Gold in the Elemental series (and of course, tomorrow there'll be an all-new fic, 'Earth' by watson aka Agent Hidden Bunny) - now, time for more spy stuff.

Agent Hidden Bunny: Thanks :) I'm sure there's some ingenious spy use for those vibrating finger thingies, and one of these days, someone might actually use them for that :eyebrow I like having Willow and Tara take moments to be together - aside from the good ole' smut-in-every-chapter promise, what's the point of doing all the epic stuff if you don't take time to smell the roses now and then? :D I had a blast with the doctor/patient stuff (another scenario they can cross off their to-do list for this mission).

Agent Pineapple Bunny: Thanks. Well, I think we all have to admit - who hasn't seen those stirrup chairs and had a naughty thought now and then?

Justin: First-time feedbacker - a S.M.U.T. virgin! :D Thanks - it's true, Harmony sucks at being bad. But I'm told she's good at sucking, among other things :eyebrow There's no doubt a bit of marriage-of-convenience going on with her and Cordy (though it must be said, Mercedes McNab is not plain :blush ).

Codename Hands: The Ministry has excellent health care - it's all about the bedside manner.

Darth Pacula: Damn, you're right! Darned TV guides just say 'Saturday Disney' half the time, I gave up taping a 3 hour show when it looked like they'd dropped Kim Possible from the line-up (replaced by all sorts of godawful rubbish). Thanks for the heads-up, I got my fix of sacrastic Shego goodness last weekend :D Yes, our beloved agents are at the mercy of Oz, Cordy and Harmony... well, two out of three, as they say. There's a sneaky reason for the monument subplot, which will be revealed all in good time...

Agent Brer Rabbit: Thanks :) I have it on good authority that all of Tara's health needs are being seen to, repeatedly - she even got a second opinion, which was the same as the first, "Yummy!" (not surprising, as both opinions came from Willow).

Agent Yarn Bunny: Lateness forgiven, putting criminals back on the straight and narrow takes priority (you sure your suspect is straight now? That's not what I heard...) I think spyarific is a word, definitely - like another one I officially made up, espionagasm :lol It is really fun to do role-play smut - moreover, to have the poetic license to just do it, without much need to justify it :blush

AntigoneUnbound: Thanks, I hope you're continuing to enjoy your journey through Smut Bunny land :)

RKT: Thanks :) Action figures, you say? Not a bad idea, the Ministry should definitely authorise some - in the meantime, there's always extra stock of the Amazing Kitten Race figures, from when the Lovebirds dressed up as our favourite agents.

Agent Sith Bunny: Thanks :) Being ranked anywhere near Please is an honour - especially when the ranking is based on the smutty goodness involved.

Agent Wimpy Bunny: Heh, thanks :D

ringwaldoeuvre: Thanks. I love the Bond films (even the bad ones), so it's endless fun to play with all their conventions, and those of the wider superspy thriller genre.

the_hero_factor: Thanks, glad you liked the smut :) How will they escape? Luckily they're experts at negotiating tight situations :blush
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Smut Bunnies! (chapter 13)

Postby Artemis » Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:46 am

Title: Smut Bunnies
Author: Chris Cook
Rating: NC-17, naturally
Summary: Secret agents. Supervillains. Adventure. Excitement. Smut. Lots of smut. And saving the world, too.
Spoilers: None.
Copyright: Based on characters from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, created by Joss Whedon and his talented minionators, and all manner of things including the James Bond series by Ian Fleming/Eon Productions, and The Avengers by Brian Clemens. All original material (I'm sure there's some in there somewhere) is copyright 2005 Chris Cook.
Feedback: Please. Here, or to alia@netspace.net.au

[hr]

SMUT BUNNIES!

Chapter Thirteen: Never Say 'Goodbye Mr. Bond'




Evil Lair
Millau, France
0130 Hours


"This... isn't so good," Willow said thoughtfully, dangling from a pair of electromagnetic restraints over the evil animal pit.

"It's actually quite good for your back," Tara noted, dangling alongside Willow. "I heard Codename Hands recommended one good suspension-over-death-pit every three months when he revised the Ministry's physiotherapy schedule."

"Quiet you two!" Harmony said, in what was probably meant to be a bark but came out more as a yap.

"Or what?" Willow shot back. "You'll string us up over a different death pit?" Harmony opened her mouth to reply, the paused in confusion.

"Don't get smart," Cordelia said, in a bored tone, from where she was reclining on the conference table adding minute highlights to her nail polish. "You know it's not fair on her."

"Hey!" Harmony rounded on her. "I designed this whole place singlehandedly, let me remind you!"

"And if I hadn't installed some extra laser traps," Cordelia calmly replied, "Cathy Gale and Emma Peel here would've probably reduced it to rubble by now."

"Well they haven't," Harmony said smugly, as the logical flaw in her argument eluded her. "They're up there waiting to be dropped into the platypus pit, so there!"

"Excuse me," Tara interrupted. "The what pit?"

"Platypussies are a valid evil animal!" Harmony insisted.

"Platypi," Cordelia added. "And no, they're not."

"Platypodes," Willow suggested. "Isn't it?"

"Whatever!" Harmony shouted. "Okay, you know what? You!" She pointed to one of the body armoured minions lining the control room. "Go get me a dictionary!"

"The minions aren't a valet service, Harm," Cordelia said disapprovingly.

"Girls," Daniel interrupted, appearing on the encircling balcony, "let's not fight..." His face hardened as he glanced at the two captive agents. "Cordelia, why didn't you tell me Willow was one of the intruders?"

"Who'd you think they'd be?" Cordelia shrugged. Daniel glared at her, then slowly made his way around the balcony ramp.

"Willow, I'm sorry you're here," he said stoically. "Believe it or not, I'd really rather you stayed out of harm's way. Still, que sera, sera."

"Do we know a Sarah?" Harmony asked, earning a light swat on the back of the head from Cordelia. "Ow! Hey!"

"Focus," the former agent said, taking a seat. "Look villainous, and let Daniel do the evil speechifying."

"Thank you," Daniel nodded, turning back to Willow and Tara as he reached the main floor. "You'll find this interesting, I'm sure." He gave a smirk, then drew a remote control from his pocket and aimed it at the conference table. The table split in two, narrowly missing Harmony as its two halves tilted over and slid into the floor. In its place was a wide shaft, from which emerged a sleek computer, all brushed chrome and gunmetal-grey accents, with banks of status lights glittering along its sides. Two spindly antennae folded out of its top as it rose to its full height, creating an intricate web of electrical discharges between them.

"What's that?" Tara asked Willow quietly. "Apart from 'War Games' mark two, I mean."

"This is PRUDE," Daniel replied, overhearing her. "Panacea Reactive Universal Defence Environment. Seeing as you're going to die shortly, you might as well know." Behind him, Cordelia heaved an exasperated sigh.

"The Frankenstein's laboratory thing is a plasma matrix," Willow explained quickly. "It's a kind of hyper-storage - that's what, ten, fifteen trillion gigabytes?"

"Closer to twenty," Daniel said smugly. "Panacea is a massive program - a plasma matrix is the only portable containment system for the decompressed, uncompiled raw code. We've had it running self-defence scenarios for months in hyper-mainframes like this, developing responses to every possible attack." He pressed another button on the remote, and the lightning-generating rods slid against each other and folded along their length twice, becoming a single piece of hardware scarcely larger than a mobile phone. Daniel reached up and disconnected it from the huge support computer.

"And now it's ready," he said. "This one device contains the final, active Panacea program. Ready to transmit. From the point of transmission it'll spread like a virus - but then, it gets interesting. The system kernels, spread over a billion separate infected CPUs, will create and maintain links with each other, becoming a single, vast neural network. A learning intelligence, with all the world's computing power at its disposal. Your Ministry - the whole world - has no way at all of eliminating such a network."

"That's..." Willow began, stunned. "I mean, the power, the capabilities of a program like that..." Her amazed face hardened into a frown. "How could you create something like this, and then use it for evil?"

"Your concept of evil differs from mine," Daniel said calmly.

"Uh, hello?" Harmony interrupted. "He didn't program it."

"Harmony, not now," Daniel said warningly.

"Who did?" Tara asked quickly, giving Harmony her full attention.

"Me," she said proudly. Willow had a coughing fit, while Daniel looked embarrassed and annoyed at once, and Cordelia watched with amusement.

"What are you?" Willow asked, once she had recovered. "Some kind of idiot savant?"

"Hey!" Harmony protested. "I'm not an idiot... or a savant, whatever that is!"

"She really created the program?" Willow asked Daniel, incredulous. He glared at Harmony, then gave a sheepish nod.

Willow and Tara looked at each other, then, as one, burst out laughing.

"I don't see what's so amusing," Daniel said calmly, waiting for them to stop.

"Your master plan relies on Harmony!" Willow managed to giggle between bouts of outright uncontrolled laughter.

"She's got you there," Cordelia added helpfully, earning another glare from Daniel.

"Dammit!" Harmony protested, grabbing the assault rifle leaning on the back of Cordelia's chair and waving it at the two agents. "Shut up or I'll fill you full of lead!"

"Harmony!" Daniel warned. "We've got a perfectly good automated execution method for them."

"Plus the safety's on," Cordelia pointed out. "And that's a tank buster, so it'd be depleted uranium, not lead."

"Ah!" Harmony shrieked, tossing the gun away. "You want me to catch Gulf Air syndrome?"

"Gulf War," Cordelia grumbled as she retrieved her rifle. "And this is way more advanced, it's safe. Not for whoever's in the tank you shoot at, of course, but-"

"Well just keep it away from me," Harmony interrupted. "I'm not comfortable with weapons that violate major arms treaties."

"Exactly what kind of supervillain is it you want to be, again?" Cordelia asked.

"I'm just saying!" Harmony glared. "You've probably got anti-personnel landmines around here somewhere..."

"Uh, yeah!" Cordelia nodded. "This is a lair, remember? It's full of them!"

"Well it shouldn't be," Harmony said, with finality.

"You designed the place!" Cordelia shouted, her patience giving way.

"They're anti-tank landmines," Harmony replied serenely. "That's different."

"Gimme that," Cordelia snapped, grabbing a book from the hands of a returning minion. "See that access shaft over there?" She tossed the book down it, ducking as it exploded on landing.

"So?" Harmony wondered, as Daniel stared aghast at the mess.

"Did you really think a tank would've come down that shaft?" Cordelia went on. "It's one foot wide, Harmony!"

"Well duh, I had the mines retuned so they'd go off if a person stepped on them, but they're still anti-tank mines - and, that was my dictionary! How are we supposed to look up platypussies now? You!" she pointed at another minion. "Go get me another dictionary."

"You do and your family will be getting a 'we-regret-to-inform-you' letter from the Minions' Union," Cordelia warned, aiming her anti-tank rifle at him.

"Dictionary!" Harmony demanded. Cordelia responded by firing a shot over the minion's shoulder, decimating a programming suite behind him.

"Would you two please stop destroying my lair!" Daniel finally shouted, losing his cool at last.

"Do you want me to get him boasting about the program again?" Tara whispered to Willow, while no-one was paying attention to them. She shook her head in reply.

"I don't think he'll tell us anything else useful," she muttered. "What about Cordelia?"

"Not now," Tara replied quietly. "She's auto-bickering - she used to do it with Anya all the time. She won't be responsive - if she ever will be - until she's alone."

"What do you think?" Willow asked. "Try to get her to hang back when Daniel and Harmony leave?"

"Might be our best shot," Tara nodded. Daniel coughed to get their attention, with Cordelia and Harmony momentarily quelled by his uncharacteristic outburst.

"I'm afraid we'll have to leave you two here," he said, his composure back in place. "I'd say enjoy your stay, but... that's unlikely. Willow, I'm sorry you got mixed up in all this. Actually, our 'difficulties' all those years ago were the inspiration behind my scheme. It's a pity you won't be around to benefit from it."

"Daniel, you're so right," Willow nodded. "Except for one crucial aspect, which is the... Tara, what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Crap," Tara suggested. "As in, full of."

"Thanks," Willow gave her a quick smile, before returning her attention to Daniel. "See, she understands me. You, on the other hand, you know what your whole problem was?"

"My personal life isn't a matter for discussion," Daniel said levelly.

"And yet, here's me discussing it," Willow retorted brightly. "I appreciate how hands-off and patient you were in the beginning, really. Very much not the typical adolescent male."

"I respected you," Daniel said quietly.

"I know," Willow agreed. "But you didn't respect who I became. You wanted me to stay the shy, insecure, introverted girl forever, and no-one stays the same forever."

"I liked the way you were," Daniel insisted. "What happened to you?"

"I grew up, Daniel," Willow said patiently. "I grew up, and I started thinking, well, maybe some of the things I was always too nervous to try, maybe I should give them a go, now that I'm old enough to know what I'm doing. I found out wild doesn't have to equal spaz."

"'Grew up,'" Daniel sneered. "Is that what you call it?"

"What do you call it?" Willow shot back. "You were so proud of yourself for being the patient, no-pressure boyfriend that you never wanted it to stop. So even when you wanted to explore, you couldn't - not with me, not with sweet, innocent Willow, even though I wanted to! No, you got yourself all tangled up in denial, and ended up doing the nasty with some convenient floozy while my back was turned. And now, what's all this? You decided it's not your fault, it's everyone else? It's sexy movies and TV and video games that forced you to cheat on me?"

"They're not natural!" Daniel raised his voice, slightly. "They should be controlled, so they don't interfere with people's lives-"

"Oh, won't somebody please think of the children!" Willow mocked. "What, did somebody hold a gun to your head and make you buy those magazines you hid under the bed? You actually wanted to buy a Disney movie, but some unscrupulous sales assistant swapped it for the DVD you hid in the blank case behind the TV? Incidentally, her breasts were so fake."

"You've obviously become too enamoured of all this... filth, to understand." Daniel shook his head. "I'm going to make the world better."

"Try making yourself better," Willow glared, "before you start making everyone else's choices for them."

"This is pointless," Daniel said, turning away. "There is one choice I'm certainly able to make for you - whether or not you ever leave here."

"Is this the pre-execution speech?" Harmony piped up. "Ooh, can I do it? Please?" Cordelia crossed to Daniel and stood beside him.

"Let her," she whispered. "It'll keep her out of the way while we get ready to go."

"I'm going to regret this," Daniel muttered. "Alright... Harmony, five minutes."

"Glee!" Harmony said to herself, clapping her hands. She took off her long coat, strode in front of the two restrained agents, and took a deep breath, hands on hips, to begin.

"I suppose-" she managed, before Willow and Tara both burst out laughing. "What?"

"What on earth are you wearing?" Tara asked.

"Villain-wear!" Harmony shouted.

"It's barely underwear," Willow chuckled.

"Did you forget to put something on?" Tara added. Harmony opened her mouth to reply, paused, looked down to check her attire, then glared at both of them.

"I suppose-"

"Villain-wear really shouldn't have lace trim," Tara suggested.

"I'm trying to explain your imminent doom here," Harmony pointed out.

"I don't want to sound judgemental, Harm," Willow said, "but what you've got there really doesn't say 'villain' so much as 'free ride'."

"Oh like a skin-tight wetsuit is so much better," Harmony scoffed.

"At least we've got a reason for wearing these," Tara countered evenly.

"Which isn't 'advertising our availability to any nearby sporting teams'," Willow added snidely.

"I suppose," Harmony began again, loudly, glaring at Willow, "you're wondering what fiendish means of execution will be responsible for..." she searched for a word, "...executing, you two."

"Platypus pit?" Tara guessed.

"Oh, don't misunderestimate the common platypus," Harmony laughed villainously, or near enough. She had to pause a moment, to adjust her outfit in order to keep her left boob from making an impromptu appearance, then continued:

"You're about to meet the newest member of our villainous team," she gloated. "Platypussy Galore. I'm afraid your pleas for mercy will fall on deaf ears... whatever platypussies have for ears... what?"

"What did you name it?" Willow asked, while Tara had hysterics.

"She's my evil pet, I get to choose her name!" Harmony shouted. "And if you don't like it, I'll... well you're about to die anyway, so shut up!"

"Sorry," Tara gasped, reining in her laughter. "I'm okay... continue."

"Right," Harmony nodded. "In just five minutes, you... wait, are you mocking me?"

"Harm, I've known you since college," Willow said. "Would I ever mock you?"

"I... well, you... if... Cordy!?" Harmony wailed.

"Yes, they're mocking you," Cordelia said without looking up from her laptop. "Huh, 'platypuses'... what do you know."

"In just a few minutes," Harmony rounded on Willow and Tara, "the pit beneath you will open, and you'll be lowered in to your waists. At the same time, a tunnel will open allowing Platypussy Galore into the pit with you."

"And..." Tara prompted.

"And what?" Harmony asked.

"Us, platypus... what then?" Willow asked.

"Then you die!" Harmony insisted.

"I see step one and step three," Willow said critically. "Step two seems to be missing."

"The platypus!" Harmony shouted. "Poison spines! Possibly-lethal venom!"

"Didn't you say it was female?" Tara asked.

"Damn it!" Harmony exclaimed, turning and flouncing away in disgust.

"Oh pipe down Harm," Cordelia offered. "I told you before, it wasn't going to kill them just because they didn't know it couldn't."

"Harmony, are you done?" Daniel asked grimly.

"Yeah," the blonde grumbled. "They don't appreciate a good execution speech anyway!"

"Fine, help Adam load the Minions into the trucks." Harmony nodded and left.

"Go, I'll take care of it," Cordelia offered. Daniel gave her a stern glare, then followed Harmony, while Cordelia got to her feet and gave Willow and Tara a glance.

"Those cuffs are electromagnetic," she said idly. "There's no way you can force them open, and the controls are locked off. Don't let Harm's performance fool you - you're not going anywhere."

"Why are you doing this, Cordy?" Tara asked quietly.

"Me villain, you heroes," she said with a shrug. "Me trying to dispose of you is a pretty logical follow-through from that, don't you think?"

"You know what I meant," Tara said accusingly. "Osbourne and his anti-smut scheme... damn it Cordy, you love smut! You practically wrote the book on exhibitionistic espionage, there wasn't a single one of Anya's toys you didn't at least take for a test run... after we saved Mardi Gras from Glorificus and her mad monks, I had to physically drag you out that nightclub after the fifth day of celebrations - and you'd lost your clothes on the second."

"Your point?" Cordelia asked archly.

"How can you do this?" Tara pleaded. "How can you side with Osbourne, against everything you love?" Cordelia nodded, then leaned close to Tara.

"You're right, it's not about him, or his crusade," she whispered. "It's about one thing: I'm better than you." She glared for a moment, then shot a glance at Willow.

"All of you," she said. "I'm the best." Collecting her laptop and rifle, she headed for the main door, turning back on the threshold.

"Oh, and just in case Harmony's precious pet somehow fails to do the job," she added airily, "I'll be setting the self-destruct when I leave. So you girls have about... fourteen minutes before this complex and everything in it flash-heats to about twelve hundred degrees." She blew a kiss at Willow and Tara.

"Goodbye, Agents," she said, and left.

"Well... that's worrying," Willow mused.

"I don't get it," Tara frowned. "She was never one of those agents who has to be better than everyone else. I mean, she was better than everyone else - since M got promoted out of field duty, anyway - but she never made an issue of it."

"She's making an issue of it now," Willow said sadly.

"Poor Cordy," Tara muttered. "I don't know... Something's twisting her up, but I just don't know what, or why..." She looked up at the magnetic restraints encasing her wrists.

"What's your plan?" Willow asked.
Chris Cook
Through the Looking-glass - Every world needs a Willow and Tara.
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Artemis
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby Artemis » Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:48 am

"I've got a magnetic pulse generator in my suit, around belt-buckle level," Tara said thoughtfully. "If I can flip up between these cuffs and do the proper sequence of moves, I might be able to demagnetise them. Then find the controls, unlock them - I'll probably need you to talk me through that - get you down, and find a way to break out of here before the whole place becomes one big oven." She gave Willow a glance. "You?"

"I've got the remote control for the car," Willow offered. "I could just have it blast its way in here, then one good zap from the ion cannon will short out these cuffs, and we drive out again." Tara chuckled.

"It really is handy having a technical genius around."

"Extra incentive for you to keep me," Willow grinned. Tara was about to respond, but a thought struck her.

"Sweetie," she asked carefully, "which remote control, was that, again?"

"The, uh," Willow blushed. "The hands-free... attachment... I put a transceiver in it, and rigged it for remote activation."

"The... insertable... control?" Tara asked. Willow reddened and nodded. "So," Tara continued, "you've got that... um... in situ?"

"Uh-huh," Willow nodded again. "It seemed, you know, a good idea - back-up plan, just in case, you know, what with the high the capture-and-put-in-death-trap rates on operations like this... so I... yeah..." She trailed off, then gave a sheepish shrug. "It's actually pretty comfortable, once it warms up."

"I can't believe you did that!" Tara laughed.

"Yeah, well..." Willow prevaricated, "...various sounds of hesitation..." Tara winked and blew her a kiss.

"When did you have time to put it in?" she wondered.

"Oh, when you were putting on your wetsuit," Willow chuckled. "After you'd got the main layer on, and the eye candy was over..."

"Resourceful," Tara said approvingly. "What do you need?"

"It'll be a lot easier to control if you can use your magnet thingy to hold it in place," Willow said. "So, I'll just... could you hold still for a moment?"

She swung her legs back, then forward, and started herself moving. After a few swings she was high enough to reach out with her legs and encircle Tara's waist, bringing herself snugly up against her fellow agent and holding on, with her ankles crossed behind Tara's back.

"Okay," she said, breathing heavily, "now activate your magnet..."

Tara turned her head sideways and bit one of her suit's seemingly-innocuous contour lines running along her arm. There was an answering hum from the level of her waist, and Willow trembled.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked.

"Fine," Willow said quickly. "No problemo at all... it just moved a little... I think it's securely fixed now, so you hold still... I'll drive. Okay, three squeezes to start the engine..."

Tara felt Willow's legs tense as she used her muscles on the control inside her. Willow's eyes seemed to glow for an instant, then the contacts she wore clouded over and gave her a stereoscopic view of the road in the town up above, where they had parked the Aston Martin Vanquish.

"In... gear," Willow gasped, wriggling her hips against Tara, "and..." she gave a hearty thrust, "go! Hard right!" She jerked herself sideways and gasped.

"What is it?" Tara asked quickly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah!" Willow panted. "Yeah, fine! It's just... oncoming traffic!" She thrust left and right, then rocked her hips forward against Tara's waist. "Uhhhh... just... it's got feedback... you know, road-sensing?"

"This gets better and better," Tara said, with a rare smirk.

"Distracting!" Willow warned playfully. "Okay, now... rockets!" She grunted and heaved her body against Tara, and there was a distant, muffled explosion from beyond the sealed doors.

"What was that?" Tara asked breathlessly.

"Just knocking on Daniel's front door," Willow huffed. "You okay?"

"You're not... the only one... getting feedback..." Tara gasped as Willow slid back and forth against her, gripping her tightly with her legs. "That waist panel you're... magnetised to... reaches down just far enough..."

"You want... me to drive... slower?" Willow asked, her cheeks flushing as she gave a series of thrusts. From outside, nearer this time, there was the staccato rattle of an automatic railgun, and Willow gave a delighted shudder.

"Or faster," Tara murmured, "either... works for me... oh god..."

"Those railguns have a hell of a kick," Willow agreed. "I'm in the corridors... lots of tight turns, hold tight..."

Tara kicked her legs up and managed, with a considerable feat of flexibility, to get her ankles around Willow's sides.

"Ohhhhh yeah baby!" Willow shouted lustily, as Tara used her newly-gained leverage to push her waist against Willow's crotch. Willow rocked side to side unevenly, thrusting up and down at the same time, clenching and releasing her muscles now and then, to the accompaniment of various sounds of destruction from outside.

"Okay..." she panted, her chest heaving in its wetsuit, which did nothing to conceal her curves. "Coming up on the main doors... uh! Uh-uh-uh-uh!"

"Willow?"

"Speed bumps!" Willow said desperately. "Oh god! That was not 'traffic calming'! Ready now... oh baby I'm so ready..."

"Do it," Tara whispered.

"Here it comes baby!" Willow moaned, squeezing and thrusting against Tara with all her might. The doors to the control room exploded inwards, and the agents' Aston Martin rolled in, its paintwork scratched on the sides, but otherwise intact. A panel in the car's bonnet retracted, and a curious, high-tech weapon emerged and gave off a brief hum. Willow and Tara's cuffs sprang open, and Tara managed to get her feet beneath herself just in time to catch Willow, who was in no condition to control her own landing. They sprawled, safe if undignified, among the imitation plants in the platypus's habitat.

"Okay," Willow gasped, "now just the platypus to deal with..." She and Tara looked sideways, to see Platypussy Galore staring at them in bemused curiosity.

"Put the car in neutral," Tara whispered.

"Done," Willow said, through clenched teeth as she squeezed. "Why?"

"I don't think Platypussy's a problem," Tara said, arranging her legs to find purchase on the sand beneath them, "but unless I'm mistaken, you didn't quite get to the end of your 'drive in the country' there." She wrapped her arms around Willow, cradling her head with one hand while the other supported her back, and thrust hard between her legs.

"Uh- Yes!" Willow shrieked, as the car revved noisily, and Tara thrust sensually against her. Her climax was swift in coming, almost before Tara had had time to settle into a rhythm she screamed: "Yes! Oh... god yes!"

Tara nuzzled her neck adoringly as she gasped, then leaned back and gazed down at her, admiring her flushed beauty. Willow lifted a shaking hand to stroke Tara's cheek. "Mmm, baby..."

"Magnet off," Tara murmured, touching the contour on her suit's arm. Willow lifted her head up and pressed a kiss to Tara's cheek, then moved to capture her lips in a second, far steamier kiss.

"Let's get out of here," she whispered at last.

"You read my mind," Tara agreed.

"I'll drive," Willow grinned. Tara nodded, and helped Willow stand up and brush the sand off herself.

"Oh," she said to herself. As Willow jumped for the edge of the ersatz death-pit, Tara caught Platypussy Galore around the middle, and carefully handed her up.

"We've picked up a passenger," Willow grinned.

"You never know," Tara replied with a smile, accepting Willow's hand as she pulled herself out of the pit. "She might be redeemable."

[hr]

Evil Lair Above-Ground Exit
Millau, France
0215 Hours


About half a mile from the outskirts of the town of Millau, an unassuming haystack remained spread open one side, revealing itself to be camouflage over a steel-lined ramp leading underground. Within, further down the tunnel, sirens were blaring, hazard lights were flashing, and a massive blast door was slowly descending.

At seemingly the last moment, racing ahead of a wall of flame, Willow and Tara's Aston Martin roared into view and emerged from the ramp at such speed that it flew for several metres before thudding down onto the grass and swerving towards a nearby road. The blast door slammed shut just in time to contain the firestorm behind itself, and the haystack whirred closed.

"I'm contacting the Ministry," Tara said from the passenger's seat, activating a communications console in the glove compartment. Willow nodded, and devoted her attention to negotiating the unlit field. In the back seat, Platypussy Galore curled up for a nap.

"We're being jammed," Tara frowned.

"Boost the signal," Willow suggested.

"It is boosted," Tara replied. "The only way we could be being jammed is... at close range..." Suddenly a siren blared through the vehicle.

"Missile lock!" Willow warned, thumbing a control on the steering wheel. Panels on the car's radiator slid aside to reveal banks of missile, two of which streaked out ahead, curved over each other, and shot back on either side of the Aston Martin to collide and detonate in mid-air with a pair of larger missiles roaring towards them. As Willow swerved on to the road, Cordelia's Lamborghini Diablo shot out of the shadow of a barn and pursued them.

"You didn't really think I'd assume that death trap would work, did you?" the former Bunny taunted over the radio. Willow and Tara exchanged a worried glance.

"Cordelia," Tara warned, "I've got the best driver in the Ministry beside me."

"Second best!" she shot back.

"That's not what it looked like off Long Beach," Tara said quickly. Willow gave her a surprised glance, and she added, lowering her voice: "She always had a bit of a temper, when the villains got to taunting her. Hardly my specialty, but anything that gives us an advantage..."

"If it weren't so trite, I'd say you'll pay for that," Cordelia snarled. "Think about this, though: you've only got eight target-seekers left, and after that, you're all out of weapons that can fire backwards. And I've got a lot more than eight shots in this baby."

"She's right," Willow said quietly, glancing worriedly in the rear view mirror at the Diablo, which was proving impossible to out-distance now they were both on the winding country road. "Sedans are always built for frontal assault - they're not so good at, uh, backal assault, or whatever..."

"I'll give you five seconds to give up. If you're nice, I won't tell Danny boy I found you, I'll just hogtie you together until we win. Hey, you might like it! Tara, didn't I always say you needed to rope yourself a hot girl?"

"Can we lose her in the town?" Tara asked.

"There'll be civilians around," Willow warned. "Do you think she'd risk them to hit us?"

"Right now I'm not sure of anything about her," Tara frowned. A roadsign showing a bridge flashed past.

"That's it," Willow said, veering towards an on-ramp.

"Willow?" Tara asked. "The bridge - it's a straight line, there's nothing to keep her from hitting us."

"This thing can take a few dents," Willow said confidently. "And a piece of straight road is just what I need right now!"

[hr]

Millau Suspension Bridge
Millau, France
0220 Hours


The bridge stretched more than two kilometres, there hundred metres above the ground. Tiny specks compared to its majestic span, the two vehicles roared onto the bridge, flashes of fire lighting their path as the Aston Martin's target-seeker missiles intercepted and detonated each salvo of heat seeking missiles from Cordelia's Diablo. Tinier flecks of light marked the ricochets of autocannon shells off the Ministry vehicle's armoured rear.

Cordelia smiled as she saw her prey accelerate on the straight bridge roadway.

"Amateur mistake," she chuckled to herself, ramming the gear shift forward and pressing a button on top of the stick. "Bad move Tare, should've picked a better driver." A large panel opened on the back of the Lamborghini, revealing a pair of jet engines which roared to life and sent the car hurtling forwards.

"Willow," Tara said worriedly, glancing back through the bulletproof rear windshield, seeing the Diablo closing on them.

"I know," Willow replied grimly. "She left the Ministry two years ago, right?"

"Yes," Tara frowned.

"Then she doesn't know about the ion cannon - even if she's got a scanner, she won't see it until it powers up." She glanced in the mirror. "Come on, use your AI missiles... what's she waiting for?"

There was a flash behind them, then a crack as something hit the back of the car. The tyres squealed as they slowed, and Tara looked back to see a cable leashing them to Cordelia's car.

"She wants to reel us in," she said grimly. The dashboard beeped urgently.

"Computer lock!" Willow warned. "This is it, hold-"

"I know," Tara grinned wryly, "hold on!"

Four plumes of fire leapt from the Diablo - four computer-guided missiles launching from its side bays, weaving out and then turning in mid-air and converging on the captive Aston Martin. At the last moment Willow ran her fingers down a bank of controls on the steering column, and spun the wheel sharply. The car's brakes locked, spinning it around, a razor-sharp buzz-saw slid from beneath the passenger side door and severed the restraining cable, and the ion cannon emerged from the bonnet and pulsed, detonating the incoming missiles as their on-board computers fried and triggered their self-destruct.

"My turn," Willow said, staring at the oncoming Lamborghini. A massive bank of forward-firing rockets lifted up from the car's boot and let fly, filling the air with flaming exhausts and smoke trails.

Just in time the roof of the Diablo blasted off, allowing Cordelia's seat to fly clear on an escape rocket as the car was blasted to pieces beneath her. The flaming wreck screeched across the bridge and smashed through its guard rails, hurtling off into the night and erupting into a fireball in mid-air.

Cordelia, now several hundred metres above the bridge, watched the car destroy itself, as her seat sprouted wings and stabiliser fins.

"She's out of the arc of the railguns," Willow noted, watching the glider as it swept away into the night sky.

"The jamming's stopped," Tara said. "We're getting a signal from the Ministry."

"Good," Willow nodded, "they need to know what we know about Daniel's program. I'll find somewhere secluded to park."

[hr]

Somewhere Secluded
Near Millau, France
0300 Hours


"...and he said 'point of transmission'," Willow finished explaining to Agent Hidden Bunny, Fred's field director of statistical analysis, on the car's communications suite, "so my guess is that he intends to use a single transmitter to broadcast the Panacea kernels to all the receptive sites those substations you've been finding are opening up."

"That'd be my guess too," the agent agreed on the monitor. "We've stepped up search-and-destroy operations, but unless Osbourne is planning to sit on his behind for a couple of weeks, we're not going to be able to shut down the vulnerabilities he's created in the world's data networks in time. We'll... hang on, incoming from M... She's skimmed your report, she says good work, report to the nearest safehouse, and wait for your assignment."

"Uh... thanks... I mean, thank her, from us," Willow replied, quite distracted by Tara, in the driver's seat and out of view of the monitor, wriggling out of her wetsuit. With a considerable effort, Willow fixed her attention back on the screen.

"M's still at the Ministry?" she asked. "I mean, this late?"

"We're running shifts around the clock," Hidden Bunny nodded. "Minimal rest for critical personnel. Enjoy the down time until your orders come in, she finished with a wry smirk.

"We will," Willow nodded.

"Ministry out."

"We definitely will," Tara agreed. Willow turned to see her stretched out on the reclined seat, head propped up on one arm, wetsuit draped over herself in a not at all concealing fashion, and one leg thrust provocatively out over the gear shift console.

"Um, gulp," Willow grinned.

"So," Tara purred, "when were you going to tell me about your passenger?"

"What about her?" Willow asked, confused. She cast a glance at Platypussy Galore, who remained curled up and contentedly asleep on the back seat. Her eyes shot back to Tara's as the blonde stretched her leg across the car's centre console and trailed her foot up Willow's thigh to her crotch.

"I mean," Tara smiled, "your other passenger..."

"Oh... oh!" Willow nodded, wide-eyed. "Well it was really just a spur-of-the-moment thing... and besides," she added, suddenly assuming a lascivious grin, "I was worried you might accidentally trigger the vibro-feedback test mode... using the diagnostic control in the steering column, just below the indicator arm in a little safe compartment, combination 2-5-1."

"Oh look," Tara smiled lazily, retrieving the diagnostic control - a slim palm-sized gadget - from the steering column, and pretending to be oblivious to her toes wriggling their way between Willow's thighs.

"Look what I just happened to find," she grinned.

"See, that's exactly... what I mean," Willow agreed, spreading her legs a fraction to allow Tara a little more access. "It's so easy to stumble across... and switch into test mode, by pushing the two green buttons, then keying in T-T-zero-D-zero..."

"You're right," Tara nodded solemnly, keying the combination into the gadget's tiny control pad. "See how easy that was..."

"And then, the merest noise would make the car remote generate vibrations," Willow pointed out. Tara widened her eyes, feigning academic interest in this titbit of knowledge, then held the gadget to her lips.

"Mmmmmmmmmmm," she purred resonantly.

"Mmmmmm!" Willow agreed, clutching her seat.

"Yes," Tara said in a low tone, making Willow shiver delightedly, "that's actually far too easy to do by accident, mmmmm..."

"Told you," Willow whispered, clenching her eyes shut.

"Maybe," Tara suggested, "we should tell Anya, and get her to reconfigure the control? Hmmmm?" Willow squirmed, holding Tara's foot tightly between her thighs.

"I won't tell her if you won't," she promised.

"Agreeeeeeeeeed," Tara smiled, sliding her toes up to Willow's waist as the redhead involuntarily parted her thighs. Willow ran a shaking hand along the blonde's calf, and lifted her leg higher, leaning down to kiss her ankle.

"Mmmmmm, remmmmmote control Willow," Tara chuckled.

"Just what you wanted for Christmas?" Willow giggled. Tara laughed lightly, then gasped as Willow closed her lips around her big toe and sucked it heartily.

"Sweetie," Tara purred, her eyes heavily lidded with desire. "I think... it's time to switch to manual control..."

At Willow's eager nod, Tara withdrew her foot and nimbly clambered out of her seat to straddle the redhead. Willow opened a hidden panel in the passenger side door and touched a button, which retracted the back seat - and its bemused occupant - into a rear compartment, leaving room for both front seats to recline fully, leaving ample room for Tara to stretch out on top of her and begin to open her wetsuit.

"I like this car," she said idly.

"Lots of neat accessories," Willow agreed. "But you're right, automatic is only so good. It's always better to go manual - have the control right there, in your... hand!" she finished gleefully, as Tara pulled her wetsuit open from neck to crotch and slid her hand between Willow's legs.

"First gear," she murmured, sliding down to rest her head on Willow's body, licking and kissing her stomach. She slid a single finger into Willow's steamy sex, and began slowly pumping in and out.

"Vroom!" Willow nodded, stretching her legs beneath Tara, her hands in Tara's golden hair, stroking her.

"Second gear," Tara whispered, adding another finger. Moist sounds emerged from between them, as the blonde's thrusts displaced generous amounts of warm nectar.

"You're a natural, baby," Willow murmured, one hand still running through Tara's hair, the other gently caressing her face.

"Third gear," Tara said, adding a third finger. She opened her mouth and sucked Willow's fingers as the redhead's hungry, moist core welcomed her questing fingers and clenched tightly around them. Her other hand snuck around Willow's hip, delving between her cheeks and massaging her tightly-clenched rose, slick with the rivulets of juice running out of her sex.

"Mmmmm," Willow purred, grinding her hips into Tara's hands. The blonde kept her other hand's caressed superficial, stimulating without penetrating.

"Fourth... gear..." she murmured around Willow's fingers, withdrawing her soaked fingers, adding the fourth, and slowly easing them back into the redhead's clenching channel.

"Ohhhhhh," Willow moaned, "oh, baby, sweetie, love you..."

"Love you," Tara replied. Willow's wet fingers stroked her chin, her cheek, ran up and down the edge of her ear. She opened her mouth wide and pressed against Willow's stomach, laving her tongue over all the pale skin circumscribed by her lips.

"Fifth gear...?" Willow asked, in a hushed, tentative whisper. Tara looked up slowly, without ceasing her slow thrusts between Willow's legs.

"You want?" she asked. Willow opened her eyes and met the blonde's gaze unflinchingly.

"I want," she said in a deep, husky voice.

"You've got," Tara murmured, returning her lips to Willow's skin. She slid slowly down, licking Willow's waist, her russet curls, while her fingers grew slowly more agile, venturing a little deeper, twisting a little more from side to side with each gentle, drawn-out thrust.

"Open," Tara whispered, finally reaching Willow's clit and circling it with the tip of her tongue. She tucked her thumb in her palm and pushed gently inward, withdrew, thrust, a little more each time, feeling Willow's body give more, her tight, grasping lips clutching further up her hand with every sliding penetration. She tilted her head to one side, placed a gentle kiss on the side of Willow's vulva, careful not to overstimulate her, to cause her to tense, and with a slow, inevitable motion, slid her hand beyond the final set of knuckles, over the widest point as the back of her thumb slid in, and buried herself to the wrist in Willow's yielding sex.

"Ohhhhhh!" Willow exclaimed in a low, constant exhale. "Ohhhh my god..."

"Willow?" Tara whispered, glancing up, seeing an expression of rapture lighting the redhead's face. Willow looked back, and Tara felt engulfed in the dark pools of green that caught her gaze.

"Yours," Willow said, "yours, yours... the moment I saw you, yours..."

"I'm in you," Tara said, unable to process any thought besides the warmth surrounding her hand, more than ever before.

"You've always been in me," Willow said, letting her head drop back. "Oh, Tara, please..."

Tara smiled and ducked her head, finally covering Willow's clit with her lips and sucking voraciously. She felt, from inside and out, Willow's climax begin, a heavy, trembling wave that ran through her, erupted from her mouth as a blissful moan and from her sex as a gush of nectar escaping the tight seal her lips made around Tara's wrist. It subsided quickly, and almost as quickly began again, Willow tensing, releasing, a second time, then a third, and again, again. Tara swallowed all she could of the precious juices coating Willow's sex, feeding on the ecstatic shockwaves - Willow's core was tugging at her, clenching and relaxing, and Tara let her arm go limp and watched in amazement as Willow's body made love to itself, forcing her hand back almost to its widest point with each orgasm, then drawing it back in, hungrily, bringing on the next.

It was a deliriously long time before Willow finally subsided. Tara gently withdrew her hand, placing a soft kiss on Willow's inner thigh as she felt her lips draw tight in the moment before she slid free.

[hr]

Note: That latest addition to Anya's eccentric arsenal of espionage equipment was inspired by The Toy. It's amazing what they come up with these days.


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Chris Cook
Through the Looking-glass - Every world needs a Willow and Tara.
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby onlyhalfevil » Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:34 am

Woohoo, an update! ROFL, I had such a time laughing. What a twist, to have Harmony create the program instead of Oz! Oh my. And the all round farcical villians-heroines banter was awesome.

I generally don't comment about this, but I just have to say that was the most creative plot-driven smut I've ever read -- getting your fun while remotely controlling your car to come save you - who'd have thought?! (edited to say: ok, I forgot the tail sex... that was creative too but wasn't as plot-driven :-D ) I know about the Toy, but it did not hit me while reading, haha, kudos for the great adaptation for the purpose of the story.

The "rescuing" of Platypussy Galore, could that kind gesture perhaps be setting up for Harmony helping them to destroy the program in some way later? :-D Hope you don't mind me guessing. I really dig your Harmony and it'd be kinda cool.
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Re: Smut Bunnies! (updated 18/Oct/05)

Postby Darth Pacula » Fri Nov 11, 2005 2:12 pm

G'day, Chris.

Great update, mate. I'd be more longwinded on the subject, but I've got my parents staying over at the moment so I'll have to give more involved feedback later.

ETA: Righto then. Well, first off, glad I could help you out with the KP situation. They do tend to schedule some right royal crap on TV at times, don't they.

But enough of that, on to the update. The standout here, for me anyway, (other than the drool-worthy smut that is) is the banter between Cordy, Harmony and our heroes. Poor old Harm is just copping it from every direction isn't she?

Tsk, tsk Danny boy. Classic villain mistake, telling the heroes the details of your plan before you kill them, and then leaving it up to some intricate device. Even if your scheme wasn't a work of hideous evil (deny the world smut? Heaven forfend!), you deserve a good boot up the arse for making such a mistake. Has he never read the 'Evil Overlord List'?

One point just occurred to me though. Daniel said that his PRUDE computer contained the Panacea program, right? Well, didn't it get blown up with the rest of the lair then? I know he said it was portable, but we never did see them remove it, did we? Oh come on, I know they did take it with them, but I can imagine they forgot to. Like the guy from Mythbusters says: 'I reject your reality and replace it with my own.' :-D

As for their escape ... didn't there use to be an emoticon for drool? Oh well, bring on old faithful. :thud Need I say more?

The bit on the bridge kind of surprised me. I was almost expecting a rehash of the formula one race car chicken run from the first Charlie's Angels movie, but hey, you can't go wrong with plenty of high ordinance explosives.

Aw, and now our girls have a new pet. Assuming she renounces her formerly evil ways. :-D

Great update, Chris.

Cheers,
Paul.
Last edited by Darth Pacula on Sat Nov 12, 2005 2:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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