I've been struck with a lot of indecisiveness as of late. I thought about posting this update in two parts, but then at the last minute thought I'd wait and do it all at once. Then I thought about doing it in three parts. Lots of thought going on there. Anyway, I think I'll be doing this in three parts. They won't be ultra long or anything, but they won't be extremely short either. Sort of a medium size maybe? So that's that.
One Lonely Reply:faithy – Hmm… I’m not sure which song. It was whichever they were playing on the radio during June and July. Yes, the radio tends to beat things into the ground. One of the many reasons I don’t listen to it. This summer was the first time I’d listened in ages, and it drove me crazy. But the company wouldn’t let us listen to CDs. I snuck a few in on some days, but most of the time I was just SOL. You’ll have that though. I hope you check out those two bands you hadn’t heard of. All three are pretty good. And I have a small update, so you don’t have to wait anymore.
Title: Songs For A Mix Tape
Author: Sarah (unionjill30)
Email: unionjill_30@yahoo.comRating: PG - PG13ish?
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters from ME, and really I don’t own the other characters so much either. Though Kim would like to think she owns me. I’ve been informed that I don’t have to be Kim’s bitch, I just choose to be. Go figure.
Feedback: Yes please
Track ListTrack 22: Glory of Love (From “Karate Kid 2”) by A New Found GloryPart AAfter the remaining color was filled in on Willow’s back, she listened while the tattoo artist explained proper care and cleansing before paying the man so she and Jennifer could be on their way. It hurt a little sitting in the car, and it took a little adjusting so no contact was made with Willow’s lower back and the passenger seat.
“I knew things would work out with Tara,” Jennifer said while the redhead fidgeted in her seat.
Willow, finally satisfied that she’d found a comfortable position, stopped moving and looked over to her friend at the wheel. “Nothing’s been worked out yet,” she pointed out.
“But she called,” the brunette countered. “And she sounded all concerned. That’s a good sign.”
“What did you two talk about?” Willow asked hesitantly. She knew Jennifer and knew her friend’s potential for weird conversation. She hoped Tara didn’t get a taste of that considering the blonde didn’t know Jennifer. Then again, Tara was friends with Kim, one of the oddest people Willow had ever met, so maybe there wasn’t much to worry about.
“It was mostly me talking,” Jennifer explained. “I just told her about the tattoo and that we were goofing off tonight. Then she asked me if I’d been drinking.” The brunette’s face was one of disbelief as she glanced at her friend. “Do I seem like I’ve been drinking? I felt like total normal-girl tonight.”
Willow laughed. “Honey, you always seem like you’ve been drinking. It’s part of your charm.” She added a conspiratorial wink, which earned a smile from Jennifer.
It only took a short while to reach Willow’s grandparents’ house. Jennifer pulled up to the curb to drop the redhead off before going back to her hotel room. “The screening’s tomorrow at one,” she reminded. “What time are you going to be there?”
Willow leaned into the open door after getting out of the car. “I don’t know. Noon?”
“Sounds good. Meet me outside,” Jennifer said then smiled. “Now go call Tara.”
Willow smiled as well. “See you then,” she said as she shut the door and turned toward the front door of her grandparents’ house. When she reached the door and turned the knob, Jennifer sped off down the street.
All the lights inside were off, and it seemed as if everyone was in bed. Willow crept through the halls and quietly closed the door of the room she was staying in before flicking on the light. She started to change out of her clothes when she noticed a piece of paper on her bed. Picking it up, she saw it was a note from her father: “
Willow, Call Tara. Love, Dad.”
The redhead grinned and placed the note on the bedside table before going to her suitcase in search of pajamas. She was thankful for the loose fitting pants and short tank top she’d packed since they wouldn’t come in contact with her lower back. After getting completely ready for bed and applying ointment to the new tattoo, she lay down on her stomach across the mattress and pulled out her phone for the big call.
After talking to Willow, Tara curled up on her bed with the phone within reach waiting for the redhead to call back. Her inquisitive kitten joined in the wait, rolled on her back with her white belly exposed. What had started as a gentle rubbing of the kitten’s tummy soon turned into war on Tara’s fingers. It went on for a bit with front paws grasping a hand and back paws kicking at it senselessly while tiny, yet slightly sharp, teeth gnawed on fingers. Tara was in the middle of teasing the little cat, coming at her with both hands from different directions to make her choose which to attack, when the phone finally rang. As the kitten attacked her right hand, Tara attacked the phone with her left. She didn’t have to look to know who was calling.
“Hey,” the blonde spoke softly into the phone.
“Hey,” Willow’s voice replied on the other end just as softly.
Both sat silently for a moment, unsure of what to say, before they began to speak at the same time causing nervous giggles from each.
“You first,” Willow offered.
“No, it’s okay. You can go first,” Tara insisted.
“No, go ahead. It’s not important.”
“Okay,” the blonde gave in. “How’s, um, how’s the tattoo?”
“Right now? Kind of goopy,” Willow replied with a laugh.
“Um, goopy?” Tara questioned. She’d expected something like ‘it hurts’ or ‘it’s not too bad’ but ‘goopy’ sort of threw her.
“Ointment,” Willow explained. “I’m being responsible-girl and gave it a nice cleansing and put on some ointment.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah. I don’t want it to get all gross and stuff,” Willow agreed.
“I still don’t know what it’s of,” Tara pointed out as she continued her fight with the cat. She knew this wasn’t the conversation they needed to be having, but small talk was a way to build up to other things.
“Oh! My bad,” Willow said a little guiltily. She unconsciously went to touch the place on her back, but stopped her hand before it got there. “It’s pretty simple. One big dark blue star with a little lighter blue star to the left and right.”
“That sounds cute,” the blonde said as she tried to picture it. “Like the blue star on Jeremy’s forearm?”
“Sort of, but darker. More like navy,” the redhead explained. “I forgot he had that.”
Tara let out a small yelp as the kitten’s claws pierced the skin of her wrist.
“You okay?” Willow asked, worried at Tara’s outcry.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” the blond said as she tried to pry claws out of the sleeve of her shirt. The kitten was stuck. She apparently hadn’t learned the finer points of claw retraction yet. “Your darling little black and white fuzz ball thinks I’m a scratching post.”
“Aww, how is she?” Though they hadn’t had her for long, Willow missed the cat she’d gotten Tara.
“She’s taken the phrase ‘curious as a kitten’ about as far as she can. She gets into everything,” Tara said, laughing as the now free kitten went back to finger chewing. “But I think she may have picked out a name for herself by getting into things.”
“Really?” Willow’s own curiosity was piqued. They’d come up with what seemed like a thousand names, but nothing seemed to fit the kitty. “How’d she do that?”
“It’s a very cute story, except for the fact that I now have to buy a new state map,” Tara said.
“A new map?”
“Yep, new map,” the blonde confirmed. “See, I came home the other day from work to find my living room covered in little tiny shreds of paper. The culprit?”
“The cat,” Willow interrupted, filling in the answer.
“The cat,” Tara agreed. “I’d left it open across the coffee table after planning the best way to go for next weekend’s show. Bad move. From about Salinas down is still intact. The rest was obliterated.”
Willow had to cover her mouth to muffle her gasp, though she smiled imagining the little kitten’s war with a map. “So how does that give her a name?” she asked, not able to put any pieces together.
“I’m getting to that,” Tara chided gently. Willow seemed to never have the patience to make it through an entire story silently.
“Sorry,” Willow apologized and resolved herself to keep her mouth shut.
“So her name?” Tara went on. “I found her curled up beside the couch surrounded by all those pieces of paper, and one strip was laid right across her like a little name tag.”
“What’d it say? Oops.” Willow clamped a hand over her mouth after the outburst. She couldn’t keep herself from asking.
“It said ‘Cali.’” Tara let out a small laugh at the redhead’s continued impatience. “Actually, Cali and a little piece of an ‘f,’ but I figured since it wasn’t a full letter it didn’t matter,” she amended.
“Aww, Cali’s cute. I like it.”
“I thought you would,” Tara said as she pulled her hand from the kitten’s mouth and rubbed the fur behind her ears.
“Man, you leave for a few days and you really miss things.” Willow trailed off at the end as she recognized the double meaning of her words.
Tara caught it too, and silence claimed them. Finally the blonde took it as a turning point in their conversation and whispered, “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” Willow replied softly.
“There’s so much…” Tara stopped to swallow the lump that tried to form in her throat. “So much I need to say, to tell you, but I don’t even know where to start.”
In the seriousness of the moment, Willow found patience to not say anything, knowing Tara needed her to just listen for a moment.
“You need to know things,” the blonde continued. “Things I’m not sure I even know how to say.” She lost her steam at that point and didn’t know how to go on.
Willow used it as an opportunity to pick up. “There’s stuff I need to say too, and before you tell me what you need to, I have to let you know because no matter what you have to say, it doesn’t change what I have to say.”
The redhead spoke quickly in one big sentence which caused Tara to smile a little. “Okay,” she said quietly.
Willow took a deep breath and dove right into the speech she’d been trying to formulate all week. “You say I don’t know things about you, which is true. The same could be said that there’s stuff you don’t know about me either. Regardless of all that, I’d like to think I’ve spent enough time with and paid enough attention to you to realize that all those things I don’t know yet could never be so bad as to change how I’ve come to feel about you.” She had to stop for air, but quickly picked back up. “I told you I love you. That’s how I feel.”
Tara listened to the words and felt her cheeks dampen with tears.
“I know what you did tell me. The things that hurt you so much to say,” Willow went on. “They’re not inconsequential, but, Tara, when it comes to how I see you and how I feel about you, they are. Even if... even if you don’t feel the same, I needed to say that because I think you deserve to know.” She had to stop because her throat clenched.
The honest emotion in Willow’s words was nearly palpable, and even though she knew her words would come out broken, Tara went ahead with what she felt she needed to say. “I didn’t want to say this over the phone, but I can’t not say it,” she choked out.
Willow’s chest tightened, expecting the best and the worst at the same time from Tara’s words.
“I know you love me,” she continued. “I’m not sure why I ever doubted you. Maybe because I doubted myself.” The kitten had long since abandoned her hand, and she used the back of it to hastily wipe at her wet cheeks. “But, Will. Honey, I do feel the same way.” She paused to compose herself, wanting the next words she spoke to be completely clear. After a calming breath she finally said what she’d only recently let herself believe. “I love you too.”
On the other end, Willow’s heart felt like it stopped for a second. “You… You love me too?” she whispered disbelievingly.
“I do,” Tara confirmed. “I’m very much in love with you.”
Willow covered her mouth to quiet the happy sob that escaped her throat. “Baby, you have no idea how much that means to hear you say that. I wish you were here right now.”
“I wish I was there too, Will.”
Neither said anything for a moment as they both quietly let their tears subside. The silence was comfortable, and words weren’t needed to fill it.
“This is all so surreal,” Willow eventually murmured.
“What?” Tara asked softly.
“You. Me. Happy and in love,” the redhead explained dreamily. “I almost can’t believe it.”
“You can believe it,” Tara said with a content smile. “It’s real.”
Willow let out a happy sigh. “I want to be back home with you right now.”
“Me too, Sweetie,” Tara agreed. “I can’t wait for you to get back. Plus, I still have things to talk about, and I want to do it in person.” She couldn’t wait until the redhead’s flight came in on Monday. “Only a few more days ‘til we see each other though.”
Tara’s words sort of jarred the redhead’s brain, and everything sort of halted in Willow’s head as she remembered a vital piece of information she needed to fill the blonde in on. “I, um… I might not be back that soon,” she said hesitantly.
Tara’s mind stopped too. “Huh?” was all she managed.
“I sorta might have, uh, called the airline this morning.” The redhead was internally slapping herself for her stupidity.
Tara panicked and thought of the worst. “You’re coming back... right?”
“Oh god yes, Baby. Of course I’m coming back,” Willow was quick to reassure. “I just won’t be there on Monday.”
“When are you going to be here?” Tara asked. She was only felt slightly reassured that Willow was in fact coming back to Sunnydale.
“I think Wednesday maybe. I’m not sure,” the redhead explained. “I’ve never done it before and we hadn’t talked for a while so I decided to take a little extra time and drive back.”
“By yourself?” Tara didn’t like that idea at all.
Willow smiled at her girlfriend’s worry. “Yes, Baby, by myself.”
“But by yourself? As in alone and no one with you?”
“By definition, yes. Alone and no one with me,” Willow said. She then added, “Like you did two years ago and Kim did a little later.”
“Well, yeah, but…” Tara knew Willow had her. She couldn’t really argue. Still, it was all so very anticlimactic considering the conversation they’d just had, and it all just sort of… “That just sucks,” she muttered.
“I know,” Willow agreed. “But it’s only a few more days. And just think. It’ll make the snuggles when I get back that much better.” She knew Tara couldn’t see the cute little grin on her face, but she couldn’t stop it from popping up.
“I guess,” Tara whined a little, but she didn’t want to act too childish. “Kim and I are working in the store all next week anyway, so I suppose I’ll have a distraction.”
“Ooh, yeah. I forgot Maureen’s closing up Saturday. That’s exciting.” Willow really felt bad and wished she could reverse things, but she’d already changed her plans so much as it was. She was glad Tara was okay with the extra days though.
“Yeah, it is,” Tara agreed. She heard the redhead yawn on the other end. “You should get to bed. It’s really late there.”
Willow looked at the clock by her bed. “It is,” she agreed. “Two-eleven. That means eleven-eleven there. Make a wish.”
“I don’t need to,” Tara replied softly. “I already got my wish.”
“And what would that be?” Willow pried gently.
“Can’t tell.” Tara giggled.
“But it if it already came true, you can tell,” the redhead reasoned.
“Nuh uh, still can’t tell.”
“Okay, I’ll let you keep it a secret,” Willow gave in. “Can I call you Sunday night when we get back to my parents’?”
“You can call me any time,” Tara said. “I’ll be sitting here waiting just like those girls on the 900 lines.” It was hard to keep from laughing. It felt good to joke with Willow again. “And I won’t even charge you for the call.”
Willow smiled, glad to hear Tara’s playful side again. “No charge and I get to talk to you? That’s almost too good a deal to pass up.” She yawned again.
“I hope you don’t pass it up,” the blonde said. “Now go to sleep, and dream good things.”
“If I dream of you it’s guaranteed to be good.”
“Then I’ll try to pop in at some time,” Tara promised.
“Yay,” Willow replied sleepily. “Night. Love you.”
“Night. Love you too.”
As Tara hung up the phone she smiled at how good it felt to say those words to Willow. She looked down at the kitten who had fallen asleep next to her. When she reached over to pet the kitten’s head, green eyes blinked open and looked up. “Well, Cali, that’s one to mark off the list. Let’s go plan all the other stuff I have to tell your mommy.” Tara stood and stretched and the cat did the same. As they walked out of the bedroom, Tara was secretly glad for the extra time Willow had given her to plan for their next big conversation.
After Willow hung up, she couldn’t stop the girlish squeal that escaped her lips. She plugged her phone in to charge and fell asleep with a sing-song voice in her head repeating over and over again ‘Tara’s in love with me. Tara’s in love with me.’
Despair could ravage you if you turn your head around to look down the path that's lead you here, cause what can you change?
I believe in miracles. It's all I believe in anymore.
by AmbeRocks » Thu Dec 25, 2003 10:58 am 
for all the previous reason that were mentionned. but i can't wait for willow to be back home and call her back, that should be interesting!!
unionjill 
,
I love this fic! 
Yes, they got ahold of each other. 
is getting a tatoo. Wonder what 
will think of it. 
Wonder what it is of? 
Can't wait to 
more. Update soon, please? 
Sorry. 
Oh... wait... there is a chance that you're not referring to me. Hmmm... 
Love sammi xx 
