Fic Challenge -- UPDATED (6/11): 22 FICS POSTED

[vix84]

Edited

[terra21]

Debra,

I read it and I was speechless, I re-read it and I am still somewhat speechless. Most of the other fics submitted, I have kept the criteria in mind and when they were mentioned my mind would say, 'Check.' However, with your fic I barely noticed that these odd items were being worked in. (except maybe the Jell-o, *rolls eyes at Carleen*).

So emotional and flowing as the story evolved. It was completely fulfilling.

Again, I'm at a loss. All I can say is that brilliant, sexy, amazing, engulfing, deep, and beautiful come to mind but I cannot form sentences with them.

[JustSkipIt]

Carleen – Did I mention thanks for the great challenge. This is the best received challenge I’ve ever seen so well done! And thank you for your praise. Tee hee about darker. Bit of an understatement huh? Like you, I generally fine VW a bit boring—not much to build on but for me the interesting thing here is Tara more than VW. Glad you liked it. Thank you.

Watson – Yay, the atmosphere came through. I really doubted whether I could communicate the atmosphere as well as the dance of light and dark.

Did Tara want to be Turned, or was it the best option out of no options.

I’m not sure that want was ever a factor with her. First off, understand that when she says she’s criminally insane she is 100% correct. Pretty much psychotic in my planning. Second off, understand that she actually believes the Maclay myth to the point that it’s fact for her. She knows that she will become a demon on her 20th birthday. To her the moment she realizes that Willow is in the barn, the entire meaning the universe and her life is laid clear for her. She knows everything that will happen in the next three days including her finally fulfilling her destiny. As I say it wasn’t a matter of want for her. Her statement is merely a statement of fact that she’s sharing with Willow, sure that Willow will understand and that Willow is going to turn her.

You’ll want to … wait to…

I’m not sure if that quote worked like I meant it. Yes, she knew that Willow was going to turn her but her reference was to her virginity: that by waiting the demon would get to take it and enjoy the blood that way too—I’m imagining quite a treat for a young vampire.

I also must admit that I really went back and forth regarding whether Willow should turn her. I contemplated an ongoing series in which we have a VW and human (but quite evil and insane) Tara as companions. They could travel around committing heinous evil and switching off their power. Tara by day, Willow by night. Still may create that story by changing the last few paragraphs but for this, I liked the was Tara’s being turned was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also, got to kill the Maclay men!

about Chat. But more than that: You chat? I wouldn’t expect that of you being so secret girl but thanks for the story. Thanks too for the reminder about my disclaimer. Ahh, the danger of cut and paste. Thanks so much.

Safuega – Thank you so much. I’m glad you found it so beautiful and sad. I guess I was expecting at least a “sick” but I’m glad you didn’t find it such. Of course probably some readers felt that way but stopped reading or didn’t feedback. Thanks.

terra21 – Speechless? Cool. I tried to find a way to work in the components without them standing out. Ok, the jell-o was weird but how could it not be?

Again, I'm at a loss. All I can say is that brilliant, sexy, amazing, engulfing, deep, and beautiful come to mind but I cannot form sentences with them.

If that’s what you say when speechless, then I wonder what you’d produce when on. Thanks.

[Tara22]

Oh Rozy,

You are most definitely one of the best writers on this board! Actually, I think you are one of the best writers in the world! I love how you are so versatile with your styles and topics and tenses. You write beautifully in both past and present tense and I think that is true talent!

I love that you gave this challenge a go, if for no other reason than that I got to read the results

And what results they were!

The idea of Willow being a radio announcer on a GLBT radio is fabulous! I love how confident and quirky she is! That is, until Talia/Tara comes onto the scene (great name swap btw). It's so cute how she gets all flustered and surprised by it turning out to be Tara.

And Tara, omg, lol! An online lesbian celebrity chef! What job could be more suited!

I must say your use of the pineapple jello was beyond divine and I adored the image of the pool and a chick winking at Tara suggestively!

The hotel scene was soooooo cute! I loved the password stuff and the first date. Goodness, Willow! She must have been pretty out of it not to notice the love confession!

Oh lol! I love the way you painted the entire date. Willow in her khaki shorts, sandals and an oversized sweater and Tara in the sexy dress.

To be honest, she had assumed that Tara must never do laundry, like herself, and that the dress was her only choice.

LMAO! Oh how apt!

Actually, now that she thought back, she could even remember the food they ate. Tara had had the Southwest Linguine with Mesquite-grilled shrimps. Willow could remember seeing the cajun cream sauce dripping from her mouth, and Tara shyly wiping it with a napkin. Willow had picked the Pacific Mahi Mahi, a tart, lime-flavored fish served with mashed potatoes. They had consumed their first bottle of wine, a $15 bottle of red that had made Tara giggle in a higher pitch than usual and made Willow’s head swim. Remembering this, she couldn’t help laughing at their innocence.

This entire paragraph deserved quoting! Fabulous! I love how you paint a scene so realistically!! The food descriptions, golly, need I say more??

And then your smut

Short but sweet, the way I like it! It didn't dominate the fic but was there none the less! As a wise man one said, SUPREME!

The whole fic was just cute cute cute!

You're a star, dollface!

I can't wait to read more of your work!!!

Rach

[Urn of Osiris]

Oh Vixy!!! This fic cracks me up. I love the idea of Willow as a DJ. This is a fantastic setup. I was instantly interested to see where things would lead. Tara as the secret chef? LOVED it! You should absolutely write more fic. It's a waste that you posted it in here. You should have done your own thread where more people might have taken the time to read and maybe even *hesitates to say* Review it. It really has become a lost art.

“Actually, I prefer for my vegetables to be eaten as crudités than to be shoved up orifices.”

OMG!!! LMAO!!! Frikken hilarious.

Write more soon!! Consider moving this and continuing the DJ fic. *imagines the wild interviews you could write*

[watty]

You chat? I wouldn’t expect that of you being so secret girl

well, here we were, with the new board and all. So I'm the sort of girl who likes to play with all the buttons, right? So I tried clicking Chat. Didn't work. Now nothing frustrates me more than not being about to do something on a computer. I tried another browser, nope. I read the Chat Help, didn't help. Then it clicked that I need to be on OSX, while I'm still on 9.2.2, and the first time I got through, using Firefox (what else) there was the gang and they were quite welcoming. So I decided, hmmm, that's a nice place to be at, so I went back. And then I got the newbie grilling, and told them more than I expected, but you behave differently in Chat, so it's okay. A few of them were even able to enjoy a little vicarious smoochies (cos gf woke up, asked what I was doing, peered at the screen and I had to distract her somehow )

It's all part of the becoming "unhidden" (*groan*) and coming out process. We were saying that it'll be nice if you dropped by ...hint hint, if you want to catch me, I'm around your Friday / Saturday nights, unless I'm a lazy bum and still in bed.

~~~~~

Onto vix's entry.

Talia McCay

That totally threw me for a minute, and I was tempted to go to the Feedback thread and complain about wrong spellings for characters. Then ... lightbulb!

Ahhh.. unrequited love, how awful for Tara, all those years, hankering after Willow.

"You know who I’m interested in? A feisty radio announcer who isn’t too shy to ask strangers about female ejaculation. A girl who spent her college year ordering herb samples off the internet to use in spells. You, Willow.”

Yay for Direct!Tara. And Yay! for smoochies.

That was a very sweeet entry, thank you.

ps I must have missed the asparagus reference, was it in the list of veggies you can use for, um, playtime in bed?

[taralicious]

Roz,
Your entry was both sweet and sexy in the space of sentences.
WIllow as a Lesbian DJ is a career path I can totally see her indulging in.
She can get celebrities to dish the dirt on themselves and got Tara to dish up her lust for Willow even if their college shyness prevented them from combining their special sauces.
I'd like to see Willow chow down on Tara's Big Maclay.

[daiailun]

JustSkipIt:

I thought Shadow and Sunlight was an incredible piece of writing, absolutely brilliant. Sophisticated, disturbingly complex, each scene was tightly controlled, precise, and purposeful. The whole piece was like a jigsaw puzzle that, only when the last piece was in place, took complete form. Even then, interpretation may well be in the eyes of the reader: my partner asked me what this short was about, and I said, “Choices, at least I think it was about choices, but I’m not so sure now.” I am still wondering whether Tara made a choice (to become demon), or whether she succumbed to a self-fulfilling prophecy? Told she was demon every day of her life, did she order her life that that eventually became true; down to the very detail where she became demon in the very chamber built to control it? (Which I found probably the most disturbing part of the piece--not what happened, but where it happened.)

There’s just so much you gave us to think about. It makes me want to tell everyone to read it just to discuss it! The use of shadows and sunlight is something I have been thinking about for days now(!) I thought it quite clever how the traditional use of light and dark imagery sometimes got turned around. Shadows are usually a place of brooding, introspection, danger, but here the shadows were actually the safer place to be. There are less choices when conscience is absent. Or summed up simplistically in Willow’s own words after finding out Tara’s mother was dead: “I’m sorry? Actually I’m not sorry because demon and evil you know? But sorry?” (The last ‘sorry’ a delightful nod to human Willow babble.)

But, are there are really any differences between shadows and sunlight? And that's what I come away with the most in this piece. (Even the Psalms makes reference to “the darkness and the light are both alike to you, O God.” Psalm 139.) The space where both meet has been a favourite theme of psimetris.

Tara’s ‘courtship’ with Willow over the two days was one of the most sexy I have ever read, and I don’t mean when Willow finally entered the house, either, and took Tara in the cellar. The latter, however, when Willow did take Tara, was mesmerising. A beautiful, powerful, and purposeful piece of NC-17.

I am curious as to how long this took for you to write, from the concept to the final product. Was this a flash or inspiration, or highly planned? Either way, it’s absolutely masterful, a wonderful piece of work. Thank you so much.

[Leafsdude]

Great fic, Rhi. Had me rollin' in the aisles!

Anyway, my review...

Title: Tumbleweeds

Right away, I knew this wasn't gonna be good (though I mean that in a good way...just bear with me, k?). See, ever since Carleen announced the challenge, I knew the tumbleweeds thing would end up being my undoing one day. Still waiting for that day mind you. But I knew it was gonna be a hillarious piece. Love the title!

“Okay, sweetie, just be careful with that cordless power drill…I know you and power tools…the power tool usually wins.”

That's great! Willow with cordless power drills? Baaaaaad mix...Very baaad mix!

“Damn fucking power tools, can only be operated by a stupid construction worker. Where the hell is Xander when ya need him!?!?!, probably giving Anya multiple orgasms. And for that fact, where the hell is the slayer? Oh yeah, either killing vamps or screwing ’em!!!...Fine,.. I don’t have the time to beat you into submission right now, just wait until tomorrow, you damned piece of shit. I’ll show who’s boss."

WILLOW!!!! You and your dirty mouth. Do ya kiss your girlfriend with it?

Oh, wait...she probably does.

"I mean don’t you play games like ‘Pin the Dildo on the Dyke’ or ‘Bobbing For Boobies’ or maybe you all take turns hitting a President Bush piñata until rainbow colored candies spill out of his asmmmmpphhh.”

"Pin the Dildo on the Dyke"? "Bobbing For Boobies"? HAHAHAHA

If there was a President Bush piñata, I'd buy fifty of them, and use em for every one of my birthday's!

Willow handed the doorman ‘Dave’ (identified by his name tag) the cover charge for the both of them.

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO! I'm FAMOUS! *does the dance of a happy famous idiot*

Then Kim another exotic dancer said “Make that three screaming orgasms, Mike.”

HAHAHA. Kim as an exotic dancer?

Great line, too! "Three screaming orgasms!"

Looking around the packed club, Willow noticed a blow-up baby pool on the stage.

You have NO idea how many bad ideas that gave me!

Written at the top of the board with different colored pens was ‘JELL-O FEST 2005’, and under it were many names. Willow questioned Carleen, the clubs Entertainment Director, as to what a ‘Jell-O Fest’ was. Carleen explained that it was a lesbian wrestling match to take place in the pool full of Jell-O. The woman who pins her challenger down for three seconds in the Jell-O pool wins and advances to the next round.

I love this competition already!

It seems that Tara had challenged Cameron in ‘Jell-O Fest 2005’.

Bold Tara, challenging Cam like that. That must be fun!

“Willow… Willow wake up, c’mon sweetie you’re having a dream”.

Awww, poor Willow. It just had to be a dream, didn't it? Or did it...?

Then suddenly Willow stopped and looked at Tara and asked, “Tara, Why is there strawberry Jell-O in your ear?”

Great ending to a great fic! Hope to see another one from ya!


PS. To Roz and Debra, I'll review your posts as soon as I get the chance! I was kinda obliged to review it cause of my cameo appearance.

[vix84]

It's about time I left feedback for stories on this thread. Right...19 fics, this is going to take a while.

1. Naeryn: This was really sweet. I love the surprise house, and I wouldn't mind coming home to find out that my girlfriend had bought me one.

2. Cameron: I love it! Very nice combination of smut and jello. When the challenge said that you don't have to combine the required elements with the smut, I hoped someone would. Thanks.

3. Yvonne: The costumes you pick are hilarious. I loved the exchange where Buffy compliments Will's drills and Willow compliments her udders.

4. Washi: Wow, this fic lived up to its title. I loved the part where Tara undoes her bikini top and Willow starts liking her dream. And I was amused at the way Tara woke her up with the prospect of being late to an exam. So typical Willow.

5. ringwaldoeuvre: OK, you get the award for sexiest fic. Oops for reading that at work! Thanks for sharing this, it's great.

6. wiccanbotanist: This is really cool. I love the amount of detail. Interesting idea!

7. Cyd: I liked this one a lot. For some reason, I could imagine the scene perfectly, despite the required elements and other oddities. Your descriptions are vivid and really catch the attention of the reader (er, as did the smut). Thanks.

8. Cass: Great way to incorporate all the elements at once. You got 'em in, and then had plenty of space for the smut. Nice one. Lmao at the office hearing.

9. Jeanne: Omg, this made me laugh so much. I loved every word of the asides (especially the donkey related ones). I adore Lady Tara! She does have a pretty good job.

10. Terra21: Gosh I love the randomness of the fight they have. It's as bizarre as the kind of things I fight over. Good on the asparagus for helping to reunite them. Thanks for posting.

11. watson: This was an awesome continuation of Tabula Rasa (and I use the word 'awesome' reluctantly, after reading your short stories. Even though I'm not American!). I really enjoyed reading this. The characterisation was spot on! And I also loved the line about Tara wanting to pull her hair back.

12. wimpy: Great fic. Omg at the way you incorporated the word Kitten into this. I have to say, the idea of the whiskers scare me.

13. Irene: I love the arguments over fan fic in this (I can so relate!). I love the end, where they run off to buy all those items and use them. Maybe we need a sequel.

14. Dark Wiccan: This is great. I love the setting of Oklahoma for a W/T fic. I really liked the part about the program changing her name to Will to be PC, and the mention of Anne Heche, lol. I'd love to see this fic acted out, I can just see Tara standing there with her roses.

15. Stacey: Really cute idea. I like how Willow gets both her wishes in the end.

16. Umgaynow: I love the mention of Ikea and the sex, er, massage, chairs. I was laughing delightedly at the vixeny vegan creating "her own sauce" with the Asparagush. Fantastic! Nice sound effects, too.

17. Rhiannon: This is such a cool idea. Tumbleweeds sounds like a very cool place to hang out. I loved each of the games, too.

18. Justskipit: This is really interesting. I was glad to see a totally different take on the challenge and the requirements. Like someone else said, I barely noticed when you did mention the elements, which is impressive.

Thanks everyone, this was great to read.

Tara22: Thanks sweetie! You're the best feedbacker. Thanks for sharing the lines that you liked. I like the real-life feedback of giggles, they're fab. *sighs happily*

Urn of Osiris: Nice to see you, Urnie. You're a pal! I'm glad it made you laugh! Thanks so much for your words.

watson: Oh I'm glad the lightbulb came before you reported me to the bad spelling police. Seriously, though, I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks for reading and taking the time to reply.

taralicious: Thanks for replying. LOL, combining their special sauces? Chowing on her big Maclay? Dude, I love it. Thanks so much for letting me know you liked it!

[JustSkipIt]

Roz – I liked it very much although… what a clueless Willow! Geez woman. Frustrating but then Tara got her in the end. Well done.

Watson - about playing with the buttons. Thanks for the hint about dropping by. I definitely wouldn’t expect that. I’ve dropped in a few times for a few minutes only. I’m very very busy and my wife is not very big on the whole, knowing/meeting people on the internet thing. So unlikely.

daiailun – Thank you so much for your detailed analysis of Shadow and Sunlight. I guess I never thought of it as a puzzle, possibly because from the moment I conceived it, there was really only place the story could end up. In a way Tara did make choices but in a way she had no power to do so. You might notice that the only line in the story told from Tara’s pov is after she wakes up and is a demon. While a human, she has very little emotional power. I once participated into series of personal growth courses that frequently used the phrase “living into…” so you might “live into your dream” or “live into your fears.” Basically, bringing it to pass. She is living into the life that was set up for her by her father, brother, and even her mother. While it is doubtless that she was damaged by and hated her father and brother, you might note that her request/instruction of the vampire to kill them came directly from her mother’s list. She left it up to Willow to interpret her desires.

To me the power that Tara has in this story is all in relation to Willow. She has basically trapped a vampire. Willow can only stay in the barn and where Tara allows her. To me the imagery of the sunlight/shadow is a trap that Tara keeps the vampire in. She even goes as far as to control whether the vampire can leave the farm at night.

down to the very detail where she became demon in the very chamber built to control it? (Which I found probably the most disturbing part of the piece--not what happened, but where it happened.)

Don’t take this wrong but I’m glad that you found this disturbing. Ironic would also be an acceptable summary of this detail. It is another example of Tara taking some control over a situation in which she has been badly used and abused. She knows that she will give herself (body and soul) over to Willow and she chooses to do so in the chamber where her brutality was created and nurtured.

There’s just so much you gave us to think about. It makes me want to tell everyone to read it just to discuss it!

Wow! What a compliment. Thank you so much.

Yes, you are right about the irony and reversal of the shadows and sunlight. I think that in this story Tara, while occupying sunlight, is a much more depraved character than Willow who inhabits only the darkness. We are looking through Willow’s lens at the monster that is Tara.

The space where both meet has been a favourite theme of psimetris.

I must admit that part of my inspiration for writing this story is that I like so much the way she portrays an evil but still intelligent vampire. I wanted to create a three-dimensional vampire like hers. Calling it a courtship is a perfect term for the way Tara controls their interactions over the two days (hey that would count as 1 in the 2nd challenge). Glad you liked the NC-17.

I am curious as to how long this took for you to write, from the concept to the final product. Was this a flash or inspiration, or highly planned?

Interesting question. I had the first thought about 8:30 in the morning while at work. I usually write while working (in 1-2 minute blocks of time while my browser loads an application). I wrote most of the story in that way until 1:30. Then I came home and finished it up (probably 45 minutes writing). So I’d say total writing time: 1.5 hours? Total time from conception to posting: 12 hours or so. Thanks for your compliments.

Roz (again)Thanks so much. Glad you liked it (although I guess you didn’t actually say that). Glad you found it interesting?

[DreamLover]

.1

[GayNow]

So sorry that my reply is so late in coming. I thought for sure that I had left some feedback for Roz and Henny, but...alas...I was remiss. And for that, I bow before you and ask humbly for your forgiveness.

First of all, I'd like to thank both of you for taking part in the challenge. I've been so overwhelmed with the number of responses! I truly didn't expect this many.

Roz: What a sweet story! But, poor Tara ... all those years of unrequited love. It's nice to see her step up and take charge -- seeking out Willow and being honest with her was really nice to see. And poor Willow ... all those years of just ... being unaware! But glad she was able to figure out what she was missing. Having Tara make Willow say the password to gain entry to the hotel room was very cute ... and a nice way to segue into the talk about "the date" from so many years earlier. Well done!

Henny: Willow's excitement over that dilapidated RV is just priceless! It's so her to believe that she could fix everything up and make it a traveling love nest for her and Tara! And it's so Tara to be so patient and calm with "over-excited" Willow ... all the while just knowing she would never really have to travel in that contraption. An asparagus tour? Now THAT is something I'd like to see! Of course, I'd also like to see a naked, jello-covered Tara, too! Good job!

Again, thank you to EVERYONE who has contributed to this challenge. I'm sooooo stoked!! I hope you will all consider Fic Challenge Part Deux. I know it's a bit more, well, challenging ... but that's why they call them challenges! Plus, I have faith in Kittens ... I know there will be wonderful stories to come!

Carleen

[Boschi]

Allright...I'm late to the party as always, but I started this much earlier and then was beaten over the head repeatedly by real life. But darn it, I kinda like bits and pieces of it and didn't want it to molder on my hard drive, so here is my first challenge effort.

As for disclaimers, setting, etc.: Who cares? It has jello, a power tool, smut, tumbleweeds and a very dim reference to asparagus (please excuse the stretch). And may I say that writing smut is an incredibly painful process...again, first effort, so don't laugh too loudly, allrighty?

Without further ado I present my rambly, unbeta-ed and odd account of a little road trip:

P.S. Thoughts in italics - sorry for the edit. Aaargh, I mean edits.. frick and frack...

****************************************************************************

"Tummy rumblies...tummy..." Willow whispered shakily, her face not only pale but decidely green. A sort of sallow sage. Or perhaps asparagus left too long in the fridge.

"Xander?" she tried again, waving her hand weakly towards her two friends in the front seat. In the passenger seat Buffy snored soundly, her mouth slack and her lap covered with Doritos crumbs. The car began another steep turn and Buffy's head rolled slowly to face Willow, her open mouth tinged nacho cheese orange.

Xander glanced in the rear view mirror to see a familiar sight from his grade school years - Willow doing her best Cindy Lou Who impression - large dewy eyes glistened as she looked at Xander beseechingly. Which could mean only one thing.

"Hang on Will!" he shouted, looking desperately for a place to pull over.
Like a gift from the gods a "Scenic overlook" sign appeared ahead and Xander jerked the station wagon swiftly across the yellow lines towards the pull off, skidding to a halt just feet from a steep dropoff.
Willow lurched to open the car door before the wheels stopped crackling across the gravel. Head spinning she staggered to a sandy area and clung to the ground.

Nice ground. Nice unmoving ground. Stupid mountainy mountains with their curves and bumps and ... Uuunngh...

Behind her Xander grabbed Buffy's shoulder to keep her from running over to Willow.

"Trust me Buff, give her a minute. She's not so keen with the comforting when she's like this."

"Like what Xander? What's wrong with her?"

"Car sickness - the Rosenberg curse. My years spent as her bus buddy trained me well - don't touch the Willster right now. She'll be okay in a bit."
He sighed. "Ah the memories ... at least I don't have that sympathy puking thing anymore."

Willow chose that moment to divest herself of that mornings' breakfast. And then the previous days dinner...and possibly lunch.
Xander's hand clenched tightly on Buffy's shoulder as he stared grimly at his friend.

"Urp."

Cringing in worry for Willow, Buffy turned to Xander.

"What did you say?"

"Uuuuurp...."

Buffy watched in horror as the color drained from Xander's face. Her Slayer speed put to good use, Buffy pivoted out of his grasp and in one smooth motion seized the back of his shirt and half guided/ half threw him in the opposite direction of Willow.

With a sympathetic cringe at Willow's moans, Buffy sighed. What to do now?

I wish there were more Doritos. Well, it is an overlook. Might as well look over.

*****************************************************************************

Several minutes later ...
Rifling grimly through the car in search of something to wash the unpleasantness from her mouth, Willow grabbed a Gatorade and leaned against the shady side of the station wagon.

Bleech. Stupid mountainy mountains...

She squinted at the bright blue Gatorade...wondering what flavor she was drinking. Taking a gulp and swishing it around in her mouth she pondered for a moment.

Blue. Definitely blue flavored. Which really shouldn't be a flavor. Because is it like blue raspberry? Are there blue raspberries?

The cool liquid cleared her head and calmed her stomach.

OK, maybe blue is OK. Now I just need a big pool of blue to jump in to. Ugh I feel gross. I want a shower. We've been in that car all day with it's wubba wubba vibration and rattling and all those ridiculous curves in the road. I mean who in their right mind puts roads on the sides of mountains like this?

Thoughts of winding roads filled her mind with a crazy roller coaster afterimage and she groaned.

Yup - a big pool of blue. Calm, cool, non movey blue. No waves, no uppity downy, just.... aahhhh...jello. A pool of blue jello. I will meditate in cool blue jello. I will be like Luke in that tank thingy, regaining his Jedi cool. The Jello Jedi, that's me. OK. Feelin' the force... I can do this. Thank you jello.

Her head clearing, she opened her eyes and made her way to Xander, who still knelt by a stone. She placed her hand lightly on his shoulder.

"Hey there. You OK?"

Xander turned to grin at her dimly and ambled carefully to his feet, his hand held rather delicately over his stomach. "Oh yeah, just peachy. How 'bout you? I had a flashback to Mrs. Davison's bus route when I saw you peering at me in the rearview."

"Totally ... thanks for the spiffy stunt driving, Rocket Racer." Willow smiled sympathetically at Xander and reached out to softly rub his back. "Think Jello. Nice calm blue jello. In a happy little kiddy pool that you can stretch out in."

Xander peered curiously at Willow, cocking his head to the side.

"Strangely, that helps...thanks."

"I knew it would" she said grinning brightly, "I am the Jello Jedi."

"Where on earth did I find you Rosenberg?"

"Bus #48, fourth window seat from the back, with Billy Maggers gum in my hair."

"Oh yeah."

They smiled at one another for a moment, fellow survivors of Billy "The Maggot" Maggers, then fell companionably into step beside one another.

"Ya know," said Xander, "Billy always did have a thing for you. Remember the worm he brought you?"

Willow shuddered, here voice rising indignantly.

"That was so not a thing! He had a thing? A me like thing? I don't think so and if so then ... ewww! Boys were so gross with their things .... cause," she paused. "That's not really what I meant. The thing, ya know, with their things...I just ... a worm? Not a great gift. I mean you never see ads that say 'Nothing says lovin' like an Annelid' now do you?"

Xander just kept smiling.

Ah, the wonder of Willowisms. It's good to just goof around like we used to. No apocalypsy badness, no spells, no confusing relationships.

"Or how about, 'An Earthworm is Forever'?", Willow continued, "It just doesn't have the same ring, does it?"

Just Willow and I hanging out, just like the good ol' days...

"You know what I don't like?" Willow's forehead creased suddenly. "I don't like those stupid Diamond ads with their overbearing marketing that implies marriage is nothing more than a sales contract."

Just Willow and I hanging out, yup.

"'A Diamond is Forever' - Pish! Buy a ring - get a woman. Which, obviously, ridiculous; and did you know diamonds aren't even that rare? It's just one more example of marketing dictating the emotional behavior of consumers who don't even bother examining the manipulative ploys of transnationals bent on ... "

Me and my brainy, remarkably opinionated buddy.

"... making what should be the most personal, beautiful decision this big stressful ordeal. They cheat. They cheat! They use all these words and these images .. Have you seen that huge billboard on Gables with that big-eyed girl and her Mr. Smarmy-pants looking pleased as punch, all 'Oh, look at us all happy and perfect in love with our ringy ding ding!' ? They look so happy and isnt that what we all really want - just to make our person happy, to have a person?"

Uuuuhhhh ...

Xander glanced over, wondering where this particular tangent would take them, and found Willow nervously shaking her hands and gesturing. She continued to speak, her voice rising to an anxiety filled peak.

" It's like they're saying 'All this happiness can be yours if you just buy, buy, buy. And I don't want to buy her. That's just wrong. I want her, but not in a purchasing her affection, patriarchal-kind-of-possesive way, because that would be sooo presumptuous and just wrong and Tara is completely beyond the whole material things take on life and besides then what would I do? Get down on my knee and be all ... "

Ah! I get it! She wants to ... Oh boy.

" ... and the whole symbolism thing with the ring being some sort of binding thing. It's like I'd be putting a little finger shackle on Tara which I think definitely implies some sort of lack of trust. And I trust her, and I shouldn't need something like that to confirm our relationship, but, then what if she thinks I don't want?

Heh. She said 'finger shackle'. Focus. Focus Harris. High octane babble intervention necessary. Wits gathered? Check. Wits gathered. Proceed soldier.

"Willow!"

Xanders sudden exclamation jarred her into silence and she peered up at him, looking for all the world like she had just let a man eating canary out of the bag. Her hand slowly slid up to cover her mouth. Xander reached out to squeeze her shoulder.

"Do you want?"

Willow nodded, her hand still over her mouth.

"Does she love you?"

Without hesitation another nod.

"Do you honestly think that Tara's first thought when you propose... 'cause that is where you're going with this, right?"

Nod.

"So do you think her first thought is going to be 'How dare she be all patriarcha..archal..ly? ish?' No. It's not. Her first thought, if she has a whit of sense in her, and I'm pretty certain Tara has an abundance of witty sense, is going to be 'Willow wants to spend the rest of her life with me!' And, might I add, 'Yeah!' "

The hand dropped.

"But what if she thinks a ring is silly, or ... " her voice dropped to a whisper. "what if she says no?"

Xander raised his eyebrows and looked at his friend.

"Well, you'll never know unless you ask. And the ring? It's an engagement ring. Meant to be a temporary accessory. Once the marriage topic is broached then you and she can talk about whether or not you want wedding bands. What you and Tara have isn't about some silly billboard. Even I know that.
Forget 'diamonds are a girls best friend'. If you want to get her a ring get her something you think she'll like - I'm pretty darn sure she will. I'm pretty darn sure she'll like it whether you give it to her standing up, sitting down, kneeling, or doing a jig."

Uuhhhh... save that thought for later. Much later. Ten-hut soldier, back to the fray...

Her head lifted as he spoke and as he finished she sighed.

"Thanks. It's just a little scary. I want everything to be perfect, but I don't know the rules, much less which ones apply."

Xander quirked his mouth thoughtfully and regarded the heat ripples rising from the expanse of sand and rock stretching out in to the distance. His eyes followed a tumbleweed as it bounced along, coming to rest against a mile marker on the highway.

"I don't think that the ring or the proposal are about making things perfect Will. I think what they are is a statement that things are already perfect between the two of you, or as close as humanly possible for two people living on the Hellmouth. I see how you two are together and I gotta tell you, I think you already aced this exam. So I'm not gonna say don't worry, because I'd be a nervous wreck if I was about to propose, but I will say that I for one would be incredibly happy for both of you if you got married."

He was startled out of his revery by a red headed hug. His face split into a wide grin which only grew when he heard the muffled question,

"Wanna be my best man? You really already are."

Maybe confusing isn't so bad.

*******************************************

Buffy leaned over the railing bordering the overlook point. The drop was steep, a wall of pale rock that jagged down to the valley below.

I hope Tara is doing OK away from Willow. She's probably been making pancakes for the whole research crew. Pancake tramp! We've been suffering through withdrawal, making do with cereal, and she's been dishing it out to complete strangers. Sigh. Maybe she'll make some during our visit.

The sun sizzled, it's light reflecting brightly off the earth. She tilted further out in to the open air in search of a light breeze, watching as an eagle coasted by, riding thermals. Far below it's shadow moved across the ground, a small dot of shade in an otherwise sun saturated landscape.

She followed the small movement and noticed a glimmer on a ledge below.

What is that? Shiny. Hmmmm.... if I just lean out a little further I can...

*******************************************

A series of exclamations interrupted Xander and Willow's hug.

"Fu... ooph... dammit!... hothothothot....uungh....Shiiiiiiiiiiii.... "

Their alarm grew as the sound fell away and they broke apart and in to a run. Silence greeted them as they skidded to a halt at the empty overlook. Exchanging stricken looks they stood a moment, too shocked to react. Xander choked out a weak,

"Oh God".

From beneath them a voice rose.

"Guys! Anyone? Please tell me you're over the pukeage because I so need a hand right now!"

"Buffy!" Willow, cried. "Are you OK? Where are you? What happened?"

"I just thought I'd try a little body sledding. You know, skidding over piping hot rocks for a little thrill ride - I'm all about the thrills."

Recovering from his shock, Xander piped up.

"Are you insane! This drop is hundreds of feet. You could've been killed. Are you hurt?"

"No," came the the reply. "Well not much. I'm thinking maybe a sprained ankle and a whole lot of scrapes. No big. I bounced a couple times. I didn't fall, errr...slide... that far - I'm on a ledge about 40 feet down. A very hot ledge. And I seem to be...uummm...stuck. Don't suppose we brought any rope?"

*******************************************

"Rope! We have rope!"

Xander's fist appeared above the open door, clutching a bundle of rope. He quickly tied one end around the car's bumper and tossed the other down to Buffy.

Down below, a frustrated Buffy looked longing at the rope that dangled just out of reach. Four more feet and she could reach it.

Or hey, forget the four feet, how about one more ankle? God this is ridiculous - they are so never telling Giles about this. Never. This whole helpless blonde thing sucks ...
Dammit. This sucks. Suckety suck suck sucks.

"I need another couple feet Xander."

"No prob Buff - lemme just move the car forward a bit."

Xander hopped in the car and started it. As he slowly moved it the rope dropped towards Buffy's hand and then stopped, inches from her grasp.

" Six more inches, Xander!" She called out.

" 'Kay!" he called back, and released the brake an instant before he heard Willow's cry.

"Xander! The edge!"

Suddenly the cars front end dropped as it's wheels hit soft sand and began to slide downwards. Xander slammed on the brakes, and then tried reverse as the car began to tilt. Sand flew out from under the tires, digging the vehicle farther in. As Willow watched, holding her breath, the car stopped moving, balanced precariously on the cliff edge. Buffy called out from below.

"Great! I can reach it now. All secure?"

Her question was met with two frantic voices. Willow's "No!" however, was entirely overpowered by Xander's scream.

"For the love of God Buffy, DON'T PULL THE ROPE!" he cried, not caring that his voice verged on shrill.

Inside the car Xander clutched the steering wheel, painfully aware that removing himself from the vehicle might cause it to tip. He and Willow stared at one another in the rearview mirror as Buffy's voice, drifted impatiently upward.

"OK, not funny teasing the Slayer like this guys. Guys? Guys? Are you OK?"

*****************************************************************

The day managed somehow to grow hotter. Willow punched repeatedly at her cell phone. Nothing. Zip. Zilch.
Just as she was weighing the risks of a levitation spell the sound of a motor grew in the distance.

A white van appeared around the curve of the road and pulled off, gravel crackling under it's tires. A bright red face framed by white blonde hair and topped with a broad rimmed hat popped out up above the roof.

"You all need a hand?"

Seeing the letters stenciled on the van, "UCS Department of Anthropology." Willow rushed forward. The face peering at her was none other than Els, a student at UC Sunnydale and Tara's fellow research assistant at the study site.

"Els! We are so glad to see you!"

Recognizing Willow, the blonde hopped out of the van.

"Willow! Good to see you. Tara's been talking about your visit for days now ... what happened?"

"Really?" Willow beamed. "She's excited? How is she? Is she good? Has she been eating? Did she get the package I sent? Is she using sunscreen? Did she find..."

"A-HEM" Xander interrupted, "A full and thorough Tara update awaits ... but can we haul our friend, the car and your nice, doesn't want to die right now friend Xander up first?"

Looking sheepish, Willow turned back to the amused Els.

"It's not our car. It's our friend. She fell over the cliff. She's OK, well not entirely OK but she will be and then we tied a rope to the car to try to pull her up and, well, you can kinda see where that lead ... "

Willow turned to look at the tilting wagon. Els whistled as he saw the predicament.

"Oh wow. That's no good now. Is she strong enough to pull herself up if we sent down a rope and harness? "

"Oh, I think she could probably handle that ... "

"OK, here's what I'm going to do - I'll head back to the site and get someone who can haul the car and your friend out. Shouldn't take me more than ten minutes to get there - You all are lucky - we're digging not far from here today. Keep to the shade if you can and stay calm - help should be here soon."

With that he drove away and Willow settled in to a shady space by the overlook edge, informing Buffy of her upcoming rescue. After several attempts to begin word games involving spelling or geography were met with grumpy replies, Willow fell silent and began watching the road, wishing for air conditioning.

Twenty minutes later, a pale blue pickup with a winch on the front pealed around the corner and skidded to a halt beside them, raising a small dust cloud.

The first thing Willow made out of the person in the truck was a cowboy hat, and it occurred to her that sometimes a good old boy in a truck was in fact just what the doctor ordered.

As the dust cleared her jaw dropped.

That was a Tara nose, crinkled up with smiling, under that hat brim. And the eyes.

Those are definitely my baby's blues. Goddess I love that smile. She's wearing a cowboy hat! and ... she's sunburned! I told her to wear sunscreen and ...

The rest of Willow's thoughts ground to a flatline as Tara stepped from the truck, eager to reach Willow. She wore a tight white tank top with thin straps that seemed to be holding up remarkably well give the strain put of them. The shirt stretched across her chest, dropping low to reveal skin that contrasted sharply with the paleness of the shirt. Dusty jeans met the bottom of the shirt and at the bottom of those legs ...

Those lovely, beautiful legs...

... were boots.

Butch? Huh? Huuuh? Humina humina .... Oh wowzer - I think I love good ol' girls....

Then Willow was wrapped up in surprisingly tanned arms and lost in a breathless exchange of "I missed you so much" and "I love you" and "baby" that was silenced quite shortly as lips met; tasting salt, dust, chapstick, tongue ... and a bit of blue gatorade.

A short but very satisfying moment later the girls broke apart and Tara grinned at Willow, who couldn't manage to verbalize her amazement at the change in her girlfriends appearance. She stood there, speechless, and before the flood of babble could build and break forth Tara squeezed her hand and spoke.

"We need to secure the car and we should get Buffy up as soon as possible. Heat stroke is a big problem out here. Does she have water?"

Willow shook her head.

" I tried dropping a bottle down, but I kinda overthrew. She said she would be O.K. what with the whole Slayer survival thing going for her, but she's getting kinda loopy."

Regretfully releasing Willow's hand, Tara jogged back to the truck.

A cranky Slayer answered.

"Tara? Please tell me you have rope and someway to move the car! Vultures are starting to circle and Willow keeps wanting to play geography games."

Willow rolled her eyes and Tara smiled. She had missed her quirky girl.

"I do Buffy - I've got a winch. I'll pulling the car up in a minute, OK?. How are you feeling?"

Buffy replied, perplexed. "A what? A witch? Willow said a spell was too risky - too much distance and weight."

"No, a winch."

"OK Tara, I don't know what the whole living in some grubby little desert camp has done to you, but the last time I checked you did not refer to Willow as 'wench'. And if your not refering to her then I don't even want to know."

Xander's shout filled the air.

"Winch! A winch Buffy. Winch as in a device to pull heavy objects, like this car and my sorry butt, out of messes. And I'm all about the extrication right now so could we just move on to that? I'm not up for plummeting to my death today."

Ignoring this exchange, Tara walked back to the truck, pulling Willow behind her. Smiling apologetically to Willow before releasing her hand, she double checked the emergency brake and then switched the winch to freespool. Grabbing the hook she walked carefully toward the car and then knelt, hooking the the cable on to the car's frame securely before walking back.

Willow raised an eyebrow at her girlfriend.

"You're all with the winchiness. And the grrr..truck. And ... wow."

Tara might have blushed - it was hard to tell through the tan. Her mouth pulled into a lop sided smile and her head dipped a little.

"I k-kinda like the winch. We've had to pull the jeeps out of gullies a few times when we were working on the ridge, so I got used to it? Besides," her tone shifted now to mischevious and her eyes glinted up to meet Willows, "I thought you liked it when I use power tools."

Willow's mind flashed to a certain "tool" they had purchased shortly before Tara's departure and her face flushed to match Tara's. Tara looked away, satisfied, and double checked the winch before calling out.

"Xander, Buffy, I'm going to start pulling the car up slowly, OK? Buffy, I'll only pull enough to get the car on safe ground - I don't want to drag you far so hold on tight."

"Got it. Ready when you are Tara." came the reply.

Keeping her eyes on the car, Tara flipped the switch and the winch engaged, humming to life as it began to wind the cable. Slowly the wagon crept from the edge and Xander's sigh of relief emanated from it's open window. Tara smiled and stopped the winch, locking it in place. Xander almost leapt out of the door in his eagerness to escape, but came to a screeching halt when he saw Tara.

"Look at you with the hat and the ... " Xander's hands began to drift up helplessly as his brain searched for a way to describe her shirt. He watched in horror as they began to cup and move away from his chest, but with a frantic effort he managed to pull them down and point toward the truck... "winch. I sure do love a good winch. Big fan of the life-saving winch."

He glanced to Willow, expecting a lethal glare, but she stood as transfixed as he. Tara leaned against the side of the truck, looking as comfortable in this place as she ever had in Sunnydale.

***********************************

With Buffy safe and the car on solid ground, Tara smiled as Willow hauled herself in to the passenger seat of the pickup. It had been two months since they had seen one another and she found herself staring happily at the redhead that she had so often imagined sitting in that very seat.

Suddenly shy, the two women simply locked eyes and drank in sights they had been without for too long.

The temperature began to climb in the truck cab, sweat beading on the their brows. A single drop slowly built above Willow's temple and began winding down her cheek, tipping slowly over her jawline before following the pale arch of her neck down to collect in the small cup made by her collarbone. Tara licked her lips, imagining drinking from that cup, carefully tracing the curve with her tongue to taste the salt and licking until it tasted of nothing but flesh and pulse and love and ...

The thought penetrated Tara's Willow-filled brain that her girlfriend was unused to this heat and that moving air would be good. Tearing her eyes away she groped for the ignition and the truck coughed and roared to life. Slowly she backed the truck on to the road. Buffy and Xander followed suit in the station wagon and the two vehicles began the drive to the research site.

Air blew through the open windows, tousling Willow's hair as they made their way along the road. Her hand found Tara's and they folded easily together.

Tara reached to shift gears and Willow began to withdraw her hand but Tara held firm, placing Willow's hand on the gear stick and covering it with her own. She gently shifted up and kept her hand there, the two of them driving together as her thumb rubbed gently over Willow's pinky. She smiled as a rock formation came in to view and she nodded toward it with her head.

"See that rock up there? I call it Turtle in the Bathtub. See the little guy's head peeking over the edge? At night you can actually see it better if there is a full moon."

Willow craned her neck to see.

"Neat! Oh! It a clawfoot bathtub - the little lion foot thingy is that boulder. Wait. You drive night? Isn't that kind of dangerous with all the curves and cliffs and things?" Willow asked, her voice filled with worry.

"I'm careful honey, it's OK. Yeah, we usually make a drive back to the main camp at night. We do a lot of things at night because it's cooler then. I like the time to myself, so I usually go for the supplies. It's nice - it's ... I don't know, quiet? Beautiful. Beautiful too." "

Tara smiled and continued.

"I've spent all summer wishing you were sitting right there so I could show it to you. Oooh! See over there?" Tara pointed to a small deep valley. "A group of Shumash - well we're not sure it was Shumash, but maybe their ancestors? They came throught there, migrating east during a bad season. There are caves there where they left supplies and some pictographs. A couple weeks ago Els found an undiscovered cave - we think we were the first people in it since the supplies were left."

Delighted at her lover's excitement, Willow prompted her.

"Where else have you been?"

And for the remainder of the trip Willow had her own personal tour guide to the mountains. Tara showed her "Dancing Gecko in an Apron" and "Tweed Man", which did look remarkably like Giles. As they passed a wind scoured arch, Willow pointed.

"What's that?"

"That's just the Arch - I didn't really need to name that because we all know it. But you can see the Big Pineapple through it."

Tara's smiled so broadly her face hurt. Willow was here! She was really here! At mention of Tara's constellation they both laughed, and their merriment carried them the rest of the way in to camp.

************************************

Dinner that night was, as usual, cooked on the grill. Buffy and Xander fell in to conversation with the students at the site easily. There is something about being a million miles from anyone else in the middle of a desert that lends itself to camraderie. Gradually however, the students shuffled off either to bed or to night research under the lights, and Buffy and Xander both began to yawn. Els, who felt rather proprietary after helping with their rescue, ushered them to the guest tents and Willow and Tara were left alone on the steps of the research trailer.

Willow looked at Tara, trying to mask her disappointment.

"So I guess you need to get to work huh, night-worker girl? Kinda like Sunnydale, only minus the whole undead bonanza; which by the way, nothing to worry about because we have it well under control. Not that we don't need you, because hello... much Tara needing, just that you shouldn't worry because I'll be OK until you get back. I just miss you, you know? A lot. There are things I want to say to just you. Just you. I know this is important to ... "

And then Willow's words were stopped by Tara's mouth pressed against her lips. When she felt the tension ease from Willow's body Tara drew back enough to rest her forehead against Willow's.

"Shhhh. I know baby. I miss you too. It's OK - I don't need to work tonight, I have light duty for the next couple days while you're here. So I'm not going anywhere without you."

"Really?" Willow asked, not caring that her voice sounded small. It didn't matter with Tara - it was OK to be small then.

"Much really-ness." Tara affirmed with tenderness. "Can I show you something?"

Willow nodded, and Tara led her to the truck. Silently they climbed in and without thinking their hands met again on the gear shift. The truck rumbled gently up the dusty track and away from the lights of the station.

They turned off at a point that even in good light might have been mistaken for a footpath, but Tara drove it surely. As she drove she began again to speak about the land around them and Willow fell comfortably into the sound of Tara's storytelling voice. By the time Tara brought the truck to a stop Willow felt as if there was no one else in the world but Tara. And that was dandy with her.

The air had cooled and Willow shivered as she stepped from the cab. Moonlight lit the ground, turning the rock walls around them luminescent.

"What's that sound?" she asked, cocking her head to capture the murmering that teased her ears.

"Water." Tara answered with a smile and then backed away, beckoning with a cocked eyebrow and crooked smile. Willow followed, and in short order found herself staring at a pool of water surrounded by low trees and grasses. Delighted she spun to Tara.

"An oasis! Just like the movies. But no palm trees. Should there be palm trees? And hey ... no scantily clad tempting nomadic women with their tamborines and wily ways, right?" She waggled her eyebrows.

Tara bit her lip to quell her laughter and wrapped her arms around Willow.

"Not tonight. Tuesdays are nomad night. Tonight is strictly Willow at the oasis time."

They fell to the ground slowly, an easy tangle of arms and nuzzling. Tara ended up behind Willow and spoke softly in to her ear as Willow leaned back in to her.

"Is this OK? I found it my second week here and thought of you. I w-w-wanted you to see."

"It's beautiful. Thank you." After a moment of silence Willow spoke again.

"You look good here Tar - you look right here. You look good all the time of course. You look incredible, but here ... you're different. Happy. Sunny. And when did you get all large with the butch, missy? You with your cowboy hat and boots. I thought Jimmy Bubba had shown up to save us and then you stepped out of the truck ... and wow. Big wow."

"Is that OK?" Tara asked softly, and Willow felt her lover's face heat against her neck.

"Best wow." Willow replied, smiling and lifting a hand to trace Tara's warm cheek. "Very OK. Very very OK. Very, very..." and she stopped, turning around to busy her lips with the important business of kissing Tara.

The chill of the night disappeared as they drew further together, drawing a breath back and forth between them. Two months of missing and wanting fell away as Willow cradled Tara's head in her hands, blonde hair tangling in her fingers. She drew away enough to return, straddling Tara's lap and Tara held Willow to her, her hands coarse against the delicate skin at the small of the redhead's back.

Tara fell backward as Willow's touch overwhelmed her and a moan escaped when Willows breasts pressed against her own. She had missed this; she had wanted it; she had felt it's absence everytime she found a place like this. She had learned to be alone again this summer, but she knew the world was always half as bright as it could be. Now Willow was here and everything was bright, even in the night.

She needed Willow, her body as full and wet as the haven around them. Their hands tore and fumbled at shirts and jeans and her mouth found Willow's neck. She began at the sweet spot behind her ear and kissed a path swiftly down to the tempting hollow she had so wanted earlier, stopping there to suck and devour every trace of salt and sun. Willow gasped and arched her back giving Tara the opportunity to roll them over, coming to rest on top.

A quick movement and Willow's bra fled the scene, giving Tara full access to the milk white mounds and sweet nipples she remembered so clearly. Whimpering with need she fell to them, rolling a sensitive bud against her tongue as her hands made their way down the tight stomach that trembled and strained towards them.

She found the top of Willow's jeans and ran her fingers along it's edge, dipping into them to trace the curve of narrow hips. She spared a glance up to see Willow's eyes wide and dark.

"Tara." Willow managed, her voice thick with need.

Then the jeans were open and Tara cupped curls while her thumb brushed softly under Willow's navel. Hesitating long enough to elicit a wordless cry from Willow, Tara's fingers found the eager wetness between her lovers legs and entered her, cherishing and teasing every fold.

Beneath her Willow bucked upwards, her hands reaching back to grab the ground and her head tossing side to side as she felt a hot burning building. Slick fingers filled her, moving surely into her while Tara's thumb caressed her. Through half open eyes she saw Tara above her, backlit with moonlight, descending again towards her mouth. She welcomed the warm velvety tongue that slipped inside her mouth, suckling eagerly then losing herself in the sensations of flesh on flesh, above and below.

There was nothing but Tara, everywhere. Blonde hair fell around her face, hands held her up and down, and somewhere between the beginning and the sweet, sweet end she lost all doubt. As she climaxed her wordless cry echoed joyfully off the canyon walls.

Above her Tara stared in wonder. She softly kissed Willow's eyelids and stroked her still trembling stomach. Before Willow could drift back from warm oblivion Tara slipped a hand behind her own back and unhooked her bra. Willow's eyes fluttered open as the bra fell away, revealing the full breasts she so loved, still as pale as she remembered.

In the moonlight a warm glint made Willow's eyes go wide. A perfect circle of gold hung from Tara's right nipple. She gaped confusedly, her eyes moving questioningly from Tara's face to the ring. Tara's forehead wrinkled worriedly and she chewed lightly on her lower lip as she looked shyly down at Willow.

"Um. Willow? Are you allright? You like? 'Cause if you don't, I can just take it out. Really."

Regaining her composure, and more arousal than she would have thought possible this soon after a mind-blowing orgasm, Willow nodded vigorously.

"I like. Definitely much with the liking."

She reached up hesitantly to touch it, and Tara held perfectly still. Willow's hand paused just short of it's goal.

"Does it hurt?"

Tara slowly shook her head no, a seductive smile curling across her face. She gently took Willow's hand in her own and drew it to her nipple, tracing their fingers together over the ring. She trembled at the touch, the sensation shuddering through her. She had almost taken the ring out the morning after the station crews rather wild trip to Flagstaff. She was glad now that common sense had not prevailed.

Before Willow's hands and mouth took away all further thought she heard Willow murmur with wonder in her voice.

"Definitely not patriarchally..."

********************************

The end (thank goodness...that was dreadfully embarrassing to write...)

[VMarie]

Well...I'm usually one late to the party and this is no exception. So, here goes my entry for Fic Challenge Numero Uno.

----------

Title: “The Handling Hiccups Handbook”
Author: VMarie (fmrly: LadyBrymstone)
Disclaimer: I don’t own a darn thing other than my imagination. Don’t sue, please.
Rating: PG-13 or maybe a weak R, I guess. Sorry, Car, I don’t think I smutted it up enough. Heh.
Summary: A certain Wiccan gets the hiccups. A cure must be found. Answer to Carleen’s Fic Challenge #1
Note: Thanks Watson for the ideas toward the end!

------

“The Handling Hiccups Handbook”

As the sun’s last lingering rays sank behind the homestead of one Willow and Tara, the two lovebirds are found engaged in one of the world’s oldest professions…home improvement. Our petite redheaded heroine, perspiring brow furrowed, placed her left hand, thumb and forefinger grasping a Philips-head screw, against the wall. Ever so carefully, Willow’s right hand aligned her trusty cordless DeWalt screwdriver to the grooves, pressed the on button and…

“”

…promptly drilled a hole into their bedroom wall.

“Dammit!” The redhead cursed a bit of a blue streak, calmed down and tried again. “Ok. Ready, aim…!” Just as suddenly as the first, a matching hole appeared, this time on the opposite side of the intended target point. “Sonofa…grrrr!.” One, two, three more times our fearless flame-haired vixen tried in vain to drill the screw into the wall, all resulting in hiccup-induced holes. Defeated, Willow threw the screwdriver on the floor in disgust.

“Taaaar……aaaaa……aa!” Taking a deep breath, she called out again. “Tar……aaaa……aaa!”

Seconds after that pitiful yell a blonde whirlwind raced up the stairs into the bedroom. “Willow? What’s the matter?” She took a look at the wall and ran her fingers over the offending holes. “And, uh, what happened to the wall?”

Willow tried to answer her girlfriend, but the interruptions would not stop. “Tar……a. I…have……the……………hiccups. I……can’t…hang the piture.” She pointed at the wall. “See? .”

Tara immediately scooped the rattled redhead in her arms. “Oh, baby. I’m sorry.” She giggled as she felt her girlfriend continue to hiccup despite her face being nestled in the crook of Tara’s neck.

Willow looked up at her partner, pouting. “It’s not funny….” Willow sighed. “I……wanted to hang the piture before the gang got here.”

Tara stepped back from the embrace and gently clasped Willow’s hand. “I know, baby. Come on, let’s go downstairs.” She led the redhead to the staircase. “We’ll see if we can find a cure for those pesky hiccups.”

---------

A few minutes later, the pair sat at the kitchen table pouring over Aunt Carleen’s Home Remedy and Aphrodisiac Cookbook. It was easy enough to find the section on curing hiccups. The hard part, however, was finding the quickest and easiest one that actually worked. “Sweetie,” Tara spoke. “Let’s come back to the first page later. I really don’t want to boil some 'Tumbleweed Tea' unless absolutely necessary.” There was just something odd about that recipe, the blonde thought. “I think this Aunt Carleen may be a few seeds short of a mustard poultice, if you ask me.” Not bothering to talk, Willow simply nodded her head in agreement.

Tara looked down the second page and saw an interesting entry. “Ooh, it says here that sucking the juice from a stalk of steamed asparagus and then jumping up and down five times can help stop the diaphragm spasms.” She glanced up and saw her lover’s frown. “I know, Will, sweetie. You hate asparagus. You think it’s gross, it makes your urine smell and you hate the rubbery texture. But, baby…if it stops your hiccups it can’t be all that bad, right?” The redhead pouted some more, but capitulated. “Ok, asparagus stalks coming right up!” Tara’s next few minutes were spent steaming the oh-so-conveniently on-hand asparagus stalks, while Willow’s were spent unsuccessfully trying to cure the hiccups without having to resort to vegetable suckage.

A minute or so later, Tara presented a defeated Willow with a small plate of the limp stalks. Willow immediately frowned and lowered her head. The blonde gently lifted the redhead’s head by the chin. “Come on, baby. It’ll be all over in a couple of minutes.” Willow pouted some more. A little more stern, but still playful, Tara prodded her partner to act. “Suck it up, Will. The quicker you start, the quicker it’ll be over.” With a reluctant hand, Willow picked up a stalk of asparagus and wrapped her lips around it. Already grimacing, she quickly sucked the juice from offending vegetable. She popped the stalk from her mouth and repeated the process with the second one. Finally after a third piece, the tank top-clad Wiccan began the jumping part of the remedy. The sight of braless bouncing Willow momentarily distracted Tara from her otherwise flawless doting duties. Having stopped jumping, the redhead waited patiently for her girlfriend to pick up her dropped jaw and snap out of her mental mammary montage. “Ooh, sorry sweetie. Got lost there for a minute,” a blushing Tara offered as an apology. “So, uh, did it work?”

Willow took a deep breath and spoke. “I think so.” She grinned. “Oh, thank the Goddess! I’m over my …ups.” The grin evaporated as quickly as it emerged. “Damn.” Wordlessly, she walked over to the kitchen counter, grabbed the book and handed it back to Tara.

With a sympathetic look to her suffering soul mate, the blonde turned to the next hiccup-halting suggestion in Aunt Carleen’s book. “Ok. Let’s see…hmmm. Oh my. This is interesting.” Tara turned to Willow and pointed at suggestion number three. As Willow read, her eyes got wide and her face flushed. Ms. Maclay smirked at her girlfriend. “What’s wrong Willow? You don’t like the suggestion?” Willow glared at Tara. “Will, there must be some benefit or else this Aunt Carleen wouldn’t have suggested it.”

“Tara. . You can’t……be serious…,” Willow remarked.

“I’m very serious. Come on, sweetie. It would be remiss of us to not try this suggestion.” Tara grabbed the redhead’s hand and guided her over to the kitchen cabinets. “Ok, darling. You grab a half dozen boxes of your favorite…green apple.” Again Willow glared at the blonde. “Ok, ok. My favorite.” A ‘harumph’ was heard as Tara bent down to reach the lower cabinets. “I will boil the hot water and get the outside supplies ready.” She looked at her lover and made a suggestion. “Will, baby, you uh, might want to change into a little less clothing. Wouldn’t want to ruin those, despite the paint splatters.” Tara let out a guffaw as Willow let loose one last laser-pointed glare and headed upstairs to change.

----------

After what seemed like an eternity to Tara (it was really only five minutes or so), Willow finally emerged from the bedroom. The blonde witch did a double take as her partner breezed by, hiccups and all, in nothing but a skimpy black bikini. If Tara wasn’t careful, she mused, this ‘solution’ might end up igniting a spasm instead of extinguishing one. Pulling herself away from her errant thoughts, Tara set about preparing Aunt Carleen’s Gelled Swim Spasm Solution. First, she quickly inflated the, again, oh-so-conveniently on-hand kiddie pool. Then she poured the contents of the boxes of green apple flavored Jell-O inside. Immediately after, she emptied the large pot of boiling water into the pool and blended it with the Jell-O powder. Finally, she filled the remaining pool space with cold hose water and ice cubes to quicken the set time.

“Wil-low,” Tara spoke in a sing-song voice. “Let’s get you in the pool. The book says you should enter before it completely gels.” Willow walked to the edge of the kiddie pool and gulped.

“…Tara. I dunno about this. . It’s so……gelatinous.” She walked around the pool, eyeing its contents with suspicion. “And how……do I……get in?”

Tara walked up quietly behind her redheaded partner. “Well, it says Aunt Carleen is adamant that only one entry method be used. Immersion.”

“Immersion? ” Willow paused. “Wait…you don’t mean…”

“Yep…in you GO!” With those dire words, Tara thrust her arms forward and shoved her hiccupping soul mate into the green semi-gelled mess.

“Tar…..aaaaa!” Willow landed face-first with a resounding squish and splat, immediately sinking into the Green Apple Jell-O. The redhead, after a few seconds, slowly turned herself around, sat up and faced the blonde. Wiping the Jell-O from her face, she heard the heretofore welcome sound of Tara giggling. This time, however, the sound felt like nails down a blackboard. The witch glared at her partner.

Still giggling, Tara moved closer to the edge of the pool, a mock sympathetic look on her face. “Oh baby. I’m sorry.” Willow repeated her glare. The blonde chuckled a little louder this time. “Aww, Will…don’t look at me like that.”

“I……can’t believe……you……pushed me.” Willow pouted as she continued to try to wipe the green substance off her eyes.

“I was only following Aunt Carleen’s advice. Besides, you’ll thank me if this gets rid of the hiccups.” Willow rolled her eyes at Tara, but said nothing. She pointed at the book that rested near the pool. Tara picked the book up and opened to the recipe. “Ok, Will. It says now that you are supposed to swim and flail around in the semi-gelled gelatin for five minutes. Aunt Carleen claims that the cooled gel sensation is supposed to calm any spasms plaguing one’s body.” Tara closed the book and threw it back down onto the grass. “I wonder if Aunt Carleen was a Jell-O wrestler in a former career. Who thinks this stuff up?” She shrugged her shoulders as she pointed at the pool. “Swim, Willow.”

The redhead, silently thanking the Goddess for the privacy fence they had erected earlier in the summer, started ‘swimming’ around the little kiddie pool. Now the term ‘swimming’ is used loosely considering the fact that the pool was probably only six feet in diameter, but she gave it the ol’ college try. In fact, much to the delight of her blonde love, Willow even attempted the backstroke. However, that delight was short-lived. As Willow finished a down-stroke a sizeable splash of green Jell-O sprayed the front of Tara.

At the sound of the blonde’s shriek, Willow stopped swimming and looked up with mock horror. “Tara! Your shirt.” The redhead smirked at Tara.

Realizing that Willow’s actions were on purpose, Tara fumed. “Oh you are SO gonna get it, Willow.” With that she quickly moved to the side of the pool, bent down and scooped up some of the quickly setting Jell-O. She proceeded to smear it onto the redhead’s stunned face with half of it ending up in Willow’s mouth. Laughing in triumph, Tara patted Willow’s head as she tried to both spit out and swallow the green gel. “You know, Will, you should really try keeping your mouth closed when you’re shocked. Might not end up with a bunch of Jell-O next time.” Before Tara had a chance to move her hand away from the other woman’s proximity, Willow grasped it. She looked down at the redhead.

“No……hard……feelings……Tara?” Willow craned her neck and placed a soft kiss on Tara’s lips.

“None, my love,” Tara whispered back.

“Then…,” Willow took both her hands and grasped them around the blonde’s that had just been patting her head, “forgive me.” Tara didn’t even have time to yelp appropriately before she too experienced the ‘Immersion’ method of kiddie pool entry. Willow wasn’t left unscathed, however. Her hasty plan to introduce Tara to half-set Jell-O not only resulted in immersed Tara but also submerged Willow. The redhead had pulled the blonde so strongly that she landed on top of her, effectively giving Willow a green apple dunking. Realizing this, Tara quickly (well as quickly as one can when surrounded by slick gelatin) scrambled off her partner.

Willow emerged from the dunking spewing like a green ooze fountain. If one were to look at the Wiccan, it might be difficult to tell whether the downpour was oral, nasal or both. The two women eyed each other suspiciously for a second before launching themselves into a knock down, drag out wrestlefest. Slick limb intertwined with slick limb while heads dunked and bodies pressed together in a drippy, desperate dance of dominance declaration.

As anyone who has taken a shine to sticky substance skirmishes would know, it only takes a minute for tempestuous tangles to turn to fevered frenzies. Headlocks and hair pulls were quickly replaced by hand roving and well, ok, hair pulls. Thoughts of dunking and tumbling evaporated in the gaze of blue to green. Hiccups and hollers forgotten as mouths joined and bodies struggled for maximum contact. Clothing was shed and pretenses abandoned as their passion escalated. Knees pressed and hands searched fervently to fit grooves discovered ages ago. The setting may have been different, but the scene played the same as it had many times before, this declaration and fulfillment of want, need and love, the expression of which was audible only by the two in staccato moans, keen whimpers and fast breaths.

“Oh. My. God,” Tara exhaled, too tired to move. She looked up at the redhead she was curled into. “Will?” Willow stirred from her light sleep and looked at her partner. “You ok?” She nodded, kissed Tara’s forehead and smiled.

“I will never be able to look at green apple Jell-O the same way. Ever.” Tara giggled at Willow’s words and realized they weren’t punctuated by hiccups.

“Will! You didn’t hiccup!”

“Hey! I think you’re right. Let me check for sure.” She breathed deeply, ignoring the intense green apple scent assaulting her lungs. “Red rubber baby buggy bumpers.” She tried again. “She sells sea shells by the seashore.” Third times the charm. “Tomorrow tumbleweeds triumphantly tangle in tough terrain.”

The blonde quirked an eyebrow. “Tumbleweeds?”

“Nevermind,” the redhead smiled and shook her head. “Let’s get out of this mess and get cleaned up. I’m exhausted.”

“Me too.” Tara tried extricating herself from the Jell-O pool. She attempted to move her arm but all she managed to do was make a strange suction-y sound. “Will? Baby, move your arm.”

“Uh, I can’t, Tara. It’s stuck.” She also tried moving her leg but to no avail. “What the hell? Oh Goddess, Tara.” Realization dawned on Willow. “The Jell-O. It’s set. It set with US in it!” Panic gripped the Wiccan as she struggled to move in the gel. “How the hell can it be so firm when we only used six boxes!” She looked over at the blonde and noticed a guilty expression forming on her face. Willow’s eyes went wide. “Tara, what did you do? You did something, what did you do? How many boxes did you put in the pool.”

Tara sheepishly answered. “Um, well, while you were changing I looked at the pool and figured six boxes wouldn’t be enough. So I went back into the kitchen and grabbed the other six and set about getting the pool prepared.”

“Twelve?! You put TWELVE boxes of Jell-O in the pool? Tara! We’re STUCK!”

“I know! I’m sorry! I didn’t know!”

Just then, the backyard gate opened and in sauntered a questioning Buffy, Xander and Anya. “Didn’t know what, Tara?” Buffy asked as she walked up to the pool. Not being the quickest-minded of the Scooby Gang, it took her a few seconds to realize Willow and Tara weren’t just cooling off from the heat in the wading pool. “Oh. My. God. Is that Jell-O? Are you guys in Jell-O?” Xander, mind quickly in the gutter, raced over to where Buffy was standing.

“Did you have Jell-O wrestling and not invite me?” That earned an elbow to the ribs from his blonde best friend. “Ouch, Buff.”

Anya made her way to the scene and exclaimed. “Ha! Don’t you just love Jell-O with Wiccan cream?”

Buffy, Xander, Willow and Tara all shouted in unison “ANYA!”

“I meant, whipped cream. Sorry…whipped cream.” Xander glared at his again-fiancée. “What, Xander. It’s obvious what was going on in the pool, just I’m the only one that’ll say it.” Xander quirked an eyebrow. “Good grief, Xander. For someone with such a guttermind, you can be so dense. Ok, connect the dots. Tara and Willow were obviously having orgasms in the Jell-O pool. And another word for orgasm is cre----.” She was cut off by Xander’s hand over her mouth.

“ANYA! We get it! Stop!” The dark-haired man looked over at the Jell-O encased women. “I have to ask though. Why a Jell-O pool?”

Willow and Tara both turned deep red. The redhead countered, “Uh, how about getting the sticky Wiccans out of the pool first, then explanations.” Xander nodded and he, Anya and Buffy, slowly, carefully, and with an extremely loud suction noise, extricated the partners from the green apple Jell-O’s evil clutches.

Buffy ran into the house for towels and soon the pair were sticky, but dry. Xander, sensing the time was right, posed his question again. “So, Will, Tara…why the Jell-O pool?”

Tara, blushing furiously, tried to explain. “Well, ok, we were hanging pictures and stuff in the house and Willow got the hiccups. The normal stuff like scaring and holding your breath didn’t work. So I went to the bookshelf and got one of those home-cure books.”

Anya perked up and exclaimed. “HA! I knew this whole thing looked familiar.” She looked down and saw a book nestled in the grass. “Yep. Here it is. ‘Aunt Carleen’s Home Remedy and Aphrodisiac Cookbook’!”

“Yes, Anya. That’s the book.” She removed it from Anya’s hands. “We were pretty desperate. So, we started trying the ideas.”

“Did you try the asparagus?”

Willow looked wide-eyed at Anya. “You know about that one?”

“Know about it. I helped her write that one. Variations of that remedy have been passed on for longer than my demon years.”

“Wait. You helped her? You know ‘Aunt Carleen’?”

“Yep. We go way back.”

“She’s a little well, quirky.” Tara shyly surmised.

“I was gonna go for insane.” Willow retorted.

“I think I’ll go with Willow on that one.” Anya concluded. She shook her head and followed as everyone moved into the house. “She has this unnatural fascination with tumbleweeds. I told her to get help, but she just won’t listen.”

“Yeah, we noticed the number one hiccup cure she listed was something called ‘Tumbleweed Tea.’”

“Ooh! Actually, that one’s great. But no so much for the hiccup curing, but the after effects.” Anya grinned.

“After effects?”

Anya grinned even wider. “There’s a reason it’s called ‘Home Remedy AND Aphrodisiac Cookbook’.”

Tara and Willow looked at Anya. “Really? That good, huh?”

“Yep,” Anya answered as she closed the sliding glass door to the backyard.

“Interesting,” Willow and Tara both commented as they looked at each other.


Later that night, after the others had left and Willow was sound asleep, a pajama-clad Tara snuck downstairs. She slipped into the garage, grabbed a pair of gardening gloves and exited the house through the side door. Just as she walked to the driveway she saw it. In the light breeze, a small tumbleweed rumbled down the street. Quickly the Wiccan padded down to the road and with great care, her gloved hands caught the little bundle.

“Come on little tumbleweed. I’ve got a much better use for you.”

The End.
--------

Hope it was to your liking.

[GayNow]

WOOT! Two new contributions!

Boschi thanks so much for joining in. Better late than never, I always say! This was really a lot of fun. The images of Willow being car sick, Xander having sympathy sickness, and Buffy being completely oblivious to it all were just so vivid...and dead on! And again we see Xander, for all of his lovable goofiness, being the one who really sees and understands. You've showed his and Willow's relationship very nicely. And HELLO Tara! Damn. Now THAT is something I'd really like to see. What a nice image you've created there! Can I play with Tara's ring too?

Marie that was worth the wait! So funny! Hey! Where are my royalties from that book? I could be vacationing in Hawaii right now! hehe Green Apple jello? Is that really a flavor? Cuz, if it is, I gotta try it! With a little Sour Apple Pucker...that could be gooooood! And, oh yeah, me and Anya...we go waaaaay back! She was so helpful with some of those remedies...added my own little twist to them though. So much fun, Marie! Now, what do we have to do for an update to Slipping? hmmmm?

Again, thanks to both of you for joining in on the fun! Anyone else want to play?

Carleen

[watty]

One thing I can say about this challenge is how it brings out the funny in all of us, so light hearted, and so many different styles of comedy. Not to mention Car's tumbleweed obsession -- thanks Sweetie for the challenge.

Am also glad there is still interest in this, Boschi and Marie, you're not late. You even helped revive interest in the challenge, so yay !

~~~~~

Boschi - Willow gettting carsick is a great twist! I can see Xander knowing exactly what to do and helping her out.

"Where on earth did I find you Rosenberg?"

"Bus #48, fourth window seat from the back"

In the first few seasons Willow and Xander's childhood friendship was captured just right. I can't believe what they did it later seasons, it was as if these two didn't know each other anymore.

"I am the Jello Jedi."

I'm surprised no one's coined that alliteration before. Good stuff.

The switch from "boys and their things" to the rant about diamonds that leads to proposing to Tara was so Willowesque and you just know she's dying to ask her girl.

Now, Tara in cowboy hat and boots and white tank top and suntan and, and, and the nipple ring!

~~~~~

Marie - that was quick! You went away to write when I was asleep and BAM! I wake up to a fully completed entry . And HILARIOUS. Hiccups and how to cure them . The whole Willow drilling holes in the wall sequence was very realistic.

Now this Aunt Carleen,

a few seeds short of a mustard poultice

I don't know if it was on purpose but sucking juice from an asparagus stalk brought all sorts of disturbing images to my mind, ewwww Aunt Carleen where did you get these ideas?

“The Jell-O. It’s set. It set with US in it!”

I'm glad you wrote so much on the jello part, fricking hilarious. HAHAHAHA!

And of course Anya, being Anya

“Ha! Don’t you just love Jell-O with Wiccan cream?”

Oh yeah, I can see how she would like that cream.

Your comic timing was great, it's a talent. Keep writing!

[GayNow]

Just an FYI, Kittens....

This challenge will be closing on June 22. At that time, I will ask the moderators to move this thread to the archives.

So, if you still have ideas for pools of jello and tumbleweed, get to writin'!

Carleen

[GayNow]

This challenge is now officially closed.

I have asked the moderators to move it to the completed archive.

I would once again like to thank the TWENTY-TWO kittens who contributed fics to this challenge! I can't tell you how good that feels.

There are still two challenges posted on the board: Fic Challenge Part Deux and Fic Challenge: Third Time's a Charm.

Please take a look at these challenges and urge yourselves and your friends to contribute fics! I've so enjoyed reading these...as have many many others. So, please, keep up the creativity!

There will be a new challenge posted in about a week and a half. Want a preview? I'll tell you this much -- it's title is "Fic Challenge 'Four'-play".

Thanks again!

Carleen

[FineyMcFine]

For the 22 kittens who posted fics to this challenge, I would like to offer you an award to acknowledge your great work.

I've never had THIS flavor of jell-o

[GayNow]

OMG Sally! That's great!!!! Thank you so much for doing that. I love it.

And to all of the writers in the first challenge...you are all deserving of this award. These were OUTSTANDING stories. Please, post your award with pride.

Carleen

[Willowtree252]

OK, so I found this thread a couple days ago and I have read all of the posted stories...funny sexy and hilarious as usual...so of course I was inspired to write one of my own...I got a little carried away so it's pretty long...what can I say...I was swept away on a tide of W/T lovin'

Author: Umgaynow
Title: A Day in the Life (Well, More Like an Afternoon, Really...Sunday afternoon to be Exact)
Rating: NC-17...you ask for smut you get smut
Warning: As I said it is rather long...and for anyone who isn't familiar with my work and is of a delicate nature...well, my smut tends to be pretty smutty...although I did make the scene a little shorter and less detailed when I realized how many pages I had...hope you all enjoy
Thanks for the great idea, Carleen!
****************************************************************

Tara cringed as she heard strains of Duran Duran floating in from the other room. Switching off her power screwdriver, she shook her head, gave her beautiful blues eyes a good healthy roll and strolled across the hall to harass her lover.

"Willow..." she tsked, "Are you watching I Love the '80s again?"

The redhead grinned sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders, "Oops, caught...sorry, baby...I'll turn it down...hehe," she chuckled awkwardly, "Bad girlfriend...that's me...yup...you're in the bedroom working hard...all with the assemblage...and I'm here being a big ole couch potato...well, maybe not an actual potato...cuz you know, I was working up until not too long ago...quite recently in fact...yup...that's me...work work work...so really, it's more of a tater tot kind of thing..."

Tara sighed deeply, putting her hand on her shapely hip.

"Did I mention how sexy you look in that tool belt?"

"I will never understand your morbid fascination with that show...you were an infant in the '80s for Gaia's sake..."

"Well..." the redhead hedged, "I am minoring in Anthropology...it's a cultural study kinda thing."

"Uh-huh...and when you watch Baywatch, you're boning up on Oceanography...for the life of me I will never be able to comprehend why someone as brilliant as yourself would actually want to watch that mindless crap."

"I can't help it, Tare...it's like a fantasy world..."

"I can't wait to hear this..."

"OK, think for a minute about the people who were stars in the '80s...DEVO, Cyndi Lauper, Pee-Wee Herman for chrissake...being a geek was actually fashonable...nobody knew how to dress...I would have fit right in...not exactly something I've ever been good at, ya know?"

Tara gave her lover a dubious stare, but couldn't stop a little smile from crossing her lips.

"Think about it, baby...you could be a total geek then and still be cool...it was all about attitude...about embracing your geek-infested roots...say you couldn't dance for shit...all you had to do was give your pathetic moves some wacky name and it could be the beginning of the next big craze."

The blonde raised both eyebrows and looked at Willow like she'd just grown another head.

"You want examples? OK then...let's see. Can you jump up and down, like this?" she got up off the sofa and demonstrated, "Now you're doing the Pogo!" Segueing into jerky movements, she asked, "Can you twitch and flail? Then you can do The Seizure!" The redhead then dropped to the floor and started rolling in one direction then the other, bumping into the furniture and even Tara's legs, "And even the biggest spaz in the world can do The Tumbleweed!"

Tara chuckled low in her throat, "You stopped off at the Espresso Pump on your way back from the store, didn't you?"

Willow blushed guiltily, "And what about the cultural impact of the nascent MTV? Gotta love those early quasi-softcore videos...where else can you see grown women in bikinis writhing in an inflatible kiddie pool filled with lime Jell-o and not get charged for pay-per-view...significant economical impact there don't you think?"

"Cultural impact...uh-huh...economics...right," she shook her head, crossing her arms over her abundant chest, "When you're through ogling Jersey-haired silicone depositories, come into the bedroom, OK?"

The redhead murmered, "Rut-Roh," under her breath, in a near perfect Scooby impersonation, as she watched her lover stalk out of the room. Hmmm, her ass looks really hot in those jeans. Willow switched off the TV and crossed the hall to their bedroom, stopping to lean seductively against the door jamb.

"Somebody's got plumber's butt," she sing-songed.

"It's the weight of the toolbelt," Tara huffed, "Live with it."

"Was I complaining? Did that sound like a complaint? Cuz I really don't recall saying it was a bad thing," she made her way over to where her lover knelt on the floor and ran her palm lovingly over a firm denim-clad cheek. "How's the project coming?"

Tara tightened down the final screw and set the powerdriver back in its charger, "All done now...without help even...and it only took me an hour and a half," she snarked, "Remind me not to buy anything else at that place...I swear if you bought a pen from them it would come in pieces...in a little box...with an allen wrench."

"I didn't even know that IKEA sold sex chairs."

"It's a massage chair, Will...ya know, for after a hard day's work, when we're all sore..." she deadpanned.

"Oh, I bet I could change your mind about that," the redhead purred, stroking the soft leather of the bench, "Whaddya say my sexy little handywoman...wanna take me...I mean it for a test drive?" she leaned down and nibbled maddeningly on her lover's ear, drawing an involuntary moan from the blonde.

"It's a nice thought, Will...but I think I'm a little tired to do much driving right now," she sighed in exhaustion, wiping the sweat from her brow with a bandana.

Trailing little kisses along Tara's neck, she turned her in her arms and whispered seductively in her ear, "How 'bout this? You have a nice hot shower...I'll make you a little snack...and then when you're feeling all clean and re-fueled...I'll take you for a ride." She breathed hotly onto the blonde's neck, her palms rubbing the blonde's rapidly hardening nipples through the taut material of her white V-neck.

"I don't know, Will...although that hot shower sounds like heaven...we'll see, OK?" she nipped at the smaller woman's lover lip, lovingly.

The redhead moved her hand to the place where all the seams of Tara's jeans met, exerting soft but steady pressure on her lover's center. "Did I mention I stopped off at Anya's on the way home?" she kissed the blonde teasingly, playing keep-away with her tongue.

"Really?" Tara brightened, taking hold of her lover's small ass and squeezing it gently, "What'd ya get?"

"I'm not saying..." she taunted, "But I was watching Talk Sex with Sue Johanson the other night and she gave it four briquets."

"Ooooh...maybe I will have that shower," she nibbled at the redhead's neck, "And I wouldn't mind some wine, cheese and fruit if the offer of room service is still open."

"It is indeed," Willow grinned seductively, "Anything you wish is yours...Now get out of those sexy but undeniably sweaty clothes and get your cute little butt into the shower, Missy!"

"Yes Ma'am!" Tara teased, wiggling said butt exaggeratedly as she made her way to the bathroom.


As the blonde lay on the bed in all her breathtaking naked splendor, munching on sliced apple and brie with crackers, Willoe retrieved her purchase from its office hiding place.

"Ta-dah!" she held the bag up for Tara to see.

"I love Anya and all, but couldn't she have come up with something a little more...I don't know...alluring...to name her sex shop?"

"You've got me there...The Magic Box does lack a certain subtlety," Willow concurred.

"And that logo!" she shook her head at the hot pink bag, "Look at that poor little Fairy Godmother...that is so not a safe place to keep a magic wand!"

"Well...maybe if it was a Hitachi Magic Wand?" Willow shrugged.

"I believe there's a copywrite issue involved there...but still an improvement...THAT is so not safe sex!" She shrugged her shoulders in an Anya-is-a-pervy-nutjob kind of way, "So, Will...what'd ya get me?"

"What do I get if I tell you?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out..." she teased, grabbing her girl around the waist and pulling her down to tickle her unmercifully, running her tongue up the side of her pale neck in that Vamp-y way that drove Willow crazy.

"Alright...alright...I give...quit...tickling...you're gonna make me pee!" she squealed, slapping playfully at her lover's tormenting hands.

Pulling the item from its bag with a flourish like a game-show hostess, she presented it to Tara, who pulled off the wrapping paper while the redhead explained. "Well, you know...you said you were getting tired of just playing with Ole Blue all the time, so..."

"She has served us well...she has earned a peaceful retirement," the blonde sighed in mock solemnity.

"Well?" Willow bounced impatiently on her knees, "Whaddya think?"

"The Aspara-gush?!?!"

"I know it seems a little weird at first...but Sue Johanson gave it a rave, if I may quote...Sex and asparagus generally go together like peanut butter and caviar...it's hard to go down on someone when you're wearing noseplugs..." Tara giggled, supressing an eeeeww, "But here's a succulent spear for that vixeny vegan in your life...no need for Hollandaise with this stocky stalk...she'll make her own sauce...guaranteed...this one's a winner!"

"Gotta love Sue," the blonde smiled seductively, "Besides, how can you argue with a review like that?"

"That's what I thought...plus vixeny vegan...that's you all over...OK, so really you're lacto/ovo, but...you know that's OK too...it's a valid choice...non-meateating-wise..." When she stopped for breath, Tara seized the opportunity to kiss her deeply, effectively stopping the babble...for a moment anyway. "Mmmmmmmm...TaraLips...OH! I forgot to tell you...the little asparagus-y leaves are all bumpy-like and stick out...so there's all this sexy textureyness for extra yummies!"

"You're all the yumminess I need, lover," Tara growled, flippiing her babbling beauty on her back and silencing her with a series of extensive, utterly thorough kisses.

"Oh my..." Willow gasped, when they came up for air, "I knew you liked asparagus, but...wow..."

"Anyway...I seem to recall someone saying they were going to change my mind about a certain piece of furniture..."

"Yes please," the redhead perked, arching to press her breast further into Tara's grasping hand.

"Well...what are you waiting for? You strap on the little green sprout there and I'll go get a towel to put on the bench...wouldn't want to get that expensive leather upholstery all wet, now would we?"

Little green sprout, huh? I'll show her...

Willow returned from giving their new toy a thorough and proper washing, to find Tara posed seductively on their newest piece of bedroom furniture, the back, the seat and and her legs angled in a most fortuitous position. Oh yeah! The redhead's mouth, among other things, instantly began to water.

"You're so beautiful, baby..." she half-whispered, awestruck.

Tara looked up into her lover's expressive green eyes, running her fingernails teasingly down her lightly muscled torso, a move that never failed to raise goosebumps...and promptly busted out in a fit of raucous laughter.

"What?" her partner queried, striking a saucy pose, hand on her hip and rolling her eyes at the seemingly hysterical blonde.

Of course, the redhead's actions only served to make the bright green phallus protruding from her loins bob up and down. So, try as she might to speak, Tara could only gasp for breath and laugh harder, tears spilling down her cheeks as she clutched at her sides.

"Tara!" That legendary redhead's temper was starting to flare, her foot was tapping faster and faster, which of course only made matters worse. "Fine! If you don't want to play..." she pouted.

That got the blonde's attention. "Willow...baby...no...I'm sorry...oooh...hehe...damn..." she wiped the tears from her face, "It's just...well...oh...ha...you know I love you, baby...please don't be mad...but...but..."

"But what?"

"But then I saw you and..." she tried hard to stifle a giggle, failing miserably.

"Yeah...very funny...I got this for you, ya know!"

Tara pulled her lover into her lap, stroking her fiery red mane, "Oh, baby...I'm so sorry...I really do appreciate it...I swear...please, don't think for a minute that I don't want to play," she took Willow's hand and placed it on damp golden curls, "See? That's all for you...always...it's just...well...I saw you standing there...with your hands on your hips and..."

"What?" She wasn't letting her off that easy, she needed to be persuaded out of this pout...multiply persuaded even.

"Well...the truth...all I could think of was HO HO HO..." the blonde explained, bursting into fresh laughter.

"Very funny," Willow crossed her arms over her pert breasts, but made no effort to move out of the soft lap. It was all part of the dance...mmmm.

With no small amount of difficulty, Tara collected herself, "Hey, at least I didn't make any comments about your niblets."

"Nope...and that's why you're still alive," the redhead turned away from her, and yet also leaned back into her soft breasts...and very hard nipples.

"Mmmmmm...I'm sorry, baby...you know my quirky sense of humor...I'm sure there must be some way I could make it up to you," she purred, nibbling at her favorite freckle.

"Maybe...let me hear it..."

"Um...I could wash your car..."

"Nope."

"Funny shaped pancakes?"

"You did that this morning."

"Hmmm...let me see...I could ride you at a gallop until your eyes roll back in your head and you cum so hard that you can't stop shaking for an hour?"

"Ding ding ding...ladies and well, ladies...we have a winner!"

"Ooooh..." Tara bounced up and down, "What did I win?"

"Switch places with me and I'll show you," Willow growled lasciviously, sliding off her lover's lap so that she could stand. The redhead slid back, resting against the inclined seat, Tara straddling her thighs and wiggling...smearing her wet heat all along the redhead's over-sensitized flesh.

"I love you, my little Horny Green Giant...I love that we can laugh like this..." the goddess smiled her crooked smile, making a little green heart beat faster.

"And I love you...my ho ho ho," she winked.

"Hey!" Willow felt a slap on her bum.

"By the way, baby...little giant is an oxymoro..."

It was hard to finish the sentence with Tara's tongue thrusting into her mouth. In no time at all the kiss escalated, becoming wild and voracious, the blonde's dripping center rocking against her thighs in rhythm with the cadence of tongue on questing tongue. Willow slid her hands from their position on her baby's hips to underneath her luscious ass, lifting her up, then guiding the asparagus tip (hehe) to her entrance. With a shudder and a sharp intake of breath, Tara slid down, taking the full length of it inside her...so wet that there was hardly any friction at all.

"Oh God...Willow...uuuunngghhhh...fuck me...please!"

"Like this?" the redhead teased, thrusting gently in short strokes, peppering Tara's full breasts with tender kisses.

"Aaaarrrrgggghhhh...nooooo..." she kissed her lover forcefully, commandingly, "Like this!"

Tara rose up slowly, until Willow was barely inside her at all, dropping down fast and hard, a shiver running up her spine.

"Oh God...Will...please baby...please!"

"Uuunnnnnggghhh..." the redhead groaned into a mouthful of breast, as her lover's full weight pressed hard against her clit. Hell yes!

Willow thrust up into her hot blonde with a somehow gentle brand of force and intensity, sucking and biting at the painfully erect nipples so temptingly displayed before her hungry eyes. Her moans of pleasure swallowed by the supple flesh, as Tara dug fingernail's hard into her redhead's shoulders...head thrown back...gasping for air and calling out to every deity she could remember.

"Oh God...oh yes...baby...so goood...so so good...harder baby...faster...yes...there...oh Willow...mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...I love you, baby...so mu...UUUUUNNNNNNNGGHHHHHHHH"

Tara came like it had been ripped out of her. A pleasure so complete it was almost painful, leaving her weak, boneless and completely undone, too spent to either move or speak as Willow continued to thrust into her, slowly and gently, kissing her plush lips with loving intensity.

Coming back to herself again, the blonde deepened the kiss, changed it materially, making it hungry and feral. She took her lover fully inside herself again, holding her there with the weight of her body and the strength of her purpose. Tara ground hard into the redhead's clit, moving her hips in a smooth figure eight and squeezing small pink nipples mercilessly between her fingers. In no time at all, Willow fell screaming over the edge, her lover's name on her lips, her eyes rolled so far back into her head that she could see her own brain and gasping for oxygen like her lungs had disappeared completely.

When she could think on a human level again, she found herself cradled in her lover's soft strong arms, pillowed against her lush breasts, trembling like a small frightened animal. Her green accessory had been removed without her even noticing.

"Welcome back," Tara grinned, kissing the tip of her nose.

"Uh...hi...who are you?" the redhead teased.

"Very funny, Rosenberg," the blue-eyed beauty kissed her sweetly, too exhausted to do much else, "God, I love you..."

"Me too darlin'...with all my heart...all my soul..." Willow barely whispered, still short on air.

"Now isn't that convenient," she teased, a half-smile on her full lips.

"So...uh...Tare?"

"Uh-huh, baby?" she swept damp wet hair back off her lover's forehead.

"Tell me, madam...how did you enjoy your asparagus?"

"Oh, it was lovely...very fresh...or was that you?" she teased, nibbling at a still jumping pulse point.

"Mmmmm...that's nice...but I have one more question..."

"If you weren't planning on using this massage chair for other purposes...why do we all of a sudden own ultra-thick towels that just happen to match the upholstery, hmmm?"

Tara blushed and giggled, "Busted..."


THE END

Hope you all enjoyed it.............Sandi

ohmygodohmygodohmygod............When I saw tool belt well .........I will tell you one on one ok baby. you have made me speech less as always.