Episode 7.1 - "Bobby" : A Spoof

[AlteaThree]

Hey! You promised this update would be not funny and not entertaining! But it was funny and entertaining! I want my money back!!!!!!!!









(Really,though, this is getting to a lot better than the actual show...much much much much better!)

[snippygal]

BoredNow99 - Well, you English are so polite, I thought the rest of the world could learn a thing or two. And really - who better to teach than PAX TV?



Tulipp - Tears, Tulipp. You brought tears to my eyes. Actually, I think that was just dust from finally turning the heat on in the house. But I had tears, nonetheless. I mean - with the rhyming and the flattery (you really prefer “Bobby” over a certain drug that EVERYONE SHOULD SAY NO TO, by the way? Gosh. I’m touched. Tell all your friends. I’ll give them a free sample of the next episode.) Seriously - have I reached Riley status in your eyes? *Shrugs shoulders* I tryly.



MellindraX - So, no Xander as a saint with a heart of gold and easy wit. Check. I think we’re safe with that one. Even if God herself came to me in a dream and told me to redeem Xander, it won’t happen. Even if she promises me the best power suits and the reasons to wear them. It won’t happen. Xander’s a putz. All there is to it. So yay - you won’t have to hate me!



AlteaThree - ”Funny”? “Entertaining”? What fic are you reading? Have you even read moominmamma's dissection of this? This is serious stuff. Heavy reading. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? Even I laugh at myself. More than anyone. It’s sad really.



Sorry, kids. No exchanges or refunds. No extended warranties. I will not be held responsible if you happen to laugh at something you might find fairly humorous. Not my problem. I’m trying to make art. *Storms off to find pretentious friends to match pretentious personality.*



Snipp

---------------------------------------

"Oh, stewardess, I speak jive." - Barbara Billingsley

[snippygal]

Title: Season 7

Author: snippygal

Rating: Regular font - PAX - PG/ Italics - Kitten-vision - R

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are property of Joss Whedon, ME, and Fox. The ideas expressed in this story are mine -- you can tell cuz they’re funny and lesbians don’t die.

Spoilers: Joss Whedon .. oh, you mean, ha ha. Not those kind of spoilers. Boy is my face red. Yes - Season 7 spoilers, of the fake kind.



VERY SPECIAL NOTE: Episode 19 will be a choose your own adventure type of deal. Actually, it's not that at all. But I got you really interested, didn't I? Wait! Don't go. I'm getting to the point. Okay, so I need your help. The next episode depends on you. Yes - YOU! Please tell me how much you love Willow and Tara, or what makes them special to you or whatever. Anything you want to say about our girls. Post it or email it to me. This is very important. You will be rewarded. Well, actually, you ALL won't be rewarded. But in the end, you'll still have this story to read, and really, isn't literacy its own reward?





“BUFFY” Episode 7.18 - “Tara Gets a Haircut”



LAST TIME:



"I've been thinking.  About you getting killed off.  There's obviously something very bad going on.  And there's only one way to fix it."



"What did you have in mind?" Tara asks, hoping it's sex.



"I'm going to join the circus."



"What?"



"I found a gypsy and she took my magical powers in exchange for beginner's talent on the trapeze."

--------------------------

“Xander, you came in here and racked up 48 hours of lovin’ with one of my best girls.”



Angel smiles at the her compliment. Dawn continues.



“And according to this bill, you’ve partaken in our other luxuries - Crystal Meth, X, 12 Cuban cigars and 8 bottles of champagne. Oh, and you’ll have to pay for the torn costume. That brings your total to --- $18,000.”



“What?! I can’t pay that!”



“Xander! You don’t play if you can’t pay. That’s our policy.”



She points to a sign by the bedroom door stating just that.



“But I can’t pay!”



“Well then you’ll just have to work if off.”

--------------------------

Barry looks at Spike slaps him on the back. “I think you got it, Will. I really think you got it.”



Spike grins up at him. “So I’m ready?”



“Not just yet. There’s still one more thing we have to do,” he says with elevator eyes.

--------------------------

Dawn slowly opens the door to Willow and Tara’s room. He eyes widen at the sight of the two girls kissing in bed. She lets a little ‘eep’ slip out. Willow and Tara turn towards the door to see the teenager backing out into the hall and leaning up against the wall. She slides down to her knees, then falls into a fetal position. She begins sucking her thumb and mumbling incoherencies.

--------------------------



AND NOW:



Buffy walks into the hallway to find Dawn crouched on the floor, kind of freaking out.



“Dawn, please tell me what trauma has occurred just now,” Buffy pleads with her sister, concern filling her voice. Dawn points to Willow and Tara’s room. They walk out into the hall, now fully dressed. Buffy looks up at her friends.



“Friends, what just happened?”



“Um ...,” Willow begins. “See ... Dawn ... .kind of walked in on us.”



“Walked in on you?”



Tara breaks in. “She saw us kissing.”



“I am afraid I don’t understand.”



“We were kissing, Buffy,” Willow explains. “The way only a married man and his wife should kiss.”



Buffy hugs Dawn close to her, whispering soothing sisterly words. She looks back up.



“I still don’t understand. Why would you two do that? You are both girls.”



Willow and Tara look down at their feet sheepishly. Buffy’s eyes go wide.



“Oh. Oh! You’re those kind of people. I’ve heard about your kind. Deviants.”



Dawn closes her eyes tightly and rocks, chanting the 23rd Psalm. Buffy stands up and looks at Willow and Tara disapprovingly.



“Stupid little sister,” she thinks to herself. “After I went to all that trouble of setting up the video camera.”



“We’ll go,” Willow mutters, taking Tara’s hand and leading her downstairs.



Outside, Willow turns to Tara and smiles. “So, you’re trailer or mine?”



“Whichever is closest,” Tara returns with a smile of her own. As the two girls make their way to finish what they had started, Dawn slides down a rope from her bedroom window to the ground. A figure in the attic window with 70’s hair rocks slowly in a chair.



--------------------------

The next morning at Sunnydale High ...



Buffy sits at her desk looking very busy. Principal Johnson enters with Big Glasses Girl. “Miss Summers,” he addresses.



“Yes, Principal Johnson. How may I help you, sir?”



“Did you advice this girl to wear her glasses?”



“Yes, sir. To better see the blackboard. It will assist in her learning process.”



“Well, that’s all well and good, Miss Summers, but she has been ridiculed all day by her fellow classmates.”



“Oh, the fucking drama! Can I just kill something already?” Buffy thinks.



“Those classmates, of course, have all been suspended for a week, as we have a zero tolerance policy for teasing here.”



“Oh course,” Buffy agrees.



“However ...” Principal Johnson glances at Big Glasses Girl. “You can take those off, now. Your parents are out front waiting to take you for contacts.”



Big Glasses Girl’s face lights up as she removes the large specs and sprints out of Buffy’s office.



“However,” Principal Johnson continues, “I am not so sure making you head counselor was such a great idea.”



Buffy hangs her head in shame.



“But I don’t want you to leave. I think I just might have the right position for you.”



--------------------------



Back at the Den of Sin ...



Dawn paces in front of a group of gay vampires. They all stand in a line, awaiting instructions. The Madam has her vixen on, wearing tight leather and carrying a small whip.



“Now,” she begins, “as you all know, our clientele has gone down.”



A few of the vamps snicker at the pun. Dawn snaps her head in their direction and they quickly pipe down and stand at attention. She continues.



“This is serious stuff, boys. We need to get things up around here.”



They same vamps let out another set of giggles. Dawn gets in their faces.



“Is something funny?”



They quiet down again and shake their heads.



“Not everything is about sex, you know.”



The vamps look at her, confused. She rolls her eyes and continues pacing, hands behind her back.



“I want you to go out and find boys.”



They all look at each other, excited and nearly squealing with delight.



“Feed on them -- but no killing! Dead people don’t pay for services. I just want them weak enough to give in.”



She waves her hand at them, indicating their dismissal. They all file out in different groups. Their conversation about the different shades of black they have coordinated into their wardrobe dies out as they leave. Dawn is left standing in front of Xander.



“Uh, Dawnster? What exactly do you want me to do?”



Dawn smiles sweetly at him. “Put on your game face.”



Xander things for a moment, then scrunches up his face and bares his flat teeth. He sounds a pathetic little growl. Dawn slaps him.



“Ow!”



“That’s not your game face, dumb ass!”



“I don’t have a game face! I’m a lowly carpenter! If you need me to sing ‘Close To You’, I can probably get that done. But I’m not much with the intimidation.”



Dawn slaps him again.



“Ow!”



Xander shields his face while she takes the whip to him. After several lashes, he finally comes out from under his hands to reveal a bumpy forehead and fangs. This time he lets out a real growl.



“There’s my boy,” Dawn beams proudly.



Xander looks at her in shock. “Holy crap! I’m a vampire!”



“Uh huh. Look, I have a very special assignment for you, Xander.”



--------------------------



Willow flies through the air with grace and ease. She wear a tight little number with sparkles that leaves little to the imagination. She grabs the swinging bar, flips herself around on it, swings toward another bar with a guy in a tight leotard that flatters his package (ew, I know, but I have to be accurate). She catches his hands, then flings herself back to her own bar, does a few flips and lands in the net several feet below. The tight leotard guy swings above her spouting words of encouragement and congratulations. She dismounts from the net, and as her feet hit the floor, she notices a particular girl walking towards her. She wears black boots under black leather pants. A tight, white t-shirt is covered by a black leather jacket. Full, round lips are painted bright red. Mirrored sunglasses hide her blue eyes. And the hair ---



Willow wrinkles her forehead. “Did she pull her hair back?”



She walks closer. Willow can now see --- Tara has shaved her head.



“Uh, Tare -- uh --,” Willow is rendered speechless, both by shock and high arousal.



“Looks like Tara’s gone all large with the butch,” Willow thinks. “And me likey!”



Tara takes Willow’s hands in hers. "Hey, you,” she smiles. “That was amazing. You were really great up there.”



“Um, thanks. Um --”



“My hair --”



“Your hair.”



“They won’t tell me exactly the direction of my character, but they said they wanted me to shave my head. Guess I’m gonna go all rebellious. Ya know - lesbian and all.”



“Right,” Willow agrees, highly enjoying the notion of Tara as a bad girl.



“So,” Tara raises her eyebrows. “You wanna go back to your tent and rebel against some social conventions?”



Willow grins like a little kid and leads the way.



--------------------------



Buffy stands in the gymnasium in front of a group of teenagers. She has just finished a very long lecture about the dangers of physical violence. A boy raises his hand and she acknowledges him.



“So, we’re not gonna play dodge ball?”



“Exactly,” Buffy replies. “Dodge ball is precisely the kind of mind-altering version of warfare that we would like to keep out of our American high schools. So from now on, we’re playing badminton. So everyone go pick out your racket and birdie and have lots and lots of safe fun.”



Figuring the kids could all handle themselves without her supervision, Buffy heads off to the locker room. Once inside, she stands in front of the full-length mirror and checks out her somewhat dumpy form. Her oversized sweats hang over the tops of her sneakers. The sweatshirt hides any signs of her boobs. Her hair is strung through a lazy ponytail. There’s not a stitch of makeup to be found on her face. She certainly looks different than she used to. And for some reason, she sort of likes it.



“Buffy.”



A deep voice shakes her out of her self-gazing. She turns to see --



“Spike.”



He steps into the light. He looks different, too. His hair is a comfortable shade of brown. He wears a nice 3-piece suit with an open collar. He stands with a calm kind of confidence.



“What are you doing here?” Buffy asks. “This is a naked place. And what’s with your hair? And your clothes?”



Spike doesn’t speak. He just slinks closer to her, then begins to sing.



“I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May.” He sidles up next to her, doing a little Temptations dance move with it. “I guess you’d say, what can make me feel this way? My girl. Talkin’ ‘bout my girl ...”



“My God. Spike --”



“Please. Call me Will.”



“Did you --- do you ---”



“Yes. I went to Detroit to find Barry Gordy. He helped me.”



Buffy gets it, the sharp little tack. “Oh, my God. You’ve got soul.”

--------------------------



Giles sits on the floor, stacks and stacks of books and magazines surround him. He rocks himself, his knees pulled up to his chin. As it turns out, this librarian gig is not as easy has he had originally thought. He's beginning to hear voices and see things. He might quite possibly be going mad.



“I never pegged you for a father figure.”



Giles’ head perks up at the voice. Circling around him is Professor Walsh. He follows her with his eyes, afraid. “And I was right. You’re not. You’re no one’s father figure.”



Suddenly, she morphs into Principal Snyder. “Sniffling little brats. And those girls wearing the tight clothes. Just begging you to touch them. Ah! I love the smell of chalkboard dust in the morning, don’t you?”



Snyder then morphs into Quentin Travers.



“You know, Rupert, you’re only human. There are hundreds of documented cases like this in the Watchers’ Diaries. We all know the truth about you.”



Quentin morphs into Wesley - the suit and glasses and too-much-hair-gel Wesley. “Mr. Giles, we’ve all been there. Even me. If you give in, no one will judge you.”



Wesley morphs into Ethan Rayne. Giles still remains silent on the floor.



“Oh, Ripper. When are you going to see it? Your purpose in all of this?”



“What -- what is my purpose?”



Ethan crouches down to eye-level with Giles. He stares long and hard until finally he says:



“From between you, it deflowers.”



--------------------------

END of 7.18

"Oh, stewardess, I speak jive." - Barbara Billingsley

[mollyig]

Dawn mustering her troops was fun. Is it wrong that I sniggered while reading her intimidation of the lowly carpenter?



Tara's new image - You wanna go back to your tent and rebel against some social conventions



I read the final sentence about 5 minutes ago and am still laughing.



Thank you so much for this.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[BoredNow99]

Oh Snipp, what a wonderfully odd yet charming brain you have. I've been a sickly child this week (for sickly read skiving off work) and Bobby is just the right sort of medicine I was after.



Loved Tara's new image, Buffy's "You've got soul" line, and of course that final peach of a sentence. Hee.



So, now, on to this rather intriguing information gathering exercise for episode 19.



Hmm. Well in terms of Willow, I have a thing for her flippy hair (see avatar). It's just so lovely and tuggable and cute. Sigh. And of course, her quirkiness, her babbling, that little questioning smile she does where her eyebrows raise and she looks kinda concerned.



And Tara. Obviously the half-smile. But also the breathy way she says certain things, her patience and compassion, the way her cheeky humour occasionally peeks through.



That do ya?

Bite me, Harris

[Tulipp]

Snipp, my goodness. "Isn't literacy its own reward?" you ask, and "isn't Snipp the ideal spokesperson for my dissertation?" I think.



I shrieked so loudly at this line

Quote:

---

Buffy gets it, the sharp little tack. “Oh, my God. You’ve got soul.”

---

that I scared both my cats and spilled my coffee. Of course! Hilarious, that was. And Buffy set up a video camera and then got changed into a gym teacher....it's too much! But not enough! But too much!



All I can say is you've still got it, Snipp.



Okay, you asked a question: how much do I love Willow and Tara? And the answer is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much. What I love about Tara is that she has poise in spite of her occasional lack of self-confidence; she has some deep kernel of strength that lets her follow her own path even when it makes her look like a freak. And what I love about Willow is that she has this childlike enthusiasm that unites her brainy parts and her sexy parts. Hmm.



But together....I'm to quote something Sister Bertrille said elsewhere, that Willow and Tara have a "goofy sexuality." I think that's it.



Anyway, I could go on all day, but I won't, but I'll probably read this again as soon as I get to work. So funny.

"And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!" -- Willow in "Doppelgangland

[The Big I T]

Geez snipp...you've got Tulipp shrieking...loudly. And that makes me want to shriek...even loudlier. You HAVE got the Power, snipp. Oh yes you do.



Too many great parts in this chapter...Willow and Tara going off to rebel against social conventions together...Buffy as baggy-clothed and makeup-deprived gym teacher...Dawn literally whipping Xander into vampy shape...hidden cameras...Spike with soul...and the ominous "From beneath you it deflowers"...



Crack. Me. Up. Snipp. And yes, literacy is its own reward. As is "Bobby". And there may be some kind of connection in there. But what is it?



As for your question(s)...I'm going to have to go away for a bit and think about that. Try to narrow it down some. Try not to get too philosophical. Or too hung up on obvious things. Such as how swoony I get when Tara ducks her head and then shyly peeks out from behind her hair as it cascades forward along her face. Or the way Tara's precocious ears occasionally poke out from her golden flowing tresses. Or the way Tara's long lovely fingers gracefully recapture the occasional straying locks, tucking them delicately into that safe and desirable place behind her ear...(Hint: I miss Tara's hair, snipp.)



Okay...wait a second. I think I can make this relatively succinct. I love Willow and Tara, together, because that's where they belong. They *are* magic, in that transcendent, mystical, unexplainable sense. And they *fit* each other so very, very well -- illustrated perfectly by the handholding that they constantly do -- but maybe most keenly expressed in that scene in Hush, and then again in The Gift. Palm to palm and fingers entwined, theirs is a powerful connection. *They* are a powerful connection. Meant to be.



On their own, they are each extraordinary. There's Willow, so enthusiastic and eager in everything she does -- to learn and know and help. But above all, just to love. Doesn't matter how many times or how horribly she is hurt by others, she just keeps on loving them back. It's who she is. It's what she does. The only thing more immense than Willow's capacity for knowledge is her capacity to love. Oh, and then there's that cute little thing she's always doing with her tongue.



Then there's Tara. For all her shy and quiet ways, she has enormous strength of character and a remarkable sense of self. She sees things more *deeply* than most others do. Empathy, compassion, understanding, natural wisdom. All those have been used to describe her qualities and they are certainly all true. But, like Willow, she also has an enormous capacity to love; and in doing so, she accepts people for who and what they are, as well as for who and what they aren't. No judgments. Just love. And acceptance. Oh, and of course, there's her lopsided smile and the way she bites her bottom lip when she's deep in thought or concerned about something.



And now, before this turns into my own little dissertation -- and God knows I've only just begun to scratch the surface of why I love these girls so much -- I'll just mention one other thing about the *rightness* of Willow and Tara together. Both of them have this limitless, selfless love quality going for them. They both offer and give love because it's who they are -- not because they expect anything in return. But the fact that they love each other is some kind of karmically wonderful blessing -- that they get to have that kind of love returned to them in kind, and from each other.

********



”How ‘bout them Broncos …” – some guy, saying something useful, in The Initiative

[MellindraX]

that was great!



First off, total agreement with the "ew" on the tight leotards (ick).

Then, you totally have the gym teacher thing pegged. from the description, she sounds exactly like my gym teacher. And of course the "no dodgeball, it promotes violence" thing. Am i the only one besides my friend who thinks that that is all crap???



Anyway, that was a beautiful update!

More, more I say!!!

"This is normal tenn stuff. You join chat rooms, you write poetry, you post dooky hours of fanfic... It's all normal, right?" -Willow, "Help"

[AlteaThree]

"From beneath you it deflowers" I love that line! But said about Giles, it's just....ewwwwwwww...which makes it more funny...and it's funny to talk about a guys package, because the real power spot is a guys eyes. Um, yes....

"You've got soul" Brilliant play on words!

"WHichever is closer" I love how they can love each other here and not get all evil!!!!!

But what o what are you doing to poor Tara??? Are there some sorts of all-out fights between Willow and Buffy over Tara? And Buffy and Xander over Angel? And Tara and Xander over Willow? coming up?????Are Cordy and Anya gonna fight over who gets to do a vengeance on Xander? OR is his predicament BECAUSE of a vengeance wish? Is Angel truly in love with Xander? What happened to Giles? What happened to Angel's towel????



Okay, so I'm in a little bit of a cough-syrup induced wierdness, and arg I cant answer the WIllow&Tara question because I have to go because I took the medicine so I could go to theatre so I'll answer it later...

[pleasantlyblue]

hahahahahahahaha

this fic is amazing.

snippygal is my new fic hero.

seriously, you should be contracted by one of those 'adult incontinence' companies. your writing could make them a lot of money. with the funniness of it all, im sure there are kittens everywhere peeing their pants as i type this...



edited because i cant spell

-----------------------------------------------------[break]

i do not patronize bunny rabbits!

Edited by: pleasantlyblue at: 11/21/02 8:11:55 pm

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hey SnippyGal--I just started reading this and I don't know that I can add any new information aside from saying that you are so completely and demonically funny in this fic. There are so many great lines that I don't even know where to begin...Janice being white trash; the fact that Buffy just gets dumber and dumber ("pretending to know how to tell time"); Dawn's increasingly obvious wild side (loved the helicopter part); Buffy setting up the video camera...And the inside jokes about the writers and producers...I know you've received a lot of high praise from a lot of Kittens; I just wanted you to know that I've read each "episode" twice and keep finding new things each time. I think that's b/c you're so clever and smooth at slipping humor into the flow of any given sentence and scene; to my mind, sly humor is the best kind.



Thanks a lot for giving a side-splittingly funny perspective on something that has a lot of us just heart-broken.



Mary

[snippygal]

mollyig - There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sniggering all the way through. Even at the parts containing high drama --- should I ever write any.



BoredNow99 - Well, you know what they say -- laughter is the best medicine. Actually, it’s just a silly excuse to get completely loaded. Wait - strike that. Reverse it. On behalf of my brain, thank you for the compliments. I wish I could make the “charming” parts a little more prominent than the “odd” parts. Could come in handy with the ladies. Then I wouldn’t be stuck at home writing fics for you goofy bastards.



Tulipp - Well, make up your damn mind! Is it too much or not enough? I’m trying to listen to my audience here and you’re being all indecisive. I am happy to hear about the shrieking and the spilling of the coffee and the scaring of the cat. All good signs. But I’m thinking it’s not quite enough.



(And just between you and me ... I do still have it, but a few more weeks on the ointment and it’ll be cleared up. Thanks for the recommendation.)



The Big I T - I may have been stretching things a bit when I alluded to the idea that “Bobby” is some form of legitimate literature. I mean, have you seen all the typos in this thing? Atroshus, rilly. But hey - your little novel you just wrote on why you love Willow and Tara? Good stuff. Snipp has the power. And don’t you forget it.



MellindraX - Hmm... from the sound of things, I’m guessing you’re one of those crazed Dodgeball players. A take-no-prisoners type. The kind that I feared in high school. No wait, that was the cheerleaders. No wait, I adored them from afar. Strange, but high school has become a blur. I can’t possibly imagine why.



AlteaThree - So many questions you know I can’t answer. That would spoil everything. I could lie, but we know how well that turns out. I will say this: I promise to wrap everything up in the finale. At least, I’ll try. I actually need to go back and reread some of this stuff and look for the inconsistencies I’m convinced are already developing.



pleasantlyblue - Thanks for the career advice. I’ll take it under advisement. But you know, it all depends. I am so so happy to be your new fic hero. Do I have to do anything special for that? Any kind of “adorer support” or can I just wallow in that fact that I’m someone’s hero? Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.



AntigoneUnbound - First of all, thanks for your feedback. There are several words in my head forming sentences about the whole “heart-broken” thing you said, but they’re all fairly serious and wouldn’t that just defeat the soul purpose of this thread? I think it would. So, with that in mind, I’ll just say that I find parody to be the one great way to handle any bad situation. Hell, since the beginning of time, when one little caveboy felt insecure about his bad teeth, he started making fun of another little caveboy with bad teeth and he felt better. At least, that was just one of theories I was taught in school. (Well, not all of my humor can be clever).

I have to admit, though, that I slip so much junk in here that I’m tempted to underline everything I think is funny, just to make sure everyone gets it. “ATTENTION: LAUGH HERE!” Hey - it works on sitcoms.





I would like to thank those who included their personal little love letters to Willow and Tara. But I need more! At this rate Episode 19: “The NC17 Cinemax Willow and Tara Hot Sweaty Sex Stuff” will never get written! You guys don’t really expect me to write it myself, do you? Okay, so that’s not going to be the title. I already told you - I don’t do smut. Well, I do it. I mean, I’m one freaky lady in the sack. Seriously, I've been taking these yaga classes and ... erm. (*Pauses and regroups*) I just don’t write it.



Anyway, thanks for the verbal happies. In light of Spike’s newfound “soul”, I just want to say to all of you: You send me. Honest you do.



Snipp

----------------------------

"Oh, stewardess, I speak jive." - Barbara Billingsley

[jaycatt23]

Sparkly leotard Willow. I approve muchly.



Shaved head Tara. At first, I thought 'uh?', but I think I'm with Willow on this one - it's a very interesting idea. I likey.



Vampire Xander. Good, good, good. The chemistry between him and Angel is incredible. Or something.



Other kitties have been rather philosophical about what is so great about Willow and Tara. But I'm a shallow soul, and so my contribution is



Willow: oh, her hair. Such an amazing incredible colour. And the quirky grin. And the babbling.



Tara: The smile. The eyes. The whole of her. On a plate, delivered to me please. Thank you.

[Mrs Vertigo]

*quietly laughs herself to death in the background. Well, not really… quietly. At all. Ahem. Enough to turn a few heads, actually. But, y’know, when kittens begin to clear their throats suggestively and look for the proverbial duct tape, she does have the curtsey to finally double over and literally die of laughter.*

On Buffy, Season 7: ”Bored now…”

[The Big I T]

Oh snipp. Yoga. Which implies deep breathing and much bendiness. Be still my heart.



Okay. So I was out for dinner last night and while I was waiting for the main course my mind wandered back to your question and I found myself jotting a few "extra" thoughts down on my cocktail napkin. It was a very small napkin, but here's what I came home with:



The way Tara sits in a chair.

The way Willow babbles.



Tara’s pride in Willow’s geekiness.

Willow’s laughter at Tara’s jokes.



Tara thumb-wrestling.

Willow color-coding.



Willow in fishnets.

Tara in boxers. (Or that burgundy nightie.)



Both in leather.

Both in satin sheets.



Willow’s hair short.

Tara’s hair up.



Matching pony tails.

Mutual JBF hair.



Willow’s freckles.

Tara’s stutter.



Willow’s tummy.

Tara’s curves.



Willow’s power.

Tara’s strength.



Willow's enthusiasm.

Tara's patience.



Doll’s Eye Crystal.

Tinkerbell light.



Star gazing.

Slow dancing.



Hand holding.

Arm rubbing.



The Flaming O.

The Floating O.



Willowhand.

Tara lips.



Bedroom eyes.

Pillow talk.



Red and Green.

Blonde and Blue.



Strong like Amazons.

Always finding each other.



The way they need each other.

The way they want each other.



The way they look *for* each other.

The way they look *at* each other.



The way they reach for each other.

The way they support each other.



The way Tara says Willow’s name – like a blessing received.

The way Willow says Tara’s name – like a prayer answered.



The way that Willow knows things.

The way that Tara understands them.



The way Willow rests her hand on Tara’s knee.

The way Tara rubs her thumb across the top of Willow’s hand.



They way that they see each other as special.

The way that they make each other feel special.



The way being with Tara soothes and calms Willow, grounding her and giving her peace.

The way being with Willow makes Tara skip.



The way they *feel* each other even when they’re apart.

The way they *know* and are drawn to each other – even when hellgods and forget spells stand between them.



Protective Willow.

Take-charge Tara.



"Baby"

"Sweetie"



Aly.

Amber.



Applesauce.

Pancakes.



Always.

Everything.



Truly.

Forever.





Edited because I missed a couple on that bunched up napkin.

********



”How ‘bout them Broncos …” – some guy, saying something useful, in The Initiative

Edited by: The Big I T at: 11/24/02 4:29:14 pm

[kbk3022]

Snippy, Snippy, Snippy...Pumpernickel. Sorry it took me a bit to read your update but what an update it was. Tara shaving her head for the show, now that's just cool. Also, about what I love about Willow and Tara, see everything that The Big I T just listed.



Kasey

[snippygal]

jaycatt23 - You know the sparkles were just for you. Wasn’t sure how everyone would react to Tara shaving her head. Just reread it and imagine Joan Jett singing something anti-establishmenty and it totally works. Trust me on this.



Mrs Vertigo - Please don’t die. Shelby, he wants you to open your eyes! He wants you to open your -- open your eyes!



I T - You know, it really wouldn’t hurt you to participate a little in this simple exercise. I ask one small favor to help the story along and you bring me this? But I kid. My that’s a long cocktail napkin you have.



kbk3022 - And a mighty kaleidoscope to you. (psst - that means thank you from the bottom of my heart.) And I thought it was just lovely what you said about Willow and Tara. No one but you could come up with such a list.





----------------------------------------

"Oh, stewardess, I speak jive." - Barbara Billingsley

[AlteaThree]

Well, how can I???That was a great list!

But, I guess it's the way Tara and Willow both are so natural to each other,and forgiving, and loving. And they dont care what others think, but in a respectful, mature way.(they wouldnt go up to a perfect stranger and say"You look stupid in that hat" or start making love in a playground-well, the kind kids play in, while kids are in it). The way they both treat Anya(well, sorry, but it's true). The caring nature of Tara-she's quirky and responsable, but still likes to have some fun. Willow's ramblings that go no-where and everywhere. The way they treat Xander. The way they both interact with Buffy, with all her pride and looking important.



Now, though, you cant stop "Bobby" yet! Here's why!:

You have to have a second season, to make up the missing season, even though you have already covered all cool material!

"Bobby" must go on until you bring in old characters back from the dead, in ghost, clone or Transporter Accident Alternate Universe(TAAU) form.

For instance, you could bring in a Quark-er, Snyder-back from TAAU and a Maggie Walsh clone with thier little kid played by Christine Ricci!

Or you could have Tara and Willow have a child using Xander's sperm, which turns into a big baby-switch court case that is boring but would last the entire season!

Okay, these suck, but that's just how series have to end these days!Instead of ending on a high note, like "bobby" is right now, it has to go on until you need the above strategies!





I've GOT to get of the cough sy

[Mrs Vertigo]

Snippygal, I love you, marry me.

On Buffy, Season 7: ”Bored now…”

[Tulipp]

Wow, IT, I need to start carrying napkins around with me, I think.



Just wanted to pop in here and say that your whole list was wonderful, but I found these two couplets, in particular, to be insightful:

Quote:

---

Willow's power.

Tara's strength.



The way that Willow knows things.

The way that Tara understands them.

---

Absolutely. Because power is not the same as strength, and knowing is not the same as understanding. Power without strength can be damaging, and strength without power can be futile. They complement one another perfectly.



Just...great list.

"And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!" -- Willow in "Doppelgangland

[pleasantlyblue]

just wallowing in your new found hero-ness (i think i made that up) is fine by me.

wallow away!

-----------------------------------------------------

i do not patronize bunny rabbits!

[snippygal]

Mrs. Vertigo, are you trying to seduce me?

"Oh, stewardess, I speak jive." - Barbara Billingsley

[jaycatt23]

IT, you rock.



Also, Snippy, you rock. Glad the sparkles were for me. I read it, and thought of er, me, so that's good.



Bobby mustn't be allowed to end. It always has me in tears of laughter, and if you end it, I don't think I'll be able to live any more.



So there.

[quarian]

Snippy!!



This is a seriously amazing and utterly hilarious fic! I laughed so hard..and I'm so glad I found this! Tara & Willow, still with all the goodness and that bunny episode!



And the whole Dawn and Janice thing..I cracked up!

--

Reality continues to ruin my life. - Calvin

[snippygal]

Title: Season 7

Author: snippygal

Rating: Regular font - PAX - PG/ Italics - Kitten-vision - R

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are property of Joss Whedon, ME, and Fox. The ideas expressed in this story are mine -- you can tell cuz they’re funny and lesbians don’t die.

Spoilers: Joss Whedon .. oh, you mean, ha ha. Not those kind of spoilers. Boy is my face red. Yes - Season 7 spoilers, of the fake kind.







“BUFFY” Episode 7.19 - “Curl Up & Dye”



LAST TIME:



She wears black boots under black leather pants. A tight, white t-shirt is covered by a black leather jacket. Full, round lips are painted bright red. Mirrored sunglasses hide her blue eyes. And the hair ---



Willow wrinkles her forehead. “Did she pull her hair back?”



She walks closer. Willow can now see --- Tara has shaved her head.

--------------------------

“There’s my boy,” Dawn beams proudly.



Xander looks at her in shock. “Holy crap! I’m a vampire!”



“Uh huh. Look, I have a very special assignment for you, Xander.”

--------------------------

“So, I’m on-line and I found this web site - ‘www.ggg.com.”



“What do the g’s stand for?” Tara asks.



“It’s ‘Going Gay ‘Gain.”



“Anyway, the thing is, they’re running a contest to raise money and gain publicity.”



“What’s the contest?” Willow asks.



“It’s a ‘Win a Threesome with Willow and Tara’ contest.”

--------------------------



AND NOW:



Willow and Tara lie tangled together, covered only by each other and a blanket. Tara’s head rests over her love’s heart while Willow stares down at her with longing in her eyes.



“So,” Willow begins, a little nervous. “Who, um, who cut your hair?”



“Anya.”



“Oh. I didn’t know she could do that sort of thing.”



“Do you not like it?”



“No, no. I love it. Very ... um ... very ... fuzzy. And by fuzzy I mean good, because you know me - I’m all with the fuzz. And I’m not completely sure what that means, but you know - I loved fuzz in like Season 3, but then, I guess you didn’t see me then. Anyway, I love it. It’s very different. And I like the leather and the take-charge Tara that its attached to.”



*It’s at this point that Willow begins to wonder why her babble is always taken just a little too far in fanfic. “Is it because it’s just a little too easy to write? Instead of giving me intelligent things to say, like the intelligent woman that I am, there is always the simple way out with the babble. Perhaps that’s where the writers for the actual show are coming from when they write me. They establish me as intelligent, yet, I say some pretty silly things and ramble on and on. Hmm. I’m doing it again. And so is the writer.”*



Willow decides to be extra-supportive gal.



“Well, I’ve thought about doing something different with my hair, too,” she says to Tara with her resolve face on.



“Really?”



Willow nods and smiles. “Think Anya could color my hair black?”



Tara smiles and kisses Willow softly on the lips. “I think that can be arranged.”



--------------------------



Giles sits amongst the ruins that is, or at least used to be the Sunnydale High Library. The walls are still in tact, which is a good thing, considering its history. However, books are still strewn all around. Piles and piles of books. Stacks. Crowded corners. Books! Books! Everywhere! And Giles sits in the middle, holding himself (eww, not like that). He’s curled up in a ball, rocking and looking around wide-eyed. He’s bewildered at the shape-shifter who told him those ominous words:



From between you, it deflowers.



“This cannot be real. It’s not real,” he says to himself.



A young girl walks into the library. She’s dressed kind of Christina Aguilera meets J. Lo on a skank day. Giles looks up. She twirls up to him.



“Hello, Mr. Giles. You look very handsome today in your tweed suit.”



“Gulp.” Giles actually says ‘gulp’ as he stands to face her.



“I was wondering if you could help me with some aerobics. I heard you did that sort of thing.”



“Um, well, y-yes. Yes, of course.”



“Great!” She smiles. “I’ll just go change into some spandex pants and a sports bra and we’ll be all set! Meet me in the gym, ‘kay?”



“Uh, y - yes,” Giles replies, cleaning his glasses.



Giles looks around at the mess of books.



“Well, this mess can wait.”



And he’s out the door.



--------------------------



That night, Buffy walks up to the attic while trying to digest everything that happened that day. New job. New look. Spike with soul. Who knew he could dance? And so well?



“Buffy!”



A shiver runs up the slayer’s spine, something that doesn’t generally happen. She quietly continues up the stairs.



“Yes, Mother?” Buffy says, reaching the attic.



The chair in front of the window rocks vigorously. Buffy steps closer and closer, a little afraid.



“Get rid of her, Buffy,” says the shadow in the chair.



“Yes, Mother.”

--------------------------



The next morning at the Summers House, Buffy lies on the living room floor doing sit-ups. She’s been doing them for an hour. She had planned on doing fifty, but every time she made it to twenty, she lost count. That’s our Buffy!



Finally, after she’s reached the point where she’s lost nearly all feeling in her stomach, Buffy stands, swings her arms from side to side and puffs out her cheeks. Her oversized gray sweats cover her body completely and strands of her hair fly in her face. She huffs them away and starts doing jumping jacks. Again with the counting. Again with the losing count.



Dawn bursts through the doors in a huff and rushes to the kitchen. Buffy hears her, stops jumping and follows her sister into the other room.



“Hey, Dawnie, I --” Buffy’s morning greeting is stopped short by Dawn’s outfit. Leather. Lace in strange places. Cleavage. Black eye make-up. The heroin-chic kind. She reeks of smoke and alcohol and several different kinds of cologne. Dawn notes Buffy’s surprise at her current condition.



“Oh, Janice and I are in a play. Didn’t I tell you about the play? Guys and Dolls. This is my outfit.”



Buffy accepts this and moves on to noticing her mood. “What’s with you? Why are you all -- huffy?”



Dawn holds up her script pages, enraged. “You knew this was going to happen, didn’t you?”



“Know what? I don’t know anything.”



“They’re sending me away! Because I’m all traumatized by seeing Willow and Tara kiss! What a load of crap!”



“Gosh. That is pretty silly.”



Dawn gives her the evil eye. “Don’t play dumb with me, Buffy.”



“I’m not playing,” Buffy answers honestly. She’s really not playing.



“I know what’s going on! You want me gone! You can’t handle the fact that you’re not the young one anymore. High school - that’s where the stories are. And that’s where I am! Not you!”



“Well, actually, Dawn, I am at the ...”



“Don’t interrupt me while I’m talking! You want me off this show so you can have all the focus on you! It’s always been about you! You’re the one who convinced them to keep me whiny and annoying so everyone would hate me!”



“Dawn, I had nothing to do with ...”



“Getoutgetoutgetout!!!”



Buffy instinctively covers her ears at the shrill noise of her sister. She shrugs her shoulders and walks out to do her five mile jog. This, of course turns into a twenty mile jog because, well, we all get the drill by now, don’t we?



With Buffy out of the house, Dawn makes a phone call.



“Tonight,” is all she says into the phone before hanging up.



While out on her jog, Buffy runs into Spike, which is strange, considering the fact that it’s daylight and he’s a vampire.



“Spike! What are you doing out here? And undusty?”



Spike nods around to his little shaded area. It’s just as sunny as the everything else, but we’re apparently led to believe that this is enough nonsunlight to keep him in one piece.



“I told you to call me, Will, Slayer.”



“ ‘Will Slayer’? Why would you want to be called ‘Will Slayer’? Seems strange to me that --”



Spike groans at Buffy’s ignorance.



“Just Will. Just call me Will.”



“Okay. Fine. So, what’s up, Spike?”



The vampire looks up at the bright sky and his small sports jacket. He realizes he has little chance of making it to another “safe” shady spot without burning up. But then he looks to Buffy and considers the alternative. Dying or continuing a conversation with the slayer. Spike suddenly wraps his coat around his head and sprints away.



Buffy shrugs again and jogs on.



--------------------------



That night Buffy runs around the kitchen putting out fires. The first one was in the sink. She had no idea how she started a fire in the sink, but when she’d tried to put it out with a towel, she ended up catching the drapes on fire. By the time she actually started cooking, the kitchen was completely fried.



“So much for Dawn’s special going away dinner,” Buffy sighs to herself as the doorbell ring.



Buffy opens the door to a very different Willow and Tara. Tara has her rebellion on and Willow wears a similar ensemble complete with the leather pants and a red halter top. Her hair is jet black.



Buffy stares at them for a moment before welcoming them inside.



“Guys. Hey.”



The couple smiles and enters.



“Will, you look kinda like Sarah Gilbert with your hair like that.”



“You like it? I thought I needed a change. Plus, if Faith ever comes back, she can’t call me ‘Red’ anymore.”



“And Tara ---”



Buffy checks her out bigtime, very naughty thoughts going through her brain.



“Wow.”



Tara politely smiles, trying to disregard Buffy’s obvious drooling.



“Thanks, Buffy.”



“Anya did it,” Willow answers.



“Anya, huh? She’s into that now?”



Willow and Tara don’t notice the strange look on Buffy’s face. Just then, Dawn bounces down the stairs and greets Willow and Tara with a squeal and a hug.



“Well, hey, Dawnie,” Tara says, slowly pulling herself from the hug. “You’re in good spirits for being written off the show.”



Dawn shrugs. Without looking at her sister she says, “Well, you never know what will happen.”



The doorbell rings again. It’s Xander dressed as a pizza boy. He carries two flat boxes in his hands.



“Anybody order some pizza?” he asks in his usual Hey-I’m-funny-guy-and-listen-to-this-joke kinda way.



“Xander?” Buffy gasps, because she’s all with the melodramatic. “Why are you dressed as a pizza boy?”



“Because I’m a pizza boy. Can I come in?”



“Sure. Of course. Come in.”



Buffy closes the door behind him.



“So,” she asks him, “what happened to the construction thing? I thought you liked playing with tools.”



“I did, but --- well, seriously, Buffy. You know I’m a complete moron. I’m almost as stupid as you.”



Everyone nods in agreement.



“Plus, my boss caught me eating glue, so, ya know, what can you do?”



“Elmers?” Buffy asks.



“Carpenter’s glue.”



While the conversation is both impressive and intellectually stimulating, they all head to the dining room to eat and celebrate Dawn’s departure.



After much pizza is consumed and Buffy has made several trips to the bathroom, they all sit around the table and talk. The subject of Anya comes up. Buffy knows she has to say it.



“I’m sorry, but I have to kill Anya.”



“Why?” Xander asks.



“Because, she’s evil now. Have you seen Willow and Tara?”



“Hey!” Willow yells, defending her hair.



“Yeah, hey!” Tara uncharacteristically pipes up.



“You two look ridiculous. If Anya’s doing things like that, she has to be stopped. I have to kill her.”



“But, Buffy ..” Xander starts.



“Dammit, Xander! I’m above the law! I’m better than all of you! If I say someone has to die, then they have to die! I may not be the smartest one here, but I’m the SLAYER!” The word ‘Slayer’ echoes throughout the house.



“Well,” Willow begins, getting her logic on, “why don’t you just take her scissors and hair dye and buzz clippers away. Then she won’t do this anymore.”



“No, no,” Buffy dismisses the idea with a shake of her head. “She has to die. End of discussion.”



“If Anya has to die, why doesn’t Spike?” Xander asks, a little jealous, because that’s another part of his character.



“Spike has soul.”



Everyone looks around. Spike? Billy Idol/Sid Vicious knock-off Spike? With soul? Not possible. Buffy explain it.



“He went to Detroit and visited Barry Gordy and I guess he went through a series of tests. Now he’s got soul. I can’t very well kill him, now. The world needs him. I mean, have you seen the kinds of people on Motown’s label these days?”



“Fine,” Xander stops Buffy’s rant about the problems with today’s music. “Spike doesn’t have to die. But Anya?”



“She has to die and that’s final. Did I mention how sad I still am about Angel?”



More shared looks around the table.



“Angel?” Willow asks. “What’s he got to do with this?”



“Nothing. But anytime I bring him up, it seems to prove some kind of point. So, I’m upset about Angel. Therefore, I’m right. Now, I’m going to go kill Anya.”



Buffy stands up and puts on one of her many different leather jackets that she couldn’t possibly afford. She turns back towards the table.



“Oh, happy going away, Dawnie. You’ll be missed.”



Before Buffy can get out the door, Dawn and Xander share a look. He jumps up from his chair and runs in front of the door. He’s got his vamp face on.



“Xander, get out of my ... hey. You’ve got something on your face. Pizza sauce?”



Xander rolls his eyes, as difficult as that is in a latex mask. “I’m a vampire, Buffy.”



Buffy shakes her head. “No, that’s not it.” She takes a wrinkled tissue out of her pocket, licks it and rubs it over the corner of Xander’s mouth. He flinches.



“Eww!” he screams. “And oww!” he adds as the skin where the tissue had touched begins to sizzle and smoke. “Holier than thou saliva!”



He moves out of her way and she’s out the door.



Dawn runs to him. “What the hell? You can’t kill one person?! What kind of a sorry excuse for a vampire are you?”



Xander shakes off his vamp face and looks as if he’s about to cry. “It was like Holy Water! You wouldn’t understand!”



With that he’s out the door, too. Weeping a little.



Willow and Tara, bored with the whole scene decide to call it a night. Which of course is lesbian code for ‘find a rough biker bar, slam back a few and then go home and have gratuitous sex for hours’. So they leave Dawn to her packing.



--------------------------



That night at the local chapter of http://www.ggg.com, five angry lesbians crowd around a small card table and discuss home maintenance. Finally, one of the womyn, named SaphicAvenger calls the meeting to order.



“This will be a short meeting because ER will be on in 10 minutes. First off, I would like to announce the winner of the ‘Win a Threesome with Willow and Tara Contest’. And that is ...” she looks at a piece of paper. “The Big IT. So Margaret --”



She’s cut off by a glaring look from one of the other womyn.



“-- Sorry. InsatiableGabrielle. You’ll put up the news tonight on the website and send an email, congratulating the lucky winner. She will be responsible for travel arrangements, lodging and, of course, actually convincing Willow and Tara to sleep with her.”



InsatiableGabrielle takes notes, while SaphicAvenger continues.



“The last order of business, and it pains me deeply to say this, but next week’s script has conveniently fallen into my hands. And it doesn’t look good for our girls. Bad things are going to happen.”



END of 7.19

--------------------------

"He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died." - Mrs. White

[Tulipp]

Oh.

My.

God.



I am so green with envy right now that I can hardly look at the Big IT. Not that she's here or anything. Just, you know, figuratively speaking, I can't even look at her.



I was going to go into this whole thing about how I'm going to miss my ass a lot, now that it's all laughed off, not that it was the greatest ass or anything; it just came in handy for sitting and stuff, but now it's all gone. I was going to say how much I LOVED the Willowbabble part and Xander's special "listen to my joke" voice and Dawn going away and Tara getting her rebellion on and then Willow getting her logic on and Buffy having to kill Anya because she made Willow and Tara evilly sexy.



But now I can't. I am consumed with envy and sadness, and I have to go away now. But it's okay because I'm going away very satisfied from a kick-ass chapter. My ass, I mean. That got kicked. From you being funny.

"And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!" -- Willow in "Doppelgangland

[mollyig]

As usual, I was giggling merrily away whilst reading this. Buffy's inability to count, and Xander the pizza guy were great but Holier than thou saliva was just brilliant.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

Edited by: mollyig  at: 12/11/02 7:39:28 am

[The Big I T]

Aw Tulipp. Here I am. Come on -- Look at me! Look at me!



I won I won I won I won!



And I never win anything. Ever. Never ever. And how did I do that anyway? Oh snipp...you have made my day. You make me *feel* like a winner. I am practically all swoony right now just thinking about how you make me feel.



And aside from the swooniness? Laugh. My. Ass. Off. Too.



Okay, not literally. Not like Tulipp. But almost. Cuz...That *look* described as Christina Aguilera meets JLo on a skank day? Holier than thou saliva? Buffy and Xander comparing glue flavors? Xander back to delivering pizzas? A gratuitous mention of Angel by

I-may-be-dumb-as-dirt-but-I'm-still-the-almighty-slayer-and-if-I-say-Anya-must-die-but-Spike-must-live-then-you'll-just-have-to-take-

my-word-for-it-that-it-makes-complete-plot-sense Buffy? And the observation on the side about Willowbabble? Wicked evil twisted genius, snipp. That's what you are.



And Tulipp...about that ass thing? Not to worry. There may not be much left there after this latest chapter...but from what I can see from here, what's left is all *choice*. Yes indeedy. The green thing, though, I cannot help you with...

Edited by: BytrSuite at: 12/11/02 9:49:51 am

[ruby]

Oh, Snipp, am I glad to hear from you. This is wonderful, laugh-out-loud stuff. Completely worth the wait. Even though I may have to join Tulipp in sulking about the threesome contest.



This has to go in the Hall of Fame:

Quote:

---

It’s at this point that Willow begins to wonder why her babble is always taken just a little too far in fanfic. “Is it because it’s just a little too easy to write? Instead of giving me intelligent things to say, like the intelligent woman that I am, there is always the simple way out with the babble.

---

So true! And just when I thought I'd stopped hyperventilating with laughing, there's Buffy with her multiple bathroom trips and her implausibly large leather coat collection.



Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go contemplate Tara with nothing but her rebellion on.

"Why did I have to be so veiny?" -- Alyson Hannigan

Edited by: ruby at: 12/11/02 9:17:30 am

[snippygal]

quarian - Sorry I didn’t get to you before. I suck. I’m lazy and I suck. I’m so glad you found this too. I don’t know how you could have avoided the billboards earlier. And the TV promos I have for it. But you’re here now and everything is going to be okay.



Tulipp - It was upsetting to hear about your ass. They’ve got prosthetic asses, now. You should look into it. Now, I don’t want to start any trouble between you and I T. Just be the bigger (and assless) person here, shake I T’s hand and just walk away.



Wait! Don’t walk away! There are still 3 more episodes left! Come back, Tulipp! Pa’s got things for you to do, and Mother wants you. I know she does. Tulipp! Tulipp! Come back!



mollyig - I’m glad you like the “holier than thou saliva”. It was late. I didn’t know if it would work, or if it was just stupid. But you said “brilliant”. Ahh - I never tire of hearing that.



I T - How did you do that? Are you serious? With the novel and the lists? You obviously have the most non-life of all of us here. I figured you should be the winner. And that’s a compliment. I think. I T, you ARE a winner! But, uh, if you ever feel like going into detail about the swooniness and how I make you feel, well, give me a call, eh?



ruby - That’s all I’ve been doing - contemplating Tara with nothing but her rebellion on. Why do you think it took me so long to get this episode finished? As far as Willowbabble - it’s just one of the many things that is taken to far in fanfic and I HAD to mention it. I wanted to go on for about a page, but I figured I didn’t need to shove my point down people’s throats. Because I would never do that. *Looks around* Has anyone seen my soapbox?



Snipp

-------------------------

"He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died." - Mrs. White